Giving up relationship because of a flirting text?

[bbenjt]

Hi Bros and Sisters,
I'm sorry to ask this question here but I'm really very curious to find out if majority here will give up a relationship because of a flirting txt? I will fill in as much info to possible about this.

1. Boy and Girl in love for more than 6 months and has plans to get married
2. Very intimate with each other as in as far as making love
3. Boy or girl has a BFF (best friend forever) but never met before
4. BFF very open minded and wild type and loves to flirt
5. Boy or Girl was ignored for almost a month due to some relationship misunderstanding and only the communications means is through the BFF
6. BFF was all along very interested with the Boy or Girl and started to flirt with all sorts of msgs as in having sex and making out but it was all purely txt and no meetups or whatsoever intended in the first place
7. Boy or Girl found out about the flirting txt and BFF was spared the break up but not their partners

Would any bros or sisters give up this relationship which have gone through so much just for a pure flirting txt?:confused:

Thanks

[Traid14k]

Hi Bros and Sisters,
I'm sorry to ask this question here but I'm really very curious to find out if majority here will give up a relationship because of a flirting txt? I will fill in as much info to possible about this.

1. Boy and Girl in love for more than 6 months and has plans to get married
2. Very intimate with each other as in as far as making love
3. Boy or girl has a BFF (best friend forever) but never met before
4. BFF very open minded and wild type and loves to flirt
5. Boy or Girl was ignored for almost a month due to some relationship misunderstanding and only the communications means is through the BFF
6. BFF was all along very interested with the Boy or Girl and started to flirt with all sorts of msgs as in having sex and making out but it was all purely txt and no meetups or whatsoever intended in the first place
7. Boy or Girl found out about the flirting txt and BFF was spared the break up but not their partners

Would any bros or sisters give up this relationship which have gone through so much just for a pure flirting txt?:confused:

Thanks

I really don't know what the fuck are you writing about. :confused:

[hardrod69]

Sorry but your scenario is very confusing. Very hard to give advice.

Why don't you get straight to the point. Are you the boy, girl or bff?

[alan0338]

can intro the BFF if she is a cha bor??? kamsia very much... :D:D:D

[4getful]

TS, your composition failed big time liao. I read until my head keep twisting leh. Please take the resit n rewrite a more simple n concise ones.

[Johnbass]

TS, your 1st relationship ah?
6mths nia... Don't jump the marriage gun lah... Sure scare the girl away.
BFF FTW!
U should try to be her BFF 1st...
:D

[Squirting]

Thread Starter, just tell the situation as it is ... no one has stamina to read all your 7 points with boy lah or girl lah or BFF or whatnot ... aiyoh straight to the point lah !

[thislogin]

Yup TS this is the internet. You can just anonymously share your real situation. Point 5 or 6 I was totally lost..

[firejalan]

Yup TS this is the internet. You can just anonymously share your real situation. Point 5 or 6 I was totally lost..

Agreed...!!
If u want to ask , ask properly...!!

What guy , gal , guy , gal....?
Irritating to read...!!

[ChinaFriends67]

Its very cuntfusing dude:confused:

[otamay]

Its very cuntfusing dude:confused:

Yes, you are very right. :D

[Gentle Beast]

Reminds me of solving problems sums in mathematics. Grrr...:D

[acidicavex]

Ts why dont u just go straight to point . No wonder so many want to slam u .

U afraid scare tio ID no face?:confused:

[bbenjt]

So Sorry bros :( I have never encounter or post such situations before so forgive me on this. :( Yes, I'm the boy and my girlfriend broke up with me big time just for a flirting txt to her BFF which I have never met or even the intention to met up. I have explained to her many times that its just a txt and no action whatsoever but she just can't accept it. :( Can any bros or sisters advice or maybe let me know what will you guys do or its really I deserve it? The most important is I hope sisters will answer this more so I can tell her that its really illogical to give up a relationship just because of a txt.:(

[starbucks]

ahh.. now i understand. i suggest you behave a little more manly and not turn into a little puppy just because your lady queen threaten to leave you. you see boy.... sooner or later you have to 'grow up' anyway, so i suggest you take it in full stride and let her go. Be cool about these BGR man. I repeate. Be Cool and walk away and stop calling or texting your gf. (whether you want to text that other lady is another thing). Just dont be so needy towards women in general, or you end up letting them shit on your head, repeatedly, in future.



