What a jerk!!! Muahahahaha!

[D^KnighT]

(Conversations are originate in Chinese)

Prostitute: Laoban, want to go?

Customer: Go where?

Prostitute: Go make love?

Customer: Go where make love?

Prostitute: (pointing to the hotel) There lor.

Customer: hmm... can you make love as good as my girlfriend?

Prostitute: I confirm can make love so much better than your girlfriend.

Customer: You sure?

Prostitute: Very sure.

Customer: Confirm something my girlfriend can give me but you can't.

Prostitute: I sure can give.

Customer: My girlfriend can give me for FREE!!!

Prostitute: Fuck you.

Customer: Thanks for the offer.

:D

[sadfa]

(Conversations are originate in Chinese)

:D

bro, u used these lines? quite good. next time remember n must use.

[D^KnighT]

bro, u used these lines? quite good. next time remember n must use.


Aiya... that time with a group of samsters, shopping around GL then happen to come back a not bad chick stand around and she kept on smiling. I was thinking how will she look like when she is angry so I went to test water... wakakakaka... I got the result I wanted... hehehehe. :D

[sadfa]

I was thinking how will she look like when she is angry so I went to test water... wakakakaka... I got the result I wanted... hehehehe. :D

quite good. must remember all these lines when tcss with all these meimei.

[jdi813]

wah kao bro ... that's a good one ... :D

[actblur]

hahaha... think that a good way to get rid those persist gals.

Was there last night with my freind and one of the PRC gal there (think lor 14) grab me so tight that can feel her neh neh with my arm! Shiok :D In the end just push her away gently cos no budget liao... :(

[dradonsnake77]

hahahahaha... my wife burst in2 big hearty laughters upon reading ur jokes... kinda crude but fun... :p

[newbadass]

Hahahah.... I am not such a lan jiao lang... :D this is the worst I have ever said:- (chinese)

Girl: (Keep pestering customer to take her out for dinner) I am hungry!!

Customer: (Tired and a little irritated) Actually I am a bit hungry also.

Girl: See? Come lah, treat me to dinner....

Customer: I have a better idea....

Girl: ...what idea?

Customer: We both hungry right? Why don't you eat me first, then I eat you...

Girl: !!!!!

PS. That only managed to shut her up for 15 minutes

[DT23]

everyday i learn something at this forum...

[santaizi]

wow wow wow!!!!

[sadfa]

Hahahah.... I am not such a lan jiao lang... :D this is the worst I have ever said:- (chinese)
PS. That only managed to shut her up for 15 minutes

this 1 veri good also.

btw last time charbor tell me the same thing, i told her she hungry, she can eat banana. her face black black. hahaha. later on got eat lah! or is it b4 she ask?

[lesnar]

[QUOTE=D^KnighTCustomer: Confirm something my girlfriend can give me but you can't.

Prostitute: I sure can give.

Customer: My girlfriend can give me for FREE!!!
[/QUOTE]

Wah liao...this is really funny....

[lssah]

(Conversations are originate in Chinese)

Customer: Thanks for the offer.

:D

Bro, this is not against you, but you are really wicked to give such reply! ha! ha!

[ang076]

Funny jokes.. but this had nothing to do with HC/ KTV right?

:D

[santaizi]

Funny jokes.. but this had nothing to do with HC/ KTV right?

:D

not really
you can use this joke to sian hc/ktv girl if you want.
correct?
hee....

[nitetcrawler]

Bro D^KnighT and newbadass, Thanks for the advice. Im sure it would come handy one of these days. Sorry not in a position to up your points.

[newbadass]

Bro D^KnighT and newbadass, Thanks for the advice. Im sure it would come handy one of these days. Sorry not in a position to up your points.

Suah lah... who needs points... :o
If I make joke, just give me face.... pretend to laugh I happy liao.

[tungsten]

I am willing to offer my banana for the WL to makan :D

[nitetcrawler]

Suah lah... who needs points... :o
If I make joke, just give me face.... pretend to laugh I happy liao.

Ok. Give face. :D

[DeanPaul36]

ya man! hahahahaha bros D^knight n newbadas, good jokes u share!
layly laugh not pretend laugh!hhahahaha!

[Sha_Gua75]

seen this joke somewhere b4... :D

[hAvAnAs]

next time must try this also...

PRC: lao ban, wanna be friends?

YOU: how much?

PRC: $100

YOU: got any special one or not?

