Eligible but always rejected.

[Aesthetic]

I felt that I always have issue getting into a exclusive relationship with the opposite gender.

At 22 years old, intelligent and physically attractive, my dates with the opposite gender never transcend beyond the initial physical attraction.

Take the recent girl who rejected me a few months back, she never rejected my dates and her replies to me were almost always instant, although, granted that I was always the one initiating texts and dates. We flirted over texts regularly but the moment I confessed, I was rejected. We went out a couple of times-6times-over a course of few months; silence are common on our date since I am aware she can't measure up to my intellectual capacity, so I settled to listening to her go about her families, friends and work. Well, I'm fine with it. I listen to her rants abouts work frustrations and stress. I pay for dates, and even after they got attached, I ended up having to pay for their due share if we happened to went out. Experiencing a few rejection consecutively from different girls frustrates me a lot and I find myself viewing the opposite gender in a misogynistic lens; consequentially because I do not know what is it that I'm lacking or doing wrong even after evaluation and post-factum reference to my dating patterns. These girls whom I've went out with on a date aren't top models, in any, just your average Jane. She did once complain that she find it difficult to talk to me because I was too 'deep'. Sometime after rejection, I asked what was the cause that lead to my rejection and all I got was "you're nice but you need some luck". Typical clinch bullshit. Could the reason be because I lack skills in playing the dating game? I intuit that effort no longer count for as much as someone who is skilled at playing the dating game. It seems like I could spend months of effort and yet fail whereas some guys would need only to spend a month or two just to get into a relationship.


I want to do something about it. I hate being in the position whereby some other guys enter the picture midway into my pursue after the girl, or, having to see the girl date some other guy shortly after I've been rejected. Its a bitter feeling. Its a recurring pattern which always happened to me and I'm frustrated. I'm not looking to win her back because given my anger at the rejector, coupled with my pride, I would never accept a relationship with anyone who rejected me. I've been diagnosed with melancholy depression and this is one of the issues at play that which is affecting me. I can't get over the fact that I've been failing.

[DegenerationX]

We went out a couple of times-6times-over a course of few months; silence are common on our date since I am aware she can't measure up to my intellectual capacity, so I settled to listening to her go about her families, friends and work.

She did once complain that she find it difficult to talk to me because I was too 'deep'. Sometime after rejection, I asked what was the cause that lead to my rejection and all I got was "you're nice but you need some luck". Typical clinch bullshit.

See those i bold. u think u are very intelligent and the gal cant match up to you. This by itself shows me u are overconfident or even arrogant. Confidence and overconfidence is just a thin line of difference.

Silence on dates are big taboo. The date itself becomes boring. Who wants togo on a boring date?

Always listening to gals talking is also a big taboo. Gals like guys who can chat up with them and hold the conversation.

And lastly, gals don't like nice guys.....That's not bullshit, its absolutely true.

[geckoSG]

Gals hate guys that are proud & over-confident & of course arrogant.
Vice versa. Some people easily mis-interprete messages and gets offended
easily. So you need to know what's wrong during your conversations...

But if you dun communicate well and makes the gal feel boring, then its
up the lorry... Gals like guys who make them feel happy, laugh and comfy.

Of cos, there are some who lacks sense of humour...

Good luck to you TS...

[arsenal_84]

And lastly, gals don't like nice guys.....That's not bullshit, its absolutely true.

that's why i stop being nice last year...feels a lot better having turned to the dark side :D
guess i had enough of them stepping over my head with insensitive comments.

[Aesthetic]

See those i bold. u think u are very intelligent and the gal cant match up to you. This by itself shows me u are overconfident or even arrogant. Confidence and overconfidence is just a thin line of difference.

Silence on dates are big taboo. The date itself becomes boring. Who wants togo on a boring date?

Always listening to gals talking is also a big taboo. Gals like guys who can chat up with them and hold the conversation.

And lastly, gals don't like nice guys.....That's not bullshit, its absolutely true.

I might sound crude that is a matter of fact.

What do you suggest? Its not helping that I'm sinking further into depression whenever I think of my constant failure in this area. My friends have suggested me to tone down on my intellect, and I've been making efforts to.
Also, I've just been posted to as an NSF to RP(trainee). What is the nature of the vocation. I am on current medical review, excuse stay in, excuse firearms and explosives for a month.

[Aesthetic]

Gals hate guys that are proud & over-confident & of course arrogant.
Vice versa. Some people easily mis-interprete messages and gets offended
easily. So you need to know what's wrong during your conversations...

But if you dun communicate well and makes the gal feel boring, then its
up the lorry... Gals like guys who make them feel happy, laugh and comfy.

Of cos, there are some who lacks sense of humour...

Good luck to you TS...

You're getting the wrong impression. I know I'm intelligent but I do not impress upon her as being more superior. I find it difficult to find interest in taking about the usual family, friends, and more general topics. What are some ways I can improve. What is also wrong with being nice (I'm not a pushover).

[alan0338]

TS, i remember u are the one whom i need to use dictionary to be able to understand ur posts la and dun like the smiley here.. :D
the gal is rite, u really too deep aka chim aka profound aka difficult to understand....:D
make things simpler for the gals or ur frens la, talk cock when necessary, lighten things up, u will be fine, given ur intelligence + army education in tcss, sure bo problem to do tat,good luck :D

p/s dun talk to me, i dun wan to use dictionary :D

[Aesthetic]

TS, i remember u are the one whom i need to use dictionary to be able to understand ur posts la and dun like the smiley here.. :D
the gal is rite, u really too deep aka chim aka profound aka difficult to understand....:D
make things simpler for the gals or ur frens la, talk cock when necessary, lighten things up, u will be fine, given ur intelligence + army education in tcss, sure bo problem to do tat,good luck :D

p/s dun talk to me, i dun wan to use dictionary :D

But I do not talk to her about topics which are overly abstract. Its disheartening whenever I see girls whom I was interested get together with guys who aren't great in any aspects.

[gotcraft30]

bro, i think you need to tone down the way you think because it will also show in your actions and the way you talk. It doesn't mean you stop being intelligent but try not to be too haughty about your intellect vs theirs. Maybe you should ask yourself what is it that the other guy have that I don't? That might help things out a bit.

At any rate, girls around your age wants a guy who is fun and cheeky to be with and not intellectually stimulating. If you notice most girls want "humor" as one of the characteristics. Oh yes (only do this if you want to have fun), being a bastard helps... I have seen countless women falling for guys like that. My personal count when i was Mr Nice Guy is zero, but when I am Mr Asshole 15. Even Wayne Rooney is not scoring that many goals...

Worse comes to worse, try reading Neil Strauss' books. Some of the tricks really work.

[LF1012]

On a surface level, seems that your problem is High IQ, Low EQ. You think too much, what you think about I would have no idea.

Be silly, be spontaenous, be humorous, be sensitive, be gruff, be a dumbass, be embarassed.

Don't hear but not listen.

Gals like to share feelings and have empathy, that's why they talk 7 times as much as guys. They don't actively look to solve their problems, but more on getting it out so they don't have to bottle it inside. Share with them your similar experience or extend your empathy towards them. Or at the other end, involve her in something else that makes her forget them when with you. ( Mind you, girls like to go out with me cos I am able to make them laugh all the time with silly comments and introspective views, but still, bugger it, more slip thro than not. Can't be lucky all the time I guess :( )


Don't look but not see.

This is hard to describe. Observe and pay attention to her expressions, dressings, moods. Compliment her when you think she looks good in a particular dressing, or when she styles her hair a certain way. Comment to her on how her feel is, eg - her appearance todays seems light hearted, joyful, energetic.

I have not been in the relationship scene a long long time but I hope the above still applies.

[Aesthetic]

I think moderator has to do something about the deduction of points. Why are my points deducted? Put down your name bunch of wussies.

[Aesthetic]

On a surface level, seems that your problem is High IQ, Low EQ. You think too much, what you think about I would have no idea.

Be silly, be spontaenous, be humorous, be sensitive, be gruff, be a dumbass, be embarassed.

Don't hear but not listen.

Gals like to share feelings and have empathy, that's why they talk 7 times as much as guys. They don't actively look to solve their problems, but more on getting it out so they don't have to bottle it inside. Share with them your similar experience or extend your empathy towards them. Or at the other end, involve her in something else that makes her forget them when with you. ( Mind you, girls like to go out with me cos I am able to make them laugh all the time with silly comments and introspective views, but still, bugger it, more slip thro than not. Can't be lucky all the time I guess :( )


Don't look but not see.

This is hard to describe. Observe and pay attention to her expressions, dressings, moods. Compliment her when you think she looks good in a particular dressing, or when she styles her hair a certain way. Comment to her on how her feel is, eg - her appearance todays seems light hearted, joyful, energetic.

I have not been in the relationship scene a long long time but I hope the above still applies.

Could that be the problem? I don't compliment, nor do I engage in minor and superficial physical touches. I feel disoriented. It seems I no longer can distinguish what are the genuine signs and what are not. What I cannot come to a closure is their refusal to tell me in the face that they are uninterested in me when it is the case that they have known in the initial phase that I am interested in them and hence, my asking them out on a date. The impression I am under is that they want to enjoy the meals up to the point when I confess. I see a difference in the attitude of females when I am half-drunk in the club and when I'm not under the influence of alcoholic beverages. In the former, getting the girls and their contacts is just too easy. Does the bad boy image plays a part? I'm really starting to feel misogynistic.

[LF1012]

You are starting to feel and sound like the dude in A Beautiful Mind.

Emotions are illogical and can't be quantified. To approach it in a calculated or precise manner is not going to work well. They are girls, they think, feel, act differently from us dudes. I have no idea why they like flowers, but you know that they are going to be happy when they are given them, so I give them flowers.

Don't look too much into why, be Nike.

Just Do It.

[GDX11]

Ladies like to be sought after. Granted.

But usually upon hinting my interest, I will play alilttle hot & cold and gradually make her like me. I wont be dating her and all ... while I'm the only one trying to get things working. Well, there's no one size fits all approach but I always like to advise this ..

It's not about YOU LOVING HER (all the guys kept reiterate this), it's about how to make them like you... KC THEM.

Don't be too stuck up with your self-confessed superior intellectual capacity. It can be sexy to some and arrogance to another.

[Aesthetic]

Ladies like to be sought after. Granted.

But usually upon hinting my interest, I will play alilttle hot & cold and gradually make her like me. I wont be dating her and all ... while I'm the only one trying to get things working. Well, there's no one size fits all approach but I always like to advise this ..