So Sorry bros :( I have never encounter or post such situations before so forgive me on this. :( Yes, I'm the boy and my girlfriend broke up with me big time just for a flirting txt to her BFF which I have never met or even the intention to met up. I have explained to her many times that its just a txt and no action whatsoever but she just can't accept it. :( Can any bros or sisters advice or maybe let me know what will you guys do or its really I deserve it? The most important is I hope sisters will answer this more so I can tell her that its really illogical to give up a relationship just because of a txt.:(

[Krazzie]

I think you should thank your luck. Imagine you flirt only after marrying her.

I think there is one advice that is spoken for ages. "Don't shit where you eat." You take it to the next level. Go flirt with your GF/future wife's BFF? You think your not gonna get exposed? Seriously? You never think this is a trick by your GF/BFF to let you show your colors? /facepalm

Anyway you bet that you won't get exposed now suck it up and move on.

[pyrokinets]

Well, clearly she has decided that you cannot be trusted. In her mind, if you are capable of a small betrayal like this, what's to say you won't do something worse the next time round your relationship hits a rough patch?

"But I didn't betray her!" You say. "It was just sexting!"

It was a red flag. Speaks a lot about your character. And I hope you're not dismissing it as something trivial in front of her as you are in this thread. She's probably hurting more than you, and you going around acting like it wasn't a big deal is just going to piss her off more.

Hey, now that she's done with you, why don't you go bang the other chick you were sexting with? Or was it a dude? It wasn't clear in your posts.

[mcyeoh]

just your typical nasty stupid insecure singaporean guy that do no know the meaning of loyalty..no wonder your local girls only go for you guys as a third-choice...funny new generation sg guys....puny and tiny....try replying back..it just show how insecure and fucked up you new generation singaporean guys are

[prettymannequin]

So Sorry bros :( I have never encounter or post such situations before so forgive me on this. :( Yes, I'm the boy and my girlfriend broke up with me big time just for a flirting txt to her BFF which I have never met or even the intention to met up. I have explained to her many times that its just a txt and no action whatsoever but she just can't accept it. :( Can any bros or sisters advice or maybe let me know what will you guys do or its really I deserve it? The most important is I hope sisters will answer this more so I can tell her that its really illogical to give up a relationship just because of a txt.:(

1) It's sexting but you call it "just a flirting text". Obviously you're not taking the situation seriously.

2) In her mind she's thinking, I've already satisfied his sexual needs so why is he still looking for someone else? He's not contented, and will defo cheat again, I better protect myself before I get hurt again.

3) You think she's being illogical when it's this ultimate upsetting betrayal from the two people closest to her. 749827605967948 points to you for being such a caring boyf who tends to her emotions.


You guys are done. Read this quote from one of the bros here before, if you can't be a loyal man, at least be a responsible man. Also, it's so fucked up how you don't seem like you feel remorseful at all, and even want the sisters here to agree with you that she's being illogical. Do the responsible thing, let her go~

[nakorn]

So Sorry bros :( I have never encounter or post such situations before so forgive me on this. :( Yes, I'm the boy and my girlfriend broke up with me big time just for a flirting txt to her BFF which I have never met or even the intention to met up. I have explained to her many times that its just a txt and no action whatsoever but she just can't accept it. :( Can any bros or sisters advice or maybe let me know what will you guys do or its really I deserve it? The most important is I hope sisters will answer this more so I can tell her that its really illogical to give up a relationship just because of a txt.:(

Never meet up but the intention is already there.

[bankrobber]

... started to flirt with all sorts of msgs as in having sex and making out ...

dude. you clearly said at the start you guys exchanged all sorts of msgs about fucking. yet in your latest post you said you wanna convince your girl that it's illogical to break up over a (one) text? seriously dude. wake up. stop pretending you did less harm than you already did. like prettymannequin said, you're obviously taking this lightly. which is a shame, cause i think your girl's pretty serious about the r/s.

give it a thought man. if you really don't wanna lose her, why not man up, admit your mistake, show some remorse (her BFF sia, what were you thinking), and win her heart again?

if you can't do that, suck it up and move on. my two cents, cheers.

