Husband that dont like Sex after giving birth

[Gandilf82]

Hi fellow people,

I have this friend who met this problem which i dont understand her husband even though i am a guy.

She complained that her husband dont like having sex or very tough to be aroused after they had a child.

It seemed that she has a much higher sex drive but her husband cant or dont provide her anymore so she has to find pleasure elsewhere, ending up feeling very guilty about it and thoughts of suicidal came into her mind.

Any advice would be appreciated.

[sta1100]

Maybe he has seen his wife give birth, and lost the mood for sex

[BigLad]

Her husband no longer finds it exciting to have sex with her anymore. So he eats out.

[chinjinjiang]

oic... that is bad... they should satisfy each others sexual need... they need counseling...

[Misunderstood]

It seemed that she has a much higher sex drive but her husband cant or dont provide her anymore so she has to find pleasure elsewhere, ending up feeling very guilty about it and thoughts of suicidal came into her mind.

Any advice would be appreciated.

He must had gotten used to the flowery world outside during the 9 months of pregnancy thus lost interest with the one at home.

Some women after pregnancy will become hornier, its a blessing for the faithful man but a curse for the unfaithful ones.

[IkNowUdeSireMe]

Her husband no longer finds it exciting to have sex with her anymore. So he eats out.

He most likely has eaten out and prefer outside food already.

[TonyLeung]

He must had gotten used to the flowery world outside during the 9 months of pregnancy thus lost interest with the one at home.

Some women after pregnancy will become hornier, its a blessing for the faithful man but a curse for the unfaithful ones.

i am not sure if you can put the blame entirely on the man because after the wife gives birth, she has to take care of the child for another stressful 3 to 6 months. sometimes she forgets that besides being the mother to the child, she also the wife of a man.

[naturegreen]

i am not sure if you can put the blame entirely on the man because after the wife gives birth, she has to take care of the child for another stressful 3 to 6 months. sometimes she forgets that besides being the mother to the child, she also the wife of a man.

Totally agree! But it's not easy having to be both a mother and wife at the same time so do give them credit.

[Botakhead]

Just all excuses larh, although I too eat outside, during my wife's 4 pregnancies, at the end of the day, I still go back and give her my love, my sex, my money.

It all cums down to how you handle the situations, be warned not every husband and wife behaves the same. Must be careful with emotions, do not play and leave trails behind, if not you will be in for a lot of trouble.

I honestly think that she should find out from her husband regarding the disinterest in having sex with her after childbirth. Is she a nagging wife, because, he may have no mood after her constant nagging. Sumtimes must have contact with each other to built up the intimacy tempo, slowly upgrade to cuddling, then of course, the baby may cry at certain point of time, get him to help out by asking nicely, don't fret and flare up, blaming won't help.

End of day we all just wants to be satisfied.:)

[Xgenre]

Always wanted to ask this. Besides seeing a purple and bloody head coming out from your wife's vagina, how does it smell in the delivery room? People also always joke about guys fainting in the delivery room. Do you know of any guys who fainted?

Perhaps the trauma from witnessing child birth is putting him off sex. Some of our grandparents have 10-20 kids. I think that high number of children is only possible because the grandfather wasn't made to witness the process of childbirth 10-20 times. Ladies should re-think and not force guys to go in to see what the ladies themselves can't see.

I like to fuck backside but it doesn't mean I love to watch you shit. :p

[Gandilf82]

What i had understand is he still have sex with her if she wants it sometimes but he is skipping all the foreplay.

Leaving behind a unsextified wife.

[jameschong1]

What i had understand is he still have sex with her if she wants it sometimes but he is skipping all the foreplay.

Leaving behind a unsextified wife.

=======
maybe he very sian to look at a big untidy hole after his wife give birth?

[hellogirls]

She can go eat outside, or with u. Then the hubby can do so too. Solve the problem

[Gandilf82]

Advice accepted but i feel bad in taking advantage of the situation though.