It's not about YOU LOVING HER (all the guys kept reiterate this), it's about how to make them like you... KC THEM.

Don't be too stuck up with your self-confessed superior intellectual capacity. It can be sexy to some and arrogance to another.

I already said my intellect isn't an issue because I don't flaunt it. I take on an egalitarian stand and I see her as on par with me. I don't know what's wrong and its really frustrating!

[DegenerationX]

But I do not talk to her about topics which are overly abstract. Its disheartening whenever I see girls whom I was interested get together with guys who aren't great in any aspects.

This is one big aspect of you that needs to be changed. What makes you think those guys aren't great in any aspects :cool:

Just becos those guys aren't as intelligent or physically attractive as you? You seriously need to change ur haughtiness/overconfidence/arrogant.....

[Aesthetic]

This is one big aspect of you that needs to be changed. What makes you think those guys aren't great in any aspects :cool:

Just becos those guys aren't as intelligent or physically attractive as you? You seriously need to change ur haughtiness/overconfidence/arrogant.....

I am in no way being arrogant; all I'm stating is my strength over theirs. I'm pretty sure that while they lack what I excel in, they make up for what I am lacking in and in generality, what they possesses are much more appealing to girls my age, and possibly girls of an older age. I am aware of my existing Achilles heel such as not being complimenting, not being physically affectionate with said girl, and humorous. I'm usually a humorous guy with my male friends but there is a mental inertia to humor the girl in question.

[GDX11]

I already said my intellect isn't an issue because I don't flaunt it. I take on an egalitarian stand and I see her as on par with me. I don't know what's wrong and its really frustrating!

If that's the case, maybe the girls just couldn't connect with you nor click well. That's life. Move on. I've met a couple of ladies who can really get along well with me but they are not up to my benchmark.. and my ex-gf who's really hot but I CANT GET ALONG WITH HER.

So ... if it doesn't work, move on, try again. You're not alone. This kinda thing too subjective to discuss over qualifications and attributes.. it's really down to individuals.

[kgbkgb]

I don't think yr intellect is even an issue to begin with. To put it in 1 word - boring. Ya, thats what gals hate. You just need to learn to be funny, sarcastic (without being offensive), cocky (without being arrogant) and for goodnesss sake, don't ever confess. You only confess when you sin (hehe). Whats there to confess, go with the flow, enjoy the time together and in time to come, she'll be the one confessing. hehe.

[Aesthetic]

I don't think yr intellect is even an issue to begin with. To put it in 1 word - boring. Ya, thats what gals hate. You just need to learn to be funny, sarcastic (without being offensive), cocky (without being arrogant) and for goodnesss sake, don't ever confess. You only confess when you sin (hehe). Whats there to confess, go with the flow, enjoy the time together and in time to come, she'll be the one confessing. hehe.

Dating multiple females in a single instance seems to be the only most accurate manner of prediction as to observe how a set of samples react to a certain stimulus-in this case, a certain behavior. I think, this could be the only way to increase the steepness of the learning curve instead of placing an entire eggs in the basket. Now, the problem lies in how to meet a large sample size of females without having to step into the club.

[Cerberus]

I'm stupid, short and ugly.

For the past 30 yrs, I never got success asking a gal out.

Does this mean I go ahead to kill myself?:D

[HCKing]

y keep stressing that u r intelligent? or do u actually mean philosophical?

if it's intelligent, yes girls need guys who r intelligent enough to make them happy.

if its philosophical, no girls dont need guys who r philosophical. for what use will that be?

in short, girls want happening guys who can make them feel happy and high!:D

[RealEstateGuy]

Brother, your main problem is you try too hard. In your write-up you mention one girl who was not up to your intellect. What is the point in winning her if you are incompatible anyway? I think you just need to keep dating. When you find the one things will flow smoothly with little effort. Don't need to chase nor impress. Can be more alpha etc. though. Keep us up to date on your progress.

Ask not what SG society can do for you but what you can do for SG society.

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Wow! This thread is very the deep....I got to use dictionary on many words cos no understand ;)......Could it be the char bo no understand the deep England? That's why the char bo always kept quiet on dates leh? ;) Paiseh, me no go school, no mind my poor England :p But hor, if beauty is skin deep then hor, how deep is intelligence if it's like a block of wood? anyway cheer up and try again la..It's only char bo

[Aesthetic]

Brother, your main problem is you try too hard. In your write-up you mention one girl who was not up to your intellect. What is the point in winning her if you are incompatible anyway? I think you just need to keep dating. When you find the one things will flow smoothly with little effort. Don't need to chase nor impress. Can be more alpha etc. though. Keep us up to date on your progress.

Ask not what SG society can do for you but what you can do for SG society.

The thing is I don't even try to impress. Alpha in what sense? I don't like to put on a tougher front than I am. I am real, sensitive at most instance and yet it seems to be causing me to lose out to other guys.
I am also puzzle in learning about the transition in behavioral and cognitive patterns in a female who has transited from a state of "single hood" to a state of "being in a relationship". Commonly, there is the imperative that single girls who are being pursued are turn-off by guys who provides to them an outlet for emotional tantrum. There seems to be a 'rule' that if you are too emotionally available for them, they tend to lose interest in you. Yet however, the equation is reverse the moment they enter into an exclusive relationship with a guy. Upon so, they demand a heighten attention from their partner. Is this purely biological or is it a matter of a manipulative play of dating game?

[Aesthetic]

Wow! This thread is very the deep....I got to use dictionary on many words cos no understand ;)......Could it be the char bo no understand the deep England? That's why the char bo always kept quiet on dates leh? ;) Paiseh, me no go school, no mind my poor England :p But hor, if beauty is skin deep then hor, how deep is intelligence if it's like a block of wood? anyway cheer up and try again la..It's only char bo

You're right that she's only a girl. The real issue isn't with the girl itself but with my incompetency. I dislike failing, and worst of all, no recognizing where the root of my demise lies.

[Gixer]

TS, the world is more than intellect or grades, its more than money or material things. If you can't get a girl, then sorry, but you have really failed. I see fat, ugly, stupid, poor guys with really hot girls all the time, I'm not one of them, but I've seen enough to wonder too.

The thing is, these guys make the girls feel good about themselves. If you can't make the girl feel good while out on a date, forget about making her feel good in bed.

You seem to be a typical SAP school, study kinda guy. Tell you what, you go ahead and use your superior intellect and find a cure for cancer, I'll take care of the girls. :D

[hamsapkwai]

chill out boy and get that chip off your shoulder :)

[kawasaki]

Hi bros, i'm new in the forum and i think this is an interesting topic.

So what is eligible?
handsome?
rich?
funny?
charimatic?
intelligent?
body full of muscle?

If your all of the above, yes. your very eligible.

Based on what TS have wrote, i think you have over rated yourself. so what makes u think your eligible? handsome, rich intelligent? If your eligible, gals would be flocking around you & you would post this thread.
have u got any buddies who aint handsome or rich but they seems to ahve friends or babes swarming around him? So ask yourself, since your so eligible, why cant you compared yourself to them?

i believe most would have such friends, maybe some bros here belong to this category.
So based on what u wrote, you may have problems in expressing yourself towards the opp sex or u lack charisma.

imo, sg gals dun really care whether your handsome or rich. what they care most is charisma or whether your caring enough. If gas like u just because your rich or handsome, then forget about her

[HCKing]

You're right that she's only a girl. The real issue isn't with the girl itself but with my incompetency. I dislike failing, and worst of all, no recognizing where the root of my demise lies.

first and foremost what type of girls r u after? chio babe with big boobs? clubbing animals?

[Maxdom]

Sigh! I think u belong to the dull and uninteresting category. If there is any indication, I guess the way you communicate with them is more or less similar to the way you write. So many choice of words you can use but you choose so many big words to describe something or someone. That means you are not very smart. I think Paris Hilton probably wont date you.

But to transform people like you will not be overnight. I suggest you go watch the first movie scene (4 minutes) of "The social network" and see whether you can catch some glimpse of youself in there. Will you fuck him ?

[Aesthetic]

first and foremost what type of girls r u after? chio babe with big boobs? clubbing animals?

I happened to date only average Jane but with lack of success.

[Aesthetic]

Sigh! I think u belong to the dull and uninteresting category. If there is any indication, I guess the way you communicate with them is more or less similar to the way you write. So many choice of words you can use but you choose so many big words to describe something or someone. That means you are not very smart. I think Paris Hilton probably wont date you.

But to transform people like you will not be overnight. I suggest you go watch the first movie scene (4 minutes) of "The social network" and see whether you can catch some glimpse of youself in there. Will you fuck him ?

Relative to the dating scene, yes, perhaps so. Your argument that I tend to use big words is not a valid one; technical one perhaps, but the nature of the words we deployed is often reflected in our percept of the world.

Anyway, get serious. I'm looking for concrete suggestions.

[indexes401]

Hi TS,

There is no right or wrong as everybody's experience is different. You can take my opinion as a reference point.

In the initial stage of courting, Girls usually love guys who can joke and make them laugh.

You got to let lose and try to make the girls laugh. Being intelligent is a good attribute, but being able to transform your intelligence into a witty conversation is one crucial key to opening up a girl's heart.

Girls love someone who can relate to them and make them feel comfortable. How do they feel comfortable? It is through communication and letting them know you better.

Being too intellectual means becoming too serious about things and it makes girls feel scared/bored and insecure in a way.

Moreover you mentioned that the girl can't measure up to your intellectual ability and you chose to listen. Now, if the girl is always talking and you are not talking much, it will reach a point where she will feel that the both of you have no chemistry.
No matter how strong an attraction she has for you, it will slowly die off.

Maybe you have this impression that guys should always pay for meals, i beg to differ as you are over indulging them and in the end, taken for granted by the girls.
Sometimes girls just need to be treated like dirt before they come to treasure.

Seriously the excuse that girls give is too typical, "you are too nice and you need some luck", "you are too good to be true and you can find other better girls" If it is interpreted by me, it merely means sorry you have not created enough chemistry between us. Better luck finding someone else.

Being able to carry out lame + witty conversations to make girls laugh is not an easy task. It takes lots of practice and most importantly, forsake your serious image and be a clown sometimes.

Hope the above helps. :)

[Aesthetic]

Hi TS,

There is no right or wrong as everybody's experience is different. You can take my opinion as a reference point.

In the initial stage of courting, Girls usually love guys who can joke and make them laugh.

You got to let lose and try to make the girls laugh. Being intelligent is a good attribute, but being able to transform your intelligence into a witty conversation is one crucial key to opening up a girl's heart.

