A fling with divorcee colleague and got her pregnant...

[joncheong]

Anyone had experience of making a colleague pregnant...she is a divorcee and not attached at this moment...while i'm married....she said she wants to keep the child and said she is willing to be a third party...as long as i be a good dad to the kid....

any suggestions on whether she will be vengeful and attempt all sorts of stuff later on?

[AgentSmith]

九死一生 ..............

[Hooters666]

You fucked and now you are fucked now. In hokkien this situation is referred as Tiao Tu literally stuck to cupboard.

[diputs1269]

Good luck to TS, she is looking for someone to lean on.

[unsung80]

Can sell this story to midiacorpse.... how can life get much worse!

[Dontdoit]

Before you actually commit to her, do check if the kid is yours.

If she's willing to be a 3rd party, do not take her word for it.
After the kid is born, she can't take the stress handling it alone, sure come looking for you.

Assuming you got the time and money for your "mistress", when your wife finds out about it, :D. Good luck to you. Either way

[steeely75]

Take the kid. Its yours. Maybe its just me lah, that's what I would do.

[FatSpider]

better know wat u up against, else suntzi 36

[Obeliskseamus]

Man holds on to their promises.

Woman changes as when the situation arises.

Most of the time.......

[whatdoido]

Bro, what will happen if your wife find out?
The child will be proof of your adultery

[MoJoe313]

Women confirm vengeful. When there is a child involved, it is going to be very complicated. Say have child is easy. In moments of stress, you think she will let you go? So easy to bring up a child alone for 20 years ah?

[navras]

Bro, you need to think very hard with your big head.
You will be dead meat if ever your OC found out.
When children is involved, very messy to handle.

[Soignie]

You need to consult an attorney, if she is pregnant with your child you are about to get exactly what you thought you were giving her....a good fucking.

[MonoTones]

TS, Good luck, In Chinese there is this saying: 偷吃要插嘴, (Eat remember to clean your mouth)

[enzer88]

Anyone had experience of making a colleague pregnant...she is a divorcee and not attached at this moment...while i'm married....she said she wants to keep the child and said she is willing to be a third party...as long as i be a good dad to the kid....

any suggestions on whether she will be vengeful and attempt all sorts of stuff later on?

Bro, if u still love ur wife n ur family, don't get into this agreement with ur colleague......I always believe to hav a cup of milk outside but not bringing the cow home. Unless u don't love ur wife anymore then u can hav as many mistress as u like.

[OsamaBinLaden]

Anyone had experience of making a colleague pregnant...she is a divorcee and not attached at this moment...while i'm married....she said she wants to keep the child and said she is willing to be a third party...as long as i be a good dad to the kid....

any suggestions on whether she will be vengeful and attempt all sorts of stuff later on?


why did u get yourself into this shit in the first place..?? and why u so silly ah..?? want to shit but must know how to clean up your shit also lah... haiz...

easy thing to do... DO NOT ADMIT... how u can confirm guarantee chop sign seal and delivered that the kid is yours...?!?!

[Skarlett0]

I agree that women change their mind faster than lightning. But not everyone are the same. Ts you just gotta weigh how much this relationship weigh to u. If the child is really yours and you refuse to admit it... It's very cruel. You know, karma is a bitch.

I'm speaking from a point of a view as someone's "mistress". I do not ask for allowance for my child. Since the day I found out I was pregnant till giving birth and now having a child, every single cent I spent is my hard earn money. I even had to take a taxi to the hospital on day of delivery on my own, nobody held my hand. Of cos naturally the child bears my surname. I was determined to do this in my own because the father of my child did not tell me in exact words to keep the child. And the baby, he is innocent. I'm just trying to tell you that it is possible that she doesn't mind being the mistress especially she is a divorcee now. If she was single, I'm not too sure if it would be really true. If I was single, at the prime of my age and no lack of suitors but I stupidly chose to be with this married dude and get stuck in this super sticky situation, I think it's possible to have someone like me out there.

Although I think it is really unfair for your wife, but you stir this shit out yourself. Be responsible for what you did because the child is innocent. He/she did not ask to be conceived. Many say karma is bullshit, but I have watched many fall because of the shit they did.

Talk to friends who know you well and can keep the secret for you.All the best to you, and the unborn child. Good luck.

[thickhead]

I am going to get points deducted for what I am going to say. Worse, I will get bad karma.

Please tell her this:
(a) go for an abortion
(b) if she insists on giving birth, the relationship ends
(c) and you will not be responsible for the child

That is what you must tell her. However at the end of the day you have to be responsible for the abortion or for the child. No escape.

The most innocent people are your wife and kids. Please cherish them more. Stop your philandering days.

To whatever gods may be, please forgive me tor giving such sinful advice. What I suggested is the most logical for TS. :(

[acidicavex]

What done cannot be undone.

1) choose now that one legit one non legit
2) walk one step past one day
3) wait for all hell to break lose when the confrontation comes.
4) regardless u are at the losing end.

If i recall if she manage to prove with DNa u will need to support the cHild also.

[ah rat]

TS,It is good that u able to find a divorcee to piak. I have a friend who too trying to find 1,but no luck for him.
But never leave anything in her :)

[acidicavex]

Oh TS whether she will be vengeful only u know better than anyone here. Cause u screw her n unload into her.

The one tHing i can see if she is vengeful is it is going to cause u dearly.

Your job, family, kids, life.

[Greendevil]

TS, she may be true on her words now. but the definition of a good father varies from one to one. you just dont know when it will hit back on you especially woman been such a volatite creature. you are on the edge of the cliff.

