Have you ever regretted?

[funlovingboy]

It has been coming to 5 years. In these 5 years, the voice of her pleading me not to leave her, kept repeating in my mind. Like a dormant fire, it would surface every now and then to engulf me in a depression.

I still remember the moment when I first saw her. That lovely smile and that charming face were what that first attracted me to her. Through my friend, we came to know each other. We were then in our teens. We did not have much money to really enjoy life. Perhaps just enough to catch a movie once in a blue moon. That's all. But honestly speaking, we were really happy. Though I may not realise it then, but in retrospect, I have come to realise that the happiest moments in life may not require the presence of money at all.

Since she entered my life, it totally changed. I became a different person. Whatever I do, I would think of her. I would always be missing her, even if I had just sent her home. Life was heaven.

Gradually, like many others, loving a person soon turned into a habit. I realised that I no longer missed her or looked forward to meeting her as much as I did in the past. I questioned my love for her. I did not know if my love for her had subsided. I made myself believed it, or so I thought. She had stayed faithfully by my side even in the lowest moment of my life, refusing to even entertain any calls from her suitors. She firmly trusted that I was the one who would take care of her for the rest of her life. And how I had betrayed her trust.

We were together for coming to 2 years. It was near Christmas. I called her and it began with our usual casual conversation. Midway through it, I told her that I realised that I could not be with her anymore. I wanted a break-up. She was devastated. Someone who was the closest person to her was to be a stranger suddenly. She cried. Through her tears, she pleaded for a second chance and asked what was wrong with her. She was willing to change anything about her, as long as I was willing to be by her side. I was adamant. I refused. After a few words of consolation, I put down the phone. I thought I did the right thing. No point dragging the relationship if I did not love her anymore, I told myself.

Soon, days turned into weeks and months. Slowly but surely, I began to realise that I had never stopping loving her. Just that it had transformed into a habit. She was still in my mind. Since her entry to my life, her images had been forever etched there. I thought I could forget her easily. How wrong I was. After a few months of mental torture, I called her for the first time since our break-up. I told her my feelings. This time, I was the one pleading for a second chance. She flatly declined. This was retribution in its best form. I was heartbroken. But who could I blame for my plight. I fully deserved it.

Though I could no longer have her by my side, I still sincerely wish her well. I heard from my friends that soon after our break-up, she slowly picked up the bits and pieces and moved on with her life. She subsequently found a new boyfriend. Someone who loved her wholeheartedly, someone who was totally different from me. Perhaps this was the best course.

As I continued to venture down the road of life, inside my heart, I had quietly hoped that I had never made that call. To be frank, till now, I still do not know when I can forget her and stop pinning for her. It was a lost hope. Maybe she is better off without me. Maybe I should keep trying to forget her. Maybe, just maybe......

[asdfghjkl]

bro.. i dun quite understand.. :o

[dakboyslim]

bro.. i dun quite understand..
i do..... :D
ask me la..... :p

[whitegals]

bro.. i dun quite understand.. :o

He regrets leaving her....

Eh bro, always look forward, and remember, a good horse does not eat gostan grass!

[jackylee]

This world.....desires......everything results in pain.....amithbha.

[ProblemPrincess]

this is life..... things got to move on......
i understand your pain, but what to do?
she had moved on in her life, so can you.
see open bro.

[funlovingboy]

bro.. i dun quite understand.. :o

bro,

In short, I deeply regret my action, as rightfully pointed out by some of the bros here. However, I am comforted by the fact that I had known her and had loved her.

For the rest of the bros, my sincere appreciation for your very kind words. Thanks! In fact, I will be settling down with my current gf soon. Just that I do hope to get over this episode and start life anew. I do not wish to be unfair to my wife-to-be. So one of the best ways is perhaps to take a walk down the memory lane and penned down whatever my memory served me.

[Reaper]

Till this very day...I still love my very first GF....y??? bcoz its my first..... keep the good memories....throw away the bad...sometimes it good to remeber the past..because it reminds us of where we come from and who we are today.....

but never let it control your life......life goes on whether u want it to or not..so might as well carry on living your life and njoy wat lies ahead of you.. take it as a learning experience so that you would commit the same mistake again.....

CHEERS

[Mightaswell]

Till this very day...I still love my very first GF....y??? bcoz its my first..... keep the good memories....throw away the bad...sometimes it good to remeber the past..because it reminds us of where we come from and who we are today.....

but never let it control your life......life goes on whether u want it to or not..so might as well carry on living your life and njoy wat lies ahead of you.. take it as a learning experience so that you would commit the same mistake again.....

CHEERS

Bro Reaper,
I think you mean "you would NOT commit"...

