Why do you get married? Why have kids?

[Unrepented]

Hi Samsters,

I just can't commit to marriage:(. Not so much the fear of committment, but the reason to marry. And all the more I read about singles not planning to marry and seeing fellow collegues remaining single (both women and men) I start to wonder.

While increase number of couples who are married choose not to have kids nowadays.

With the influence of my job and to amuse myself:o, I began to analyze marriage as some from of business joint ventures between two entities, finding acquisition targets, marketing, negotiation, going thru valuation processes, integration of two cultures, mergering of resources, managing of finances, handling of disputes, stakeholders management etc. This perspective my mine disregarded the "human" side of things, but I do find parallels in the aforementioned with courtships and, I think marriage (which I have never been there).

I know there is no right or wrong, and had discussed this subject with those around me, and would like to widen the circle of opinions and thoughts.

1. Some regret marrying

2. Some begining to question their wisdom in getting married.

3. Some are happy with their decision and staying in cloud 9.

4. Some happy to have children while others regret.

Fellow male and female samsters;

Why do you want to marry or remain single? Why have kid and why not?

[naturegreen]

There's no right or wrong answer here. Just each individual's preference and wants. But the joy of having your own kids and setting up a family is indescribable until you experience it yourself, provided you love kids. Life itself is not a bed of roses, nobody said it was. :rolleyes:

[baccaratluck]

I think we might not be able to comprehend the full reasons to get married.....until we found someone we truly love & believed that will bring happiness in life.

[jimboi]

at this point of time in my life, i dun wanna get married yet... it's a full-time commitment... r/s is one thing and marriage is another... it's also a union of family, lifestyle and blah blah blah... still prefer my single lifestyle nw...:p

[xerolegacy]

well as life becomes more complex here in singapore, marriages and giving birth is becoming less and less important matter.

in the past where we have nothing much to do, people just marry and start giving birth as their
1. past time
2. more childrens to help them with farming etc etc..

but now, each of us have our distinct individual path to go and most of us will be spending 10-20over years of our lives studying.

We will automatically want to achieve something before we think of marriage as we do not want anything to hinder us(marriage/giving birth it requires us to put in a lot of time to manage them) while we are on the path of achieving success.


well different people sees life differently. of course there are people who put family as first priority and head advice by their parents - " get married and have baby and countinue our blood line!!!"

[Big Sexy]

i am from the old school.
i only have one girlfriend and she is my missus.
we have been together for more than 25 years now and
still enjoys each others company..

marriage was a natural thing for us..;)


Why do you want to marry or remain single?

[lovetorn]

different mindset, different thinking.

as of now, i don't see myself getting married in the near future. actually, i don't see myself getting married even when i am 30! but that's just because i haven't met the right guy to give me that thinking. i know that part of me wants to settle down when it's time to and have 2 kids max.

but...after surfing sbf for quite some time, i came to realise something. i know i'll get zapped by others here but it's what i think and feel. men can't be trusted. i know that i'm not a saint either, so if the guy doesn't mind my past, in what position am i to expect him to stay faithful to me. but sbf proves that 9 out of 10 married men, strays.

if ever a divorce is in the picture, having kids will just put a strain on the relationship. a couple can part amicably but when it comes to the custody of kids, things change.

so as for me, marriage is not completely out of my future. just got to wait till the right time and the right one comes.

[Cerberus]

It is very personal decision. Sometimes it is whether you met your destined other half.
To me, I still have a lot of places I haven't visit. Getting married would mean getting tied down.

[aakumu]

i am from the old school.
i only have one girlfriend and she is my missus.
we have been together for more than 25 years now and
still enjoys each others company..

marriage was a natural thing for us..;)

Hi bro,
How are you?
Marriage is all the above, but enjoying each others company the best.
A certain level of trust is offered and received.
I do not know what I would if mine better half left me.............:)
I have been married since 1969.

My humble two cents.

[ProfessorOokami]

....stay faithful to me. but sbf proves that 9 out of 10 married men, strays.



