i'm lose and need advise..

[miyake_ck]

recently my wife called and told me that she is tested positive for syphilis and in stage 2. it scare the hell out of me cause i thought i have infected my wife with the virus.even thought i still fuck around(after married) once in awhile, but at all time i do practice safe sex(except one or twice did bbbbj).

i immediately make a appointment at DSC and get myself testing for both STI n HIV. after around 45min of waiting, both turn out negative. i was so relief but only for a moment. i did some reading about this syphilis virus and spoken to the doctor who i was consulting to at DSC. syphilis can only be sexual transmitted(unprotected sex)! is very very unlike a person get infected with syphilis by other meant.

my wife had to go back to malaysia to look after my father in law who was very ill and have been there for good 7 months. the last time we had some inmate behavior was at least 8 months back. the doctor told me that for my wife case, she could have got infected just 2 to 3 months ago.

she told me she had no idea how she got it or where she get infected. i chose to believe her at the very beginning as i trusted my wife(at time i believe i was the one who got her infected) and not knowing much about the virus. i even encourage her that i will stood by her and told her to start her treatment asap which she did.


but after the tested and hard long talk with the doctor. i am at a lose what to do and what to believe. i called my wife and told her about the outcome of the tested and the conversation i had with the doctor. she felt my tone has completely change and was really sad cause she knew my faith with her was kind of gone too.

i can't tell any of my family member or friend about this issue. i know they are gonna look at her differently in the future and things is never gonna be the same again.

guys, i really needed some words of wisdom here pls.


from a man who is in great deal of pain and lost!

[sammyboyfor]

from a man who is in great deal of pain and lost!

So it's OK for you to fuck around but it's not OK if your wife does the same?:eek:

[miyake_ck]

So it's OK for you to fuck around but it's not OK if your wife does the same?:eek:


i see where u are coming from,bro.

just for an example(CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG): so YOU are fine with your
wife fucking around(like u do) and get infected with STI. and you are such a BIG man to forget and forgive.

is that what u are trying to tell me!

[see see only]

So it's OK for you to fuck around but it's not OK if your wife does the same?:eek:

Hi TS,

Our boss here ... posted a question to you ... you simply just reply him lah ... and in this case ... quite a easy answer right? :rolleyes: YES or NO ... only :o

and see how is his reply to your answer lor ... nowadays "zhen si de" :eek:

[Mountain]

The situation is quite devastated to both of you but as a man, you need to accept this reality, face the music, face the fact.

What a woman needs at this point is her husband now. She needs the support, trust and understanding.

Follows the doctor's advice, and try to be patient with her.

[miyake_ck]

Hi TS,

Our boss here ... posted a question to you ... you simply just reply him lah ... and in this case ... quite a easy answer right? :rolleyes: YES or NO ... only :o

and see how is his reply to your answer lor ... nowadays "zhen si de" :eek:


i suppose u are right and i might have over-reacted. im no god, so which means i have wrong in my life too. i did go for pay sex after i got married and im not proud but there is this line i will never cross.

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

recently my wife called and told me that she is tested positive for syphilis and in stage 2.

i immediately make a appointment at DSC and get myself testing for both STI n HIV.

i can't tell any of my family member or friend about this issue. i know they are gonna look at her differently in the future and things is never gonna be the same again.

2 different doctors treated both of you

Why don't you and your wife make another appointment with your wife's doctor and clear this mystery once and for all :(

Who fuck who and kenna what as it is now is only speculation. Once you blame the wrong party, that's no turning back :(

[miyake_ck]

The situation is quite devastated to both of you but as a man, you need to accept this reality, face the music, face the fact.

What a woman needs at this point is her husband now. She needs the support, trust and understanding.

Follows the doctor's advice, and try to be patient with her.



knowing the fact and accepting it can be whole deal of different.

but i do also agree with you then my wife need my support and understanding right now. i did told her over the phone no matter what going to happened in the future we will deal with it later. at this moment is to go through the treatment and recover from the virus.

[wally888]

No right or wrong. But I think forget about the past and dunn pursue too much on your wife, juz move on. It's not end of the world oso, if u have kids juz enjoy the family life again.

Btw, why would u not have any sex with your wife for so long:confused:

[kgbkgb]

knowing the fact and accepting it can be whole deal of different.

but i do also agree with you then my wife need my support and understanding right now. i did told her over the phone no matter what going to happened in the future we will deal with it later. at this moment is to go through the treatment and recover from the virus.