[bbenjt]

1) It's sexting but you call it "just a flirting text". Obviously you're not taking the situation seriously.

I'm sorry for the words I used and yes it is sexting as you mentioned but can't I ask for a 2nd chance to start all anew with her because the whole sexting is really just words sexting, no pic or videos involved which I really have no intention to meet her BFF. Please don't judge me just like this that i'm not taking this seriously. If I'm not serious, why would I even want to post it here and get penalized by everyone? I admit I'm no saint but can't I ask for another chance to make up for this first mistake?:(

2) In her mind she's thinking, I've already satisfied his sexual needs so why is he still looking for someone else? He's not contented, and will defo cheat again, I better protect myself before I get hurt again.

I didn't look for her BFF because I wasn't contented which many have misunderstand me already. I txt her BFF is not for any intention to meet or have sex. It's really just words sexting nothing has happen before or after.:(
I understand your point on getting hurt but I already know how terrible the mistake is already, why would I want to do it again?

3) You think she's being illogical when it's this ultimate upsetting betrayal from the two people closest to her. 749827605967948 points to you for being such a caring boyf who tends to her emotions.

She also told me its betrayal and you agree it is but could you could tell me in a girl's view, what is sexting to you when its just purely words with no action? I'm asking to understand this : My sexting is all words with completely no action or anything done, no pics or video involved as in blank words, why am I penalized so heavily for this? :(
P.S : I have mentioned before I have never met the BFF or had any intention to meet her, its all purely txt conversation and no pic or videos exchange.

You guys are done. Read this quote from one of the bros here before, if you can't be a loyal man, at least be a responsible man. Also, it's so fucked up how you don't seem like you feel remorseful at all, and even want the sisters here to agree with you that she's being illogical. Do the responsible thing, let her go~

I didn't come here to ask for support from sisters but to understand why would anyone give up a relationship just like this because of a purely words sexting? No one here is supporting me and all bros are penalizing me too because all feel it is wrong and maybe all the bros didn't commit this so they can penalized me. I'm asking for a 2nd chance for this as I'm not saint and I'm willing to learn from this mistake not to commit this again that i betrayed her through the sexting. I really don't want to commit the same mistake again. Her BFF is still around her but i'm being let go as of current situation. Please, i only wanted a chance to repent and makeup to her. I really treasure her very much. This is the only mistake I have done towards her for the entire relationship.:(

[bbenjt]

dude. you clearly said at the start you guys exchanged all sorts of msgs about fucking. yet in your latest post you said you wanna convince your girl that it's illogical to break up over a (one) text? seriously dude. wake up. stop pretending you did less harm than you already did. like prettymannequin said, you're obviously taking this lightly. which is a shame, cause i think your girl's pretty serious about the r/s.

give it a thought man. if you really don't wanna lose her, why not man up, admit your mistake, show some remorse (her BFF sia, what were you thinking), and win her heart again?


if you can't do that, suck it up and move on. my two cents, cheers.

give it a thought man. if you really don't wanna lose her, why not man up, admit your mistake, show some remorse (her BFF sia, what were you thinking), and win her heart again?

Hi Bro,
I did all you said as the above and even beg her but she couldn't.:(

[BTech]

Either I am old and way past my time inducj forums or TS is simply too young to be here!!

I mean whatta f+%& is BFF !
Who uses these terms !
I rather see terms like FB as in FBuddy !!!!

[sadfa]

I didn't come here to ask for support from sisters but to understand why would anyone give up a relationship just like this because of a purely words sexting? No one here is supporting me and all bros are penalizing me too because all feel it is wrong and maybe all the bros didn't commit this so they can penalized me. I'm asking for a 2nd chance for this as I'm not saint and I'm willing to learn from this mistake not to commit this again that i betrayed her through the sexting. I really don't want to commit the same mistake again. Her BFF is still around her but i'm being let go as of current situation. Please, i only wanted a chance to repent and makeup to her. I really treasure her very much. This is the only mistake I have done towards her for the entire relationship.:(

Whats there not 2 understand.

This is called betrayal

You say its words only bt who knows?
If her fren says ok let's fuck! Are u saying u will tell her no way no fucky!
Nothing happened cos the matter didn't proceed.
So its nt words only.
That's your excuse to her bt dun tell me u believe the bs.

