Tell me what he meant...

[xiaocrystal]

hello to all brothers,

just a short intro abt myself. I'm 25yo, married with 2 little kids. have been reading the threads on and off when I could, and nw I need some advices from you all.

here it goes:
last night I had a quarrel with my hub because I found that he intentionally deleted this whatsapp chat with this particular woman who is single and abt 30-35yo whom he knew from some games. I'm actually okay with him knowing new friends and chat with them because I thought it's just some social networking. but when I realized he deleted the chat (it was there all the while before), I knew something was not quite right. and when questioned, he gave lousy excuses or just trying to smoke away from me. so I threw a fit and we fought because I just hate it for the fact that he can't come clean with me. ended up he threw a punch on my face and now I have a swollen cheekbone. it made me even more mad and suspicious now because how could he did all these to me just over a mere friend known over cyberspace for just less than a week?!!!!

long story short, so after awhile he told me because he sent an image of a box of condoms to her and was just trying to be funny with her, purely joking he meant. in order not to let me gets upset or paranoid, he deleted the chat and so he says. oh forgot to mention, my hub is 2yrs older than me only. so the question now is why does my hub wanna do that to her ie sending her the image?! just purely bought a box of condoms out of fun to chat with her only or he meant other stuffs? (we don't use condoms at all so I dunno why he bought that for ) I really want to know how you guys think?

this is not the first time my hub did such stuffs to me (be it hitting me or cheating on me). I'm just so tired and I really did my job well, looking after the kids well and manage the home well.

[Secret7]

Sounds like your husband wants to have side dish. Got wife still looking for chat with other girl. Send condom for what message? This message also not funny unless girl also interested. May not be the only girl he is after, as you mention he cheat you before.

If you and husband before can talk, then best you talk to him slow and sincere now. Let him share but you must listen. If you got no listen then you get hurt and angry. Be careful that what you hear maybe no good, but if everything out in the open, at least can find solution. Now got secret between you two so not helpful for trust and security.

But he is violent to you so you may need counsellor to help him because if he angry, you gonna get hit again.

You not in good position. Wish you good luck.

[acidicavex]

Talk it out but hitting a woman is a no no family violent a no no. Frankly you have a serious problem on hand which is the beating part. Suggest you both go council. Not a very health marriage if one party is the beater and the other receiver.

Look obvious he want some action.

[magicbrush]

It is quite clear to you already TS. For him to send such message is not only trying to be funny. He is trying out something funny.

Like you mentioned that he had a track record of fooling around. To me deliberately sending a image of condoms may not be a innocent intent.
Cannot stand him hitting you regardless of situation.
Take care of yourself.

[PeaceWithin]

- Whether you believe his story or not, it's your prerogative. if you do not believe, just tell him you do not believe.
- Every action has its consequences. So you have to decide what will your reaction be if it is true.
- Nothing will come out from a shouting match.

But most important of all, regardless he did have a thing outside or not. Throwing a punch is criminal. Remember that.

[SonOfAGun]

Sorry to hear this. I think this is possible...that he is purely mischievous, but yet at the same time, he doesnt want U to be unduly suspicious. That I believe him, because I would do the same to my Mrs. Men's perspective.

What I cannot tolerate is a man hitting a woman, no matter how fedup he is or how frustrated the wife makes him.

I am not a racist...but are U guys (your hubby and U) chinese?

[<<totally>>]

Sis. no matter how bad a guy can be, I strongly believed he should not raised his hands on you. This type of asshole, I think you should be reconsidering whether to spend your life with.

If he has past records of cheating and hurt you, I do see that sending of a condom box image is indicating some fun with the girl he knew over cyberspace.
Is it not really whether you did your job well a not but whether the heart of your hubby is firmly secured to you a not.

If he is strong with his faith and believe in the relationship, I think as a man I will be tempted to try but in the end still give up on that idea because I do not want anything to destroy my family.

Maybe for your case, he is the person providing for the family so you are enduring not for yourself but for the two little kids that you have. However to a certain point in time of your life, the suffering will be too much for you to bear thus causing you to snap or you just accept the fact that it is your fate and keeping quiet, hoping one day he will turn back to you.

My advise to you is try to get someone who your hubby might listen and tell him to advise your hubby. If anymore beatings, you report the police and get protection act for yourself and the kids. A short moment of pain is better than a prolong suffering.

After all you did try to save whatever is left but in a relationship, it has to be from two willing parties coming together to see what is deemed fit to be done. Your hubby really need to learn his lesson. Keeping quiet will not do any help but to fuel his guts to beat you up in a more serious state.:mad:

[BigBoy2]

Report the hitting incident to the police by going for check up in the hospital...... You can reserve the rights to sue him or not. Threaten him that you will go to court if necessary if he misbehave again.

I am a man myself and I cannot accept any human being with great strength taking on the weaker ones.... Pick someone your own size....... Sorry if any bro out there disagree. Just my 2 cents worth.

[notti4u]

First of all, he hit u before and u still stay with him? did u both see a counsellor before on this or did you ask him to go for anger management course? It is not right to hit wife or gf cos they are also daughter of her parents. Ask him, if one day your girl are beaten by his hubby, how would you feel?