Since u also fuck around, just forgive n forget lor if u still luv her. Dun forget it cld hv been the other way round and she most probably will also forgive u. :)

[miyake_ck]

No right or wrong. But I think forget about the past and dunn pursue too much on your wife, juz move on. It's not end of the world oso, if u have kids juz enjoy the family life again.

Btw, why would u not have any sex with your wife for so long:confused:



guess only time will tell if i will be able to move on and forget about this incident.

the last time we had sex was the night b4 she went back to KL and look after her dad(coming to 8 months n counting). is been 3 months since last i see her in KL to visit my father in law(i only stay for a night after which i have to rush back to town)

[5ag1_Boar]

Personal opinion...

Keep it between the 2 of you. If friends and especially family get involved in this kind of stuff, usually they will complicate matters with their piggy bank full of 2 cent coins and make it hard for you to resolve it. At most, confide in one or two friends who you really trust to keep the secret, is supportive, non-judgemental and can provide insights and wisdom.

Ultimately, it is between the two of you to settle the matter.

Hard to advise anything else as we have no idea the state of relationship between you and wife and many other details.

You are going through or will be going through a whole spectrum of emotions from anger to disappointment to depression to doubt. Emotions are normal... how you react is the important thing... try to look pass your emotions and decide what YOU want to DO.

From a general point of view, I would want the whole truth. Ask your wife to tell you the truth about what happened. Just listen first, let her talk, don't talk back, don't fight back. Just listen. Then tell her you need to think about it. And no, it will not be easy.

I am sure you are already asking questions like this:
- Was it a one time indiscretion? Or a long term one?
- Who is it?
- When did it happen?
- Why did it happen?

Many more questions. Get all these answered so you stress over the truth rather than a variety of made up stories in your head. Also you can make an informed decision.

The fact that she called and tell you about the disease rather than hide it, shows she is prepared to face the music, which to me, is a step in the right direction. Of course, it could also be because it is near impossible to hide such things, so she didn't have much choice... but still it means that she would have thought through it and know that she has to deal with it.

I don't know much about the disease, but I would want to find out what is the chance that she didn't catch it from a third party.

I have read how its possible that some STIs can spread because an infected person, after wiping themselves touched the cubicle door handle, then the next person touches the same spot, do their business and wipe themselves. For the sake of a relationship, I would want to be really, really sure about stuff like this. Google "syphilis accidental infection", there are quite a lot of results. Whatever you find out, don't tell your wife. Just arm yourself so you can tell whether she is being truthful.

You mentioned she looked after her sick dad. Could have been exposure at hospital? Maybe she help her dad with bodily functions and caught it from handling his penis or bedpan?

Also, assuming she is innocent, she would have been shocked and probably asked her doctor how she could have possibly contracted it without sex... her doctor would probably have discussed with her what she has been doing and pointed out the possible source of infections. Let's say, she denies a sexual infection, just ask her what her doctor thinks was the possible source of infection and see what she says.

[miyake_ck]

Since u also fuck around, just forgive n forget lor if u still luv her. Dun forget it cld hv been the other way round and she most probably will also forgive u. :)



that is what i been telling myself through out the whole night.

[5ag1_Boar]

While I was composing my reply, you posted a few more.

Can see that you love her. Then do as you said, be supportive and treat the medical condition first. The rest deal with later.

I can see one silver lining... if both of your relationship get through this intact, it will be stronger than ever.

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

While I was composing my reply, you posted a few more.

Can see that you love her. Then do as you said, be supportive and treat the medical condition first. The rest deal with later.

I can see one silver lining... if both of your relationship get through this intact, it will be stronger than ever.

So fast pass sentence on wife? and hubby comes out as a hero loving person? :D
This should be in Matters of the Heart section :D

[sammyboyfor]

just for an example(CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG): so YOU are fine with your
wife fucking around(like u do) and get infected with STI. and you are such a BIG man to forget and forgive.

Since I expect my partner to be faithful to me, I therefore make it a point to be faithful to her.

I impose no values on anyone that I, myself cannot uphold.

[miyake_ck]

[QUOTE=5ag1_Boar;7871438]Personal opinion...


