Anyone with experience with "mail order" brides?

[Hanszzz]

Asking for a 40M close friend / bro (but doesn't matter if anyone think is i ask for myself :rolleyes: ).

He has his flaws, but generally is a good guy without major personality issues. Tried his hand at relationships, but maybe is suay or what, always never get the girls he wants. Currently 40M le, never had a real relationship before, holds a decent job but slightly below-median salary.

I know he wants a relationship / family, but dun know is self-esteem issues or what, not very active in the dating scene. We talked about dating apps, speed dating events, etc etc, but he never seemed to take any concrete actions. Just recently, we talked about "mail order" brides, and the deadline to start a family if wanna have kids, and dun want to be too old to play with the kid.

TBH I also dun know why I'm asking here, but guess just wanna learn more about "mail order brides" from anyone experience. In our limited knowledge, we can only talk about some horror stories of such women only staying long enough to get PR then will ditch the husband. Greatly appreciate any insights and sharing! :)

[Singaporelang]

Asking for a 40M close friend / bro (but doesn't matter if anyone think is i ask for myself :rolleyes: ).

He has his flaws, but generally is a good guy without major personality issues. Tried his hand at relationships, but maybe is suay or what, always never get the girls he wants. Currently 40M le, never had a real relationship before, holds a decent job but slightly below-median salary.

I know he wants a relationship / family, but dun know is self-esteem issues or what, not very active in the dating scene. We talked about dating apps, speed dating events, etc etc, but he never seemed to take any concrete actions. Just recently, we talked about "mail order" brides, and the deadline to start a family if wanna have kids, and dun want to be too old to play with the kid.

TBH I also dun know why I'm asking here, but guess just wanna learn more about "mail order brides" from anyone experience. In our limited knowledge, we can only talk about some horror stories of such women only staying long enough to get PR then will ditch the husband. Greatly appreciate any insights and sharing! :)
Fear get PR Liao run..

[cjalbert]

Asking for a 40M close friend / bro (but doesn't matter if anyone think is i ask for myself :rolleyes: ).

He has his flaws, but generally is a good guy without major personality issues. Tried his hand at relationships, but maybe is suay or what, always never get the girls he wants. Currently 40M le, never had a real relationship before, holds a decent job but slightly below-median salary.

I know he wants a relationship / family, but dun know is self-esteem issues or what, not very active in the dating scene. We talked about dating apps, speed dating events, etc etc, but he never seemed to take any concrete actions. Just recently, we talked about "mail order" brides, and the deadline to start a family if wanna have kids, and dun want to be too old to play with the kid.

TBH I also dun know why I'm asking here, but guess just wanna learn more about "mail order brides" from anyone experience. In our limited knowledge, we can only talk about some horror stories of such women only staying long enough to get PR then will ditch the husband. Greatly appreciate any insights and sharing! :)

Current market rate is about 10-15k, you pay the middle man a deposit and he will source girls for you. After that, once you like a lady. He will arrange for you to head to vietnam to interact with the girl. If both consent then can either know more or get married instantly. Of course there is the dowry and stuff that have to be discussed beforehand.

[NebulaNomad]

TBH I also dun know why I'm asking here, but guess just wanna learn more about "mail order brides" from anyone experience. In our limited knowledge, we can only talk about some horror stories of such women only staying long enough to get PR then will ditch the husband. Greatly appreciate any insights and sharing!

[y238992]

Asking for a 40M close friend / bro (but doesn't matter if anyone think is i ask for myself :rolleyes: ).

He has his flaws, but generally is a good guy without major personality issues. Tried his hand at relationships, but maybe is suay or what, always never get the girls he wants. Currently 40M le, never had a real relationship before, holds a decent job but slightly below-median salary.

I know he wants a relationship / family, but dun know is self-esteem issues or what, not very active in the dating scene. We talked about dating apps, speed dating events, etc etc, but he never seemed to take any concrete actions. Just recently, we talked about "mail order" brides, and the deadline to start a family if wanna have kids, and dun want to be too old to play with the kid.

TBH I also dun know why I'm asking here, but guess just wanna learn more about "mail order brides" from anyone experience. In our limited knowledge, we can only talk about some horror stories of such women only staying long enough to get PR then will ditch the husband. Greatly appreciate any insights and sharing! :)

Your friend actually sounds like me LOL.

I have done lots of research and found things of info on the SOP/process to get a Vietnamese wife but I don't actually know of anyone who actually had a nice marriage with a Vietnamese wife or an unsuccessful marriage with a VN bride because my social circle damm limited. I have thought of ways to ask around, went online but everyone ignored me. I also don't know how to approach the Vietnamese community in singapore

Currently dating a non-muslim malay from Malaysia. Couple of times, when I walk next to you, its easy to mistake her for a maid.......

[viola06]

Your friend actually sounds like me LOL.

I have done lots of research and found things of info on the SOP/process to get a Vietnamese wife but I don't actually know of anyone who actually had a nice marriage with a Vietnamese wife or an unsuccessful marriage with a VN bride because my social circle damm limited. I have thought of ways to ask around, went online but everyone ignored me. I also don't know how to approach the Vietnamese community in singapore

Currently dating a non-muslim malay from Malaysia. Couple of times, when I walk next to you, its easy to mistake her for a maid.......