My nick as you can see is "mightaswell". Why? Because after 11 yrs of marriage and two beautiful daughters, my (soon to be ex) wife has decided to call it a day to our marriage, despite the sacred vows and oaths. So I think to myself, I might as well accept her decision and carry on with my life. There is after all, a silver lining on every cloud.

So, I am packing my bags and returning to the home of my forebears. It will be strange to live a bachelor lifestyle again after so many years but with sufficient Vitamin M, I am hoping that there is some SYT out there who will help me cope :p

For those of my cheonging bros who are married (and hope to remain so), my advise is to take care of your wife and be sensitive to their needs and desires (and I don't mean just sexually). Women don't always tell you what they are thinking - they expect us to read their minds - and the happy man is the one who can do just that.

To bro funlovingboy, don't look back - look to the future. Broken hearts are part of the trials and tribulations of life. There is a reason for everything that happens in our lives - call it fate or destiny - but, from an older man (i.e. me), don't regret the things that you do, right or wrong. The only regret would be when you are too old, to say, "IF ONLY...."

[Soul_Reaper]

Bro Reaper,
My nick as you can see is "mightaswell". Why? Because after 11 yrs of marriage and two beautiful daughters, my (soon to be ex) wife has decided to call it a day to our marriage,
For those of my cheonging bros who are married (and hope to remain so), my advise is to take care of your wife and be sensitive to their needs and desires (and I don't mean just sexually).

Bro Reaper.....not only our nicks r similar.....our lives sound similar too. My wife oso called it quits this year so I understand your situation.
But I dun agree your advise to take care of the wifey coz I was exemplary husband....never cheong...always at home when got free time....totally changed my lifestyle from cheongster to homebody....and never taochiak outside ......in the end still kenna divorced!
Hiaz...wasted 7 years of my life married to her...i mean just imagine the number of SYTs I could have bonked all these time:D

Soul_Reaper

[Soul_Reaper]

In short, I deeply regret my action, as rightfully pointed out by some of the bros here. However, I am comforted by the fact that I had known her and had loved her.

bro.....man proposes god disposes......consider u 2 "you yuan wu fen".
Maybe fate meant this episode as a learning lesson for u so that u may treat your next GF better.....or maybe u r like me....destined to remain a cheongster all your life....kekeke


Soul_Reaper

[imaginative]

"Life can only be understood backwards; But it must be lived forwards."

"Yesterday is gone and there's nothing you can do about it".

- quoted from some motivational cards

Sigh.. I think i am rather envious of Bro MightAsWell.

[bernie]

i had a ex gf who loved me alot even til now. she is stil waitin 4 me. i know dat she is the kind who can b a very gd wife n mother. she stick wif with throughout the days when i m down n out n dry ( bo lui ). she simply pays 4 everytink from food 2 transport, bills , clothings. she buys eevrytink 4 me. even my briefs.... somore she dun buy cheap stuffs. at least a polo ralph t-shirt or mont blanc card holder. but shes nt rich earning abt 2k /mth onli. when i had no money, she will transfer money in2 my acc n pay my hp bills secretly......

but den the problem is after staying 2geter 4 abt 2 yrs, i felt dat my love 4 her had vanished. everytime i c her, i hope dat time will pas quickly. we were jus goin through the process of being 2geter. finaly i broke off with her on christmas eve a few yrs ago...


here cums the problem which i ned bros 2 help:

i duno whether i still love her anot now. but i would b waken by nitemares of she having a new bf or gettin married. n i will b damn bad mood n gloomy. dis had been hapening 4 the past yrs since i broke off wif her. n deep inside my heart i noe dat if dat was true, i wont b able 2 take it.

i duno wat the fuck m i doin. izit plainly selffish on my part or wat? i noe dat she will accept me anitime if i cal her. but den i duno wats stoping me. i m afraid 2 hurt her again. but den i m afraid dat when i cal her, i will receive bad news. aniway i oso find it very hard 2 put in words. hope bros here wont find it blur......

pls enlighten.....

[vesfreq]

To know is pain. Not knowing will only lead to a wandering mind.

I knew my ex more than 2 years ago. I left her with tears on her cheeks and didn't know how I mustered the courage to tell her. The only thing which travelled through my mind was that I felt suffocated by her paranoia and having to clear her senseless suspicions.

No doubt I liked her a lot. On the other hand, I realised that I had to let go of a relationship which was more pain than anything else. Since two years ago, whenever I see couples strolling down the shopping mall (which I used to go with her), I would remember those sweet memorable moments I had with her.

She was the one and only girl I met before who would help cook lunch for me, during those hard days. Yet, she made me want to strive harder and to make the next girl in my life a happier one.

More than 2 years after the break up, I'm still looking. Sigh.... Its the emotion and memory which make a man a stronger one.

