My Fiance is addicted to SammyBoy

[anmoment]

Hi all,

i recently discovered my fiance of 2 years is constantly on Sammyboyforum.
Constantly means whenever he's not working or with me.
That translate to anytime after 6pm (if he has no OT), till 2am (or when he's sleepy) plus Sat & Sun. He is an extremely HARDCORE Samster.

I am a very good girl and we've never had sex and he understands it.
(Of course, we did kiss n all. Everything but sex.)

My fiance takes care of me, respect me, very very sweet.
I would have NEVER NEVER EVER believe that he has been ACTIVELY looking for casual sex, paid sex, special massages etc...
If it's not because someone told me about it, i might never have discovered it.

Though, my upbringing and religion discourages masturbation or pornography, i do not mind if he does so since he does not have the same beliefs as me. However, i can NEVER ACCEPT my future hubby to visit prostitutes.

[taoxue36]

Hi all,

i recently discovered my fiance of 2 years is constantly on Sammyboyforum.
Constantly means whenever he's not working or with me.
That translate to anytime after 6pm (if he has no OT), till 2am (or when he's sleepy) plus Sat & Sun. He is an extremely HARDCORE Samster.

I am a very good girl and we've never had sex and he understands it.
(Of course, we did kiss n all. Everything but sex.)

My fiance takes care of me, respect me, very very sweet.
I would have NEVER NEVER EVER believe that he has been ACTIVELY looking for casual sex, paid sex, special massages etc...
If it's not because someone told me about it, i might never have discovered it.

Though, my upbringing and religion discourages masturbation or pornography, i do not mind if he does so since he does not have the same beliefs as me. However, i can NEVER ACCEPT my future hubby to visit prostitutes.

1) Can anyone here explain to me how this can happen?

2) Should i marry this man? Or should i break off?

If he promised to change, should i believe him? I do not believe i have the power to change any man especially since he's so hardcore about sex.

3) What will my future be like with him?

4) Why do men pay for sex?

Please do not suggest that we have sex before marriage.
I'm so glad that we didn't, at least now i can leave him and build another relationship with a good man.

Though, i must say that i do not know who to trust anymore.

5) Lastly, if i were your serious girlfriend, fiancee or wife, would you quit doing this if you know exactly how hurt i am?

[pussylovettes]

I do not know how shall I put it but it's time your should have a heart to heart talk. The problem lies on 2 party. That's all I could say.

[taoxue36]

from what i know, he's been like that before meeting me..

[taoxue36]

I do not know how shall I put it but it's time your should have a heart to heart talk. The problem lies on 2 party. That's all I could say.

i really dont understand how the problem lies with me?
can u explain?

[owl888]

Doesn't mean he come to this forum to look for sex, same as that u go Geylang doesn't mean u call chicken?

Maybe he oso troubled that his future wife not very nice towards him so he's visited the section called "Matters of the heart" for advice as most troubled poor guy's purpose of visiting SBF?

Since he's a nice guy, takes care of me, respect me, very very sweet......then I think u should trust him coz he's oso an adult. He's got his freedom to do whatever he can during his free time.......

Best u ask him personally, dun listen to hearsay......have a heart to heart talk.

My 4 cents of thoughts!

[Shiny]

Ts, just my 2 cents. It probably means that he values you enough to respect your boundaries and not force you to do anything you don't want to do, and yet not enough to curb his desires and keep his dick to himself. If you marry him, be prepared to have this behaviour of his continue with or without your knowledge or approval.

Ask yourself this. If he is able to provide for you and your future family, play his role well as a husband and father, and if you are able to close one eye to his outside activities, then go ahead and marry him. If not, dump him because a leopard will never change its spots. That's the sad truth.

[deludedgal]

1) Can anyone here explain to me how this can happen?

its in guys nature to be horny and some girls are horny.. some guys are not and so are some girls..

2) Should i marry this man? Or should i break off?

its really up to u... but most men enjoy sex

If he promised to change, should i believe him? I do not believe i have the power to change any man especially since he's so hardcore about sex.

change what? not to surf sammy any more?

3) What will my future be like with him?

He may be wanting sex mostly...

4) Why do men pay for sex?

because they cannot get it from gf,wife and find it bored doing with their SO or their SO do not like sex..

Please do not suggest that we have sex before marriage.
I'm so glad that we didn't, at least now i can leave him and build another relationship with a good man.

Though, i must say that i do not know who to trust anymore.

5) Lastly, if i were your serious girlfriend, fiancee or wife, would you quit doing this if you know exactly how hurt i am?

I am a girl so I would not know.. but i guess all guys can tell u they quit, but secretly stilll come here.. as long as they are not into prostitution, i still think its acceptable to read things here and not get carried away

just my own thoughts.. just want to say the world isn't what we thought it is and many things happen despite us not wanting it to happen. Sometimes truth hurts.. we can live in a veil of rainbows as long as you think everyone is a saint.. or face the fact that humans do err and we try to be the best we can.. hope u will make a choice that will make you happy

[Goodpack]

Hi all,

i recently discovered my fiance of 2 years is constantly on Sammyboyforum.
Constantly means whenever he's not working or with me.
That translate to anytime after 6pm (if he has no OT), till 2am (or when he's sleepy) plus Sat & Sun. He is an extremely HARDCORE Samster.

I am a very good girl and we've never had sex and he understands it.
(Of course, we did kiss n all. Everything but sex.)

My fiance takes care of me, respect me, very very sweet.
I would have NEVER NEVER EVER believe that he has been ACTIVELY looking for casual sex, paid sex, special massages etc...
If it's not because someone told me about it, i might never have discovered it.

Though, my upbringing and religion discourages masturbation or pornography, i do not mind if he does so since he does not have the same beliefs as me. However, i can NEVER ACCEPT my future hubby to visit prostitutes.

1) Can anyone here explain to me how this can happen?

2) Should i marry this man? Or should i break off?

If he promised to change, should i believe him? I do not believe i have the power to change any man especially since he's so hardcore about sex.

3) What will my future be like with him?

4) Why do men pay for sex?

Please do not suggest that we have sex before marriage.
I'm so glad that we didn't, at least now i can leave him and build another relationship with a good man.

Though, i must say that i do not know who to trust anymore.

5) Lastly, if i were your serious girlfriend, fiancee or wife, would you quit doing this if you know exactly how hurt i am?

TS .... dun be a frog in a well. Go out and get to know the real world as it is... not some sheltered image of life that was planted into your head by the system. I feel it would be better for the 2 of you to go separate ways.... for HIS sake as his future would be ruined with a narrow minded person like you as his wife.

[zeajay]

So why are you here asking us to solve your problem when you do not want him here in the first place? We can't tell him to quit this place for you you know.

[xiaoquan]

1.) Most man does it. get over it. be lesbian?

2.) Up to you, very likely the next better man you meet already fuck countless of ladies before.

3.) no idea.

4.) Cause GF/Wife refuse to provide sex.

5.) I would if i'm serious about the woman that i'm going to marry.

seriously, topic on monogamy have been discussed many times in every part of the world. conclusion, humans, like every living things on earth, don't practice monogamy.

we only do it because of culture, religion and more.... whether or not you want to accept, its up to you.

May i know who is the one who told you about it? He/she might try to sabo your fiance. Since that person know, he/she might have a account too.

[sp150]

Who was the somebody whom told you about it? Related to you? What was the motivation behind?
Would you have preferred your fiancé to do that after you have gotten married? It's better for him to have experienced it all.
As for your question,
1) I think this happens because all men have fantasies.
2) no one is in any position to tell you what to do.
3) we are not fortune tellers we can't tell if he is gonna change for the better or worse. But if these still continues I bet he will be damn bored, but you might become a wild kitten that he never expected.
4) Various reasons. Short term relieve, no gf, lonely etc
5) Well this depends, I don't even know you.

Last of all, you this very good girl is in this forum too. So does that makes you a bad person too. Pls be more matured in your thoughts and don't just jump to conclusion.

Cheers! And chill.

[dreamyguy89]

TS dude, having fun during school holidays?

[HokkienPeng]

Seriously? These type of questions? A man has needs and if you can't provide it he still have to look for madam thumb and her four daughters or some other pussys that will and not yours. He's being respectful by not demanding or forcing you to do it.

Don't be so fucking naive. Sew up your cunt and while you at it, grow an oyster pearl in it.

Just because he comes to sb you want to break it off? Gosh, we are not in the 60s and the world may end in a few days. Cunts like you creates tensions in men that goes out to wage war by not relieving the sexual tensions in them. Call yourself a girlfriend. Pffffff.

[kryptonite123]

Can anyone explain to me how this can happen?

Men in general have the ability to separate love and sex. He may love just one woman (gf/wife) but may have numerous sex partners. I am guessing you are that woman your bf loves, i.e. the one who he sees having a long-term relationship with. I deduce this from the fact you he never demanded sex from you; this shows he respects you. However, your bf, like all other normal men, needs to get his rocks off. Masturbation, though is a way to do so, is nowhere as pleasurable as having sex.


Should I marry this man? Or should I break off?
This question is best left to you to answer.


What will my future be like with him?
Only God knows (if there really is one).


Why do men pay for sex?
It’s convenient and hassle-free. I remember reading somewhere men pay prostitutes not to come, but for them to leave. Men have needs and fantasies and prostitutes can satisfy them. In short, I have a need and she provides the service – no love and emotions involved. I think you are also interested in knowing why men have this tendency to want to have sex with multiple women. In evolution theory, the way a male ensures his genes do not die out is to plant his seeds in as many women as possible.

Lastly, if i were your serious girlfriend, fiancee or wife, would you quit doing this if you know exactly how hurt i am?
Yes, I would. If I love a girl, the last thing I want to do is to hurt her. But then again, this is easier said than done, and I do not have a serious girlfriend/fiancée/wife at the moment. Perhaps those who are in such a situation are in a better position to answer your question.

I really don’t understand how the problem lies with me? Can u explain?
It’s not exactly your problem, but more like a conflict between your values and beliefs and his needs. Your religion forbids you to engage in premarital sex yet your bf needs to satisfy his urges.

[ahseng00]

Hi all,

i recently discovered my fiance of 2 years is constantly on Sammyboyforum.
Constantly means whenever he's not working or with me.
That translate to anytime after 6pm (if he has no OT), till 2am (or when he's sleepy) plus Sat & Sun. He is an extremely HARDCORE Samster.

I am a very good girl and we've never had sex and he understands it.
(Of course, we did kiss n all. Everything but sex.)

My fiance takes care of me, respect me, very very sweet.
I would have NEVER NEVER EVER believe that he has been ACTIVELY looking for casual sex, paid sex, special massages etc...
If it's not because someone told me about it, i might never have discovered it.

Though, my upbringing and religion discourages masturbation or pornography, i do not mind if he does so since he does not have the same beliefs as me. However, i can NEVER ACCEPT my future hubby to visit prostitutes.

1) Can anyone here explain to me how this can happen?

2) Should i marry this man? Or should i break off?

If he promised to change, should i believe him? I do not believe i have the power to change any man especially since he's so hardcore about sex.

3) What will my future be like with him?

4) Why do men pay for sex?

Please do not suggest that we have sex before marriage.
I'm so glad that we didn't, at least now i can leave him and build another relationship with a good man.

Though, i must say that i do not know who to trust anymore.

5) Lastly, if i were your serious girlfriend, fiancee or wife, would you quit doing this if you know exactly how hurt i am?

You have one of my very rare posts.

Firstly, isnt the above reason good enough to be with him?
There are so many other guys out there who do not visit this forum, but flirt and have affairs.

Secondly, what is your main reason for anger?
He is just visiting a forum, a sex forum no doubt, but is this a valid reason to break off with him?

Thirdly, does visiting a adult forum equate to engaging a prositute?
/ˈfôrəm/

Noun

1.A meeting or medium where ideas and views on a particular issue can be exchanged.
2.An Internet message board.

If your main concern, which i roughly "understand" from your post, is you cannot accept someone who is looking for casual, paid sex, how can you be sure that your next beau-to-be, have not engaged a prositute before?

[xiaoquan]

TS, you Christian or what?

A lot of times, daddy and mummy say can only have sex after marriage. But it's that really the case? Maybe they're already having fun before marriage. Haha.

But, seriously, if you can't accept this, go be a lesbian.

[sgjoey]

TS....

It's time you grow up.

Instead of going by your holy book or listening to your priest, do yourself a favor and read the book "Sex At Dawn" by Ryan and Jetha. It's widely available at the various branches of our National Library.

Learn the true sexual nature of men (and women), and maybe, just maybe, you can be a much happier person.

[unsung80]

Welcum to SBF. Either you join him or leave him. :D

[davidguetta]

I seriously cnt stand how TS is so naive..

Get real and..this is the real world..stop living in ur own fantasy world.

[jongxian]

1) Can anyone here explain to me how this can happen?

This can happen because something here attracted him very much.
Best scenario for you --> He wanted to be the master of sex so in the future, he gets to satisfy you.
Worst case --> He is horny/love sex more than he respect his loyalty towards you.

2) Should i marry this man? Or should i break off?

How much do you understand and how much do you know him? imagine he can do this 2 years behind your back, how close are you with him? if he can hide this from you, he can hide any other shit. So you busted his shit, if you continue your relation with him, you are taking risk, or do you think you can fix this problem? if the answer is no for both question i ask, i guess it is obvious what you should do?

3) What will my future be like with him?

If you ask this question that means you're very dependant. Create and control your own future. Your future doesn't depend on anyone right? but yourself. for the sake of answering.
Best scenario --> he decided to be 100% loyal to you once you guys married since you are giving him sex.
Worst case --> lol up to your imagination

4) Why do men pay for sex?

Why do you pay for food when you're hungry?

Though, i must say that i do not know who to trust anymore.

dude your sense of judgement sucks, learn to improve this

5) Lastly, if i were your serious girlfriend, fiancee or wife, would you quit doing this if you know exactly how hurt i am?

Love vs Sex ???? for me i choose over love.
but my answer doesn't help you at all right? yet you cannot ask him directly, he can always lie. this question depends on personal belief. eg : childhood experience, daily practises , religion, a lot of external factor as well.

there's some psychological test whereby you can get to know if he will choose love or if he will choose sex. you just have to act like playing a game with him, yet you get to go inside his head.

My personal opinion : from the way you describe your feelings, and from how you don't know any shit about him, that show how selfish you are in this relationship. and since you are so selfish about this, he will feel there's no wrong about him being selfish. there are so many solutions etc, but how much effort are you willing to put in to save this?

P/S : i am not anyone to judge, just sharing.

[songsonglah]

You need to pray for our minister Lui Tuck Yew to get divorced and then get married to him. As someone who has never watch porn, I'm sure he will be your perfect match.

It's man's nature to mate. If you're just giving him kisses, touches here and there, and the leave him high and dry + blue balls, is it any wonder that he goes out to find satisfaction elsewhere?

Well, at least he is using the easier way out if paying and forgetting about it. It will be worse if he engages with affairs and end up, decide to ditch you for that other woman. Now, if you say that in that case, you wouldn't want him either because he's been "tainted" already, then you're going to have a very hard time finding that perfect guy for you. And even if you found one, there's a high chance that he's lying to you as there is virtually no way of verifying whether is a guy still a virgin.

And I haven't even touch on how men will almost definitely after X years of marriage. It's gonna freak you out for sure.

[Sirrus]

Hi all,

i recently discovered my fiance of 2 years is constantly on Sammyboyforum.
Constantly means whenever he's not working or with me.
That translate to anytime after 6pm (if he has no OT), till 2am (or when he's sleepy) plus Sat & Sun. He is an extremely HARDCORE Samster.

I am a very good girl and we've never had sex and he understands it.
(Of course, we did kiss n all. Everything but sex.)

My fiance takes care of me, respect me, very very sweet.
I would have NEVER NEVER EVER believe that he has been ACTIVELY looking for casual sex, paid sex, special massages etc...
If it's not because someone told me about it, i might never have discovered it.

Though, my upbringing and religion discourages masturbation or pornography, i do not mind if he does so since he does not have the same beliefs as me. However, i can NEVER ACCEPT my future hubby to visit prostitutes.

1) Can anyone here explain to me how this can happen?

2) Should i marry this man? Or should i break off?

If he promised to change, should i believe him? I do not believe i have the power to change any man especially since he's so hardcore about sex.

3) What will my future be like with him?

4) Why do men pay for sex?

Please do not suggest that we have sex before marriage.
I'm so glad that we didn't, at least now i can leave him and build another relationship with a good man.

Though, i must say that i do not know who to trust anymore.

5) Lastly, if i were your serious girlfriend, fiancee or wife, would you quit doing this if you know exactly how hurt i am?

because sex is one way for man to feel affection and feel desired.
thats means ur not giving him what he needs.

by not having sex with him, it make him feel undesired by you or not as important. You put Religion and Face over him. Maybe you dont love him as much as you think.

when you love someone it should be simple. No need to complicate things by thinking of Religion, Family values and upbringing. Material Future and etc.
When you think of things like this in your relationship with him then that means you dont love him as much as you think. You should be thinking of how happy and nice it is to sleep beside him and wake up beside him. Spending time together thru thick and thin.

Not OMG I CANT HAVE SEX WITH YOU BECAUSE OF RELIGION and Face and family values and other things that will label me a slut who is sinful.
Tell me, what is wrong with having pre-martial sex with the person you love whole heartily? Is your love for a man a sin? is it dirty?

The fact that he stay by you even without sex means he love you, and he has no choice but to seek sex from outside to balance his psychology.
how would you feel if he doesnt want to hold hands with you and avoid physical contact with you. That what he is feeling. He must be thinking "whats wrong with me? Aint i nice to her enough? Am i doing something wrong, Am i ugly? Do i smell? Does she love me?"

If you cannot sacrifice anything to him, can you say u truly love him. here an example that maybe u can understand better.

Are you truly a good girl who is god fearing and if you sleep around, rob, beat, cheat people? Your willing to not do all this for your belief because u value ur religion.

Now the question is what is more important for you. Your religion or the Love of ur life.

[Sirrus]

or u have another way out of this. Stay single for life, stay a virgin and devote yourself to God.

This way no1 can hurt you, m i right?
everyday wake up, read bible. recite bible. Clean the church, say many prayers and thanks to god. This way no1 can hurt you ever again because im sure religion never harmed any1 in the world before right?

not a single drop of blood was spilled for religion before right?

[maxman]

Men in general have the ability to separate love and sex. He may love just one woman (gf/wife) but may have numerous sex partners. I am guessing you are that woman your bf loves, i.e. the one who he sees having a long-term relationship with. I deduce this from the fact you he never demanded sex from you; this shows he respects you. However, your bf, like all other normal men, needs to get his rocks off. Masturbation, though is a way to do so, is nowhere as pleasurable as having sex.



This question is best left to you to answer.



Only God knows (if there really is one).



