i am a sinful person

[leeky123]

i dun know how to start. i am feeling myself dirty and sinful. every since i start work, i have been going to HC scene for nearing two years. evrytime after i finish my session, i will feel a sense of helplessness. i dun know why am i going again and again. i came from a problematic family. i am from a low income family. unlike other counterparts, i dun have a happy childhood. my father is diagnosed with schsopheria. he will +++ to himself everytime. when he was working, he will came back home mumbling to himself , scolding people at the work place. both me, my younger brother and i will closed ourselves in our room together. we r living in two room flats. As my father has such illness, he was constantly changing jobs. i could still remeber when i was 8 yrs old, he suddenly grab one chopper and threathened to kill my mom. i was frightened as a child. he has not been working for over twenty yrs till now. we survived only by our mom. she singlehandedly bring up my bro and i. i am really useless. i think she pin her hopes on me. but i am doing such disgraceful acts behind her. since aug 2003 i frequent HC very often. as nall of u know..it is a very expensive thing to do. but i just cannot control myself. everytime i told myself not to go again...but i failed. i am totally hopeless. i dunwan to get into any illness...everytime after session i feel remorse and frightened. i am remorse as i am dirty. i frightened becos i am afraid of acting aids. i am really scared. but i dun have the guts to face it either. i know many of u will think its just that i cannot control myself. but i know that it is something to do with me mentally. i am afraid i got mental illness like my dad. i am living the days as it pass. although i have a stable job i dun cherish. although i have a gd mom i dun cherish. although i have a healthy body i dun cherish. every now and then i wan try and divert my attention to something else. i volunteer myself to help people. it help little. when i am lonely, the evil thoughts creep into me. i turn to religion to seek solace. but when i am lonely, the same thing happen. tonight i went again. it is like a visious cycle. i wana put a stop to it. i dun wan anything to happen to myself. i dun wana make my family sad. but i am a lonely person. when i am alone, nobody is there to help me. i really dun know how to go on anymore...hopefully brothers out who experience the same dilenma can share ur situation. i know i have mental prob but i dun dare to seek for professional advice. i hate myself when i go to HC and slezzy places. maybe i wana find companionship. but i think it is wrong. i ana to put a stop. hopefully u people can help me rid this evil of mine.

take care all.

[Desmond]

Bro,
Seems like uve tried ur best to get outta it, turning to religion etc...But i seriously think the only solution to help u is to get a gf or wife, hopefully damn chio one. Cos it seems to me ur not having problem controlling ur sexual desires, but rather feel lonely. Cos if uve a chiobu gf and still go to HC, then maybe uve a high sexual desire..
Cos it u really look around, abt 90% of guys visited HC or FLs, either becos they're single, unmarried or if married/attached their gfs/wifes not chio enough, thats why try f**king chiobu isnt it?^
I mean really if ur wife is Lin Zhi Ling, and give u sex everytime u wanted it, do u still wanan do something like visiting the HCs to jeopardise it?^ i doubt so. But then again, chiobus in SG a bit hard to find, if not they are damn stuck up :)

[everhard]

Bro,
chiobus in SG a bit hard to find, if not they are damn stuck up :)

Or they charge alot,haha
anyway bro u come to the wrong place to ask for help,welcome to the tikos' forum....

[kelvindartz]

well bro, like what many have said, once u r into this activity, its hard to get out. No matter how hard you try, u will still succumb to temptations.

I have a suggestion, but I'm not sure if it works, but how about turning to volunteer work, i.e. joining an association that tries to talk women out of prostitution?

[Khoratian]

Can lah bro.. if you want to.. just divert your attentio to something else. I was also a fucking horny guy. But for once i decided to stop cheong these places for at least 1 year and i did it.

Basically occupy fully your time with something you like to do loh.. that time i was siao "online games' so everyday work come back pia game, mind totally obessed with it. and... well try not to watch any porno.. they do the evilest thing for your miind. lol. I remember there's a few times (b4 i decide to quit), knn cannot sleep middle of night watch porno, end up drive to CV and ask the sister there BJ for me. lol.