[imaginative]

Sweet memory.. yes, it was sweet, and now bitter to recall. Memory makes me feel the pain. It's my weakness that hurt my "dear dear". Until now I still don't have the courage to pick up the phone to call her. I still have her pic as the wall paper of my desk top.

for the bro whose ex-gf is still waiting, pls wait no more. follow your heart or you will regret. To tell whether you still love her:
1. Who is the person that you would like to call FIRST when you have a piece of good news?
2. Who is the one person that you want to share your feelings and secrets?
3. Who is the one person that you are willing to die for?

Just IMHO.

[thaivisitor]

To be frank, till now, I still do not know when I can forget her and stop pinning for her. It was a lost hope. Maybe she is better off without me. Maybe I should keep trying to forget her. Maybe, just maybe......
Why try to forget her?????:confused:

My 1st ex-wife whom I've broken up with more than 17 years ago, is still fondly in my memory. Do I still love her til today? You bet!

But life goes on.... bro, life goes on.

Cheers
Tee Vee:)

[Mightaswell]

Sigh.. I think i am rather envious of Bro MightAsWell.

Yes, I am looking forward to a good many years of cheonging with a clear conscience, but only because it's a Hobson's choice. Given a choice however, I think I will still take my "family" life, with wife and kids. Since that's not to be, WL's and FL's will have to do :p

One added advantage is that I can now afford a lot more without having to upkeep a family :D

[funlovingboy]

[QUOTE=bernie]
here cums the problem which i ned bros 2 help:

i duno whether i still love her anot now. but i would b waken by nitemares of she having a new bf or gettin married. n i will b damn bad mood n gloomy. dis had been hapening 4 the past yrs since i broke off wif her. n deep inside my heart i noe dat if dat was true, i wont b able 2 take it.[QUOTE=bernie]

bro,

i strongly suggest that you give this a very careful thought. from what you revealed, it seems rather clear to me that you still love her a lot. perhaps your love for her has never vanished. it has been hidden at a corner of your heart, waiting for the appropriate moment to surface. the only fear is that it will surface only too late.

you got to make up your mind soon. the worst thing to happen is the time when you call her, asking for a reconciliation, only to find out that she is attached.

i had gone through this path of agony and have been constantly tormented by it. from this relationship, i have learnt a hell lot. indeed, i have become a better boyfriend and to be honest, my current girlfriend is the only one whom i have done so much for. i have finally learnt something which men tend to neglect. i have learnt to cherish and treasure.

[funlovingboy]

this is life..... things got to move on......
i understand your pain, but what to do?
she had moved on in her life, so can you.
see open bro.

thanks bro. indeed, i should move on. no point hampering after such a thought anymore. thank you for your advice. :)

[funlovingboy]

To bro funlovingboy, don't look back - look to the future. Broken hearts are part of the trials and tribulations of life. There is a reason for everything that happens in our lives - call it fate or destiny - but, from an older man (i.e. me), don't regret the things that you do, right or wrong. The only regret would be when you are too old, to say, "IF ONLY...."

bro,

i fully agree with you. i do not wish to have any regrets when i have aged. it was fate that brought us together and it was also fate that we parted. thank you for your advice :)

[funlovingboy]

"Life can only be understood backwards; But it must be lived forwards."

"Yesterday is gone and there's nothing you can do about it".

- quoted from some motivational cards

wow bro, some nice quotes you have here. indeed inspiring and i shall remember them. thank you :)

[funlovingboy]

Maybe fate meant this episode as a learning lesson for u so that u may treat your next GF better

bro,

i have really learnt a lot and well, this current relationship is the first time when i have actually treated a girl just the way they should be treated. thank you for your advice :)

[funlovingboy]

Why try to forget her?????:confused:

My 1st ex-wife whom I've broken up with more than 17 years ago, is still fondly in my memory. Do I still love her til today? You bet!

But life goes on.... bro, life goes on.

bro,

you are right. instead of harbouring any thoughts of a reconciliation, it will be better to have her in my memory. one of the best thing that had ever happened to me was to know her and to love her.

[funlovingboy]

Till this very day...I still love my very first GF....y??? bcoz its my first..... keep the good memories....throw away the bad...sometimes it good to remeber the past..because it reminds us of where we come from and who we are today.....

but never let it control your life......life goes on whether u want it to or not..so might as well carry on living your life and njoy wat lies ahead of you.. take it as a learning experience so that you would commit the same mistake again.....

CHEERS

bro,

for a long while, i was trying to grab a hold of my life. what you advise are right. i should carry on with my life and enjoy whatever that come my way. life is too short for any regrets. thank you for your advice :)

[Mightaswell]

Why try to forget her?????:confused:

My 1st ex-wife whom I've broken up with more than 17 years ago, is still fondly in my memory. Do I still love her til today? You bet!

But life goes on.... bro, life goes on.