It’s convenient and hassle-free. I remember reading somewhere men pay prostitutes not to come, but for them to leave. Men have needs and fantasies and prostitutes can satisfy them. In short, I have a need and she provides the service – no love and emotions involved. I think you are also interested in knowing why men have this tendency to want to have sex with multiple women. In evolution theory, the way a male ensures his genes do not die out is to plant his seeds in as many women as possible.


Yes, I would. If I love a girl, the last thing I want to do is to hurt her. But then again, this is easier said than done, and I do not have a serious girlfriend/fiancée/wife at the moment. Perhaps those who are in such a situation are in a better position to answer your question.


It’s not exactly your problem, but more like a conflict between your values and beliefs and his needs. Your religion forbids you to engage in premarital sex yet your bf needs to satisfy his urges.


Very good and polite answers to a "lost" girl.

The top emotional needs for a man, or for most men, tend to be sex and recreation (hobbies, sports, games, etc). Sex itself can be a recreation. Just as women need attention and affection to feel happy in life, men also have these emotional needs to fulfill in their lives. In humans, the lack of emotional fulfillment causes depression and can affect mental health.

In Australia, there is a small but recognized and specially qualified group of sex workers (most people just call prostitutes) who cater to men with disabilities (most people just call them handicapped). The reason for such sex workers to exists is simply because sex is acknowledged as an emotional need to men, even though they have only 1 leg, a crooked spine, Downs Syndrome, etc.

Strong cultural values and religious beliefs have their place in society to help keep human behaviour in check, but really, we should know ourselves better.

[Beabear]

U have 2 account or what?

[jasdude]

Hi all,

i recently discovered my fiance of 2 years is constantly on Sammyboyforum.
Constantly means whenever he's not working or with me.
That translate to anytime after 6pm (if he has no OT), till 2am (or when he's sleepy) plus Sat & Sun. He is an extremely HARDCORE Samster.



Please define "HARDCORE"? Unless you did your homework and have proof of his deeds. A person who surfs a sex forum does not necessary means he or she is using it as a platform to find paid sex or consensual sex.


Hi all,

I am a very good girl and we've never had sex and he understands it.
(Of course, we did kiss n all. Everything but sex.)

My fiancé takes care of me, respect me, very very sweet.
I would have NEVER NEVER EVER believe that he has been ACTIVELY looking for casual sex, paid sex, special massages etc...
If it's not because someone told me about it, i might never have discovered it.

Though, my upbringing and religion discourages masturbation or pornography, i do not mind if he does so since he does not have the same beliefs as me. However, i can NEVER ACCEPT my future hubby to visit prostitutes.



So someone squeal on (pau toh) your fiancé? Thou religion discourages premarital sex. Talking about it is not. Everyone has needs, may it be a guy or a gal. How much one needs depends on the individual as well as how he or she does or the avenue they take to fulfill their needs.

The ball is in you court, why post here since it seems to you that what he is done is unforgivable. YOUR MOTIVES?

Two choices now. Have a heart to heart talk with him. Then DECIDE to...

Leave him and move on. OR Forgive and forget what he has done if he is repentant and you are able to forgive and forget.

[PPBoy]

Hi Sis taoxue36, my quick character analysis of you.

You pay in order to get out of moderation and a look at ur 1st post shows you are impatient.

whenever he's not working or with me. anytime after 6pm (if he has no OT), till 2am (or when he's sleepy) plus Sat & Sun.
Possessive n dominating as you know his time table inside out.

I am a very good girl. (we did kiss n all. Everything but sex.)You are 'faking good' for a good girl did not do anything. It shows that you may be hiding something as all the stopping are deliberate acts of your suppression using upbringing and religions as excuses.

So can I say you are a virgin at the age of 36? Or you are afraid to let him know you are not? That is just a piece of hymen for your knowledge. Happiness depend on common understand between 2 that keep a relationship going strong. :D

[PPBoy]

I would have NEVER NEVER EVER
If it's not because someone told me about it, i might never have discovered it.
The truth is you followed eve's footstep, abandoning the believes that you once held firmly onto into succumbing to the serpent's tales.

My instinct felt that the serpent even help you draft this post out. Because someone who is new to a forum WILL NOT KNOW how to use BB Codes. Look at the way your replies in post 2 n 3. You do not even bother to use the cap key. Technical terms such as samsters hardly able to come out from someone who claimed to be 'good'.

If he promised to change, should i believe him?
So now you know the truth, did you really want to know again if you are given a second chance to choose? Even if the chance existed, your trust has been lost and will never be the same again.

[PPBoy]

Your naive thinking of starting a thread to portray as a 'victim' of what has happened might help you to pull in some supporters.

Sadly it just backfired. All these 'smart alex' moves has shown that my confirmation of TS as another 'silly' woman instead of a clever one.

However, i can NEVER ACCEPT my future hubby to visit prostitutes.Yes you can dun accepted but are you doing anything except complaining? :D

Are you able to satisfy your man's hunger and be that 'slut' to keep him away from other woman except you? All the questions that you have are in fact depended on how much your efforts or how you tactically handed the situation.

Try standing on other side and viewed that all the exchanges in the forum are preparation work by him in order to sextify you. Are you so sure that you will not packet outside food? :rolleyes:

[PPBoy]

After hearing how fulfilling your female friends sexual life enjoying every time while yours is only a 2 min sneak preview.

The one thing you have to know is that: "How one's impression in the cyber world is what one's want to show others". Thus it is not a good measurement of his true character.

He might be acting it all out to show others he is a sex guru for that is his fantasy.

Please do not suggest that we have sex before marriage.
I'm so glad that we didn't, at least now i can leave him and build another relationship with a good man.

Selfishness, heartlessness and stubbornness. Since you have already decided your answer why bother to find out what others feel? I think by the time you can find another one, maybe you might become overage to bear him any children. In the end, he still have to seek help outside to carry the family surname.

All your so called 'noble way' will end up as a wild goose chase. GOOD LUCK!

[siambee]

TS.... why got 2 same thread ...... :confused:
http://sammyboysexforum.com/showthread.php?t=333928

[nuclearkid]

What an irony... You seek advice from the same group of people that your fiance hang out with online. The same people you stigmatize just by their association with this forum. You are quite the hypocrite, aren't you? You implied that people here seek out "casual sex, paid sex, special massages etc..." as if that is something deplorable. You are deluded or hopelessly ignorant, choose one. This happens in the real world, not just here. The inhabitants of this forum are normal people, willing parties when sparks fly. We have fun! Perhaps it is you that need to remove your rose tinted lenses and see the world as it really is. From the feedbacks before me, you would have received some rather edifying and polite answers.

If I come across as harsh, that's because I once had a multi-year relationship with a girl just like you, insecure, idealistic and puerile. It was painful. You asked if you should leave him. If he thinks like I did, I would say go ahead and make his day (or maybe yours). You need him more than he needs you, just so you can continue to play your holier-than-thou charade. You do need an audience, don't you?

[PPBoy]

I think what I have mention in the other thread did eventually happened. Her naive thinking got backfired. Lolz!! :cool:

[kurosaki ichigo]

TS .... dun be a frog in a well. Go out and get to know the real world as it is... not some sheltered image of life that was planted into your head by the system. I feel it would be better for the 2 of you to go separate ways.... for HIS sake as his future would be ruined with a narrow minded person like you as his wife.

Best post. But then again I really suspect this thread's existence is because of the school holiday :)

[Beachsea]

T'S is looking for a guy that will never get caught surfing porn,sbf and going geylang.

Hoping for a super so called decent looking guy?
Then turn out he has much more horny ideas or porn collections than his gang of friends.

I have met so many self proclaimed or act decent freak, that turns out to be the worst kind....


Pls go to ww. Botak monks husband.com. to look for potential husband.

[Big Sexy]

grow up girl and start being a woman..
if you cannot accept what your boyfriend is doing...
you should dump him and and find yourself a new bf....;)


I am a very good girl

[spidey7]

Hey Ts u dun giv it is naturally 4him 2surf sbf n get more thrills elsewhere.

[JacqueMerlin]

Hi all,

i recently discovered my fiance of 2 years is constantly on Sammyboyforum.
Constantly means whenever he's not working or with me.
That translate to anytime after 6pm (if he has no OT), till 2am (or when he's sleepy) plus Sat & Sun. He is an extremely HARDCORE Samster.

I am a very good girl and we've never had sex and he understands it.
(Of course, we did kiss n all. Everything but sex.)

My fiance takes care of me, respect me, very very sweet.
I would have NEVER NEVER EVER believe that he has been ACTIVELY looking for casual sex, paid sex, special massages etc...
If it's not because someone told me about it, i might never have discovered it.

Though, my upbringing and religion discourages masturbation or pornography, i do not mind if he does so since he does not have the same beliefs as me. However, i can NEVER ACCEPT my future hubby to visit prostitutes.

1) Can anyone here explain to me how this can happen?

2) Should i marry this man? Or should i break off?

If he promised to change, should i believe him? I do not believe i have the power to change any man especially since he's so hardcore about sex.

3) What will my future be like with him?

4) Why do men pay for sex?

Please do not suggest that we have sex before marriage.
I'm so glad that we didn't, at least now i can leave him and build another relationship with a good man.

Though, i must say that i do not know who to trust anymore.

5) Lastly, if i were your serious girlfriend, fiancee or wife, would you quit doing this if you know exactly how hurt i am?

TS, you're also in SBF, aren't you? Lol... So, you, church gal? And you are considering breaking off because he reads sbf... Your hypocrisy knows no boundaries. I have no advise for you but I do have one for your bf. He should ditch you before he gets into more trouble.

[cuntarow]

Hi all,

i recently discovered my fiance of 2 years is constantly on Sammyboyforum.
Constantly means whenever he's not working or with me.
That translate to anytime after 6pm (if he has no OT), till 2am (or when he's sleepy) plus Sat & Sun. He is an extremely HARDCORE Samster.

I am a very good girl and we've never had sex and he understands it.
(Of course, we did kiss n all. Everything but sex.)

My fiance takes care of me, respect me, very very sweet.
I would have NEVER NEVER EVER believe that he has been ACTIVELY looking for casual sex, paid sex, special massages etc...
If it's not because someone told me about it, i might never have discovered it.

Though, my upbringing and religion discourages masturbation or pornography, i do not mind if he does so since he does not have the same beliefs as me. However, i can NEVER ACCEPT my future hubby to visit prostitutes.

1) Can anyone here explain to me how this can happen?

2) Should i marry this man? Or should i break off?

If he promised to change, should i believe him? I do not believe i have the power to change any man especially since he's so hardcore about sex.

3) What will my future be like with him?

4) Why do men pay for sex?

Please do not suggest that we have sex before marriage.
I'm so glad that we didn't, at least now i can leave him and build another relationship with a good man.

Though, i must say that i do not know who to trust anymore.

5) Lastly, if i were your serious girlfriend, fiancee or wife, would you quit doing this if you know exactly how hurt i am?

hi girl, firstly could you ask yourself what is your impression when you join this forum. you mention you do not know who to trust anymore, than why ask for our advice.

Did you caught him visiting special massage, fl, whore or even gotten a FB. even if you did, does he denies all or agree with what u claim.

This forum is not only about special massage, fl, whores and FB. there is many sections, eg matter of hearts, health discussion and even normal outing.

You cannot accept the fact that he join this forum because i believe when u logged in there are few pictures thats makes you think otherwise bout this forum, there are also section with header stating commercial sex, but for your knowledge do you knows that there are fellow members that have been here for 10 year and never post before or even less than 10 post. They might be here for another purpose instead. eg reading stories, understanding their partner thru others experience or even reading up on other health matters.

you said you did not have sex with him, than howcomes you claim that he is hardcore bout sex, he made special request? he force you?

whether you have a future with him lies in your mutual believe, understanding, and many other aspect. Not because he join sammyboyforum.

hope you sort things out with him and sort your mind out.

[Beachsea]

...i suggest 1 day three 3 times Dumex....

Enfagro A+ / Mamil Gold

Contains AHA DHA and OMEGA 3.

Good for brain development!!

[taoxue36]

1.) Most man does it. get over it. be lesbian?

2.) Up to you, very likely the next better man you meet already fuck countless of ladies before.

3.) no idea.

4.) Cause GF/Wife refuse to provide sex.

5.) I would if i'm serious about the woman that i'm going to marry.

seriously, topic on monogamy have been discussed many times in every part of the world. conclusion, humans, like every living things on earth, don't practice monogamy.

we only do it because of culture, religion and more.... whether or not you want to accept, its up to you.

May i know who is the one who told you about it? He/she might try to sabo your fiance. Since that person know, he/she might have a account too.

someone close to him told me about it. we can see the posts he made, threads he visited...

so it is not a matter of visiting sammyboy that bothers me. it is about getting paid sex.

[taoxue36]

Who was the somebody whom told you about it? Related to you? What was the motivation behind?
Would you have preferred your fiancé to do that after you have gotten married? It's better for him to have experienced it all.
As for your question,
1) I think this happens because all men have fantasies.
2) no one is in any position to tell you what to do.
3) we are not fortune tellers we can't tell if he is gonna change for the better or worse. But if these still continues I bet he will be damn bored, but you might become a wild kitten that he never expected.
4) Various reasons. Short term relieve, no gf, lonely etc
5) Well this depends, I don't even know you.

Last of all, you this very good girl is in this forum too. So does that makes you a bad person too. Pls be more matured in your thoughts and don't just jump to conclusion.

Cheers! And chill.


thanks for your contribution. i only joined last night becos i really cannot understand his motives. so why not ask the ppl here?

His sister told me about it because she feels bad that i'm totally in the dark about this. She works in the IT industry.
I wouldn't have been able to find out about it.

Even if the person wants to sabo, the person has to have proof.

[littlepok]

Dear TS, your nick put 36 so i assume u are 36yrs old virgin (maybe is just lousy guess). trust me, your virginity is not as precious as u assume it is. not belittling your religion, u are free to believe and do what u learnt but when u start to impose it on others, that is very wrong.

let's not talk about religious issues here, kinda sensitive.

if u knew him surfing the site is reason enough for u to CONSIDER leaving him, then it shows how strong your relationship already. now surf SBF u want to break. in future he don't follow your religion u want to break. next time go geylang eat frog leg porridge with friends u want to break. next time he walk on orchard road with u and 1 stunning gal walk past he look, u want to break.

very breakable relationship isn't it? does he matter anything to u in the first place?

so what if he surf this forum? i joined this forum 7-8 yrs and for past 2-3yrs i did not find an FL but still active inside here. why? because samsters are bunch of interesting people. at first thought u might be thinking this place is infested with boarish, horny, coarse and rapist material bastards. u are very far away from the truth. samsters here in general are well-read, helpful and have seas of experience to share (not only about sex. about life etc.) funny lots of guys too.

a forum has many participants which make it more interesting. Agree that the topics are sexual by nature. Depends how u look at it. Face it or trying to act as though Sex does not exist in the world. Is it such a taboo topic that it cannot be brought up? we all have thoughts and experience which we find it hard to share with people we knew, maybe we will be labelled a pervert.

For example, some guys are fetish about legs. u think they can tell their gf their fetish without a weird glance or tight slap? they can talk about it here but do u see guys grabbing women's legs to masturbate their dick on orchard road? it's just an avenue to talk about it. u have your loads of fantasy as well, be it slight SM, bondage, gangbang etc which only yourself know but will never ever admit because it is taboo to u.

we learn to let go of taboos here and share our thoughts, knowing we are not alone. that is the importance of SBF to me.

so what if your guy roam the forum? Maybe if u knew his nick then he is posting alot of FR of masseurs and different OKT stables, then probably u cannot accept that and break up. that is your choice, live with it and stand by it. if he is just reading and commenting (like me, simply love the stories here and answer questions posted by people like u, acting like auntie agony) then what's the big harm?

what's past is past, what matters is the future. your hand can only hold 1 thing at a time. if u cannot let go of the past, u have to let him go. Or u can let go of the past and hold his hand instead, your choice.

ya the sabo king who tell u he surf SBF, obviously he/she got an account too (maybe power 10 and above. super lao jiao). since u know his nick, go browse through both of their posts and draw a conclusion yourself.

[taoxue36]

You have one of my very rare posts.

Firstly, isnt the above reason good enough to be with him?
There are so many other guys out there who do not visit this forum, but flirt and have affairs.

Secondly, what is your main reason for anger?
He is just visiting a forum, a sex forum no doubt, but is this a valid reason to break off with him?

Thirdly, does visiting a adult forum equate to engaging a prositute?
/ˈfôrəm/

Noun

1.A meeting or medium where ideas and views on a particular issue can be exchanged.
2.An Internet message board.

If your main concern, which i roughly "understand" from your post, is you cannot accept someone who is looking for casual, paid sex, how can you be sure that your next beau-to-be, have not engaged a prositute before?


Hi Ah Seng, visiting this forum or even porn sites doesn't really bothers me.
What bothers me is that he shared about his experiences about special massages in JB. However, i must add that this post was slightly before we "officially" got together. We were only dating back then.

I'm really not angry. Just frustrated, hurt, sad, i really cannot understand.

[onlyhuman]

Actually guys...sometimes we must only discuss Sbf with guys only...
Nv let ur spouses or gf knows...if not next time u guys got into a quarrel... She will bring this site up...girls are like historians

[sammyboyfor]

Just thought I'd add a word in as the owner of this forum.

I too am a huge fan of this forum. After all it belongs to me. :D Call me biased. ;)

So you can classify me as hardcore as they come.... I'm the original.

However, despite spending many hours here daily, I do not indulge in commercial sex. Nothing to do with principles or morality. I just can't imagine myself having sex with a stranger. I doubt if I'll find it enjoyable.

The point is someone can spend hours here without patronising any of what's advertised. Many simply treat the site as a social gathering amongst people who want to talk about sex related issues and that includes relationship issues of the sort that you are raising now.

Don't pass judgement on everyone here just because they signed up for an account. You've done just that and paid for the account too but that doesn't make you whore. Same applies to the men. Having an account doesn't make them whoremongers.

[divedeeper]

Hi all,

i recently discovered my fiance of 2 years is constantly on Sammyboyforum.
Constantly means whenever he's not working or with me.
That translate to anytime after 6pm (if he has no OT), till 2am (or when he's sleepy) plus Sat & Sun. He is an extremely HARDCORE Samster.

I am a very good girl and we've never had sex and he understands it.
(Of course, we did kiss n all. Everything but sex.)

My fiance takes care of me, respect me, very very sweet.
I would have NEVER NEVER EVER believe that he has been ACTIVELY looking for casual sex, paid sex, special massages etc...
If it's not because someone told me about it, i might never have discovered it.

Though, my upbringing and religion discourages masturbation or pornography, i do not mind if he does so since he does not have the same beliefs as me. However, i can NEVER ACCEPT my future hubby to visit prostitutes.

1) Can anyone here explain to me how this can happen?

2) Should i marry this man? Or should i break off?

If he promised to change, should i believe him? I do not believe i have the power to change any man especially since he's so hardcore about sex.

