Do you regret marrying?

[parrotkid]

Do you regret getting married?
Why not and why yes?

[Kuan Aik Hong]

Yes.....marriage life is totally different from pak tor life.....full of commitments and conflict.. You have to integrate to 2 different family lifestyles and upbringings.

[parrotkid]

With the high cost of living in sg, it brings about a lot of stress in a marriage which is unhealthy. Do you feel that this govt has caused divorces that are unintended? I certainly feel so.

[Johnbass]

Yes.....marriage life is totally different from pak tor life.....full of commitments and conflict.. You have to integrate to 2 different family lifestyles and upbringings.
Means you grow up liao... Got more responsibilities to shoulder.
:D


With the high cost of living in sg, it brings about a lot of stress in a marriage which is unhealthy. Do you feel that this govt has caused divorces that are unintended? I certainly feel so.

Means you haven't grow up... You are still someone's responsibility.
:D

[Greendevil]

parrotkid, before getting marry, the road ahead is clear. high cost of living, putting up with both side of families and living habit. when things goes wrong, you may be right that some of the environment factors is not favorable, but how many times in life you get everythings or everyone supporting your cause. you should reflect what you could have done to make things better. if you put in your best fight and yet it doesnt turn out well, at least you tried. So have you TRY yet?

[parrotkid]

Tried very hard but when people around you influence your wife and there are so many 小人 in your life, one can only do so much.

[Greendevil]

parrot, maybe you not trying hard enuf. also marriage is abt 2 persons. if you are the only one trying, you bond to fail. and eventually if you want to choose to divorce, it your choice, but dont blame the environment, those are only noise. Both parties will need to take responsibility. i can only say both of you are not ready of marriage.

also, be a man, make your decision fast. dont wait until there are kids then kpkb even more and kill innocent child future

[topcook1]

Nowadays man will always lose out to woman...u must totally give up your pride and obey a woman. This is formula will always makes the marriage last.

[Castrol]

Regrets, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption. :D

[parrotkid]

Nowadays man will always lose out to woman...u must totally give up your pride and obey a woman. This is formula will always makes the marriage last.

Why must we obey women?

[conly]

Regrets, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption. :D

I did it my.....way..:D

My pov,
marriage is not for everyone, esp in tis age where pple emphasize on individualism.
Never force it. Never marry for d wrong reasons.

[Metzloff]

Yes, I do.

[real_king]

Yes, I do.

now thats an anwser.

[phantom777]

NO I don't!

[HCKing]

if my wife is bad - yes

if my wife is good - no

life is abt mixing with the right ppl. if u r able to do so then every aspect of yr life will be positive. if nt then negative. simple as that. unless u r planning to be a loner and ONS and cheong for the rest of yr life.

[coolsuper]

Yes, you are right

if my wife is bad - yes

if my wife is good - no

life is abt mixing with the right ppl. if u r able to do so then every aspect of yr life will be positive. if nt then negative. simple as that. unless u r planning to be a loner and ONS and cheong for the rest of yr life.

[bbmapple]

Ts, so u regret or not ?? Why yes, why no??

[loneyheart]

love become part of t responsibility .... care for each other but getting more n more lonely inside as time passes by .... well its a commitment tat last till t day I passed

[milfmilf]

money is another very super important factor when live together

貧賤夫妻百事哀

[cqueen]

Do you feel that this govt has caused divorces that are unintended? I certainly feel so.[/QUOTE]

I certainly feel so too that you blame everyone for your unhappiness without taking ownership of your own situations.

[LeeHsienLoong]

I have had 2 wives.
What do you think?
:o

[ColdBlood99]

Means you grow up liao... Got more responsibilities to shoulder.
:D


Means you haven't grow up... You are still someone's responsibility.
:D

so you grow up liao hor? wifi must be very happy

[maxsee]

I will never understand why guys even get married nowadays especially when woman charter is totally against them...every guys that I know once they reach mid to late 40s regret getting married...To them it is like a responsibility in the end......So much freedom if you are single...:D:D:D

[jackson555]

takes no hands to clap. no point having a one-sided communication. think whether have you really tried retaining the relationship? don't let ego come in the way by asking yourself why must you always listen to the woman. once you start thinking that way then no hope liao,must see bigger picture. all the best! :D

[HCKing]

I will never understand why guys even get married nowadays especially when woman charter is totally against them...every guys that I know once they reach mid to late 40s regret getting married...To them it is like a responsibility in the end......So much freedom if you are single...:D:D:D

there r always 2 sides of the same coin. most if not all women, after dating for sometime, will start pestering or pressuring their men to marry them. if the man shows no sign of marrying them, off they go. also parents and relatives will contribute more pressure as you aged. plus the need of yr own HDB flat. also seeing yr kakis having families and children and bochup u will make u feel lonelier.

so the best of both world is still having 1 wife and 1 mistress. :D

[maxsee]

Not all women need marriage...But that is on the basis that you have to be financially extremely well off...If that is so, a lot of them out there actually don't mind being with you without marriage...:D:D:D

[Fuckster]

Having a wife is equivalent of owning a car, totally not advisable, the reasons are as follow;

1) Paying extremely high COE (during courtship, things that you have bought for her, expensive dinners that you spent on her etc. When you propose to her, you will have to bear the wedding expenses, and not forgetting the dam expensive stupid wedding rings, wedding album etc, worst still if she's from a traditional family, you still have to fork out tons of money just to buy her over from her parents.)

2) High maintenance (after buying her over, you will have to spend a big portion of your pay check taking care of her and your kids as well as tons of bills that makes you feel suffocated etc. After paying so much, sometimes she allows you to drive her and sometime not, depending on her mood. WTF?)

3) Depreciation (Value of your wife gone down the hill when she slowly transforms from a sexy young lady to a freaking nagging old hag year by year.)

4) Compulsory renewal of COE (at least for a car you can get back some scrap value by scraping it after 10 years and buy a new one but as for your wife you can't scrap her, you are forced to keep her as long as she's alive and carry on paying for the high maintenance fees. Suppose you insist of scraping her, the court will still demand you to pay for her monthly maintenance fees.)

Morale of the story, there are so many fancy cars for rental at a very affordable price in the market without having to worry about COE and maintenance, why must you make yourself suffer by buying a car which you are force to keep it even if it turns rusty and also having to shoulder on the financial commitment for your entire life?

So far I always rent a car if I feels like driving and I also get to drive different cars with different engine performance. No way will I ever buy one and stick to it for the rest of my life. :D

[Metzloff]

I read somewhere that " if it flies, floats or fucks - it's always cheaper to rent than to buy";)

[Greenfrog]

I read somewhere that " if it flies, floats or fucks - it's always cheaper to rent than to buy";)

Very true!

[HCKing]

there r always 2 sides of the same coin. most if not all women, after dating for sometime, will start pestering or pressuring their men to marry them. if the man shows no sign of marrying them, off they go. also parents and relatives will contribute more pressure as you aged. plus the need of yr own HDB flat. also seeing yr kakis having families and children and bochup u will make u feel lonelier.

so the best of both world is still having 1 wife and 1 mistress. :D

got zapped by one balless creep for my comment here. aiyah zapper if u don't agree y don't u state your point of view openly so we know what u think? no balls to post reply? :D:rolleyes:

[atee]

Very true!

Atee upz :)

[real_king]

got zapped by one balless creep for my comment here. aiyah zapper if u don't agree y don't u state your point of view openly so we know what u think? no balls to post reply? :D:rolleyes:the zapper scared his points not enough to exchange bak kwa. lolx

[discordpiggy]

the zapper scared his points not enough to exchange bak kwa. lolx

u regret right?! but dont dare say and gei gei talk about bak kwa?! :rolleyes:

TS i regret not getting married, because i have to pay more tax as single now! :D

[real_king]

u regret right?! but dont dare say and gei gei talk about bak kwa?! :rolleyes:

TS i regret not getting married, because i have to pay more tax as single now! :D im allergic to bak kwa.
why you stalk me izzit?
you need me sign on your dotted line huh?:p

[HCKing]

the zapper scared his points not enough to exchange bak kwa. lolx

wahahaha good one bro. gonna up u when i recover later. :D

[topcook1]

I read somewhere that " if it flies, floats or fucks - it's always cheaper to rent than to buy";)

True..no depreciation and no commitments.

[discordpiggy]

im allergic to bak kwa.
why you stalk me izzit?
you need me sign on your dotted line huh?:pcloset indian I thot u love pork?! U stalKING me!!! Cum lor I dare u sign on it!!! Then I can MWB - married with benefits, tau jiak outside with tax rebates! :rolleyes::D

[real_king]

closet indian I thot u love pork?! U stalKING me!!! Cum lor I dare u sign on it!!! Then I can MWB - married with benefits, tau jiak outside with tax rebates! :rolleyes::D
i love everything. especially those bacon bits. lolx. :D

[discordpiggy]

i love everything. especially those bacon bits. lolx. :D

so u actually use sbf points quietly to exchange for bacon bak kwa isit?! :eek:

moon cake festival soon... can exchange for moon cake now?! :rolleyes:

[PPGirl]

so u actually use sbf points quietly to exchange for bacon bak kwa isit?! :eek:

moon cake festival soon... can exchange for moon cake now?! :rolleyes:

7th month hungry ghost 1st..:D

What if both families not much family members n i dun think there will be much conflicts?

Though im not married but i think being together is more like being supportive, compromising each other.
What makes u consider from dating to married life?
Its like taking your love life to another step/plan forward to shoulder greater responsibilities.

[NewPapaSan]

i will regret after and if i get a wife.

[real_king]

7th month hungry ghost 1st..:D

What if both families not much family members n i dun think there will be much conflicts?

Though im not married but i think being together is more like being supportive, compromising each other.
What makes u consider from dating to married life?
Its like taking your love life to another step/plan forward to shoulder greater responsibilities.

MARRIAGE is a natural progression. dont take it by force.:D

[PPGirl]

MARRIAGE is a natural progression. dont take it by force.:D

Let nature take its course ;)

[discordpiggy]

7th month hungry ghost 1st..:D

Yeah! 7th is a happening month in cultural aspect! :D

[discordpiggy]

MARRIAGE is a natural progression. dont take it by force.:D

force?! let me force you to STOP IT! :rolleyes:

[real_king]

force?! let me force you to STOP IT! :rolleyes:

force? dont force me to stop looking for u
:D

[ChinHo]

Hi TS

No regret. I feel bore to live alone in a house.

Do you regret getting married?
Why not and why yes?

[porscheclub]

With the high cost of living in sg, it brings about a lot of stress in a marriage which is unhealthy. Do you feel that this govt has caused divorces that are unintended? I certainly feel so.

So, you blaming the govt for your divorce?

I don't like the govt either but the marriage is our own making & breaking. Deal with the cost or move somewhere cheaper. A good wife will help you to save money & not spend it so if she does not understand this & insist on a lifestyle beyond your means then you married the wrong woman!

I have had 2 wives.
What do you think?
:o

The keyword is "had" :D

I read somewhere that " if it flies, floats or fucks - it's always cheaper to rent than to buy";)

I like this mate.

got zapped by one balless creep for my comment here. aiyah zapper if u don't agree y don't u state your point of view openly so we know what u think? no balls to post reply?

Agree & upped you cos had mistresses before :D

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Having a wife & having a lover r 2 diff things altogether. Many r confused thus they bundle them up together as the same thing & gets fucked! MANY
I hv written this many yrs ago, cant remember exactly word for word but here it is again.

Wife:
U marry a woman who has integrity
U marry a woman not because she's sexy, pretty or because she's the best fuck u ever had
U marry a woman because of her sense of responsibility
U marry a woman because she knows how to plan for her future & urs not just live a day at a time
U marry a woman who has no yearnings for a materialistic life
U marry a woman who wants to SETTLE DOWN not because of pressure but because she wants to move on to the next phase in her life
U marry woman who supports & listens to u unconditionally

Lover:
Best fuck of ur life
Always there to be wild n make u happy
Says tks when receiving presents instead of making a serious point of PLEASE DONT WASTE MONEY
Suggest where to go to be happy
Suggest u try new clothes, cars, ex restaurants, wallets, getaways etc
Princess mentally

Many still don't get this. Then they fail cos they hooked the wrong fish & then proclaim marriage is madness.