I believe she has this intention

[iswift]

Ts, could it be a hint to u ?
Seldom gal will tell others (guys) that they are not sextify at home.
This could well be a start to a FB relationship... Juz try your luck and push a little further.

[Gandilf82]

it issnt a hint, its pretty obvious though. Now i am caught in a dilemma.

We guys find FB can fuck and forget, girls is different. they will feel for you so end up, i might be breaking other people's family.

[Gandilf82]

It issnt a hint. Rather its pretty obvious.
I am caught in a dilemma.
We guys can fuck and forget but the girl if likes you , they will feel for you.
I might end up breaking other people family. Her husband is a nice father but not a good lover.

Ts, could it be a hint to u ?
Seldom gal will tell others (guys) that they are not sextify at home.
This could well be a start to a FB relationship... Juz try your luck and push a little further.

[water123]

it issnt a hint, its pretty obvious though. Now i am caught in a dilemma.

We guys find FB can fuck and forget, girls is different. they will feel for you so end up, i might be breaking other people's family.

She initiated. U can name yr terms, then fuck. Well she dont mind breaking up own family why u worry.

[iceage]

It issnt a hint. Rather its pretty obvious.
I am caught in a dilemma.
We guys can fuck and forget but the girl if likes you , they will feel for you.
I might end up breaking other people family. Her husband is a nice father but not a good lover.

If you cannot offer your help to her, I am sure many bros here would be glad to help.

[n00b_b0nker]

If you cannot offer your help to her, I am sure many bros here would be glad to help.

i agree! in the end it's a matter of settling your needs one way or another.

[minihim]

Gandilf82 i could help you solve the problem.... just intro her to me... then your problem solve.....
I promise that i will in any way try to keep their relationship together :)

[yang punk]

Being her fb is actually helping her marriage. Satisfy her sexually so that she goes home feeling guilty and will therefore treat her husband better. But do keep reminding her your intention is NOT to break up her family as her child needs both a father and mother...that you are there just to provide her moral support until such time her hubby's attitude towards sex with her changes. Teach her to be more proactive in bed with her hubby...that will gain you more brownie's point!

[Bebeque]

From a reading of the replies, one or a combination of more than one of the issues could be the reason(s) for the husband losing interests after the wife's pregnancy:
a husband ate out during and after pregnancy and now find home cooked food too plain;
b husband himself felt neglected for the months during and after pregnancy;
c because of baby, wife not so attentive to husband vs babdy and husband responding to this;
d both are adjusting to new experiences of being parents and that added even more stresses in their relationship;
e Husband finds wife's cxxx too loose after childbirth and does not give the same sensation as before and thus lost interests after a few sessions;

Whatever the reason(s), it appears both are having a problem. It will likely to get worse if nothing gets done to find out and hopefully resolve the underlying issues.

If FT is a good friend and knows this is a problem for the couple, best is for her to persuade them to seek some professional help for the problem. Visits to the neighbourhood or nearby local Family Counselling Unit will be a good starting point. More professional help can be considered, depending on the situation.

Good luck.

[Gandilf82]

Thanks bebeque. The wife had suggested that before but due to the husband ego, he refuses to seek doctor"s help.

All fellow samsters. I am very appreciative of the valuable advice you guys gave.

Really thank you all

Sincerely
Gan

[Bebeque]

Thanks bebeque. The wife had suggested that before but due to the husband ego, he refuses to seek doctor"s help.

All fellow samsters. I am very appreciative of the valuable advice you guys gave.

Really thank you all

Sincerely
Gan

Many times, as the saying goes, the by stander observing is the one who knows best. The couple involved in the problem may be too engrossed in their issues to know what to do or the implications of the problem.

I cannot suggest that TS, as the couple's friend go in to intervene with the couple's issue as your mutual relationships and level of interactions are unknown.

What I can comment are as follows:

1 TS has said that the husband had refused to see a doctor which was suggested by the wife. Perhaps this medical approach was not the right one in the first place and thus was rejected by the husband, Very often, sexual problems between married couples do not arise out of medical or even physical problems. For example, the sexual problems are the manifestations of psychological or communication problems between couples. One or both partners expressed their unhappiness with the state of the relationship by holding back or reducing expressions of intimacy and love.