3) What will my future be like with him?

4) Why do men pay for sex?

Please do not suggest that we have sex before marriage.
I'm so glad that we didn't, at least now i can leave him and build another relationship with a good man.

Though, i must say that i do not know who to trust anymore.

5) Lastly, if i were your serious girlfriend, fiancee or wife, would you quit doing this if you know exactly how hurt i am?For you to have just found this out now after two years, you and your fiance do not have good communication. If you intend to be married, this is a very bad way to start. I guarantee your marriage will not last unless you can communicate about this problem and fix it in a way that works for both of you.

You say you don't wanna have sex and he "understands it". If you believe he "understands it", you are making a mistake. You obviously gave him no choice but to say he accepts it, even though he wants to have sex with you.

You say you do everything but sex. Not sure exactly what you mean, but if you're literally doing everything but sex (e.g., french kissing, touching, his dick hard/wet, your pussy wet), that is foreplay. As you should know "foreplay" is what comes before sex. If you're doing foreplay, but cutting him off when he probably wants to have sex, you are making him horny but not satisfying his needs, and basically asking him to have his needs satisfied elsewhere. You are just as much the cause of this problem as he is.

You should only marry him if you can learn to communicate openly with him, if you can accept the truth (which is that he most likely has been satisfying his needs with someone other than you) and if you will be able to satisfy his needs in the future. You need to talk with him about how to satisfy his needs now before getting married as well as after. Do you talk about sex with him? If you say you cannot even masturbate because of your beliefs, that makes me wonder if you have ever talked openly with him sex. If you don't have open communication about what he needs to be satisfied (about the types of sex he likes such as bbbj, fj, 69, ar, aj, cim, ...), you may not be able to satisfy his needs and he will go elsewhere.

If you think you can "change" him, you are wrong. You already tried to "change" him by forcing your decision upon him. Look how that worked out.

Men pay for sex for two reasons, first, because they aren't getting what they want from their GF/wife and second because what they want is available elsewhere.

[Gunblader]

TS

Then get yourself a man in the same religion as yours. and u will find yourself being together with a blockhead and as naive as holy as you. u will hold hands and kiss lips for yrs to come.

both of you will live happily and naively ever after. Take will save you from future agony and problems.

[WearKabuto]

i guess you should try talking to him about it? We got no idea who is he either thus i can't talk to him :confused:

[fictionman]

i really dont understand how the problem lies with me?
can u explain?

Bcoz u r not giving yr pussy to him!!!!....So simple

[drifand]

Not surprised the person who wants to let you know has other intentions. No doubt you may choose to leave this guy, doesn't make your next person any better.

I seriously believe the person who is doing this has his own intentions probably your bf didn't treat him well and he start to stir the pot. In anyway, you should confront him yourself, you are not young so stop being so picky. You not giving him sex, what did you think was going to happen? Convert him into a monk or preist?

[king91]

best advice - leave him. you deserve someone better.

[wells]

You are too strict on yourself and many rules applied on both of you. I’m not sure how many men can withstand this kind of environment but not me for sure. Even if I still want the relationship, chances of getting sex outside secretly and surfing porn Is highly likely to happen. Not many guys can really stay without sex until marriage.

Have a talk with him and you may not know there is problem on yourself too. Life is too short, dun waste time and enjoy what you are missing! :D

[iFuck]

Hi TS,

My advice to u, leave him and set him free. No need to discuss with him why he is active here. Imo he don't owe you any explanation.

Don't expect him to change for u and u don't have to change for him.
Get one of the same type as you. Good luck. From what u posted he is definitely not your type.

Please don't stigmatize members here. Have been a silent reader for more than a year. This forum haha, lot of "hidden tigers and crouching Dragons". Many are very experience in life and have lot to share. Have to add some are active during school holiday. I've learn a lot from this forum. Some forums I just read and have a good laugh.

Ps. I'm no saint. I do what I think is right.:p

[frolicsome]

someone close to him told me about it. we can see the posts he made, threads he visited...

so it is not a matter of visiting sammyboy that bothers me. it is about getting paid sex.

In that case, you must not marry him. Because after marriage, he is likely to continue to engage in commercial sex. You should wait until after your journey on earth is finished and then propose to marry a saint.

[nightscreamer]

Hi,

You know how it feels when your own husband can only kiss & do nothing with you? Are you really 36? Since now you know he's in a sex forum looking for paid sex and it hurts u badly, then why are you here in a sex forum?? Here to revenge on him by looking for other guys?? You rather he go find paid sex since you not satisfying him in bed or you want him to find a lover & dump u in future?

C'mon!!!! 女人open one eye close one eye is easier to get time pass faster than holding on to it making yourself suffer.

As you mentioned that your husband's good friend reveal all this details to you. Ask yourself, is this friend trustworthy or is he/she trying to stir shit to make both of you suffer and he/she stand to gain something?

You in love with or husband or is it just a habit seeing him daily? Follow what your heart says to you and not seek advices. 清官难断家务事. You can seek advices but ultimately we cant help you make decision.

Your future lies in your own hands.

[wow7"]

[QUOTE=taoxue36;8202116]Hi all,

i recently discovered my fiance of 2 years is constantly on Sammyboyforum.
Constantly means whenever he's not working or with me.
That translate to anytime after 6pm (if he has no OT), till 2am (or when he's sleepy) plus Sat & Sun. He is an extremely HARDCORE Samster.

I am a very good girl and we've never had sex and he understands it.
(Of course, we did kiss n all. Everything but sex.)

My fiance takes care of me, respect me, very very sweet.
I would have NEVER NEVER EVER believe that he has been ACTIVELY looking for casual sex, paid sex, special massages etc...
If it's not because someone told me about it, i might never have discovered it.

Though, my upbringing and religion discourages masturbation or pornography, i do not mind if he does so since he does not have the same beliefs as me. However, i can NEVER ACCEPT my future hubby to visit prostitutes.

1) Can anyone here explain to me how this can happen?

2) Should i marry this man? Or should i break off?

If he promised to change, should i believe him? I do not believe i have the power to change any man especially since he's so hardcore about sex.

3) What will my future be like with him?

4) Why do men pay for sex?

Please do not suggest that we have sex before marriage.
I'm so glad that we didn't, at least now i can leave him and build another relationship with a good man.

Though, i must say that i do not know who to trust anymore.

5) Lastly, if i were your serious girlfriend, fiancee or wife, would you quit doing this if you know exactly how hurt i am?[/


It's a very very sad case, indeed a very very sad one:(:(

My heart goes out to that poor man! no masturbation, no surfing, no look see,
no exotic movie, no life, no love & no freedom. :mad:
What the point of living such life ???????:confused::eek

[lamhai]

for all the time you spent with you, things he did for you, you came to a conclusive stance that you should probably leave this man because he visited a sex forum and had special massage?
Is he going out with someone else? Did he love you less by visiting this forum? Did he betrayed you?
Imagine ultimately you get married with a man that does not visits forum like this and live like a saint, then you feel you have married to right person that would loves you take care of you do anything for you?

You know it is not.

You should have a talk with him, with the direction to continue with the relationship and see how to get things work out.

Good Luck to you, young lady!

[acesparx]

to me theres a few criteria u need to ask urself first :

1) does his constant surfing here affects ur relationship ? if yes, confront him if no , ask him nicely why. which leads to..

2) if he is just surfing to chat with friends n have a laugh or FL ? if FL then u either ask him to stop n change or u maybe coz he cannot resist his urges n must look at naked women to please himself . then its YOU gotta change n understand his urges or maybe flirt or more but dunt go too far as to sex as its ur religion n beliefs .

3) find out if he is too addicted to sex , then bring him for help . this might good for u both n constantly let him knoes ur sincerity towards him n u love him much

4) communicate - communication is always good 4 a relationships. if he loves u , he understand wat u think of his behavior if he understands he change , if he cant cope , be there 4 him if he needs help.

[acesparx]

5) men pays 4 sex - firstly they feel lonly n want to be loved coz deep down they wont deny they sometimes feel empty even those they know they have ppl that love them . secondly , the thrill of it or coz have to much money and want to feel like a boss screwing women .

lastly ask urself, if u were to break with this man, coz he , unintentionally without knowing he hurt u , are u doing the same to him by breaking his heart by leaving ? Remember relationships gots its ups n downs ..if ur a religious woman , maybe god isz testing u ...

N if u leave him coz u think he is a sick ceekopek, then wat gives u the right mentality that there are men better than him ? i tell .. there are WORST . thats life .. always a gamble .

so.. before u judge a person maybe u ask urself/ judge 1st.. are u too restricted n ur beliefs ? if so wat can u change so u live a happy life ?

[Booker]

What bothers me is that he shared about his experiences about special massages in JB. However, i must add that this post was slightly before we "officially" got together. We were only dating back then.

I'm really not angry. Just frustrated, hurt, sad, i really cannot understand.

Maybe I am too old for such youth lingos... But what you mean by dating back then and 'officially' got together?? As in from steady become stead then become boyfriend / girlfriend?? :confused:

Anyway.. you are hurt and sad because he visited commercial sex and stuffs. Well, generally like what most bros here had said, both of you had engaged in some form of intimacy but then not going on further... Maybe as a lady you might not feel it so much (due to lower sex drive) but for a guy it can really be torturous.
Imagine if you employers decides to let you count your monthly salary in cash every month, after you counted the right amount, he takes it back and keeps the money into the safe. How will you feel... Frustrated? Sad? Hurt?

While you have your belief about pre-martial sex and stuffs (nothing wrong cos thats your belief) however the world and society we are living in today leaves little room for such beliefs and commitment from both genders. So while I salute you for holding firm to your beliefs, its really difficult to have someone that shares such beliefs.

Moving forward, its either you asked him about what he does and both of you worked out something together where it will be a win-win for both, if not, sadly... if he aren't getting the cash from his 'employer' then you can't really blame him for 'working' outside to get the cash.

Such is life, there isn't a perfect solution to everything.... for a couple to be really happy, both person has to make sacrifices here and there.

Hope that helps...

:D

[bionogne]

1) Can anyone here explain to me how this can happen?

"I am a very good girl and we've never had sex and he understands it.
(Of course, we did kiss n all. Everything but sex.)"
--> He understands it, do you?

Did you happen to ask him if it's ok to only have sex after marriage? Rather, did you ask his sincere opinions & the difference (physically) b/w his relationship with you & others before?

2) Should i marry this man? Or should i break off?
If he promised to change, should i believe him? I do not believe i have the power to change any man especially since he's so hardcore about sex.

"However, i can NEVER ACCEPT my future hubby to visit prostitutes."
(You said it...)

3) What will my future be like with him?

Love or Sex? There's a distinct difference which most women refuses to admit. (Oh, I can't have sex without love... Blah Blah Blah.. --> Trust me lady, most of us here have met lots of them that can do that).

4) Why do men pay for sex?

Guess you've never heard of women paying for sex...

5) Lastly, if i were your serious girlfriend, fiancee or wife, would you quit doing this if you know exactly how hurt i am?

As the saying goes, you can't get hurt for things you don't know.
Why do you need to see everything in black & white?

[Tai_zi21]

Just my point of view here to share...

As wat u have mentioned he take gd care of you,he love you alot? and yet just be cos he visit FL and stuff u wanna break off with him?

Of cos visiting FL is not the right thing to do when u have a gf or wife! but then again is the other party giving them wat they wan? 2 years down the road u expect him to pcc everyday? dun u think that u have fault in this too?

And u only assume that he is the one who is in the wrong just be cos he visit FL and go to sex forum? and u even wanted to break up with him? Guess you are looking for a virgin,dun smoke,dun drink,dun club and homely guy! But then again can u be sure that he dun flirt ard with other gals when you are not ard? or having a affair outside?

No offense but i think you are looking for the perfect guy! but then again to me in this world there no perfect guy just like there no perfect gal!

PS:i dun think u even love him,at the most only like!

[Demikidisme]

If you hold on to your Christian beliefs, then have you ever wondered why did god give you a pussy and him a dick? And according to Maslow hierarchy of needs, sex food water are the most basic needs for a human being. So I can't understand why you are blinded by religion especially christianity. I have friends like that too. You believe so much and willing to give part of your salary to your church? For what? Yes, I'm an atheist, but so what. Less suffering and confusing beliefs etc to care about.

You only live once

[xiaoquan]

Lets not be so harsh to TS.

It's simple, either your talk to him or find someone else of the same religion that is very devoted to the religion like you.

Sex is the the most basic needs of human beings, sry... Buddha, Jesus or whatever also can't change. Kissing and touching but can't fuck is the most painful thing to guys.

Lets say you like LV bags, every week your bf bring you to LV store to smell and touch. You can take it meh? Lol

While you're here, why not take a look at some of our females samster threads?

http://sammyboyforum.com/showthread.php?t=330777
Here is a most recent story of the sex life of a un-married female in Singapore.

After reading, tell us what you feel. Gf luck.

[HokkienPeng]

Attention seeker I'd say.

Even after so many post she still act holier than thou attitude. What's next? Rock and heavy metal are the devils music and frowned upon? You must give part of your salary to the church where you are struggling to make ends meet? You must this, you must that? Gosh.

Go marry a church priest for fucks sake then. As you said, he paid for sex before you were officially together. So what the fucks wrong with that? Can't accept it? Then dump him you stupid fuck.

Oh by the way, fuck is in the dictionary and don't preach to me I can't use it cos I'm a back slider and proud of it. Best decision ever made by me. ;)

[bluewater]

talk to him, but don accuse him of playing sex. Not everyone some sbf look for pay sex.
Just talk it out. Try to understand from his view point too.

All the best :)

[DegenerationX]

TS, there is a saying:

家里不开饭，不能怪他去外面用餐

[pattan19]

I understand how TS feel even though I am not a gal. Just sharing what my thoughts after reading your post a few times and hope some of my advice will help but not affected your life decision.

1. You happen to know that he has been in this forum for the past 2 years though a source. Recall how much time you both as a couple spend time together during those days. It’s always a case of ‘Our’ fault and not yours or his whenever something happens in a relationship. He respects and takes care of you, never had sex except kiss and petting as he understands, so I guess you also cherish these points of his as a good girl. Loving one another is about giving and receiving and keeping an open channel of communication. It would be good to talk with him about this ‘hobby’ of his as it is still not at an addiction level. Being addicted to the forum means sacrificing more than his usual time here. What he had done, which you never ever believe, was a result of a ‘hidden’ fault between you both unknowingly. Males and females have different needs and talking about their needs can avoid misunderstanding after all what’s there to hide when you both advanced into the next stage from a friendship.

2. To move on is to let go and forget the past. Easier said than done. Everyone has a history. If you can accept his history and he can assure you that it will never happen again, one should be given a chance, just like a gal who had their past gets a chance. Moving on is based on the level of trust you both give each other. Remember that it is always a give and take in all relationship.

3. Future in a couple is how they manage their everyday life together. Everyone needs their own breathing space so some freedom comes along with trust. Trust your other with their freedom to do good and always talk with each other about almost everything.

4. Paid sex is better than free sex as what I learn from this forum. It pinches me to part with my hard earn money for something not visible so that thought always kept me away. It’s all about mind over matters. Some guys go for this choice to satisfy their needs which is not wrong at all, unless they commit rape or risk having the ‘new generation virus’.

5. Lastly, a subjective one. If you were my serious one, I would. However, no man or woman is perfect so getting to know another takes time. He, who stays with you through all the different tests, pain and sufferings in a relationship will be the right one for you. Life is never smooth, it is all about the test.

[atom_nova]

Sis haf a good tok wif him. Dun waste it, r/s r hard to come by.

[taoxue36]

Hi all,

Thank you all for sharing.

Just to clear some misunderstandings about me.

I’m ok with occasional porn surfing or discussions (not all the time after work; that seems like an addiction). Discussion about sex is a good way to learn, especially when you are anonymous online.
Though I feel otherwise about discussing which brothels to visit etc..

I believe in having sex after marriage not because I’m so holy, or naïve etc…
The decisions I stick to and the values I held onto have practical reasons beyond religious beliefs.
- It is to protect myself from guys who just want sex or using me for own needs only.
- It is women who have to deal with the aftermath of sex; the risk of getting pregnant and the difficult decision of whether to keep the baby. Either way, if it happens to me, I will have regrets about it. Even if the guy wants to marry becos of the baby, you won’t know if he feels “forced” into marrying. Forced because of pressure from family or friends. He might want to in the future but now is not the right time.
- Guys kiss n tell, no sex = nothing to tell. I am protecting my loved ones from getting hurt and being embarrassed in the future.
- Many men compartmentalize their relationships; girlfriend category, wife category, casual sex only etc.. I just don’t want to be taken for a ride that’s all.

I’m 29 this year.
My Secondary School best friend has been with her JC bf till age 27.
She wanted to settle down, but the bf refused and they broke up.
Long story short, as a 3rd party, I see this guy as someone who keeps her in a relationship so that he can get his sexual needs satisfied. I can only say what I observe. If my friend is not giving sex, the guy will have to decide if he wants to stay with her or find another gf more suitable.
She wouldn’t have wasted her time n effort and end up getting hurt in the end.

My sister’s friend got pregnant at age 21, right after polytechnic. During her pregnancy, she has to avoid friend’s gatherings to prevent other friends from knowing what the guy did.
NOTE: the intention is to protect the guy’s NS friends from knowing about this and gossiping about him in camp.
This kid will grow up without a legitimate father and the young girl has to do all those things to protect the guy.

When I met my Senior from Secondary school, she told me she got married a few years ago (translate to about age 21/22). Without thinking much, I said wow why u get married so early? She replied, “shot-gun lah”. But I can see a mixture of “embarrassment, sadness, helplessness etc..” in her eyes.

Lastly, I’ve a female friend who did a blowjob with a guy outside office, however, words spread to her office and her colleagues teased her unceasingly about it.

If the above happens to your daughter, do you still feel that your daughter should just enjoy the moment and satisfy her man?
These are some of the examples why I must not fool around. I am sure if the person I explore sex with is my hubby, he won’t go around telling his friends our bedroom activities or talk about it in a disrespectful manner.

Guys, tell me honestly. If I were to be “open about sex” (with my ex-bfs) the way some of you have mentioned, how will you see me or treat me as YOUR girlfriend?
If I am very experienced, and now that you are my current bf, we had GREAT sex.
Wouldn’t you wonder how many guys I’ve slept with? Can you trust me?
Maybe I’ve had one-night-stands numerous times before you? Who knows it might be your NS buddy, your colleague, neighbor, cousin, your buddies? What if so “suay”, some guy we know happened to have sex with me before?

I am very clear not to be open about casual sex (or sex outside marriage).
However, I do want to be open in exploring sex with my hubby. I am not “close-minded” missionary-style Christian. I really want to have an exciting and fulfilling sex life (with my hubby only).
I really believe there is nothing dirty between a married couple.

I view sex as something to keep a couple’s love and affection going.
Not too frequent, you will get sick and bored of it. Not too little, you might drift apart unknowingly.