For your case i think best to get a GF loh.. i know SG girls kinda not easy.. i dunno how old you are but your best bet and dun be shy is to join those 'dating' (old fashion name) it's actually just some activity for singles thing. Get to know more friends.. it's good.

About the chio wife or GF and you'll not eat wild? hehehe wrong man... i got few friend GF/wife damn chio one but they also go for FL. reason? eat shardfin everyday also will sian mah. need to try other flavours. I totally agree ehhe

[ayako]

Maybe forum administrator can consider putting up a confession thread. People can post their confession there like going to see a priest in a church. Can call 'sexoholic anonymous'. More appropriate than in this thread which will discuss only health problem including mental problems.

[i try]

hi leeky123,

perhaps the 1st thing u should do is stop comin into forum. mix with ppl who r fun yet dun go hc or anyhow spend money. and keep urself busy with work or hobbies. other alternative is to talk to ur mum or dad or bro, spend more time with them, at least tats the time u feel sinful n behave urself. do more often n u wil behave more.

[brucelee]

i dun know how to start.

i volunteer myself to help people. it help little. when i am lonely, the evil thoughts creep into me. i turn to religion to seek solace. but when i am lonely, the same thing happen. tonight i went again. it is like a visious cycle.

but i am a lonely person. when i am alone, nobody is there to help me.

maybe i wana find companionship. but i think it is wrong. i ana to put a stop. hopefully u people can help me rid this evil of mine.

take care all.


Bro you have not evil in you lah! And you hv no schizophrenia.

PPle with schizo dun even know or think they are sick!! Pple who dun pay after bonking, physically abuse the weaker sex, take advantage of the weak, xa ren fang hou........ are evil. Not you!

Bro you are just lonely. as mention several times in your post. Also you need to make some friends who you can hag out with instead of by yourself doing emotional and mental battle to yourself.

Better still, go find yourself a GF. She will zap so much time, money and energy from you, the last thing you worry about is your mental state. Plus it definately make your mom happy one. after that get married, start family and there'll plenty for you to be busy with.

so bro look up! turn around and face the sun instead of staring into your shadow.

[machoman]

leeky123, I don't know your religious beliefs.

However, according to some religions that I am aware of, sex outside of marriage is a sin and all human beings are sinful people.

I suggest that you talk to your leaders and friends in the religion that you belong to on how to overcome what in your religion is considered as sinful behaviour. I am sure that they will have the knowledge and/or experience to counsel you accordingly.

I hope that you will learn from them and practice what you are taught. :cool:

[sadsea]

hi bro leeky, i got something different for u, i intention is to help u, please don't get offended by me , here it go;
...U ASS HOLE! WHAT DO U MEAN BY DIRTY AFTER GOING HEALTH HC??!! U MEAN EVERYCHEONGSTERS HERE ARE DIRTY OR THE WOMEN ARE DIRTY, HEY , BOY! U ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO ARE DIRTY, NOT ANYONE! U ASS HOLE, U CANNOT DO ANYTHING TO UR FATHER, IF HE WANT TO SIAO LET HIM BE, UR MISSION IS TO PROTECT UR MOTHER, DON'T LET UR MOTHER BULLY BY UR FATHER, IF SITUATION VERY BAD, REPORT TO POLICE, DON'T THINK TOO MUCH LIKE AN AH QUA! HEY FUCKER, BE A REAL MAN! TOOK UP SPORT, ANYTHING ALSO CAN AS LONG AS IT IS SPORT, WEIGHT TRAINING! MARTIAL ACT! SWIMMING! RUNNING! ETC ETC, JUST DEVERT UR FOCUS FROM NOT GOING HEALTH CENTRE, BELIEVE THE POWER OF TAKING UP SPORTS, IT NOT ONLY BRING U HEALTH BUT STRENGTHEN UR MENTALITY! BELIEVE IT! DON'T GO SEEK HELP FROM GOD! GOD HAD GIVEN U EVERYTHING! U ARE ABLEBODY WITH "COMPLETE BRAIN AND COMPLETE BODY"! DON'T ACT LIKE A SICK MAN WITHOUT SICKNESS! HEY MAN! WAKE UP! BE STRONG! U ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN HELP URSELF! PEOPLE HERE CAN ONLY GIVE U ADVICE, NOT "COMPLETE HELP". COME ON, COME ON! GO FOR IT! TELL URSELF U ARE A MAN, A REAL MAN, NOT AH QUA! U CAN DO IT!

