Should continue chasing?

[Advanced]

Need some advice from bros/sis, this might be a little lengthy.
I know that she have other suitors, and i know its common thing for girls.. :(:(

Her short background:
Shes Malaysian and divorced before
have a kid around 5/6 years old in malaysia
Working as beer girl at coffeeshop and always end around 1130pm - 12am
goes back hometown twice or 3 times per month for her child during her off

I been chasing her for more then 6months now, can't really remember the exact date i started to have more then just simple crush on her.

At start, i met her in a pub; she previously worked in as a cashier.
She always been rejecting my invitation for supper(after her work) or even lunch(before her work) during the start.

I did some mistakes like texting telling her I liked her, was rejected by her previously telling me she treat me as friend and she have no intention of going into relationship currently.

that didn't stop me from chasing her and i still continue interacting with her hoping that she would at least give me a chance even after being rejected


3 months pass and she switch job, i managed to actually ask her out 3 times full day, once with her friends, another two time was going shopping with her and simple dinner and movie before dropping her home on cab.
p.s. i noticed that she mention she stays at "blk xxx" but notice that she did not actually go to the blk she said when the cab left.

There was once she text me when she was back in her hometown telling me she was worried sick that shes noticed her dropping hair, and saying shes afraid to tell anyone even her family members.
But of cause i dare not say that i'm the only one she told to.


Before her birthday told her i wanted to celebrate her birthday with her after her work, but was rejected saying there isn't any need to celebrate her birthday.
Try my luck on the night of her birthday, and she actually agreed to meet up for just plain supper before sending her home. Even through its just plain supper, i really felt happy.
Not sure if i did the right thing as some bro did mention that showering gift isn't a good idea.

But as i thought it was her birthday, so i brought her a necklace and bracelet which cost me a bomb, and not sure if its due to it being expensive or she did appreciated my thoughts.
(I know bro here gonna scold me for buying expensive stuff which cost 1k for a girl whose not even my girlfriend yet).. she did say she wanna pay me for the bracelet as she don't want owe me too much
p.s i'm not rich and merely earning just nice for myself.
Till now i'm still the one who start the texting, always trying to find something to talk to with her.
I have try calling but usually ends up with no one answering the phone. And she will text me back telling me she just woke up etc.. reason
I wanna ask bros/sis here, what could i actually do?

[pitless]

either she does not want a relationship and wholeheartedly just wanna take good care of her kid or you really is not her cup of kopi

[Johnbass]

Mind over matter...
She doesn't mind you as a bro...
You don't matter to her...

:D

[sammyboyfor]

She sounds like absolute crap to me. You've obviously set your standards very low.

[justl00king]

TS bro, admire your persistence!
If by the 2nd date n we're still not getting jiggy with it, I'd have moved on to next target :D

All the best, hope your sincerity touches her n u'll have a happy ending ;)
Good luck!

[Advanced]

Or how should I try confess again? I'm thinking like tell her face to face; see if she will accept me anot. But scare le...
Another thing is I can't seems to find the right place to confess, everytime meet her is at places like simpang bedok for supper etc..After her work.
I really don't dare speak up and ask sia.. what's your best suggestions?
How you guys go about asking to be in relationships with her?

[sammyboyfor]

what's your best suggestions?
How you guys go about asking to be in relationships with her?

Why don't you ask yourself a more fundamental question and that is why on earth you want to have a relationship with a freakin' low class divorcee with a kid in the first place?

Are you just looking to fuck her or do you actually want to enter into a long term relationship?

If you're thinking of procreation for God's sake think of your poor children. Is this the sort of mother you want them to have?:confused:

[chenpaul]

Boss, thought you only have issue with ladies who sell their bodies. Also so harsh on divorcee with kid:eek:

[maxsee]

Instead of chasing after skirt....based on what you wrote here....you should be finding ways to make more money....right now you can barely make ends meet....why would you want to go after girls...:confused::confused::confused:

[loneyheart]

She has no chemistry w u .... mayb just a friend ..... action just start wo need to ask .... it go w feel after so many outing n no action even hold hand n kisses ... sorri bro just move on

[demonhunter]

TS , I would say forget it to this kinda girls .