At one point in my life i ever considered mail order brides. Tbh Vietnamese wives, if you get a good one, can be a really nice additional to your life. Problem with mail order brides is that it is like a transactional thing and people always say they get PR will run away is because they marry u because of the money but not because they actually like you. Of course feelings can be developed in the later stages so it really depends on your luck and how you manage it.

Aside from mail order brides, my past experience being together with a vietnamese girl is that they tend to hide things or lie. Don’t be mistaken. They hide or lie can either be a good or bad thing. Good thing is that they dw certain truth to be exposed and ended up ruining the relationship while the bad is just pure deception. So you got to look at things from different perspectives

[SoGoodAh]

If after getting married and PR, the viet lady run away, i would say that's the least of your problems.

My ex-neighbor, married a viet lady. First 2 years no problem, 3rd year onwards, the sister came to visit for a "holiday". Then started appearing more and more, found out she moved in to stay with them. After awhile, the parents of both sisters also came to visit/holiday and then also moved in!

Mind you they're staying in a 3rm flat, so my ex-neighbor + wife + wife's sister + both sisters parents + ex-neighbor & wifes 2 kids = 7 pax all squeezed into a 3rm flat!

Marry 1 viet bu=marry her whole family and they will move in with you!

[viola06]

If after getting married and PR, the viet lady run away, i would say that's the least of your problems.

My ex-neighbor, married a viet lady. First 2 years no problem, 3rd year onwards, the sister came to visit for a "holiday". Then started appearing more and more, found out she moved in to stay with them. After awhile, the parents of both sisters also came to visit/holiday and then also moved in!

Mind you they're staying in a 3rm flat, so my ex-neighbor + wife + wife's sister + both sisters parents + ex-neighbor & wifes 2 kids = 7 pax all squeezed into a 3rm flat!

Marry 1 viet bu=marry her whole family and they will move in with you!

Wah lau why like this. Can just move in to Singapore and stay just like that meh? Thought got some form of regulation and need to apply something from ICA?

[SoGoodAh]

Wah lau why like this. Can just move in to Singapore and stay just like that meh? Thought got some form of regulation and need to apply something from ICA?

Definitely have to apply for LTVP or something similar in order to stay for extended period of time. Though i'm not sure what pass they applied for as all the neighbors arent on speaking terms with this family as they brough their vietnam culture over.

i.e. Grandparents will shout for the kids to hurry up from the lift lobby, when the kids are still in the unit. They'll purposely drag their slippers when walking past our corridor windows or communicate with another person by raising their voices to shouting levels.

[viola06]

Definitely have to apply for LTVP or something similar in order to stay for extended period of time. Though i'm not sure what pass they applied for as all the neighbors arent on speaking terms with this family as they brough their vietnam culture over.

i.e. Grandparents will shout for the kids to hurry up from the lift lobby, when the kids are still in the unit. They'll purposely drag their slippers when walking past our corridor windows or communicate with another person by raising their voices to shouting levels.

Bad taste in the mouth. Jialat leh

[chubbybastard]

If after getting married and PR, the viet lady run away, i would say that's the least of your problems.

My ex-neighbor, married a viet lady. First 2 years no problem, 3rd year onwards, the sister came to visit for a "holiday". Then started appearing more and more, found out she moved in to stay with them. After awhile, the parents of both sisters also came to visit/holiday and then also moved in!

Mind you they're staying in a 3rm flat, so my ex-neighbor + wife + wife's sister + both sisters parents + ex-neighbor & wifes 2 kids = 7 pax all squeezed into a 3rm flat!

Marry 1 viet bu=marry her whole family and they will move in with you!

I still don't think having their relatives coming over is the worse thing coz that's gonna happen with all foreign brides whether mail order or not. Even for Malaysians. Its smtg you have to accept otherwise go marry another Singaporean.

The main concern and the worst thing is that your so called mail order wife is fucking someone else while you are away, probably working. She has no feelings for you anyway since its a transactional thing. So you, thinking you finally have a wife and family become the cuckold husband working to support her and family while she is fucking another guy in your home on your matrimonial bed. And as most Viets like raw and creampie, your kid many not even be yours! That even worse than have 7 people in your house!

[MrRacer7]

If possible go and know those vietnamese that is already in Singapore if not you can plan to go on a holiday and then look for one.

Why pay a 3rd party which has no guarantee, if you know what I mean? For the money that you are going to pay to 3rd party some of these money could have impress the girl already. Just a food for thought

[chubbybastard]

At one point in my life i ever considered mail order brides. Tbh Vietnamese wives, if you get a good one, can be a really nice additional to your life. Problem with mail order brides is that it is like a transactional thing and people always say they get PR will run away is because they marry u because of the money but not because they actually like you. Of course feelings can be developed in the later stages so it really depends on your luck and how you manage it.