Girls love someone who can relate to them and make them feel comfortable. How do they feel comfortable? It is through communication and letting them know you better.

Being too intellectual means becoming too serious about things and it makes girls feel scared/bored and insecure in a way.

Moreover you mentioned that the girl can't measure up to your intellectual ability and you chose to listen. Now, if the girl is always talking and you are not talking much, it will reach a point where she will feel that the both of you have no chemistry.
No matter how strong an attraction she has for you, it will slowly die off.

Maybe you have this impression that guys should always pay for meals, i beg to differ as you are over indulging them and in the end, taken for granted by the girls.
Sometimes girls just need to be treated like dirt before they come to treasure.

Seriously the excuse that girls give is too typical, "you are too nice and you need some luck", "you are too good to be true and you can find other better girls" If it is interpreted by me, it merely means sorry you have not created enough chemistry between us. Better luck finding someone else.

Being able to carry out lame + witty conversations to make girls laugh is not an easy task. It takes lots of practice and most importantly, forsake your serious image and be a clown sometimes.

Hope the above helps. :)

You really hit the nail, and I appreciate the constructive suggestions. What you have mentioned, coincidentally correspond to areas and aspect I think I should be improving on.:)

On a tangent, is there anyone who is familiar with the job description and training of a Regimental police?

[Greendevil]

TS,u maybe top of score when come to study but that doesnt mean u a human magnet of that sort. From what u written, I think your EQ sucks big time. Thinking you are too intelligent for a girl to even talk to her?!??!?!Well I dont think even any man will want to talk to you needless to say a girl for that arrogance and over confident. Good in yr study doesnt mean u good in everything. Else why the heck there are so many different uni course specialise in different trade , might as well make it a general degree.

Wake up handsome, stop looking down frm the cloud and start to breath some air from down earth.

[Aesthetic]

TS,u maybe top of score when come to study but that doesnt mean u a human magnet of that sort. From what u written, I think your EQ sucks big time. Thinking you are too intelligent for a girl to even talk to her?!??!?!Well I dont think even any man will want to talk to you needless to say a girl for that arrogance and over confident. Good in yr study doesnt mean u good in everything. Else why the heck there are so many different uni course specialise in different trade , might as well make it a general degree.

Wake up handsome, stop looking down frm the cloud and start to breath some air from down earth.

You're missing the canonical fine points. It would make for lesser misunderstanding if you interpret my post in a greater clarity. I do not think my intellect is anything to boot about.
You are right to say I am severely lack in EQ. I tend to have difficult expressing how I feel; and, as is the case always I care more than what I can express.

Intelligences comes in multiple dimension and there is no single measure from which it can be quantified. All I'm saying is that because she isn't intellectually inclined, I find it difficult to talk to her regarding certain aspect of interest, and by the same parity, because she tends to be a fun-loving person whose life revolves around her friends, families, social circle et al, she finds difficult relating to me. I am attracted to the qualities she possesses that which I do not. Frankly, I have little concerns as to whether or not my date is intelligent. My appetite for intellectual engagement can be fulfilled elsewhere.

And that brings me to this thread on seeking advises as to how I can improve my dating skills with the opposite gender.

[alan0338]

TS, all ur posts are so serious one leh... seriously do u know how to talk cock, joke or even flirt ? always so serious, dun say average jane will siam u la, even ugly gals will find u boring :D sometimes dun be so serious the gals will find u more yummy :D

[Aesthetic]

TS, all ur posts are so serious one leh... seriously do u know how to talk cock, joke or even flirt ? always so serious, dun say average jane will siam u la, even ugly gals will find u boring :D sometimes dun be so serious the gals will find u more yummy :D

Dam it I know; in fact, I joke among my male friends. It so happened that I write in such a manner.

[HCKing]

I happened to date only average Jane but with lack of success.

y not start dating below average Jane, yr luck may lies there. and if u r lucky to secure one to be your girl you will get to learn alot thru real BGR experience. well thats hw i learnt when i was a teen, having entered into relationships with diff fat and ugly girls. most of them r easy to sian, even more so for yr case since u mentioned u r physically attractive and intelligent. no doubt they r all short term affairs i did learn quite alot from them thru the many criticisms and expectations thrown at me by them girls during the relationships.:D

and like what other bros have said, try to be someone fun and interesting when it comes to dating. crack some stupid jokes if u must to make them laugh. too much silence is not good as it will create a negative impression and the guy will be labelled as the 'easily forgettable' or 可有可无 type.

[Satire]

Dear TS,

You come across as a little too arrogant and defensive. Perhaps you would like to reconsider your stance? Maybe lower your guard a bit, and let loose and be silly... there's no point in reading too much into things, as anyway life is complex enough already, so why add more confusion? By the way, there are plenty of girls out there who I believe can measure up to your intellectual capacities, but just maybe you haven't found one whom you're able to click with. FYI, silence denotes uninterest, so perhaps you should ask the right questions when on a date...

Hopefully my female PoV helps here :)

[GDX11]

I have friends who are able to converse and articulate well in front of fellow buddies but always lose themselves when they interact with girls. You might want to heed HCKing's advice of dating different girls so as to improve your communication with the opposite gender.

If you are feeling confident and comfortable to speak, you'll eventually be more forthcoming and funny (I hope). Treating them nice is a gentleman gesture but excessive can be deemed as putting the girl up the pedestal. Treat them well, try to be comfortable and be yourself. That's often the best way to establish meaningful and pleasant interactions.

[goodpartner]

Dam it I know; in fact, I joke among my male friends. It so happened that I write in such a manner.

Bro, how's your army days? Not in camp today? ;)

If the bros here can just have one meeting with you, we'll be able to tell you what's possibly wrong with your "always rejected" - at least I think I can tell.

So far the only feedback is that "you need more luck"? With so many failures, why have you not ask for specifics from those who "rejected" you? That's the only way you can solve the mystery and learn from mistakes.

I'm sure if you're "always" rejected, that means the problem lies with you. Hard for bros here to diagnose and analyze without more field intel :D

[EtherC]

TS, do yourself a favor and go take a Myer-Briggs test. It might tell you more about your desirable and non desirable traits. Be aware that eligibility is kinda like currency. Its a perceived value. If majority of the girls find you difficult to communicate with after spending some time with you, your eligibility will be down in the dumps.

End of the day,not many people would want to spend their time with someone who makes them feel inadequate. Be mindful of the image you project to others. Body language is important, do you appear bored and distant to the girls you dated? Conversations are a 2 way thingy you need to participate but talk about simple mundane stuff eg trips, movies. Crack a joke or two, do not appear to be high & mighty. Perhaps a female friend can advise you on this aspect. It's important to relate and display empathy ie to bridge a connection on a psychological level.

Just a suggestion, relationships are for people to enjoy each other's company. It doesn't have to be a score table. There's no pass/fail/distinction. It either works or it doesn't. Don't over analyse its more important to enjoy each other and the activity you're involved with. Be real , relaxed and sincere. It's a person, not a puzzle to be solved.

Do cheer up, you're still young and there are plenty of chances around. EQ is something one develops over time. Just meet more people and do not shy away from clubbing. It does help with socialising if you can drink.

[Satire]

@EtherC : This might be OT but ... Myer-Briggs test recommendation!

You've got me slightly amused. (In a good way)

[Aesthetic]

TS, do yourself a favor and go take a Myer-Briggs test. It might tell you more about your desirable and non desirable traits. Be aware that eligibility is kinda like currency. Its a perceived value. If majority of the girls find you difficult to communicate with after spending some time with you, your eligibility will be down in the dumps.

End of the day,not many people would want to spend their time with someone who makes them feel inadequate. Be mindful of the image you project to others. Body language is important, do you appear bored and distant to the girls you dated? Conversations are a 2 way thingy you need to participate but talk about simple mundane stuff eg trips, movies. Crack a joke or two, do not appear to be high & mighty. Perhaps a female friend can advise you on this aspect. It's important to relate and display empathy ie to bridge a connection on a psychological level.

Just a suggestion, relationships are for people to enjoy each other's company. It doesn't have to be a score table. There's no pass/fail/distinction. It either works or it doesn't. Don't over analyse its more important to enjoy each other and the activity you're involved with. Be real , relaxed and sincere. It's a person, not a puzzle to be solved.

Do cheer up, you're still young and there are plenty of chances around. EQ is something one develops over time. Just meet more people and do not shy away from clubbing. It does help with socialising if you can drink.

I'm surprised there's someone who knows is familiar with the Myber-Briggs type Indicator. I've been tested for an INTJ on multiple frequency since a young boy, ranking high on I, N and T dimension. The girls whom I've dated are ESFJ. I understand it is a bad combination. I club but rarely, and whenever I club, let lose and am half-drunk, I get girls. The same cannot be said when I am not under the alcoholic influence. I can drink a lot and am a very strong drinker. I suspect so, a lot of people informed me that I appear cold, distant and nonchalant in my body language and facial expression, and often looking into blank space when they're conversing. But the fact isn't that I am unconcerned with them, I just am processing through the information from them and thinking of a well-constructed and useful reply. I care more than I can express, and body and verbal expression while are typically an indicator of one's interest and intentions, does not hold true for me.

[Aesthetic]

Bro, how's your army days? Not in camp today? ;)

If the bros here can just have one meeting with you, we'll be able to tell you what's possibly wrong with your "always rejected" - at least I think I can tell.

So far the only feedback is that "you need more luck"? With so many failures, why have you not ask for specifics from those who "rejected" you? That's the only way you can solve the mystery and learn from mistakes.

I'm sure if you're "always" rejected, that means the problem lies with you. Hard for bros here to diagnose and analyze without more field intel :D

I'm on block leave which ends tomorrow. Posted to as RP. I don't mind meet up but not at my current state. I've been suffering from suspected melancholic depression in camp- suicidal thoughts, physical unmotivated to move, sleeping in parade square- am on medication and pending medical assessment. So bad that I am temporarily on excuse stay-in, firearms and explosive. It doesn't help that the aspect of dating is one which is constantly making me feel like a failure. I've self-reflected, and the conclusion as I have arrived, and as corroborated by people of my social circle, and on this board, is that I am boring. I doubt I need more feedbacks from my previous rejectors as intuition tells me that I have been rejected because I am too nice, too boring, and, I suffer from a deficiency of skill and interests in the area of small talks which impedes my ability to communicate with people, or females, on a general level. Such topics usually ranges from gossips, to movies and shopping, and my lack of interest and ability to prolong such communications means a major talking topic-relative to them-has been removed. This put me against an unfavorable odd. Moreover, I want nothing to do with those previous rejectors after having been taken advantage of by them. Most of them come contacting me for a meet up after their break ups. I refused to trade my spine.