First n foremost , if u are serious abt her .... life would be really tough down the road .

She has lost faith in Men . im sure something fucked up happened to her that's why shes raising her kid all alone . even if she accepts u , there would be a lot of problems like suspicions and prevention of what happen to her before .

I would say , have fun with her but not get serious ....But I don't think you should hurt her further .

:)

let her be ... im sure shes going to call u

[discordpiggy]

....
She has lost faith in Men ......
let her be ... im sure shes going to call u
I call u... i also lost faith in men!lols ;):D

[demonhunter]

I call u... i also lost faith in men!lols ;):D

I give free therapy .... make women believe in men again .

:p

[Advanced]

Double post

[Advanced]

Why don't you ask yourself a more fundamental question and that is why on earth you want to have a relationship with a freakin' low class divorcee with a kid in the first place?

Are you just looking to fuck her or do you actually want to enter into a long term relationship?

If you're thinking of procreation for God's sake think of your poor children. Is this the sort of mother you want them to have?:confused:

Lol boss, it isn't her fault she divorced, her ex-husband had affair and even have another kid outside.
I'm looking into a long term r/s.
That's why I wanna seek advice on how to move next step with her lol..
I don't dare hold her hand le.. like never had a good timing to do it, cannot be hold her hand in cab right lol..
Want confess, also feel like not right place to do it..


She has no chemistry w u .... mayb just a friend ..... action just start wo need to ask .... it go w feel after so many outing n no action even hold hand n kisses ... sorri bro just move on

Is I don't dare hold or kiss her.. lol

Actually by right ytd arrange meet her, end up she tell me her ex colleague/sister wanna meet her go shopping. Then tell me go home first, later at night then see how. (End up didn't meet).
Thought today wanna meet her eat supper. She tell me she meeting her brother liao..
Sometimes dunno is real anot ma .. or she go meet other guy and since she still "single" got choice.. no need say much to me.

[acidicavex]

Reading

It seem like she not ready for another r/s maybe her last marriage scar her deeply.

[discordpiggy]

I give free therapy .... make women believe in men again .

:p

try me! :eek: i totally lost it :D

[eugene_wong]

Need some advice from bros/sis, this might be a little lengthy.
I know that she have other suitors, and i know its common thing for girls.. :(:(

Her short background:


I been chasing her for more then 6months now, can't really remember the exact date i started to have more then just simple crush on her.

At start, i met her in a pub; she previously worked in as a cashier.
She always been rejecting my invitation for supper(after her work) or even lunch(before her work) during the start.

I did some mistakes like texting telling her I liked her, was rejected by her previously telling me she treat me as friend and she have no intention of going into relationship currently.

that didn't stop me from chasing her and i still continue interacting with her hoping that she would at least give me a chance even after being rejected


3 months pass and she switch job, i managed to actually ask her out 3 times full day, once with her friends, another two time was going shopping with her and simple dinner and movie before dropping her home on cab.
p.s. i noticed that she mention she stays at "blk xxx" but notice that she did not actually go to the blk she said when the cab left.

There was once she text me when she was back in her hometown telling me she was worried sick that shes noticed her dropping hair, and saying shes afraid to tell anyone even her family members.
But of cause i dare not say that i'm the only one she told to.


Before her birthday told her i wanted to celebrate her birthday with her after her work, but was rejected saying there isn't any need to celebrate her birthday.
Try my luck on the night of her birthday, and she actually agreed to meet up for just plain supper before sending her home. Even through its just plain supper, i really felt happy.
Not sure if i did the right thing as some bro did mention that showering gift isn't a good idea.

But as i thought it was her birthday, so i brought her a necklace and bracelet which cost me a bomb, and not sure if its due to it being expensive or she did appreciated my thoughts.
(I know bro here gonna scold me for buying expensive stuff which cost 1k for a girl whose not even my girlfriend yet).. she did say she wanna pay me for the bracelet as she don't want owe me too much
p.s i'm not rich and merely earning just nice for myself.
Till now i'm still the one who start the texting, always trying to find something to talk to with her.
I have try calling but usually ends up with no one answering the phone. And she will text me back telling me she just woke up etc.. reason
I wanna ask bros/sis here, what could i actually do?