Seriously?
Do not complain when u go fishing & u cant get a fish. Hv u ever asked urself if u fished at the rite spot & used the rite baits?

PS: There's no such thing as marrying too early or too late due age. The only thing is r u matured & stable enuff mentally & financially to get married. Age has nothing to do wif it. I married my wife at 25(she was 24). She's very matured for her age. Her youngest sis, just hit 40 this yr, still single, U grad, but hugs dolls all around the house & bed like those babies wif their pillows. Wat do u tink!

[DO_YOU_BJ]

got zapped by one balless creep for my comment here. aiyah zapper if u don't agree y don't u state your point of view openly so we know what u think? no balls to post reply? :D:rolleyes:

PS bro, unable to upz u. Upz b4 liao years ago:(

[HCKing]

PS bro, unable to upz u. Upz b4 liao years ago:(

no prob at all bro. how time flies i rem seeing that advice of yours few yrs ago in matters of the heart. still seeing many fellows in agony over love with their fav WL after many yrs. most guys just unrealisticly expect to have the best of both world.:D

[DO_YOU_BJ]

no prob at all bro. how time flies i rem seeing that advice of yours few yrs ago in matters of the heart. still seeing many fellows in agony over love with their fav WL after many yrs. most guys just unrealisticly expect to have the best of both world.:D

Cycle of life. Old timers ORD new players enlist. Just like the one who say 1 in 10 has heart lol:D

[JohnSmithSenior]

I will never understand why guys even get married nowadays especially when woman charter is totally against them...every guys that I know once they reach mid to late 40s regret getting married...To them it is like a responsibility in the end......So much freedom if you are single...:D:D:D

I agree a lot with this. Our legal rights are so few. It is similar to South Korea, except the opposite.

Although the government says that they are relooking the law. Time to remove the gender bias...

[discordpiggy]

force? dont force me to stop looking for u
: D

wahrao! u beCUM blur_king liao!!! :eek:

I interpret for you: don't force me to stop looking for u

meaning: do not force you to stop looking for me. muahahhah!!!! no one is stopping you... PUR-LEASE go ahead to stop looking for me!!! :p

blur_king! blur_king! blur_king!

wakakakakaa!!! ;)

*walks away laughing in stitches! and rolling on the floor laughing out loud! :D

[phantom777]

Having a wife & having a lover r 2 diff things altogether. Many r confused thus they bundle them up together as the same thing & gets fucked! MANY
I hv written this many yrs ago, cant remember exactly word for word but here it is again.



3 thumbs up for this... truly agree n thats y we r married but still cheongsters

wives for life man!

eh how to upz? i cant find the tab!

OK UPZZz u already bro!

[happywoody]

PS: There's no such thing as marrying too early or too late due age. The only thing is r u matured & stable enuff mentally & financially to get married. Age has nothing to do wif it. I married my wife at 25(she was 24). She's very matured for her age. Her youngest sis, just hit 40 this yr, still single, U grad, but hugs dolls all around the house & bed like those babies wif their pillows. Wat do u tink!

well said bro ..

btw, your 40 yo SIL still available? :D:D:D

[Captainoceania77]

Having a wife is equivalent of owning a car, totally not advisable, the reasons are as follow;

1) Paying extremely high COE (during courtship, things that you have bought for her, expensive dinners that you spent on her etc. When you propose to her, you will have to bear the wedding expenses, and not forgetting the dam expensive stupid wedding rings, wedding album etc, worst still if she's from a traditional family, you still have to fork out tons of money just to buy her over from her parents.)

2) High maintenance (after buying her over, you will have to spend a big portion of your pay check taking care of her and your kids as well as tons of bills that makes you feel suffocated etc. After paying so much, sometimes she allows you to drive her and sometime not, depending on her mood. WTF?)

3) Depreciation (Value of your wife gone down the hill when she slowly transforms from a sexy young lady to a freaking nagging old hag year by year.)

4) Compulsory renewal of COE (at least for a car you can get back some scrap value by scraping it after 10 years and buy a new one but as for your wife you can't scrap her, you are forced to keep her as long as she's alive and carry on paying for the high maintenance fees. Suppose you insist of scraping her, the court will still demand you to pay for her monthly maintenance fees.)

Morale of the story, there are so many fancy cars for rental at a very affordable price in the market without having to worry about COE and maintenance, why must you make yourself suffer by buying a car which you are force to keep it even if it turns rusty and also having to shoulder on the financial commitment for your entire life?

So far I always rent a car if I feels like driving and I also get to drive different cars with different engine performance. No way will I ever buy one and stick to it for the rest of my life. :D


Very true indeed...

[sentence]

There's always 2 sides to the coin. Those who are within it (marriage) would want to get out whilst those who are outside it, wants to jump in. This is reality.

[4getful]

I will never understand why guys even get married nowadays especially when woman charter is totally against them...every guys that I know once they reach mid to late 40s regret getting married...To them it is like a responsibility in the end......So much freedom if you are single...:D:D:D

Sometimes, i dunnoe the wc in the marriage r doing more harm than good or doing good more than harm. With so much bias, a family can be easily broken down. Wonder is the recent divorce rate up has anything to do with all those underage sex or bribery sex. Juz couldn‘t believe a woman who got married can straight declare handicap, cannot work n muz be given maintenance fee till she dies. I think i feel that it is the best n wise n profitable investment ever heard of.

[sunhuan-con]

Regret like hell.........

[sunhuan-con]

9 out of 10 couples all regret.. Even my mum told me that if goes back time she wont marry....

[maxsee]

Wow..my mum say the same thing woh....:eek::eek::eek:

Anyway marriage is the worse investment for a guy and the best investment a woman can get as long as woman charter exist.....

[sunhuan-con]

Wow..my mum say the same thing woh....:eek::eek::eek:

Anyway marriage is the worse investment for a guy and the best investment a woman can get as long as woman charter exist.....

But many guys still afraid of lonely keep on saying when old still has a companion to take care. To my opinion money is most important and reliable in this modern society.It cant betray u.

[4getful]

Wow..my mum say the same thing woh....:eek::eek::eek:

Anyway marriage is the worse investment for a guy and the best investment a woman can get as long as woman charter exist.....

I think Wc protect only some women who r well inform n daring. N hit hard on good innocent men. Some sincere good women i see them let the husband eat until jialat jialat, some dun even get maintenancee fee n jin charm, work n feed kids. As for some slut, go for some foreigner men end up play until rot n dump, husband juz disappear n left the kid behind for the poor women. For me, I think wc r juz being expliot n maybe do more harm n so many divorce.

[sentence]

Frankly, if I can rewind the time, I would not have got married. Reason: my wife couldn't conceive and thus I cannot form a family nucleus. Now I see my neighbor with 3 children, I feel so happy for them. Yes, they may be rowdy, but still, they form a happy family together.

[BlessMySoul]

To my opinion money is most important and reliable in this modern society.It cant betray u.

My friend just said to me the similar thing last week :o

[Absolute]

But many guys still afraid of lonely keep on saying when old still has a companion to take care. To my opinion money is most important and reliable in this modern society.It cant betray u.

Who take care of who?

Don't always assume that you are the one being taken care of.

[FlyingCircus]

Who take care of who?

Don't always assume that you are the one being taken care of.

This is very true indeed

[Waffa]

Nowadays man will always lose out to woman...u must totally give up your pride and obey a woman. This is formula will always makes the marriage last.

Good words man, Amen to that! : )
But the truth on that is deeper then this actually, and perhaps it is so that we all are not destined to find out what is the point of woman and why they are superior to man, as long we sleep around and make good for woman in heart giving them spiritual high place in our mind as well, we might be actually even forgiven.
But the women is the wisdom of world and can only get man as high as high man sees woman to be, and then this life lessons will be applied that is right for this state of heart and mind man chooses to lock him self.
Some choose to take psychedelics spiritual religious way with a woman and then ALL new picture opens, what She can reveal to you (it took me many years and way more then few tries with plants to get near to realization what we are dealing with but in beginning i loosed out and wasted exploration as was using other wrong things and thinkings and did not go straight to woman with trust.. so it took many years exploring and even scaring my self.. but as far i can see it was WAY worth it, for the deep meanings females can radiate now to me, even most basic ones... its so .. like they are from another world in some way once we open our eyes what might going on in world of man, .:. and woman)

In short what i want to say, that in these moments you can see, that One women on that moment can be all the world there is, its like something be on this world is coming from here who knows all your thought directions and forgives.

Thank you!

[Johnbass]

Frankly, if I can rewind the time, I would not have got married. Reason: my wife couldn't conceive and thus I cannot form a family nucleus. Now I see my neighbor with 3 children, I feel so happy for them. Yes, they may be rowdy, but still, they form a happy family together.

You envy them, They also envy you...
More importantly is to make the best out from what we have bah.
:cool:

[yangguo]

Frankly, if I can rewind the time, I would not have got married. Reason: my wife couldn't conceive and thus I cannot form a family nucleus. Now I see my neighbor with 3 children, I feel so happy for them. Yes, they may be rowdy, but still, they form a happy family together.

Stop blaming it on your wife. Becoming a parent is a calling.

Well if you wanted so much to form a family nucleus, you can go and adopt a child.

There is nothing out there to stop you from doing so.

You envy them, They also envy you...
More importantly is to make the best out from what we have bah.
:cool:

Wow.. this is the most meaningful words I have ever heard from you! Thumb Up! :D:p

[Greenfrog]

Frankly, if I can rewind the time, I would not have got married. Reason: my wife couldn't conceive and thus I cannot form a family nucleus. Now I see my neighbor with 3 children, I feel so happy for them. Yes, they may be rowdy, but still, they form a happy family together.

Bro having a child does not equate to happiness. Sometimes it is fate.. i mean if you believe in fate.
Your neighbour might envy you for all you know..

[maxsee]

I have to say...there is no point in getting married if the woman cannot bear children...Might as well just maintain a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship if that is so...After all in the event of a divorce, even without kids...we guys still have to pay out tons of $$$ for alimony which is lame....:D:D:D

[sentence]

Stop blaming it on your wife. Becoming a parent is a calling.

Well if you wanted so much to form a family nucleus, you can go and adopt a child.

There is nothing out there to stop you from doing so.

An adopted child is never as good as your own biological child. Also, in Singapore, there are too many red tapes to go through for an adoption, not to mention the waiting period. Besides, I would very much prefer to bequeath my assets to my own biological child, even if she's a daughter. During our younger years, we did thought of IVF but the cost was too high and also cannot co-pay with CPF (at that time). Now that we have the finances, she's already well beyond the safe child bearing age, especially for a first born.

Bro having a child does not equate to happiness. Sometimes it is fate.. i mean if you believe in fate.
Your neighbour might envy you for all you know..
I am not asking for many, but at least 1 so that I can bequeath my wealth to him/her upon my demise. Don't think I'm asking for too much right?


I have to say...there is no point in getting married if the woman cannot bear children...Might as well just maintain a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship if that is so...After all in the event of a divorce, even without kids...we guys still have to pay out tons of $$$ for alimony which is lame....:D:D:D
Very true indeed, not to mention also the frequent nagging from the wife.

[peekaboo]

A very good question, I suppose. What goes around comes around. In the past men is like king. Now it switch sides. Women now like king. Just too bad we r all born in this era. Maybe another 10,000 yrs will switch sides. LOL

I am forced to get married by my x MIL, if not x wife will jump down.
Really regret marrying.

[solarflare]

Alot of parents generation say they regret marry... yet they never divorce at all.

[maxsee]

If any guys out there ever want woman to listen to them...simply refuse to marry her....you will be the king till the day she ever decided to walk out of your life la....:D:D:D

[sentence]

If any guys out there ever want woman to listen to them...simply refuse to marry her....you will be the king till the day she ever decided to walk out of your life la....:D:D:D
The trouble is before marriage, man is king I agree, but after marriage, wife takes over that role. And it will be more to the disadvantage for the man after marriage because of the Women's Charter, indirectly allowing the wife to be more bold, daring and demanding. Sigh.....

[maxsee]

You have the choice not to marry her and be king forever la unless you scared she walk out of the relationship la....:D:D:D

[Orthodoxy]

i guess constant communication with ur spouse is impt. miscommunication always lead to problems

[waitinggame]

agreed. i would always try to mediate things before it gets blown out of proportion. not worth it.

