Rocky marriage..

[Genting01]

Hi all forumers,

Just wanted to write as I have no one I think I can confide with.

I'm married for almost 6 months (with no kids). I've not had much sexual life with my wify since marriage. And prior to our marriage we do not have an active sex life. Our marriage has been rocky due to our differences in thinking (She has a much negative thinking than I like) and her family's constant expectations from me, treating as if my wife is the only human that needs care and I'm born to make sure things go well with her while I should be able to handle my own probs (Covers areas including financial and mental).
She can sense some problems and she did initiate a talk but I'm somehow unwilling to. Before I asked for her hand in marriage, I know its not purely out of love. She has had no luck with jobs and she has aging parents to care for. I thought I can share her burden, take care of her and hope for things to turn for better. So I know I'm an asshole to some as I did not marry her out of love but on naive thinking and hope for better days.
Throughout the past months, I've had thoughts of a divorce more than once. During this time, I've kept in contact with an ex-classmate who is engaged to her bf. No thoughts about having an affair with her because I know I'm married.
Complication comes when now I'm having a crush with a colleague of mine who is 6 years my senior. My constant thought now is should I hold on to the marriage as I've heard ppl saying 'love takes time to nurture' or 'you may not marry the one you loved most'. Or maybe should I pursue further with this colleague of mine (who has showered me with attention beyond colleague) and see if I can fight for a happier life.

Thanks for reading or comments and my apologies for the poor language as I'm just typing out my thoughts without thinking much on perfecting the language

BR

[exskk]

Hi try talk things out with your wife... It is very important for couple to communicate for better understanding.

[astronaut]

Don't do anything silly. All women are about the same. No one is perfect. If its not these it will be something else that you will not be happy about. Just look at the things you marry her for and luxuriate in them. A marriage without conflicts is almost inconceivable as a nation without crisis.

[SharkAttack]

TS, do the right thing for yourself. Talk it out with you current wife. If things dont get better by 1month do it.

As for your crush or whatever, if you think its a better deal and would mean a more stable and sex-fulfilling one then go for it.

Regardless of your choice, always do you best. 1 life live it to your fullest

[bg102]

Hey bro

I think you are not in a good situation, instead of divorce, maybe you should think of trying to get an annulment, since only 6 months. Don't know if possible but try. this way both of you are "never" married before instead of being divorced.

I suggest you to move on and not hold on to something that would most likely not improve for you.

[zoorich]

Bro,

Have a good talk with your wife. I have been thro a divorce and its not fun bro. Thou it mainly my fault for my own divorce and till now i kept regretting thinking what i can do more to save my marriage.

I hope you will do your best to save yours. Don't wait till its too late.

[magical]

Bro,

Of all forums u chose to ask for advice here, we are all perverts.

Show us some pictures and tell us some stories for heaven's sake.

But let me share with you the secret of a sucessful marriage,

It's still a secret, nobody can offer you any advice, sorry for being straight.

Cheers

[acidicavex]

No offense bro do yourself and your spouse a big big favor. Have a talk discuss how to go about it. Cause you will be the one most likely to cause her grief and pain.

So time to face reality than to ignore it and let it end up in misery. So do the right thing for u n wife n her aged parent.

You know better than any of us here you already have a answer just want some moral support and convincing to make yourself feel less guilty.

[littlepok]

i will suggest let ur little bro do the talking. please do not get me wrong. sometimes, sex is not just for brother pleasure, it is good bonding period. this could be 1 of the reasons why u are drifting apart. if ur sex life is getting boring, do it differently. for example, different style, different venue (1 night stay at nice hotel) etc. tools and DVD also fine but i guess she is not ready for them. sound conservative and slightly dead fish to me.

my gf and soon-to-be wife does not give me the greatest sex to little bro but the close feelings make up for it. still can cuddle and laze on bed, unlike FL go bathe, dress up and rush to next client, leave u and sleeping bro on bed.

have more frequent sex and u will find chatting on bed is much closer than ever before. tell her about your thoughts slowly on bed. u will find how easy it is to talk about such problems as ur pressure is released momentarily after bursting your cum. hope all goes well from there.