PRC: got...i have alot of special moves !

YOU: that side got one local girl also give me special...sure u can't give me the same special treatment one...

PRC: sure can one! what special tell me!

YOU: discount loh...

:D

[D^KnighT]

hahahahaha... my wife burst in2 big hearty laughters upon reading ur jokes... kinda crude but fun... :p


kekeke... once awhile is good to have laughters together, brighten up the day. :D

[D^KnighT]

Hahahah.... I am not such a lan jiao lang... :D this is the worst I have ever said:- (chinese)

Girl: (Keep pestering customer to take her out for dinner) I am hungry!!

Customer: (Tired and a little irritated) Actually I am a bit hungry also.

Girl: See? Come lah, treat me to dinner....



KNN! You call me lan jiao lang is it... kekekekeke. :p

[D^KnighT]

Bro D^KnighT and newbadass, Thanks for the advice. Im sure it would come handy one of these days. Sorry not in a position to up your points.


No one give me points leh... sob sob sob. :(

[Strider_sG]

i think the whole bunch of us can go write sotry book liao...sure best seler one...as for pts i also waiting for ppl to give...as 4 u i gave u liao so bo bian....

[newbadass]

seen this joke somewhere b4... :D

Not surprised... a lot of stuff recycled to sian girls. D^Knight's line I think I saw in an email or adult jokebook somewhere. And as for mine, an ex-gf said it to me when I was young and impressionable. :D Don't know where she got it.

[newbadass]

KNN! You call me lan jiao lang is it... kekekekeke. :p

People working you go and di xiao xiao waste their time... not lan jiao lang then what? Hahaha.... :cool:

[D^KnighT]

People working you go and di xiao xiao waste their time... not lan jiao lang then what? Hahaha.... :cool:

Call me an ASSSSSSSSSSHOLEEEEEEEEEEE if you want... wahahahaha... capture from the show 'Meet the Fockers'. :D

[D^KnighT]

i think the whole bunch of us can go write sotry book liao...sure best seler one...as for pts i also waiting for ppl to give...as 4 u i gave u liao so bo bian....


Down here no business leh... no one want to charity their points to me leh... sob sob sob... :(

Maybe I should try posting in the Geylang thread and sees what happened... kekeke. :D

[wahpiang]

No one give me points leh... sob sob sob. :(

ok lah. since you asked.... hehe.... btw, i leave no name and no trace. anyway, it was nice having to meet up with you.

[D^KnighT]

ok lah. since you asked.... hehe.... anyway, it was nice having to meet up with you.

Bro, was nice meeting up with you and RJ as well and will like to have much to chat about with you but freaking U-Turn is too smokey for my health to handle so got to part early with GStringGal as my head was already spinning.

Hope there will be another opportunity on a Monday to meet up with you for kopi. :)

[wahpiang]

KNN! You call me lan jiao lang is it... kekekekeke. :p

well, you don't have a cb so can't call you cb lang. kekekeke. btw, i also lan jiao lang. :D

[wahpiang]

Bro, was nice meeting up with you and RJ as well and will like to have much to chat about with you but freaking U-Turn is too smokey for my health to handle so got to part early with GStringGal as my head was already spinning.

Hope there will be another opportunity on a Monday to meet up with you for kopi. :)

ya. that place ceiling too low. if dun die from smoking, the second hand smoke will do the job. haha!

definitely there will be opportunities. its just the timing must coincide...

[D^KnighT]

stay tune... :cool:

[Strider_sG]

Down here no business leh... no one want to charity their points to me leh... sob sob sob... :(

Maybe I should try posting in the Geylang thread and sees what happened... kekeke. :D
well sorry to hear wat happen yesterday....anyway my hse on bo??? u plan n let me know can...i just got back but no bonk...was doing something serious... u come me hse n u will know liao....

[Strider_sG]

stay tune... :cool:
stay tune for wat???? another outing...mai lah...i sibei afraid liao...i think we go kopi muz stay far away from some places especially BS....hahahahaha...go there alot of ppl tempted leh...

[D^KnighT]

well sorry to hear wat happen yesterday....anyway my hse on bo??? u plan n let me know can...i just got back but no bonk...was doing something serious... u come me hse n u will know liao....