IMHO, this was a rather sweeping statement. You are counting on those who had posted in the SBF, which was set up with "cheongsters" in mind, thus you will find a lot of "strayed men" posting. What about counting in those who are not SBF members?? Those non-SBF and non-strays could be in the millions and your stats will be reduced to a mere 0.000001% of the population.

If a few strays worry you too much, my advice: stay away from MEN you will have less worries and less fear.

Marriage is still a hearsay to many unmarried ppl...Remember this: what you dont know, you tend to fear, what you tend to fear you tend to destroy. You need to understand fully the true meaning of such a commitment and the joy deriving from such life-long engagement.

[thaivisitor]

I've been married 3 times. No I'm not proud of it.

The first time can be considered a marriage of convenience. When we start to discuss about having kids, we decided that we were not really meant to be so finally we decided to separate. We got the same lawyer to handle it for us. We're still friends.

The second time can also be considered a marriage of convenience. She has a girl and we felt that she needs a father. Couldn't stand my mother-in-law. The fucking bitch made my life miserable. Discussed with my ex to get away as far as possible from her mother. Thought of migrating to Australia. Finances was not a problem but she decided to stand with her mom. Don't blame her for that but told her to get a lawyer. In fact recommended her my lawyer. No more contact but we're not enemies.

The present one is based on my decision. Not a marriage for convenience. She suits my requirements and we got married. Granted there were times of quarrels and disagreements. But when I looked at her and imagine my future, my retirement, I decided that this is the woman I want to share my life with. In terms of everything.

Kids? I have 3 boys, one which is a stepson who knows no other than me as the father. Headaches? Definitely! Tired? Surely! Regrets? None whatsoever! If I have to go thru again, I wouldn't want it to be any different. The same wife, the same kids.

Am I a faithful hubby? That depends on the definition of faithful. If faithful is a guy who only have sex with his wife, then I admit that I'm not. But if faithful means looking after only one family, then at this point of time, I am. (I admit I wasn't before as I had a couple of mistresses, but decided to cut off completely when I did the thinking of my future).

I would consider a guy to be faithful if he is committed to his family. I don't agree that if a guy strays (meaning look for commercial sex), he's considered unfaithful. That's my definition. Many may not agree, but that's just me. Too bad.

My 2 baht worth.
Tee Vee

[Unrepented]

Thus far, thank you for a good discussion and sharing of personal views and opinions, which there is no such thing as right or wrong when it is base on personal preferences.

And pleased to see participation of both genders in this subject.

What prompted me to create this thread was after reading another thread "The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?"

First thing that comes to my mind is "Does it mean no fish, prawn also can?"

Maybe a more appropriate phasing of my question would be (I try to edit the my first post):

What are the psychological and physical cravings that motivates individual to marriage and procreate???

Moving forward and for premption, I hope we can agree to disagree without being offensive or laying judgement on individual characters when none of us are perfect.

From the afore posts, members mentioned the pros and cons of marriage. I just wonder if the same given ends can be achieved without being "married". Again, what is the definition of marriage. A member did try to provide his definition as "all of the above" and I believe more.

As a saying goes "How do you explain the colour of blue to a blind man/woman". Well, I guess this is the difficult part. I just hope that the views and opinions builds on this subject and hopefully, something may jolt a readers philosophy and make positive improvements in life.

[Unrepented]

[QUOTE=lovetorn;4207855]

but...after surfing sbf for quite some time, i came to realise something. i know i'll get zapped by others here but it's what i think and feel. men can't be trusted.

i know that i'm not a saint either, so if the guy doesn't mind my past, in what position am i to expect him to stay faithful to me.

but sbf proves that 9 out of 10 married men, strays.

QUOTE]

Well, since I joined this forum, I have been zapped by whoever for whatever:rolleyes:

Nobody is a saint and everyone has skeletons in their own closets. It take alot of heart and courage to recognise and be true to ourselves. Remember that there's lyric in an english song "And who am I to judge you?" "Sometimes when we touch, the honesty too much...." Can't remember the name of the song.

Lastly, correction; out of 10, 9.5 strays;) I know I will get zap for this too, but I just standby what I have seen and experienced (not heard from someone) in my life up till now.