[centrinocock]

Hi ts, be fair to that baby, who should he call father when he grow up? How do he draw his family picture during his school time? If you want to keep the baby you have to Tok to your wife. This thing will not end in 2 or 30year. It will be in your life forever.

Wish you good luck.

[Soltt]

God bless you .
your wife/family will be hurt , on the other hand , the baby is innocent.

Pls do not kill A life . There are many people who wanted baby but not able to.
I feel ( might be wrong though ), the most appropriate way is to let live the baby , put up for adoption to people who do not have kid but wanted to.

PLEASE DO NOT end the life . The baby doesn't have a choice.

[arsenic401]

You fuck her physically, she fuck u literally. Good luck!

[thickhead]

I am going to get points deducted for what I am going to say. Worse, I will get bad karma.

Please tell her this:
(a) go for an abortion
(b) if she insists on giving birth, the relationship ends
(c) and you will not be responsible for the child

That is what you must tell her. However at the end of the day you have to be responsible for the abortion or for the child. No escape.

The most innocent people are your wife and kids. Please cherish them more. Stop your philandering days.

To whatever gods may be, please forgive me tor giving such sinful advice. What I suggested is the most logical for TS. :(

"You deserved a zap for giving that kind of advice" by some anonymous person.

3 points zapped. Well I expected that. As if I just lost 3 pieces of gold!

Abortion is very controversial and in US, it divides opinions and sometimes people vote just base on the candidate's view on it. If abortion is an act of murder, which probably is, why is it allowed almost everywhere? Because the sacrifice of an unborn life sometimes relieves his/her parents years of sufferings.

I shan't say further on this topic as it is not suitable in this forum, maybe I should do that in a religious forum.

On the topic of this thread, one brother suggested adoption. It sounds nice but unlikely that the mother would want to suffer nine months, put up the child for adoption and in the end loses the man. The best way is for TS to walk away from this, unless he wants to divorce his current wife. Well, another point-zapping suggestion!

[ljdevil]

yea man TS..karma is a bitch, wanna mess around can... but never mess with karma...

[wantanabee]

even James bond couldn't get himself out of this shit..

TS, you need aplenty of luck. but even so, you will be living in fear, cause you dont know whats coming and how to do deal with it...

[DemonicSS]

jon, hard as it might, I guess there's nothing much you can do, but hope for the best. So try not to worry. Easy to say, hard to do.

[jammer074]

I agree that womene their nd faster than lightning. But not everyone are the same. Ts you just gotta weigh how much this relationship weigh to u. If the child is really yours and you refuse to admit it... It's very cruel. You know, karma is a bitch.


Well done Skarlett.

You are a woman that is very independent and strong
Is a blessing for your child to have a wonderful mother like you.

[joncheong]

It was a moment of folly initially.... She got close to me ... Always shared her emotional stuffs with me and subsequently it went physical ... One thing led to the other ... Initially i hesitated if the child is mine .... But i am pretty sure she don't sleep around ... Am in deep shit this time ..

[Gd2day]

"You deserved a zap for giving that kind of advice" by some anonymous person.

3 points zapped. Well I expected that. As if I just lost 3 pieces of gold!

Abortion is very controversial and in US, it divides opinions and sometimes people vote just base on the candidate's view on it. If abortion is an act of murder, which probably is, why is it allowed almost everywhere? Because the sacrifice of an unborn life sometimes relieves his/her parents years of sufferings.

I shan't say further on this topic as it is not suitable in this forum, maybe I should do that in a religious forum.

On the topic of this thread, one brother suggested adoption. It sounds nice but unlikely that the mother would want to suffer nine months, put up the child for adoption and in the end loses the man. The best way is for TS to walk away from this, unless he wants to divorce his current wife. Well, another point-zapping suggestion!

Bro,

What you said is a purely pragmatic singaporean view. For that, I will up you back. I may not agree with your view but everyone is entitled to their own opinion and should not be penalised.

[Gd2day]

It was a moment of folly initially.... She got close to me ... Always shared her emotional stuffs with me and subsequently it went physical ... One thing led to the other ... Initially i hesitated if the child is mine .... But i am pretty sure she don't sleep around ... Am in deep shit this time ..

Bro,

The decision is the woman's, she is the one who is going to give birth.

One cannot cry over spilled milk, I just sympathise with your situation. The point is, when the truth comes out, every one will be hurt. But, rem, the truly innocent one is the unborn child.

We are all adults, it is up to you to choose the right path. In life, there are no right or wrong answers, just choices. I hate my wife, but I still choose to be with her for the last 14 years becos of our 2 beautiful daughters.

I just have one rule for myself, I will only have 2 daughters. This is my rule. You have to find your own rules. All the best.

Gd2day

[MoJoe313]

It was a moment of folly initially.... She got close to me ... Always shared her emotional stuffs with me and subsequently it went physical ... One thing led to the other ... Initially i hesitated if the child is mine .... But i am pretty sure she don't sleep around ... Am in deep shit this time ..

Deep shit it is. I think most bros here sympathize with you.

One thing I have learnt in this long journey. Its your life, not someone else's. After all the opinions, you have to decide what is best for you, your way.

Like someone here said, abortion is controversial. No one likes this topic.

My view is until it comes out to become a life, it is technically still not a life, which is why it is not criminal here and in most countries to abort. As a father, I do not even like what I am saying. But I think every women who opted to abort would have weighed the pros and cons to decide such.

Good luck TS. Even if we cant help you, do come here talk to us.

[MoJoe313]

I hate my wife, but I still choose to be with her for the last 14 years becos of our 2 beautiful daughters.