Some of you have pointed out that we’ve not have an open discussion about sex. I must admit, that’s quite true. He doesn’t bring it up and I don’t know how to bring it up though I really want to know what he thinks. I don’t know how to ask him so that he won’t feel that he is being judged by me.

He’s not attached at that time when he had special massage. I think he’s really lonely back then.
I think what’s past is past; I really shouldn’t dig out his past and condemn him for it, though I’m very worried about our future together.

- How can we have AN HONEST discussion about sex? I’m really open to discussion though there are some things that I will not do.
- Since some of you have mentioned men needs sex to feel love and wanted, I really want him to feel loved and cared for.
- How can we talk about it, without me sounding like a slut?
- Can we really share fantasies?

[swguy40s]

Bro Patten 19, Well written :)

[takeout]

Hi taoxue36,

Here's my life story.
I think it might be of interest to you cuz i'm that type of guy you are looking for.

I dun drink & I dun smoke.
I've never visited any Health Centre/Sleazy Massage parlour/KTVs nor prostitutes @ geylang.
But here lies the difference, my girlfriend & I have sex on an average of 3-4 times a week.
If you were my girlfriend and i realized that you wouldn't have sex before marriage, i would have A) broken off with you and find a new girlfriend, or B) respect your decision and then go visit Health Centre/Sleazy Massage parlour/KTVs/prostitutes @ geylang for my 'fix' on a regular basis.
Hope this answers your question number 1.

After 7 years together, we got married.
Sex was even more frequent now. We are at it every possible moment, like rabbits on steroids.
Then baby 1 came along. Predictably, sex was the last thing on wifey's mind during the first few months after she gave birth. Things then went back to normal, although obviously not that high frequency as before.
Then baby 2 arrived. After the birth, as usual, i gave wifey a few months to recuperate, to get back into the mood again.
It never came.
3 months, i waited. 6 months came, nothing.
After 1 year, i ask her: what is wrong? you dun like sex anymore?
Her reply: wah lau, do so many years already, you not sian meh?
(fyi, i've tried everything possible during this year to put the spark back into our marriage/sex life. Couple's time without the kids, short holidays, sex toys)(She is a full time housewife)
Nothing works.

So, at a ripe age of 36, I visited my first Health Centre.
I got my first paid sex.
Now, my adventures continues on a regular basis.
She's happy cuz i'm not bugging her anymore.
I'm happy cuz i'm not frustrated anymore.

My philosophy is: Everyone has their right to live however they want.

You have the right to 'not have sex' before marriage.
He's not married to you yet, so he could do whatever he wants.
When you're married, he 'should' stay faithful.
But as you have read from my story above, I could only stay faithful for 1 year as i have no intention of becoming a 36 years old monk.

[WOOHOO]

TS, there is a saying:

家里不开饭,不能怪他去外面用餐

wah sibei chim LOL :p hihi kekekeke :)

[goodu]

cos u cannot satisfy him? :D

[taoxue36]

Hi taoxue36,

Here's my life story.
I think it might be of interest to you cuz i'm that type of guy you are looking for.

I dun drink & I dun smoke.
I've never visited any Health Centre/Sleazy Massage parlour/KTVs nor prostitutes @ geylang.
But here lies the difference, my girlfriend & I have sex on an average of 3-4 times a week.
If you were my girlfriend and i realized that you wouldn't have sex before marriage, i would have A) broken off with you and find a new girlfriend, or B) respect your decision and then go visit Health Centre/Sleazy Massage parlour/KTVs/prostitutes @ geylang for my 'fix' on a regular basis.
Hope this answers your question number 1.

After 7 years together, we got married.
Sex was even more frequent now. We are at it every possible moment, like rabbits on steroids.
Then baby 1 came along. Predictably, sex was the last thing on wifey's mind during the first few months after she gave birth. Things then went back to normal, although obviously not that high frequency as before.
Then baby 2 arrived. After the birth, as usual, i gave wifey a few months to recuperate, to get back into the mood again.
It never came.
3 months, i waited. 6 months came, nothing.
After 1 year, i ask her: what is wrong? you dun like sex anymore?
Her reply: wah lau, do so many years already, you not sian meh?
(fyi, i've tried everything possible during this year to put the spark back into our marriage/sex life. Couple's time without the kids, short holidays, sex toys)(She is a full time housewife)
Nothing works.

So, at a ripe age of 36, I visited my first Health Centre.
I got my first paid sex.
Now, my adventures continues on a regular basis.
She's happy cuz i'm not bugging her anymore.
I'm happy cuz i'm not frustrated anymore.

My philosophy is: Everyone has their right to live however they want.

You have the right to 'not have sex' before marriage.
He's not married to you yet, so he could do whatever he wants.
When you're married, he 'should' stay faithful.
But as you have read from my story above, I could only stay faithful for 1 year as i have no intention of becoming a 36 years old monk.


Hi Takeout,

thank you for your sharing.

Just curious, why pay for sex? You are young enough to hook someone up for free? And, you can participate in the thrill of pursuing someone.

What if someone finds out, would that hurt your professional reputation or career?

How does not having sex with your wife makes you feel?
Do you feel unloved, unwanted?

What made you want to marry this gf?
Do you not mind that she might have sex with some guys before you came along?



I hope i do not scare you with my questions or disrespectful. I'm really curious.
You can say i'm really a frog in the well when it comes to this.

Due a my worrisome but caring mother, I do have a very sheltered childhood.

[nine9nine]

TS,

A good man is a DEAD man.

Also, I do not believe religion forbid sex before marriage. There were no such thing as marriage when religion started. I believe its more of your values (good family upbringing) that you restrained yourself which you were taught when young.

Your values are good so is your boyfriend, he did not force you into it. In fact, if you were my girlfriend, I will tell myself in my heart that there is a special one waiting for me. However, while waiting I can do other things. ( When queueing for mrt, bus, I bet you are also doing other things ie play with phone etc)

Lastly, you cant blanket cover those whom surf SB or addicted to sex are bad. Sex is a need. Just nice I also smoke and 20 years ago my parents would have sterotyped those who smoke are gangsters.

[JuzNiceM]

TS,

you already made sex sounded like a no-no topic even before you talk to him about it.

oh well ....... I guess you're just one of those who's not into it. so don't bother finding out more here, you won't find any satisfactory answer anyway, you have the answer in your heart now actually.

[hotbodz77]

Hi TaoXue36,

U should be glad that he's having paid sex. If he goes along to pursue someone else just to have sex and later fall in love with her, wouldn't it be worse? Paying for sex means it's just a monetary transaction. Pay, fuck and go. Gals think very differently from guys. Guys do not see sex and love as a package like what gals think. His feelings never ever betrayed u. He just needs to satisfy his desires. If u could satisfy his desires, would he have needed to go for Special Massage? Maybe u could give him blowjob with CIM so he wun end up blue balls by only touching and petting. I've seen girls who makes sure she satisfy her guy so much that he wouldn't have the energy (or sperm) to go find others outside. :)

Sex exists in many forms, not all forms end up with pregnancy. Be open and ask him about his desires and needs. Since he's serious about u and respect u, u should try to satisfy him so he doesn't need to "release" outside. Nobody can sell food to someone who's never hungry...

[LovePotion]

sis talk to him first... dont straight away jump to a conclusion... :)

[Tai_zi21]

Hi Takeout,

thank you for your sharing.

Just curious, why pay for sex? You are young enough to hook someone up for free? And, you can participate in the thrill of pursuing someone.

What if someone finds out, would that hurt your professional reputation or career?



Though i am not bro Takeout But i guess for most guys i could still answer this ques for u!

Prob bro takeout is still young and handsome that could woo some gals and get them to bed for free! but let not forget 1 very impt impt!

He is a married man with 2 kids! wat hurt ur reputation more? Going out to find FL and have paid sex? or going out to woo a gal to get her have sex with u when u cannot promise anything to her at all?

Paid sex=fuck and forget! to many guys it a very simple transction tat all... i pay u sell...

U mean u would rather ur future husband to go and woo some young gals next time instead of paid sex?

To me it a give and take situation... But no offense to you TS i dun think you are giving in at all

[Sirrus]

when a person doesnt want to see,hear,learn and think.
no matter how you try to help that person, he/she will not see,hear,learn and think.

you are that kind of person. you lack wisdom and empathy. no matter who help you, u cannot get it.

you have to learn for yourself.

in chinese it means your 领悟能力很低.

There a saying in chinese too 不见棺材,不流泪. you are exactly that type of person.
You wont learn, understand or comprehend until you are no longer you.
just as a saying A normal law abiding and mental healthy person will not understand a psycho serial killer who kills for fun or w/e reason.

but since ur so stupid even at the age of 29, you are beyond hope.
You Breath but you do not live
You Look but u do not see
You Touch but u do not Feel
You think but u do not understand
You Fart but u do not know

[Sirrus]

before you buy a car, you must test drive.

you are an undesired product. the superme product of a woman that men shun.

there are men out there who will reject girls like you even if u strip. Because the very essence of you is not Wife/Gf/Biological procreation needs material.

just because ur a girl doesnt means all the men in the world is out to get you and cheat you. However if ur so afraid to even try to love some1 other than yourself pls do us the favor and go live in the wildness if u cannot live in a society.

you are off putting.

[Sirrus]

This is your future.
This is you.

look at this link
http://www.chinasmack.com/2012/stories/38-year-old-chinese-virgin-seeks-husband-no-sex-after-marriage.html

[Sirrus]

btw before you think of dumping him. remember that he has already dumped you because he knows your not wife material.

[Sirrus]

...i suggest 1 day three 3 times Dumex....

Enfagro A+ / Mamil Gold

Contains AHA DHA and OMEGA 3.

Good for brain development!!

bro i salute you, ur a very kind man help stupid girl find cure to her stupid syndrome

but that isnt a cure man. its just supplement. if brain no absorb then her ass will absorb...

[taoxue36]

bro i salute you, ur a very kind man help stupid girl find cure to her stupid syndrome

but that isnt a cure man. its just supplement. if brain no absorb then her ass will absorb...



Hi Sirrus,

i think you should reread my posts. I've posted some additional info to clear some misunderstandings. I think i did not make certain points clear enough.

You seemed rather offended by my posts, i dunno why.
But there is no need for personal attacks i think.

I am here to understand more.

I am not planning to become Virgin Mary.
I wish to have a happy married life with my hubby, whats wrong with that?

Not everyone wants to cheat but people who are thiefs don't tell you they wanna steal from you do they?

[taoxue36]

before you buy a car, you must test drive.

you are an undesired product. the superme product of a woman that men shun.

there are men out there who will reject girls like you even if u strip. Because the very essence of you is not Wife/Gf/Biological procreation needs material.

just because ur a girl doesnt means all the men in the world is out to get you and cheat you. However if ur so afraid to even try to love some1 other than yourself pls do us the favor and go live in the wildness if u cannot live in a society.

you are off putting.


I am not a product for people to test drive.
That is precisely the point why i do what i do.

Of course, i am not every men's meat.

[taoxue36]

when a person doesnt want to see,hear,learn and think.
no matter how you try to help that person, he/she will not see,hear,learn and think.

you are that kind of person. you lack wisdom and empathy. no matter who help you, u cannot get it.

you have to learn for yourself.

in chinese it means your 领悟能力很低.

There a saying in chinese too 不见棺材,不流泪. you are exactly that type of person.
You wont learn, understand or comprehend until you are no longer you.
just as a saying A normal law abiding and mental healthy person will not understand a psycho serial killer who kills for fun or w/e reason.

but since ur so stupid even at the age of 29, you are beyond hope.
You Breath but you do not live
You Look but u do not see
You Touch but u do not Feel
You think but u do not understand
You Fart but u do not know



Just because i don't sleep around, that makes me hopeless and stupid?

What kind of woman do you consider smart?
Someone who is able to satisfy you?

[LinLaoBei]

after reading so many bro's reply... TS, I hope this will brighten you what is the best decision.....

[PortugueseMan]

Hi taoxue36...

Recently I also had some issues where I was paying for sex because my wife had not reciprocated my feelings and desire as well... the issue being because she didn't want to talk about the problem and this drove me into the arms of a massage lady... it happened because she seems to always brush away my advances towards her or even attempts to make love to her... relationships is not about sex but sex can help build a relationship...

Only recently she has opened up because it came to a point that I wanted a divorce because I couldn't take it any more... I told her that the truth and what I did... this finally caused her to open up and talk about the real issues that was troubling her and causing her to keep pushing me away...

All I can say is, if you love your man and if he loves you... then talk about it... don't talk with people here on the forums... talk to him straight... I have had unprotected sex with my wife for 8 years before marriage without her getting pregnant... there are indeed many ways to do it without you getting pregnant... you have to explore...

As I said... sexual activities between you two should be open and filled with love and trust... not disgust, worry and boredom...

Talk to him... and you'll be surprised where it can take both of you...

Cheers!!! ;)

[kue19xx]

Many bros and sis here already answered some of your questions and remaining questions you must find the answer yourself as no one can decide for you.

For me, my story is almost similar to bro takeout. So why paid sex? it is a need.

It just the sexual needs that I did not get at home that made me eat out. But I still love my family. I work so hard, is for them now, to provide whatever they need. One mre reason why I eat out...to keep peace at home.

Wondering what if one day my wife found out my nick and scan thru all my posting? Hell will break loose!!

Opinions here are for reference only. Should you move on? you decide.

[PortugueseMan]

And one more thing... don't hide behind religion about the sex thing... Religion is not a good reason for having or not having sex... that's bull and you know it in your heart... I grew up in a very religious family and I learnt that if you want to live your life religiously... then don't marry or have a relationship with people... you end up hurting them or frustrating them... go be a nun or priest... and if your are so religious, then you will know that religion teaches you to forgive people for all their flaws... if you wanna preach about religion and abstaining from sex... then you better practice all of what you preach and not just up to your whims and fancies...

Cheers!!!

[Ecuader]

Seriously in today's world hard to find a guy who can wait till marriage then start to have sex with his wife.

We would have to do "due dilligence" don't we?
What if the wife do not like sex at all? then the husband LPPL.

remember in sg there is the women charters who only protects the female?

I believe if a couple wants to be together, being compatible is not enough.
they have to be sexually compatible as well.

and my advice to threadstarter, u might have to change your mindset or u can wait for a "bah ka" to appear.

being 29 yrs old, your choices will decrease at an exponetial rate after 30yrs old. Do treasure the time now while u still have choices.
When u reach 35 = GG.
岁月不饶人

[taoxue36]

after reading so many bro's reply... TS, I hope this will brighten you what is the best decision.....

Thank you. :)

[iFuck]

IF I'm your fiance I'll dump you. TBH I won't dare to take ur virginity.
Can't imagine what will happen after that. Marriage is out of the question.

Please don't take it as a personal attack. I respect your decision.
I'm not good enough. I'll get someone compatible so that my marriage can last and my children don't suffer.;)

PS: my wife is not the best girl that I've met. I marry the most compatible one.

[taoxue36]

Hi taoxue36...

Recently I also had some issues where I was paying for sex because my wife had not reciprocated my feelings and desire as well... the issue being because she didn't want to talk about the problem and this drove me into the arms of a massage lady... it happened because she seems to always brush away my advances towards her or even attempts to make love to her... relationships is not about sex but sex can help build a relationship...

Only recently she has opened up because it came to a point that I wanted a divorce because I couldn't take it any more... I told her that the truth and what I did... this finally caused her to open up and talk about the real issues that was troubling her and causing her to keep pushing me away...

All I can say is, if you love your man and if he loves you... then talk about it... don't talk with people here on the forums... talk to him straight... I have had unprotected sex with my wife for 8 years before marriage without her getting pregnant... there are indeed many ways to do it without you getting pregnant... you have to explore...

As I said... sexual activities between you two should be open and filled with love and trust... not disgust, worry and boredom...

Talk to him... and you'll be surprised where it can take both of you...

Cheers!!! ;)


Hi PortugueseMan,

i feel for your situation. I do not wish to end up doing that to my hubby either. The thing is we are not married and i do not wish to end up strung along without commitment and end up like my friend.

And i agree with you it is not something dirty and we can all enjoy it.

I hope things will work out fine for you.

Cheers!!

[tan-tan]

Just because i don't sleep around, that makes me hopeless and stupid?

No but dun wait until u wanna to sleep with someone and no one wanna to sleep with u hor. :D

U r human, not diamond.

[Goodpack]

Hi PortugueseMan,

i feel for your situation. I do not wish to end up doing that to my hubby either. The thing is we are not married and i do not wish to end up strung along without commitment and end up like my friend.

And i agree with you it is not something dirty and we can all enjoy it.

I hope things will work out fine for you.

Cheers!!

Good luck to you..... just dun come running back here to start another thread when you become an old maid left on the shelf.

[Bangster]

Stop being a prude.

[taoxue36]

So guys,

how do i discuss this with him properly?

[navras]

Sis, it is best that both parties trash out the expectations, do and don't for the sake of the marriage else move on if there is no deal.

[atcvin]

Taoxue, I personally visited massage centres before i knew my current gf and I did have sex before too.. to you, i may sound dirty, however I always did with preventive measures so that I wont harm my future partner.. after being with her, i stopped visiting such places..why guy visits such places, because we have needs, such needs that only men and some women will understand it...

however just ask you a question, do you ever have any intimidate body contact with other guys before you know your current bf..if one day,your bf ever know u do have and use this as a topic to quarrel, how will you feel.. it is past, let it pass..

today you are lucky that he only went to visit a massage centre before knowing you...if today you found out that he actually has a FB instead after you are already official with him , wont you feel even more disappointed...

[Birdietan]

hi there first of all how u get to know this forum ? from your friend that mean your friend also in this forum so do you still want to be friends with him or her . lastly let me tell you how we man feel if he respect you for not having sex before marriage, he is ok to find a way to realise stress but he never bring the girls back right. I have been married to my wife for more than 10 years with kids and she also have a fling with her working colleague so what does is prove ?

[kittymae]

http://sammyboyforum.com/showthread.php?t=333942

Same person with multiple accounts?
Description and phrasing the same leh...even thread title also!

If ure, didnt u get the answers already? Another account or nick is unlikely to change the type of replies gotten, like those in ur earlier thread.

Erm, btw, if ure fiancé is as hardcore and addicted as u claim, I'm surprised he hadn't picked up on ure being in here asking for advice/comments...u sure ure source is reliable? Maybe u should be asking him directly.
Just saying :D

[kittymae]

TS, duplicate account and thread?
Maybe u'll like to keep to just one..confusing ESP since both titles are the same...

http://sammyboyforum.com/showthread.php?t=333928

[Sirrus]

Just because i don't sleep around, that makes me hopeless and stupid?