[Oralcraz]

I would consider a guy to be faithful if he is committed to his family. I don't agree that if a guy strays (meaning look for commercial sex), he's considered unfaithful. That's my definition. Many may not agree, but that's just me. Too bad.
Tee Vee

That's what I feel too. No KC when come to commercial sex. Commitment to family is a duty and a responsibility ..... no matter what.

[Cheonging101]

The reasons for the question is as varied as why someone love a particular person.

So, all you need to know, is the answer to the Meaning of Love.

To know the Meaning of Love, you just need to know the Meaning of Life.

Very easy! Go find out! Good luck! Next question, please!:p

[Oralcraz]

men can't be trusted. i know that i'm not a saint either, so if the guy doesn't mind my past, in what position am i to expect him to stay faithful to me. but sbf proves that 9 out of 10 married men, strays.


Not quite agree with the numbers. There are many married men that don't stray. I have a feel friends who have good relationship with wifey, they don't even go for a massage.....cos wifey takes care of all their needs.
Don't be too pessimistic and having negative mentality about trust with men. Men can be trusted. There are many husbands who take good care of their families. Trust is something that cannot be bought, neither is it a gift, neither is it an obligation or character or personality. Trust between husband and wife must be built, developed and nutured...and it has to be between two persons.
Good luck.

[itsabt6x]

well, for me.....if i can turn back the clock...i wouldn't want to get married.....:o

[toy811]

My feel is that as long as you can get past your own conscious, you are fine. Living with regrets is the worst la... If you can get past yourself married and go out with other women, different people different standards...

[salacity]

I got married partly due to compulsion. Although it sucks sometimes I have no regrets. In fact I would add that it is a necessary progress in life.

[Bangster]

Aiyah...think so much for what..

For me, very simple.

Dont think too much, I love her, she loves me, heck, get married lah.

Want kids? Let nature takes its course lah. When they come, they come.

I hate to plan too much. Impulsive person.

But that's just me.

[lovetorn]

IMHO, this was a rather sweeping statement. You are counting on those who had posted in the SBF, which was set up with "cheongsters" in mind, thus you will find a lot of "strayed men" posting. What about counting in those who are not SBF members?? Those non-SBF and non-strays could be in the millions and your stats will be reduced to a mere 0.000001% of the population.

If a few strays worry you too much, my advice: stay away from MEN you will have less worries and less fear.

i agree that i came up with my conclusion based on those who frequent SBF. i know that there are quite a number of men who are committed to their families, faithful to their wives and never stray. but perhaps it's because most of the guys/men in my life are those that play the field.

if i can bring myself to stay away from men, i will. but sadly, i can't. the thrill and excitement that comes with being with a man is just too good to miss out on. afterall, women are made for men and vice versa.

[r_tiger]

To Lovetorn,

As what another bro has said... u are looking at the wrong place to come up with your conclusion... its like saying u visit the clinic and conclude that 9 out of 10 people are sick people.

As for finding the right men, are you searching at the right place? if u are at a place where all the guys are out partying and looking for ONS...

Well if human do decide to stop getting married.... then it will be the end of the world. I think this is becos we are getting more self-centered. "I" and only "I" come first. "I" will only do things that benefit me.

Yap I have lots of friends who decide to be single or married but no kids. As they 1 the freedom, to do what they 1 and not report 2 any1. Since life is so stressful why make things so difficult by having kids... already have problem earning enof $ for myself, how to have kids... etc

As for me... hmm, anythings goes, I am a happy go lucky guy... dun have any regrets getting married and having 3 beautiful kids... if I can turn back time, I will do it all over again. The only regrets I have is I didnt go out with any gals till its too late... As I was afraid that I will bonk all of them and my conscious tell me not to do it... :-p

[Cheonging101]

afterall, women are made for men and vice versa.

Err.... I'm sure there are many katoey lovers, gays, lesbians and ladyboys who would disagree with that statement...

[Xdecepticon]

well, for me.....if i can turn back the clock...i wouldn't want to get married.....:o

Cant agree with u more.

