Need some advice

[Boredpanda369]

Hi all. Been a lurker here for a long time liao.

Recently I have this issue, don't know who to talk to or how to even deal with it.

I have a wife but over the years her character began to show. Basically very self entitled and rude and the typical kiasu Sgrean type. Usually I just go thru with life lo what else to do. We got 2 kids together liao life just goes on.

Then one day this young lady joined our company. She is young and pretty, and we hit off quite well. Can talk about all sorts of random things, go buy lunch together, slack off at work together, and she basically don't mind talking anything with me.

Over time I found myself getting attracted to her, and I think she also noticed that she might have became too buddy buddy with me, so quite obvious she will distance herself Abit, me also think that way so I keep a respectful distance as well.

But somehow what should be the best outcome is now driving me crazy. I will start to wonder if she has got a bf or not, wonder why her messages are slow, wonder why she don't respond sometimes, and those feelings will start making my mood change, even at home. Sometimes I get into thking about all these nonsense then I sibeh no mood to spend time with kids, or just become very easily irritated with wife

I don't even know what is going on now. I just hope that things between me and this lady are like last time, just fun to be with and that's all. But why does this suddenly make me act like a teenager again and start to wonder about this wonder about that. I have my own family and although me and wife don't get along, it is still my duty to keep the family together.

Don't really know what else to add, just wondering if any bros here got any advise. Much appreciated

[fallen11]

Hi all. Been a lurker here for a long time liao.

Recently I have this issue, don't know who to talk to or how to even deal with it.

I have a wife but over the years her character began to show. Basically very self entitled and rude and the typical kiasu Sgrean type. Usually I just go thru with life lo what else to do. We got 2 kids together liao life just goes on.

Then one day this young lady joined our company. She is young and pretty, and we hit off quite well. Can talk about all sorts of random things, go buy lunch together, slack off at work together, and she basically don't mind talking anything with me.

Over time I found myself getting attracted to her, and I think she also noticed that she might have became too buddy buddy with me, so quite obvious she will distance herself Abit, me also think that way so I keep a respectful distance as well.

But somehow what should be the best outcome is now driving me crazy. I will start to wonder if she has got a bf or not, wonder why her messages are slow, wonder why she don't respond sometimes, and those feelings will start making my mood change, even at home. Sometimes I get into thking about all these nonsense then I sibeh no mood to spend time with kids, or just become very easily irritated with wife

I don't even know what is going on now. I just hope that things between me and this lady are like last time, just fun to be with and that's all. But why does this suddenly make me act like a teenager again and start to wonder about this wonder about that. I have my own family and although me and wife don't get along, it is still my duty to keep the family together.

Don't really know what else to add, just wondering if any bros here got any advise. Much appreciated

my advice is always
treat both parties as separate matters.

if u wanna divorce your wife, do so because u cant live together with her anymore. Not because there's a 3rd party.
What if the 3rd party dumps u in the end. Double loss? Dont think u want that.
If u cant bear with your wife anymore in your life, just divorce. Got girl no girl after that, u'll be happier.
Dont depend your future on someone else. Or u're going back to the same old miserable u.
About this new girl, treat her as something new after your divorce. If you cant even get thru divorce without any new girl, forget it.

Oh and this new girl make u feel like teenager again now?
Chances are your current wife also made u feel like this in the very beginning too.
High chance both also lead u to the same outcome in the end.
The key is: its not about them! its about u! What do u want? A fresh start to life? or no? That new girl may not be your fresh start. Dont ever divorce because of a 3rd party because very much u'll end up the same as before...
Divorce, only because u want to. Even with no girls in your life post divorce.

[TMNT99]

this sounds like the fortune teller typical "tao hua jie"". be careful

[mqman]

Hi all. Been a lurker here for a long time liao.

Recently I have this issue, don't know who to talk to or how to even deal with it.

I have a wife but over the years her character began to show. Basically very self entitled and rude and the typical kiasu Sgrean type. Usually I just go thru with life lo what else to do. We got 2 kids together liao life just goes on.

Then one day this young lady joined our company. She is young and pretty, and we hit off quite well. Can talk about all sorts of random things, go buy lunch together, slack off at work together, and she basically don't mind talking anything with me.

Over time I found myself getting attracted to her, and I think she also noticed that she might have became too buddy buddy with me, so quite obvious she will distance herself Abit, me also think that way so I keep a respectful distance as well.