[Aesthetic]

Goodpartner: I am confused. I'm pretty sure there was a certain degree of attraction between me and my date, and perhaps the attraction fizzled out due to a combination of my personality and other causative factors. On this view, given that she is aware of my interest towards her(even after her attraction towards me has faded), should she not distance herself from me instead of continuing with me in the practice of text flirting, acceptances of movie and dinner dates?
I cannot help but feel that no matter how good she is or might be, she see no harm in reaping the benefits of going out with me. Regardless my perspective I assume from different angulation, I can only verdict I was taken advantage of. Would you, or anyone on this board agree with my sentiments? Are my sentiments valid?

[jessca]

Though we girls always said we are looking for good/nice guys. But in reality, we will always choose the bad one compare to the nice one :p

You sound like a smart/serious guy. Try to be more fun, crack a joke, ask her questions(don't just let her do all the talking >.< ) :)

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Goodpartner: I am confused. I'm pretty sure there was a certain degree of attraction between me and my date, and perhaps the attraction fizzled out due to a combination of my personality and other causative factors. On this view, given that she is aware of my interest towards her(even after her attraction towards me has faded), should she not distance herself from me instead of continuing with me in the practice of text flirting, acceptances of movie and dinner dates?
I cannot help but feel that no matter how good she is or might be, she see no harm in reaping the benefits of going out with me. Regardless my perspective I assume from different angulation, I can only verdict I was taken advantage of. Would you, or anyone on this board agree with my sentiments? Are my sentiments valid?

I fully agreed with you. Yeah, I think those girls "blinded by stamps" and they took advantage of a super nice guy like you. Why on earth you CMI with girls is a great mystery. Though a newbie myself, I think you are 1 of the smartest (if not the most intelligent) guy in this forum. Too bad, my sister and her friends flew back to Tokyo, if not, I sure intro them to you (seriously). ;):D

[CuteWettie]

Sad to say, girls arent interested in MCPs or guys who are too full of themselves, thinking that they are the best or smartest in the world and mean it...

That being said, i suppose girls hate guys who cant get the message that we arent interested.

[Aesthetic]

Sad to say, girls arent interested in MCPs or guys who are too full of themselves, thinking that they are the best or smartest in the world and mean it...

That being said, i suppose girls hate guys who cant get the message that we arent interested.

I'm not MCP, nor am I full of myself. I assume an egalitarian world view.There is this conflation with society that one must be full of themselves just because they are intelligent, and vice versa. Intellect is in itself a quality; where, arrogance is the function from which a negative product is derived from the quality of what intelligence is.

Of course, your statement "girls hate guys who...." is a valid one. However, the nature of the case here does not correspond to the nature of your statement.

[Aesthetic]

Though we girls always said we are looking for good/nice guys. But in reality, we will always choose the bad one compare to the nice one :p

You sound like a smart/serious guy. Try to be more fun, crack a joke, ask her questions(don't just let her do all the talking >.< ) :)

How about being a jerk? I was advised to treat them like dirt but I find it difficult to do so as it was not within my character. Does the 'bad' boy appeal holds only for girls of a certain age or is it a biological precursor for the mating instinct of the female species? You are right, given all the considerations that arisen on this board, my problem might be that my reluctances to humor my date and inertia towards small talks. I certainly would have to tone down my level of depth too; starting off with light-hearted topics unless the lady has shown to be capable of being an equal mind mate.

[jessca]

How about being a jerk? I was advised to treat them like dirt but I find it difficult to do so as it was not within my character.


Aww... don't treat them like dirt >.< we might prefer bad guys to nice guys (but we often regret this decision too) Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to say that being a jerk is a good thing. Its just how the law of attraction works.

Its a good thing that being a jerk its not within your character :) I'm sure someone like you will eventually meet a nice girl. (If the girls you date don't see it, you should be relieve that you two ain't progressing)

[makemecum]

intellect i presume iq
but wih gals got alot to do with EQ??

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

I ever went on a star wars movie (Attack of the Clones) date with a woman. Man!....That evening was like a date with Jar Jar Binks cos this bombastic preacher talked a lot about herself using long and difficult words trying to impress me that she know more than I do.....for example:

Simple - The clone army marched to war :)

Bombastic - The clone military forces in all their panoply made their way towards the forthcoming conflict. :rolleyes:

So I took out my light saber and with a 2-handed slash, cut all her "unnecessarily pretentious" (wow! I am so impressed with myself with this "big" word!!)......and conversed with her in Cantonese instead. Needless to say, she was not invited in the next film: Revenge of the Sith. :p

Moral of the story: Many people often got stuck in their self-created "Quicksand Trap" cos the objective of going on a date is to "Make the Connection". It's not an intellectual game. Too serious and smarty pants, girls will find you dull, lifeless, uninteresting and boring. It ain't cool to be with you at all. :D

[Aesthetic]

I ever went on a star wars movie (Attack of the Clones) date with a woman. Man!....That evening was like a date with Jar Jar Binks cos this bombastic preacher talked a lot about herself using long and difficult words trying to impress me that she know more than I do.....for example:

Simple - The clone army marched to war :)

Bombastic - The clone military forces in all their panoply made their way towards the forthcoming conflict. :rolleyes:

So I took out my light saber and with a 2-handed slash, cut all her "unnecessarily pretentious" (wow! I am so impressed with myself with this "big" word!!)......and conversed with her in Cantonese instead. Needless to say, she was not invited in the next film: Revenge of the Sith. :p

Moral of the story: Many people often got stuck in their self-created "Quicksand Trap" cos the objective of going on a date is to "Make the Connection". It's not an intellectual game. Too serious and smarty pants, girls will find you dull, lifeless, uninteresting and boring. It ain't cool to be with you at all. :D

You are right; I'm convinced that I'm a bored.

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

You are right; I'm convinced that I'm a bored.

Try to look at it as lessons than faults. Anyway, we won't know what's wrong with you in real life. Just date as much as possible with all types of girls and 1 day you'll realize why things with everybody else didn't work out. :D

Never treat a girl like dirt, make them feel beautiful! :p

[see see only]

Impression after reading all your posts ... especially the title : "Eligible but always rejected" :confused: .............. shake head

By the way, "eligible" is never a word used by oneself to describle oneself, is for someone to praise or make comment on another. :)


Anyway me hope the following song can help you to understand what a "real" girl will feel, not those chic who like you for practical reason. :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-0ZIFe2gis

[fazer6s]

One of My favourite country singer

Thks bro See See Only

TS the world is your oyster - Frankie Goes To Hollywood :D

[HCKing]

You are right; I'm convinced that I'm a bored.

tell u wat, try make a trip down orchard rd, order some coffee at starbucks or coffee bean and slowly observe how the other guys buaya their girls. while doing so be objective and u may be able to have a clearer picture of how these things work. last but not least, the way u write is really monotonous and formal. do u also speak like the way u write?

[Aesthetic]

tell u wat, try make a trip down orchard rd, order some coffee at starbucks or coffee bean and slowly observe how the other guys buaya their girls. while doing so be objective and u may be able to have a clearer picture of how these things work. last but not least, the way u write is really monotonous and formal. do u also speak like the way u write?

I am sarcastic, flirty, and humorous over text, but this does not extent to a face to face conversation; for some reason, and I do not know why. On a date, I rarely speak in a manner similar to the way I write; in an academic setting, yes, my verbiage style is highly abstract and technical. I'm just really quiet on a date. I feel comfortable with the silence. Currently, I'm suffering from a strong phobia of making another attempt to date anyone. I have become so conversant with failing that I reflectively intuit basing off previous experiences that my present attempt will result in the same outcome.

[EtherC]

As you can see from the feedback , your current image is of someone who is arrogant & bombastic. From your other posts there's also indication of insecurity, sexual immaturity and obsession with minutiae. Typical high strung INTJ.

Now, knowledge is pointless if you don't know how to use it to improve your situation. As an INTJ ,the key issue you have to work on is to learn how to communicate better & create a positive image.

Your barrier in communication largely stems from your awkward usage of vocabulary, grammar and tenses. Eg:

But the fact isn't that I am unconcerned with them, I just am processing through the information from them and thinking of a well-constructed and useful reply.I care more than I can express, and body and verbal expression while are typically an indicator of one's interest and intentions, does not hold true for me.

- This sounds more like a statement one would write in a mathematical proof. That's not how people communicate in their daily routines.

Try saying:

When I zone out its because Im trying to think of a useful reply. It's not that I don't care. Display of emotions is really not my forte.

People can't read minds. You need to tell people how you think & feel by your facial expressions, posture, tone & manner of speech etc.Wanna show people you are flowing with love, care and concern? Get a cute pet. Wanna display sophiscation: attend plays be knowledgeble in wine and music. Make your INTJ talents work for you man! Most importantly idle banter doesn't have to be "useful" knowledge. Be aware of your target audience. If you're talking to a fellow astro nerd yea go ballistic with topics like Doppler effect & definition of a parsec. With a girl ask for fashion tips , compliment on her style and bring her along to help you shop. Plan for that dinner, give her a couple of choices. And when it comes to homework & research who can beat an INTJ?

To help with idle banter, watch some TV programs other than Discovery Channel. Try variety shows, MTV etc. Read lifestyle magazines, develop an interesting hobby like scuba diving.There are a multitude of things you can do. And TS please stay calm. Women like cool guys. That paranoid display you had over at your other thread about post handjob HIV is just uncool. Forget probability, death is inevitable. Firefly or the Galapagos tortoise, its up to you. You only live once though. Now isn't it a tad sad to know that a rabbit is getting more sex in its short lifespan than you've had in your 22yrs?

Take home message : leverage your strengths and compensate for your inadequacies.

If its still not helping then go seek the help of a professional grooming and image consultant.

I'm surprised there's someone who knows is familiar with the Myber-Briggs type Indicator. I've been tested for an INTJ on multiple frequency since a young boy, ranking high on I, N and T dimension. The girls whom I've dated are ESFJ. I understand it is a bad combination. I club but rarely, and whenever I club, let lose and am half-drunk, I get girls. The same cannot be said when I am not under the alcoholic influence. I can drink a lot and am a very strong drinker. I suspect so, a lot of people informed me that I appear cold, distant and nonchalant in my body language and facial expression, and often looking into blank space when they're conversing. But the fact isn't that I am unconcerned with them, I just am processing through the information from them and thinking of a well-constructed and useful reply. I care more than I can express, and body and verbal expression while are typically an indicator of one's interest and intentions, does not hold true for me.