Love is Blind. Marriage opens our eye....:o:(

[lovetorn]

Err.... I'm sure there are many katoey lovers, gays, lesbians and ladyboys who would disagree with that statement...

god created holes in women and sticks in men. that's the whole idea of bringing 2 together. but of course, some others choose to go against this natural flow. still, the initial idea was for men and women to complete each other.

i know that it's wrong of me to come to my conclusion just based on SBF. but men around me, including my dad, brother and uncles, are just showing me otherwise. i still have faith in men though. i don't want to search for the right guy yet. as of now, i just want to have fun and enjoy life.

[starcrosser]

Marry her cos i want to be with her.

Have kid cos accident in oversea trip don't wanna murder life.

[canI1you]

Nowsaday, which man don't stray? 1 out of 10?
Does that make them don't care about their family? 2 out of 10?
So does it matter if man stray or not?

Marriage means 2 persons getting putting up together and compromising each other habit. If putting up with their parent, that makes 3-4 comcomprising their habits. If can't even able to comcomprise 2 persons habits, then forget about marriage. Don't need even to say their parent.

Kids are the responsibility of their parent. You bring them to earth, you have to take good care of them. Don't ever think of having kids to salvage marriage. How many get this workout right? Almost none. This may initially helps however long run still back to square one.

TS, since you like to think, why not put yourself 30 years older and think back. You will know what you need and what decision to make. Ms Lovetorn, do the same too.

[canI1you]

Have kid cos accident in oversea trip don't wanna murder life.

Yes you can say that and that voice down to responsibility. :D

[lightning]

For me it seems that i probably cannot live without sex, but i would like to find a nice woman with good character for comfort of companionship. But kids as i said somewhere before, they can be a headache, heartache and "money"ache. Having kids is my last thing, i would ever think of.

Kids nowadays are hard to control and fiancially have to work my ass out to support. Last time i used to think how nice is to have a small family, perharps the disappointing facts around me changed my mind as i grow older.

Only fewer percentage of ppl i am seeing around having a happy family. This requires the combined efforts of parents to make the family works. difference of ideas on how to bring up and displincine of children is a also a headache.

Kids nowadays you have to monitor them from young till u old. Take care of them when they are still babies and wake up in middle of night to coax them to sleep. Dispiline them for doing a lot of naughty, not doing homeworking, noisy, fighting etc. In their teens, the "nightmare" part, have to monitor them closely, afraid they become "school gansters" pick up fight, smoking, drop out, take drugs and worst, afraid that they become parents too early:eek: Older a bit have to worry if they get into university and fork out lots of money to local or even oversea Uni. Then later have to worry if they get into suitable jobs. Old alreadly worry that if they will pass us around like human ball or put us in old folk dumping ground.

In Sinkapore, cost of living is so high that everyone becomes the working slaves or perharps money making machines to the garment. Lame garment offered some "candies" to coax the younger generations to reproduce more:rolleyes:(maybe more money making machines perharps) The cost of living is so high that the majority of us can only afford to have 2 children the maximum. Why 2 kids enough as most of the sinkaporeans have average of 2K salary, which is just enough for one child per person. And also 2 is just nice as the chlid have companionship & take care of one another and what if "touch wood" one child pass away due to accident or sickness. Still got another one to depend on.

Bear in mind that majority of us with the stagant salary level and expenses keeps rising by the inconsiderate and greedy garment. To have a third child is alraedly putting finacial stress on the family.

[Oralcraz]

.....
Kids nowadays ......
In Sinkapore, cost of living is so high that everyone becomes the working slaves ...... finacial stress on the family.

Agreed. Upbringing a child is not easy emotionally, physically and financially. Don't forget to include tuition, extra activities (music etc etc). Unless we are not good father, everything don't care, then that's simple ..... but ..... am sure majority are responsible. Cost of living is one of the main reason why I don't want more kids. "Baby bonus" really doesn't help in my opinion. Good luck.