2 Communications between couples is always the starting point and the link between couples. Good communications between couples result in good marriages. Bad communications between couples will result in unhappy marriages. Good communications between couples will result in good marriage relationships. Good communications mean that each understand to a very big extend what each wants of each other, each other's expectations, limits, abilities, roles and each is able to effectively convey their needs/wants to each other with clear transmission/reception. Of course, good communications is not that easy to be established between couples - it takes a lifetime and much much efforts by both partners and both must be willing.

3 What can be suggested then is for the issue between the couple be approached from the point of view of strengthening their roles as parents and better marriage communications. Thus, activities such a marital relationships, talks, seminars, courses and even visits to family counselling units are good starting points.

4 If the couple can be persuaded to attend some of these parental, family, marriage events, (of course, the best in this case being family counselling), then their relationship hopefully will improve.

5 Once the relationship improves, then the sexual and intimacy issues will sort out by themselves. Whether the issues eventually are narrowed down to being medical related can then be verified. At the moment, it is still too early to suggest that a medical problem exists.

I am no professional counseller nor medically trained. What I can offer is only some basic points of view. TS, who presumably knows the couple best would be in position to assess what would be the best way to help the couple. Just don't give them up on them, if you are willing to help. If you are able to help them in some way, then this indeed would be a good merit for you (no offence of any kind intended).

Just best wishes to you and your couple friends. Hopefully, some things can be done and things will turn out better as time progresses.

Cheers.

[Gandilf82]

Your post bebeque is detailed and well said.
Will up you if I have the power.
Thanks!

[n30n]

Bebeque said it right.

It's about communications. And usually the root of the problem is Ego.
If his ego so high that he refuse to accept his wife words, then the communication is breaking down.

So in a way, asking for a marriage counselling aka see 'doc' is not about blaming the husband for the problems or airing dirty linen in public. He need to understand that.

He need to forget about his ego, face, other people's opinions and truly face the issue in the marriage with his wife. THe counsellor will be the guide to improve the communications between the couple.

If his goals is to improve the marriage, and not to protect reputation, protect dignity/ face etc, he should go all out for it with his wife.

[asdfghjkl]

maybe he has some fun outside? i read in another thread a guy dun touch his wife anymore after going for FL.. :o

[analog]

Hi fellow people,

I have this friend who met this problem which i dont understand her husband even though i am a guy.

She complained that her husband dont like having sex or very tough to be aroused after they had a child.

It seemed that she has a much higher sex drive but her husband cant or dont provide her anymore so she has to find pleasure elsewhere, ending up feeling very guilty about it and thoughts of suicidal came into her mind.

Any advice would be appreciated.
She has a higher sex drvie after having a baby!

Fucking lucky husband man....
And the twat doesn't want to fuck her?

maybe we should trade wives?

:)
Jim

[littlepok]

i believe the figure go haywire liao, such as flabby stomach, bigger thighs etc that turns off the husband. few women keep their perfect figure after giving birth. morally, the husband is thankful to wife for giving a child and 10months of pregnancy. however, sexually-wise, it is a turnoff at times (most of the time). dilemma right guys?

[otamay]

i believe the figure go haywire liao, such as flabby stomach, bigger thighs etc that turns off the husband. few women keep their perfect figure after giving birth. morally, the husband is thankful to wife for giving a child and 10months of pregnancy. however, sexually-wise, it is a turnoff at times (most of the time). dilemma right guys?

I think you are spot on, so the thing cannot up...:mad:

[cesc88]

Am I the only one who felt that the title of this tread sounds like the husband is the one who gave birth? :p

[sextimates]

Am I the only one who felt that the title of this tread sounds like the husband is the one who gave birth? :p

i think her husband find no interest in her already... maybe he is hugging younger MM outside now... =p

[Bangster]

Husband contracted STDs and no mood to have sex with wife maybe....dont wanna pass to her also...and GET CAUGHT for eating out!