PS: there is no perfect woman/wife (u are not perfect to her also). it's how u accept each other for who they are. for now, u think your senior colleague is better but even if u got together with her, u will feel another woman is even better. the cycle will never end. it's knowing how to be contented that u will be truly happy.

best wishes

[liberatte]

Many men kiss their wife goodbye when thry leave their house... Many more kiss their house goodbye when they leave their wife...

If you're just thinking about yourself... Then leave her and see what happens. I am saddened by the fact that its just 6 months... Stay patient.. if she's a flop with something (jobs) it doesn't mean shes a flop in everything. She may be a good mom...

[H2001]

HavE a talk with her . Ur love for ur senior is maybe just a one off think .

[ah rat]

Ts,talk to her and improve yours sexual life with yours wife.It bring you closure to her :)

[Ngengheng]

Hi all forumers,

She has had no luck with jobs and she has aging parents to care for. I thought I can share her burden, take care of her and hope for things to turn for better.

BR

Give it a shot bro. There is love out there. If u willing to share her burden it means u love her.

[yang punk]

TS

You appear immature and fickle minded. Even if you were to leave your wife now and go for your colleague, the relationship will not last and soon you will find fault with her too.

Why don't you give yourself more time to examine the reasons why you chose to marry your wife in the first place? :rolleyes:

[analog]

Hi all forumers,

Just wanted to write as I have no one I think I can confide with.

I'm married for almost 6 months (with no kids). I've not had much sexual life with my wify since marriage.
Complication comes when now I'm having a crush with a colleague of mine who is 6 years my senior.
BR

Bro:

Sorry to hear about your problems...i quoted only part of your initial post....
If you're only married 6 months and you guys aren't ripping your clothes off each other at every opportunity.....its done mate. In fact, from what you wrote, it never was. You have nothing there I'm afraid.

You're newlyweds, you should be having WILD sex right now and from what you've said, you've never had wild sex.

Your colleague is a side issue and not the point.

Get divorced and start again, you don't have any kids, do it now.

Cheers,
jim

[freezetheDB]

bro TS,

try your best to work out the marriage. It it doesnt work out u know u have tried and just move on.

Its sad if you give up the fight barely six months into the marriage

[Toyota Honda]

TS, sorry for being blunt. I think you are the one with problem. Who told you that life is a bed of roses? You are giving up just because you are facing problems. You are just being irresponsible.

Instead of trying to work things out, you are running away and make it sound like ts your wife's fault for being
1) negative thinkging,
2) needing your care and concern when you should really be giving her those since you decide to marry her.


But you don't seem to think that its your fault for having thoughts about your friend and colleague.

I advise you to divorce so that your wife can and will find someone better.

[Genting01]

Hi all,

Thanks for all the comments. Its all mature and constructive feedback.

I nv felt its my wify's prob as I'm the one who proposed and I'm the one who thought issues are simple and can be overcome given time and opportunity.
Its the sense of responsibility that's holding me back and if I'm around, least I could do is to support her financially and give her moral support while I can...

I agreed my crush with my colleague should not come into picture, though she did give me the sense and feeling to care for her and share life with her which I nv felt till now...

Perhaps as some of you said, I should give more time to the marriage...

Thanks for reading

[n30n]

TS, if you haven talk with your wife about all these, what makes you think your marriage is over and should see solace outside?

You haven even try to work things out with her.
Whatever stated here are your doubts that you need to clarify with her and find solutions with her.
No point asking here. We're not your wife.

[audacious]

Women are damn troublesome. Better to fuck them and then run far far away.

[callmebad]

well, your marriage is only 6 months and yet to have kids

you married not out of love but with the naive hope that things can somehow take care of itself

but now you are finding it hard and your mind starts to wonder around

I think you should end it, if this marriage can't hold, no point dragging on

the longer you drag, the more you will suffer damage later

the longer the woman is with you, she can ask you more money as alimony and even can have a share of your house

if nothing is worthwhile holding, don't drag on and worst still later on 3rd parties ( your kids) also can get drag in, more pain or collateral damage

I speak to you based on my own personal experience.

Few months after the marriage, I began to have doubts and asked myself , is this the kind of life I'm going to endure till death?

I said no and initiated a divorce

I know many people may scold me as a selfish asshole, but till today I have no regrets about my decision

[stone08]

Better get out while there are no kids. Woman's chapter have stomped alot of men.