[Aesthetic]

As you can see from the feedback , your current image is of someone who is arrogant & bombastic. From your other posts there's also indication of insecurity, sexual immaturity and obsession with minutiae. Typical high strung INTJ.

I must disagree with your assumption of me being insecure. I'm a highly confident individual, but the only caveat lies only in dating. I find it exceedingly difficult to make sense of emotions, much more that of the female species.


Now, knowledge is pointless if you don't know how to use it to improve your situation. As an INTJ ,the key issue you have to work on is to learn how to communicate better & create a positive image.

Your barrier in communication largely stems from your awkward usage of vocabulary, grammar and tenses. Eg:

But the fact isn't that I am unconcerned with them, I just am processing through the information from them and thinking of a well-constructed and useful reply.I care more than I can express, and body and verbal expression while are typically an indicator of one's interest and intentions, does not hold true for me.

- This sounds more like a statement one would write in a mathematical proof. That's not how people communicate in their daily routines.

Try saying:

When I zone out its because Im trying to think of a useful reply. It's not that I don't care. Display of emotions is really not my forte.

I get you.
One of the more conversant advises to me is the nature and intensity of my words. While efforts have been made, results has been futile. A word represents a picture; a picture is a reality of what exists in our world; the limitation of our word is the limitation of our world. Whereof one cannot speak, one must remain silence. Our usage of our word is reflected in the percept of our internal and external world. I have been making effort to translate abstract words into more concrete ones for better understanding among my audiences.


People can't read minds. You need to tell people how you think & feel by your facial expressions, posture, tone & manner of speech etc.Wanna show people you are flowing with love, care and concern? Get a cute pet. Wanna display sophiscation: attend plays be knowledgeble in wine and music. Make your INTJ talents work for you man! Most importantly idle banter doesn't have to be "useful" knowledge. Be aware of your target audience. If you're talking to a fellow astro nerd yea go ballistic with topics like Doppler effect & definition of a parsec. With a girl ask for fashion tips , compliment on her style and bring her along to help you shop. Plan for that dinner, give her a couple of choices. And when it comes to homework & research who can beat an INTJ?

Working on that man! I'm reading through threads on girls who were toyed with or cheated by players. Informations regarding as to the behaviors of players would typically steepen my learning curve and shorten learning phase, hopefully.


To help with idle banter, watch some TV programs other than Discovery Channel. Try variety shows, MTV etc. Read lifestyle magazines, develop an interesting hobby like scuba diving.There are a multitude of things you can do. And TS please stay calm. Women like cool guys. That paranoid display you had over at your other thread about post handjob HIV is just uncool. Forget probability, death is inevitable. Firefly or the Galapagos tortoise, its up to you. You only live once though. Now isn't it a tad sad to know that a rabbit is getting more sex in its short lifespan than you've had in your 22yrs?

I'm too calm and composed with people! I thought you would have given advise of the converse. Of course that is uncool; while usually emotionally composed, analysis paralysis turn my world upside down.



If its still not helping then go seek the help of a professional grooming and image consultant.
I'm not concern with my image and grooming. I dress in a manner better than the clapham omnibus, groom well, am extremely particularly with personal hygiene.

[peter69on]

You are diffetent and unique. And is just another character that happens to fall under the not so common.

I guess you are intelligent and know what need to be done to change yourself to suit the envronment. Can you change yourself to suit the majority.
If not..keep on trying...untill you found the girl that actually found your character and personality attractive

[tanmikel]

Take the recent girl who rejected me a few months back, she never rejected my dates and her replies to me were almost always instant, although, granted that I was always the one initiating texts and dates. We flirted over texts regularly but the moment I confessed, I was rejected

and it never occurred to you that you are not the problem ?

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Whatever it is your problem with girls. Only you know. ;)

Hope you will not abuse your power as a "RP" on NS men who are not on par with your "intelligent" :D:p

[Aesthetic]

Whatever it is your problem with girls. Only you know. ;)

Hope you will not abuse your power as a "RP" on NS men who are not on par with your "intelligent" :D:p

Might be downpes due to depression.

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Might be downpes due to depression.

atypical OR dysthymia depression?

Please get treated early cos with your current luck with girls, it be worst if the girls mistaken you as mental :D:p Cos I really think you are a highly intelligent chap ;) Like I said earlier, if my sister and her friends are still here before flying off to Tokyo, I would intro them to you.

[Aesthetic]

atypical OR dysthymia depression?

Please get treated early cos with your current luck with girls, it be worst if the girls mistaken you as mental :D:p Cos I really think you are a highly intelligent chap ;) Like I said ealrier, if my sister and her friends are still here before flying off to Tokyo, I would intro them to you.

Suspected melancholic depression; the histrionic tendencies as part of the symptoms of melancholic depression does not apply to everyone. Further medical assessments are required to ascertain a more accurate diagnosis. The symptoms I have are only suicidal tendencies, void, anhedonia, physically unmotivated to move, mentally tired and related. I don't want to even be dating girls or interacting with people now.

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Suspected melancholic depression; the histrionic tendencies as part of the symptoms of melancholic depression does not apply to everyone. Further medical assessments are required to ascertain a more accurate diagnosis. The symptoms I have are only suicidal tendencies, void, anhedonia, physically unmotivated to move, mentally tired and related.

Go GL or find a FL, it will cure all your depression. :D:p

Sex is the Best Cure for Depression cos depression occurs due to a rush of sperm to the head.

[alan0338]

TS, dun give up, failure is mother of success. :D.. like wat the bro IK said, pick up from mistakes, sure will succeed 1 day. good luck ;)

[RealEstateGuy]

The thing is I don't even try to impress. Alpha in what sense? I don't like to put on a tougher front than I am. I am real, sensitive at most instance and yet it seems to be causing me to lose out to other guys.
I am also puzzle in learning about the transition in behavioral and cognitive patterns in a female who has transited from a state of "single hood" to a state of "being in a relationship". Commonly, there is the imperative that single girls who are being pursued are turn-off by guys who provides to them an outlet for emotional tantrum. There seems to be a 'rule' that if you are too emotionally available for them, they tend to lose interest in you. Yet however, the equation is reverse the moment they enter into an exclusive relationship with a guy. Upon so, they demand a heighten attention from their partner. Is this purely biological or is it a matter of a manipulative play of dating game?

Brother, you shouldn't try to impress. If you keep bragging about your intellect or academic accomplishments people get bored. By Alpha I mean confident about yourself and your ability to get ANY woman. That is how you should come across. It is innate but can be learned over time. Takes time to date many many women. No offense, but you seem at this point like an effimate man not the leader type that women get horny over. Try calling the shots and when there is a hint of a date then act unavailable. Later she will be thrilled to be on your "appointment" book to get a date. Also, you seems to use a shotgun approach targeting any woman. To a gal working at a hawker stand you might think she is interested in you but not likely. Its not a good fit and the woman thinks she would not be able to keep you and its probably true. You need to target your own segment of the market. I'm guesting its the more educated women. Also be willing to talk about sex openly after a few dates. Sooner or later the gal feels horny herself. But dont be rude about it. Be gentleman and do not sleep with her unless you really like her and want a relationship. If she says she is fine with no strings then you make sure before anything happens. No need to be an asshole hurting people.

Ask not what SG society can do for you but what you can do for SG society.

[newhere]

In sobriety, you are too conscious. But your unconscious mind already know how it feels like to just let go and do things. And as you go soberly on your date in the future, you will remember those feeling of drunkenness before, letting yourself enjoy the moment in full ecstasy now.

[Aesthetic]

Sometimes it's not about good in anything or not ah! But neh! It's the chemistry between both ppl marhs. If uh, Nothing to talk about/ Different personality then either you/the other party should know that it's pointless to be together or what marh.

What i do suggest is that maybe you should find girls who is same level as your IQ/EQ uh! Like that then can marh sure got something to talk one. Although you say the intellectual level is not an issue uh.

But for Eg:
If nerdy quiet Jc boy and Ah lian girl go out dating they will sure find that nothing much to say coz not same level marh. If jc boy and jc girl together then more likely there will be more things to talk about uh!

Most girls do want people to care for them and love them, And they do hate guys who are proud/arrogant. No offence but i think a little change in your attitude will be good. Also, Try and learn how to be more humorous? Girls do like guys who joke around and make them happy. Not like Quiet and boring. They eventually get fed-up/pissed off one eh!.

Also You may not feel that your being arrogant luhhs but har. Most bros do get the feeling that your arrogant/proud. No offence but even i do feel it too. Also, 失败乃成功之母 ! Cannot be afraid to fail one! Life has ups and downs. No one if perfect. I am sure you know that. If you fail one time then very pek cek and sad. How you going to do greater things or continue with your life?

Well, There are so many tress in the forest. Surely you can find one that is suitable for you. If this one is over for you, move on lo. This is reality marh. Bo bian one. Slowly slowly. Bro only 22 year old neh. Got long way to go uh! Jiayous eh!

I actually failed a few times consecutively, not just once. Upon taking the initiative to ask my previous rejector the raison d'etre for my rejection, the common associated answer ascribed to the reason was my lack of humor and silence. That is a translation to "boring". I accept it.

I'm really a humble guy and not one to boast about my achievements. Prestige, fame and reputation means nothing to me in the real sense of the world. Perhaps, and I think true to that, is the tone reflected in the manner in which I type; but understand that tone-reflected via an online portal-does not necessarily reflect an accurate description of the person sending the message.

[hamsapkwai]

I'm really a humble guy and not one to boast about my achievements. Prestige, fame and reputation means nothing to me in the real sense of the world. Perhaps, and I think true to that, is the tone reflected in the manner in which I type; but understand that tone-reflected via an online portal-does not necessarily reflect an accurate description of the person sending the message.[/QUOTE]

ya right ;) and i heard lately that pigs can fly

[Aesthetic]

I'm really a humble guy and not one to boast about my achievements. Prestige, fame and reputation means nothing to me in the real sense of the world. Perhaps, and I think true to that, is the tone reflected in the manner in which I type; but understand that tone-reflected via an online portal-does not necessarily reflect an accurate description of the person sending the message.

ya right ;) and i heard lately that pigs can fly[/QUOTE]

And from where did you deduce that conclusion? Burden of proof lies on you. I do not go round telling people of my achievements. Achievement, does not reflect anything about one's mindset, principle and personality. It would help if you eliminate your slander, and, baseless accusations.