As for the condom issues, did u keep forcing him to a corner? I had been forced to a corner before by my wife despite me explaining to her on one of my ex-colleague give me heart chocolate during valentine day and stupid of me to bring home for my kids to eat. I did explained to her that nothing is between us which is not true but she refused to listen. So at times, u need to close one eye and close another and act blur unless you wanted to divorce him.

[Reoxy]

this is not the first time my hub did such stuffs to me (be it hitting me or cheating on me). I'm just so tired and I really did my job well, looking after the kids well and manage the home well.

A cheating husband may still be worthwhile to forgive.

A violent husband is just a ticking time-bomb. Better look for an exit.

[Meow^^]

Sis,

Firstly, i always tell myself we human always do things with a reason. In this case (your Hubby) do have a reason, be it fooling around or joking around. You should know it well enough as you have been with him for years.

Everyman, even women, do have times when they are in a moment of heat did some foolish things. But if people do regrets and change for a better, life would still be good, If things doesn't change, will it be a good ideal to spend your rest of your years or days with him? I am not asking you to leave him or what. It's best both of you can find a solutions to it and make life more worth while our life is short why suffer where you can be happy enjoying?

I do agree that married couples do have some quarrels but things must not resolve into violent and especially a Man hitting a WOMEN.....If help needed, please seek help from relevent people or organization. Wish you luck Sis.

[xiaocrystal]

Sorry to hear this. I think this is possible...that he is purely mischievous, but yet at the same time, he doesnt want U to be unduly suspicious. That I believe him, because I would do the same to my Mrs. Men's perspective.

What I cannot tolerate is a man hitting a woman, no matter how fedup he is or how frustrated the wife makes him.

I am not a racist...but are U guys (your hubby and U) chinese?

yes bro, we are Chinese.

[xiaocrystal]

First of all, he hit u before and u still stay with him? did u both see a counsellor before on this or did you ask him to go for anger management course? It is not right to hit wife or gf cos they are also daughter of her parents. Ask him, if one day your girl are beaten by his hubby, how would you feel?

As for the condom issues, did u keep forcing him to a corner? I had been forced to a corner before by my wife despite me explaining to her on one of my ex-colleague give me heart chocolate during valentine day and stupid of me to bring home for my kids to eat. I did explained to her that nothing is between us which is not true but she refused to listen. So at times, u need to close one eye and close another and act blur unless you wanted to divorce him.

yes I had to still stay with him. I'm not working and the kids still need the support financially. truthfully, if I had to stay now is not because I wanna salvage this marriage. I'm staying on for the money and for the sake of the kids.

forcing him to a corner? I just Dowan to bj for him but I'm always sex-ready.

[xiaocrystal]

Sis. no matter how bad a guy can be, I strongly believed he should not raised his hands on you. This type of asshole, I think you should be reconsidering whether to spend your life with.

If he has past records of cheating and hurt you, I do see that sending of a condom box image is indicating some fun with the girl he knew over cyberspace.
Is it not really whether you did your job well a not but whether the heart of your hubby is firmly secured to you a not.

If he is strong with his faith and believe in the relationship, I think as a man I will be tempted to try but in the end still give up on that idea because I do not want anything to destroy my family.

Maybe for your case, he is the person providing for the family so you are enduring not for yourself but for the two little kids that you have. However to a certain point in time of your life, the suffering will be too much for you to bear thus causing you to snap or you just accept the fact that it is your fate and keeping quiet, hoping one day he will turn back to you.

My advise to you is try to get someone who your hubby might listen and tell him to advise your hubby. If anymore beatings, you report the police and get protection act for yourself and the kids. A short moment of pain is better than a prolong suffering.

After all you did try to save whatever is left but in a relationship, it has to be from two willing parties coming together to see what is deemed fit to be done. Your hubby really need to learn his lesson. Keeping quiet will not do any help but to fuel his guts to beat you up in a more serious state.:mad:


I nvr dare to tell my family nor his abt our problems. no one knows he hit me or have affairs outside. everyone view him as a good hub and father, probably because he did his part as the one bringing bck the bacon. apart from that, I'm also quite conscious of how people look at me so that's why I'm keeping all to myself. whenever there are bruises, I always just tell people I fell or hurt myself in my clumsy state.

I'm staying on for the money only for the kids. it's no joke to raise 2 single-handedly, plus I have no high qualifications nor much job experiences. our marriage was a shotgun.....

[littlepok]

my 1 cent worth of thought...

TS sign up in Jan 2011 meaning u also quite active in this forum also, despite having 2 posts only. for reading sake or CCA for ownself?

anyway, nonetheless, landing hands on wife is the worst thing a man can do. it seems to me u are a fulltime housewife taking care of kids hence u are dependent on him for survival.

I recommend u making arrangements to start going outside to work, be it for own sake and kids. u need some income in case of worst case scenario (divorce) and widen your scope so u will not be a frog in a well. after some time, the husband will feel he cannot communicate with u (soon u will be complaining about rising vege cost).

buying condom to take photos is BS, to be plain even if he never used on the new friend, rest assured he uses it elsewhere. he might have strayed, how much do u treasure the relationship then? talk to him calmly when the chance appears, talk to him about beating u up is seriously not acceptable. leave if it happens again or a Personal Protection Order for u and kids.