[Greenfrog]

i guess constant communication with ur spouse is impt. miscommunication always lead to problems

Sometimes when u married the wrong one, communication is futile.:(

[peekaboo]

Sometimes when u married the wrong one, communication is futile.:(

Whether is the right one or the wrong one, it does not bothers communications. The problems usually occurs when its one way communications. Typical piak n piak style.

[milkandcookies]

As much as we know that communications is important, please do it before you get married and not after. By then, you'll know if you both are suited for each other.

It'll do both the guy and the girl good.

[zan888]

Communication is over rated to solve serious problems IMHO as how to change feelings by talking? Sometimes trying to talk it out results in quarrels. Let's say a guy loves bj but wife don't like, can solve by talking? Wife will say but you know I don't like before we got married. Hubby say I thought after we married, you will love me more so will do it to make me happy? So sometimes talking just can't solve problems. Think relationship is more about compromise because you love the other person. If no love, no amount of talking will help.

[july3rd]

Communication is over rated to solve serious problems IMHO as how to change feelings by talking? Sometimes trying to talk it out results in quarrels. Let's say a guy loves bj but wife don't like, can solve by talking? Wife will say but you know I don't like before we got married. Hubby say I thought after we married, you will love me more so will do it to make me happy? So sometimes talking just can't solve problems. Think relationship is more about compromise because you love the other person. If no love, no amount of talking will help.

Yes! I agree with you zan!

More on compromising each other.
Like my friends for example, most of then are like salve at home.

Fetching kids and wife home, reach home need to do housework at night need to wife sleep he needs to look after babies if they cries. Weekend, wife go out with friends he need to be at home look after kids. But I guess my friend is doing it without any complaints. Plus, this is very common in Singapore recently.

[zan888]

Yes! I agree with you zan!

More on compromising each other.
Like my friends for example, most of then are like salve at home.

Fetching kids and wife home, reach home need to do housework at night need to wife sleep he needs to look after babies if they cries. Weekend, wife go out with friends he need to be at home look after kids. But I guess my friend is doing it without any complaints. Plus, this is very common in Singapore recently.

There are many metro sexual guys these days who are prepared to help out with housework , be driver ,take care of kids, etc compared to last time. Parents expect their boys to be independent but pamper their daughters. Those gals who are pampered generally make poor wives, no offence. After a while the guy also get tired of carrying most of the burden and they may be tempted to find a better or more understanding life partner. Divorce is bloody messy esp for guys. For guys best not to get married unless shotgun lol.

[july3rd]

There are many metro sexual guys these days who are prepared to help out with housework , be driver ,take care of kids, etc compared to last time. Parents expect their boys to be independent but pamper their daughters. Those gals who are pampered generally make poor wives, no offence. After a while the guy also get tired of carrying most of the burden and they may be tempted to find a better or more understanding life partner. Divorce is bloody messy esp for guys. For guys best not to get married unless shotgun lol.

Oh well, maybe the guys does it willingly? Despite I know there are a number of guys unwillingly cause their SO does not allow them to engage a maid. Due to privacy issues and some female employer are very particulars :p

I'm not sure does that drain their relationship. Maybe guys here may have some thoughts on it.

[Greenfrog]

I think you need to know your partner to a certain degree before getting married.

Friends around me tend to get married around after knowing he/she for several months. One year is certainly too short to know someone.. Minus the honeymoon period which is the first few months of a relationship, you barely know the person.

[KaniNababe]

Sometimes when u married the wrong one, communication is futile.:(

U r spot on Froggie!

[july3rd]

Her youngest sis, just hit 40 this yr, still single, U grad, but hugs dolls all around the house & bed like those babies wif their pillows. Wat do u tink!

Omg! I don't hug dolls around the house but I have many hello kitty on my bed -.-

Not married!

I guess married is just another level up for a relationship to move on.

But that partner must be someone you can communicate, mutual understanding, can trust upon. In here sex is also very impt in marriage so something that need to add on to the list too :p

Getting married is getting a partner hand in hand to walk the path in life together.

Together going thru all bitter and sweet stuff at the end of the day there someone listen to your granny or grandpa old stories.. Or your repeats cold joke and that person still will smile at you. Before you say something.

[topcook1]

Although I am a divorcee , I dont regret on my past marriage because it helps me to become a more matured and better man. Guess it helps me to realized that marriage is not easy management as it takes 2 hands to clap. Conclusion is that I not suitable for marriage with local woman as I am a freedom lover and so called "mama boy"..........

[acidicavex]

Although I am a divorcee , I dont regret on my past marriage because it helps me to become a more matured and better man. Guess it helps me to realized that marriage is not easy management as it takes 2 hands to clap. Conclusion is that I not suitable for marriage with local woman as I am a freedom lover and so called "mama boy"..........

Bro the term "mama boy" will scare most local away however i do notice one particular range of ladies like mama boys especially when the mama boys are younger than them.

Of coz very rare and hard to find.

[topcook1]

Bro the term "mama boy" will scare most local away however i do notice one particular range of ladies like mama boys especially when the mama boys are younger than them.

Of coz very rare and hard to find.

I noticed that local woman are quite selfish ...they can be filial towards their parents and guys cant get too close to their own parent...or else branded as mama boy...I had seen many of my friends seldom get in touch of their family and always incline to the wife family....Sigh...and thats why local girls nowadays prefer AMDK....

[Rocode]

:(Do you regret getting married?
Why not and why yes?

I cant Say.. cause I Was Never married..

Just Have A Daughter..

Cause My Ex-Partner Still Young at Heart (30 *This year* Young My Arse)

Still Go Touring Etc.. So I said My peace to her Free Spirit..

But Sometimes I Wish i had A Wife Though..

Hard To Take care Of My Apartment & Juggle Paternal Duties/Schedule..

Even cooking Is A Challenge Sometimes

[lorddrakez]

Marriage must work hard one.

[topcook1]

Some local girls in the dating website stated no "mama boys"and other conditions...sigh...

[urgg]

I noticed that local woman are quite selfish ...they can be filial towards their parents and guys cant get too close to their own parent...or else branded as mama boy...I had seen many of my friends seldom get in touch of their family and always incline to the wife family....Sigh...and thats why local girls nowadays prefer AMDK....

Bro i totally agree with you. Im married and to be frank i don't feel as happy when i am single. Women always have the upper hand, when they are angry, they can be very devilish!! They will make you live hell... Sorry to all the lady in SBF but this is what i feel.

Guys thinking of marrying your gf now think carefully first. Make sure she is the one.. Good temper, not selfish, not petty, etc etc.. i duno singapore have anot la.. haha.. This is a lifetime decision. Dun Regret.. like me... nb.. Once you married her, you have to take care of her no matter what she does to u.. it is a comittment.

[(bossy)]

Do you feel that this govt has caused divorces that are unintended? I certainly feel so.[/QUOTE]

Not feel, it is the truth.young woman are taught to behave like man since young and in school.taught to compete,fight,talk loudly and aggressively.

young woman today are so busy pursuing careers,they are barely distinguishable from males.many suffer from personality deficit disorder.they may looks like woman but they have little personality,style or charm.they can't be man and they don't know how to be women.

young man are taught to judge woman on appearance and ignore the qualities necessary for a successful marriage.the media presents beautiful woman as goddess.

the divorce rates is high because woman aren't equipped to compete in the rat race/hunter and be wives and mothers at the same time.natural instincts tells them marriage and children but the society and feminism tells them another.they have been sabotaged.

woman have been brainwashed to usurp the male role and abandon the female.the resulting conflict and confusion leads to a breakdown of marriage and family.

woman used to be essentially different from man, her focus was the home and children.her love, spirit, and warmth made them a refuge and harbour for a man.her energy balanced his energy.

[kongkek]

With the high cost of living in sg, it brings about a lot of stress in a marriage which is unhealthy. Do you feel that this govt has caused divorces that are unintended? I certainly feel so.

Blame yourself please. Don't politicise this.

[urgg]

Blame yourself please. Don't politicise this.

Chill bro, relax.. ehh.. u from thunder party?

[Johnbass]

Reminds me of this recent report about the JC1 girl who wrote in to say her school's relationship workshop was too bigotry and sexist.
http://www.channelnewsasia.com/mobile/singapore/hci-relationships/1405812.html

Think our education system and society is making everyone too opinionated and competitive, regardless of gender.

There are both Pros and Cons.
Lazy to elaborate.
There are peaceful ways to solve relationship differences.
But also can't stereotype all women to be submissive homemaker right?

Both men and women should learn to fight for their own rights and happiness.
And hopefully they will find happy endings together.

And I've not touched on relationship management between same sexes.
That's another story.
:D

[sunhuan-con]

Bro i totally agree with you. Im married and to be frank i don't feel as happy when i am single. Women always have the upper hand, when they are angry, they can be very devilish!! They will make you live hell... Sorry to all the lady in SBF but this is what i feel.

Guys thinking of marrying your gf now think carefully first. Make sure she is the one.. Good temper, not selfish, not petty, etc etc.. i duno singapore have anot la.. haha.. This is a lifetime decision. Dun Regret.. like me... nb.. Once you married her, you have to take care of her no matter what she does to u.. it is a comittment.

Most of my friends has the same experience. They told me to remain as single better. Too much commitments and always have to listen to OC command. Lost pride as a man.

[SoulRift]

Yes.I fell in love and married an abusive and selfish person whom i thought will change.My life is destroyed:(

[(bossy)]

Chill bro, relax.. ehh.. u from thunder party?

Fuck the thunder party, this coming election be prepared to lose a few more GRCs.

[july3rd]

. woman used to be essentially different from man, her focus was the home and children.her love, spirit, and warmth made them a refuge and harbour for a man.her energy balanced his energy.

In the Past woman stay at home, dependent of man.

If given a choice, I think if the woman can be stay home mother look after kids, look after house without worrying of money.. Hubby pampers. Got spare cash feel secure.
Confirm will be focus on what you relate above.

If you want a woman to work, to manage a home, to raise a the kids and still cook for man cannot make any decision and still need to service man at night plus no salary it is worst than a maid. :p

But no deny, these days woman are more on aggressive then guys. But there are still a portion of submissive woman too. So, really depend what type of woman you choose (likewise for man)

IMO, if a married couple both work, both must compromise.

Guy should have their firm stands. And express themselves or fight for their rights. Likewise for girls!

Of course, not asking you to fights for your right to go clubbing drinking every night! Occasionally, with colleagues and friend should be alright. Can always bring your partners along that will be even better.

I always believe married couple should have their own friends or same groups of friends to mingle around. It is always better to let you OC to knows all your friends to make them feel secure and the trust will come naturally.

As for parents:- Weekend have sat and sun, each day go to either parent home to visit. One mth there 4 weekend if there is 5th weekend will be off for only both of you.

Annual leave at least 14 days, can always spare few days for both side parents for holiday.

Housework to be shared - can afford hired part time or full time maid. If woman can cook great, if can't! Man can cook he cook lo.. If can't eat out?

I personally prefer home cook food. Simple dishes are very easy. Both can learn together.

kids.. Then another plans.. All boil down toBoth compromise, supportive and helps toward each other.

Girl sometimes are stubborn/aggressive so do guys? As long as both willing compromise and communicate it should work out?

Of course both party must create a warm and loving home. If both of you always angry with each other, start to Cold War. Refused to communicate or maybe one side keep giving in. Resentment will set in and all start to regret getting married.

Stone Age, man are the hunter who is the hero of the family who food home, make decisions that is their instinct. Gals must understand this (I'm trying to understand also) even tho now is brand new advance age, our human instinct is always with us.

So, in a marriage, esp these days woman mostly are highly educated, holding high wages job, being taught about equal between both sex.

However, woman tends to forgot the human instinct. After work they still enforce their "office" character into home. (Not all but some) if with a man who don't want voice out.

Thinking, swallow the pride and obey the wife in order to survive the marriage. (This is very unhealthy!) how long can that goes?

Just matter of time, when all resentment set in. Maybe ard 20 years later when kids grown up the man feel he had enough of all the shit, start all activities or know girls having affair or maybe he feel his responsibility is over ask for Divorce?