[nitefyre]

TS, suggest you read this book 'The Game' by Neil Strauss. It is an interesting read, and i think you might be able to relate to the story. Now, i'm not suggesting that you transform yourself into a PUA, but take the lessons that are taught in that book on how to overcome your fears. If you can look at dating as a social experiment, and something to learn from, you will succeed in the end. Like all scientific endeavours, discovery is born from a series of systematic trial and errors. For example, try telling a joke/story on one date, try telling it differently on another, try talking about the latest entertainment news, etc. Surely after a series of tries (how many will ultimately depend on you), you must discover something that works for you and the type of girl that you like.

Being INTJ makes it more difficult, but not impossible. You just have to be willing to put in the time (and in some cases, the money).

Just because you like silence, doesn't mean she enjoys it either. Your date probably finds it awkward as hell. So, I think perhaps you need to reset what you think girls want in a potential boyfriend. Surely if you have all the right qualities, girls will be throwing themselves at you ... unless ... your original assumption on what makes a guy eligible, is wrong.

[DegenerationX]

I'm going to skip this thread. having a damn hard time trying to figure out what TS is writing.....have to use dictionary so often....:D:rolleyes:

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

And from where did you deduce that conclusion? Burden of proof lies on you. I do not go round telling people of my achievements. Achievement, does not reflect anything about one's mindset, principle and personality. It would help if you eliminate your slander, and, baseless accusations.

Hmmmm..............actually we really don't know whether you went around telling people of your achievement or not....What achievement leh???? :confused:

Nobody slander you la. Take a chill pill la. Wake up leh. :D

note: Don't mind this singlish "la & leh" cos this is how Ah Beng like me talk in real world and girls seems to love it - I like you la, You so chio la and Not free leh...etc...)

[jessca]

note: Don't mind this singlish "la & leh" cos this is how Ah Beng like me talk in real world and girls seems to love it - I like you la, You so chio la and Not free leh...etc...)

hahaha.. so funny. but then too much la leh hor meh is not good too.

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

hahaha.. so funny. but then too much la leh hor meh is not good too.

I agreed "la'. :D

As in all things including sex, moderate is the key to a healthy lifestyle.

[Cerberus]

i suggest you pass all your gfs and prospective gfs and whatever to me. thank you.

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

i suggest you pass all your gfs and prospective gfs and whatever to me. thank you.

But...can he tag along on your dates?
It be good for him to learn a thing or 2.
Of cos, I'm sure he won't mind footing his own bill and lesson fee ;)

[alan0338]

I'm going to skip this thread. having a damn hard time trying to figure out what TS is writing.....have to use dictionary so often....:D:rolleyes:

sian cha bor fail, then feel gek sim lor... :D

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

sian cha bor fail, then feel gek sim lor... :D

Bro alan0338, how do you say "ice" in Hokkein? "sng" is it?

gek sim, better than sim gek sng - then it be gone liao la :D

[alan0338]

Bro alan0338, how do you say "ice" in Hokkein? "sng" is it?

gek sim, better than sim gek sng - then it be gone liao la :D

hehe, better dun say liao, he mia quite long liao, scared he really do something crazy after all our comments then we jialat liao bro :eek: :eek:
nowadays young ppl sibei hiong one, can do anything,no need much thinking :D

p/s: sng is correct ...

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

....owadays young ppl sibei hiong one, can do anything,no need much thinking :D

I fully agreed of our young people nowadays
But............................................... .........
Don't forget, he is highly intelligent wor ;)
With his intelligence and IQ, I 'm sure he understand that we all meant well for him.
If not, there are really no stupid people liao, tio-bo? :p

[vivacasanova]

I'm experiencing the same thing as bro Aesthetic... How come it's really hard to get serious with girls nowadays? Sometimes I blame it o the "baggage" that I have that is I'm still yearning for my ex although she has moved on with someone else... The pain and longing for her is still there. The girls I met after her are either not serious or have some issues...

[jack_daniels]

You should just date smart girls then problem solved....I've gone on dates with girls who I think are smarter than I am, the topics they talk sometimes are quite deep and kept asking my opinions about it...obviously, it never developed into a serious relationship because I felt inferior. If you date those smart girls, it will be better for you and her. You're both on the same level and she will love you for being smart.

[Fade]

Hey dude - I swear that i have read every word of your postings seriously for the past 35 mins.

Here is my advice to you: You are nice, but you need alot of luck.

So Good luck!

[labyrinth]

Hey bro, it dosent mean that if you are nice and intellectual you are sure to score a girlfriend. You are only 22 of age..still young. Perhaps you are looking for your desired kinds in the wrong places...? Its not not not easy to find a soulmate, its finding a needle in the haystack. But don't get dishearten, keep trying and one day you will find one that can deeply appreciate you:D:D

[Aesthetic]

But...can he tag along on your dates?
It be good for him to learn a thing or 2.
Of cos, I'm sure he won't mind footing his own bill and lesson fee ;)

I converse with her over text over her reason for rejecting me and I realized I was toyed with. CCB.

[alan0338]

CCB.

kekeke, tot wat happen to u liao.... anyway, nice to see u use tat word bwahahahahah :D

[Aesthetic]

kekeke, tot wat happen to u liao.... anyway, nice to see u use tat word bwahahahahah :D

Have been disconnected in almost all area of interests. Doctor ascertain that I am suffering from MDD; its better I seek psychological closure.

[yuddle]

you are probably secretly/subconsciously proud of your superior mental faculties (be it a valid claim or not). Otherwise, why are you persisting in your (ineffective) ways?

Honestly, you don't need to constantly reinforce this to everyone by typing like this in a casual forum. This is what i think: stop thinking how you present yourself, go with the flow, then you'll bang that ho.;)

[EcceHomo]

Foah, really entertaining thread! The sort that's sure to release a couple of good laughs. Nice. Spent a few moments guffawing uncontrollably while chewing on some crunchy crisps and washing them down with a pint of bitter. Good thing I didn't choke.

TS, serious thanks for the leisurely distraction. I don't even know where to start because I'm not sure if we're meant to take you seriously or not. But even if any of us were to just take your statements at face value (and I don't see why we should), please pardon those of us who see some twisted humor in this entire drama.

Do update us on what the shrink says. Maybe it'll be better for you to get a really thorough assessment. In addition to SSRIs (or more rarely, MAOIs), could it be that you need some good old mood stabilizers or antipsychotics as well? Are you sure it's MDD and not Bipolar Disorder (or another condition on the bipolar spectrum)? Some of your grandiloquent pronouncements (assuming that we unquestioningly accept them as they are) betray a steely, almost unconscious arrogance that hints (perhaps) at mania or hypomania. At the same time, maybe you ought to be tested for schizophrenia or autism spectrum conditions as well. I truly wouldn't say such things lightly. :p ;) Whatever the case may be, do understand that early diagnosis and treatment can do wonders. Just a suggestion, of course; best to leave such stuff to the experts.

Will be tuning in again soon.

Cheers. At least you'll be looking forward to better living through chemistry soon.

[BaoBei512]

To reply:
From an Average Jane :
After seriously going through all your post, I would seriously encourage you to seek help from a psychologist, besides MDD, perhaps also Schizophrenia & Bipolar Disorder?
Reason – please read the following :)


14-01-2011, 10:12 AM
“….6times-over a course of few months; silence are common on our date
It seems like I could spend months of effort and yet fail whereas some guys would need only to spend a month or two just to get into a relationship….
…. I can't get over the fact that I've been failing..”

A: It’s just like getting a sale contract in, if you are the client, would you purchase from someone that follow-up 6 times over a few months or 6 times in a month? *Assuming the other guy dated her 6 times and above. And since you cannot get over the fact you are failing can only mean you are obsessed with the result.

Just get over it, telemarketers can make hundreds of calls each day and their ratio of success could be 1 : 100, I don’t see them getting depressed.
14-01-2011, 11:19 AM
“.. I'm sinking further into depression whenever I think of my constant failure in this area..”
A: Same as above.
14-01-2011, 11:23 AM
“.. I find it difficult to find interest in taking about the usual family, friends, and more general topics..”
A: Why so, talking about friends, family & general topics is a good way for light communication! Don’t you want your date to understand & find out more about you?

14-01-2011, 12:36 PM
“.. whenever I see girls whom I was interested get together with guys who aren't great in any aspects…”
A: Although you did clarified on numerous time that you are not arrogant, however this statement construe to being arrogant. And yet, in a later post, you mention that they (guys) could have excelled you in areas in which you are lacking.

14-01-2011, 01:27 PM
“..I don't compliment, nor do I engage in minor and superficial physical touches …..
… uninterested in me when it is the case that they have known in the initial phase that I am interested in them and hence, my asking them out on a date…”
A: how can any physical touches be superficial is beyond me, don’t you know that by occasionally touching your date’s elbows, hands etc etc is a great way of showing her that you are listening and paying attention to them, which I might add, a way of showing them interest? Although your date might know that you are interested in her hence the date but that does not construe continuing interest during the date

14-01-2011, 02:13 PM
“.. Dating multiple females in a single instance seems to be the only most accurate manner of prediction…”
A: You can try doing it, but judging from “Men are from Mars and women from Venus” dating multiple females might not be of a good judgement. As many brothers here might vouch, females have many side, therefore, it’s impossible to “predict” them. I suggest putting in your sincerity to try & understand them
14-01-2011, 04:55 PM
“… There seems to be a 'rule' that if you are too emotionally available for them, they tend to lose interest in you…”

A: No such ‘rule’ is being written, however if you lost the chance to confess on the 1st or 2nd date, they might assumed that you are only interested in being an emotionally available FRIEND.
14-01-2011, 06:59 PM
“… date only average Jane..”
A: “beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder” if you are truly interested in your date, how can you describe her as an average Jane. Although that might be the truth.
14-01-2011, 07:02 PM
get serious. I'm looking for concrete suggestions.
A: Fellow samster did offer a serious suggestion, by asking you to reveal the truth and see yourself for who you are.
14-01-2011, 07:26 PM
“.. I am attracted to the qualities she possesses that which I do not..”
A: And what might those be? Since you mention that you find in hard to talk interest in what she’s talking about, assuming it’s the same date.