From a general point of view, I would want the whole truth. Ask your wife to tell you the truth about what happened. Just listen first, let her talk, don't talk back, don't fight back. Just listen. Then tell her you need to think about it. And no, it will not be easy.

i would love to ask her for the truth too. but holding myself back as she is still going through with the treatment. i will stand by her till her treatment is over and is clear from the virus. maybe by then the truth matters no more, or not..


The fact that she called and tell you about the disease rather than hide it, shows she is prepared to face the music, which to me, is a step in the right direction. Of course, it could also be because it is near impossible to hide such things, so she didn't have much choice... but still it means that she would have thought through it and know that she has to deal with it.

a matter of fact, im gald that she did called n tell me the truth about her medica condition. in one way,like you said is impossible to hide n she ready to deal with such. on other hand, she do care if im infected or not.

I have read how its possible that some STIs can spread because an infected person, after wiping themselves touched the cubicle door handle, then the next person touches the same spot, do their business and wipe themselves. For the sake of a relationship, I would want to be really, really sure about stuff like this. Google "syphilis accidental infection", there are quite a lot of results. Whatever you find out, don't tell your wife. Just arm yourself so you can tell whether she is being truthful.


during my consultion time with the doctor in DSC, i asked so many question about the virus after knowing my test result is negitive. not because im interested in knowing more about the virus itself but actually deep down i was hoping the doctor would told me that a person can get infected no only through sex but lot more other meant. yet, i got very discouraging answers which like dropping bomb shell over my head.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

miyake_ck, I was activated by one snr bro to cum to this thread.
Ponder over these words I am gonna tell u
If u kenna STD, any STD besides HIV, wud u tell ur wife?
Of cos not rite, cos it's as good as a self death sentence correct?
So, take designer STD medication, e.g Zithromax, 48hrs settled.
Now, I am looking from a very speculative stance, if ur wife got STD from someone else, wud it not be normal for her to look for him n tell him instead of telling u?
Also, STD's effects on man & women r very diff hor
Men will see n feel it's discomfort.
Women can carry it for a long period of time without even having any discomfort at all meaning even if they had it, they might not even know they got it.
Then again, since this sentence is medically stated FACT, hv u ever tot where she actually got it from n not even knowing she got it till the basic initial infection went to the next stage?
Think about what I said

[miyake_ck]

Since I expect my partner to be faithful to me, I therefore make it a point to be faithful to her.

I impose no values on anyone that I, myself cannot uphold.



that is the best quote i have seen so far! point taken,bro.
i apologise if my earlier reply was in anyway found offence
to you, and i do mean it.

[miyake_ck]

[QUOTE=DO_YOU_BJ;7871615]miyake_ck, I was activated by one snr bro to cum to this thread.
Ponder over these words I am gonna tell u
If u kenna STD, any STD besides HIV, wud u tell ur wife?
Of cos not rite, cos it's as good as a self death sentence correct?
So, take designer STD medication, e.g Zithromax, 48hrs settled.
Now, I am looking from a very speculative stance, if ur wife got STD from someone else, wud it not be normal for her to look for him n tell him instead of telling u?


'giving others a chance is just as good like giving myself a chance.'

[DO_YOU_BJ]

'giving others a chance is just as good like giving myself a chance.'
U TOTALLY misread my post.
Forget it!

[maxsee]

You r lucky she transmitted Syphillis to u which is curable...wat if it has been HIV...has tat ever occurs to u..the fact that she refuses to admit her mistake means it might happens again....can u handle it if it is HIV next round....better to confront her and find out what really happens...:D

[Big Sexy]

mate..not taking a dig at you..
but syphilis is an STD caused by the bacteria Treponema pallidum...
it is not cause by a virus.. your doctor should have told you that...

as for your wife.. she obviously has been naughty..


during my consultion time with the doctor in DSC, i asked so many question about the virus after knowing my test result is negitive. not because im interested in knowing more about the virus itself but actually deep down i was hoping the doctor would told me that a person can get infected no only through sex but lot more other meant. yet, i got very discouraging answers which like dropping bomb shell over my head.

[<<totally>>]

U TOTALLY misread my post.
Forget it!

Da ge, did you called me? When did I misread ? Never leh, Oh I see, is a mistake by someone else. (TS's posts a lot of English mistakes, hard to read)

Da ge if you did notice what I noticed, the notice that you are noticed in that notice is not worth noticing.