What kind of woman do you consider smart?
Someone who is able to satisfy you?

no1 said u have to slp around. why cant u understand that u seems to alwasy revolve everything about illogical perception and ideology and not living life like you should be?

whats wrong with having sex with ur boyfriend/fiance? his not a stranger. u known him for a very long time. i dont think u value him. he stick around with you because he loved you. not because he wants to take ur virginity and leave you. infact i think he is very worried abt taking ur 1st time since he doesnt want to give u a bad 1st experience.

so before you take alwasy ask yourself what to have to offer that he wants.
when you give someone something, make sure it is something he wants to receive. not what you want to give. understand?

i pity ur fiance, i really do because he is about to make a very risky gamble in his life where you might detest sex after you tried it. and his going to be 1 lonely and incomplete man. overtime he will break and cheat and when he gets caught by u redhanded. it means his the bad person and divorce. his house gone, his money gone, his youth gone, family harmony gone. all because you drove him to that point. but u dont seems to understand that your the cause of it.

[Sirrus]

Hi PortugueseMan,

i feel for your situation. I do not wish to end up doing that to my hubby either. The thing is we are not married and i do not wish to end up strung along without commitment and end up like my friend.

And i agree with you it is not something dirty and we can all enjoy it.

I hope things will work out fine for you.

Cheers!!

you talk about commitment. all i see is you demanding commitment from him and u not offering anything but marriage. and in sg when a marriage fail, the female tend to be on the longer end of the stick. so tell me what can you offer him in return that he wants and desire?

can u guarantee that you will be fair to him after marriage? can u guarantee that you will have a healthy love and sexual relationship with him after marriage? this looks like a very bad investment, its like investing in roulette with only 1 chip. the odds are against him.

and the age 29 is an very late average age to get married.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_at_first_marriage

how long have u been with this guy? do u have previous guy? how many?
ur value is dropping and sorry if it seems that ur being compared to an object but thats the truth of the world. cold hard facts. my female cus is 36 single and i think still virgin. she ask me to intro suitors to her and i m wondering who would want her?

and yes this is a personal attack because this is a personal topic. it is about ur life. if u dont like hearing it then dont seek for help from others. help yourself.

not saying i splash cold water on you but i think u should not married him because u will make life hard for both him and you.

no point paying lip service saying that u dont want to do this to ur husband. the question is do u know yourself well enough? can u swear that u wont hate sex after trying it? can u swear that u will have a healthy sex life with ur husband? because if u didnt fulfill ur self-made promise that u wont give him the cold shoulder then u shouldnt blame him if he cheats on you after marriage.

[takeout]

Hi Takeout,

thank you for your sharing.

Just curious, why pay for sex? You are young enough to hook someone up for free? And, you can participate in the thrill of pursuing someone.

What if someone finds out, would that hurt your professional reputation or career?

How does not having sex with your wife makes you feel?
Do you feel unloved, unwanted?

What made you want to marry this gf?
Do you not mind that she might have sex with some guys before you came along?



I hope i do not scare you with my questions or disrespectful. I'm really curious.
You can say i'm really a frog in the well when it comes to this.

Due a my worrisome but caring mother, I do have a very sheltered childhood.

Hi again taoxue36,

In an ideal/perfect world, my girlfriend of 7 years who became my wife and mother of my 2 kids, would continue to be interested in sex after the birth of our 2nd child. But unfortunately, things change.
She did not behaved this way because I cheated on her. I never did.
She did not behaved this way because she has a medical condition. We still have sex occasionally, abt once a month.
She just felt that she's not interested in sex anymore.
She has alot of distractions. Namely ALL the TV serials, be it local/HK/Korean.
She very into facebook gaming.
So you see, she'll rather spend time playing games or watching tv than being intimate with me.
Her reasoning is that she's still spending quality time with me. We go out for midnight movies, shopping, dinner at restaurants...
We do everything couples do, except the sex part. well, occasionally.. haha.

Let me try to answer you questions.
Why pay for sex? Why not pursue someone and get sex for free?
So what you're asking me is that I should divorce my wife and go look for someone else?
Or am I supposed to have an affair?
Dun you think both of these options are gonna cause so much more complications than me just paying for sex?
I have a need, I paid for it, I go home.

What if it hurts my reputation?
Welcome to the real world, my lady.
Prostitution is legal. Men around the world visit brothels.
Look at your newspapers and tell me who do you despise more.
The guy who got convicted for visiting illegal brothels or the guy convicted for scamming people's hard earned money?

How do I feel about the situation with my wife?
Of course I felt hurt and unwanted and unloved.
But, I always look at the big picture.
Is she a bad mom? No.
Is she a bad wife? No, except for the sex part.
We communicated and I respect her choices.
As much as I didn't like to, I had to find other ways to relieve myself.
I found it. Nobody got hurt. Problem solved.

What made me wanna marry this girlfriend?
Well, throughout the 7 dating years, life was perfect.
I have a girlfriend that shares my interest, understands me and the sex is great!
Why would I not marry her?
And the first 3-4 years of marriage life was blissful too.
We had 2 beautiful kids, everything was fine.
Then she decided that sex is last on her mind.

You do not marry someone, thinking that person would change his/her ways for you.
You marry that person when you can accept what he/she is.
Unfortunately for me, I married the perfect someone, then 4 years down the road, she removed one part of the package deal. haha..
Please note that I'm not bitter about the situation.
Dun think too much about everything. Whatever happens, life goes on.

Do I mind her having sex with other guys before me?
No, I would have expected her to have sex with her previous boyfriends.
When she became my girlfriend, I wanna have sex with her too.
I dun practice double standards.
But I would have broken off with her if she had sex with other guys after she's with me.

She, having sex with her previous boyfriends, does not make her a slut or cheap.
She's just truly loving that person, willing to share herself with him.
Then when shit happens, for whatever reasons, they break up.
Well, life goes on. She free to look for the next guy that can give her happiness.
She found me. I found her.

I think you're too conscious of what the society will think of you if you do this or do that.
Take the example of your 'shot gun' senior.
You can feel her sense of embarrassment/sadness.
Meaning, you do not want to be caught in that similar situation.
But, does that make her a bad person?
Or does that mean you are a better person that her?
The answer is No, for both qns.

I guessed our definition of 'fooling around' is different.
A couple, married or not, having sex is not fooling around.
To me fooling around means having casual sex with anyone else but your current partner.
Personally I dun fool around, but I dun have a problem with people who does it. It's their personal choice. They choose the life they wanna live.
Again, does fooling around make them a bad person?
Or does it mean I'm a better person than them?
The answer is again, No.

Hope I answered some of your questions, and gave you some food for thoughts about facts of life.

Discuss with your fiance about what the both of you want in your life.
You will be surprised that disagreement about issues like having how many kids could lead to couple's breakup.
So talk things out, and if the future that the both of you want is similar, then go ahead and live that life.
If not, it's best that you go your separate ways to find your happiness.

Good luck, my lady taoxue36.

Takeout

[taoxue36]

you talk about commitment. all i see is you demanding commitment from him and u not offering anything but marriage. and in sg when a marriage fail, the female tend to be on the longer end of the stick. so tell me what can you offer him in return that he wants and desire?

can u guarantee that you will be fair to him after marriage? can u guarantee that you will have a healthy love and sexual relationship with him after marriage? this looks like a very bad investment, its like investing in roulette with only 1 chip. the odds are against him.

and the age 29 is an very late average age to get married.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_at_first_marriage

how long have u been with this guy? do u have previous guy? how many?
ur value is dropping and sorry if it seems that ur being compared to an object but thats the truth of the world. cold hard facts. my female cus is 36 single and i think still virgin. she ask me to intro suitors to her and i m wondering who would want her?

and yes this is a personal attack because this is a personal topic. it is about ur life. if u dont like hearing it then dont seek for help from others. help yourself.

not saying i splash cold water on you but i think u should not married him because u will make life hard for both him and you.

no point paying lip service saying that u dont want to do this to ur husband. the question is do u know yourself well enough? can u swear that u wont hate sex after trying it? can u swear that u will have a healthy sex life with ur husband? because if u didnt fulfill ur self-made promise that u wont give him the cold shoulder then u shouldnt blame him if he cheats on you after marriage.





Which part of Woman's Charter do you think is unfair to men?
Law is law but unfortunately, there is always a way to get around it.

From my limited Law knowledge, if you wanna talk about:

1) Alimony
Ex-wife awarded monthly alimony does not mean the ex-husband will pay her the awarded amount and on time.

Some men (for some reasons), they refused to pay and the wife has to go through all the hassle of chasing money. Or delay payment. If the wife dont make up the difference when the ex-husband willfully refused to pay, can the child don't eat for a month?

Court can award but where is the money?

2a) House
Sometimes, instead of alimony, the wife wants to take the house.
Sometimes, the guy offers that because of the kid.
It is all about negotiation between the couple.
If a guy is so scared of losing the house, live with parents lor.
Only the house the couple lives in is considered Matrimonial Home.
If a couple lives in 3-room HDB and hubby pay 100% for a landed property as investment, the wife cannot touch unless she has contributed SUBSTANTIALLY to his career or business.

2b) House
The court will look at evidence to see who pays for what.
If the wife never contributes downpayment, or monthly payment, she will not get the whole house. Plus, if they are married for a short period and no kids, she might get nothing. So don't think women wanna get married to hold men hostage with money.

If a couple decides to marry, both have "invested" heavily.

If the guy wants to pay for the house and wife pay for furnitures, wife must show proof that she paid for those. Meaning she needs to keep receipts, i wonder what happens if the receipts faded.

In other words, Court can be biased and favor Women TOO MUCH but if the ex-hubby refused to carry out his obligations (based on court ruling) i dont think you can jail him or what, just sue and sue.

3) Man give Condo to mistress as Gifts
Do you know man can sue to take the gift back after relationship has ended?
I don't know how someone can take back things like that, be it mistress or what. When you give, you are a willing party at that time.

You think with Women's Charter, women can misuse it?
Don't forget, in SG, it is the men involved with Legislature that passes the LAW.


Again, i must stress i don't really know much, just happen to know through newspapers and articles over the years.
I don't scheme to take men's hard earned money by marrying him.

Lastly, it is not healthy to talk about who's getting the shorter end of the stick. There are PROs and CONs about being either sex.

[taoxue36]

Hi again taoxue36,

In an ideal/perfect world, my girlfriend of 7 years who became my wife and mother of my 2 kids, would continue to be interested in sex after the birth of our 2nd child. But unfortunately, things change.
She did not behaved this way because I cheated on her. I never did.
She did not behaved this way because she has a medical condition. We still have sex occasionally, abt once a month.
She just felt that she's not interested in sex anymore.
She has alot of distractions. Namely ALL the TV serials, be it local/HK/Korean.
She very into facebook gaming.
So you see, she'll rather spend time playing games or watching tv than being intimate with me.
Her reasoning is that she's still spending quality time with me. We go out for midnight movies, shopping, dinner at restaurants...
We do everything couples do, except the sex part. well, occasionally.. haha.

Let me try to answer you questions.
Why pay for sex? Why not pursue someone and get sex for free?
So what you're asking me is that I should divorce my wife and go look for someone else?
Or am I supposed to have an affair?
Dun you think both of these options are gonna cause so much more complications than me just paying for sex?
I have a need, I paid for it, I go home.

What if it hurts my reputation?
Welcome to the real world, my lady.
Prostitution is legal. Men around the world visit brothels.
Look at your newspapers and tell me who do you despise more.
The guy who got convicted for visiting illegal brothels or the guy convicted for scamming people's hard earned money?

How do I feel about the situation with my wife?
Of course I felt hurt and unwanted and unloved.
But, I always look at the big picture.
Is she a bad mom? No.
Is she a bad wife? No, except for the sex part.
We communicated and I respect her choices.
As much as I didn't like to, I had to find other ways to relieve myself.
I found it. Nobody got hurt. Problem solved.

What made me wanna marry this girlfriend?
Well, throughout the 7 dating years, life was perfect.
I have a girlfriend that shares my interest, understands me and the sex is great!
Why would I not marry her?
And the first 3-4 years of marriage life was blissful too.
We had 2 beautiful kids, everything was fine.
Then she decided that sex is last on her mind.

You do not marry someone, thinking that person would change his/her ways for you.
You marry that person when you can accept what he/she is.
Unfortunately for me, I married the perfect someone, then 4 years down the road, she removed one part of the package deal. haha..
Please note that I'm not bitter about the situation.
Dun think too much about everything. Whatever happens, life goes on.

Do I mind her having sex with other guys before me?
No, I would have expected her to have sex with her previous boyfriends.
When she became my girlfriend, I wanna have sex with her too.
I dun practice double standards.
But I would have broken off with her if she had sex with other guys after she's with me.

She, having sex with her previous boyfriends, does not make her a slut or cheap.
She's just truly loving that person, willing to share herself with him.
Then when shit happens, for whatever reasons, they break up.
Well, life goes on. She free to look for the next guy that can give her happiness.
She found me. I found her.

I think you're too conscious of what the society will think of you if you do this or do that.
Take the example of your 'shot gun' senior.
You can feel her sense of embarrassment/sadness.
Meaning, you do not want to be caught in that similar situation.
But, does that make her a bad person?
Or does that mean you are a better person that her?
The answer is No, for both qns.

I guessed our definition of 'fooling around' is different.
A couple, married or not, having sex is not fooling around.
To me fooling around means having casual sex with anyone else but your current partner.
Personally I dun fool around, but I dun have a problem with people who does it. It's their personal choice. They choose the life they wanna live.
Again, does fooling around make them a bad person?
Or does it mean I'm a better person than them?
The answer is again, No.

Hope I answered some of your questions, and gave you some food for thoughts about facts of life.

Discuss with your fiance about what the both of you want in your life.
You will be surprised that disagreement about issues like having how many kids could lead to couple's breakup.
So talk things out, and if the future that the both of you want is similar, then go ahead and live that life.
If not, it's best that you go your separate ways to find your happiness.

Good luck, my lady taoxue36.

Takeout



Hi Takeout,

thank you for the selfless and candid sharing of your life experiences.

Really appreciate it. :)

[littlepok]

eh TS friend, something very funny. how u know he so obsessed with SBF that he spend all time outside work to surf forum? seriously u think got so many things to see meh?

i so bored at work must always refresh see the threads i follow got new updates anot. u think very exciting meh inside here? siao bo? unless of course he try every single geylang house and OKT FL stables so he got N FR to write daily.

if like that, i think Sam boss should promote him be forum consultant liao, so hardcore. his power is 20 with 10k rep points is it?

if my gf has certain skills on bed (because sleep with previous bf) i certainly dont mind. as a bro mention, sleeping with bf is not a slut or bitch. why u see things so extreme? have sex before means everyday ONS or total abstainment.

assuming your current bf slept with her ex-gf, u will ditch him? what u want from him? travel to the past and pull out the dick at crucial moment or kill the ex-gf before they had sex? what can he do to undo it?

what is the thing u want from a man? someone to love and take care of u or a brand new red shiny unused dick for u to deflower?

if this man is giving u so much trouble and headache, forget it. F all the advice here. just ditch him. get a age 12 bf (guarantee virgin) and guard his dick till he turn 16 and use him to deflower u, tell him u are the only pussy he can ever smell this lifetime. brainwash him daily that other women cb will clip off his dick if he put it in, except yours.

who knows, it might work!

[pattan19]

Hi Taoxue36,

Glad to know that there’s still a channel for discussion about sex related topics in you. Life is a give and take and also a chance to learn from the past. If you are willing to give a chance to talk about these, you must be willing to take a chance of hearing some ugly truths from the past. Once you have taken in (heard) what happened in the past, you must give a chance (let go of the history) to learn from the past (understand what’s missing) for the future. How the future holds for a couple depends entirely on how you both revolve and manage about situations around your lives through family, friends and work matters and personal small talks. As a couple, talking is sharing and if you don’t share, you’ll never know what’s on each other mind and that will result in miscommunication and misunderstanding. Everyone needs some own freedom and space and as adult couples, we should know the boundaries of personal freedom and speech between each other, that’s how I believe trust between couples are slowly build up. How we get to know each other boundary is through sharing and understanding how the other party reacts upon that discussion. I guess your man to be would know better than to even mention the word ‘brothel’ to you, let alone like you mention, sharing which one to visit when you both open talk about sex related topics.

I can see and understand your point of view. Humans hear and learn from other’s mistake and very often what we learn that is negative becomes a deep impression in our lives and not the positive ones. That’s why humans are selfish in this way. We are selfish for ourselves and learning from other’s mistake makes us take (being reserved) and not give (giving our own life a chance).
The history that you heard from your friends are the negative history and good to learn from it but how they manage their life is definitely not the same as how you run yours. I have friends who had shot gun marriages too but they are happily married with more than one kid in the family. There are some who regret making the moves too. Life is 2-sided thing. We have front and back, left and right, but all are not equal. It’s a matter of how we want to run our lives with our loved ones. I too have my fair share of history, good and bad and I learn from these and manage how I live my life and ours, when I have one.
Just for info, sharing of bedroom activities can also happen between husbands and friends. Recently at friend’s meet up session, guy A, asked guy B how he manage to have second kid so soon after the first and as being an all guys session along with some booze, B started to reveal some intimate details describing about how he ‘satisfy’ his wife every time before letting all out inside her and generally how sex can be fun. Now, B’s wife will never know her husband shared this with us as B said only for our info. But who can guarantee the future? If one of the guys, maybe A, share with his wife every detail and happens that A’s wife meet up with B’s wife and reveal what she hear from her husband at that session, do you think the outcome will be pleasant between A and B? We will never know as this is the kind of test that trust comes into an adult life.

Every guy and gal have their history, good and bad. The history is past and the future is what matters for a couple to be together. Being truthful will decide if a couple can be together or not because the truth hurts and that is the first step to a start of a relationship. If either one cannot accept the truth and stand by the other, how to move on and trust each other to withstand or endure together the future unforeseen tests that will come in the coming days, months and years? Hope this answers your question on multiple sex partners if you had before.
Looks like you know how sex plays a part in a couple’s life. It’s good that you think what is past is past but can you be certain yourself that you have let it go? Have you accepted the past? Your open heart to heart talk with him is a must to determine if you and him did or not put the past behind. Don’t let history haunt you both in the future. If you both did let the past go, don’t worry about the future but work on it, make it better but this doesn’t mean giving him sex if you still believe in first time for your husband. If he understood then, he will still understand. If you both did not let the past go, then having a friend is better than having an enemy.

- Honest discussion about sex takes into account some factors like environment and mood. Happy mood gets both parties talking freely. When you both doing something happy together in an enclosed environment, my guess is that is the time. Anyone can create that mood but it takes one to make use of that mood. I do not know your guy temper and behavior so can’t tell you what or how to ask or say to lead to sex related topics. I guess you would know what to ask and say based on his behavior.
- Feel loved and wanted does not equal to sex. Always talk to each other, share stories and when in privacy, cuddle, arouse, kiss, pet and doing for each other can generate that love and wanted feeling too. My ex used to touch and arouse me behind locked doors, chose the moments when I least expect and that made me felt love and wanted. We satisfy each other’s lust without sex and never did it once occur to me that she would do that to other guys as I trust her. We also watch soft porn together and she would tease me about sex but we didn’t go to that stage for same reason as yours. For me, anytime she does that made me felt great but everyone have different mood swing so just take note, you should know him best.
- Just be yourself and talk normally according to your situation. You will only sound like slut if you are into the horny mood and talking about the problem. Be sober and focus and have him in the same tune so that there can be some form of conclusion from the talk.
- Sharing fantasy is a subjective issue. It depends on how you look at fantasy with regards to sex. Everyone have different form and level of fantasy so if you want to go to that zone, be prepare to accept and control the unexpected.
Hope the above helps.