Cheers
Tee Vee:)

Now that we seem to have resolved the issue for bro funlovingboy, how about the rest of us? Bro Thaivisitor, great that you still think fondly of your ex after all these years. But who split with who? If she was the one that left, did you not initially feel bitter etc? In my case, it is the feeling of betrayal and especially the breakup of the family with the kids being the innocent victims - all because my other half wants "something different". And boy, is she going to get something different - paying all the bills for a start kekeke

[milffella]

As I continued to venture down the road of life, inside my heart, I had quietly hoped that I had never made that call. To be frank, till now, I still do not know when I can forget her and stop pinning for her. It was a lost hope. Maybe she is better off without me. Maybe I should keep trying to forget her. Maybe, just maybe......

never fear bro, if u really like her keep her , there are too many women around..

so many women.....so little time...:D

[sundial]

For me I didn't realise how much I love my wife until i was jobless for almost 1 yr. She was there for me all the time, nvr pressure me nor looked down on me.

Before that I though i didnt love her as much, as i married her for the sake of been convience as our r/ship was over 8 yrs and breaking out was hard.

[funlovingboy]

For me I didn't realise how much I love my wife until i was jobless for almost 1 yr. She was there for me all the time, nvr pressure me nor looked down on me.

Before that I though i didnt love her as much, as i married her for the sake of been convience as our r/ship was over 8 yrs and breaking out was hard.

things we have usually taken for granted are normally the best things that have happened in our lives. fun, eg sex, are what we men constantly seek for in the prime of our lives. but it is love, esp from our wives, that will acompany us for the rest of our lives, be it for good times or bad times. bro, i must say that you will surely the envy of all men.

[oakleyeug]

I seriously regretted my choice also, I thought of penning it down here but did not have the courage. Alot of things happened to me and I think I find myself super stupid, at times I wanted to shout out loud and make myself feel more comfortable.

She was a gal that I really love and will remember her for life, I got to know her during the NS days. If memory does not fail me it is during 1999 we got togather , I still remember during that times I was slim and happen to be hanging around with lots of ladies. I know her through phone and during that time she and her mate is interested in me, I choose her because she has gal next door look.

Things went well for the first year, we did not quarrel and she was very supportive towards my NS duties (1 week at least 5 Ambulance Duty stand by for air force). I always make time for her, life was good and happy. 1 day I realized god is playing a trick on me, he send in another lady to test me. I fell for it like a sucker, I broke off with her on the 1 year beach mark.

Then again god heard my plead after I fell out with the gal he send, she returned to me. I was happy and till 1 day I was temped, this gal happens to be a ex classmate of mine. I broke off again and this time it is very serious till it affects both of us emotionaly, I was again duped by this gal by the thousands and ended up losing my job.

I tried all but in vain, I missed her and told myself off for the stupid mistake. During that time I slim down by 10kg living on coffee and cigs, life was hard as I lost my job and everything turned against me.

Then 1 day I managed to come to China with a oppurnity, I managed a good job now and have got myself a gf. I admit she does not really understand me to the extend my ex did but I really appreciate a lot of actions she done for me.

I don know how much it will take for a guy to learn his lesson, but I learned mine through the hard way. Guys be responsible and don think you will not regret cause you never know.

Hope I am not too harsh, good luck to all in relationship.

Oak

[Clonie]

learnt mine the hard way too..if i get another chance with my ex which i'm hoping for, i'll never let her down again..sigh..y must we only treasure someone after we lose them..:(

[Jetfire]

learnt mine the hard way too..if i get another chance with my ex which i'm hoping for, i'll never let her down again..sigh..y must we only treasure someone after we lose them..:(

Facts of life bro, facts of life..... Many a times, we only realise how much we miss (that person/relationship) after we have actually lost it...

I think many bros & sis here one way or another has experienced similar incidents which makes us wished we can turn back the clock. Too many times I have also used the " what if...." to paint another possibility in my life which I wished I can change....

However, I learnt that with such bad experiences, we must also learn to cherish what we have presently. It may not last forever, but at least we get to enjoy the present and will always remember it for life....

[ballzballz]

Eh bro, always look forward, and remember, a good horse does not eat gostan grass!

I follow another saying "got gostan grass dun eat, not neccessary a good horsey.":p

[oakleyeug]

learnt mine the hard way too..if i get another chance with my ex which i'm hoping for, i'll never let her down again..sigh..y must we only treasure someone after we lose them..:(


A matter of fact is guys never know how to treasure a gal, I myself have patched back 1 time and I also promised to treat her better but who knows sometimes small head wins the war.

Now I treasure my gf by not fooling around outside and also no outside sex, even though I am tempted but I tell myself the painful lesson that I have learn.

Oak

[mr_miyagi]

I follow another saying "got gostan grass dun eat, not neccessary a good horsey.":p

Excellent saying, it's been awhile since I came across the word "gostan", very funny :D