The woman will never ever know why you have change, to her she feel she wasted her youth her time to a man all her life. She grief over it everyone will feel her man is terrible! Why like this why like that.

There was once, I do volunteer work I speak to a old man around 60 plus 70 at day care centre. He said today you all (volunteer group) come here, I don't need take taxi go red light district to find girl talk to me. I'm shocked.

He told me, he can't stand his wife for nearly 40 years. When his kids all grown up, he frequent go those places to find people chat with him. Give those woman 20 to 50 bucks few hours. Just chit chat make him feel loved and concern. Rather then going back home after day care centre, see his wife angry face. Anyway, he talk so much to me that day. Can feel his loneliness, despite showing off his kids are doing well, etc

I used to wear color lens on those old man, at coffee shop talking to those beer girl or there china woman sitting chatting with them, to me is very disgusting, after chatting with that old man my view towards them changed.

I will think maybe because wife passed away, wife too fierce, they are lonely?

Anyway, if the man now does not even want to communicate what he is thinking, facing or feeling to his wife. (Likewise for a man) IMO the marriage is already failure.

As a wife, also need to show concern and care of course try to think it thru whether I'm i pushing my man away or he is drifting apart from me. Why he does that? (Likewise for a man)

Most woman will think there is other woman haha I'm not a saint! If me I will think that too. Think a bit deeper, etc maybe is really because you are the one create all these shit? Or he really too busy? Maybe is time for some heart to heart talk? Likewise for a man.

But.. If all the heart to heart talks still does not works,, then I hope there miracle will bless to those unhappy marriage.. I'm not married.. Haha but that what I think and I will apply if I am married hahaha just my 5cent thoughts!

[Metzloff]

After many years of marriage, I've given up trying to discuss things seriously with my wife. Either she reacts emotionally or she just flatly refuses to admit that there's anything wrong with the way she does things.

So now I do things Army-style - "Yes sir", "No sir" but after that I just do what I want to do:confused:

[Johnbass]

After many years of marriage, I've given up trying to discuss things seriously with my wife. Either she reacts emotionally or she just flatly refuses to admit that there's anything wrong with the way she does things.

So now I do things Army-style - "Yes sir", "No sir" but after that I just do what I want to do:confused:

I agree somewhat... ESP on those days when we quarrel with spouses.
Not every couples will kiss and make-up.
Luckily my relationship with SBF is worst than my marriage. (SBF is exactly like what you mentioned above)
So that gives me comfort. Lol
:D

[HonkyTonkyMan]

Yes I really regret THIS marriage. Wished it hadn't happened in the first place. I feel all she wants is a status of not being seen by her friends as been the only one left on the shelve. Other than that, everything to her is just a show, those family pictures showing a loving family on holidays probably so that her friends could be envious of her. But other than this, what is there to make this marriage last, nothing?

[4411]

This is my story. Married for abt 10 years now mid 30s. Both working. Know her in debt before married. Control as tight as air tight seal. Typical local girl fetch here fetch there meal on the table before sitting. House chore i'm doing most of the time. Ok what to do wife I chose cannot blame anyone. After married been trying to have children but fail 4 times ( IVF la this and that la you name it we tried it )due to her genetic problem been wasting a lot of money in our so call top local medical providers. Some said go adoption la. Talk is easy just like farting. 10 year now her debt increase to the extent now I got to help her. Spend like no tomorrow. Talk to her end up get scolding so end up I just tiam tiam. One day i ask if we divorce she want house 70% say can buy over. Not a very practical person as she want to use the money do the things that she like. I ending up know a china girl with her for a year plus and now I think back I regard didn't think clearly before marry. Now I regard. Sorry for this long winded story.

[HonkyTonkyMan]

This is my story. Married for abt 10 years now mid 30s. Both working. Know her in debt before married. Control as tight as air tight seal. Typical local girl fetch here fetch there meal on the table before sitting. House chore i'm doing most of the time. Ok what to do wife I chose cannot blame anyone. After married been trying to have children but fail 4 times ( IVF la this and that la you name it we tried it )due to her genetic problem been wasting a lot of money in our so call top local medical providers. Some said go adoption la. Talk is easy just like farting. 10 year now her debt increase to the extent now I got to help her. Spend like no tomorrow. Talk to her end up get scolding so end up I just tiam tiam. One day i ask if we divorce she want house 70% say can buy over. Not a very practical person as she want to use the money do the things that she like. I ending up know a china girl with her for a year plus and now I think back I regard didn't think clearly before marry. Now I regard. Sorry for this long winded story.
Bro sorry on your plight especially if you married a wastrel for a wife...its really difficult for marriage to work if both don't share similar thoughts on certain matters. I would suggest you cut your losses before it drags you down and let her float on her own.

For me I was really blinded to many facts about her flaws, temper etc and worst a totally askew view of sex in a marriage. Its really putting a strain on this marriage and really if not for the fact that we have a son still growing up, i think i would have walk out. :(

[raftwee]

Sad to see this thread I thought I was the only one who regret! I married someone I thought can be a perfect life partner.somehow along she got to know some friends from work who enlighten my wife! She now she herself as a poor thing who married a low wage earner compared to those whose husband earn 15 -30k monthly! and she felt sad that her life is wasted after marrying me! Now she has a string of ang mo boyfriends and she is hoping to marry one if them for a better life! Wearing the green hat is one thing and to witness her wanton ways there are times I want to end it but after consulting the lawyer even with adultery, I stand to loose lots!

So here is my secret life, keep fucking all the whores till the day I die!

[raftwee]

I ending up know a china girl with her for a year plus and now I think back I regard didn't think clearly before marry. Now I regard. Sorry for this long winded story.

Dun step into another tragic chapter bro! I have been there before and when together all sorts of story and events will come up enough to trigger another heart attack for you!

[naemlo]

So many unhappiness.... fortunately or unfortunately, I married a foreign woman and most of my time I am staying in foreign country. Financially, there is no pressure. Spend about 2-2.5k SGD per month, my wife can work or dun but I want her to work to spend her time in office better than eats, sleeps, shops or lazes around.

I married my wife after we had been together for about 5 years. She went thru shit with me.... almost a year without income, living off my little saving. She earned about 1000 SGD and paid for almost everything and we ate simple cheap meals with no complaint.

She is from a middle class family, retired parents and live simple life. Guess, it is the culture, the country she is in and brought up make her a simple lady with no desire to buy luxury stuffs, spend money wisely....

[ComeMyWay]

So many unhappiness.... fortunately or unfortunately, I married a foreign woman and most of my time I am staying in foreign country. Financially, there is no pressure. Spend about 2-2.5k SGD per month, my wife can work or dun but I want her to work to spend her time in office better than eats, sleeps, shops or lazes around.

I married my wife after we had been together for about 5 years. She went thru shit with me.... almost a year without income, living off my little saving. She earned about 1000 SGD and paid for almost everything and we ate simple cheap meals with no complaint.

She is from a middle class family, retired parents and live simple life. Guess, it is the culture, the country she is in and brought up make her a simple lady with no desire to buy luxury stuffs, spend money wisely....

You are really lucky bro to have such a spouse

[Lamborghini]

I've never been married but I believe a woman is always a man's pillar of support regardless the situation.

I met a girl during my early school days and she had been by my side through the storm. She loved me, she motivated me, and she stood by me all the time.

When I graduated, I found a decent job. I saved well and planned for our future. However, a business opportunity came and I placed my savings on it. As always, she supported the idea whole heartedly but unfortunately within 14 months, everything went downhill and I lost my funds. I was young, relatively lost but she picked me up. Instead of faulting me, she encouraged me to carry on and even shared the responsibility.

Few months later, I had the chance to embark on a job which I've always dream of. The first 18 months was going to be tough with the very low pay and the responsibilities we had on our shoulders. But she encouraged me to go out and achieve my dream. This road was painful as most of the 18 months I was living overseas and the funds were really really tight. It was a such a struggle but her words were always positive. She did small jobs on the side during weekend to ensure the burden was lightened.

I will never forget her.

[fion.18]

I will never forget her.

Omg this kinda story I like. I'm curious, are u guys still tgt?

[Kuan Aik Hong]

I've never been married but I believe a woman is always a man's pillar of support regardless the situation.

I met a girl during my early school days and she had been by my side through the storm. She loved me, she motivated me, and she stood by me all the time.

When I graduated, I found a decent job. I saved well and planned for our future. However, a business opportunity came and I placed my savings on it. As always, she supported the idea whole heartedly but unfortunately within 14 months, everything went downhill and I lost my funds. I was young, relatively lost but she picked me up. Instead of faulting me, she encouraged me to carry on and even shared the responsibility.

Few months later, I had the chance to embark on a job which I've always dream of. The first 18 months was going to be tough with the very low pay and the responsibilities we had on our shoulders. But she encouraged me to go out and achieve my dream. This road was painful as most of the 18 months I was living overseas and the funds were really really tight. It was a such a struggle but her words were always positive. She did small jobs on the side during weekend to ensure the burden was lightened.

I will never forget her.


Like a korean drama movie...

[LeeHsienLoong]

I did regret allowing myself to be tied down to one woman.
However, due to family circumstances I was unable to voice much out.
Now looking back, it is not as bad as it looks.
It is important to have good communication, respect, and your own space.
Trust is vital too.

[Kuan Aik Hong]

Conclusion is that if not ready for commitments and sacrifice better stay out from the marriage game.

[HonkyTonkyMan]

Conclusion is that if not ready for commitments and sacrifice better stay out from the marriage game.

Hai it doesn't make a difference, even if one is ready for all these, it still takes two hands to clap..

[Johnbass]

Before marrying, we have to ask ourselves...
Can we live with the imperfections/habits of our partner?

Rather than...
How can I change my partner?

:D

[july3rd]

Omg this kinda story I like. I'm curious, are u guys still tgt? Wah jitao drama but that is life,. I guess they might not be together liao hahaha Something similar happen to me donkey years ago but diff la he was the one supportive to me but I'm the one waited for him after that. Life... -.-

[july3rd]

Before marrying, we have to ask ourselves... Can we live with the imperfections/habits of our partner? Rather than... How can I change my partner? :D

So true lo

[loneyheart]

There was once, I do volunteer work I speak to a old man around 60 plus 70 at day care centre. He said today you all (volunteer group) come here, I don't need take taxi go red light district to find girl talk to me. I'm shocked.

He told me, he can't stand his wife for nearly 40 years. When his kids all grown up, he frequent go those places to find people chat with him. Give those woman 20 to 50 bucks few hours. Just chit chat make him feel loved and concern. Rather then going back home after day care centre, see his wife angry face. Anyway, he talk so much to me that day. Can feel his loneliness, despite showing off his kids are doing well, etc

I used to wear color lens on those old man, at coffee shop talking to those beer girl or there china woman sitting chatting with them, to me is very disgusting, after chatting with that old man my view towards them changed.

I will think maybe because wife passed away, wife too fierce, they are lonely?


These r most of t silence Good Lonely Man in present SG ... they just dum want to tear apart t family n quietly accepted as what ppl branded him as DOM

[loneyheart]

I've never been married but I believe a woman is always a man's pillar of support regardless the situation.

I met a girl during my early school days and she had been by my side through the storm. She loved me, she motivated me, and she stood by me all the time.

When I graduated, I found a decent job. I saved well and planned for our future. However, a business opportunity came and I placed my savings on it. As always, she supported the idea whole heartedly but unfortunately within 14 months, everything went downhill and I lost my funds. I was young, relatively lost but she picked me up. Instead of faulting me, she encouraged me to carry on and even shared the responsibility.

Few months later, I had the chance to embark on a job which I've always dream of. The first 18 months was going to be tough with the very low pay and the responsibilities we had on our shoulders. But she encouraged me to go out and achieve my dream. This road was painful as most of the 18 months I was living overseas and the funds were really really tight. It was a such a struggle but her words were always positive. She did small jobs on the side during weekend to ensure the burden was lightened.

I will never forget her.

Such a nice n heart warming encounter ( as a respect I dum call it a story ) ... but ... why U cant b together ??:(

[Lamborghini]

Omg this kinda story I like. I'm curious, are u guys still tgt?

Such a nice n heart warming encounter ( as a respect I dum call it a story ) ... but ... why U cant b together ??:(

One always has to be ready for what lies ahead as nothing is cast in stone.