[xiaocrystal]

thanks to all the bro who shared your views.

actually I'm always sex-ready for him and easy to please. but whenever in action, he doesn't bother if I had my share of fun. my hub is not good at bed, he cum in less than a min. I nvr blame him or belittle him yet he's always hurting me emotionally and physically. and to be frank, I nvr had any oral done from him to me these while. I will nvr know how it feels when in the act. he always cum so easily and fast which I hasn't even had my desires fulfilled yet.

and he's doing all these to me...... sad ttm!

[littlepok]

forcing him to a corner? I just Dowan to bj for him but I'm always sex-ready.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2190863/Semen-good-womens-health-helps-fight-depression.html

something useful to share, u never know, it may work wonders.

bros, do share with ur gf fb or oc.

[notti4u]

yes I had to still stay with him. I'm not working and the kids still need the support financially. truthfully, if I had to stay now is not because I wanna salvage this marriage. I'm staying on for the money and for the sake of the kids.

forcing him to a corner? I just Dowan to bj for him but I'm always sex-ready.

Sis, then I have to say that becos of money you can let him beat you up? Why can't you go and work and earn money on your own. Suriving on your own is better than being a wife that get beaten up by hubby due to she is sticking to him becos of money and kids? If you let your kids see their daddy beating their mummy, what will they learn? Violent is the way to resolve agrument? Is this right? I believe that being a good example for kids are important.

Well, I also never get BJ from my wife before and if someone will want to BJ me, why not? So in short, you may want to change your prespective of BJ your hubby and let him not stray from you? This is just my thoughts only.

[<<totally>>]

yes I had to still stay with him. I'm not working and the kids still need the support financially. truthfully, if I had to stay now is not because I wanna salvage this marriage. I'm staying on for the money and for the sake of the kids.

forcing him to a corner? I just Dowan to bj for him but I'm always sex-ready.

Maybe is time for you to take a part time job on the pretext of trying to help ends meet. Once you see that the job can be converted to full time and the kids can be well taken care off, there goes your chain and cage for the freedom that you yearned for.

BJ is part of the sex, maybe he should let you know how enjoyable that can be by offering to paint for you instead. If you liked it and wish to return his favor and this little issue will be resolved. I love painting and often get excited when my counterpart become so helpless and weak.:D

Or maybe the smell or hairy jungle did turn you off. Get him to shower real nice, shave or trim to your liking. Some peppermint sweets for you before BJ. That will be good for you and him, din feel the smell and that peppermint is going to arouse him for sure.;)

Good sex need some preparation work also. Hehe

[option69]

a few strategies

DEFENCE
build your fortress. have a fixed place to put all hp where incoming msg can be seen easily. fixed your charger there. dont ask so many questions. observe his pattern. consult divorce lawyers, street smart sisters, check his car mileage. basically map his daily pattern. gather all evidence if u need to go on offensive, these will be your ammo.

have an income. work outside, full time, part-time etc.

ATTACK
confront him with all the evidence. get a third party to sit in. maybe a trusted sister. has a few stages; confront, catch him red handed maybe with Private investigator help

DIPLOMACY
drop hints you are suspecting he is fooling around. offer a way out. up the ante. more active family or sex life.

FLANKING
fill his after office life with activities. fetching kids, mother in law, social dance, brisk walk, cooking class,... so he has no time to fool around.


Sister
You need to work out the details and approach as only you know his schedule and life style.

[SexyStan]

hello to all brothers,

just a short intro abt myself. I'm 25yo, married with 2 little kids. have been reading the threads on and off when I could, and nw I need some advices from you all.

here it goes:
last night I had a quarrel with my hub because I found that he intentionally deleted this whatsapp chat with this particular woman who is single and abt 30-35yo whom he knew from some games. I'm actually okay with him knowing new friends and chat with them because I thought it's just some social networking. but when I realized he deleted the chat (it was there all the while before), I knew something was not quite right. and when questioned, he gave lousy excuses or just trying to smoke away from me. so I threw a fit and we fought because I just hate it for the fact that he can't come clean with me. ended up he threw a punch on my face and now I have a swollen cheekbone. it made me even more mad and suspicious now because how could he did all these to me just over a mere friend known over cyberspace for just less than a week?!!!!

long story short, so after awhile he told me because he sent an image of a box of condoms to her and was just trying to be funny with her, purely joking he meant. in order not to let me gets upset or paranoid, he deleted the chat and so he says. oh forgot to mention, my hub is 2yrs older than me only. so the question now is why does my hub wanna do that to her ie sending her the image?! just purely bought a box of condoms out of fun to chat with her only or he meant other stuffs? (we don't use condoms at all so I dunno why he bought that for ) I really want to know how you guys think?

this is not the first time my hub did such stuffs to me (be it hitting me or cheating on me). I'm just so tired and I really did my job well, looking after the kids well and manage the home well.

Hi Sis,

You are the only person in this world who knows your hubby's persona, since its been for a few years at least you've been sleeping next to him, considering you guys share between the both of you; Therefore, any one who offers their advice, can only be using a broadbrush approach, me included. So really, u need to understand its not a one size fits all solution. I will attempt to share my 2 cents worth, but its strictly from my perspectives, as a guy: -

(1) "...intentionally deleted... woman... it was there all the while before..."