[HCKing]

god created holes in women and sticks in men. that's the whole idea of bringing 2 together. but of course, some others choose to go against this natural flow. still, the initial idea was for men and women to complete each other.

i know that it's wrong of me to come to my conclusion just based on SBF. but men around me, including my dad, brother and uncles, are just showing me otherwise. i still have faith in men though. i don't want to search for the right guy yet. as of now, i just want to have fun and enjoy life.

'man not bad, woman dont love'. some girls love bad guys cos they r fun to be with but yet expect them to be faithful? in life u cant have the best of both worlds, be realistic in yr expectations and u will find someone who can give u trust n love one day.

[lightning]

Agreed. Upbringing a child is not easy emotionally, physically and financially. Don't forget to include tuition, extra activities (music etc etc). Unless we are not good father, everything don't care, then that's simple ..... but ..... am sure majority are responsible. Cost of living is one of the main reason why I don't want more kids. "Baby bonus" really doesn't help in my opinion. Good luck.

Yeah the candies give out by garment does not helps in the long run:rolleyes:. In other countries like mlysia, there are more young couples get married and have kids by age of 25. here raising kids can bring emotional and finacial stress....

[ah_heng81]

Got married because i love her and she loves me more than i love her @ that point of time and not to forget the baby in her stomach. haha . And after married and the birth of our boy, i found that i love her even more. Maybe i should say having a kid really change my life and make me a happier person , although it was a nightmare having to wake up middle of the night to attend to his needs.

When our boy was around 2 years old , my wife suddenly change and started to telling me she regret getting married early and losing her freedom so i told her to do whatever she wants and i can handle our kid myself. Till late last year something happened while she was out enjoying , she suddenly change again and became a very homely person and always there to take care of us.

Think my 3 to 4 years wait is quite worth while :)

[naturegreen]

When our boy was around 2 years old , my wife suddenly change and started to telling me she regret getting married early and losing her freedom so i told her to do whatever she wants and i can handle our kid myself. Till late last year something happened while she was out enjoying , she suddenly change again and became a very homely person and always there to take care of us.

Think my 3 to 4 years wait is quite worth while :)

Bro, you are a great man! Let me salute you for that. :p I bet the rest on something happened is for us to imagine?

Marriage is when a man and woman becomes as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

[ah_heng81]

Bro, you are a great man! Let me salute you for that. :p I bet the rest on something happened is for us to imagine?

Marriage is when a man and woman becomes as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Haha, nothing to imagine lor, just that my son was really sick and i didnt bother to inform her and settle it myself. Bring see doc and feed medcine only mah... simple job. :)

[lightning]

Haha, nothing to imagine lor, just that my son was really sick and i didnt bother to inform her and settle it myself. Bring see doc and feed medcine only mah... simple job. :)

Guess it is women s' nature to get worried when someting happen to the kid and start regerting or get gulity why they din take care of their kids well and change their concepts. agreed that getting married early and have kids soon will make the parent stay at home more.

[StillLearning]

different mindset, different thinking.

as of now, i don't see myself getting married in the near future. actually, i don't see myself getting married even when i am 30! but that's just because i haven't met the right guy to give me that thinking. i know that part of me wants to settle down when it's time to and have 2 kids max.

but...after surfing sbf for quite some time, i came to realise something. i know i'll get zapped by others here but it's what i think and feel. men can't be trusted. i know that i'm not a saint either, so if the guy doesn't mind my past, in what position am i to expect him to stay faithful to me. but sbf proves that 9 out of 10 married men, strays.

if ever a divorce is in the picture, having kids will just put a strain on the relationship. a couple can part amicably but when it comes to the custody of kids, things change.

so as for me, marriage is not completely out of my future. just got to wait till the right time and the right one comes.

With respect, I believe that your allegation that 9 out of 10 men stray is overly sweeping.

After our third child was born, and my spouse was negatively affected by post-partum blues, she gave me permission to seek other ladies. But I told her that I rather spent those few hundred $ on presents for her or something nice for her.

We have known each other for almost 20 years, and married for almost 15 years. So far so good.

[StillLearning]

i am from the old school.
i only have one girlfriend and she is my missus.
we have been together for more than 25 years now and
still enjoys each others company..

marriage was a natural thing for us..;)

Congratulations.
Thank you for the good informative posts from you.