In the movie world yes, you will able to chase the girl if you are good man and persistent enough. In the real world, it will be the opposite....

[eugene_wong]

Usually guy chasing girl, it is either no or little chasing required before success. If a guy has been chasing a girl long time, it means the girl doesn't like him and likely things won't change...

[Ecuader]

Change target. From what you described, she's not interested in you.
Divest b4 its too late. After all the effort and money you spent, you could not even hold her hand.

Its clear that your efforts will not bear any fruits.
Give up now.

[Advanced]

Change target. From what you described, she's not interested in you.
Divest b4 its too late. After all the effort and money you spent, you could not even hold her hand.

Its clear that your efforts will not bear any fruits.
Give up now.

lol i dont dare hold le.. lol
in cab always find it abit embarrassing or awkward.
then walking, always forgot :p

[demonhunter]

try me! :eek: i totally lost it :D

But I scared I get hurt le ....

:cool:

[justl00king]

lol i dont dare hold le.. lol
in cab always find it abit embarrassing or awkward.
then walking, always forgot :pBro, must adopt the Nike formula! :p

Just sharing, for my first date, try to hold her hand. Eg, when crossing a busy street or moving around in a crowded place. Nothing wrong being the gentleman n lead the way. After the date, have a good nite kiss, either just a peck on the face or lips is fine.
If all goes well and she's keen on a 2nd date, time to plan for some action ;)

U'll be surprised that some gals now prefer to take initiative, they'll come hold your hand instead and get really close to u.
So no guts no glory bro, just do it! :D good luck!

[Advanced]

Bro, must adopt the Nike formula! :p

Just sharing, for my first date, try to hold her hand. Eg, when crossing a busy street or moving around in a crowded place. Nothing wrong being the gentleman n lead the way. After the date, have a good nite kiss, either just a peck on the face or lips is fine.
If all goes well and she's keen on a 2nd date, time to plan for some action ;)

U'll be surprised that some gals now prefer to take initiative, they'll come hold your hand instead and get really close to u.
So no guts no glory bro, just do it! :D good luck!

will try rmb the holding hand part.. i later hold tio her wrist how?:confused:

[lostlilvirg]

Dear Advanced,

From what I understand from what you wrote, it seems that she is going out of her way to discourage interest from you. She strikes me as wanting to maintain a friendly, but platonic, relationship with you instead of a romantic one. It feels like you're a little too much in crush, to the point of besottment with her.

Yes, buying such an extravagant gift was a little overboard, but it's done, so no use crying over spilt milk. I actually like some of the suggestions here. You DO need to just ball up and effing do it. DO something, but please please please don't try the "confess" again. You've already done it once, she knows very well how you feel. Maybe her mind has changed, maybe it hasn't. But nothing ventured, nothing gained. Try to hold her hand, DON'T OVER THINK! If you hold her wrist, then hold her wrist. After crossing the road, getting out of the crowd, or whtever your excuse was, don't release her, until she makes you.

If she does make you release her, she is clearly not interested in THAT kind of relationship.

I don't think she has led you on, but like some other posters said, she might be waiting for you to take the initiative. If you don't do anything, all the angst and anxiety will be for nothing. Try it. If you fail, no regrets and you won't be wasting more time with her in terms of romance. If you succeed, then you're happy.

Please man up and know WHEN to walk away. If she rebuffs you, then it is her choice. No matter how much jewellery you buy her, no matter how many times you confess, it won't change her mind. She will like you for you, or not at all.

Just my 2 cents'

Oh, and good luck!

[fion.18]

But I scared I get hurt le ....

:cool:

You need to enroll for the fion's anti heartbreak class :D

[89NottiBoy]

move on bro. she is full of baggage..

[NottiSex]

Advance, I don't think she is interested in you at all. If she like you she will make time for you and she won't say not free this and that.

To make urself feel better maybe just go confess get rejected and let the matter rest and move on.