The deletion is no biggie really, and the original contents may or may not be proof of adultery. It could be as minor as harmless flirting, which guys do all the time, to medium sextings, to serious professions of Love & affection. I suggest u don't read too much into this. Guys 逢场作戏 (I haven't seen any who don't anyway in the mildest degrees) all the time, so it could be as minor as a harmless flirt, he got guilty and worried and he knew you found out, so he deleted before u could read it.

(2) Questioned... Gave lousy excuses... Smoke away... Can't come clean

This could be further to the above in (1). It may not that be that he can't come clean w/ u but really, as simple as he doesn't know how to. Its difficult for guys to explain sometimes, why we do funny things like flirt, sweet-talk, serenade on the minor scale of things to the more serious sexting, profess, e.t.c for no reason. Its true, it is difficult for us to explain. All guys 逢场作戏, be it occasionally or constantly. Its true, and its a fact most females already know.

(3) Image of condoms...

I get u sis. This is probably a lie. But really, the contents of that messenger, or the images therein, is really a non-issue. He could have conjured out this lie, because he didn't know how to explain to u? Or because its really that big a can of worms to be opened so he chose to cover up? OR it may even be true, really. Some guys, are that pointless.

(4) Not the first time... Hitting... or Cheating

This is the real issue Sis. Hitting a gal by a guy, regardless of any reason, is the major no no. I don't know his frequency for doing so, or the degree of injury he inflicts on u each time, or the circumstances leading to him doing so, so I can't advise really. Pertaining to his cheating, I don't know the kind of lies he told or the kinda proof u have tt he had indeed lied, so again, I can't advise.

Still, no woman should tolerate being hit by a man, this, I suggest, you make it clear to him. PPOs can be applied, but unless you are contemplating a divorce, it is not viable. The best way, is to make your stand clear to him. Any violation thereafter, should not be tolerated.

Sis, 1st & foremost u need to consider your position seriously before anything else, (i) the kind of man u know him to be; (ii) does he love you and do you love him; (iii) are you willing to remain married to this man; (iv) does your children love and respect him as a father; (v) were you at any point in time injured gravely by him; (vi) are there any good points about him worthy of you hanging on; & most imptly (vii) do u feel he respects ur feelings, u as a person & u as his wife.

my 2 cents worth, cheers.

[Thunderstorm]

if a man can hit a woman/wife, be prepared to leave him cos he definitely shows no respect to a woman, he's done it once and will repeat again and again, no doubt about it. :rolleyes:


worst still, sending image of condom and spend time chatting with other woman, what a immature jerk :rolleyes:


equip yourself with new skill and be prepared to start afresh of your new life, you will be happier once you realize you do not depend on that jerk again ;)

[thomas88]

I strongly believe that your husband has that intention to bed the other gal else he would not have bought condoms since he do not require it with you.

There's one thing which you must know is under whatever circumstances, a man must never lay a finger on a woman. If you allow him to do that the first time then there'll be endless time that he'll lay his hand on you to even at the slightest provocation.

I think you'd better make plans for your future and leave such a man.

[jj_jj]

Fact#1: he threw a punch on my face and now I have a swollen cheekbone.

Fact#2:we don't use condoms at all
Question#1: Did he buy the condoms or it's just a photo? If he bought then you already know why.

Fact#3: this is not the first time my hub did such stuffs to me (be it hitting me or cheating on me).

Like some bro have said, work towards financial independence so that in the event you decide to divorce, you will at least be in a better financial state regardless of alimony.
PPO is a good interim measure to protect yourself from further beatings.

You probably already know the way forward but needed this to strengthen your resolve. Take care.

[bigangry]

hello to all brothers,

just a short intro abt myself. I'm 25yo, married with 2 little kids. have been reading the threads on and off when I could, and nw I need some advices from you all.

here it goes:
last night I had a quarrel with my hub because I found that he intentionally deleted this whatsapp chat with this particular woman who is single and abt 30-35yo whom he knew from some games. I'm actually okay with him knowing new friends and chat with them because I thought it's just some social networking. but when I realized he deleted the chat (it was there all the while before), I knew something was not quite right. and when questioned, he gave lousy excuses or just trying to smoke away from me. so I threw a fit and we fought because I just hate it for the fact that he can't come clean with me. ended up he threw a punch on my face and now I have a swollen cheekbone. it made me even more mad and suspicious now because how could he did all these to me just over a mere friend known over cyberspace for just less than a week?!!!!

long story short, so after awhile he told me because he sent an image of a box of condoms to her and was just trying to be funny with her, purely joking he meant. in order not to let me gets upset or paranoid, he deleted the chat and so he says. oh forgot to mention, my hub is 2yrs older than me only. so the question now is why does my hub wanna do that to her ie sending her the image?! just purely bought a box of condoms out of fun to chat with her only or he meant other stuffs? (we don't use condoms at all so I dunno why he bought that for ) I really want to know how you guys think?

this is not the first time my hub did such stuffs to me (be it hitting me or cheating on me). I'm just so tired and I really did my job well, looking after the kids well and manage the home well.

not first time hitting you? i think you got a serious issue, he is very abusive. better learn how to protect yourself.

as for cheating if he have a history of cheating, he will probably do it again if given a chance.

[bigangry]

I nvr dare to tell my family nor his abt our problems. no one knows he hit me or have affairs outside. everyone view him as a good hub and father, probably because he did his part as the one bringing bck the bacon. apart from that, I'm also quite conscious of how people look at me so that's why I'm keeping all to myself. whenever there are bruises, I always just tell people I fell or hurt myself in my clumsy state.