Noticing the worthiness in notice is the first step of notice to take the notice and in turn that notice only shall lead us to get the notion of notice even without going deep into notice as the notice itself reveals the interest in notice.

I will see what is needed when I come back , I'm going down to Joo Chiat to have a beer with my brother. :D

[BigBallMan]

So it's OK for you to fuck around but it's not OK if your wife does the same?:eek:

A key that opens many locks is a master key.

A lock that could be unlock by many keys is a useless lock.

[see see only]

A key that opens many locks is a master key.

A lock that could be unlock by many keys is a useless lock.

Bro BigBallMan,

As much as i like your quote .... ;)

Me have to add on a little more to the above .... there is no lock in the world "unpickable", even the safest "safe" ... has a way to break as well .... :rolleyes:

Tat's why CCTV and alarm system are added. Therefore .... if a lock is picked by someone else other then the rightful owner .... the rightful owner need to bear some responsiblities as well .... lol :p


In another words, TS ... was the situation like the above .........??

SO, WAS THE LOCK SAFELY KEPT ???? by you showing your love to her ???? this ..... you have to ask yourself ...... :)

[rugalsc]

Both husband and wife had flings outside, but the wife clearly had more fun than the husband and received a 'freebie'.

Wife 1
Husband 0

[<<totally>>]

'giving others a chance is just as good like giving myself a chance.'

Let me tell you where you have gone wrong!! The current scenario is not about giving chances. Look over here! You are giving her the chance but she is not giving you! You must be still sleeping or yet to recover from those bomb raids you got at DSC. Dun you get it, the muzzle is pointing to you at the primary instance when your lovingly wife made that phone call to you.

REAL FACTS on Syphilis.

Transmission Route
- Sexual Contact
- Mother to Fetus during Pregnancy or at birth
Signs and Symptoms
- 4 stages (primary, secondary, latent, and tertiary)
- Most Common Location for Women is cervix (44%) while Heterosexual men and Homosexual men is Penis (99%).

After the initial exposure (average 21 days) a skin lesion, called a chancre, appears at the point of contact.

This is classically (40% of the time) a single, firm, painless, non-itchy skin ulceration with a clean base and sharp borders between 0.3 and 3.0 cm in size. The lesion, however, may take on almost any form. In the classic form, it evolves from a macule to a papule and finally to an erosion or ulcer.

Occasionally, multiple lesions may be present (~40%), with multiple lesions more common when coinfected with HIV. Lesions may be painful or tender (30%), and they may occur outside of the genitals (2–7%). (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Syphilis)



Also, STD's effects on man & women r very diff hor
Men will see n feel it's discomfort.
Women can carry it for a long period of time without even having any discomfort at all meaning even if they had it, they might not even know they got it.
Then again, since this sentence is medically stated FACT, hv u ever tot where she actually got it from n not even knowing she got it till the basic initial infection went to the next stage?

It is to let you see and think with reference to DYBJ's comment.


Think about what I said

Da ge DYBJ is trying to show you the direction but from what I see is that you TOTALLY did not see it at all. If you did not see, then I supposed you did not even think too. :eek:


Now, I am looking from a very speculative stance, if ur wife got STD from someone else, wud it not be normal for her to look for him n tell him instead of telling u?

Now we come back to the important fact. It is so damn clear that the her "Arctic Rifle equipped with scope" had her cross hair aimed at your forehead, when she called you. Wah~ you so big heart! Even she gave you a green hat, accused you of giving her some diseases and you still give her a big fat chance. Hmm....I do feel the need to applause for that act of yours :rolleyes:

If she did called and checked out with her lover boy, do you think she will ask you to go and have a check? WHY must you make me say things so direct? Hope my comments are in time for you to wake up.

Last night drinking session with my brother at 老板娘 is relaxed but due to the fact that I did not drink often nowadays, I cannot tahan but to fall asleep when I come back. So only when I wake up in the morning, I was then able to present my comments.