Nevertheless, life goes on.

Have a good holiday. :)

[HonkyTonkyMan]

Before marrying, we have to ask ourselves...
Can we live with the imperfections/habits of our partner?

Rather than...
How can I change my partner?

:D

Well unfortunately it would seems it mainly the women folks that expect you to change to adapt to them and not a matter of both parties accepting each other flaws..

[Johnbass]

Well unfortunately it would seems it mainly the women folks that expect you to change to adapt to them and not a matter of both parties accepting each other flaws..

Erm... Later the chiobus say u sexist hor... Lol

Good man/women are hard to find bah... Need some luck also.
:D

[HonkyTonkyMan]

hai anyway for me my anniversary is next weekend but i already lost all motivation and impetus to do any planning anymore...i find for her what she wants is just a picture perfect family or husband to show her friends her married life is good and let others envy. But other than that, she is more happy to entertain her group of faggots guys friends. She can at one call from them if they feeling down after a fight with one of their own faggots kind, drop everything and go and console them but yet don't see the need to di anything about our marriage.

[Johnbass]

hai anyway for me my anniversary is next weekend but i already lost all motivation and impetus to do any planning anymore...

Hmm... Maybe focus more on the daily stuffs and how to improve communication?
Don't do the anniversary thing for the sake of doing it.
:D

[surbana]

hai anyway for me my anniversary is next weekend but i already lost all motivation and impetus to do any planning anymore...i find for her what she wants is just a picture perfect family or husband to show her friends her married life is good and let others envy. But other than that, she is more happy to entertain her group of faggots guys friends. She can at one call from them if they feeling down after a fight with one of their own faggots kind, drop everything and go and console them but yet don't see the need to di anything about our marriage.

Woman very superficial one.....never show her jia latz side...

[HonkyTonkyMan]

Hmm... Maybe focus more on the daily stuffs and how to improve communication?
Don't do the anniversary thing for the sake of doing it.
:D

its not due to a lack of trying on my part bro, everyday to her is on her iphone texting with friends watching dramas..no action or effort on her part to move this marriage along...every time try to get fresh abit she push me away say no mood no time etc or the usual woman crap excuses...i already enough of this and decide time for me to move on and look for my own satisfaction whether its my emotional needs sexual needs...the most depressing part is realizing that short of a divorce, I have to spend the rest of my life under such circumstances.

[HCKing]

its not due to a lack of trying on my part bro, everyday to her is on her iphone texting with friends watching dramas..no action or effort on her part to move this marriage along...every time try to get fresh abit she push me away say no mood no time etc or the usual woman crap excuses...i already enough of this and decide time for me to move on and look for my own satisfaction whether its my emotional needs sexual needs...the most depressing part is realizing that short of a divorce, I have to spend the rest of my life under such circumstances.

that's y if wanna marry in sg must die die confirm the wife is a good stock. otherwise we guys r farked regardless of getting a divorce or continue to struggle with the meaningless marriage.

[Captainoceania77]

its not due to a lack of trying on my part bro, everyday to her is on her iphone texting with friends watching dramas..no action or effort on her part to move this marriage along...every time try to get fresh abit she push me away say no mood no time etc or the usual woman crap excuses...i already enough of this and decide time for me to move on and look for my own satisfaction whether its my emotional needs sexual needs...the most depressing part is realizing that short of a divorce, I have to spend the rest of my life under such circumstances.

Most of my friends has the same situation like yours. They dont wanna divorce is because of responsibility only. The reasons are that children needs a proper family.

[demonhuntergay]

Before marrying, we have to ask ourselves...
Can we live with the imperfections/habits of our partner?

Rather than...
How can I change my partner?

:D

agree. too bad most ppl dont see it this way
a leopard cant change its spot. just like demonhunter, once a faggot, forever a faggot.

:D

[demonhunter]

agree. too bad most ppl dont see it this way
a leopard cant change its spot. just like demonhunter, once a faggot, forever a faggot.

:D

You want to change the leopards spots ?

Go talk to Snowleopards then ... he will teach you .

ps: becareful , he might penetrate your ass though I know YOU LIKE !

:D

[Johnbass]

Aiyo... Serious thread also come and troll...
Tiagong the clones lost the clone wars so all start to riot Liao...
:eek:
:D

[demonhunter]

Aiyo... Serious thread also come and troll...
Tiagong the clones lost the clone wars so all start to riot Liao...
:eek:
:D

Not tiagong .... its the truth .

imagine my faggot clone begging me not to stalk him back !!!

Classic

[SnowLeopards]

This is getting rather interesting.

Seems there is a new ass in town. :eek:

However, I have eyes only for my Ladyboy.

Nothing can compare to her badly done 32D breasts and hairy ass. :D

Pierre.

[demonhunter]

This is getting rather interesting.

Seems there is a new ass in town. :eek:

However, I have eyes only for my Ladyboy.

Nothing can compare to her badly done 32D breasts and hairy ass. :D

Pierre.

Trust me , DHG is a professional . Just check out where she puts her location .

You might wanna consider a threesome with the both of them :D

[demonhuntergay]

Aiyo... Serious thread also come and troll...
Tiagong the clones lost the clone wars so all start to riot Liao...
:eek:
:D

wat cock u talking since u urself is also a troll

Not tiagong .... its the truth .

imagine my faggot clone begging me not to stalk him back !!!

Classic

ya lor dont stalk me leh faggot, my fart really so nice to smell ah? :D

[demonhunter]

wat cock u talking since u urself is also a troll



ya lor dont stalk me leh faggot, my fart really so nice to smell ah? :D

Not your fart , its your hairy asshole that's nice to fuck . and I love the way you use your mouth to clean up your shit stains on my dick .

:D

[demonhuntergay]

Not your fart , its your hairy asshole that's nice to fuck . and I love the way you use your mouth to clean up your shit stains on my dick .

:D

Lol u damn gross, telling everyone all yr gay fantasy online doesnt match yr status leh faggot. :D

[demonhunter]

Lol u damn gross, telling everyone all yr gay fantasy online doesnt match yr status leh faggot. :D

Only to you , my love !

:D

[Bucky Barnes]

Yes, only because its to the wrong women

[jetpilot777]

Having a wife & having a lover r 2 diff things altogether. Many r confused thus they bundle them up together as the same thing & gets fucked! MANY
I hv written this many yrs ago, cant remember exactly word for word but here it is again.

Wife:
U marry a woman who has integrity
U marry a woman not because she's sexy, pretty or because she's the best fuck u ever had
U marry a woman because of her sense of responsibility
U marry a woman because she knows how to plan for her future & urs not just live a day at a time
U marry a woman who has no yearnings for a materialistic life
U marry a woman who wants to SETTLE DOWN not because of pressure but because she wants to move on to the next phase in her life
U marry woman who supports & listens to u unconditionally

Lover:
Best fuck of ur life
Always there to be wild n make u happy
Says tks when receiving presents instead of making a serious point of PLEASE DONT WASTE MONEY
Suggest where to go to be happy
Suggest u try new clothes, cars, ex restaurants, wallets, getaways etc
Princess mentally

Many still don't get this. Then they fail cos they hooked the wrong fish & then proclaim marriage is madness.

Seriously?
Do not complain when u go fishing & u cant get a fish. Hv u ever asked urself if u fished at the rite spot & used the rite baits?

PS: There's no such thing as marrying too early or too late due age. The only thing is r u matured & stable enuff mentally & financially to get married. Age has nothing to do wif it. I married my wife at 25(she was 24). She's very matured for her age. Her youngest sis, just hit 40 this yr, still single, U grad, but hugs dolls all around the house & bed like those babies wif their pillows. Wat do u tink!

After reading all u wrote, realised tat I have found a wife. But I still looking for tat lover u wrote abt.... :(

[shazai]

The post of Do_u_bj really hit the nail

[HonkyTonkyMan]

Unfortunately for me, my lover became my wife and in the end she became just like a wife.:(:(

[zan888]

Unfortunately for me, my lover became my wife and in the end she became just like a wife.:(:(

Once target is achieved, KPI drops as motivation diminish. If only getting rid of them is as easy as applying for marriage license, only then they would be on their toes.

[Greenfrog]

Unfortunately for me, my lover became my wife and in the end she became just like a wife.:(:(

isnt that the case of majority of the marriages out there??

[HonkyTonkyMan]

isnt that the case of majority of the marriages out there??

well she literally started as my lover cos i was married when we met....:(

[WickedTongue]

I really scared to get married :(

[lanpar]

After reading this thread and other similar threads, one may be quick to infer that many marriages are not happy ones but one must be mindful that the general populace out there do not surf sammyboysexforum but are happily married and they could possibly form the great majority who have no chance to state their views in this forum.

[Johnbass]

After reading this thread and other similar threads, one may be quick to infer that many marriages are not happy ones but one must be mindful that the general populace out there do not surf sammyboysexforum but are happily married and they could possibly form the great majority who have no chance to state their views in this forum.

Tiagong "keyboard warriors" are the new majority...
The power of social media...
:D

[sunhuan-con]

I really scared to get married :(

Me too...is like a big gamble and digging its own grave....Needs to be committed, endurance , lost of freedom , no financial freedom. The only advantages is to have children and someone to talk.

[masterwanker]

Tiagong "keyboard warriors" are the new majority...
The power of social media...
:D

How cume u no more premium member ? You forgot to pay your protection fees ? Also looks like your stock value taking a big hit. :eek:

[masterwanker]

After reading this thread and other similar threads, one may be quick to infer that many marriages are not happy ones but one must be mindful that the general populace out there do not surf sammyboysexforum but are happily married and they could possibly form the great majority who have no chance to state their views in this forum.


Please refer to my signature .

[WickedTongue]

Me too...is like a big gamble and digging its own grave....Needs to be committed, endurance , lost of freedom , no financial freedom. The only advantages is to have children and someone to talk.

You spoke exactly what was in my mind bro :o

[4getful]

Recently i have googled ‘’marriage is fated‘’. If marriage is really fate, then there should have no regrets, cos you are only going through what you are supposed to go through. For eg, a 10course dinner, no matter which dish comes first you gonna taste all the dish. But of cos there are sequential in going through the dishes.

So in this lifetime, who you gonna meet, they are not new, they might be someone you knew long time ago, even before one was born.Whether u have a happy marriage or an unhappy ones, have kids or no kid, it is all programmed. So instead of regretting, y not enjoying it.:D

[4getful]

Will it getting a Good luck for those who marrying foreign women? There are new law/ rules dishing out for them. It will come to a state that there are no different marrying a local or a foreign women. Many will use it to their advantage and initiate a divorce to milk out more $ from local men. Expecting a dip in transnational marriage and more divorcing in years to come.

[sunhuan-con]

Will it getting a Good luck for those who marrying foreign women? There are new law/ rules dishing out for them. It will come to a state that there are no different marrying a local or a foreign women. Many will use it to their advantage and initiate a divorce to milk out more $ from local men. Expecting a dip in transnational marriage and more divorcing in years to come.

Best is not to have any marriage certificate involve.......just have a ceremonial wedding bash in their home town.

[Greenfrog]

I really scared to get married :(

then don't :D

[a2014]

Best is not to have any marriage certificate involve.......
Married is not a problem, unmarried is a problem.

[D-joker]

I dont knw abt u guys. But for me i regret marrying. Nt bcoz my wife is not good but bcoz i m nt good enuff. Some may say i m immature. Some may say i m mentally sick. Some might even say that is bcoz my heart is black. Maybe i am but i really felt i m a jinx for women. Especially my wife. There is alot of story behind this. But if u ask me do i regret marrying? I say i do...

[Captainoceania77]

I dont knw abt u guys. But for me i regret marrying. Nt bcoz my wife is not good but bcoz i m nt good enuff. Some may say i m immature. Some may say i m mentally sick. Some might even say that is bcoz my heart is black. Maybe i am but i really felt i m a jinx for women. Especially my wife. There is alot of story behind this. But if u ask me do i regret marrying? I say i do...

Since u know is you not good..why not u change yourself and improve the marriage...

[jng1103]

Hmm.... monetary wise, nope; love/feeling wise, yes :(

It's really tough to live with someone U no longer love or going crazy over.

[Greenfrog]

Hmm.... monetary wise, nope; love/feeling wise, yes :(

It's really tough to live with someone U no longer love or going crazy over.