[Xdecepticon]

Getting married is one thing. Having children?? U better start doing ur calculation right!

In Sillypore, everything is going up! Cost of living, rising propertie$, maintaining kid$ etc etc etc! If both parents not earning $10K a mth, u can forget about having children. And tat too provided tat u r guaranteed not thrown out of job! :rolleyes:

With so many FT in Sillypore, taking our ricebowl (personal experience), and no gurarantee our jobs are stable/secure cos any moment we can be told to leave, do u guys still tink u can afford to marry and HAVE CHILDREN?? :eek:

[ah_heng81]

Getting married is one thing. Having children?? U better start doing ur calculation right!

In Sillypore, everything is going up! Cost of living, rising propertie$, maintaining kid$ etc etc etc! If both parents not earning $10K a mth, u can forget about having children. And tat too provided tat u r guaranteed not thrown out of job! :rolleyes:

With so many FT in Sillypore, taking our ricebowl (personal experience), and no gurarantee our jobs are stable/secure cos any moment we can be told to leave, do u guys still tink u can afford to marry and HAVE CHILDREN?? :eek:

No doubt money plays a important part of everyone's life, but we dont really need $10K a mth to have kids and maintaining the family. Its all depends on how we manage our money. My wife and i have a combine take home pay of abt 6k per mth and i think we live quite happily with it. Other than PUB bills (knn at least 250/mth) and other bills, the only loan we have to service is our housing (by cpf) and car loan and we can still afford to go on overseas trips once or twice a year. :)

One thing i really do agree is nowadays no jobs are secure, you not happy work, boss go employ someone cheaper and better in eduction.:mad:

[Xdecepticon]

One thing i really do agree is nowadays no jobs are secure, you not happy work, boss go employ someone cheaper and better in eduction.:mad:

U tink $10K is alot? U know wat they mean by $ave it for a rainy damn day? U juz need to put aside some of the $urplu$ cos if u work and stay in Sillypore, ur job$ r never stable and secure. Remember..when u r out of job, so is ur CPF. And where is ur $aving cos u need to top up ur loan in hard cash.

[lightning]

U tink $10K is alot? U know wat they mean by $ave it for a rainy damn day? U juz need to put aside some of the $urplu$ cos if u work and stay in Sillypore, ur job$ r never stable and secure. Remember..when u r out of job, so is ur CPF. And where is ur $aving cos u need to top up ur loan in hard cash.

Chinese banquet plus honeymoon throw $$$, buying a lovenest HDB (inclusive renovation, furniture, bills etc.) flat near half a million gone, raising up kids (buy baby stuffs to textbook etc.) also money bleeding.

Basically in Sinkapore, garment plans all these to make sure we work our asses our entire lives. The policies are made to protect comapnies than to citizens' interests. bringing FT in is to create "the fittest survives" environment to force locals to improve and also learn skills and experinces from FT.

[lightning]

After our third child was born, and my spouse was negatively affected by post-partum blues, she gave me permission to seek other ladies. But I told her that I rather spent those few hundred $ on presents for her or something nice for her.

We have known each other for almost 20 years, and married for almost 15 years. So far so good.

U hav my respect:D:p

this woman really deserve ur affection

[canI1you]

No doubt money plays a important part of everyone's life, but we dont really need $10K a mth to have kids and maintaining the family. Its all depends on how we manage our money. My wife and i have a combine take home pay of abt 6k per mth and i think we live quite happily with it. Other than PUB bills (knn at least 250/mth) and other bills, the only loan we have to service is our housing (by cpf) and car loan and we can still afford to go on overseas trips once or twice a year. :)

One thing i really do agree is nowadays no jobs are secure, you not happy work, boss go employ someone cheaper and better in eduction.:mad:

$6k couple with no kids, have house, car and can go twice a year holiday. Possible but must also be quite thrifty.