[xiaoquan]

TS don't watch too much ancient Chinese drama.

Having sex with your previous bf doesn't make you a slut.

I don't care if my future wife is a virgin or not.

You can choose to keep your virgin, come marriage, your husband find you incompatible during sex, you think the marriage can last?

[tan-tan]

So guys,

how do i discuss this with him properly?

Faint liao! Juz open your mouth la. Which mouth u decide. Suggest u use the more effective one.

R u also getting addicted to SBF? :rolleyes:

[wow7"]

My Fiance is addicted to SammyBoy should be changed to ; I do not allow my BOYFRIEND (Not Husband) to Fuck me ! Cannot masterbate !
Cannot look at girls ! cannot fuck others too ! Cannot surf Sammyboy.
What can he do ? EUNUCH :D

[EtherC]

TS, Marry a Mormon.

[Sirrus]

aiya just ignore her already. she come here for help but end up arguing and rejecting with everyone's view point.

feels like she here doing a survey and essay on human phycology and somewhere along that line......lame

[Goodpack]

aiya just ignore her already. she come here for help but end up arguing and rejecting with everyone's view point.

feels like she here doing a survey and essay on human phycology and somewhere along that line......lame

She is typical singkie bitch just want attention....... attention seeker.
I put her on my ignore list oredi.

[catalyst]

for 2 years together , never give him fuck...how to tahan

this lady is crazy.....

guy needs to stress out their sperm......:)

[spidey7]

Ts anmoment tok onli. Said cant accept him Visitg pros. She no release him he will get release elsewhere. Like dis his soldiers all die young o natural death.

[Barracuda]

TS, you are cock blocking your BF and if he never release he will have siao chong nao, do you know that?

What happens after that? He will feel restless, short-tempered, maybe become violent, often fall sick, etc.

You are not taking care of him

[davelws]

Face it.
Its not easy to be in a sexless relationship.
You cant blame him for being in here.
Everyone needs a breather.
Since you block yours..means there has to be alternative.
If you didnt play your role well, dont expect others to be perfect.
Though i would say your boyfriend is indeed a 95 percent idea husband.
If you are looking for 100 percent, look youself in the mirror..are you 100 percent too?
And if you choose to leave him, tell me, would you be very sure your next boyfriend is 100 percent perfect?
As in his a monk before he met you....then maybe his 100 percent clean.....

[Gaia81]

Just because you are a monk, doesn't mean the whole whole must stick to vegetables.

It's mother nature at work here, nobody can go against it. Men are designed to be horny.....

[nfiaker]

Sis taoxue,

Bro Pattan19 and Bro Takeout have made excellent points, and pretty much sum up how a man would handle sex after marriage. As a single full blooded male myself, let me share with you why I go to visit pros, and other points.

1) Started sex, know the feeling, difficult to stop.
Men's sex drive is way higher because of our testosterone levels, roughly 20 times that of women. When I was younger, I started visiting a pro because I was curious, and it seemed exciting. Now I do not want to stop because it feels good, and keeps me balanced, and calm. I noticed that after a while, when I do not visit pros, I have this nagging feeling, like something is missing, and I feel irritable, sometimes almost unreasonable. Admittedly, if I had not started, masturbation would probably satisfy me. But at this stage, even masturbating 3 times a day or more cannot compare to the warmth of a woman.

2) Pay and forget/ cannot/dunno where to find/scared to get a FB
Pros are a way of turning sex into a transaction. I have also heard of the idea that men pay for sex, in fact, even women pay for sex, so that they can have the physical pleasure and leave the heart aside for that someone special. In my many years of playing, I have never developed feelings for the women I have paid for in these transactions, unless I have been doing them for a long time and they are more like friends. But girlfriend/marriage material. Never.

As for FB, I guess I have an image problem: not a good talker, dun get out much, overweight, dress plainly, almost shabbly. But on the other hand, I might not even want to get a FB, mainly because I cannot discern the different between a FB relationship and a real r/s. i.e. might fall in love and end up being no better. So in this case, using money keeps my heart where it needs to be, with me, and ready for someone who is worth my trust to give.

I am sure you can see the same patterns in bro Takeout and bro Pattan19's stories as well.

3) Lonely, need to feel "loved"
I know this sounds like a contradiction, but I need to feel "loved" by the pro at least during our time in the transaction. But this is because I have been unsuccessful in dating and have not been able to get a GF. I know it is an endless cycle, and I probably need to break out of it somehow.

But the main point is that the 1-2 hours where this woman is letting me do almost anything to her makes me feel like she is mine, even if it is only fantasy! When a woman gives up her body for me, paid or not, I feel like I am being truly loved. Paid sex though, has the added advantage that when the session is over, there are no quarrels, emotional issues, or bad feelings. I had paid to have a fantasy, and she has provided it. End of story. If you want another 1-2 hours of fantasy, go look for the same woman again. FYI, I have engaged pros for 4 hour stretches because of this feeling, and we screwed like old friends. But after that, everything was fine.

-----
Now for some other thoughts

1) If I had a chance to have a GF, I would not care wether she is a virgin or not.
Seriously, a lot of men have the fantasy of "doing a virgin" but the truth of the matter is finding a virgin to have sex with is not practical in this day and age where women are financially stable and liberated. I used to think saving my virginity for the one I loved was the "right" thing to do, and at most I would try a hand job or blow job.... boy, see where that got me! :D

For me, I expect my woman to match the standards which I can handle, and nothing more. I cannot say what I would do if my future woman pays for sex, or was previously a pro. But if she has had a boyfriend before, I would expect her to be experienced, be it full intercourse or not. So if I do really decided on a woman in the future, and she does accept me. I will have to take her for what she is, her experiences with her ex-s and all.

Sure there will be some asshole ex-s who might taunt me saying "This woman is good in bed when I had her blah blah blah" and yes, it is embarrassing. But the truth is, I still ended up loving her in spite of such behavior, so I just have to accept it.

2) Sex is not what it is made out to be, and you might not be able to handle it without practice.
From what I saw of your "confession" - for lack of a better word - you seem to believe that sex with your husband is going to be an intimate, loving, caring experience. But I can tell you. It's tough to get to that point, and unlikely the case the first time round. When I started out, I thought I was going to have an explosion of ecstasy why floating in the clouds. Reality? I was so nervous, I got numb, and nothing worked. Biggest "fuck ups" I ever had. :D

Good sex only happens after many many many many and I cannot over emphasize MANY sex sessions, and a LOT of communication. "Do you like it here?", "How do you feel when I touch you here?", "Harder?", "Softer?", "Faster?", "Slower?", "Poke left?", "Poke right?".

Not to mention are you sure you can keep up with his pace enough to satisfy him? When men talk about being really satisfied, some extreme cases can do it like 8-10 times over the course of a weekend. You are in for a shock if u expect to satisfy him with one single 30 min "quickie" after marriage, especially during the earlier years.

During the four hour stretch I had with the pro, I did it about 6-8 times, if that can even be a gauge.

And what about YOUR needs? If you have never touched yourself, and never had an orgasm, how can he help u feel satisfied in bed? You want to explore with him the very first time after you get married? That is going to take a lot of patience, understanding, frustration, heart ache, associations with ideas that might not even be true e.g. "You do not know how to love me, that is why you do not know how to pleasure me"

I am encouraging self exploration and understanding, NOT against any religion. I believe you should still try it once for yourself and handle the emotions that you feel before and after, just so that you know what to expect. Of course, if you can get your fiance to participate, all the better!

In that sense, if you do not know yourself, you are "dying" by not growing.

3) Needing to "test drive"? That is not how I see it.
We guys like to use the term test drive, but I disagree with the analogy. We are not testing anything. Having sex is a natural drive for all humans, and to be enjoyed by both men and women. I screw because I want to, and because I feel loved and accepted by my woman when she gives herself to me. The contrary is also true. If I know a woman well enough to say we are committed, I would expect that she show me her love by giving me her trust. In this case, showing it to me by giving me her body as well as her mind, many many times over.

In that sense, I treat sex as a matter of her trusting me as well. So if she does not give it to me, for whatever reason, where is her trust in me? Talk is cheap, actions speak louder that words, and no amount of gifts, or acts of service can compare to a woman giving herself whole to me. Mind, body and soul. I can't say that is how your fiance feels though, I am a touch based person, i.e. I need physical contact to feel loved.

As for how to broach the subject with your fiance, it will be a difficult task. But a calm way of speech, and lots of affection will help to soften the impact. Even if he feels angry or sad or gets emotional, you must stay calm and assure him you still love him. There is no best way to do it except try and live, and grow.

Lastly, writing this post has helped me see myself as well.

I wish you all the best.

[taoxue36]

Sis taoxue,

Bro Pattan19 and Bro Takeout have made excellent points, and pretty much sum up how a man would handle sex after marriage. As a single full blooded male myself, let me share with you why I go to visit pros, and other points.

1) Started sex, know the feeling, difficult to stop.
Men's sex drive is way higher because of our testosterone levels, roughly 20 times that of women. When I was younger, I started visiting a pro because I was curious, and it seemed exciting. Now I do not want to stop because it feels good, and keeps me balanced, and calm. I noticed that after a while, when I do not visit pros, I have this nagging feeling, like something is missing, and I feel irritable, sometimes almost unreasonable. Admittedly, if I had not started, masturbation would probably satisfy me. But at this stage, even masturbating 3 times a day or more cannot compare to the warmth of a woman.

2) Pay and forget/ cannot/dunno where to find/scared to get a FB
Pros are a way of turning sex into a transaction. I have also heard of the idea that men pay for sex, in fact, even women pay for sex, so that they can have the physical pleasure and leave the heart aside for that someone special. In my many years of playing, I have never developed feelings for the women I have paid for in these transactions, unless I have been doing them for a long time and they are more like friends. But girlfriend/marriage material. Never.

As for FB, I guess I have an image problem: not a good talker, dun get out much, overweight, dress plainly, almost shabbly. But on the other hand, I might not even want to get a FB, mainly because I cannot discern the different between a FB relationship and a real r/s. i.e. might fall in love and end up being no better. So in this case, using money keeps my heart where it needs to be, with me, and ready for someone who is worth my trust to give.

I am sure you can see the same patterns in bro Takeout and bro Pattan19's stories as well.

3) Lonely, need to feel "loved"
I know this sounds like a contradiction, but I need to feel "loved" by the pro at least during our time in the transaction. But this is because I have been unsuccessful in dating and have not been able to get a GF. I know it is an endless cycle, and I probably need to break out of it somehow.

But the main point is that the 1-2 hours where this woman is letting me do almost anything to her makes me feel like she is mine, even if it is only fantasy! When a woman gives up her body for me, paid or not, I feel like I am being truly loved. Paid sex though, has the added advantage that when the session is over, there are no quarrels, emotional issues, or bad feelings. I had paid to have a fantasy, and she has provided it. End of story. If you want another 1-2 hours of fantasy, go look for the same woman again. FYI, I have engaged pros for 4 hour stretches because of this feeling, and we screwed like old friends. But after that, everything was fine.

-----
Now for some other thoughts

1) If I had a chance to have a GF, I would not care wether she is a virgin or not.
Seriously, a lot of men have the fantasy of "doing a virgin" but the truth of the matter is finding a virgin to have sex with is not practical in this day and age where women are financially stable and liberated. I used to think saving my virginity for the one I loved was the "right" thing to do, and at most I would try a hand job or blow job.... boy, see where that got me! :D

For me, I expect my woman to match the standards which I can handle, and nothing more. I cannot say what I would do if my future woman pays for sex, or was previously a pro. But if she has had a boyfriend before, I would expect her to be experienced, be it full intercourse or not. So if I do really decided on a woman in the future, and she does accept me. I will have to take her for what she is, her experiences with her ex-s and all.

Sure there will be some asshole ex-s who might taunt me saying "This woman is good in bed when I had her blah blah blah" and yes, it is embarrassing. But the truth is, I still ended up loving her in spite of such behavior, so I just have to accept it.

2) Sex is not what it is made out to be, and you might not be able to handle it without practice.
From what I saw of your "confession" - for lack of a better word - you seem to believe that sex with your husband is going to be an intimate, loving, caring experience. But I can tell you. It's tough to get to that point, and unlikely the case the first time round. When I started out, I thought I was going to have an explosion of ecstasy why floating in the clouds. Reality? I was so nervous, I got numb, and nothing worked. Biggest "fuck ups" I ever had. :D

Good sex only happens after many many many many and I cannot over emphasize MANY sex sessions, and a LOT of communication. "Do you like it here?", "How do you feel when I touch you here?", "Harder?", "Softer?", "Faster?", "Slower?", "Poke left?", "Poke right?".

Not to mention are you sure you can keep up with his pace enough to satisfy him? When men talk about being really satisfied, some extreme cases can do it like 8-10 times over the course of a weekend. You are in for a shock if u expect to satisfy him with one single 30 min "quickie" after marriage, especially during the earlier years.

During the four hour stretch I had with the pro, I did it about 6-8 times, if that can even be a gauge.

And what about YOUR needs? If you have never touched yourself, and never had an orgasm, how can he help u feel satisfied in bed? You want to explore with him the very first time after you get married? That is going to take a lot of patience, understanding, frustration, heart ache, associations with ideas that might not even be true e.g. "You do not know how to love me, that is why you do not know how to pleasure me"

I am encouraging self exploration and understanding, NOT against any religion. I believe you should still try it once for yourself and handle the emotions that you feel before and after, just so that you know what to expect. Of course, if you can get your fiance to participate, all the better!

In that sense, if you do not know yourself, you are "dying" by not growing.

3) Needing to "test drive"? That is not how I see it.
We guys like to use the term test drive, but I disagree with the analogy. We are not testing anything. Having sex is a natural drive for all humans, and to be enjoyed by both men and women. I screw because I want to, and because I feel loved and accepted by my woman when she gives herself to me. The contrary is also true. If I know a woman well enough to say we are committed, I would expect that she show me her love by giving me her trust. In this case, showing it to me by giving me her body as well as her mind, many many times over.

In that sense, I treat sex as a matter of her trusting me as well. So if she does not give it to me, for whatever reason, where is her trust in me? Talk is cheap, actions speak louder that words, and no amount of gifts, or acts of service can compare to a woman giving herself whole to me. Mind, body and soul. I can't say that is how your fiance feels though, I am a touch based person, i.e. I need physical contact to feel loved.

As for how to broach the subject with your fiance, it will be a difficult task. But a calm way of speech, and lots of affection will help to soften the impact. Even if he feels angry or sad or gets emotional, you must stay calm and assure him you still love him. There is no best way to do it except try and live, and grow.

Lastly, writing this post has helped me see myself as well.

I wish you all the best.

Hi Brother,

Your reply is frank and such an eye-opener for me.
Seriously, the pro don’t feel sore? 6-8 times for 1 customer?

Though many women have high expectations, they don’t always get what they wish for.
Not all marry handsome, rich guys who drive sports cars.

If you think you don’t talk much, you need to improve on your communication skills. Not only will it help u in dating but in your work too. Nowadays, you can always whatsapp the girl with interesting stuff.
Like the food u ordered at restaurants, talk to them once in a while. “chasing” girls is a long and difficult process, especially if she’s a good catch, you will face huge competition. I say a proper girl will need at least 6 months BEFORE she will consider you as a potential date. This is assuming she has no interest in you at all in the first place. Women can look beyond your outer appearance but only if they can see your inner beauty. It takes time to know a person, much longer time for a woman to trust you and open up.

Some girls only want to be with guys they love; some want to be loved by their men.
I believe deep down in your heart, you wish to be with a special someone.
Not that I’m judging u for visiting pros, but if you depend on paying for sex, I believe there is less motivation for finding that life partner.

Think about this, who will celebrate your birthday, care for you when you are sick or feeling down, start a family with you and eventually, you can have your own kid calling you daddy.
Who is going to take care of you when you get old? Your siblings will have their own family to take care.

You say you dress shabbly, this is the PERFECT excuse to date a woman. Ask her for opinions to help you date girls, then buy her lunch or dinner for helping you. During meals, can practice chatting with her, ask her what girls like then ask what she likes. Don’t make it too obvious though.

I apologise for being a busybody and giving u advice when you didn’t ask for it.
I really hope I can help u too. 

[nfiaker]

Sis,

To answer your question first, yea, she did say she was sore when I met her for the next session some time later.

So far, I have yet to get past, or even get to a first date, most do not even reply my messages, much less allow me a second date, or even asking about opinions.

I have a bunch of guy friends for daily talk cock and pro for sex and "intimacy". Far from perfect, but far from lonely.

Yes, looking for pros and getting quick sex fixes does not give much motivation to look for a gf, considering what you just said about needing 6 months to get a girl to think seriously. Heck, how to even get her to think about me when she dun even answer my messages?

Of course, it would be good to try knowing a special someone. Never happened in my life before.

I am always open to advice, although coz you dun really know me, so the advice is still generic. And I do know what I must do, just that it has been a lot of procrastination of all sorts.

But back to the topic. What I am trying to say, with all my examples, is that your man is still great, at least as you have described. If you are as open as you say you are, then talking to him is the only way.

Come back here to let us know if there was progress anytime. We will try to help through our words when we can.

[Tai_zi21]

You say you dress shabbly, this is the PERFECT excuse to date a woman. Ask her for opinions to help you date girls, then buy her lunch or dinner for helping you. During meals, can practice chatting with her, ask her what girls like then ask what she likes. Don’t make it too obvious though.


I think you are right here! but meaning that the perfect way to get reject by a woman! For local gals... u dress shabbly and ask for her opinions? well if u pay for her shopping... i do agree! i think ur advice dun help at all

Any ladies in this forum thinking it a very gd way to date out a women? Pls let me know and i hope i'm wrong abt this!

[kittymae]

I think you are right here! but meaning that the perfect way to get reject by a woman! For local gals... u dress shabbly and ask for her opinions? well if u pay for her shopping... i do agree! i think ur advice dun help at all

Any ladies in this forum thinking it a very gd way to date out a women? Pls let me know and i hope i'm wrong abt this!