I feel you bro. We are stuck in our marriages because of our kids. I have since tried to love the enemy. Its a challenge everyday.....

[5ag1_Boar]

Here's a reality check for you: what does it mean to HER for you to be a good dad to the child?
Spend weekends with him (or her)?
Bring him out?
Pay for his expenses?
Go for parent teacher meeting?
Bring for holidays?

How are you going to afford, balance and hide this for the rest of your life?

Solution: nothing easy. You likely have to dump one or the other... and hope the one who got dumped doesn't make your life (including the one you choose) hell on earth.

Prepare to eat humble pie, get scolded by family and friends, even ostracized. Unless your fling is super understanding and forgiving, chances of keeping this under wraps is pretty low.

I sound harsh, but no offense meant. I went through something similar. In the end I chose the "less wrong" path, but my case easier cause she volunteer to abort. But I left her for my "legit" kid, and she made my life hell for 3 years.

There is no easy path in these matters, but I feel one should take the path that is most right according to ones personal values and principles... in order for more peace of mind in your future.

[skids]

Hi bro, sorry to hear your story, she got nothing to lose but u have everything to lose, braise yourself.... Wat is done cannot be undone.... I did foolish stuff myself too:/

[ah rat]

It was a moment of folly initially.... She got close to me ... Always shared her emotional stuffs with me and subsequently it went physical ... One thing led to the other ... Initially i hesitated if the child is mine .... But i am pretty sure she don't sleep around ... Am in deep shit this time ..

Bro,indeed u are in deep shit.Your Big head rule by small head :)

[sunhuan-con]

No choice TS...is a karma which you cant avoid...I feel sorry for your plight as this is one of a worst nightmare man can get. Anyway I will feel sorry for the baby. Whatever what happens TS still got to face the emotional stress. Go temple or church and pray hard .

[topcook1]

I have a friend who faced a similar situation like yours. In the end he ended in divorce and marry the 3rd party.

[newyorker88]

Dude, the best is to have a talk with the woman. If she is willing to bear the child alone. So it is best. Jacky Chan case is a good example. If she is not willing to do so, then you have to work out something.

1) Abortion? Not a good choice. If you believe in karma. Do go and chao du the baby.
2) Let others adopt the kid when the baby is born.
3) Share the burden of raising the kid?

Some time down the road, if you take option (3), your wife will find out. It would be either she choose to ignore it or make hell for you.

Whatever it is, better make your choice.

[gromit]

TS, Good luck, In Chinese there is this saying: 偷吃要插嘴, (Eat remember to clean your mouth)

Whahaha.... 插嘴 means poke mouth leh...:D should be this "檫嘴".

[audreyrhi]

I pity the unborn child. He/She is at the mercy of your decision now, no matter what decision it will be.

[nuclearkid]

My sympathies to you, bro. Do you happen to be on favorable terms with your wife? I would suggest you let her know about the situation up front. If you somehow survive the fallout, at least you won't have to worry about the other woman showing up at the door kicking up a storm. The next step is to let your colleague know you have divulged the matter to your wife. Its important that she is aware that she doesn't have you by the balls. Never believe for a moment she is going to be a single mum without turning to you when the going gets tough. I think she is seeking that psychological advantage to force your hand but maybe when she knows the gig is up, the way ahead is clearer for her. Don't leave the ball in her court. At least if the chickens come home to roost, it happened under your own terms. Sorry to hear about the mess, I really am.

[maxman]

Never believe for a moment she is going to be a single mum without turning to you when the going gets tough... Sorry to hear about the mess, I really am.

Of all the responses here, this one about being a single mother is probably the truest and wisest. Even if she was initially agreeable to be a single mother, she already mentioned her expectations of you being a good father. If I'm not mistaken, the law can still make you pay child support even though you never married her.

I would be badly shitting myself if I was in your situation, and I'm sure even men who aren't married and not planning to become a father would also be.

My signature below is true; that is, "Pussies are rarely free. They will eventually cost or trouble you." If you make a baby with one, you are almost surely going to pay for it.

[ah rat]

My signature below is true; that is, "Pussies are rarely free. They will eventually cost or trouble you." If you make a baby with one, you are almost surely going to pay for it.

Bro,I don't have free pussy luck :p :D

[ken_v2]

The thought of it, scare the shit out of me.

Yeah, the baby is innocent and since the mother wants to keep him/her, there is nothing u can do about that.

I think the best route now is to come clean with your wife. If she cannot accept the situation, there might be a divorce. look at it this way, when she discover sooner or later the conclusion is the same. If she accepts that, then u can work out the situation better with the 3rd party.

Good luck!

[screwu]

I hope TS is reading the good feedback here.
The views suggested very practical.

[tryying]

Woman can be heartless and hurt you plus family if they wanted to. Since she also got nothing to lose, why not die together? So, be wise, use condom when bonk, regardless she says ok to RAW or not. Cause got baby liao, she got the power to demand when the time is there!

[Smallandstrong]

She has decided to keep the child, since she has already stated that she is willing to be a third party. (Assuming she is early into her pregnancy, a decision of abortion right now may not be the best time. No, I am not for abortion. Just stating an opinion)

One way or another, talking her into an abortion won't work and may make matters worse too.

Pacifying her and giving in to her, is an option. But how long can that last till you or her breaks down and all hell breaks loose? Or when hell comes, would she not bring a paternity test paper to your home and confront your wife?

All of us here can give you plenty of advice.

More importantly, what is your stand? You will be the one walking through this winding road. What have you decided to do?

We Samsters here can only sympathize with your plight and console you at best.