Do you have kids? usually the couple can divert the attention to their kids and keep the marriage going..

[parrotkid]

Some women along the way got influenced by what they read online and what they evil female friends tell them. When this happens, the man must decide whether he will be driven crazy if he stays on with such a wife. Having kids around makes the situation worse as the wife will make some crazy decision over the kids that may anger you and make the marriage worse. Kids do not always help to strengthen the bond. In many cases, kids make it worse. With kids, there will be more financial stress and more decision-making. None of these are good if the wife is the kind that lacks wisdom.

[Captainoceania77]

I chatted with a guy last week and he had divorced 2 times ..His is so angry and categorized woman as very evil...Now he told me he has awaken and dont intend to get marry again..It sounds very scary . But I believe there are still good woman out there too.

[HonkyTonkyMan]

I chatted with a guy last week and he had divorced 2 times ..His is so angry and categorized woman as very evil...Now he told me he has awaken and dont intend to get marry again..It sounds very scary . But I believe there are still good woman out there too.

Well bro a woman can be a real angel when nothing happens but once you piss them off believe me they don't come up with the saying "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" for nothing...

[Yakuza_AV]

I chatted with a guy last week and he had divorced 2 times ..His is so angry and categorized woman as very evil...Now he told me he has awaken and dont intend to get marry again..It sounds very scary . But I believe there are still good woman out there too.

Only for now that he won't go back for women. Soon or later he will. That's man.

[Captainoceania77]

Only for now that he won't go back for women. Soon or later he will. That's man.

Man cant tahan loneliness....

[Yakuza_AV]

Man cant tahan loneliness....

Man backside itch can not sit still and that is why man are natural explorer.

[IamNinjaTurtle]

Great Thread! :)

[IamNinjaTurtle]

Great Thread! :)

[LonelyPlayboy]

Man cant tahan loneliness....

Seems like it :(

[sunhuan-con]

Man backside itch can not sit still and that is why man are natural explorer.

Without woman man will die....lol

[Hurricane88]

Without woman man will die....lol

eh...vice versa...:p :p

[sunhuan-con]

eh...vice versa...:p :p

Woman need man $$$$$

[ah rat]

Woman need man $$$$$

Woman need man lanjiao :D

[TheCoolDude]

Well bro a woman can be a real angel when nothing happens but once you piss them off believe me they don't come up with the saying "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" for nothing...

very true bro

[Captainoceania77]

Woman need man lanjiao :D


Not most .....they need security...

[ROCKERS]

everyday !everyday !
everyday !everyday !
everyday !everyday !
Everyday !

[Led Zeppelin]

Every single day ... Ha ha

[Captainoceania77]

Every single day ... Ha ha

Then???U still have a choice to leave...

[maxsee]

Most guys aren't divorcing coz it probably cost a bomb to do that...And if there are kids involved....it would be worse....:D:D:D

[SnowLeopards]

Then???U still have a choice to leave...

That would be a wrong choice. :D

Pierre.

[Ngengheng]

Most guys aren't divorcing coz it probably cost a bomb to do that...And if there are kids involved....it would be worse....:D:D:D

Isnt it a torture...If adult cant live happily together , whats the point? Kids will have their own life. Whatever they still got to live. Divorce is not end of the world , life still have to move on.

[clubration]

every day !every hour !
every minute !every second !
every breath i take !every moment i awake !

[Dublin]

If you have a problem staying committed, you'd regret!

[topcook1]

If you have a problem staying committed, you'd regret!

Most woman will prefer man to be committed.....Which means to control and tie u down. For freedom lover better stay single.

[Dublin]

Most woman will prefer man to be committed.....Which means to control and tie u down. For freedom lover better stay single.

Well, I guess it works both ways.

[topcook1]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoXQf2f2Yxo

[Nehtlord]

Regret = a little. But there's more things that cover the regret part.
If you really do regret, then divorce. It is still your own life even you are married. Nobody gonna die with you and go to heaven or hell together. When it's time, everyone will have to go alone. It's your own life. Your choice, whatever makes you happy, go for it.

[Captainoceania77]

Regret = a little. But there's more things that cover the regret part.
If you really do regret, then divorce. It is still your own life even you are married. Nobody gonna die with you and go to heaven or hell together. When it's time, everyone will have to go alone. It's your own life. Your choice, whatever makes you happy, go for it.

True..everyone will go alone in the end. If not happy there is no point to drag on . Very torturing .

[Captainoceania77]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoXQf2f2Yxo

Penalty are high rewards are low for married man....Thats very true indeed.

[36SCE]

Marriage is similar to a lucky draw. You may win a prize that you like but not quite the one you wanted.

In my case, I'm 80% happily married for almost 20 years now. Wife has been very supportive in terms of my career choice, takes excellent care of kids and home and "tolerates" :p my Mum living in same house so all in all, I can't complain.

Only part totally lacking is the sex part. She has totally gone off it and on the very rare occasions she does it, can tell its mechanical and just to fulfill her wifely duties till I sianz and seldom request anymore and sometimes only for HJ.

Given that we have been together such a long time and raised a happy family, I would say its been a success for me personally having a stable and comfortable home to come home everyday.

As for the missing bit, I'm starting to explore options :D

[21MARTELL]

I agree with bros here, but from a woman point of view, what woman want are actually very simple 2 things one is ur faithfulness another is your attention.

Guys may think oh the more money I earn means the more she would love me I mean who dose not need money, but to a woman a simple life is all she need unless of cause you are talking about materialistic woman, so if u know this woman only love you for how much u can earn then why marry her in the 1st place? Hmmm...

[zan888]

I agree with bros here, but from a woman point of view, what woman want are actually very simple 2 things one is ur faithfulness another is your attention.

Guys may think oh the more money I earn means the more she would love me I mean who dose not need money, but to a woman a simple life is all she need unless of cause you are talking about materialistic woman, so if u know this woman only love you for how much u can earn then why marry her in the 1st place? Hmmm...

Maybe it is over simplifying things cos different woman needs or looks for different things, just like some man prefer intelligent woman, some want sex kitten, some want someone who earns as much as them, some want child bearing, some want bbbj everyday haha.

Some woman will trade faithfulness for monetary gains, which is often seen in taitai's . They close eyes to infidelity as long as the line of credit is sufficient for Hermes bag.

As to the topic, marriage is about losing something and sacrifice. What you gain will entail much sacrifice monetarily, emotionally & physically. It makes sense for woman to marry, more so than man. Why? As a man gets older, he gets wealthier and higher in demand,but woman get saggy and worst, their level of service invariably drops. Sex which used to be good, gets lazy.

Marriage is seen as a way to legitimize children as in the past few people have wills and since only legitimate children can inherit father's wealth, it is important that a woman is married so that her offspring can be taken care off. But now in the modern age, this is no longer a factor and even CPF can be willed away to a SYT who uses her mouth. Marriage doesn't mean as much cos people get divorced all the time and there is not guarantee card of faithfulness attached to marriage certificate.

Man marry because we get nagged to no end by woman and we "love" them enough to embark on this foolishness and for many its prerequisite for HDB flat. Eastern culture dictates that you need to be married to have children? Otherwise your partner will always be asked, why you not married huh at every CNY and relatives will gossip that your children are not legitimate. Yeah those are the dumb reasons we men get married. If we didnt like the sex, we wont even consider this an option.

[momogaga]

Thinking of separation and divorce now and having read up, the emotional and financial stress could be overwhelming. Plus we have a HDB which we are going to commit to so what happens with that and the financials behind it will be a real impact to the man. And during this time you are alone... family members and friends stop talking to you after they know they have failed to convince you to save your marriage. Pretty sad and depressing times for me. Any bros care to listen and advise?

[21MARTELL]

Correct me if I am wrong, so most bros here are trying to say, most guys do not intentionaly wanted to get married? Most are more of the " bo bian" situation ?

[topcook1]

Thinking of separation and divorce now and having read up, the emotional and financial stress could be overwhelming. Plus we have a HDB which we are going to commit to so what happens with that and the financials behind it will be a real impact to the man. And during this time you are alone... family members and friends stop talking to you after they know they have failed to convince you to save your marriage. Pretty sad and depressing times for me. Any bros care to listen and advise?

I dont think family members will stop talking to you btw they will support u emotionally. Dont be sad as everything bad things will pass.....life will still goes on. Kindly carry on and I will listen and advise u too.......

[momogaga]

I dont think family members will stop talking to you btw they will support u emotionally. Dont be sad as everything bad things will pass.....life will still goes on. Kindly carry on and I will listen and advise u too.......

It is very trying time for me emotionally. I want to leave and be with the love of my life but marriage vows, family and financial burden are holding me back. I used to have friends and family care and concern about me when the incident happen but now I am more or less alone in everything I do everyday.

[HonkyTonkyMan]

It is very trying time for me emotionally. I want to leave and be with the love of my life but marriage vows, family and financial burden are holding me back. I used to have friends and family care and concern about me when the incident happen but now I am more or less alone in everything I do everyday.

Empathize with you dude, been down that road before. One thing is, you have to be very sure what you want and not waver from your objective. If not, not only you suffer, two other parties also suffer with you.

[momogaga]

Empathize with you dude, been down that road before. One thing is, you have to be very sure what you want and not waver from your objective. If not, not only you suffer, two other parties also suffer with you.

Thanks bro. I don't know what you went through. I also deep down knows what I want. But I am even doubting myself. Is it worth destroying everything for that new person. I don't know if I am thinking right and most importantly I can't bear to face the consequence of ending it.

[36SCE]

It is very trying time for me emotionally. I want to leave and be with the love of my life but marriage vows, family and financial burden are holding me back. I used to have friends and family care and concern about me when the incident happen but now I am more or less alone in everything I do everyday.

Time is a healer for almost anything. Take your time to evaluate all your options carefully and when you've decided, go for it. There will never be a 100% right or wrong answer. In life, we always have to compromise somewhat.

Whatever pain you will go through after your decision is temporary. Time will heal as you start to meet new friends and gain new perspectives, experiences etc.

[Johnbass]

Correct me if I am wrong, so most bros here are trying to say, most guys do not intentionaly wanted to get married? Most are more of the " bo bian" situation ?

Come sbf must read selectively and with many pinches of salt...
Else end up more EMO than them nia...
:D

[Yakuza]

Correct me if I am wrong, so most bros here are trying to say, most guys do not intentionaly wanted to get married? Most are more of the " bo bian" situation ?

If the small head rules over the big head n ended up in a bo bian situation .. than its the men himself to blame ... so why regret later when in the 1st place u wanted it and asked for it???:confused:

[topcook1]

Thanks bro. I don't know what you went through. I also deep down knows what I want. But I am even doubting myself. Is it worth destroying everything for that new person. I don't know if I am thinking right and most importantly I can't bear to face the consequence of ending it.

So I see....u were seeking another greener pasture .....now i know why your relatives shy away from u.....

[4getful]

It is very trying time for me emotionally. I want to leave and be with the love of my life but marriage vows, family and financial burden are holding me back. I used to have friends and family care and concern about me when the incident happen but now I am more or less alone in everything I do everyday.

I guess you are having another woman now? If so, marriage n courtship is totally different thing. In Courtship, you can fuck her song song n no need responsibility. But in marriage, you are liable under wc, you might not be able to live like a man anymore if the ex spouse decided to be nasty. you can be forever in poverty, no place to live and even sent to jail if you have children and your ex spouse make life dufficult for you, that is why no brave enough man wanted to get married. Should think thoroughly....

[4getful]

Correct me if I am wrong, so most bros here are trying to say, most guys do not intentionaly wanted to get married? Most are more of the " bo bian" situation ?

There are many sg men marrying foreign bride. I believe many wanted to get married but are held back by circumstances. There is a so called wc in the marriage cert. Some women only look for well to do husband, as it mean potential income be it in marriage or divorce. Some men do not feel the urge in settle down as there are plently of women willingly to open leg, be ons, be it in a r/s or be it thrill. So it seems like no point getting a women n give up all other women. Somemore there are many adultery cases, these cases are categorised as adultery because they are married, if not married, it is no big deal as many are doing the sex with many different men n women before their marriage. It still look like it is a good catch to marry a foreign women when they are pure n virgin n pretty n have little education in understanding how they can exploit the wc to their advantage. But i believe it is a matter of time they start to learn n exploit it n divorce cases will rocket up high.;)

[momogaga]

So I see....u were seeking another greener pasture .....now i know why your relatives shy away from u.....