15-01-2011, 10:01 AM
“…. that I appear cold, distant and nonchalant in my body language and facial expression, and often looking into blank space when they're conversing. But the fact isn't that I am unconcerned with them, I just am processing through the information from them and thinking of a well-constructed and useful reply….”
A: Don’t think so much, sometimes a little “superficial” physical contact like touching on the elbows, shoulders or a one word like “yes, and, is it” can be a form of asking her to go ahead with what she is trying to get across. 15-01-2011, 10:04 AM
“…. I refused to trade my spine…”
A: So when a person errs in the choice she made, she is not supposed to regret & try to salvage it? I might be mis-interpreting but it seems that way to me.
16-01-2011, 10:54 AM
“… I am sarcastic, flirty, and humorous over text..”

A: I’m wondering would it be you ask your date over text, which she is thinking that it might be fun going out with this guy. However “periods of silence” does not construe to that notion.
16-01-2011, 01:22 PM
“.. I don't want to even be dating girls or interacting with people now…”
A: But by talking to us, you are interacting with us, unless you treat us as a “aunt agony robots”
16-01-2011, 07:12 PM
“… I'm really a humble guy and not one to boast about my achievements. Prestige, fame and reputation means nothing to me in the real sense of the world…”
A: if you really do not care about your achievements, prestige, fame, reputation and they mean nothing to you. Why are you so concern to defend your “image – reputation” in a cyber-world? We don’t know you in real life, we don’t know your real name, we don’t know where you stay and so on and forth.Note from BB512, to type in an intellect manner has cost me 1hr 30mins of constructive thinking/writing/proof reading, 3 pages in a word’s document that might invite zapping for a long post. When I can just talk in my normal way of talking:

“To Aesthetic:

A average jane (me in this case as I can only speak for myself):
: likes to accept dates from guys that sound interesting and “be” interesting during dates
: have a sense of humour, likes to talk to me and listen to my reply in return to a question.
: Confidence of talking to me without the use of words that might appear in a lawyer statement
: Frequent follow-ups & dates eg. once a week sounds pretty good in the busy world
: honesty, when a topic don’t interest you, move to one that you are interested and have common ground in.

From an encounter of a 26 y/o friend, he is a “V” in all ways and gotten his first GF, after months of pursuing, nightly hours of talking & listening (can be 2 – 3hrs, even when out with friends) and at least twice a week date, might be for 1 – 2 hours, but it serve its purpose of meeting up.

Suggestion: to seek medical help & assessment in your mental condition upon full recovery then tread the dating floor again! You are still young!

*footnote: the views above are solely of BB512, no discrimination; punk is/are intended on purpose. And I did seriously post some constructive insight on the problems of TS and hopes it will help him. And YES, I'M AN ANALYZER but not overly so.

[hamsapkwai]

hey TS how about some new big words, i wanna improve my vocab and impress my circle of friends :P

[bastardball]

Have been disconnected in almost all area of interests. Doctor ascertain that I am suffering from MDD; its better I seek psychological closure.



Bro, I got a solution to all your problems....since you keep getting rejected by gals, why dun you try dating guys for a change?

I believe alot of guys out there can match your intellect and since you are attractive looking, you will have no shortage of suitors..:)

[EcceHomo]

Well, you wanted attention and advice. Now you have it all. Hope you're satisfied somehow. :D

Though I also hope the SAF shrinks are competent enough to deal with the complexities of your "special" and possibly "unique" predicament. :D I could be wrong but it's better to have no "treatment" at all than to deal with the consequences of some half-wrought or untested solution provided by some incompetent, deluded or simply inferior charlatan! :D

On top of whatever I have said earlier (and without any prejudice directed anywhere whatsoever), maybe you should also consider the possibility that you could be afflicted with a personality disorder as well. Whether it's DSM-IV-TR or ICD-10 you're thinking of, I believe you do exhibit enough symptoms to warrant such a line of investigation. It certainly seems quite fair to say that you (assuming your statements are taken at face value) exhibit "an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the culture of the individual who exhibits it." Again, I wouldn't say such things lightly because I have had plenty of experience dealing with individuals thus afflicted, though not in a professional capacity, of course. Ain't much fun, that's for sure.

Ain't much fun either if you don't check back in with updates.

Do let us know soon. Smart guys like you just make perfect idols for lesser mortals like us, simply leaving us dumbstruck with the breadth and depth of your intellect and wisdom (only a natural state of affairs, I'm afraid; which is why we have only ourselves to blame when we find we're stuck on the proverbial Clapham omnibus!) so it's only natural that we're so concerned. Truly. :D

*takes another bite from a handful of crisps*

[frivolous_ami]

Hi ts,

Being rejected is normal. You can be the best durian but it comes back to the same, if the other party dont know how to appreciate a good durian.

There are plenty more important things than women. Seriously, you are not a fool to realise that you are better off spending more time to get your degree and build up career first. With career, getting women is not going to be difficult at all.

Think of it this way. You got money, career, car and house and would there be any reason for your potential date to say no? There is a lesser risk of rejection. Snap out of it man, dun worry over unimportant stuff. Rejection is really nothing bro.

[goodpartner]

Bro Aesthetic, sorry I didn't reply to some of the previous post u directed to me.

How's your attempt at dating/KC-ing those thai WL going?
I'm interested to know if your mileage with these ladies are longer.

[HCKing]

CCB.

no need to swing to the other extreme to be a beng wannabe la. just write like the way we lesser mortals write will be good enough.

[Softcore]

Let me share my experience.

I'm certain my intellectual capabilities fall somewhere similarly to the threadstarter's. In fact, I have been criticised for thinking too much in the past. The older I got, the more I realised that, shit, I'd rather be focused about the things that matter (career, poker, fitness) and be laidback about everything else (women, liquor, nightlife). I love going to parties, meeting new people, witty banter, chatter, et cetera. Yes, I work in Sales.

It's not so much what you say, but what you are emoting when you say it. As an example: On a good day, my telecall rate in securing appointments can be as high as 80%. It usually fluctuates between 50% to 60%. On a not-so-good day, I'd be lucky to hit 20%. What I say in every conversation is always new - I do not operate with a fixed script. People aren't really listening to what you say - sure they are, but how you say it matters much more. Confidence, interest, and value can all be sensed intuitively.

Women crave excitement. Period. The same goes for men. Would you be interested in a girl if she was boring as shit?

Have you ever considered that the reason why some girls like bad boys is because they don't value themselves enough? Because they are insecure, they seek validation and affirmation from bad boys whom they can mother and nurture, thereby indirectly enhancing their self-worth.

Then of course, you also have those who like bad boys because they are exciting. You don't have to be an asshole to get girls - just be random.

FYI, my Myer-Biggs Personality Indicator fluctuates between an ENTP and an ENFP.

As a final suggestion, pick up poker mate. Your thinking will enable you to win in the long run from the game's mathematical nature (Expected Value). Table image is another ballgame altogether.

You appear to be genuinely interested in improving, and I find that to be an excellent quality.

Dating multiple females in a single instance seems to be the only most accurate manner of prediction as to observe how a set of samples react to a certain stimulus-in this case, a certain behavior. I think, this could be the only way to increase the steepness of the learning curve instead of placing an entire eggs in the basket. Now, the problem lies in how to meet a large sample size of females without having to step into the club.

Dude. What the hell man?

If this is how you talk to girls, no wonder you aren't getting any!


The thing is I don't even try to impress. Alpha in what sense? I don't like to put on a tougher front than I am. I am real, sensitive at most instance and yet it seems to be causing me to lose out to other guys.
I am also puzzle in learning about the transition in behavioral and cognitive patterns in a female who has transited from a state of "single hood" to a state of "being in a relationship". Commonly, there is the imperative that single girls who are being pursued are turn-off by guys who provides to them an outlet for emotional tantrum. There seems to be a 'rule' that if you are too emotionally available for them, they tend to lose interest in you. Yet however, the equation is reverse the moment they enter into an exclusive relationship with a guy. Upon so, they demand a heighten attention from their partner. Is this purely biological or is it a matter of a manipulative play of dating game?

Simple: You want what you cannot get. But once you have it, you want 'it' to give you its fullest attention to compensate for the opportunity cost. In other words, said girl wants you to give her all the loving and attention because she will not be getting it from other suitors. Simple economics mate.

[Reoxy]

TS,

Intelligent people tend not to make grammatical mistakes. No consistencies in your posts. A lot of big words followed by a load of grammatical mistakes.

[Gaofar]

Goodness gracious Bro Aesthetic! Do not sees building human relationship like an equation formula! My god, even quantum/chaos theory would not be able to predict human behaviours accurately!..

Stop using probabilities or statistics to factor your level of chances. The way that you employ no wonder people starts to back off when you asked to get into a relationship with them. You remind me of Sheldon of the "Big Bang Theory" sitcom you know?..

Anyway, first you must understand your current grounds and you must accept judgments or criticisms from a 3rd party as you will be too "obscured" in your mind to see what you are doing, though you might keep telling people and yourself that you have done absolutely nothing wrong.. Simple analogy: if you keep saying or thinking that you are not wrong, then why the reception that you have been keep receiving?

To most ladies out there, to have you as a friend, a "join-us-for-a-chat" person would be great to have an odd moment of entertainment to be with.. But to be tied down just like that requires some serious guts/commitments from the girls..

Dude, you just have to learn how to get to "loosen" up yourself.. And by that definition isn't easy to learn suddenly.. You say that you are in the Army? Then just simply do what all others is doing in the daily routine aka, when others get down and dirty to get things done, join in the foray. In the end it's all about getting acceptance from your people all around you. And that my friend is how you can also get acceptance from girls... ;)

[makemecum]

You're getting the wrong impression. I know I'm intelligent but I do not impress upon her as being more superior. I find it difficult to find interest in taking about the usual family, friends, and more general topics. What are some ways I can improve. What is also wrong with being nice (I'm not a pushover).

first lowerr yo intelligent
talk stupidly to her maybe u can communicate better wih her?:confused:

[mentholfresh]

To say one is smart and intelligent and let it be known to others is stupid.

There's many around u that are just as smart, just that they don show.

If u pretend to be a pig, u can eat many tigers.

[makemecum]

To say one is smart and intelligent and let it be known to others is stupid.

There's many around u that are just as smart, just that they don show.

If u pretend to be a pig, u can eat many tigers.



TS is a pig acting like a tiger...hahhahaha:D

[mentholfresh]

TS is a pig acting like a tiger...hahhahaha:D

ha ha, hmm, maybe I should share my exp when I was a pig (stupid or silly, not good at using my brain yet) many years back, and surprising I actually ate a tiger) :P

[Demonkin7]

Dating multiple females in a single instance seems to be the only most accurate manner of prediction as to observe how a set of samples react to a certain stimulus-in this case, a certain behavior. I think, this could be the only way to increase the steepness of the learning curve instead of placing an entire eggs in the basket. Now, the problem lies in how to meet a large sample size of females without having to step into the club.