once again really sorry for that, as most advices are gentle and soft, i make a bit different but intention still to help u, please be strong and dare to change. nice day. (life is short, come on come on)

[sropau]

Brother,

you choose your own life, your own destiny!!! A lot people out there have same fate as you during their childhood ...i'm one of them too...being mentally tortured by my dad since young. But you got to be strong, you got to tell yourself...your destiny is in your own hand!!! So...do something more meanningful...take up new courses..upgrade yourself! Pick up Sports as what brother Sadsea mentioned. Get a partner! You know...someone to share your sorrow, Happiness! That's life!!!
If you still can't ctrl your lust!!! Go and seek help from doctor!!! they can help you to get rid of this habit!!! Remember!!! YOU CHOOSE YOUR OWN LIFE!!! YOUR DESTINY!!!!

Goodluck and all the best to you!!! God blessed you!! :)

[MitMit]

Bro, im not going to say much cos many bros here have given good advises. Go counselling if you need further help.

[thefirstname]

Hi Bro,

A few words from a stupid angmoh.

Going to HC or having sex is NOT a sin. Along with food, Sex is a primary urge in humans and all other animals. As long as you break no social or legal taboos in satisfying this urge, go for it.

Sex is a great stress reliever, and i bet that is the reason you keep going back to the HCs. Whenever I am stressed, feeling down - i do the same. This is NOT a sin.

Don't believe the idiots who tell you to seek solace in religion, god etc. Religion is the biggest and greatest con game ever invented. These people will look for common character traits, convince you that these are weaknesses or sins, and offer salvation - in return, they get your money, and gain power.

You feel dirty and sinful after visiting HC and having sex, because all your life, these devious priests have been putting their hooks in to your brain, by convincing you that sex is sinful and dirty. It is not, bro. Sex is the greatest thing that evolution ever invented. Go ahead and enjoy sex, and let it take you away from the extraordinary stress you must be encountering. Don't feel bad. Sex is 100% natural and it's good for you.

I was born a catholic, converted the evangelism, then (thanks to a beautiful Russian lady I fell in love with in Stuttgart) realized what utter bullshit religion is. Now I am an atheist, and I enjoy life - finally.

If you really need to have a religion, then at least convert to buddhism. From what I know, that's about the only religion that doesn't look down on you. The priests will still try to exploit you, but it's not as bad as in other superstitions (oops, i mean religions).

I guess a few religious nuts will deduct points for this post, but I dont care.

Take care bro. Yours is a hard burden to carry. And you are a great guy who has managed up to now to survive all the troubles you've faced. So don't let anyone make you feel guilty about having a small escape once in a while from the harsh reality. Go to HC and have sex, bro, and enjoy it. You deserve some pleasure once in a while. Again, it's NOT a sin. Not in my religion.