But somehow what should be the best outcome is now driving me crazy. I will start to wonder if she has got a bf or not, wonder why her messages are slow, wonder why she don't respond sometimes, and those feelings will start making my mood change, even at home. Sometimes I get into thking about all these nonsense then I sibeh no mood to spend time with kids, or just become very easily irritated with wife

I don't even know what is going on now. I just hope that things between me and this lady are like last time, just fun to be with and that's all. But why does this suddenly make me act like a teenager again and start to wonder about this wonder about that. I have my own family and although me and wife don't get along, it is still my duty to keep the family together.

Don't really know what else to add, just wondering if any bros here got any advise. Much appreciated

Hi Bro,

i feel you and have gone through similar things.

as for leaving your wife, the kids factor is very important. so take note.

if u can learn to shut off ( just sleep seperately) and sacrifice for your kids.

As for your office girl, just be careful. its definitely a warm distraction from the stresses at home but it could turn into another drama later on ( and u'll find yourself in a worse position).

just use money to buy affection from FLs here and go home and be happy with your kids .

wishing you all the best!

[Boredpanda369]

Thanks bros for the advice.

It's tough to get her out of my mind. But visited geylang once already manage to get some out of my system haha

[tcc88]

Thanks bros for the advice.

It's tough to get her out of my mind. But visited geylang once already manage to get some out of my system haha

check out the FLs here as well. lots of good choices!

not to forget MLs as well!

Happy Cheonging!

one thing though, the more u " play it cold" with that female colleague, the more she'll want you.. just watch and see.

women love men that treat them badly.. its in their nature.

[owlette]

I don't even know what is going on now. I just hope that things between me and this lady are like last time, just fun to be with and that's all. But why does this suddenly make me act like a teenager again and start to wonder about this wonder about that. I have my own family and although me and wife don't get along, it is still my duty to keep the family together.

root cause of the reason why most guys cheat imo is they "found" what they dont have at home.

basically it seems like you start to feel annoyed by even the presence of your wife already. you probably avoid as much interaction as you can with her as well.

while this lady lets you feel what you feel is missing from home/a partner. can click, can talk, can hang out kind. thats why you start to want to spend more time with her so on so forth. you probably infatuated with this feeling that she gave you. she probably sensed you crossed some boundaries or like you mentioned too buddy buddy.

i would say its better that you maintain the existing relationship with the lady and not hope things go back to the way it was. you probably end up sinking deeper into this hole.

if you say you have kids and a duty to the family, then spend your effort there. even to the extent of trying to reconcile and talk things through with your wife.

got needs, go geylang, go ktv. settle go home be good husband/father.

unless you can forgo your wife/family, then you dont need to think anything further then this

[Boredpanda369]

Say easy la. But when her messages come that feeling to continue the conversation is so damn strong.

[rachelm]

Hi all. Been a lurker here for a long time liao.

Recently I have this issue, don't know who to talk to or how to even deal with it.

I have a wife but over the years her character began to show. Basically very self entitled and rude and the typical kiasu Sgrean type. Usually I just go thru with life lo what else to do. We got 2 kids together liao life just goes on.

Then one day this young lady joined our company. She is young and pretty, and we hit off quite well. Can talk about all sorts of random things, go buy lunch together, slack off at work together, and she basically don't mind talking anything with me.

Over time I found myself getting attracted to her, and I think she also noticed that she might have became too buddy buddy with me, so quite obvious she will distance herself Abit, me also think that way so I keep a respectful distance as well.

But somehow what should be the best outcome is now driving me crazy. I will start to wonder if she has got a bf or not, wonder why her messages are slow, wonder why she don't respond sometimes, and those feelings will start making my mood change, even at home. Sometimes I get into thking about all these nonsense then I sibeh no mood to spend time with kids, or just become very easily irritated with wife

I don't even know what is going on now. I just hope that things between me and this lady are like last time, just fun to be with and that's all. But why does this suddenly make me act like a teenager again and start to wonder about this wonder about that. I have my own family and although me and wife don't get along, it is still my duty to keep the family together.

Don't really know what else to add, just wondering if any bros here got any advise. Much appreciated

Emotional cheating. BAD...............

[Orio]

many fantasies will form in your head but always think about what will happen if you get caught, if you are fine with the consequences then go ahead :)