How do people move on from break-ups?

[jt17574]

I don't know if this is the right place to post this. My relationship of 3 years+ ended earlier this year. I know the duration isnt very long but I really thought she was the one and will be spending my life with her. I thought we were doing well until one fine day she gave me a call, told me that she lost feeling for me and just ended the relationship.

It has been months since but I can't seem to move on. Since the break-up, I started going to MLs/FLs to distract myself but every single time I just felt more empty, yet I can't seem to break free from this cycle. I still keep photos and messages of my ex even though I look at them less frequently now. I cant bare to delete them.

I thought I was doing better but recently passed by a place where both of us used to frequent. Memories flooded and the feelings started coming back again. How can i ever let go? Any experienced bros/sis can help me out? :(

[oxeso]

时间不会让我不痛，它只会让我习惯了痛。:o

Oh.. to make it easier for u to break free from the whoring cycle, post ur acc password here. Ups my rep pts b4 u do tat tho.. tq in advance. :D

[chubbybastard]

I don't know if this is the right place to post this. My relationship of 3 years+ ended earlier this year. I know the duration isnt very long but I really thought she was the one and will be spending my life with her. I thought we were doing well until one fine day she gave me a call, told me that she lost feeling for me and just ended the relationship.

It has been months since but I can't seem to move on. Since the break-up, I started going to MLs/FLs to distract myself but every single time I just felt more empty, yet I can't seem to break free from this cycle. I still keep photos and messages of my ex even though I look at them less frequently now. I cant bare to delete them.

I thought I was doing better but recently passed by a place where both of us used to frequent. Memories flooded and the feelings started coming back again. How can i ever let go? Any experienced bros/sis can help me out? :(

Why didn't you take her off the market (i.e. marrying her) when you had the chance to do so? 3 years is a long time and the fact that you didn't want to commit to her shows you have doubts about the relationship anyway. So just move on. Tell yourself you were unsure about her anyways hence the 3 years of waiting and go date other gurls. She probably didn't want to wait for you or felt you took her for granted as well.

[munching]

I don't know if this is the right place to post this. My relationship of 3 years+ ended earlier this year. I know the duration isnt very long but I really thought she was the one and will be spending my life with her. I thought we were doing well until one fine day she gave me a call, told me that she lost feeling for me and just ended the relationship.

It has been months since but I can't seem to move on. Since the break-up, I started going to MLs/FLs to distract myself but every single time I just felt more empty, yet I can't seem to break free from this cycle. I still keep photos and messages of my ex even though I look at them less frequently now. I cant bare to delete them.

I thought I was doing better but recently passed by a place where both of us used to frequent. Memories flooded and the feelings started coming back again. How can i ever let go? Any experienced bros/sis can help me out? :(

MLs/FLs won't help la. this one is emotional pain not physical one. go find a rebound. always the one got dumped get hurt. so key point here is don't get dumped. find a rebound, have your time and after u healed enough, dump her. for sure you will move on liao. then the cycle of heart pain will be passed on to your rebound. such is life cannot run way from.

[gerber88]

Personally,

Fls did help, spending on them was cheaper than spending on the ex, plus less headache.

jsut make sure dont kenna gong tao ( then different story)

once your balls is empty ( all the time), you can reflect on the situation and think clearly.

[kikurai]

When you realized people come and go ;) , you won't cling onto people so much.

After a while, you don't miss her, you just miss the experience or sweet memories. Go out and meet more girls lor. Date here and there, be open minded, who knows maybe you may find another one.

[puffyboy]

Give it time bro and work on yourself first. Go to the gym, start reading books, learn a new instrument or language, etc.

Find an outlet or hobby that you enjoy, can relieve stress and keep your mind occupied. Time will heal, jiayou!

[limwc]

Focus on yourself go to gym, pick up new hobbies, catch up with bros, travel a bit

One day you will look back and realize you’re okay. Heartbreak is part of growing

[nosleepbkk861]

From me it was very easy, you become a wild animal, go tap everything you wanna do and just let it all go. Somethings are just meant to be, you just have to go and release the tension inside, accumulated from years of pain and sorrow stuffed up inside, once you get that out of your system, then we can sit down and talk about how to move on.

[Dundee2]

Find activities to keep yourself occupied, pick up a new exercise routine e.g. start swimming regularly, going to workout classes. Shit happens a fact that has to accepted, the feelings will fade away slowly but surely.

[Pokkatea]

i also hard to move on from my korean gf even though i am married :D know her from club in sg and got together for 1 year n half just broke up in april this year :( everywhere i go had memories with her, even in my own car which we had car sex inside haha :D

[finalrebel]

you don move on. you only learn how to live with it and trying to hope it gets less painful each day . clinging on the hope one day you will forget her and find someone who give u the same feels

[Xotix]

Personally,

Fls did help, spending on them was cheaper than spending on the ex, plus less headache.

jsut make sure dont kenna gong tao ( then different story)

once your balls is empty ( all the time), you can reflect on the situation and think clearly.

Only 2 options after booking FL.. Post nut clarity will tell him if he has moved on or he need her back.