Nonetheless dear bro, god bless, whichever road you walk. We make choices in life and live through the consequences (good, and bad).

P.s. please don't zap me, I am merely giving my humble opinion. Thank you.

[Skarlett0]

Ts, I forgot to say this..

Don't promise her anything that you can't achieve.
When she says she just want you to be a good father to the child, what are her definition of good, and whether you can meet that expectation of hers.
Don't give her any false hope.

Anyone can be a father, but to be a good father (parent) is never easy.


Good luck..

[alvinalonso]

Dear TS if u cant give the child a perfect family dun bring he/her to suffer in this world .... but in the first place u shall have a safety protection but everything is too late .

may god bless you
amen

[angurvadal]

Be a man . Admit yr mistake . The kid is innocent .

I was once in yr shoes . I took the other path . I regretted since . That kid is your flesh & blood . Do not be a coward like me .

As long you confirm the kid is yrs

[angurvadal]

Keep the innocent life

[porscheclub]

Dear TS,
How many months already? Some or most docs don't do abortion past 4 months so make your decision fast.

Bearing a child is 10 months affair but upbringing is a lifetime or at least the next 20yrs. This matter is not to be taken lightly as it involves not just the two of you but the families of three. You have to consider registration, insurance, medical, education on top of housing & milk etc etc. There is a lot of commitment on time, money, effort and you need to keep this in secrecy.

Which leads to the next problem, you need to bring the child out like any normal family. Would you dare to take the risk especially in Singapore?

In time to come, she will make you guilty for not spending time with the kid.

Correct me if I'm wrong. It is not possible to DNA the baby now till he's born or at least in tri-mester when the doc can poke a one-foot-long needle into her stomach to get samples which is a painful thing.

Look at the title. You called it "A fling" to begin with so there's no love, it was just lust. You fucking morons didn't practise safe sex.

My opinion is to stop all this nonsense now by visiting the doctor immediately or the next more humane option is to put up for adoption. But she has already offered to keep the baby which equals to a time bomb for you. Remember this, women are emotional beings and when it comes to her babies, they can be very protective & be more fearsome than men.

Now. If you're a very capable man of multitasking & can afford this lifetsyle of having two families, then congratulations on the baby!

[porscheclub]

Part 2. How long have you known this lady? What's her background and are the two of you suitable in the long term? Some mistresses are keeper but most are not and they all need $ to survive especially during the first 5 yrs of the child because her work will be affected & can you afford her a maid?

Next. Since she's a colleague, how are the two of you going through this together in office? Her stomach will grow over the next few months and there'll be loose mouths. Are you going to be especially caring towards her?

All these assuming your family don't find out.

I didn't read if you have kids and if you do you'll understand better.

Your lesson will also serve as a reminder for those singles & students out there who are not ready for a child or marriage. We read about those who boast about doing raw but when the lady misses her period, who's going to have the last laugh?

If we marry the wrong partner, it'll be a painful affair for both and when the unwanted child is born, he or she is a mirror of us so please practise Safe sex.

[nakorn]

It's better for TS to provide us with more background informations before we give him advices.:)

[crazyivan6636]

You should have just spent some spare change for a box of Postinor 2 or unloading on her tummy saving the trouble for both.

If the kid's yours, you might not have problems now, but wait till the little fella is past 6 years old or when reaching 12 ... they tend to want to know who daddy is.

If the deed was done in some 3rd world country far away, you might be safe. Here daddy is gonna have a good time explaining to people why he got an extra.

[ThunderMonkey]

Dear brother,
You can never gurantee how a person will remain true to their words.
As cruel as it seems,do rectify the mistake before you bring another life into this world.
It may be the cause that you will lose it all in the end.
Seek penance for the karma.
One may not believe in it.
But from someone who has seen karma serve its lessons,
I hope you come correct soon.

[mav3rick007]

I see many wise brothers & sisters giving gd & practical advice!
Hope TS will find a favorable solutions though it will bring pain to either party.

[joncheong]

You should have just spent some spare change for a box of Postinor 2 or unloading on her tummy saving the trouble for both.

If the kid's yours, you might not have problems now, but wait till the little fella is past 6 years old or when reaching 12 ... they tend to want to know who daddy is.

If the deed was done in some 3rd world country far away, you might be safe. Here daddy is gonna have a good time explaining to people why he got an extra.

bro...it was an instance of small head ruling over the big one.... we usually bang with cap on...but we do do it raw as well occasionally but unload on her tummy etc....but that instance...i just couldn't control myself and lost it...unloaded everything into her...

[sicklymicky]

No advice here but just to share a rare exception story.

Got a friend who became pregnant but only knew she was the 3rd party after the guy confessed he has a family.

This guy is fucking rich and reputable so consequences could be dire if my friend tried to make a big issue out of it. Alternatively, she could request for the guy to be a "good dad" and provide financial support.

Strangely enough, my female friend chose none and decided to have a clean break and gave birth to the kid.

Now the kid is already grown up and my friend struggled through hell to bring her son up singlehandedly without ever requesting anything from that guy.

That bastard got lucky and I think my friend is really silly not to demand anything at all from him. The bad thing though, my friend has never allowed her son to see the father at all. Not sure how the guy feels that he cannot contact his real son since he was born.

[midnightbird]

Sorry to read what you are going through, brings back a lot of memories. I cannot give advise as at the end of the day, it is up to you to choose. Let me share my story, but you may not be as lucky.

I (married) had an affair with a (divorced) colleague too. I tried to break it off as it was not fair to her. I was feeding her sexual and affection needs (satisfying my own lust too), but as long as she gets those from me, she did not allow other suitors into her life.