笨笨笨笨笨笨笨笨

[miyake_ck]

am just a average jo who have low IQ n EQ , someone who is not bloody rich or poor. am so sorry to have bros reading through my posted which is so poorly written in english.(i should have pay more attention at school) is not my intention to piss off anyone for any reason or whatsoever. am just a man who have no one to turn to for advise regarding this 'issue' of mine. and so decided to start a thread hoping to find words of wisdom or 2 cent of advice from bros out there who are a whole lot smarter then i am.

guess is pretty obvious what had actuall happened, or not! anyway, is gonna take a few good months before my wife is clear of this virus or infection and till that happened im gonna be there for her. while at the main time i can do some soul searching and thinking. im not GOD or a man with BIG HEART like some bro mention earlier but till i decided the relationship must come to an end, she is still my wife after all(in the eye of law too). looking after a wife while she is ill is a duty of a husband,regardless what wrong she have done before hand.

for all the bros who have taken their precious time reading through my posted(once again im so sorry about how poorly is been written) and not too even mention wasting your happy hours to posted your thoughts and comment here. but strangely,im not looking for an answer, a matter of fact i have not idea what am i aftering! guess, it will come to me when the time is right.

nevertheless ,from deep down of my heart, i thank you all and please stay safe and healthy!

[Ladyrain]

Miyake ck,
I'm purely writing this post from my point of view if one day I'm a husband.
I will be fuming mad, that's for certain. However, I will consider and appreciate her honesty in choosing to come to me with information like this.
It's not just about being together as a married couple for good but also for the bad. It's her attitude towards this matter that counts to me.
If my wife is truly sorry and regretted her actions, I'll accept her with open arms. That being said, she mustn't abuse my trust in the same way ever and understands that I'm also hurting and building trust all over again with her together.

[<<totally>>]

for all the bros who have taken their precious time reading through my posted(once again im so sorry about how poorly is been written) and not too even mention wasting your happy hours to posted your thoughts and comment here. but strangely,im not looking for an answer, a matter of fact i have not idea what am i aftering! guess, it will come to me when the time is right.

nevertheless ,from deep down of my heart, i thank you all and please stay safe and healthy!

she felt my tone has completely change and was really sad cause she knew my faith with her was kind of gone too.
i can't tell any of my family member or friend about this issue. i know they are gonna look at her differently in the future and things is never gonna be the same again.
guys, i really needed some words of wisdom here pls.
from a man who is in great deal of pain and lost!

TS, I do admit I might be using a slightly stronger tone to voice out my comment, it is a matter of fact that the normal approach did not bring you to your senses. You can be assured that no happy hours of mine was wasted for I posted my comments in the morning.

With reference to the iq, eq, paying attention in school and education level, I am nobody with a paper qualification no higher than 'A' levels and earning a living on the streets in Geylang. My transportation is a $90 bicycle (made in china). I am no better than you in any aspects yet I do make it a point to present my comments in a way that most people do not need to re-read again or trying to figure out what I am trying to say.

I, miyake_ck, take you, Mrs miyake_ck, to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.

Look at the way how you sounded initially and the way you sounded now. Now to me it seems, you are trying to be the good husband and fulfilling the marriage vows. Since you have made your decision, please do not have regrets later on in your life. Why should I cared, when you yourself do not even cared. :rolleyes: 牛不喝水强按头。

am just a man who have no one to turn to for advise regarding this 'issue' of mine. and so decided to start a thread hoping to find words of wisdom or 2 cent of advice from bros out there who are a whole lot smarter then i am.
Are you not smart or simply bo chup?

[cloudangel]

Syphilis doesn't know transmit via body fluids, but also things like saliva and tears.... So it might definitely mean she cheated on you, do give her a benefit of doubt...

[Diety]

I think to move forward, u need to accept what she has done. Only then can u look at option n ways to try to solve it.

[<<totally>>]

hi mate,

i guess u have taken my last posting in my thread too personal. i have no hard feeling against your posting in my thread. im truly appreciate your thoughts and comment which i oso respect.

please do not get upset over this mis-communication or mis-understanding. if in anyway it makes you feel any better, i apologise for whatever i have done or wrote which offended you. even thought we do not know each other in person. please take my words, upsetting you or any bros is not what i intent to do.

mate, u have a great night.

Bro miyake_ck, hope you do not mind that I quote your pm to me. That letter to me a handshake and a gesture of brotherhood. I accepted the letter and drop whatever happened behind. No hard feelings to you too. Maybe due to emotional pain, thus resulting in those posts. I do know that what you are currently going through, maybe is beyond our imagination so do take care of yourself.