[jt17574]

Thanks all for your replies. I really appreciate it. I'm still stuck between wanting to wait for her and moving on although i know this relationship is already over long ago. Somehow feels like i'm trying to do both at the same time haha.. I have also stopped visiting MLs/FLs for quite sometime, not easy to break free even though i had kind of a love-hate relationship with this vice of mine. Figured its not healthy for me in the long term..

Since then, have been putting the money to better use by spending it on my close friends, families and of course myself. Still taking small steps each day towards moving on. I guess some of you said it right, its probably something i have to live with for the rest of my life.

[Ilovejesus]

Thanks all for your replies. I really appreciate it. I'm still stuck between wanting to wait for her and moving on although i know this relationship is already over long ago. Somehow feels like i'm trying to do both at the same time haha.. I have also stopped visiting MLs/FLs for quite sometime, not easy to break free even though i had kind of a love-hate relationship with this vice of mine. Figured its not healthy for me in the long term..

Since then, have been putting the money to better use by spending it on my close friends, families and of course myself. Still taking small steps each day towards moving on. I guess some of you said it right, its probably something i have to live with for the rest of my life.

Sorry for your loss, it must be hard to be going through what you are at this moment. It also shows that you are a guy who really loves and treasure his woman, sentimental and thoughtful.

I have been through similar situations several times, finding FLs is for physical needs, so I dated them instead as my gf for the emotional fun and to fill the void. But the true cure is finding another love to focus on, until then you will just be thinking of your ex. Focus on getting rich as well, you will have many pussies.

Based on your sharing, seems to me she may have found another cock to put in her mouth and pussy, and also probably her arse as well. My point is, focus on the fact that she is no longer your bitch and as u wallow in self-pity and sweet lingering memories at every passing place you stumble upon, wake up to the musky reality that ur ex is probably smelling another guy's underwear and have cum all over her face and living as though u are just a passing cloud.

My point is don't be a pussy, your ex will not feel the same. Don't waste your energy on pussies that don't appreciate u. You were dumped like a soiled diaper, so get out of this shitty hole and be a man again by bailing out of these thoughts.

You will do better, meet better pussies, and you will be a better man.

All the best

[jt17574]

Sorry for your loss, it must be hard to be going through what you are at this moment. It also shows that you are a guy who really loves and treasure his woman, sentimental and thoughtful.

I have been through similar situations several times, finding FLs is for physical needs, so I dated them instead as my gf for the emotional fun and to fill the void. But the true cure is finding another love to focus on, until then you will just be thinking of your ex. Focus on getting rich as well, you will have many pussies.

Based on your sharing, seems to me she may have found another cock to put in her mouth and pussy, and also probably her arse as well. My point is, focus on the fact that she is no longer your bitch and as u wallow in self-pity and sweet lingering memories at every passing place you stumble upon, wake up to the musky reality that ur ex is probably smelling another guy's underwear and have cum all over her face and living as though u are just a passing cloud.

My point is don't be a pussy, your ex will not feel the same. Don't waste your energy on pussies that don't appreciate u. You were dumped like a soiled diaper, so get out of this shitty hole and be a man again by bailing out of these thoughts.

You will do better, meet better pussies, and you will be a better man.

All the best

Thanks bro, my mind tells me exactly the same but my heart needs more time to catch up with my mind i guess.

[owlette]

I thought I was doing better but recently passed by a place where both of us used to frequent. Memories flooded and the feelings started coming back again. How can i ever let go? Any experienced bros/sis can help me out? :(

slightly similar situation as you.
am married but wife and i decided to "open relationship" as things have faded already.

got into a relationship with a local girl for roughly 3yrs also. broke up couple of times in between. mostly cause it seemed like she had someone outside. after a month or so each time that we broke up, she would call me in the middle of the night crying saying that she missed me. 我还是心软了. was willing to give up marriage and what not for her but sadly she didn't see it that way.

been year or so since the last break up, i still think of her and have sleepless nights over her.

as you have said, all the ml/fl/ktv eventually become meaningless. they only serve as a temporary distraction. after each session, i find myself going home to an empty room and all the emotions and thoughts just come crashing back in.

it comes down to learning acceptance. of course alot easier said than done. but it isn't like we have other choices. even years later, you will likely still look back and think of this relationship. by then, may be you have moved on, may be she is married as well.

有时拥有过也算是个美好的结局

[jt17574]

slightly similar situation as you.
am married but wife and i decided to "open relationship" as things have faded already.

got into a relationship with a local girl for roughly 3yrs also. broke up couple of times in between. mostly cause it seemed like she had someone outside. after a month or so each time that we broke up, she would call me in the middle of the night crying saying that she missed me. 我还是心软了. was willing to give up marriage and what not for her but sadly she didn't see it that way.

been year or so since the last break up, i still think of her and have sleepless nights over her.

as you have said, all the ml/fl/ktv eventually become meaningless. they only serve as a temporary distraction. after each session, i find myself going home to an empty room and all the emotions and thoughts just come crashing back in.

it comes down to learning acceptance. of course alot easier said than done. but it isn't like we have other choices. even years later, you will likely still look back and think of this relationship. by then, may be you have moved on, may be she is married as well.