I hv to agree w bro tai_zi...it may lead to rejection, but IMHO, for another possible reason.
If a guy is able to ask a gal for tips, he prob is on pretty comfortable terms w her already... Is here a need to 'find excuses"?
Rather, if a guy I'm not familiar w asking me these, I'll get a little freaked out therefore leading to 'rejecting'

[Tai_zi21]

I hv to agree w bro tai_zi...it may lead to rejection, but IMHO, for another possible reason.
If a guy is able to ask a gal for tips, he prob is on pretty comfortable terms w her already... Is here a need to 'find excuses"?
Rather, if a guy I'm not familiar w asking me these, I'll get a little freaked out therefore leading to 'rejecting'

So late haven't sleep huh sis meow meow?

Agreed with you that if i wanna ask some gal this ques,it would be someone i am really comfortable ard with and no hidden agenda also! after all i do believe in being very gd friend with the opp sex!

Glad there is still someone like kittymae i call a local gal thinking! haha

[freedom1984]

Hi Ah Seng, visiting this forum or even porn sites doesn't really bothers me.
What bothers me is that he shared about his experiences about special massages in JB. However, i must add that this post was slightly before we "officially" got together. We were only dating back then.

I'm really not angry. Just frustrated, hurt, sad, i really cannot understand.

Wtf?! Only dating thn whn he vist jb for massages n here u r making Ho ha... Anyway. Do u understand the meaning of give n take ?? It takes 2 hands to claps.. u think u can look for someone better.. pls leave him.. but u will regard.. cos from wat I c from ur post.. his a 95% good man.. trust me..

[Putin]

I think you are right here!

True, agreed as well :cool:

[king91]

eh, i think if a guy is single, then its ok to look for prostitute. but once attached, if he carry on, then dump him.

and for you, just be brave, open your mouth, and ask him, "have you had sex with other girls before? who?".
if he lies, dump him.

[max98010]

Err, ladies and gentlements,

Its been some time since my postings on a sex related forum, especially on sbf.
Since some past history happened to me and my wife.

To all the bros and sis taoxue36
Im 27 this yr and I think im considered eligible to give my point of view on this particular topic. I dont see a point of a discussion being so heated and everyone gets pissed off about it.

now for the guys:
My point of view, 98% of the guys definitely tried commercial sex before, be it from a fastfood appointment, to a high end escort and to a special massage. Or those bro's who tried extramarital affairs, i understand how it feels, believe me, im juz like an ordinary guy as you are, so no need much explanation.

[max98010]

now sis:
I strongly suggest, one of the best option is, to have a bed talk with your partner. and please keep an open mind, both of you. be frank about each other;s feelings, and share each other's experience. Believe me the " i dont care what every thing that you do no matter how reasonable it is, WRONG is WRONG" attitude, I think 90% of your marriage will have consequences and will face problem sooner or later.

now the key to your questions,
all the questions you asked, its best you ask from your fiance. All of us have different reasons and ideas. And not everyone;s story is going to please you and might not help you much as well, you still have to get the answers from your fiance. So that its like identify needs/problems, action plan and solutions options.

[max98010]

I'm glad in the end, i have a very understanding wife, although both of us have very low libido and yet we respected each other, she kept a closed eye on me (for flirting girls) and focus attention of her love, and i kept both eye closed for her outing with other guys and flirting other guys. now im not saying that this is right or the best things to do. But, low in interest and low in sex libido and boredome is our problem and yet this is one of the solution, and we still love each other, and kept our own secrets "with respect!" to each other. coz we have different priorities

now sis, key is, communication, identify problem, think of a better idea and try out solutions, you kept saying that you're hurt it wont get your questions answered. I

its a fact to be understood and to be respected.


my 2 cents

[maxman]

Sis taoxue,

Bro Pattan19 and Bro Takeout have made excellent points, and pretty much sum up how a man would handle sex after marriage. As a single full blooded male myself, let me share with you why I go to visit pros, and other points.

1) Started sex, know the feeling, difficult to stop.
Men's sex drive is way higher because of our testosterone levels, roughly 20 times that of women. When I was younger, I started visiting a pro because I was curious, and it seemed exciting. Now I do not want to stop because it feels good, and keeps me balanced, and calm. I noticed that after a while, when I do not visit pros, I have this nagging feeling, like something is missing, and I feel irritable, sometimes almost unreasonable. Admittedly, if I had not started, masturbation would probably satisfy me. But at this stage, even masturbating 3 times a day or more cannot compare to the warmth of a woman.

2) Pay and forget/ cannot/dunno where to find/scared to get a FB
Pros are a way of turning sex into a transaction. I have also heard of the idea that men pay for sex, in fact, even women pay for sex, so that they can have the physical pleasure and leave the heart aside for that someone special. In my many years of playing, I have never developed feelings for the women I have paid for in these transactions, unless I have been doing them for a long time and they are more like friends. But girlfriend/marriage material. Never.

As for FB, I guess I have an image problem: not a good talker, dun get out much, overweight, dress plainly, almost shabbly. But on the other hand, I might not even want to get a FB, mainly because I cannot discern the different between a FB relationship and a real r/s. i.e. might fall in love and end up being no better. So in this case, using money keeps my heart where it needs to be, with me, and ready for someone who is worth my trust to give.

I am sure you can see the same patterns in bro Takeout and bro Pattan19's stories as well.

3) Lonely, need to feel "loved"
I know this sounds like a contradiction, but I need to feel "loved" by the pro at least during our time in the transaction. But this is because I have been unsuccessful in dating and have not been able to get a GF. I know it is an endless cycle, and I probably need to break out of it somehow.

But the main point is that the 1-2 hours where this woman is letting me do almost anything to her makes me feel like she is mine, even if it is only fantasy! When a woman gives up her body for me, paid or not, I feel like I am being truly loved. Paid sex though, has the added advantage that when the session is over, there are no quarrels, emotional issues, or bad feelings. I had paid to have a fantasy, and she has provided it. End of story. If you want another 1-2 hours of fantasy, go look for the same woman again. FYI, I have engaged pros for 4 hour stretches because of this feeling, and we screwed like old friends. But after that, everything was fine.

-----
Now for some other thoughts

1) If I had a chance to have a GF, I would not care wether she is a virgin or not.
Seriously, a lot of men have the fantasy of "doing a virgin" but the truth of the matter is finding a virgin to have sex with is not practical in this day and age where women are financially stable and liberated. I used to think saving my virginity for the one I loved was the "right" thing to do, and at most I would try a hand job or blow job.... boy, see where that got me! :D

For me, I expect my woman to match the standards which I can handle, and nothing more. I cannot say what I would do if my future woman pays for sex, or was previously a pro. But if she has had a boyfriend before, I would expect her to be experienced, be it full intercourse or not. So if I do really decided on a woman in the future, and she does accept me. I will have to take her for what she is, her experiences with her ex-s and all.

Sure there will be some asshole ex-s who might taunt me saying "This woman is good in bed when I had her blah blah blah" and yes, it is embarrassing. But the truth is, I still ended up loving her in spite of such behavior, so I just have to accept it.

2) Sex is not what it is made out to be, and you might not be able to handle it without practice.
From what I saw of your "confession" - for lack of a better word - you seem to believe that sex with your husband is going to be an intimate, loving, caring experience. But I can tell you. It's tough to get to that point, and unlikely the case the first time round. When I started out, I thought I was going to have an explosion of ecstasy why floating in the clouds. Reality? I was so nervous, I got numb, and nothing worked. Biggest "fuck ups" I ever had. :D

Good sex only happens after many many many many and I cannot over emphasize MANY sex sessions, and a LOT of communication. "Do you like it here?", "How do you feel when I touch you here?", "Harder?", "Softer?", "Faster?", "Slower?", "Poke left?", "Poke right?".

Not to mention are you sure you can keep up with his pace enough to satisfy him? When men talk about being really satisfied, some extreme cases can do it like 8-10 times over the course of a weekend. You are in for a shock if u expect to satisfy him with one single 30 min "quickie" after marriage, especially during the earlier years.

During the four hour stretch I had with the pro, I did it about 6-8 times, if that can even be a gauge.

And what about YOUR needs? If you have never touched yourself, and never had an orgasm, how can he help u feel satisfied in bed? You want to explore with him the very first time after you get married? That is going to take a lot of patience, understanding, frustration, heart ache, associations with ideas that might not even be true e.g. "You do not know how to love me, that is why you do not know how to pleasure me"

I am encouraging self exploration and understanding, NOT against any religion. I believe you should still try it once for yourself and handle the emotions that you feel before and after, just so that you know what to expect. Of course, if you can get your fiance to participate, all the better!

In that sense, if you do not know yourself, you are "dying" by not growing.

3) Needing to "test drive"? That is not how I see it.
We guys like to use the term test drive, but I disagree with the analogy. We are not testing anything. Having sex is a natural drive for all humans, and to be enjoyed by both men and women. I screw because I want to, and because I feel loved and accepted by my woman when she gives herself to me. The contrary is also true. If I know a woman well enough to say we are committed, I would expect that she show me her love by giving me her trust. In this case, showing it to me by giving me her body as well as her mind, many many times over.

In that sense, I treat sex as a matter of her trusting me as well. So if she does not give it to me, for whatever reason, where is her trust in me? Talk is cheap, actions speak louder that words, and no amount of gifts, or acts of service can compare to a woman giving herself whole to me. Mind, body and soul. I can't say that is how your fiance feels though, I am a touch based person, i.e. I need physical contact to feel loved.

As for how to broach the subject with your fiance, it will be a difficult task. But a calm way of speech, and lots of affection will help to soften the impact. Even if he feels angry or sad or gets emotional, you must stay calm and assure him you still love him. There is no best way to do it except try and live, and grow.

Lastly, writing this post has helped me see myself as well.

I wish you all the best.

Very honest opinion!!! Good effort. I like this.

[maxman]

eh, i think if a guy is single, then its ok to look for prostitute. but once attached, if he carry on, then dump him.

and for you, just be brave, open your mouth, and ask him, "have you had sex with other girls before? who?".
if he lies, dump him.

I second this. I think this is fair.

Any man or woman who lies, or worse, has a habit of lying, will likely lie again. You don't want that.

[taureanwoman08]

My ex-husband used to be, and probably still is very active here. He liked to visit prostitutes despite having a wife whose colleagues and friends praised as being attractive with a pair of long white sexy legs. What more can we say about men?

[taureanwoman08]

My ex-husband used to be, and probably still is very active here. He liked to visit prostitutes despite having a wife whose colleagues and friends praised as being attractive with a pair of long white sexy legs. What more can we say about men?

[hollow0001]

Hi TS,
If you value your bf do talk to him. As you have asked how to talk to your bf about this topic I suggest you to use your heart.

Dont be a drifter, your objective hear is to be heard and believe you have been heard already and lots of ppl here have also giving you their life experience be it good or bad it's up to ur perspective.

Your objective has been met here the rest is for you to act on it.

Good luck with you with the conversation to your bf.

[JacqueMerlin]

aiya just ignore her already. she come here for help but end up arguing and rejecting with everyone's view point.

feels like she here doing a survey and essay on human phycology and somewhere along that line......lame
yes, i agree. I will leave the sensitive religious topics aside, I know which religion TS subscribes, her profile type and trust me, she will never budge. I just believe in one thing. Do not stop others from getting what you don't want. If you have to, then set him free. TS wants refuse to let her fiance from getting what he wants yet cages him from leaving... I thought you love him and love being the core principles of her religion is not practiced... Hypocrisy knows no boundaries in these kind of people.

[Brainstorm]

My ex-husband used to be, and probably still is very active here. He liked to visit prostitutes despite having a wife whose colleagues and friends praised as being attractive with a pair of long white sexy legs. What more can we say about men?

Well, from what you had just described, we men can say it's useless to just have a pair of long white sexy legs. How sure are you that the prostitutes he visits don't have better things than a pair of long white sexy legs, like sex skills and a better figure, more boobs and less bitching at him in real life?

[taureanwoman08]

I can do anything that any of his whores can do. Even more.

[divedeeper]

I can do anything that any of his whores can do. Even more.There is more to a relationship than sex. Even if you are as good as his "whores" were, something was obviously missing.

[kittymae]

There is more to a relationship than sex. Even if you are as good as his "whores" were, something was obviously missing.

Yeps, agree.
The mindset perhaps?
Rather than going at it with 'I can do anything she can', it should be 'I will do anything to please him'

[Ravenzou]

It is true that in a relationship, sex is not all but it is still a important part of it. So long if u r not communicating then even u know u can do more than the WL, he won't know how willing u r to please him.

I know some men do go to these ladies to learn how to please or sextify thier woman and pls stop saying u r ok with ok normal flat sex action because by saying that u r liar and in a self absorb world on yr own. Men is also human and we do know that we r not born to be a sex guru and sometimes we need help and yes some of u might say it is not right to go to these ladies and then how? That's why this forum came about to share information and learn from each other. This is a like a double edge sword it can help to share knowledge and it is also a place that businesses can be done. It is all in the person to decide for him or her self.

If TS is so concern then why not sit down together with bf and surf together and learn together? And stop complaining.

[AlphaRomeoo]

I can do anything that any of his whores can do. Even more.

Don't mean to offend you but just giving my perspective. Sometimes guys get bored just having sex with one woman. We want adventure and variety and when he visits prostitutes and whores he gets that and gets to experience something different from someone.

You might be able to do anything that any of his whores can do and might be gorgeous drop dead beautiful but you can't give him what he craves for which is variety?

Don't zap me please and I hope this helps.

[kittymae]

It is true that in a relationship, sex is not all but it is still a important part of it. So long if u r not communicating then even u know u can do more than the WL, he won't know how willing u r to please him.

I know some men do go to these ladies to learn how to please or sextify thier woman and pls stop saying u r ok with ok normal flat sex action because by saying that u r liar and in a self absorb world on yr own. Men is also human and we do know that we r not born to be a sex guru and sometimes we need help and yes some of u might say it is not right to go to these ladies and then how? That's why this forum came about to share information and learn from each other. This is a like a double edge sword it can help to share knowledge and it is also a place that businesses can be done. It is all in the person to decide for him or her self.

If TS is so concern then why not sit down together with bf and surf together and learn together? And stop complaining.

*applauds*
So true!!!
There's always more that can be learnt even if ure already good at t :)
And always good to explore new ideas and stuff to keep things spiced up in bed too

[Gunblader]

i see taoxue36 is addicted to sammyboy already. haha

[vonnieleung]

never give him fuck...

[Ravenzou]

*applauds*
So true!!!
There's always more that can be learnt even if ure already good at t :)
And always good to explore new ideas and stuff to keep things spiced up in bed too

Thanks Kitty Cat. Not sure if u r in total agreement with my POV but I do appaulde u for speaking out :) as a lady.

[curiouslala]

Hi, sis!
I'll try to answer ur qns.

1) Can anyone here explain to me how this can happen?
He's a guy. And I think he's normal guy.

2) Should i marry this man? Or should i break off?
If u love him and can see a future with him, just marry him ba.
If u dun love him anymore, just break off.

If he promised to change, should i believe him? I do not believe i have the power to change any man especially since he's so hardcore about sex.
Why should he change? Sex is one of human needs. Normal wat?

3) What will my future be like with him?
U imagine ba. How do I know is his personality?

4) Why do men pay for sex?
Because he ain't got it from u or because u ain't good enough in bed.

Please do not suggest that we have sex before marriage.
I'm so glad that we didn't, at least now i can leave him and build another relationship with a good man.
No need sex before marriage.
U can help him by pleasuring him orally. Beside if u gg to marry him wat. So at least u must know how to make him satisfied.

Though, i must say that i do not know who to trust anymore.

5) Lastly, if i were your serious girlfriend, fiancee or wife, would you quit doing this if you know exactly how hurt i am?
If I'm a guy, I wont. I've respected u as my gf/fiancee/wife by not asking u to engage in pre marital sex, but as a guy, a man and a human, I need to chanelling my sexual energy.


Last from me, I respect u by following ur upbringing and belief by not doing pre marital sex. But, men will be men. They need something to hooked them to u.
I am NOT suggesting u to do pre marital sex with him as its ur belief not to do it before u and him being a husband and wife. But, u can give him another service like orally pleasuring him.
Beside, u must know about sex and all for ur sex life after marriage. No need to watch porn. There's so many source for u to learn more about sex. :)

[BoinKING]

5 - easy to say like how woman will will say that men dont understand how period cramps can be..
But woman dont understand... Esp low sex drive ones how a high sex drive man will feel.

When u grow balls and produce testosterones, then u can say IF i was a man.
You aint.. When the urge kicks in..it becomes a inhibition to have sex...it is fucking hardwired.

Self control is no longer an option, if not sex industry will go bust..

So is it fair to say that its just the hormones talking?

[curiouslala]

Hi all,

Thank you all for sharing.

Just to clear some misunderstandings about me.