[officehour]

Brother,

Only six month from your big day and you thinking of leaving her? What about the vow and for sure you dont marry her because you pitty her right? There must be some love from it. Unless you telling me you are only 18 this year.

Since you know she got lots of commitment, you cant say anything as you know it before married! Now you cant take it and wan to run from it? You are a man and should show with action. Regrading for the sex part, try to teach her and explore! I do not know how long you guys date but communication is the best.

Welcome you to pm me and i explain more... Using tab to type kill me...

[jameschong1]

Hi all forumers,
I'm married for almost 6 months (with no kids).BR
=====
hey asshole, marry for only 6 months & u want to divorce? mary for 6 mths only & u have crush on other woman? u still think it's not your fault?

[vernal]

Thats a blessing. Better you get it over now than when you have children.

[Mr.Big]

TS, I think you have some serious problem which you need to settle quickly if not you will kill your happiness. You need to reflect upon yourself and know what you really want. Marriage is not just about yourself or your wife, it will also affect the family members around you. Going through divorce is no joke.

Although having sex is an important part of marriage life but I think the lack of sex, care and concern has led you to have a crush on your colleague. In some sense you may be treating your colleague as a substitute of your wife which is unfair for both ladies.


Also a lyric of a song from Queen:

TOO MUCH LOVE WILL KILL YOU, IF YOU CAN'T MAKE UP YOUR MIND.
TORN BETWEEN THE LOVERS, AND THE LOVE YOU LEAVE BEHIND.
YOU'RE HEADED FOR DISASTER 'COS YOU NEVER READ THE SIGNS
TOO MUCH LOVE WILL KILL YOU... EVERYTIME



Reflect upon yourself, and have a good talk with your wife to see how you can solve things together and after all you are husband and wife.

ps: When your wife don't give you sex, sometimes it may not be your problem, it could be hers, cause she might have some issues at heart which makes her can't set mood for sex even if she really loves you.

All the best!

Rgds,

Mr Big.

[wtfuad]

Hi ts, am in an almost similar situation with u. Think is I m not married as yet, but I have a flat which I m already already starting to pay for it. Well, I have confided with my best friends, and they told me to think with my heart. But my head always overrule cos of the responsibility to the girl, and I never forget the commitment I made when I proposed to her. Ppl might say it is stupid, but Probably cos they never experience such before and think how hard it is to think clearly. Probably the most responsible thing to do is to let her be with someone she really like, and the guy really like her. Say is easy. Do is hard. U might probably have six more months before u can annul your marriage? So, best is to talk to her, no holds barred. If need be, ask your very gd common fren along to talk, so that Probably both Of u might have an unbiased view to facilitate your talk. Just my IMHO

[Big Sexy]

bollocks..you married her knowing what type of person she is.. and now u want out because of what she is??

stop finding excuses for your fling..it's pathetic!




I'm married for almost 6 months (with no kids). I've not had much sexual life with my wify since marriage. And prior to our marriage we do not have an active sex life. Our marriage has been rocky due to our differences in thinking (She has a much negative thinking than I like) and her family's constant

[hunter12]

Hi all forumers,

Just wanted to write as I have no one I think I can confide with.

1) I'm married for almost 6 months (with no kids). I've not had much sexual life with my wify since marriage. And prior to our marriage we do not have an active sex life.

whether having an active sexual life is really not an important point.. more so when both of u already not having an active sexual life before married.. right? unless u having a very high sex drive yet your wife refuse to fulfill it.. but even she refuse to do it, there will be alot of reasons behind, have u bother to find out?

2) Our marriage has been rocky due to our differences in thinking (She has a much negative thinking than I like) and her family's constant expectations from me, treating as if my wife is the only human that needs care and I'm born to make sure things go well with her while I should be able to handle my own probs (Covers areas including financial and mental).

before marriage, i 'presume' u already know that she is already having a very negative thinking etc.... and also financial not well, infact, judging on what u say, is those type like really cannot make it, cannot survive type... but y after marriage than cry like a baby? since she having a hard life before marraige, dosent occur to u that u shld take care of her in all aspect, financial and mental, make her life happier, more worthwhile for her etc?

3) She can sense some problems and she did initiate a talk but I'm somehow unwilling to.

well, i respect u for u still have the cheek the say out this.. u r most likely going to shut off mode from her liao.. i guess....