Many times during the act, she will want me to shoot inside her. I refused as I know I cannot commit to her or the child. Like what the Bros here say, small head rule over big head. Eventually I did, when she was very sure it was safe to do so, and told me she love the feeling of warm spurts inside. (Whoever says shooting inside while doing it is not shiok, is a bloody liar)

上的山多，终遇虎。 it happened. She got pregnant. Lucky for me, she chose to abort. I was with her throughout. I witnessed the pain and suffering she went through, the physical weakness and metal suffering she went through during and after the abortion. It crushed me. We remained together for awhile. Till I could not take the guilt trips anymore. Guilt trips with "s" because I was wacked by more than the guilt of the abortion.

The guilt of denying my lover true happiness and family love (she always maintained that she would be happy, so long as I spent my limited free time with her).

The guilt of denying a child a chance at life.

The guilt of my wife's support for me when business failed. My wife would stuff some of her hard earnings into my wallet to help me get by, and i repaid her by spending it on meals and moments with my lover.

When I "awoke", I realized that I was worst than a beast. And deserved to be run down by a car.

My daughter (from my previous marriage, don't judge me, I was the devoted husband for 15yrs, providing for and loving my ex, till she had an affair with her colleague and wanted a divorced. Silly her, he was married with 2 kids. Happy to say she regreted her decision, but by then, I have met my current wife) in a way prevented me from doing anything silly.

Till this day, I am haunted by "I still miss you", "I regret killing our child" "why did u choose to end our love" kind of messages that appears sometimes in the middle of the night. Scared to death that my wife will one day see them.

The good (if any of this can be considered good) is that I have cleaned up my act. I cannot bear to ever hurt my wife, and I will never put another girl through the suffering my lover went through.

Sorry to have hijacked the thread with such a long response. Hope my story can help in your weighing of what to do next.

[MoJoe313]

Do you happen to be on favorable terms with your wife? I would suggest you let her know about the situation up front.

No offence but this is what you should never do. She will remember it till you are both 85 years old. You will also never win an argument for the next 50 years.

[MoJoe313]

When I "awoke", I realized that I was worst than a beast. And deserved to be run down by a car.


There is really no happy ending in an adultery.

[Soignie]

Sympathy, I have no sympathy for you as you were not raped, you knew the possibility but chose to play with fire. The sympathy I have is for the unborn child who is going to likely go through life without a father and for your wife (and any children she has born with you) as she had nothing to do with this situation. A woman is pregnant and her life is going to be changed forever, in some ways perhaps positive with the joy of being a parent but negative as well due to hardships and the difficulties being a single parent. IF the child is yours (DNA will prove) then you need to a). confess to your wife and beg forgiveness as well as making arrangements to provide at least financial support for your child or b). divorce your wife and marry the other woman (based on your comments I don't think you are deeply in love with her and that would be a failure). If the child is yours and you try to deny, no matter what the soon to be mother say, eventually the truth will become known and not only will child hate you but current wife will as well. Lastly if you deny the child and fail to provide name and support then you will know forever that you are a cowardly piece of shit and you can never hide from the face in the mirror.

[gunner77]

i only can say good luck to you bro


take care

[Xia406]

It was a moment of folly initially.... She got close to me ... Always shared her emotional stuffs with me and subsequently it went physical ... One thing led to the other ... Initially i hesitated if the child is mine .... But i am pretty sure she don't sleep around ... Am in deep shit this time ..

Time to be a REAL man. Take responsibility for your action.

Either you get her to abort the child, or you provide support for the child till you leave the world.

The people I feel real sorry for is your wife, your family and your colleague.

[onegoal]

For those who wish to have kids.
they will celebrate with joy.

what happens later? Just go through the shit.
The real fact is you have a child.

Your wife has to accept it.

As for financial issues, it depends how you cope. It's still possible if your colleague is working.

[SP2010]

It was a moment of folly initially.... She got close to me ... Always shared her emotional stuffs with me and subsequently it went physical ... One thing led to the other ... Initially i hesitated if the child is mine .... But i am pretty sure she don't sleep around ... Am in deep shit this time ..

Sry to say this, it's more likely you took advantage of her vulnerable situation to satisfy your own lust ..
You're married & yet you screwed her raw.
Well the truth hurts & now is the moment you have to pay for your folly ?
Anyway, hope you can find a solution however messy & hellish .
My siggy says it all ..:D

[maxman]

Bro,I don't have free pussy luck :p :D

Actually, for a very long time, I wanted to write the signature as "Pussies are never free..." Then I chose the word rarely, I emphasize rarely.

The most important lesson is that once a man makes a baby/life with a woman, he will surely have to pay for it, at least in any country that has an established legal system. Pay his whole life for the child he created regardless of married or not to the woman whose pussy he had.

[SH149]

A moment of lust caused today agony

Think carefully what u shall do next as no matter what u choose damage been done as there is no turning back

你犯了全天下男人都会犯的错

[Love888]

Have been reading from page one till the end. My two cents worth of comments.

Because of the Singaporean upbringing we are incline to, that a man MUST take full responsibility of one actions. Good or not than would be debateable.

On this issue I would like to relate a story

Maybe people growing up in difference country have a difference perspective in life.

Many years ago have been posted to the Philippines for a projects that need at least five years stay to assist and finish the work to be done. After two years, wife decide to move back with the kids for school. Being alone with a land of Pinays, being moving around the clubs and have many girlfriends. All this while one of the local staffs that helps to arrange all the legal documents knows me and my family well. She been very close and we have a good time travelling to many provinces together. She would be my interpreter in the day time and a fantastic night time bed partner.