Let’s take your case as an example. Car loan assuming you drive a 2,000cc car that you are paying a monthly instalment of $1,000. Petrol, car park, ERP, road tax, car insurance est. another $1,200. PUB, Phone, cable TV, broadband, insurance est. $500. Grocery, entertainment, dinning est. $800. Personal Insurance and lunch in weekdays est. $1,000. Credit card bills and giving to parents est. $1,200. The total amount spend est is $5,700 and balance $300. If you include buying of 4D, Toto, soccer, cigarette and clubbing that don't seem enough. Unless you are driving a 1,200cc car, credit cards bill at $500 and not giving to parent, that might save you another $1,000 + $700 + bal $300 = $2,000. Yes, gambling, smoking and clubbing still have some balance for trips.

Let take for example if a combine income of $10k minus of CPF is $8,000. Do you think is enough to own a 2000cc car, with maid, gambling, smoking, clubbing, holiday trips and saving?

Tough! What if you have 2 kids? A tin of 900g milk powder is est. $15 that may last 5 days for baby. Diaper on avg 40cents a piece and avg the usage for baby is 6 pieces and that is $2.40. Just these 2 items for a month is $162. Looks quite ok right? Because things like wipes, oilment, powder, lotion, body shampoo, etc still not included. What about first time become parent you need to buy clothings, stroller, walker, baby cot, latex or coconut mattress, bed sheet, etc... Also medical checkups from first week, 1 months, 3 months, 6 months etc until I also lost count. All these are money needed. Don't forget to buy insurance for kids that will added in another $200 plus or so for 1 kid. By the time they are ready for nursery education, the kid’s bill will go up and up and up and never come down.

Well, once you have earn that much, you will want to give the best to your kids and all because you take the responsibility but it is not easy in Sillypore. Avg middle income take home pay is about $3k so do you think is enough? Everything is possible and depending what you want to give to your kids. Holiday trips...can postpone liao...

For those who have kids, happy parenting... you know I know too.

[yvesloh]

don't know leh. No point getting married when you can boink anywhere. Why give up a really good thing for a second rated thing? :(

[D_Silver]

At my old work place, I was rather amazed that a Malay bro can feed his homemaker wife + 3 kids with his 2-2.5K salary. Kinda put things into perspective for me.

[Xdecepticon]

23-10-2009 05:49 AM Wrong! you need at least 30K to maintain a family and for others expenses! You think 30K is a lot?! No 30K is too little!

Was zapped by a retard who got no balls to leave his nick behind! :mad: U might as well put the figure as 3 Million. :rolleyes:

[Xdecepticon]

Chinese banquet plus honeymoon throw $$$, buying a lovenest HDB (inclusive renovation, furniture, bills etc.) flat near half a million gone, raising up kids (buy baby stuffs to textbook etc.) also money bleeding.

Basically in Sinkapore, garment plans all these to make sure we work our asses our entire lives. The policies are made to protect comapnies than to citizens' interests. bringing FT in is to create "the fittest survives" environment to force locals to improve and also learn skills and experinces from FT.

Wat worries me most is the job I am holding. Even with 10k salary a mth, its juz a figure cos I never know how long my $alary can last. Anytime I can be told to leave. Everywhere, fm hospital, kopitiam, banks to even telco customer service etc etc, all are F/T! Now can u imagine how our kids future gonna be like?

Agreed! Basically garment protect the foreign cos. Earn corporate tax fm them. Its good to improve or upgrade ourselves. But can we guaranteed a job? Till 55 or 62? Like during our parents time? Furthermore foreign co rather employ their own nationality 1st.

[ah-ah]

i don't believe in marriage because i can never trust women due to bad experiences. I've come to the conclusion that my love life really sux big time after few bad relationship previously.

marriage has always been a question mark for me as well, i've got to admit i lack the courage to even try it now, partly due to financial status and 2ndly due to the lack of trust in my partner.

women are not only trouble as time gets along, even if they themselves aren't too troublesome, people around her is a hassle as well, simply put they are only good when we need them for sex and only sex, things gets very complicated when they think they're smarter then u and try to take over control and even wanna control you!

yes call me a MCP but i don't give a fcuk becoz all along i still believe and faithfully think that women is always kay-kiang-ing which resulted in many issue unresolved.

may it be men or women, kiang tio ho mai k kiang and don't ever never try to control your other half!


the 1 and only reason i would get married is i make sure this person can last with me till either one of us die, if not i rather not get married at all. Kids is only for fun and carry on the family bloodline, if i were to be like my parents or the older generation who gave birth in hope that someone will take care of them in the future i find it real blardy selfish. If u expect children to take care of you in the future then take care of them when they r young or else the cycle will never be full!