4) Before I asked for her hand in marriage, I know its not purely out of love. She has had no luck with jobs and she has aging parents to care for. I thought I can share her burden, take care of her and hope for things to turn for better. So I know I'm an asshole to some as I did not marry her out of love but on naive thinking and hope for better days.

i dun know what u mean by that, then what it is... not purely out of love meaning?? there is still 'love'? 'indebtness'? 'being force'?

5) Throughout the past months, I've had thoughts of a divorce more than once. During this time, I've kept in contact with an ex-classmate who is engaged to her bf. No thoughts about having an affair with her because I know I'm married.

this got nothing to do with ur marriage i guess but trying to cushion off of what u r gg to say below.....

6) Complication comes when now I'm having a crush with a colleague of mine who is 6 years my senior. My constant thought now is should I hold on to the marriage as I've heard ppl saying 'love takes time to nurture' or 'you may not marry the one you loved most'. Or maybe should I pursue further with this colleague of mine (who has showered me with attention beyond colleague) and see if I can fight for a happier life.

so ur this female colleague appear in ur work place after ur marriage? and after 6 mths of showering loves n concerns... u feel that u have a future with her, better life with her..... if she is all along in ur company, than y after marriage, after 6 mths than u got this feeling with her?? because having a bad life with ur wife n u pour out with her n she 'sayan' u thus develop this type of feeling?

7) Thanks for reading or comments and my apologies for the poor language as I'm just typing out my thoughts without thinking much on perfecting the language

seriously, i dont think u r a asshole for leaving ur wife, but i think u r a damm asshole becuase of painting a very pathetic situation of urself, to find comfort here, hoping to see some reply to encourge u to get out of ur marriage... to strengthen ur thoughts of leaving ur wife....

u forget the vow u take, u forget the time ur wife make u happy, u forget the time when u down ur wife stood by urside.. (well if any of these happen la)


bollocks..you married her knowing what type of person she is.. and now u want out because of what she is??
stop finding excuses for your fling..it's pathetic!

I agreed whole heartedly..... it is just pure fickly minded....... there is no longer a value in the marriage vow, marriage certificate.... :D having to say that, i have to say i myself a asshole too... cause sometime, tend to wonder ard outisde and have side dishes.. but will never never ditch my wife for outisde dishes...

bro TS, hope u really sit down alone n think carefully of what u wan.... u r hurting not only urself but ur poor wife too especially she is already those negative thinking person liao... and she did nothing wrong.. she just b poor, n negative thinking that's all....

[kim-seng-heng]

Give it a try. You bound to love her alot and thats why you wanna marry her initially. Forget about your colleague and thats a lust.

[analog]

Bro:

Ignore all the preaching morons.....
You did not get married to become a monk.

if there is no sex, leave. PERIOD!

Cheers,
Jim

[earnest]

Bro:

Ignore all the preaching morons.....
You did not get married to become a monk.

if there is no sex, leave. PERIOD!

Cheers,
Jim

There is no need to get married just to have sex.

[Bangster]

TS,

Imagine your sexy colleague sucking the cocks of all your male colleagues and bosses every night. And your queue number is like, what, 30?

Wake up lah. She probably has so much sperm cocktail in her mouth and pussy she's gonna forget you in a jiffy

[ExtremelyClever]

Do you have any children? If not, then it may be a blessing in disguise. All the best bro

[lestubbsie]

Sometimes life needs a reset switch, and divorce lets you start all over again. If it gets to that extreme, just remember life goes on.

However, in your current state, start your conversation with your wife to remind the both of you of how happy you were during your wedding. Reminding yourself WHY you got married may instill some of those feelings again, and start the discussion from there. I wish you good luck and all the best!!

[Krazzie]

Bro, visit a counsellor or marriage counsellor and talk it over bah.

[Sirrus]

i will ask the most important question that every1 seems to miss out.

how old are you and ur wife?

[analog]

There is no need to get married just to have sex.


True, but its SUPPOSED to be nice a stable, same chick....
and, its buckets safer.

you're living in a dream world bro if you think using a condom means safe sex.

google this, and live:
condomreport.pdf

Cheers,
jim

[uxorious]

Both of you need to work on this. Tell her how serious is it. If she still bears you the affection she will hear you out and talk. But if she just ignore you then perhaps its better to split.