I have no problem bro... as long as I am not sick, I can fulfill my promise and be there at the destination. How about the rest... is your house leh, you think KTV meh... ask me to plan, later got about 50 samsters appear at your house how... wakakakaka. :D

[D^KnighT]

stay tune for wat???? another outing...mai lah...i sibei afraid liao...i think we go kopi muz stay far away from some places especially BS....hahahahaha...go there alot of ppl tempted leh...


Stay tune for a flame war which is about the start soon lor... kekekeke... since I have nothing better to do and since someone started it then I continue playing with him lor... kekeke...

My days in SB are numbered so I have nothing to loose... rep points to me are not important since they are not exchangable to cash anyway... kekeke...

Some people do not know the difference between a joke, a fact and using the joke on other people's family... these people really need to be educated... kekeke.

Lao Jiao in the forum doesn't mean you are a Lao Jiao in the society... sorry to say... ;)

[cuntarow]

well bro take it easy lah :)

[mark66]

brother d^KNIGHT you're fucking funny dude.. up your point already.. help u hit 200

[D^KnighT]

brother d^KNIGHT you're fucking funny dude.. up your point already.. help u hit 200


Though I know that this section is mend for jokes but how can you up my points if your nick have 0 rep ability... you are funny too... kekeke :D

Anyway, thanks for the support bro. :)

[Strider_sG]

Though I know that this section is mend for jokes but how can you up my points if your nick have 0 rep ability... you are funny too... kekeke :D

Anyway, thanks for the support bro. :)
hahahaha..it will be a grey mark...no pts added though...hahahahaha....

[santaizi]

Though I know that this section is mend for jokes but how can you up my points if your nick have 0 rep ability... you are funny too... kekeke :D

Anyway, thanks for the support bro. :)

ya, he can added.
but no pt added nia.
only grey mark is shown.

[newbadass]

Strange... got zapped for my post here. Was it something I said?

[santaizi]

Strange... got zapped for my post here. Was it something I said?

no
people got nothing better to do mah. hee

[newbadass]

Or maybe that person is a WL. Hahahaha

[santaizi]

Or maybe that person is a WL. Hahahaha

change avatar to the shirt you bought ar? hee..

[D^KnighT]

change avatar to the shirt you bought ar? hee..


Your avatar is the T-Shirt you are wearing today isn't it... hmm... :confused:

[santaizi]

Your avatar is the T-Shirt you are wearing today isn't it... hmm... :confused:

nope. same design only.
the avatar logo is not taken from my shirt. hee...

[newbadass]

This one is not really about me being a jerk, but here goes:

I was at my regular massage parlour in Chinatown and the lau chio lady boss (whom I've known since she was one of the girls) was servicing me for my usual 20 bucks. We were bantering away as usual while she applied her magic with her super stroking fingers, because I wanted to distract myself from finishing too soon.

She was in one of those moods, so she lowered her head on my dick and started a BBBJ. And just then I said (in chinese):

"Use hand and mouth I pay you... use anything else you pay me."

I didn't think it was that funny, but she started laughing and because my dick was in her mouth, she choked and her teeth clamped down painfully on the base! :eek: OUCH!

Moral of the story: Don't disturb people while they are eating.

Cheers!

[gremio82]

Let me share 1 but not related to HC and KTV. Taking a gamble on points liao.....

The Lady's Version

Dear Tech Support:


Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running
Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail!!


What can I do?


Desperate

Answer from Technical:

Dear Desperate:


First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command: C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0. If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically
run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly. WAV files. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.



Good Luck,


Tech Support
************************************************

[gremio82]

The Guy's Version


Dear (IT) Technical Support:


I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected child processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources. This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Boys Night Out 2.5, and Golf 5.3 no longer run and crash the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate Saturday Rugby 6.3 always fails but Saturday Shopping 7.1 runs instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favourite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 but uninstall doesn't work on this program.

Can you please help?


Joe


Answer From Technical


Dear Joe,


This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is a PERATING SYSTEM designed by its creator to run everything. You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0 as Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the system once installed. Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See in manual under alimony/Child Support and Solicitors Fees). Having Wife 1.0 installed myself I recommend you keep it installed and deal with the difficulties as best you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the C:\I APOLOGISE program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-key. It may be necessary to run C:\I APOLOGISE a number of times but hopefully eventually the operating system will return to normal. Wife 1.0 although a very high maintenance program can be very rewarding. To get the most out of it consider buying additional software such as Flowers 2.0 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not under any circumstances install Secretary (Short Skirt version) as this is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly crash.


Regards,


Technical support