I’m ok with occasional porn surfing or discussions (not all the time after work; that seems like an addiction). Discussion about sex is a good way to learn, especially when you are anonymous online.
Though I feel otherwise about discussing which brothels to visit etc..
*erm.. if u make him happy, he won't need to shop for happiness mah*

I believe in having sex after marriage not because I’m so holy, or naïve etc…
The decisions I stick to and the values I held onto have practical reasons beyond religious beliefs.
*good point. I respect u*

- It is to protect myself from guys who just want sex or using me for own needs only.
*sex goes both way. Pleasuring each other. So there's no guy use for sex unless u are a prostitute or he raped u.*

- It is women who have to deal with the aftermath of sex; the risk of getting pregnant and the difficult decision of whether to keep the baby. Either way, if it happens to me, I will have regrets about it. Even if the guy wants to marry becos of the baby, you won’t know if he feels “forced” into marrying. Forced because of pressure from family or friends. He might want to in the future but now is not the right time.
*I think we now all clever enough. There's so many kind of precautions. From morning after pills, condom, pills, iud, until permanent one. So, no excuse too.*

- Guys kiss n tell, no sex = nothing to tell. I am protecting my loved ones from getting hurt and being embarrassed in the future.
*if u using contraception, all this won't happen.*

- Many men compartmentalize their relationships; girlfriend category, wife category, casual sex only etc.. I just don’t want to be taken for a ride that’s all.
*if u at 1st date straight go to his bedroom or hotel and have sex with him, u surely being categorized to casual sex. But if u take time to get to know him and let him know u too before sex, he might categorized u to gf/wife material.*

I’m 29 this year.
My Secondary School best friend has been with her JC bf till age 27.
She wanted to settle down, but the bf refused and they broke up.
Long story short, as a 3rd party, I see this guy as someone who keeps her in a relationship so that he can get his sexual needs satisfied. I can only say what I observe. If my friend is not giving sex, the guy will have to decide if he wants to stay with her or find another gf more suitable.
She wouldn’t have wasted her time n effort and end up getting hurt in the end.
*since u are the 3rd person, u dunno the story very well. There might be other reason y he dun wan to settle down yet. Maybe because he's not ready financially to feed ur friend after they married.*

My sister’s friend got pregnant at age 21, right after polytechnic. During her pregnancy, she has to avoid friend’s gatherings to prevent other friends from knowing what the guy did.
NOTE: the intention is to protect the guy’s NS friends from knowing about this and gossiping about him in camp.
This kid will grow up without a legitimate father and the young girl has to do all those things to protect the guy.
*her fault. I think she had learned biology at school and at least know about sex education. So, she should prepare prevention and rejected her bf if he dun have condom with him. If he forcing her, she can report the case to the police and say he raped her.*

When I met my Senior from Secondary school, she told me she got married a few years ago (translate to about age 21/22). Without thinking much, I said wow why u get married so early? She replied, “shot-gun lah”. But I can see a mixture of “embarrassment, sadness, helplessness etc..” in her eyes.
*same with above. All shotgun marriage can be prevented if every couple smart enough to use contraception. Even its not 100% safe.*

Lastly, I’ve a female friend who did a blowjob with a guy outside office, however, words spread to her office and her colleagues teased her unceasingly about it.
*she should have picked a tight lipped guy.*

If the above happens to your daughter, do you still feel that your daughter should just enjoy the moment and satisfy her man?
*I think if I teach her well about sex education, she can love herself and her man without having these side effects.*

These are some of the examples why I must not fool around. I am sure if the person I explore sex with is my hubby, he won’t go around telling his friends our bedroom activities or talk about it in a disrespectful manner.
*How would u know? Did u see people in here? There are guys who SHARE his gf/wife with another guy(s) or even couples. And there are many more whom taken the videos or pictures of him fucking his gf/wife and post it here. I think u probably having heart attack if ur hubby post ur pics or video here. Lol*

Guys, tell me honestly. If I were to be “open about sex” (with my ex-bfs) the way some of you have mentioned, how will you see me or treat me as YOUR girlfriend?
*I'm no guy, but I'll think u knew how to love ur bf and urself. Bcos sex is not just merely to satisfy ur partner, but also yourself.*

If I am very experienced, and now that you are my current bf, we had GREAT sex.
Wouldn’t you wonder how many guys I’ve slept with? Can you trust me?
*if I'm a guy, I won't wonder. Its your past. Now you with me and we're sharing our love too. If you not a loose woman who fuck anything with a dick, and u prove that u can be trusted, y I can't trust u?*

Maybe I’ve had one-night-stands numerous times before you? Who knows it might be your NS buddy, your colleague, neighbor, cousin, your buddies? What if so “suay”, some guy we know happened to have sex with me before?
*if u did have that many, then what?*

*Anyway, do u know if ur guy having how many ONS before he's with u? How many gals that he fucked before? Maybe she's ur colleagues, neighbor, cousin, close friends of yours? How u know the truth if he said he never had sex before? Using lie detector? Oh, come on..*

I am very clear not to be open about casual sex (or sex outside marriage).
*okay. Upbringing and religious reason, respected and accepted*

However, I do want to be open in exploring sex with my hubby. I am not “close-minded” missionary-style Christian. I really want to have an exciting and fulfilling sex life (with my hubby only).
I really believe there is nothing dirty between a married couple.
*great to know this*

I view sex as something to keep a couple’s love and affection going.
Not too frequent, you will get sick and bored of it. Not too little, you might drift apart unknowingly.
*how many is not to frequent? Once a week? Twice a month? And how many is too little? Once a month? Once every 2/3 months? Or maybe once a year?
In the chemistry side, having pleasurable sex creating hormone which make u two loving each other more and have deeper connection.
and sex should not be something routine. Its should be unpredictable and fun.*

Some of you have pointed out that we’ve not have an open discussion about sex. I must admit, that’s quite true. He doesn’t bring it up and I don’t know how to bring it up though I really want to know what he thinks. I don’t know how to ask him so that he won’t feel that he is being judged by me.
*once when he drop by to ur house, just talk about it. Dun feel shy.*

He’s not attached at that time when he had special massage. I think he’s really lonely back then.
I think what’s past is past; I really shouldn’t dig out his past and condemn him for it, though I’m very worried about our future together.
*special massage is not same with sex la. U can offer him too wat? If he ejaculated, can wash ur hand mah. Then he no need find special massage again lor.*

- How can we have AN HONEST discussion about sex? I’m really open to discussion though there are some things that I will not do.
*u should remember, that past belong to past time. No need to bring it up. U wan marry his past or his present and future? There's no normal guy who live as a monk. Except if u go and find a monk.*

- Since some of you have mentioned men needs sex to feel love and wanted, I really want him to feel loved and cared for.
How can we talk about it, without me sounding like a slut?
*if u think by talking about sex make u feel like slut, then u are slut. U are what u think u are. Best things is when u two getting into an intimate session thru kissing, told him that u want to give him pleasure with ur mouth and hand and ask him to teach u as u want to love him even not thru pre marital sex.*

- Can we really share fantasies?
*if u open ur mouth and talk without judging, yes u can.*

Phew~
so tired answering..

[asdfghjkl]

yeah, female power! luckily i am not addicted though people say i am a pcw.. :o

[kittymae]

yeah, female power! luckily i am not addicted though people say i am a pcw.. :o

Yeah!! Totally!

Sis Lala, u said it! :) ..sometimes such things , maybe hearing how other females view it helps also.. And how they cope...

[kittymae]

Thanks Kitty Cat. Not sure if u r in total agreement with my POV but I do appaulde u for speaking out :) as a lady.

Well bro, everyone is entitled to their views. And the purpose of the forum is as u mentioned to exchange insights n comments etc.. So just giving my thoughts...

But the first step really is to speak out...which I think is what TS should do w her guy...

[curiouslala]

Yeah!! Totally!

Sis Lala, u said it! :) ..sometimes such things , maybe hearing how other females view it helps also.. And how they cope...

Lol~
Maybe bcos I'm too open? Lol~~

[Iluminati]

Lol~
Maybe bcos I'm too open? Lol~~

Hi Lala! :)
Just want to greet you Good Morning!~ ;)

[curiouslala]

Hi Lala! :)
Just want to greet you Good Morning!~ ;)

Lol~
Good morning to u too.. :)

[Trevayne]

Out of curiousity, how does one define addiction to sbf. SBF really is just online forum, and unable to sustain attention for all the free time for a long period of time.
Whenever I am online, I have several windows open check here see there, including sbf and gutter. I don't consider that as addiction myself.

[acidicavex]

I everyday visit Sbf wor.... Jialat hmm and I addicted too??!! :D

[BMW69]

I everyday visit Sbf wor.... Jialat hmm and I addicted too??!! :D

Uh oh! Maybe you're her bf? :p better watch your back bro.

[BernardFrosty]

I everyday visit Sbf wor.... Jialat hmm and I addicted too??!! :D

I seem to read ur post everyday too.....which means....I'm jialat too ?

You wanna check in somewhere together for rehabilitation ? Needs to be a place full of nice hot accessible babes to cure our dependency on SBF.

[kittymae]

I seem to read ur post everyday too.....which means....I'm jialat too ?

You wanna check in somewhere together for rehabilitation ? Needs to be a place full of nice hot accessible babes to cure our dependency on SBF.

Lols..bring my ah-di BMW along w u both too can? Happy 3-some..
Oops...came out what that did....:p:D

[acidicavex]

Lols..bring my ah-di BMW along w u both too can? Happy 3-some..
Oops...came out what that did....:p:D

wah u read liao nowaday learn how to chak ppl?? :D

[kittymae]

wah u read liao nowaday learn how to chak ppl?? :D

No ma....beginning I shy... Then I learnt from a 师父...which is u lor! Lols:D

[acidicavex]

No ma....beginning I shy... Then I learnt from a 师父...which is u lor! Lols:D

wah...... u 摆我上台

[bochapsing]

tis thread is only 1 week old and already having 170+ posts, 16,000+ views....!!!

people like ts who ask this type of question makes sbf so addictive lar...

:D:D:D

[acidicavex]

tis thread is only 1 week old and already having 170+ posts, 16,000+ views....!!!

people like ts who ask this type of question makes sbf so addictive lar...

:D:D:D

ya the problem is TS only 1 post than disappear.......... so does she even read those 170+ post

[Forsyth]

ya the problem is TS only 1 post than disappear.......... so does she even read those 170+ post

TS used the below nick to continue her topic, I was quite confused too until I read more posts into it.

Hi Brother,

Your reply is frank and such an eye-opener for me.
Seriously, the pro don’t feel sore? 6-8 times for 1 customer?

[Forsyth]

For TS herself,

the issue is a double edged sword.
1 side, this just can't be real can it ? So naive and expectant ? head shaking, you're trolling aren't you ?

The other side, pls break off with him. I ask it as if this is how my gf is treating me. Just break off with him and let him be with someone else. He may end up finding someone worse than you, but I seriously doubt it.
I skipped most everyone's post and read your replies, and they were ghastly and horrifying to read from a guy's point of view.

Your dude is totally a saint to bear with you, don't abuse him any longer. Not just the no sex, but the coming onto this forum and talking about this.

And if your bf is a hardcore sbf dude, how the fk does he not know about this topic ????!!!!!
He must be blind to miss this thread.
You mean he can't see the similarities between the situation in this thread and his life ?

So, this is all a story to pass time for you, some strange trolling.
Then again, it maybe real, after all, he must be blind, visually and mentally, to want to be with you.

[acer1]

guess he is just reading the interesting stories in this forum... why so worked up?

[acer1]

The fiance is just surfing the internet, nothing else, why so worked up over such small issue?

[acidicavex]

TS used the below nick to continue her topic, I was quite confused too until I read more posts into it.

Ooo Tks for the highlight bro.

TS ask yourself this I ain't standing on a men point but frankly if you really cannot accept what your fiancé is doing now. Than end the damn relationship and move on. Becoz why since u r that holy I foresee if u tied the knot it will be hell. Coz u will always be suspecting him of surfing and visiting all the place and all the fl.

It is not going to be healthy for u n him. And if he is into those sex service provide by the FL or HC. What make u think he will be satisfy with u in future base on your holiness I doubt you will preform like FL and let him fuck 2 to 3 times in 2 hours.

And eventually u your next complaint about him is he is addicted to sex. Frankly if you can't accept it now there is a 100% chance u will not be able to accept what he wants from u.

Are u willing to preform bj on him?
Are u willing to let him do a cunnulingus on u?
Etc.

Go think deeply if your virginity is such a important asset to you. Than make the right choice. If u say u are disappointed and since your fiancé is addicted and might be reading I think he is equally disappointed u washing dirty laundry here.

I m taking all with pinch of salts. giving u TS the benefit of doubts and just start this post to attract attention or do a newspapaer suryer.

[rushforlust]

i really dont understand how the problem lies with me?
can u explain?
guys have physical needs and if the women can not fulfill that, erm... u need to think abt ur position in his life

[Alf1977]

I just realise sammyboyfor is the owner of SBF ... and a smart one coz I saw many advertisement space being taken up all over the forum!" $$$ (I heard a famous local food forum being sold for over million.. Can't imagine the income generated from SBF...

TS, do u know the nick of your bf in here? Trace his history n the messages he posted .. Actually not all men here all for paid sex, some just come in here read free sexciting stories which r juicier and more interesting than a story book, some may come in to collect information e.g learning from other members tips in lovemaking/sex positions so that we can satisfy our partners more, while others may find here a place to talk cock with like-minded people, some replies from jokers in this forum can make one laugh off the chair, can say its free entertainment with your opinions and words read by others, maybe you think too much he is just to do some research ..

[Alf1977]

On the bright side or if you r optimistic, you can think your fiancé is making extra money by providing field reports of his "visits" in other threads.. Some times people are paid to write review but that does not mean he did it..

On the dark side, you will think all he wrote were truths .. I doubt you can accept the fact he is having sex with so many other girls.. Sad to disappoint u, think 8 out of 10 guys have sexual needs .. As u say u cannot give him sex, most likely he will hav to find it elsewhere (with other girls I mean)..

[deathnitez]

Actually I feel is common for guys to see such things is healthy. If they don't then you gonna get worried. Usually ppl with experience don't zao sey that easily as they know the rules of the trade but if those with no exp than you gonna worry cause if they go to society university and go such places for the first time they easily get poison, my friend kana after his bachelor party but that is another story. So don't paranoid is common. :cool:

[big_cock]

Guys, tell me honestly. If I were to be “open about sex” (with my ex-bfs) the way some of you have mentioned, how will you see me or treat me as YOUR girlfriend?
If I am very experienced, and now that you are my current bf, we had GREAT sex.
Wouldn’t you wonder how many guys I’ve slept with? Can you trust me?
Maybe I’ve had one-night-stands numerous times before you? Who knows it might be your NS buddy, your colleague, neighbor, cousin, your buddies? What if so “suay”, some guy we know happened to have sex with me before?


hi TS...
this is really happened in my life. I had my 1st GF in 14yo OMG she is a not "V" le lo and she was the one ask me to bonk her de lo. Till now i'm 25 and i nv try any "V" in my life and my sis-in-law was 1 of my ONS girl tat i met in club...LoLz...i told my bro abl it..b4 they get married..and my bro told me wat is past so let it pass. almost all men now can take a non "V" girl as wife lei. cos most guys now also not "V" till they married. so y ask tat much..LoLz and i tell u la...my bro till now still going for paid sex..and every year my bro will join me to BKK to have sex party.. And my sis-in-law will follow us to BKK for shopping..
i don't mind if my wife is not a "V" or countless of F bubby , BF or even ONS...but must AIDS STD free la..TS my last GF was a FL and we met cos of SBF, i also don't mind and we r together for 2years..and i know some of women user here found their love one in SBF too..
so WHAT WRONG WITH YOU...LET'S OPEN UP AND HAVE FUN:D:D
just my 2cents la...lolxxx

[Alf1977]

TS should love herself more and never trust any guy. With this in mind, you will not be so hurt if one day you realise your fiancé is a womaniser who enjoyed paid sex/ONS/casual sex.

Prepared yourself for the worst to prevent yourself from getting hurt even after your marriage.

9 out of 10 men in the world can't be trusted! Either do the above or be a player yourself.

[Goodpack]

hi TS...
this is really happened in my life. I had my 1st GF in 14yo OMG she is a not "V" le lo and she was the one ask me to bonk her de lo. Till now i'm 25 and i nv try any "V" in my life and my sis-in-law was 1 of my ONS girl tat i met in club...LoLz...i told my bro abl it..b4 they get married..and my bro told me wat is past so let it pass. almost all men now can take a non "V" girl as wife lei. cos most guys now also not "V" till they married. so y ask tat much..LoLz and i tell u la...my bro till now still going for paid sex..and every year my bro will join me to BKK to have sex party.. And my sis-in-law will follow us to BKK for shopping..
i don't mind if my wife is not a "V" or countless of F bubby , BF or even ONS...but must AIDS STD free la..TS my last GF was a FL and we met cos of SBF, i also don't mind and we r together for 2years..and i know some of women user here found their love one in SBF too..
so WHAT WRONG WITH YOU...LET'S OPEN UP AND HAVE FUN:D:D
just my 2cents la...lolxxx


You are THE man ! It is very rare to find open minded guy like you too. :p

[BBHumper]

Hello Bro,

By any chance, you are from the Settlement(Ujong Pasir, Melaka)?

Best Regards,

[Userlim]

Errr ... what happened to TS ah? No sound from her liao; you want the community's views you got it, guess you didn't expect these views.

Just go your separate ways, both you and him will be happier.

My ex was just like you; wait are you her?

I'm glad she couldn't take it and decided for us to go our own ways.

My 3 cents worth :)

[LostALau]

I know people who never have sex and stayed that way till death. There are also some who stick to one wife and never have sex with another woman because they are not sexually inclined. Still there are some who never go for another woman because they love their wife so much and do not come across another woman who can attract them.

However, these are special cases and very often happen as a result of circumstances.

If one day you chance upon a man from one of these groups, you may not fall for him because you may find him not educationally compatible, you have no feeling for him, his mind is too full of religion, or any one or more of many other reasons.

Many men are hard core sex addicts. It is how they manage their sexual cravings that matters. Some go for extra marital affairs, some visit prostitutes and places with girls despite the fact that they have a wife at home to gratify them.

On the other hands, there are many men who visit sexual sites such as sammyboy just to kill time or boredom. If your boy friend or future husband loves you, take care of you and children, spend time with you, you should not be duly alarmed if you find him spending some time on porn sites.

However, I have to admit that over indulgence in porn sites is, like other bad habits like drinking and smoking, if taken to excessiveness is not healthy.

Perhaps you should sit down and discuss the issue with you boyfriend and see if he can understand your concern.

Just a footnotes: I was once addicted to this site also because I thought I could find comradeship and brotherhood and can kill time and have fun discussing and sharing about sex matters. However, after an ugly incident I found that this site is also infested with bullies and narrow minded people. Since then I have stopped visiting this site for a long period of time and have stemmed my indulgence.
Tonight is an exception when I suddenly think of visiting to take a look.
I may not be back for another long spell, so do not attempt to reply to my mail or flame me. Thanks for your understanding.

[AirBust]

1) Can anyone here explain to me how this can happen?
Men love sex, so do some women. So whats wrong about coming to this forum? And btw, y are you here?
2) Should i marry this man? Or should i break off?
Frankly, if I am your bf. I will be asking this question. Should I marry this woman who wants everything her ways. I think enuchs, lesbians or even monks are good for you.
If he promised to change, should i believe him? I do not believe i have the power to change any man especially since he's so hardcore about sex.
Remember, you are marrying a man, a human being. If you don;t like it, thenm don't even think of marriage. I think you are a selfish lady who cares about what you want and not what your man want. Do you like it if he wants you to change?
3) What will my future be like with him?
1 think for sure, you both will not be happy
4) Why do men pay for sex?
Cos they got money to pay. Cos their wife is selfish. Cos.. the wife is you.

[DemonicSS]

1) Can anyone here explain to me how this can happen?
Men love sex, so do some women. So whats wrong about coming to this forum? And btw, y are you here?
2) Should i marry this man? Or should i break off?
Frankly, if I am your bf. I will be asking this question. Should I marry this woman who wants everything her ways. I think enuchs, lesbians or even monks are good for you.
If he promised to change, should i believe him? I do not believe i have the power to change any man especially since he's so hardcore about sex.
Remember, you are marrying a man, a human being. If you don;t like it, thenm don't even think of marriage. I think you are a selfish lady who cares about what you want and not what your man want. Do you like it if he wants you to change?
3) What will my future be like with him?
1 think for sure, you both will not be happy
4) Why do men pay for sex?
Cos they got money to pay. Cos their wife is selfish. Cos.. the wife is you.


Bravo Miss.... Bravo!!

The TS sounds alot like this other lady who rattled about similar stuff - how prim and proper they are and how sleazy their hubbies/bf is and how they can change them rather than look themselves into the mirror. I wonder if it is the same person. ANYWAY.....

TS, you are what I would describe as a fairy tale Princess. Alot of rules and regulation on what is needed to be a dating/ married couple. You find for issues that don't exist. Woe betide thou that marries you with such thinking.

I'm not advising you to be a loose woman, I'm advising you to look beyond your little flower of dreams