One day she announce am pregnant, the news came as a shock and my Singaporean mentality kicks in.
What should I do?
How do I face my wife?
How to take care of the mistress and baby if is not aborted?

However, Mistress say don’t worry not asking anything’s just let you know and that’s all, she would rather have a baby from me than some local guy. Afterall most local guy never take of the family. She still would be a single mother.

Fast forward, before I leave Manila have told the local manager to keep her and she is still working in the same company till now, after so many years she did not remarried or have any boyfriends. I feel rather guilty, however have supported her and the other son in anyway I could, up to now my wife does not know and this so call secret is still been kept between both of us for 15 years. Guess been lucky so far.

I guess people in this stage needs to have a clear mind be responsible of the actions..

As far as for me no condom to sex.

[nuclearkid]

No offence but this is what you should never do. She will remember it till you are both 85 years old. You will also never win an argument for the next 50 years.

Ahhh...but to be mentally tormented by the possibility of matters being blown open for the next 50 years? Perhaps you could live with that niggling feeling, frightened by shadows but I can't. I will choose to face the music now and on my own terms, not when its shoved in my face. I think its useful to deprive the other lady the potential for arm twisting. Once the affair is out in the open, she really has no leverage anymore.

[LonerLoner]

Sorry to read what you are going through, brings back a lot of memories. I cannot give advise as at the end of the day, it is up to you to choose. Let me share my story, but you may not be as lucky.

I (married) had an affair with a (divorced) colleague too. I tried to break it off as it was not fair to her. I was feeding her sexual and affection needs (satisfying my own lust too), but as long as she gets those from me, she did not allow other suitors into her life.

Many times during the act, she will want me to shoot inside her. I refused as I know I cannot commit to her or the child. Like what the Bros here say, small head rule over big head. Eventually I did, when she was very sure it was safe to do so, and told me she love the feeling of warm spurts inside. (Whoever says shooting inside while doing it is not shiok, is a bloody liar)

上的山多，终遇虎。 it happened. She got pregnant. Lucky for me, she chose to abort. I was with her throughout. I witnessed the pain and suffering she went through, the physical weakness and metal suffering she went through during and after the abortion. It crushed me. We remained together for awhile. Till I could not take the guilt trips anymore. Guilt trips with "s" because I was wacked by more than the guilt of the abortion.

The guilt of denying my lover true happiness and family love (she always maintained that she would be happy, so long as I spent my limited free time with her).

The guilt of denying a child a chance at life.

The guilt of my wife's support for me when business failed. My wife would stuff some of her hard earnings into my wallet to help me get by, and i repaid her by spending it on meals and moments with my lover.

When I "awoke", I realized that I was worst than a beast. And deserved to be run down by a car.

My daughter (from my previous marriage, don't judge me, I was the devoted husband for 15yrs, providing for and loving my ex, till she had an affair with her colleague and wanted a divorced. Silly her, he was married with 2 kids. Happy to say she regreted her decision, but by then, I have met my current wife) in a way prevented me from doing anything silly.

Till this day, I am haunted by "I still miss you", "I regret killing our child" "why did u choose to end our love" kind of messages that appears sometimes in the middle of the night. Scared to death that my wife will one day see them.

The good (if any of this can be considered good) is that I have cleaned up my act. I cannot bear to ever hurt my wife, and I will never put another girl through the suffering my lover went through.

Sorry to have hijacked the thread with such a long response. Hope my story can help in your weighing of what to do next.

I'll rep you the next time I log in. I am sorry for you.

For TS, the choice is yours. I think most replies are what I would have said or done. Since your mistress decide to keep the child, you have to decide which path to go. You can lose your wife or mistress or ménage à trois.

[MoJoe313]

Have been reading from page one till the end. My two cents worth of comments.

Because of the Singaporean upbringing we are incline to, that a man MUST take full responsibility of one actions. Good or not than would be debateable.

On this issue I would like to relate a story

Maybe people growing up in difference country have a difference perspective in life.

Many years ago have been posted to the Philippines for a projects that need at least five years stay to assist and finish the work to be done. After two years, wife decide to move back with the kids for school. Being alone with a land of Pinays, being moving around the clubs and have many girlfriends. All this while one of the local staffs that helps to arrange all the legal documents knows me and my family well. She been very close and we have a good time travelling to many provinces together. She would be my interpreter in the day time and a fantastic night time bed partner.

One day she announce am pregnant, the news came as a shock and my Singaporean mentality kicks in.
What should I do?
How do I face my wife?
How to take care of the mistress and baby if is not aborted?

However, Mistress say don’t worry not asking anything’s just let you know and that’s all, she would rather have a baby from me than some local guy. Afterall most local guy never take of the family. She still would be a single mother.

Fast forward, before I leave Manila have told the local manager to keep her and she is still working in the same company till now, after so many years she did not remarried or have any boyfriends. I feel rather guilty, however have supported her and the other son in anyway I could, up to now my wife does not know and this so call secret is still been kept between both of us for 15 years. Guess been lucky so far.

I guess people in this stage needs to have a clear mind be responsible of the actions..

As far as for me no condom to sex.

Felt a chill down my spine after reading your story. Its like leaving something behind in the Philippines. The joy can not be complete. He is your son yet he is so far away.

[mcyeoh]

Sorry to read what you are going through, brings back a lot of memories. I cannot give advise as at the end of the day, it is up to you to choose. Let me share my story, but you may not be as lucky.