Long term relationship need to be mutual. It cannot be one sided.

[juzforfun]

Hi dude...sounds like she doesn't seem to have much interest in you. I would like to suggest to take it easy, spend time on your hobbies, make new friends etc. She obviously knows how you feel and if she wants to take a step further, she would initiate and give you many opportunities. End of the day, such thing can't be forced, she should also be afraid of losing your interest in her. If she wants to be with you, you would know it. Just occupy your time for other things n just maintain a friendship with her to see how the future goes. You definitely can do without her in your life so cheer up :)

[justl00king]

~deleted~ :D

[NottiSex]

Bro! U have high rep n been here for few years, so dun think u r a young punk or just trolling? But your questions sounds rather school kid like to me.
Doesn't matter hold hands or waist, just take it one step at a time. If hands holding offers no resistance, then waist at the right timing, n move on from there.

Share one encounter with u. I was gaming at the casino n chatted up a Korean chiobu tourist playing at the same table. After the games ended for that table, she asked if I wanna move to another table to play. I replied I'm hungry n will be grabbing some food instead, n will join her later? Next thing I know, she held my hand and told me let's go eat.While walking towards the food joint, her boobs were already pressing really close to me.

Given strong signals from her, must take the hints. After makan, I held her hand n lead her all the way towards the hotel. Without even asking, I booked a room and off we went. While inside the lift, hands already all over each other, but I told her to chill, as there's camera in the lift. Quite funny, thinking back. :p

So, if I didn't action on signals provided will yield zero results.
So bro, dun think too much, just action!
Good luck n have fun! ;)


You must be damn good looking lol

[justl00king]

You must be damn good looking lolNah bro, I just like to tcss.

So that could jolly well be just some fabricated tale or a fantasy scenario twirling in my mind. ;)
But that's not the point. The point is simple, no action equates to zero results. :)

[Advanced]

lol bro i meant wrist not waist leh.. :confused:

i did skip the steps and try put my hand across her shoulder, she didnt resist. but didn't do it for long just a short period maybe like crossing the road :p

[justl00king]

lol bro i meant wrist not waist leh..

i did skip the steps and try put my hand across her shoulder, she didnt resist. but didn't do it for long just a short period maybe like crossing the road :pHahaha bro, my bad! Selective reading on my part :p lol

Good for u bro, it's a good sign!
Hope u'll get to do more soon! ;);)

[Advanced]

Hahaha bro, my bad! Selective reading on my part :p lol

Good for u bro, it's a good sign!
Hope u'll get to do more soon! ;);)

hope so ba.. trying asking her out for supper since she work till late night every time, and off days usually go back home.
But really quite expensive also, Taxi go makan(near her house) around $20, Taxi send her back and home also $20.
Haven't include food also.. 1 time can bleed liao, sometimes really don't know how :(

[justl00king]

hope so ba.. trying asking her out for supper since she work till late night every time, and off days usually go back home.
But really quite expensive also, Taxi go makan(near her house) around $20, Taxi send her back and home also $20.
Haven't include food also.. 1 time can bleed liao, sometimes really don't know how :(Haha bro, I know u really into her. Sometimes, such feelings can't be explained.
So I wish u the best of luck, hope u get the maiden of your desire! ;)

Action hor, good luck! :)

[porscheclub]

Wah lan eh.

Divorcee, 5 yrs old child, works as a beer gal in kopitiam & you only earning enough to feed yourself.

#1 She has seen more men than you have fucked. So, wake up boy!
#2 Let's say you're both together, can you help her from this situation to afford a better lifestyle+her kid?
#3 If not, can you bare to witness her serving beer & getting hanky-panky by qi-koh-peks in kopitiam?

Go look at boss's first+second replies again & think hard. Find a simpler woman to love & this lady is rejecting you for your own good.

Stop dreaming about bedding her.

[Advanced]

i know bro/sis here advice to just stop bothering about her.
But really wish to try better then just give up, since like bro justl00king said; i can't explain why, but i'm really into her to just give up like this. :(
But i'm not sure how to try now. Since like i'm being treated more into friends then someone she likes.