I'm staying on for the money only for the kids. it's no joke to raise 2 single-handedly, plus I have no high qualifications nor much job experiences. our marriage was a shotgun.....

family and friends cant be that stupid if you keep getting bruises often. you really should get some help regarding your abusive husband. there are some hotline available, any bros here know? please forward to TS

[xiaocrystal]

thank you for all the posts and recvd a lot of comforting PMs! super appreciate all the thoughts and concern.

will take time and reply all tonight. :)

[SiliconVibrator]

whatever prob u have gt to talk it out and settle, but regarding iuuse on hitting u, i personally thinks that it not right to hit a gal/wife. dun let him have the habit of hitting you, take care.

[K9696]

In my humble opinion - You shouldn't have post your story online.

You are married with two kids - you already know the answer.

Talk to him see how you can sort thing out with him.

Everyone here will contributes their ideas that
will eventually cos you more confuse.:p:o

Good luck:D

[FRATERNITY]

TS, wanna make your hub jealous? Pm me.

[FRATERNITY]

Woah he can cum in 1 minute, which means you must be damn chio :D Then again, married women are off-limits. :)

Send condoms images ah, that means he must have some degree of interest in that woman to do that. As a guy, I wouldn't send condoms images to women that are not my type.

My current gf also damn chio face with sexy body i also cannot tahan longer... Always when fucking i think of other things like work and computer games lol

[nightfly1966]

Violent guy...feel so sorry for u...

My father once said tis to me...

"...she's the one choosen by u...blame no body but urself."

Take good care gal...

Rgds

[ConanDestroyer]

There is something I can't figure out

Why is the packet of condom on your mind when he just bashed your face?
You need to learn some self defense technique to prevent u getting hit in the face.

[ChokDeeDee!]

The truth is painful. And the truth is he is up to something, otherwise he has nothing to hide. We guys do enjoy getting cocky when you try to catch us when we're clean. We won't hesitate to show you whatever we can to prove that you are wrong. He got aggressive and deleted the chat log, he is guilty. And condoms? I dun think he has plans to chew the strawberry flavor ones like a candy... Obviously he needs them for the purpose it's meant for. Do take care.

[<<totally>>]

Sis, I might not be earning a lot but what I can offered is a little appreciation for the respect of woman. Go seek a doc and get medical evidence that your hubby has beaten you. Keep it as a proof in case you need to show that that was not the first time. Ask for the receipt, use your hp and take a pic and send it to me as a prove, I will help you cover this round. I know you will not spend that type of money but is on me so dun worry. I am not asking anything in return just wanting to see you are prepared for a battle with your lousy hubby. :)

[yang punk]

XC, from the little background info you gave it is difficult for anyone of us to fully understand your situation and give the correct advice. You said you can't go to your elders for the sake of face and maybe awkward to see a marriage counsellor.

Firstly in the past, you have had your quarrels...so how did you resolve them? Just sleep over them and let the problems go away? Or after cooling down you both resolve them in a sensible manner? Yes when tension and temper run high the mind can't think rationally and the mouth will say things to hurt.

Has he habitually hit you or is this only the second time in the whole of your marriage? As to why he resort to hitting you there can be many reasons. From him being an abused child, to his father being a wife beater, or he being a spoilt only son and never been trained in anger management or perhaps you berated him on and on until the only way to shut you up is a punch to your kisser.

The solution to any of the above problems may be for him to consult a psychiatrist or for you to shower him with a lot of love and patience. The latter solution is more difficult because it really depends on how much you both actually love each other and then how much you both are prepared to sacrifice for each other and for your children!

You mentioned shot-gun marriage, so be truthful. Did he marry you out of love or out of obligation. Did you use your pregnancy to trap him? Are you in love with him for better or for worst or are you just looking for a provider?

If it is love then there must be trust. If you have to go around snooping into his hp pc mails bank account etc then you have invaded his privacy (it works both ways). When you come across anything suspicious to you, your mind goes out of control with suspicion...what good comes out of that? One of the basic principle of respect even between husband and wife is never to snoop at other party's email, letters or messages.

If you have been lurking in this forum you should know both men and women have cheated on their spouses. Why? Main reason is dissatisfaction with their sex life, boredom of non- varying pro functionary sex. You complain he don't lick you and you don't do bj. Why? The dick or vagina is dirty or smelly? Do you know in kissing you are passing to each other more germs? You can bath each other as foreplay before sex. You can ask him to shave your pussy to add kinkiness and you can shave him too! All men love a good blowjob. Doing it shows your love for him and should earn you a pussy painting in return. That way he can also prolong his ejaculation and you can also enjoy multiple orgasms from his oral administration. But make sure you clean your pussy thoroughly including flushing your vagina. Nothing smell worst than a urine stained stale pussy!

Too long already. You need more advice pm me.

[goodu]

add a SBF bro here on whatsapp then in front of your hubby sent this SBF bro an image of 2 condom boxes and tell him you are just teasing this new friend too.

[Absolute]

Because you have to depend on him financially, I am certain that the cycle of physically abusing you will continue.

If you tolerate his nonsense and violence, he will become bolder as time goes by. Family violence will also affect the emotional and psychological development of your children, especially when they are still young. I was a victim of such family background so I know where all these will lead to.