I (married) had an affair with a (divorced) colleague too. I tried to break it off as it was not fair to her. I was feeding her sexual and affection needs (satisfying my own lust too), but as long as she gets those from me, she did not allow other suitors into her life.

Many times during the act, she will want me to shoot inside her. I refused as I know I cannot commit to her or the child. Like what the Bros here say, small head rule over big head. Eventually I did, when she was very sure it was safe to do so, and told me she love the feeling of warm spurts inside. (Whoever says shooting inside while doing it is not shiok, is a bloody liar)

上的山多，终遇虎。 it happened. She got pregnant. Lucky for me, she chose to abort. I was with her throughout. I witnessed the pain and suffering she went through, the physical weakness and metal suffering she went through during and after the abortion. It crushed me. We remained together for awhile. Till I could not take the guilt trips anymore. Guilt trips with "s" because I was wacked by more than the guilt of the abortion.

The guilt of denying my lover true happiness and family love (she always maintained that she would be happy, so long as I spent my limited free time with her).

The guilt of denying a child a chance at life.

The guilt of my wife's support for me when business failed. My wife would stuff some of her hard earnings into my wallet to help me get by, and i repaid her by spending it on meals and moments with my lover.

When I "awoke", I realized that I was worst than a beast. And deserved to be run down by a car.

My daughter (from my previous marriage, don't judge me, I was the devoted husband for 15yrs, providing for and loving my ex, till she had an affair with her colleague and wanted a divorced. Silly her, he was married with 2 kids. Happy to say she regreted her decision, but by then, I have met my current wife) in a way prevented me from doing anything silly.

Till this day, I am haunted by "I still miss you", "I regret killing our child" "why did u choose to end our love" kind of messages that appears sometimes in the middle of the night. Scared to death that my wife will one day see them.

The good (if any of this can be considered good) is that I have cleaned up my act. I cannot bear to ever hurt my wife, and I will never put another girl through the suffering my lover went through.

Sorry to have hijacked the thread with such a long response. Hope my story can help in your weighing of what to do next.
you deserved to be exposed..THAT WHY MEN LIKE YOU ARE WEAK AND PUNY...NO WONDER INNOCENT NEW GENERATION MEN HAVE LEARN THIS NASTY TRAIT FROM YOU...YOU PUNY INSECT.......PATHETIC AND DOWNRIGHT DUMB...

[mcyeoh]

Have been reading from page one till the end. My two cents worth of comments.

Because of the Singaporean upbringing we are incline to, that a man MUST take full responsibility of one actions. Good or not than would be debateable.

On this issue I would like to relate a story

Maybe people growing up in difference country have a difference perspective in life.

Many years ago have been posted to the Philippines for a projects that need at least five years stay to assist and finish the work to be done. After two years, wife decide to move back with the kids for school. Being alone with a land of Pinays, being moving around the clubs and have many girlfriends. All this while one of the local staffs that helps to arrange all the legal documents knows me and my family well. She been very close and we have a good time travelling to many provinces together. She would be my interpreter in the day time and a fantastic night time bed partner.

One day she announce am pregnant, the news came as a shock and my Singaporean mentality kicks in.
What should I do?
How do I face my wife?
How to take care of the mistress and baby if is not aborted?

However, Mistress say don’t worry not asking anything’s just let you know and that’s all, she would rather have a baby from me than some local guy. Afterall most local guy never take of the family. She still would be a single mother.

Fast forward, before I leave Manila have told the local manager to keep her and she is still working in the same company till now, after so many years she did not remarried or have any boyfriends. I feel rather guilty, however have supported her and the other son in anyway I could, up to now my wife does not know and this so call secret is still been kept between both of us for 15 years. Guess been lucky so far.

I guess people in this stage needs to have a clear mind be responsible of the actions..

As far as for me no condom to sex.
it just you are weak and pathetic...

[Superjam]

you deserved to be exposed..THAT WHY MEN LIKE YOU ARE WEAK AND PUNY...NO WONDER INNOCENT NEW GENERATION MEN HAVE LEARN THIS NASTY TRAIT FROM YOU...YOU PUNY INSECT.......PATHETIC AND DOWNRIGHT DUMB...

Bro. No one is perfect and you don't deserve to judge.
Can't you tell that these guys feel the pain even when writing this. And they do so to help others. Those who have not committed mistakes to be careful and those who have to find a path back.

Sharing these stories are not easy. Just relax and give some constructive advice rather than bashing them outright. Whatever has been done has been done. It's what we do from now that matters more

[Camryaltis]

Oh dear.....I can't offer any advice as I have not been in such a sticky situation before. I can only uphold u in my prayers.

[Jerko1975]

Good luck in whatever decision u made. It is a situation that no married man wants to get into. I had on several occasions wish to test waters with my female friends but held back. Spend some money to release is better than getting oneself into shit like this.

[Traid14k]

Good luck in whatever decision u made. It is a situation that no married man wants to get into. I had on several occasions wish to test waters with my female friends but held back. Spend some money to release is better than getting oneself into shit like this.

I fully agree... You pay $$$ not for the fuck, you pay to get rid of future trouble.

[Ho-Lee]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKeRBLYWGOs


Watch this...

[lostbird]

I fully agree... You pay $$$ not for the fuck, you pay to get rid of future trouble.

Bro well said...

[copper]

That’s hardly the best way to describe an unborn child. No matter what the history behind your present conundrum, there’s now a third person’s wellbeing you need to add to the equation. This child you’ve created is not a bargaining chip but a human being. Remember that no matter how much both of your behaviour suggests flaws in the description, you are the adults here. So what’s the answer? You certainly don’t want to subject this poor child to a lifetime of warring, resentful parenting, so I don’t think there’s any justification for you walking up the aisle together. If this woman really has connived to snare you rather than simply done her best to seduce you, then firmly and kindly disabuse her of the notion that the baby will cement you together for life.