[sup3rm2n]

i always thought it was the other way around.. but i believe one of the higher possibility is what the others have already said.

Maybe he doesnt find his wife attractive anymore, as always we being males are more of a visual creature.

[Sirrus]

did he saw what her pussy look like with a head comming out?
i heard some husband freaked out after seeing it and no longer connect pussy to sexy but rather pussy connect to OMFG!

[ZorMa]

I speak for myself, yes, i still love my wife alot, but after our baby was born, yes i was in the delivery room at that time too holding on to my wife encouraging her PUSH PUSH and i didn't faint, but after our baby was born, we actually had sex less. We used to do it like 4 times a week. now, less than 5 times a month max. Personally, I feel the focus is now more on the baby than each other as priority changes once a baby is on board ;)

[Sirrus]

I speak for myself, yes, i still love my wife alot, but after our baby was born, yes i was in the delivery room at that time too holding on to my wife encouraging her PUSH PUSH and i didn't faint, but after our baby was born, we actually had sex less. We used to do it like 4 times a week. now, less than 5 times a month max. Personally, I feel the focus is now more on the baby than each other as priority changes once a baby is on board ;)

that is true but it is not like u lost interest isnt it? it more like ur too tired cause of the baby or ur too happy playing and taking care of the baby and thinking for the baby.

if one day u dont feel tired, baby is well taken care of by say ur parents and ur wife suddenly strip infront of u like hulkamanic and demand sex. dont tell me u dont feel like it meh?

[ZorMa]

that is true but it is not like u lost interest isnt it? it more like ur too tired cause of the baby or ur too happy playing and taking care of the baby and thinking for the baby.

if one day u dont feel tired, baby is well taken care of by say ur parents and ur wife suddenly strip infront of u like hulkamanic and demand sex. dont tell me u dont feel like it meh?

Seriously bro, we are like naked once we come out from the shower and all that so we see out nude bodies several times a day but seriously no, no serious reaction or need like before our baby was born. After this post, i had a chat with my wife just now when baby was asleep n she was puzzled why i asked too, she too replied, all our focus and energy on our baby already, where got mood or energy for anything else and i tend to agree what she says cause i feel exactly the same way as her.
Maybe if you become a parent one day, then you might just understand what i'm talking about bro.

[Botakhead]

The physical action maybe less, but the love for each other will definitely grow stronger........wish you well, have a nice family.:D

[littlepok]

I think you are spot on, so the thing cannot up...:mad:

maybe some wife zap me for what i said with a "hmmmmmmmmmm" and no nick left. haha straight to the point, honesty does hurt sometimes.

thanks bro, you're on my thank u list.

[sexualfantasi]

so did we find out why the husband lost interest in sex ?

[chnhubby71]

delete post

[zgheng]

Well, there are other alternatives if the need is too strong

[wally888]

Maybe wife figure not soo good after given birth, worse CB loose not feeding liao always IA :D

[mrpresident]

you should buy some sex toys for her like vibrator n such to satisfy her...

[1rwin]

Bascially, her husband is sick of her. I've experienced this before. only way to explain it.

[sexualfantasi]

Bascially, her husband is sick of her. I've experienced this before. only way to explain it.

explain to the wife? I wonder y u will sick of ur wife?

[fairman]

Mine is diff, my wife don't want sex after birth. Everytime u asked she said no:( 7 month already!! Sign...

[Vertu]

Hi fellow people,

I have this friend who met this problem which i dont understand her husband even though i am a guy.

She complained that her husband dont like having sex or very tough to be aroused after they had a child.

It seemed that she has a much higher sex drive but her husband cant or dont provide her anymore so she has to find pleasure elsewhere, ending up feeling very guilty about it and thoughts of suicidal came into her mind.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Think she might be hinting you something ........instead !

[merlinlion3]

Bro Vertu, u naughty naught, but very zhun loh. kekeke

TS, can take it further with that MILF sin e she is giving out signals. :D