If you do nothing to protect yourself and your children, nobody will. You have to be strong but win the case with reasons, not on unfounded conjecture.

All the best.

[sammyboyfor]

hello to all brothers,

just a short intro abt myself. I'm 25yo, married with 2 little kids. have been reading the threads on and off when I could, and nw I need some advices from you all.


"Advice" is a non countable noun; you do not add an "s" to make it plural.

"Advice" is like "Rice". You say... "Please pass me the Rice." You don't say "Please pass me the rices" because "Rice", like "Advice", is a non countable noun.

There are many other examples. To test your knowledge of non countable nouns, go to English Language Quiz - Countable or Non-countable Nouns (I-TESL-J) (http://a4esl.org/q/j/ck/ch-countnouns.html) and take the test.

[sammyboyfor]

this is not the first time my hub did such stuffs to me (be it hitting me or cheating on me). I'm just so tired and I really did my job well, looking after the kids well and manage the home well.

No husband should hit a wife. You should leave him straight away. Physical violence should not be tolerated.

[littlepok]

add a SBF bro here on whatsapp then in front of your hubby sent this SBF bro an image of 2 condom boxes and tell him you are just teasing this new friend too.

instead of condom photo, send some pics of vibrator and dildo or 6inch dick, say for fun only. then slap him and say u do not mean it.

do not do what u do not want others to do on u.

PS: forget the slapping part. i dont want u kanna hantum bola

[littlepok]

Sis, I might not be earning a lot but what I can offered is a little appreciation for the respect of woman. Go seek a doc and get medical evidence that your hubby has beaten you. Keep it as a proof in case you need to show that that was not the first time. Ask for the receipt, use your hp and take a pic and send it to me as a prove, I will help you cover this round. I know you will not spend that type of money but is on me so dun worry. I am not asking anything in return just wanting to see you are prepared for a battle with your lousy hubby. :)

i applaud your generosity. TS do consider, next to horny guys u find nice people around here too :)

upz u when got power. even if TS do not reciprocate, i believe in your sincerity. show my appreciation:cool:

[2centsworth]

Don't understand the logic of buying a box of condom to take a photo so that he can send it to the girl. He can easily get a photo of a box of condom from Google. If he wants to watch porn how? Buy a video recorder and record his own porn for future viewing?

He shouldn't hit you. It teaches the kids that violence against your wife is acceptable. Leaving him shouldn't be a rash decision as you have 2 kids who need both parents around at this tender age.

[jf66312]

my 1 cent worth of thought...

TS sign up in Jan 2011 meaning u also quite active in this forum also, despite having 2 posts only. for reading sake or CCA for ownself?

anyway, nonetheless, landing hands on wife is the worst thing a man can do. it seems to me u are a fulltime housewife taking care of kids hence u are dependent on him for survival.

I recommend u making arrangements to start going outside to work, be it for own sake and kids. u need some income in case of worst case scenario (divorce) and widen your scope so u will not be a frog in a well. after some time, the husband will feel he cannot communicate with u (soon u will be complaining about rising vege cost).

buying condom to take photos is BS, to be plain even if he never used on the new friend, rest assured he uses it elsewhere. he might have strayed, how much do u treasure the relationship then? talk to him calmly when the chance appears, talk to him about beating u up is seriously not acceptable. leave if it happens again or a Personal Protection Order for u and kids.

yup..agree...and there is women's charter in Singapore... :)

[<<totally>>]

i applaud your generosity. TS do consider, next to horny guys u find nice people around here too :)

upz u when got power. even if TS do not reciprocate, i believe in your sincerity. show my appreciation:cool:

Thks littlepok! Maybe a little help do make a great difference for her. So I thought that will be a nice way to help her with the ability I am able too. I cannot stand family violent.
" 要坏就坏外面，不要坏家里，坏家里只能证明你是个没用的男人." That was what I learnt from the streets and I agreed to it.:o

[BiRd13]

Wow... You really sound like a friend of mine... Does your name starts with S? =)
Sorry if it doesn't as your situation really very similar to a friend of mine.. (Or would say FB) Even the contents are similar... Just a bit different that, she did told me her hubby hit her etc as well...

I will say that, no guy will 'unintentionally' sent a box of condom pic to a girl... If were to 'flirt' or to 'play', just typing it out will do... instead of having the trouble to download, save the pic, and sent to other girl... If I'm the hubby, most likely is that I want to bed the girl, and hence sent the pic to the girl =)

Like the friend of mine which I talked about earlier on... Her hubby also did the same to this girl whom he knew online through some gaming as well... She felt weird and felt doubted and confronted her hubby and they fought over the issue... Just that she never had swollen cheekbone though, but red swollen forehead, and 'black green' on stomach area... Why? Her hubby kicked her in the stomach, and even uses her head to bang against the wall... She's kind of small size though, and her hubby is quite huge in size... (Not dick size ar =P)
Later after a week or two, her hubby apologised to her (which is not the first time her hubby hit her, and apologised after that...And worst of all, she have a soft heart that easily forgive her hubby... and due to kids as well...) and confessed that he sent a pic of 'box of condom' to the girl he knew online via watsapp... Just for the sake of 'joking' and making 'fun' of her... At first, she really thought it's just merely 'joking' until one day...