If you ever need any advice again, feel free to post as the brothers here are all willing to help and shared their experiences with you. :)

[HowBohBuckSai]

That letter to me a handshake and a gesture of brotherhood. I accepted the letter and drop whatever happened behind. No hard feelings to you too. Maybe due to emotional pain, thus resulting in those posts. I do know that what you are currently going through, maybe is beyond our imagination so do take care of yourself.

If you ever need any advice again, feel free to post as the brothers here are all willing to help and shared their experiences with you. :)

bro totally, i admire your magnanimity and your thoughts and advices to TS..
really respect....


TS, in my humble opinion...most guys are MCP and although like what boss had said why cant we accept if we eat out our spouses also can eat out... but the hard real truth is we being Asian, I believe... still generally speaking eating out by wives are taboo and not easily accepted just like swinging, having FBs etc..

However, how one reacts depends on the love, commitment, bonding between husband and wife at that time of the incident... if this question is posed to me, I can tell you now that I tell U that I wont accept it cos i have been made a cuckoo BUT if in fact it really happened and I am faced with it... well I may learn to accept it and let go.... life is short.... when one is dead..his body etc doesnt matters anymore... only the memories linger on....so if there is love there will be forgiveness and acceptance and then move on.... there are so many live cases everyday.

Err... I shan't comment on whether your wifey tried to push her condition to u being responsible on this but like what Ichigo had suggested... talk to her and tell her to come clean on this...who, where, how but assure her u will accept and move on ( of cos omit the graphic sex part lah) provided she vowed never to cheat on u again and u likewise.

I respect and admire your decision of setting aside the feelings of being cheated and now only concentrate on her getting well but once she is well or on the way to recovery... u need to sort this out with her... this issue cannot be swept under the carpet... cos it will form an unhealed wound which could cause complication in the long run. There will always be scar ... forgive sure but forget... dun kid ourselves but learn to live with it.

Take care TS... the decision is yours to make no one else... but life is short... ask yourself will this matter, if u are diagnosed with cancer now with limited time to live, will she stand by your side etc, if the answer is yes.... learn to accept that " To err is human, to forgive is divine".

P/s

~ Fact on Syphilis ~

Syphilis is transmitted from person to person by direct contact with syphilis sores. Sores occur mainly on the external genitals, vagina, anus, or in the rectum. Sores also can occur on the lips and in the mouth. Syphilis can be transmitted during vaginal, anal, or oral sexual contact. Pregnant women with the disease can pass it to their unborn children.

Take care.

[sammyboyfor]

bro totally, i admire your magnanimity and your thoughts and advices to TS..


"Advice" is a non countable noun; you do not add an "s" to make it plural.

"Advice" is like "Rice". You say... "Please pass me the Rice." You don't say "Please pass me the rices" because "Rice", like "Advice", is a non countable noun.

There are many other examples. To test your knowledge of non countable nouns, go to English Language Quiz - Countable or Non-countable Nouns (I-TESL-J) (http://a4esl.org/q/j/ck/ch-countnouns.html) and take the test.

[iMonk]

"Advice" is a non countable noun; you do not add an "s" to make it plural..

haha boss here u go again


:D

[5ag1_Boar]

Since I expect my partner to be faithful to me, I therefore make it a point to be faithful to her.

I impose no values on anyone that I, myself cannot uphold.

So ironic that boss runs this web site.

"Advice" is a non countable noun; you do not add an "s" to make it plural.

"Advice" is like "Rice". You say... "Please pass me the Rice." You don't say "Please pass me the rices" because "Rice", like "Advice", is a non countable noun.

...

And more ironic also, if boss is actually an English school teacher. :p

[sammyboyfor]

So ironic that boss runs this web site.
And more ironic also, if boss is actually an English school teacher. :p

I don't run it for myself. I run it for you guys. :p

I'm no teacher. All I'm trying to do is to improve English standards in Singapore.

You have a better chance of scoring with the right sorts of chicks if you communicate in a grammatically correct manner.

[Hwei6969]

Syphilis can be transmitted through direct contact with a syphilis sore. The methods of transmission are:

By having vaginal, anal or oral sex with someone who has the infection.
From a mother to her unborn baby.
Syphilis cannot be passed on by sharing baths, toilets, towels or eating utensils.