[limjp]

bro, you confirmed the unborn child is yours?

[sadfa]

To TS.

From your posts, u got a gd job so u should be well educated. So u should know wad 2 do.

As far as I know, even the husband or father can't force a woman to abort even if t sperm is his n he dun wan t baby. And you can't force an abortion by spiking her coffee or kicking her down t stairs like in a lousy tcs drama.

God knows whether she's vengeful or demanding
Your only action is to start saving n hiding your money
When she demands money, you can give
When your wife divorce, at least u wun b dead broke

[thickhead]

To TS.

From your posts, u got a gd job so u should be well educated. So u should know wad 2 do.

As far as I know, even the husband or father can't force a woman to abort even if t sperm is his n he dun wan t baby. And you can't force an abortion by spiking her coffee or kicking her down t stairs like in a lousy tcs drama.

God knows whether she's vengeful or demanding
Your only action is to start saving n hiding your money
When she demands money, you can give
When your wife divorce, at least u wun b dead broke


Pragmatic advice. I seldom post but this topic is real and very troubling - that's why I am reading and posting. Let it be a warning to everyone about the consequence of one's actions.

It is a situation that TS does not have much control, even if he walks away! There is plentiful feedback from bros and sis here. TS, do read through, think about it, make a decision. Nobody knows what the outcome will be.

Unlike many other endeavours we undertake, none of the outcomes will be palatable. Sigh.

So far, we have only heard your side of the story. Nonetheless, like most bros here, I offer you my support - even though your future actions may or may not be what I approve of.

We each live our own lives.

[romeolin]

if u love her maybe u should look to divorce

[onlyhuman]

Ts, when u played with fire....u expected to get burnt.

Onlyhuman

[Ahxi]

My sympathies to you, bro. Do you happen to be on favorable terms with your wife? I would suggest you let her know about the situation up front. If you somehow survive the fallout, at least you won't have to worry about the other woman showing up at the door kicking up a storm. The next step is to let your colleague know you have divulged the matter to your wife. Its important that she is aware that she doesn't have you by the balls. Never believe for a moment she is going to be a single mum without turning to you when the going gets tough. I think she is seeking that psychological advantage to force your hand but maybe when she knows the gig is up, the way ahead is clearer for her. Don't leave the ball in her court. At least if the chickens come home to roost, it happened under your own terms. Sorry to hear about the mess, I really am.


I second this.

Deal with the fallout. That is the fairest to all parties.

[89NottiBoy]

dun play play lah..

[a_black_knight]

Hmm, bad news!!

[AirBust]

TS,

I happen to have a relative rather similar to you but it happened many yrs.. Maybe you can use it as reference.

He had a fling (Girl A) when attachd to girl B. Then A got pregnant. He and B had a tearful break. He then married A. Never loved A. But went on to have afew kids though. But lucky for him, B loved him and remained as his mistress and even bore him kids and till now they r still tog. A knows, quarrelled, but never divorce etc. Still married but marriage not happy. But with B, he is behaving more like a husband than just an adulterer.

[cuties]

scare you don't have money only
good luck

[AirBust]

Some of the bros have suggested that you tell your wife, and some even think that you should be responsible for your fling cos she is pregnant.

but to those who said those, have you thought that it is very unfair to the wife who also had your children and married to you for so long? I think it is all very clear in this case.. Your colleague should have known better than to let you shoot in and TS should also be responsible. Leaving your wife is a big no cos she is the victim.

The best is to juggle between both ladies. Tell your wife if she can accept, if cant TS got to give up the colleague. then talk to your colleague and persuade her that you cant accept the child. This child shouldn't be around in the first place. Y should your wife suffer just cos the 2 of you had fun and created this mess? Even if karma happens on you both, its you both who deserved it. Not your wife.

Sorry to be harsh, but I really think its unfair to your wife.

[mcyeoh]

this issue is a typical new generation singaporean problem..no wonder guys like you are weak..

[navras]

bro...it was an instance of small head ruling over the big one.... we usually bang with cap on...but we do do it raw as well occasionally but unload on her tummy etc....but that instance...i just couldn't control myself and lost it...unloaded everything into her...

Bro, after reading all the feedbacks,have you decided what is your next course of action?
Time don't wait for man.

[joncheong]

case closed. Thanks bros for all the concern. Life moves on..

Grateful for all the advices.

[java_cool]

So bro, what did you decide?

[MacBro2007]

Before you actually commit to her, do check if the kid is yours.

If she's willing to be a 3rd party, do not take her word for it.
After the kid is born, she can't take the stress handling it alone, sure come looking for you.

Assuming you got the time and money for your "mistress", when your wife finds out about it, :D. Good luck to you. Either way

Totally agree .., u ...sigh, no advise can give

[MickJegger]

...Even if karma happens on you both, its you both who deserved it. Not your wife.

Sorry to be harsh, but I really think its unfair to your wife.

Well said. This thing could've happened due to previous karma as well. It's the wife's karma to have this husband and marriage. Karma isn't exactly a revenge you know.. It's more like reap what you saw thing. Alas, TS claimed case close. Let's hope this thread be a good reminder to all bros, don't do raw unless to your own spouse.

And also to TS.. after every storm, is a clear blue sky. I'm not saying you should be happy with what happened, but be optimist. Deal with it. Good luck.