Her hubby was out for work, and forgot to bring his handphone... Just nice whle she was putting the phone away, saw watsapp notification, and her curiousity of her 'accidentally' or perhaps, intentionally, open the watsapp message to see.. To her horrified, the girl sent 'him' a message saying something that 'wonderful night with him... and hope he enjoyed her bj and love his licking etc' kind of stuff...

She cried immediately on the spot... Her heart was really broken this time... She confronted later with her hubby and he admitted everything... However, she still can't bear to leave or divorce the hubby, due to her hubby pleading her forgiveness, and mentioned never will happen again etc... Hence her softhearted heart begin to melt again...

For the 5yrs of marriage, her hubby never lasted more than 5 mins in bed, and NEVER lick her pussy as well... But he can lick for other girls which really break her heart...

Probably this is one of the reason we became 'fb', as she confides everything with me, and I'm one who lick for her....

[takeshiblue]

hello to all brothers,

just a short intro abt myself. I'm 25yo, married with 2 little kids. have been reading the threads on and off when I could, and nw I need some advices from you all.

here it goes:
last night I had a quarrel with my hub because I found that he intentionally deleted this whatsapp chat with this particular woman who is single and abt 30-35yo whom he knew from some games. I'm actually okay with him knowing new friends and chat with them because I thought it's just some social networking. but when I realized he deleted the chat (it was there all the while before), I knew something was not quite right. and when questioned, he gave lousy excuses or just trying to smoke away from me. so I threw a fit and we fought because I just hate it for the fact that he can't come clean with me. ended up he threw a punch on my face and now I have a swollen cheekbone. it made me even more mad and suspicious now because how could he did all these to me just over a mere friend known over cyberspace for just less than a week?!!!!

long story short, so after awhile he told me because he sent an image of a box of condoms to her and was just trying to be funny with her, purely joking he meant. in order not to let me gets upset or paranoid, he deleted the chat and so he says. oh forgot to mention, my hub is 2yrs older than me only. so the question now is why does my hub wanna do that to her ie sending her the image?! just purely bought a box of condoms out of fun to chat with her only or he meant other stuffs? (we don't use condoms at all so I dunno why he bought that for ) I really want to know how you guys think?

this is not the first time my hub did such stuffs to me (be it hitting me or cheating on me). I'm just so tired and I really did my job well, looking after the kids well and manage the home well.

1) Sending sex-related image or video to opposite gender friend for what? Funny? Interesting? There are many other funny & interesting thing can be shown to friend. I am a man, in my thinking, if a women friend send me sex-related image or video, I will assume she maybe want to sex with me, NO OTHER THING. Jokes or comic still ok, but real picture & video is not.

2) Habit is hard to change, especially bad habit. Your husband should go for counsellar for his violent action, but I doubt that he can change it. I see a lot of couple that one party have violent action, NO ONE change the bad habit even divorce. In my opinion, you can give him ONE more chance, try talk to him softly but firmly, violent action is not good for marriage life, ask him go for counsellar seek for solution. If he still cannot change, stay with him is not good for you & your children, you will be hurted, your children will grow in unnormal family & their character maybe will go to violent too. Divorce is the best way if he remain unchange.

[<<totally>>]

Wow... You really sound like a friend of mine... Does your name starts with S? =)
Sorry if it doesn't as your situation really very similar to a friend of mine.. (Or would say FB) Even the contents are similar... Just a bit different that, she did told me her hubby hit her etc as well...


Probably this is one of the reason we became 'fb', as she confides everything with me, and I'm one who lick for her....

Bro, maybe you are right that she might be that someone you knew. Chances of things happening so similar are damn low. ;) Are you guys still FB?

[BiRd13]

Bro, maybe you are right that she might be that someone you knew. Chances of things happening so similar are damn low. ;) Are you guys still FB?

Yeah... But got slight different lor... 1 is that she confide in me... and another is that, it happened for quite some time ago (more than 4 months ago...) while TS case is happened 'recently' :)

Yes. She's still my FB... In fact, I knew her before she knew her hubby... And had sex with her when she's with her bf (now hubby)

[<<totally>>]

Yeah... But got slight different lor... 1 is that she confide in me... and another is that, it happened for quite some time ago (more than 4 months ago...) while TS case is happened 'recently' :)

Yes. She's still my FB... In fact, I knew her before she knew her hubby... And had sex with her when she's with her bf (now hubby)

Hmm....maybe recently to some might be months as she might just gathered enough courage to write something out. Hope that maybe is the one you know, kinda sad if is another woman tio beaten up by hubby again.

That is quite a FB relationship you have maintained!:D Bro no offences, have you wondered why she still never leave the hubby, maybe she felt that she had you and one way or another she felt guilty so she choose to stay on.

Woman are very strange creatures so need to cover a lot of areas just trying to know what they are thinking. Maybe you need to prepare yourself in case one day she says what I just did.:(

[fun11142]

i will never hit my wife....from a man kind of view.
yes..man fool around but must clean the mouth before reach home.
when at home must love wife and kids.

i think it better u go tell his parents..u know man are like big boy.....they still listen to mummy
well! that what my wife did...use my mum to give me warning!

[Gixer]

You know, reading your story, I can't help but think. I think you got married too early and now your husband is regretting it. From the looks of it, you obviously have not been keeping him happy, if not sexually, then mentally or emotionally.