Secondary stage of syphilis

If the infection has not been treated, the secondary stage of syphilis will usually occur from 3 to 6 weeks after the appearance of chancres. The symptoms often include:

A flu-like illness, a feeling of tiredness and loss of appetite, accompanied by swollen glands (this can last for weeks or months).
A non-itchy rash covering the whole body or appearing in patches.
Flat, warty-looking growths on the vulva in women and around the anus in both sexes.
White patches on the tongue or roof of the mouth.
Patchy hair loss.
During this stage syphilis is very infectious and may be sexually transmitted to a partner. These symptoms will usually clear up within a few weeks, but may re-occur for years.

Treatment at any time during the first two stages of syphilis will cure the infection.

Treatment is only capable of killing the syphilis bacteria and preventing further damage. It cannot repair damage already done to organs, or prevent re-infection if the person is exposed to the bacteria again.

[Hantu69]

Bro ts,

I think the decision lies with you, why don't ou and ur wife have a good talk over this isuse when her treatment is over and then decide what is the next cause of action?

Do not make decision out of implusive and regret it later, we are normal humans and no saints and made mistake, I believed that if one is repented for his/her mistake, he/she shall be forgiven. As for you husband and wife, its fated that you all are married and should treasure each other..

It's not easy to maintain a family and is up to both of you to work it out, ask yourself this question, do you cherish your wife and want to maintain this family? If yes then you will have gotta your answer..

Just my humble 2 cens worth..

[Putin]

All I'm trying to do is to improve English
standards in Singapore.


You do know you are fighting a losing battle :p

[Xia406]

I don't run it for myself. I run it for you guys. :p

I'm no teacher. All I'm trying to do is to improve English standards in Singapore.

You have a better chance of scoring with the right sorts of chicks if you communicate in a grammatically correct manner.

There is so much depth in this. *applause*

[Bonus08]

Here's what I am trying to understand = why TS wife call him to tell him she has Syphillis when they have not been intimate for so many months. Surely she must know, or at least she would have checked with her doctor, that she could not have gotten it from her TS (her husband). So by telling him, she is admitting to him she slept around behind his back. Why would she do that?
Since she is still looking after her father in KL, she could have just gotten treatment to cure the problem and kept quiet about it to her husband, but confront who ever she has been sleeping with...

[Bomohsg]

that is what i been telling myself through out the whole night.

First things first.

Maybe the truth matters. Get her to open up and tell you what really happened? Otherwise how to resolve unless both of you are honest with each other?

[Jammed]

If you have family, and if one of them does something wrong to hurt you, would'nt you fogive them no matter what it is? Of course everyone is different and every case is different. But look at it this way - if you are the one who got infected due to chionging, would'nt you wish your wife and family forgive you and welcome you back in their arms? I think that alot of your feelings and confusion is now mixed up and it keeps preying on your mind that she was unfaithful. You should put these a side and focus on the well being of one you love. Try to look at the bright side- your wife got to love you a lot to confide in you and voice her guilt/terror. So in a nutshell, life is short. Look to the silver lining, don't waste time on negative thoughts. Time will heal your relationship.

[Iemanishere]

Yes, bro.. Have a good talk with her...

[hornie]

TS is such a hypocrite. One minute he is worried that he passed her something cos he was fucking around, now he feels betrayed that his wife is also. Please la, you can play, your wife cannot play?

[KCisBad]

TS is such a hypocrite. One minute he is worried that he passed her something cos he was fucking around, now he feels betrayed that his wife is also. Please la, you can play, your wife cannot play?

Spot on!

But lets admit alot of us are also like that. Double standard.
When it happens to us, we are quick to judge. In this case he judge his wife.


But as a 3rd party, when u are not under the situation u can think clearly so we can say all this. But it takes time for someone experiencing it to come to this point and understand that they are being double standard and its better to live life and let live and forgive. :D

[spoff]

Hope all bros here respect TS for his sharing.

I know TS is not an angel. However we must know that a bro here is seeking help and advice here.

PLEASE dont flame him. He is NO GOD. we are not perfect too.

I really hope we all give TS some comforting words and advice. What happened to TS may happen to anyone of us here.

Anyway, I feel if TS has feelings towards his wife, to forgive and forget. Start everything afresh and do your best to make it work again.

Good luck bro

please dont flame me, I am just hoping we all help each other in times of need and not flame him.