Yes. Of course I know the lure of greener pasture is not always end up the best. But at this moment my feelings grown stronger. I don't think I'm someone who acted just because the grass is greener on the other side. I was exposed and the only emotional comfort and support I am getting right now is in that direction. Which makes my will the more stronger. But dealing with parents and the thought of the separation process/legal involved just seems too much and too painful to take on at this time. Yet I have my own happiness to think about.

[lustforlove]

Yes super regret. Marry for all e wrong reasons.
Can only blame myself for being young and stupid.

[HonkyTonkyMan]

Thanks bro. I don't know what you went through. I also deep down knows what I want. But I am even doubting myself. Is it worth destroying everything for that new person. I don't know if I am thinking right and most importantly I can't bear to face the consequence of ending it.
I once had a good friend told me, the sweetest love is the one that you can never possess. Cos this is the love that you will learn to cherish and hold true to your heart. One thing i know, you have to put on a "black and wicked" heart to walk out of a marriage especially if the other party stills hold hopes of reconciliation. I can tell you till today i am still haunted by the images of my ex and daughter all huddle up in a corner hugging each other crying their eyes out. All because I wanted to start a new life with someone new. But honestly, after so many years already, i learn it all actually one vicious cycle. What you think is a new life is just a reboot of your old...

[momogaga]

I once had a good friend told me, the sweetest love is the one that you can never possess. Cos this is the love that you will learn to cherish and hold true to your heart. One thing i know, you have to put on a "black and wicked" heart to walk out of a marriage especially if the other party stills hold hopes of reconciliation. I can tell you till today i am still haunted by the images of my ex and daughter all huddle up in a corner hugging each other crying their eyes out. All because I wanted to start a new life with someone new. But honestly, after so many years already, i learn it all actually one vicious cycle. What you think is a new life is just a reboot of your old...

Bro thanks for sharing your experience. Can you share what was your feeling then when you finally got your way and be with that seemingly elusive love. And what is your feeling now? I am hopeful the reason we are ready to risk so much means that it will be a happier ending than our previous state.

[Captainoceania77]

Yes super regret. Marry for all e wrong reasons.
Can only blame myself for being young and stupid.

Most marriage couple said the same too....even my mum admitted too.

[HonkyTonkyMan]

Bro thanks for sharing your experience. Can you share what was your feeling then when you finally got your way and be with that seemingly elusive love. And what is your feeling now? I am hopeful the reason we are ready to risk so much means that it will be a happier ending than our previous state.

Feelings? I can tell you, the feeling of guilt will never leave you. Even thou you may think you have done the right thing. In particular, when I had to attend my ex mom funeral. I was apprehensive about how were her relatives, the same relatives who had attended our wedding, see me. Had to put on a brave front throughout the whole thing.

As i stated in another thread, there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. Both marriages has it plus and minus. What I learn and hopefully have improved on, are the mistakes I did in my earlier marriage. In particular on the area of caring for my kids. Before I was the big man, everything on children leave it to the wife. But now i personally partake in my son upbringing.

So if you think leaving one marriage for another will be a happy ending thereafter, you are wrong. You have to actually put in the effort to make it a happy one.

[Xyberduke]

I divorce my ex-wife who loved me and married someone who loved herself.
Do I regret. My first thoughts yes. On second thought I don't and I felt fortunate to marry my wife.
The first two years was simply retribution for me and I never felt loved, and was simply a driver, a punching bag, an ATM, a personal assistance, etc.. But that was exactly how I treated my ex-wife in the past and our marriage failed because she simply endured my nonsense and never woke me up. I woke up and took it like a man.

Throughout my current marriage, there were times that I did regret but when that happened, I will tell myself that I chose my wife and signed on the dotted line. I have to make it work. And I never allowed a problem to go unresolved after a quarrel. And even if it's my wife's mistake which is the case most of the time (haha), I will be the one to apologise because she will never do it. That's simply because I treasure our relationship more than my ego.

So, yes, I regret marrying, if I ever had the chance to choose again, I may choose to remain single.

Am I happy today? Yes I am very happy with my wife despite the downs as I enjoyed the ups. You made the choice, you make the marriage work. Don't allow regret to become a reason to give up on marriage....

[Ngengheng]

Dont understand why man knows marriage are difficult and woman hard to live together and yet so many man still love jumping into the grave...Because of sex? Loneliness?To have children?....in the end so many regretted . I had seen guys divorce few time and never learn lesson...perhaps is the positive attitude..never give up...thinking the best will come...

[momogaga]

Dont understand why man knows marriage are difficult and woman hard to live together and yet so many man still love jumping into the grave...Because of sex? Loneliness?To have children?....in the end so many regretted . I had seen guys divorce few time and never learn lesson...perhaps is the positive attitude..never give up...thinking the best will come...

To have children for old parents, to apply for hdb else no shelter no asset, pressure by thoughts of having young children when old age, wanting to focus on career with woman supposedly providing the support

[HCKing]

Correct me if I am wrong, so most bros here are trying to say, most guys do not intentionaly wanted to get married? Most are more of the " bo bian" situation ?

bo bian is true to most of them since their girls will be pressuring them to get married b4 their own expiry dates. :p

[HCKing]

Yes. Of course I know the lure of greener pasture is not always end up the best. But at this moment my feelings grown stronger. I don't think I'm someone who acted just because the grass is greener on the other side. I was exposed and the only emotional comfort and support I am getting right now is in that direction. Which makes my will the more stronger. But dealing with parents and the thought of the separation process/legal involved just seems too much and too painful to take on at this time. Yet I have my own happiness to think about.

if u r really confident that the new one will work out then be decisive and go all out for it. there will definitely be plenty of losses due to divorce but wat else can u do except for lan lan suck thumbs and get over it?

[Ngengheng]

if u r really confident that the new one will work out then be decisive and go all out for it. there will definitely be plenty of losses due to divorce but wat else can u do except for lan lan suck thumbs and get over it?

See that most man out there very afraid OC....perhaps due to respect...

[HonkyTonkyMan]

I divorce my ex-wife who loved me and married someone who loved herself.
Do I regret. My first thoughts yes. On second thought I don't and I felt fortunate to marry my wife.

My exact sentiments, after marrying my second one, i began to realize how true the saying "better to be loved than to love". That are times I can't help but feel that karma is very real. What goes around comes around.

[LauYewTee]

Reading through all the replies here... and maybe even myself, are we, in a rush to marriage? Why is everyone here this way? I wonder if it is the same overseas and aboard.

[Captainoceania77]

Reading through all the replies here... and maybe even myself, are we, in a rush to marriage? Why is everyone here this way? I wonder if it is the same overseas and aboard.

Beginning is love.....after honeymoon period is reality ...

[Incumbent]

Beginning is love.....after honeymoon period is reality ...

very true bro :(

[HCKing]

See that most man out there very afraid OC....perhaps due to respect...

perhaps becos women are more aggressive and intolerant these days. :D

[HCKing]

Reading through all the replies here... and maybe even myself, are we, in a rush to marriage? Why is everyone here this way? I wonder if it is the same overseas and aboard.

bro everything in life there r pros and cons, including marriage. nothing is perfect its only a matter of whether the pros outweight the cons. the same applies to having a child as well.

[sunhuan-con]

My good friend just told me he damn regret in marriage, lost his freedom and left with no money in bank. Salary not enough for 3 kids and maid.....OC keeps on controlling his freedom....He told me he married just because he was lonely.

[spodok]

My good friend just told me he damn regret in marriage, lost his freedom and left with no money in bank. Salary not enough for 3 kids and maid.....OC keeps on controlling his freedom....He told me he married just because he was lonely.

This is rather scary to hear. But I guess all is in the mind. I've just done so last year and yes at time is like what your friend gone though, but after all I keep a positive mind and tell myself this is another journey in life.

[cmelater]

Hi,

I am surprised that I am posting this reply. I have been in this (crap) for about 2 years. Its exactly as what one bro described. The initial period is love, but subsequent period is nothing except duty and obligations.

I used to be a carefree guy. Festive seasons were always good holiday breaks for me, then... it became different because she started asking me to attend family gatherings, friends' weddings, CNY and etc etc. When meet, its always the usual question of "so when you having your kid?" or "why so late haven't have kid?"

Our first "break down" came during the wedding ceremony. We had 2 ceremonies and the first one was a net loss, after all the ang bao. She made good the losses, but we didn't have any agreement on that. On the subsequent wedding ceremony, she asked me to pay the bill and kept all the ang bao. I was surprised because there was no agreement or discussion on how to split the cost or whether she would want me to bear the cost. It was damn damaging to the relationship. I started not to trust her. On another instance, she asked if I wanted to exchange some foreign currency cos of the good rates that day. I provided her the money and the money never returned. After asking a couple of times, she finally said that she was keeping the money to make good whatever she paid for, on my behalf on another shopping trip. I was wondering.... cant this be mentioned upfront? I may be broke, but I can afford some hundreds.

I am already having a tough time accumulating savings. Lost money over business and other investments. Having a kid isn't the first thing in my mind. But, I know my SO is dying to have. She isn't getting any younger. :( At times, I wish to just tell her to part ways and she can go and have the kids she want.

The amount of incompatibility is just unbelievable. We could fight over anything and dispute over anything as well. Though I haven't hit 40, I feel damn shagged.... Financially, I am not that well off and still recovering from my losses. Even at this juncture, wife still wayang claim she got no money. But, when I saw her tithing, I was wtf. I would respect her, if she had been honest. But, to be able to tithe and yet claim she was broke, I felt being played......

To the bros out there, marry only when you are ready to die. Don't marry just because you love the girl. Life doesn't work like that.

[sunhuan-con]

Marriage is the most difficult to manage...Bonding of different characters, family backgrounds , education , ideology....Someone must really close 2 eyes inorder to maintain it until the end..I consider marriage is just a contract and it can be broken anytime ...With a strong feminism and woman charter nowadays , woman seldom respect the husband .....Think 10 times before jumping into the grave...

[cmelater]

Marriage is the most difficult to manage...Bonding of different characters, family backgrounds , education , ideology....Someone must really close 2 eyes inorder to maintain it until the end..I consider marriage is just a contract and it can be broken anytime ...With a strong feminism and woman charter nowadays , woman seldom respect the husband .....Think 10 times before jumping into the grave...
Yes bro.... Its really the grave. Or the cliff. Jump and no coming back for good. Worse than ns. Ns only 2 over years and its done plus some years of compulsory volunteerism.

Marriage seems more like an outright abdication of individual rights to embrace those of the other. Bonding only, if terms are better. Abdication of rights if its worse...

I seriously agree bro. Marriage is a big mistake. :(

[sunhuan-con]

Yes bro.... Its really the grave. Or the cliff. Jump and no coming back for good. Worse than ns. Ns only 2 over years and its done plus some years of compulsory volunteerism.

Marriage seems more like an outright abdication of individual rights to embrace those of the other. Bonding only, if terms are better. Abdication of rights if its worse...

I seriously agree bro. Marriage is a big mistake. :(

But many man still love jumping into it...thinking of true love and companionship. Some guys even divorce a few times and never learn the lesson. Love and sex will blind the man.

[oreochcolate]

This is a very interesting thread; and I've read all 16 pages of it. I would like to offer my personal views on it.

More about myself first: I'm 30 this year, currently single. Holding a very stable job that pays reasonably well. Enough to live comfortably for sure. Have been seeing a foreign woman for 2 years now and will be looking to marry her in the near future.

Firstly, I believe that all men wants a woman who he can depend upon for his emotional and physical needs. More emotional rather than physical. Because physical we can always get outside by paying money. Some bros may say that I can get sex by paying and rave on about how good the bonk is. But to me, the emotional aspect is missing and at best artificial. Sex is best when both participants invest emotions into it. Many a times I end a bonking session feeling empty inside, both emotionally and sperm-wise (haha).