[asspanker]

IMHO,

im somehow from the old school of thought that marriage is a stage in our lives. and to start and have a family, children is also part of that cycle.

If not we work so hard, buy a big/ small/ comfy house, drive cars. in the end, when we arrive home, its only 4 walls. And NOTHING else without a family..

that to me doesnt sound warm and nice at all.. again its just a personal opinion of mine, please dont take offense if you dont agree.

Granted in our country, its really not easy to bring up children. Be it rising child birth costs, education, etc blah blah. But still if our parents thought the same way as that, then there wont be many of us born anyway..


For me, marriage is a very responsible duty to uphold. Of course there are many perks and many responsibilites. When we took the vows, we are actually swearing to take care of 1 anoter in health or sickness. Whether we are rich or poor, there should only be one person we must all remember in our hearts when we said that.

[oldghost]

hihi, my answer

1) shotgun
2) please refer to first question

heard of families combine income less than 2 k, they still got several kids... and go oversea tour yearly (malaysia, indonesia vietnam etc ) when their kids started working, USA, France, England etc

heard of couples combined earning 7k and above still no accomplishment ( spend all the $$ on sliming session, beauty products and cigarettes and alcohol )

my stand, if you dun wan kids, dun get married in the first place.
having kids - priceless x infinity

stray - man tends to stray phusically
- women tends to stay mentally
not much difference leh.....

[crowleyking]

a man can love a woman (he respects her)

but he can fuck other women (just seeing them as merely tools to satisfy their temporary lust/heat)

[thaivisitor]

Kids nowadays you have to monitor them from young till u old. Take care of them when they are still babies and wake up in middle of night to coax them to sleep. Dispiline them for doing a lot of naughty, not doing homeworking, noisy, fighting etc. In their teens, the "nightmare" part, have to monitor them closely, afraid they become "school gansters" pick up fight, smoking, drop out, take drugs and worst, afraid that they become parents too early:eek: Older a bit have to worry if they get into university and fork out lots of money to local or even oversea Uni. Then later have to worry if they get into suitable jobs. Old alreadly worry that if they will pass us around like human ball or put us in old folk dumping ground.


How true!

And I love every bit of that.

Cheers
Tee Vee

[thaivisitor]

i don't believe in marriage because i can never trust women due to bad experiences. I've come to the conclusion that my love life really sux big time after few bad relationship previously.

marriage has always been a question mark for me as well, i've got to admit i lack the courage to even try it now, partly due to financial status and 2ndly due to the lack of trust in my partner.

women are not only trouble as time gets along, even if they themselves aren't too troublesome, people around her is a hassle as well, simply put they are only good when we need them for sex and only sex, things gets very complicated when they think they're smarter then u and try to take over control and even wanna control you!

yes call me a MCP but i don't give a fcuk becoz all along i still believe and faithfully think that women is always kay-kiang-ing which resulted in many issue unresolved.

may it be men or women, kiang tio ho mai k kiang and don't ever never try to control your other half!


the 1 and only reason i would get married is i make sure this person can last with me till either one of us die, if not i rather not get married at all. Kids is only for fun and carry on the family bloodline, if i were to be like my parents or the older generation who gave birth in hope that someone will take care of them in the future i find it real blardy selfish. If u expect children to take care of you in the future then take care of them when they r young or else the cycle will never be full!

So make up your mind,

to marry or not to marry?

Cheers
Tee Vee

[ah_heng81]

Its how we manage our $ and what kind of lifestyle that you want to have. I may feel comfortable with what me and my wife earn but some bro here may feel its not enough :)