[smurfy]

Another atheist here, and proud to be one. I do believe that each person need something to believe in thus most turn to religion. I just believe in myself and that's good enough. At the end of the day, it's the person choice in choosing what he believes in and I have no problem with that :cool:

[machoman]

Another atheist here, and proud to be one. I do believe that each person need something to believe in thus most turn to religion. I just believe in myself and that's good enough. At the end of the day, it's the person choice in choosing what he believes in and I have no problem with that :cool:

smurfy, I agee with you. Let leeky and others believe or disbelieve in whatever religion they choose. Why impose our beliefs or lack of beliefs on others in this forum which is to discuss sex and related issues?

leeky asked on advice on how to stop going to Hcs cos of his beliefs, health concerns, family problems,financial problems, etc. Are we helping him to solve his perceived major problem by encouraging him to continue to so? :cool:

[ang076]

Go to HC/RLD for sex is not sinful... as long as you treated gals with respect , donate to charity can ward off sin to a certain extent.


However, I feel that this thread is not relevant to this subforum.

[fbee]

To leeky,

whether cheonging is a sin is a subjective question. We all end in this path to indirectly solve some of our subconscious problems (some of which even we don't know) - it could be loneliness and isolation, rejection, regret of some past decisions, fear, stress, the urge for power and recognition, childhood problems... these are all reflected in our current behavior in different ways. Ironically, it becomes a 'physical need' ONLY when we allow it be one. once we make cheonging a 'habit' we certainly have this 'physical need'. It's been ultimately our choice, initially.

For now, the best is that you internally accept yourself and whatever you have done first. Once you accept yourself (religious activity is one possible way, others include sports, healthy diets, learning a new skill, travel), any change becomes easier because you could then 'like' yourself better. If you don't accept yourself (which you sound like from the way you wrote), you are in the 'giving up' mode and your life is sure to spiral down (at least psychologically). You need to take a step backward and breathe, then you can think clearly and won't be guided solely by bad 'habits'.

I think just getting a GF won't solve the problem entirely, unless your GF happens to be a good listener and is not the very self-centered type. Plus, the cheonging days probably made you view women somewhat like commodities, and this could be the root of an unhealthy relationship in the future. I think you should try solve the fundamental problem first a bit more before getting a GF, by actively talking to friends (you at least have one or two rite?), going to church or temple if you like to, reading up on non-work hobbyish stuff. There are plenty of stuff to do besides HC or FLs. Spend time with family and good people you have met, not with FLs or the paid girls, who just take your money and laugh at you at the back. "If you want to be rewarded in life you have to FACE IT directly and SEEK TO TAKE CONTROL." Going back to your old bad habit is merely an escape and is a sign of defeat. The turning point is always tough but you should hang in there.. ;)

[ct75]

My Diagnosis is the following...

1) U are addicted to sex hence the guilt felt after a bonking session.....
2) Having a gf will solve nothing cos u will end up treating her like a bonking object
3) U may be suffering from depression which I seriously advise you to seek help for....
4) What some bros say is rite.. try to stop coming here into this forum, avoid porn... they give u the weirdest ideas.
5) Try doing something to keep you occupied like exercise and all
6) Im not a very religious fellow but if it helps u to pray then go ahead.... but please dont go thinking rubbish like GOD is going to punish u for your sins and all.... God if he or she is as merciful as what all religions say will be alot more forgiving and understanding than we idiots.... The punishment part is most likely religious leaders trying to scare their flock into total obediance.....
7) Finally dont go do charity cos u feel it as an escape... do it cos you want to do it.

[worldwidealf]

dude, i understand how you feel

you probably need to talk to a psychologist to get help
otherwise you can't solve the problem

but welcome to chat with me if you want

[glfingers]

It's a good start that you know you are suffering. Suffering exists for everyone. It's also good that you want the suffering to stop. I have good news for you. The suffering CAN stop. The suffering stops when you don't crave for things that are superficial, temporary and unimportant to your life.
The suffering lessens when you accept that your suffering is the result of your own ignorance. Once that ignorance is corrected,( ie you get smarter) you will feel better.

The next time you need to for a prostitute. Remember these three words: IT WILL PASS.
Don't suppress the urge. It will resurface anyway. Just understand that, even if you don't fuck a chicken, your urge will pass. Once you trust that it will pass, there's little point in wasting your money.

These three words (IT WILL PASS) has been working for me so far.