Secondly, marriage is a gamble on our finances. Because to be honest, don't think many of the guys here will be marrying a princess or a sugar mummy. So its between enjoying singlehood and all our materialistic dreams, or having a happy family and all the intangible joys that come with it. I will be able to that drive a BMW and live in a condo if I stay single, but I am not sure whether I will be happier as compared to having a family, living in a HDB flat and driving a Toyota wish.

Lastly, I believe all the bros here do wish that they were married.... to the right women. What do you guys think?

[urgg]

Yes bro.... Its really the grave. Or the cliff. Jump and no coming back for good. Worse than ns. Ns only 2 over years and its done plus some years of compulsory volunteerism.

Marriage seems more like an outright abdication of individual rights to embrace those of the other. Bonding only, if terms are better. Abdication of rights if its worse...

I seriously agree bro. Marriage is a big mistake. :(

Sad to say money issues is the No.1 killer in marriage. If she knows that u have financal issues, it is definitely wrong for her to take money from u and shop.. If the money is for household den it is still understandable..

Have a good talk with her regarding this. See if she is willing to accept a normal and simple life. work together to tide through the financial challenge first.

[sunhuan-con]

This is a very interesting thread; and I've read all 16 pages of it. I would like to offer my personal views on it.

More about myself first: I'm 30 this year, currently single. Holding a very stable job that pays reasonably well. Enough to live comfortably for sure. Have been seeing a foreign woman for 2 years now and will be looking to marry her in the near future.

Firstly, I believe that all men wants a woman who he can depend upon for his emotional and physical needs. More emotional rather than physical. Because physical we can always get outside by paying money. Some bros may say that I can get sex by paying and rave on about how good the bonk is. But to me, the emotional aspect is missing and at best artificial. Sex is best when both participants invest emotions into it. Many a times I end a bonking session feeling empty inside, both emotionally and sperm-wise (haha).

Secondly, marriage is a gamble on our finances. Because to be honest, don't think many of the guys here will be marrying a princess or a sugar mummy. So its between enjoying singlehood and all our materialistic dreams, or having a happy family and all the intangible joys that come with it. I will be able to that drive a BMW and live in a condo if I stay single, but I am not sure whether I will be happier as compared to having a family, living in a HDB flat and driving a Toyota wish.

Lastly, I believe all the bros here do wish that they were married.... to the right women. What do you guys think?

Nothing is perfect in this world. We man are simple just hope to find simple , not bad looking and understanding woman... However woman wants much more things from man ....sometimes find that man are in a difficult situation nowadays...everything have to please the woman...life will be a suffering til the end if everytime we have to scare this scare that..I had been through marriage life before and understand that is not easy at all...Woman will be controlling after marriage trust me.....before and after marriage is totally different world . After you have children more jia latz.....

[cmelater]

This is a very interesting thread; and I've read all 16 pages of it. I would like to offer my personal views on it.

More about myself first: I'm 30 this year, currently single. Holding a very stable job that pays reasonably well. Enough to live comfortably for sure. Have been seeing a foreign woman for 2 years now and will be looking to marry her in the near future.

Firstly, I believe that all men wants a woman who he can depend upon for his emotional and physical needs. More emotional rather than physical. Because physical we can always get outside by paying money. Some bros may say that I can get sex by paying and rave on about how good the bonk is. But to me, the emotional aspect is missing and at best artificial. Sex is best when both participants invest emotions into it. Many a times I end a bonking session feeling empty inside, both emotionally and sperm-wise (haha).

Secondly, marriage is a gamble on our finances. Because to be honest, don't think many of the guys here will be marrying a princess or a sugar mummy. So its between enjoying singlehood and all our materialistic dreams, or having a happy family and all the intangible joys that come with it. I will be able to that drive a BMW and live in a condo if I stay single, but I am not sure whether I will be happier as compared to having a family, living in a HDB flat and driving a Toyota wish.

Lastly, I believe all the bros here do wish that they were married.... to the right women. What do you guys think?

Hi Oreo,

I like to put it this way. "Having gone through" and "seen it" are two not the same.

When I was single, I was like you. Going out often and really often to see foreign women. Life was like a fairy tale in the making. Like her, go out with her. Love her, then spend time together say sweet nothing.

BMW is a passing phase. We all go through that, with a bmw or whatever other material product.

Unfortunately, the right women is only... "right" at a certain point in time. Many a time, we don't realise that marriages are fluid and dynamic relationships. What seems to work today, may not have worked yesterday or will continue to work tomorrow.

There are too many variables. Friends may shape how we think and what we believe in. Surrounding life change events also shape the persons we are and how we see life later on.

Truth be told.... you really can't tell if you will be happier. What is very true and matter of fact is that you will have to make sacrifices in a marriage, especially when kid comes along. You have to put aside your BMW and "toys" to take care of the family. When the kid comes along, all the happy hours turn into sad ones.... without you knowing.

So, if you enjoy life now, don't bother about going into a marriage unless you don't mind giving up yourself altogether to serve another woman and you enjoy it. Fact is, why bother? If you are slightly uncertain, you may end up hurting someone else. Women shelf life not long.

PS: If I can relive life, I rather give marriage a pass and just be happy. Being happy doesn't mean must have a f buddy or gal to hug to bed every nite. It means being able to pursue the dreams I believe in and not having to answer why and whatever to someone else. Life already very short. Marriage is (unfortunately) a very good way to shorten life further.

[cmelater]

Nothing is perfect in this world. We man are simple just hope to find simple , not bad looking and understanding woman... However woman wants much more things from man ....sometimes find that man are in a difficult situation nowadays...everything have to please the woman...life will be a suffering til the end if everytime we have to scare this scare that..I had been through marriage life before and understand that is not easy at all...Woman will be controlling after marriage trust me.....before and after marriage is totally different world . After you have children more jia latz.....

If have kids, life will never be the same. The duties and obligations are big. Cannot anyhow throw in the towel. :|

Having a kid is like buying into an IPO without voting rights. Neither are there any guaranteed rights to subsequent year profits.

[zan888]

If have kids, life will never be the same. The duties and obligations are big. Cannot anyhow throw in the towel. :|

Having a kid is like buying into an IPO without voting rights. Neither are there any guaranteed rights to subsequent year profits.

Its more like buying a Greek junk bond which will almost default! Very few sons or daughters I know will return the investment the parents made on them. If they can visit sometimes and help out that is all can be expected.

[zan888]

Hi Oreo,

I like to put it this way. "Having gone through" and "seen it" are two not the same.

When I was single, I was like you. Going out often and really often to see foreign women. Life was like a fairy tale in the making. Like her, go out with her. Love her, then spend time together say sweet nothing.

BMW is a passing phase. We all go through that, with a bmw or whatever other material product.

Unfortunately, the right women is only... "right" at a certain point in time. Many a time, we don't realise that marriages are fluid and dynamic relationships. What seems to work today, may not have worked yesterday or will continue to work tomorrow.

There are too many variables. Friends may shape how we think and what we believe in. Surrounding life change events also shape the persons we are and how we see life later on.

Truth be told.... you really can't tell if you will be happier. What is very true and matter of fact is that you will have to make sacrifices in a marriage, especially when kid comes along. You have to put aside your BMW and "toys" to take care of the family. When the kid comes along, all the happy hours turn into sad ones.... without you knowing.

So, if you enjoy life now, don't bother about going into a marriage unless you don't mind giving up yourself altogether to serve another woman and you enjoy it. Fact is, why bother? If you are slightly uncertain, you may end up hurting someone else. Women shelf life not long.

PS: If I can relive life, I rather give marriage a pass and just be happy. Being happy doesn't mean must have a f buddy or gal to hug to bed every nite. It means being able to pursue the dreams I believe in and not having to answer why and whatever to someone else. Life already very short. Marriage is (unfortunately) a very good way to shorten life further.

I agree with most of what you have said. Marriage is not an event but a continual work in progress and all relationships are dynamic and evolving.

We men marry because we feel we want to secure a certain woman for what she can provide to us, be it emotional or physical support, however even if you can find that perfect woman but you would never expect circumstances to change and your perfect woman cease to be perfect. Certain changes we can expect, like less sex or less care or attention like a car which functions less efficiently over time. We on the other hand may cherish her less. So again, the relationship is dynamic, if you treat her better, she may or may not reciprocate but the chances are higher that she will.

Need also changes as different times of our lives we need different things or perhaps a different emphasis. Can our partner be accommodating or be a hurdle to those changes. Similarly can we be supportive or accommodation to her changing needs?

Marriage is not for all and for some its a burden. For some, it may be rewarding with accompanied effort. It is sort of a job which you can sign up for and you know nothing about, which demands are always changing but the cost of resigning is very high lol.

[cmelater]

I agree with most of what you have said. Marriage is not an event but a continual work in progress and all relationships are dynamic and evolving.

We men marry because we feel we want to secure a certain woman for what she can provide to us, be it emotional or physical support, however even if you can find that perfect woman but you would never expect circumstances to change and your perfect woman cease to be perfect. Certain changes we can expect, like less sex or less care or attention like a car which functions less efficiently over time. We on the other hand may cherish her less. So again, the relationship is dynamic, if you treat her better, she may or may not reciprocate but the chances are higher that she will.

Need also changes as different times of our lives we need different things or perhaps a different emphasis. Can our partner be accommodating or be a hurdle to those changes. Similarly can we be supportive or accommodation to her changing needs?

Marriage is not for all and for some its a burden. For some, it may be rewarding with accompanied effort. It is sort of a job which you can sign up for and you know nothing about, which demands are always changing but the cost of resigning is very high lol.

Its more like a gamble, than a job. The stakes are half of the man's assets. hahaha. For the woman, the cost is greater cos its her youth and time at stake.

I also like to look at it like an IPO where the man get the shares, but not a right to the profits and no rights to vote at all. :D

[cmelater]

Its more like buying a Greek junk bond which will almost default! Very few sons or daughters I know will return the investment the parents made on them. If they can visit sometimes and help out that is all can be expected.

Greek bonds still can be saved. :D There are interested parties who will try to save Greece.

Kids are more like the guys calling from Washington and asking for money. When you do get such calls, you better siam cos this is a scam and more obvious than those calls from Nigeria. :eek:

[Captainoceania77]

Its more like a gamble, than a job. The stakes are half of the man's assets. hahaha. For the woman, the cost is greater cos its her youth and time at stake.

I also like to look at it like an IPO where the man get the shares, but not a right to the profits and no rights to vote at all. :D

In Australia is much worst ..even cohabit, the woman still can claim from the man...the law is call de facto ....man nowadays is very jia latz..the law dont support at all.The tide has change , male chauvinist had been perish forever.

[Captainoceania77]

Its more like buying a Greek junk bond which will almost default! Very few sons or daughters I know will return the investment the parents made on them. If they can visit sometimes and help out that is all can be expected.

Dont ever think of returns from son.....when they got marry thats it..everything will be under control by his oc.

[cmelater]

In Australia is much worst ..even cohabit, the woman still can claim from the man...the law is call de facto ....man nowadays is very jia latz..the law dont support at all.The tide has change , male chauvinist had been perish forever.

Ermmm get out of all these "developed" states? Its bullshit.... If you read the news, even the founders lee and goh of ezra are fighting to split assets. Since when did this happen in human history? I think it only happened when the brits and europeans brought modernisation to the rest of the world and rights started to become "the" thing to beware of....

[Jevv]

Nothing is perfect in this world. We man are simple just hope to find simple , not bad looking and understanding woman... However woman wants much more things from man ....sometimes find that man are in a difficult situation nowadays...everything have to please the woman...life will be a suffering til the end if everytime we have to scare this scare that..I had been through marriage life before and understand that is not easy at all...Woman will be controlling after marriage trust me.....before and after marriage is totally different world . After you have children more jia latz.....

I think being controlling depends on certain woman after marriage??

I heard frm my guy fren tat his wife is controlling but not tat extreme...for example, she has all his friends, (ex) colleagues contact numbers...he says tat in order to save himself from all the interrogations, he rather tell her everything firsthand...his wife even go thru his Facebook acct & blocked his ex-gf..

in fact, he is still in contact with his ex-gf (the gal b4 his oc)...his wife knws abt it coze she did saw their smses before...but now tat his r/ship with his ex-gf has escalated, those late nite dates & steamy msgs is definitely not to his wife knowledge:)

[LeeHsienLoong]

Any bro facing the famous Daughter-In-Law vs Mother-In-Law problems? :D