有时拥有过也算是个美好的结局


Thanks bro for sharing, you are right. I'm also grateful that she once chose to love me for who I am despite my flaws. The ML/FLs just makes me even more miserable but its just so addictive haha. I have since stopped for a couple months and looked to forge new genuine relationships instead that doesnt revolve around money. May you have strength and good fortune on the road ahead.

[36SCE]

I thought I was doing better but recently passed by a place where both of us used to frequent. Memories flooded and the feelings started coming back again. How can i ever let go? Any experienced bros/sis can help me out? :(

You are not just dealing with grieving for your loss but dealing with somatic memory too. Your body stores past experiences through physical sensations and it is captured within your subconscious.

With your partner, it was more than just physical touch. I assume there was emotional intimacy too. That's why you are struggling when you go for paid activities. You are just replacing the physical touch

[Topper]

I don't know if this is the right place to post this. My relationship of 3 years+ ended earlier this year. I know the duration isnt very long but I really thought she was the one and will be spending my life with her. I thought we were doing well until one fine day she gave me a call, told me that she lost feeling for me and just ended the relationship.

It has been months since but I can't seem to move on. Since the break-up, I started going to MLs/FLs to distract myself but every single time I just felt more empty, yet I can't seem to break free from this cycle. I still keep photos and messages of my ex even though I look at them less frequently now. I cant bare to delete them.

I thought I was doing better but recently passed by a place where both of us used to frequent. Memories flooded and the feelings started coming back again. How can i ever let go? Any experienced bros/sis can help me out? :(

Your case is the easiest to let go provided you adopt the correct mindset.

Reason is simple. Since she suddenly lost feeling for you, it's obvious there is something wrong with her and she is just not worth the effort to even think about her.

She might have all the while been deceiving you with a false facade while secretly looking for someone better (usually richer or more capable etc.) so once she found it jitao dump you.

Is such a lady worth you to even keep thinking about her? Siao.

Once a relationship is gone due to whatever fark reasons, the moment you start to think and wanting to go back, you are going towards being a simp 添狗 territory already. 正所谓添狗添狗，添到一无所有 LOL.

Truth is, all woman are for farking and controlling, never for loving. Once you live life long enough, you will realize than love always changes - feelings change, people change 计划赶不上变化 so you must adapt quickly and get on top of the situation and having power and control over the woman using diversification strategy is the wiser path than finding love which is only transient in the first place LOL.

Always attract, never chase. Once you build a beautiful garden with flowers, all the butterflies will come bringing all sorts of love til you can't even take it nor have time to think about what ranjiao how to move on from break-ups as you have too many substitutes to switch anytime LOL.

Brutal truth about all love relationships in life is it's always temporal and conditional - you just need to play-along, role-act and enjoy the moments while it last while preparing for the worst scenario with back-up plan.

In fact she had prolly adopted this mindset and dumped you in the first place.

So do you still think this kind of lady is worth the effort to cling on?

Always remember, 人善被人欺，马善被人骑。所以男人想要站得稳，必须心要狠，要敢硬气一点她们敢跟你拼命吗？

So next time if you happen to see her on the street or whatever place, make sure you fark her upside down and don't give her face with zero mercy even if she kneels down and beg for forgiveness (this is worse as it means she lost the other gambit like being dump/scammed by the other party etc. LOL), and if she ask why, just tell her because...迟来的深情，比草还贱 LOL.

[chnhubby71]

I don't know if this is the right place to post this. My relationship of 3 years+ ended earlier this year. I know the duration isnt very long but I really thought she was the one and will be spending my life with her. I thought we were doing well until one fine day she gave me a call, told me that she lost feeling for me and just ended the relationship.

It has been months since but I can't seem to move on. Since the break-up, I started going to MLs/FLs to distract myself but every single time I just felt more empty, yet I can't seem to break free from this cycle. I still keep photos and messages of my ex even though I look at them less frequently now. I cant bare to delete them.

I thought I was doing better but recently passed by a place where both of us used to frequent. Memories flooded and the feelings started coming back again. How can i ever let go? Any experienced bros/sis can help me out? :(

Believe in Fate and Destiny and Move On to avoid emotional stress.

Look for thing that interest you to move forward bro. Cheer!

[PPGirl]

Get urself busy & move on..
Or at most cry a few times.....

Can also get a new one to replace

Sure will have memories when passed by familiar places, all these we can just keep as gd memories.

Hope u have deleted the photos by now. No point keeping them to make urself sad.

Just remember dont force urself to let go. Time will heal..

[Dignified69]

Definitely find new GF/relationship.

It is good that you have stopped GL. I started 18 years ago because of sexless marriage and have not been able to stop. Easily spent $140,000 on this vice.

Avoid GL like the plague for the dark side it is. Corrupt you forever it will.

Get new relationship, BTO, have kids experience of the joy of that journey.

My wish for you is that you have a deep and meaningful relationship which brings you much joy and your CO has sex with you for your entire married life.