A rather long hardcore high IQ story...
I just came out of my in-camp training.
Xiao Didi gals r not the only thing in life u need to prove ur existance.
Doing sampling is a lot of hardwork n require a lot of resources, I am one who learned the hard way.
There are other ways to do it.

Suspected melancholic depression; the histrionic tendencies as part of the symptoms of melancholic depression does not apply to everyone. Further medical assessments are required to ascertain a more accurate diagnosis. The symptoms I have are only suicidal tendencies, void, anhedonia, physically unmotivated to move, mentally tired and related. I don't want to even be dating girls or interacting with people now.

1) To be honest how long have u been suffering from 'depression'?
2) How often do you shows, feel or exibit tirness, lack of energy, not motivated to do anything, etc... in a week?

Honestly if you want to learn how to be socially active and enabled, try laughing at yourself once in a while or take up some social skills. If need to can always come to a therapy centre and take up the course. Of course you will be assess based on your medical condition before you can take up the course to further assist yourself in your social mindset.

Be yourself.
Learn to laugh and smile.
Look in the mirror and smile then learn how to smile correctly, not those lusty smirk.
Please post message in simple english that all can read without referring to www.dictionary.com. Too most big words is not going to get u a gal unless she is having similar capacity as u, meaning similar situation and other stuff thrown in.
Chances of meeting such a gal will be like best ... 1%.
So learn to talk on normal level that most can understand, big words will get you nowhere with what you hope to achieve.
Never try to catch a fish with a cat, unless it is some big fish like sharks or something else that eat cats...

Just my 5 cents worth

[Toyota Honda]

I felt that I always have issue getting into a exclusive relationship with the opposite gender.

At 22 years old, intelligent and physically attractive, my dates with the opposite gender never transcend beyond the initial physical attraction.

Take the recent girl who rejected me a few months back, she never rejected my dates and her replies to me were almost always instant, although, granted that I was always the one initiating texts and dates. We flirted over texts regularly but the moment I confessed, I was rejected. We went out a couple of times-6times-over a course of few months; silence are common on our date since I am aware she can't measure up to my intellectual capacity, so I settled to listening to her go about her families, friends and work. Well, I'm fine with it. I listen to her rants abouts work frustrations and stress. I pay for dates, and even after they got attached, I ended up having to pay for their due share if we happened to went out. Experiencing a few rejection consecutively from different girls frustrates me a lot and I find myself viewing the opposite gender in a misogynistic lens; consequentially because I do not know what is it that I'm lacking or doing wrong even after evaluation and post-factum reference to my dating patterns. These girls whom I've went out with on a date aren't top models, in any, just your average Jane. She did once complain that she find it difficult to talk to me because I was too 'deep'. Sometime after rejection, I asked what was the cause that lead to my rejection and all I got was "you're nice but you need some luck". Typical clinch bullshit. Could the reason be because I lack skills in playing the dating game? I intuit that effort no longer count for as much as someone who is skilled at playing the dating game. It seems like I could spend months of effort and yet fail whereas some guys would need only to spend a month or two just to get into a relationship.


I want to do something about it. I hate being in the position whereby some other guys enter the picture midway into my pursue after the girl, or, having to see the girl date some other guy shortly after I've been rejected. Its a bitter feeling. Its a recurring pattern which always happened to me and I'm frustrated. I'm not looking to win her back because given my anger at the rejector, coupled with my pride, I would never accept a relationship with anyone who rejected me. I've been diagnosed with melancholy depression and this is one of the issues at play that which is affecting me. I can't get over the fact that I've been failing.

Y do you have to use bombastic English? Just look at the bold wordings/sentences I have made. There are many sentences after which I am lazy to even bold anymore.

Bro, you may be smart, but its not a case of others are being stupid. If I am smart enough, I dun mind being with someone who is smarter, so long as he doesn't show it.

My sense is...

If you are smart, you can easily bring yourself lower for her to match for the fact that you are smart.

But if you are stupid, you can't even reach the top. Or in your case, you dun know how to lower cos you can't adjust yourself. And that is not smart.

Think over.

[ryajon]

Relative to the dating scene, yes, perhaps so. Your argument that I tend to use big words is not a valid one; technical one perhaps, but the nature of the words we deployed is often reflected in our percept of the world.

Anyway, get serious. I'm looking for concrete suggestions.

if you are really looking for concrete suggestions, then don't take our comments as joke. We are not joking with you :p

I think these are the solutions for you(just my two cents)
1. You should date NUS or MIT scholars, im sure you have more chemistry with them.

2. You should try joining associations like Lions Club, Toastmasters, SPE etc. You will have the chance to use the big words and the girls will be impressed with you.

3. Change your mindset. Girls are befriending you, not befriending your books. Show some personality, not show what you read in books.

4. Change your mindset. I sometimes don't pay for meal with girls, I dont feel ashamed when they say they gonna pay for the dinner. I treat them as friend, that lifts some pressure off them.

5. I don't care what the girls think about me.

6. Alas, have respect for others. They can feel it if you look down on her.

7. Practise more, talk more to girls, don't write, but talk. You could even flirt with salesgirls as practice. Don't worry, they are paid to entertain you.

[ryajon]

I'm surprised there's someone who knows is familiar with the Myber-Briggs type Indicator. I've been tested for an INTJ on multiple frequency since a young boy, ranking high on I, N and T dimension. The girls whom I've dated are ESFJ. I understand it is a bad combination. I club but rarely, and whenever I club, let lose and am half-drunk, I get girls. The same cannot be said when I am not under the alcoholic influence. I can drink a lot and am a very strong drinker. I suspect so, a lot of people informed me that I appear cold, distant and nonchalant in my body language and facial expression, and often looking into blank space when they're conversing. But the fact isn't that I am unconcerned with them, I just am processing through the information from them and thinking of a well-constructed and useful reply. I care more than I can express, and body and verbal expression while are typically an indicator of one's interest and intentions, does not hold true for me.
\Then... drink something before you met someone. I tried this :D:D:D

[ryajon]

Suspected melancholic depression; the histrionic tendencies as part of the symptoms of melancholic depression does not apply to everyone. Further medical assessments are required to ascertain a more accurate diagnosis. The symptoms I have are only suicidal tendencies, void, anhedonia, physically unmotivated to move, mentally tired and related. I don't want to even be dating girls or interacting with people now.

:confused::confused::confused:wah piang....

[ryajon]

ya right ;) and i heard lately that pigs can fly

And from where did you deduce that conclusion? Burden of proof lies on you. I do not go round telling people of my achievements. Achievement, does not reflect anything about one's mindset, principle and personality. It would help if you eliminate your slander, and, baseless accusations.[/QUOTE]

I really enjoy your posts, my english improved a lot :)

[Medusa]

never doubt a woman sixth sense...i find you too haughty and arrogant too without even seeing you...its a kind of feeling which is god's gift to women...so stop arguing so much and repent on yourself would helps more =)

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Have been disconnected in almost all area of interests. Doctor ascertain that I am suffering from MDD; its better I seek psychological closure.

How's your RP training?
Completed liao? ;)

[goodpartner]

I really enjoy your posts, my english improved a lot :)

I was equally impressed when I first read his first thread on STD concern too. How does someone, local Chinese, acquire such level of vocabulary and learn to construct sentences like these really intrigue me. I know of others who read a lot since young, or grow up in an English-speaking family, but even then none come near to that. I think it's not just about good english but it's the way chim vocab are used, but things like "Burden of proof lies on you"... Wow, I would just write in Engrish "You proof la!". :D

[redliquid]

Bro,

I know exactly how you feel!!!!

Have you read the book??? THE GAME????

I didnt complete the book until today honestly.

Just be yourself!!! social interaction starts when you open up about yourself by sharing about yourself to your date and naturally she will share about herself too. You have to feel fun to make the day with your date fun!!!!

When you guys are quiet, make fun of ppl around you. whisper quietly into her ears. keep the interaction going with the flow.

My advice: Motion creates Emotion


I felt that I always have issue getting into a exclusive relationship with the opposite gender.

At 22 years old, intelligent and physically attractive, my dates with the opposite gender never transcend beyond the initial physical attraction.

Take the recent girl who rejected me a few months back, she never rejected my dates and her replies to me were almost always instant, although, granted that I was always the one initiating texts and dates. We flirted over texts regularly but the moment I confessed, I was rejected. We went out a couple of times-6times-over a course of few months; silence are common on our date since I am aware she can't measure up to my intellectual capacity, so I settled to listening to her go about her families, friends and work. Well, I'm fine with it. I listen to her rants abouts work frustrations and stress. I pay for dates, and even after they got attached, I ended up having to pay for their due share if we happened to went out. Experiencing a few rejection consecutively from different girls frustrates me a lot and I find myself viewing the opposite gender in a misogynistic lens; consequentially because I do not know what is it that I'm lacking or doing wrong even after evaluation and post-factum reference to my dating patterns. These girls whom I've went out with on a date aren't top models, in any, just your average Jane. She did once complain that she find it difficult to talk to me because I was too 'deep'. Sometime after rejection, I asked what was the cause that lead to my rejection and all I got was "you're nice but you need some luck". Typical clinch bullshit. Could the reason be because I lack skills in playing the dating game? I intuit that effort no longer count for as much as someone who is skilled at playing the dating game. It seems like I could spend months of effort and yet fail whereas some guys would need only to spend a month or two just to get into a relationship.


I want to do something about it. I hate being in the position whereby some other guys enter the picture midway into my pursue after the girl, or, having to see the girl date some other guy shortly after I've been rejected. Its a bitter feeling. Its a recurring pattern which always happened to me and I'm frustrated. I'm not looking to win her back because given my anger at the rejector, coupled with my pride, I would never accept a relationship with anyone who rejected me. I've been diagnosed with melancholy depression and this is one of the issues at play that which is affecting me. I can't get over the fact that I've been failing.

[arsenal_84]

And from where did you deduce that conclusion? Burden of proof lies on you. I do not go round telling people of my achievements. Achievement, does not reflect anything about one's mindset, principle and personality. It would help if you eliminate your slander, and, baseless accusations.

this is not a law forum...i believe social escorts should be able to entertain your line of thoughts.
besides it will be easy money for them if you only just talk with them.