Aside from mail order brides, my past experience being together with a vietnamese girl is that they tend to hide things or lie. Don’t be mistaken. They hide or lie can either be a good or bad thing. Good thing is that they dw certain truth to be exposed and ended up ruining the relationship while the bad is just pure deception. So you got to look at things from different perspectives

I know 2 other friend that did just that i.e. marry Viet mail order wife. 1 ran away after getting PR taking most of his money, matrimonial jewellery and his rolex before running back to Vietnam. Luckily no kids. I told him his is not that bad. At least he can start afresh. Lesson learnt.

The other friend is even worse. Like 100x worse. Its the one in the thread above. He is mid 40s ok stable career with median Singaporean salary in engineering but since he is more an introvert, can't find gf and engineering not a industry with alot of women anyways. So he got mail order bride. First year of marriage was a bliss. Got their resale 4 room flat and everything was great.

Then he started realising she sounded like she is in a hurry or like busy everytime he called home which was not very frequent anyway. He also realised something amiss when he once found a mens underwear in the toilet but he clearly remembers its not his. However his wifey kept convincing him its his. He didn't think much of it that time.

The kicker started when he decided to install secret camera in various corner of the house including his bedroom as he suspect something amiss. Low and behold, he found out every other day there are many men coming into the house fucking his wife on his matrimonial bed! She was running an FL business in his house! Needless to say he confronted her and initially she verhemently denied it until he roll the fotages. They ended up in a big fight and eventually divorced. She is 6 months pregnant when they divorced and she is claiming child support for a kid that he does not even know if its his! Talk about being in a shitty position.

[viola06]

I know 2 other friend that did just that i.e. marry Viet mail order wife. 1 ran away after getting PR taking most of his money, matrimonial jewellery and his rolex before running back to Vietnam. Luckily no kids. I told him his is not that bad. At least he can start afresh. Lesson learnt.

The other friend is even worse. Like 100x worse. Its the one in the thread above. He is mid 40s ok stable career with median Singaporean salary in engineering but since he is more an introvert, can't find gf and engineering not a industry with alot of women anyways. So he got mail order bride. First year of marriage was a bliss. Got their resale 4 room flat and everything was great.

Then he started realising she sounded like she is in a hurry or like busy everytime he called home which was not very frequent anyway. He also realised something amiss when he once found a mens underwear in the toilet but he clearly remembers its not his. However his wifey kept convincing him its his. He didn't think much of it that time.

The kicker started when he decided to install secret camera in various corner of the house including his bedroom as he suspect something amiss. Low and behold, he found out every other day there are many men coming into the house fucking his wife on his matrimonial bed! She was running an FL business in his house! Needless to say he confronted her and initially she verhemently denied it until he roll the fotages. They ended up in a big fight and eventually divorced. She is 6 months pregnant when they divorced and she is claiming child support for a kid that he does not even know if its his! Talk about being in a shitty position.
Sorry that your bro went through this. But it is really a nightmare. That is partly why i ended up not going for mail order marriage. I wish i can know a legit Vietnamese lady and marry out of love like how u would normally date someone here. But i don't speak Vietnamese so very hard.

[gerber88]

i would stay clear of the vietbus, too much risk and they probably have a SOP on singaporean men.

Personally, if i ever get a chance again, i will explore central asian brides, still look asian ( so can integrate well into our society) and u can find one that will be more traditional :)

h

[sane]

What I can say is: think carefully about what you want to achieve in this marriage.

How well do you know her? Her background? If she’s marrying to escape poverty, how will you support her and her family?

Have you considered children? Can your salary cover her, a house, bills, kids, renovations, the wedding, groceries, tuition, and enrichment programs?

If your income can’t cover her and her family, will she start looking for greener pastures?

Instead of wasting time and money, I’d say that staying single might actually be the better option.

[Ilovejesus]

Why do your even want a wife? Just go fuck them and change...got more varieties and less trouble and way cheaper

[nanahoriuchi]

I'm in healthcare line, got to know a few decent looking viet nurses working in my company. I believe they are looking to settle down Sg as some of them got to know their sinkie bf thru dating apps. These viet healthcare professionals as far as I know are well educated and earning decent income (PS dun ask me for their contacts, they are not whores)

[BatamBro]

Back then maybe not so jialat..
But for now because their online info teach so much about this concept of mail order bride benefits, the cunning ones are usually mentally prepared to tahan with you and learn about you until can gongtao to help whatever mother father brother grandmother problems they have in vietnam.

Smarter ones will just pretend not ask you apply for PR but give those hints about better to have PR.. up to you want to apply.. or ask you want to retire in vietnam and buy one house there put her name nevermind..
(Doesn't apply to all Vietnamese) But one thing important to note is that the culture difference there makes them see the marriage / love more of transactional / economical rather than emotional / bonding.

They have tiktokers there sharing in their language about how they manage to benefit from this and how silly we fall for their beauty / sweet talking.

Of course, this does not apply to all Mail Order Brides.
But just have to be mentally prepared for such cases as the new generation of viet girls also much more strategic with gongtao methods and economical farming.