Most guys would not hit a woman, but I know some women that deserve it. Please remember that a man can really mess you up if he wants to hit you and not push it too much if you can't handle it.

Thats just nature. If a small man, 1.6 meters tall, maybe 60kg wants to insult or call a 1.9 meter, 100kg giant a cocksucker, be prepared to get whacked. Would I feel sorry for the small guy? No, you get what you ask for. Remember, you life is about choices.

As for the condoms, like I said, there is something you are not doing or giving your husband that makes him look elsewhere. Be mature about it and make a CHOICE. You can choose to make him happy, or you can choose to argue, you can choose to leave, or you choose to keep quiet and just take it.

[badboyzbleu]

crystal
i am sorry to hear that your hubby hit you. but please dont get physical when quarrel with your hubby. female always on losing end if the situation get violence. if u r MMA trained then dont say lah. if not please dont start it. :P

try talk to him on sex thing lah, encourage him to last longer. just tell him he make you very song and u want to song more or longer. :p

[BoinKING]

U have to stay on for the kids.
Alimony is not enforceable by the law only can give bad credit rating.

I suggest you leave him be and just find happiness yourself.
If he hits you again get a ppo

Your only outcome is for the kids to grow up and then divorce him hoping that he has accumulated enough wealth to rip him to shreds for pay back

[kgbkgb]

this is not the first time my hub did such stuffs to me (be it hitting me or cheating on me). I'm just so tired and I really did my job well, looking after the kids well and manage the home well.

Sad to hear yr story. No matter what the issue, no man should ever lay hands on his wife. It is shocking that you could tolerate so much from him. He obviously has zero respect for you. You need counselling badly, try AWARE. I know you're staying because of yr financial circumstances but the way I look at it, this is a time bomb waiting to explode. All forms of violence (no matter how mild) lead to even greater forms of violence eventually. You should inform yr family members and seek counselling immediately. The fact that nobody knows about his cowardly behavior actually emboldens him further. If he is rehabilitable, the counselling would help and yr marriage would improve from there on. If not, it is better to end this marriage which I predict will eventually become pure misery for you and yr kids. Financially, I'm sure things can be worked out with some cooperation from your family members. Good luck

[BiRd13]

Hmm....maybe recently to some might be months as she might just gathered enough courage to write something out. Hope that maybe is the one you know, kinda sad if is another woman tio beaten up by hubby again.

That is quite a FB relationship you have maintained!:D Bro no offences, have you wondered why she still never leave the hubby, maybe she felt that she had you and one way or another she felt guilty so she choose to stay on.

Woman are very strange creatures so need to cover a lot of areas just trying to know what they are thinking. Maybe you need to prepare yourself in case one day she says what I just did.:(

I think no one is perfect ba... Though I knew her earlier, and even have sex with her before her hubby, but there's something about myself which she can't accept me as a bf, or even a hb =)

I do hope she's the same girl... Now let's wait for her to clarify =)

Same as TS, she did not want to give up the marriage mainly because of the kids... They are still young and she's not working either. Need the financial support from her husband...

To her, I'm just a FB who can satisfy her needs (and mine as well) as we both believe that love making require both to enjoy, rather than just one person... Which she can't find when making love with her husband... Most of the time, she did not really 'enjoy' and her husband had cummed le...

We both knew that one day our 'relationship' will end... As of now, be it what is the main reason behind it... But we just enjoy being with each other is all that matters... =)

[Doran Gray]

A SB bro wrote.."i will never hit my wife....from a man kind of view.
100% agree although I don't like the Woman's Charter !

yes..man fool around but must clean the mouth before reach home.
when at home must love wife and kids.
And also must remember to bring some chocolates and cookies home for the wifey and kids too mah!

i think it better u go tell his parents..u know man are like big boy.....they still listen to mummy
well! that what my wife did...use my mum to give me warning! "
Yah. When saya came down the mountain to steal-eat once in awhile, me wife seemed to sense it, cried father and mother to Jurong. dearest mama gave me a stern warning and a few good slaps on the bum! :(

Back home then there were some secret negotiations to and fro. And when we make love again, me wifey never fail to gave me a superduper DDT BBBJ with COF and even swallow me cum. How's that for makeup and soothing effect? :D

So my advice to Sis is.....at the end of the day, is how you want to "rein" in your hubby sexually or otherwise. If you are a good cook, heard of the proverb, "A way to a man's heart is through is his stomach"? But, honestly I still don't like him hitting you. Got to resolve your messy family problems so how, somewhat, somewhere, sometime. Take care, yo!

Doran

[Loner08]

First of all i disagree that some bro's advice to sexually satisfy that beast more in order to get him back (no offence). Sad to say man will never be satisfy with what they have and no matter how well u can satisfy them there is always the temptations outside which cannot be matched. Don't waste your precious time anymore.

TS, from my point of view u don't need others to tell u what he meant and what you should do. Nobody in this world is indispensable to anybody. What u need to do now is to stop giving yourself excuses to leave that beast. Maybe i don't understand the situation you are in and probably i will never understand that, but what if u still choose to remain as it is then pls SHUT UP and take whatever SHIT he gives u so that at least u MiGHT not get yourself physically hurt again. But if you decides to leave and start your new life, i am sure many people here will be happy for you. Many people in this world don't have the chance to choose how they can live.. if u have.. choose wisely..