N her fren could b testing you out for your gf I mean your ex gf

Which means u failed t test.
Did u think of your ex when u text her fren u want 2 bang her ass?
U didn't. N u showed u can't b trusted which means you're nt marriage material.

N how will u feel if ur ex text your bff n tell him she'll let him bang her in ways she never allowed you. Will u accept it as words only? U ok with that

[mcyeoh]

puny new generation singaporean guy problems...this is why the true male species has abandon your puny tiny fucked up new generation singaporean males and place you guys in the transexual class...puny guys...

[prettymannequin]

I didn't come here to ask for support from sisters but to understand why would anyone give up a relationship just like this because of a purely words sexting? No one here is supporting me and all bros are penalizing me too because all feel it is wrong and maybe all the bros didn't commit this so they can penalized me. I'm asking for a 2nd chance for this as I'm not saint and I'm willing to learn from this mistake not to commit this again that i betrayed her through the sexting. I really don't want to commit the same mistake again. Her BFF is still around her but i'm being let go as of current situation. Please, i only wanted a chance to repent and makeup to her. I really treasure her very much. This is the only mistake I have done towards her for the entire relationship.:(

Okay whatever you responded to me within the quote, honestly Idc for your explanations because it doesn't concern me. I'm just letting you know what your girlf's thinking. You don't have to justify anything to me, you just gotta know how to tackle what your girlf's thinking.

But just letting you know, everything you said there like "I really treasure her" sounds like a load of bullshit to a hurting girlfriend who's thinking "if you really treasured me you wouldn't even have started doing that".

But I can sense the remorse so...

First, if it wasn't a test by the two kids, know that she's thinking she can only keep one of you. Cause she can't have both of you by her side and not be reminded of the emotional betrayal she's going through. So it's either you or her bestf, and the bestf has been there longer than you so... know your place.

And agree with sadfa, nothing happened because it hadn't progressed to that stage yet. It's never "purely words sexting", it's not the action that counts but the intention. While you were sexting the bff, laying out all the details of what you wanna do to her, did you even stop for a second to think of your girlf at all? To feel guilty at all? To know that you're not on his mind when he's thinking of fucking another chick, that is super upsetting for any girl.

Also, you seem like the kind who would keep justifying your actions. STOP IT. You are absorbed with your wrongdoings, but she's absorbed by the hurt. The more you try and justify your actions without considering her emotions throughout this whole episode, the more she's gonna feel like you're an asshole who's only concerned with clearing your name but not clearing the mess. And she's gonna keep convincing herself that you're a really shitty guy who's not worth keeping around. She doesn't even want you in her life at this point, not to mention giving you another chance.

Think about that.

And finally... no one is penalising you for getting caught for sexting... I'm sure many bros get caught all the time. People are disappointed in you for sexting your girlf's bff (wtf) and not seeming remorseful at all in your first few posts.

Good luck with the ex. I can only tell you what's going on in her head, but I can't tell you how to win her trust and a second chance back.

[Johnbass]

puny new generation singaporean guy problems...this is why the true male species has abandon your puny tiny fucked up new generation singaporean males and place you guys in the transexual class...puny guys...

F serious?!
My points are even lower than yours?!
I must go one corner reflect why majority likes you more than me...
:eek:
:D

[prettymannequin]

She also told me its betrayal and you agree it is but could you could tell me in a girl's view, what is sexting to you when its just purely words with no action? I'm asking to understand this : My sexting is all words with completely no action or anything done, no pics or video involved as in blank words, why am I penalized so heavily for this?

P.S : I have mentioned before I have never met the BFF or had any intention to meet her, its all purely txt conversation and no pic or videos exchange.

Oh yea forgot to address this part. Can't believe I have to break it down like this for you but here it goes...

Sexting is basically sex texting right, everyone knows that. Perfectly acceptable to sext anyone when you're just dating around, but a huge no-no when you're already in an exclusive relationship. Because the idea is that sex and sexting should be exclusive to the relationship.

Plus girls see sex and sexting as a very intimate thing, as a connection. So for her man to engage in such an intimate connection with another girl... with her bestf... what a huge blow, really. Do you see how it's a betrayal now?

And you really need to stop thinking of yourself as being penalised. Stop thinking of yourself as the victim. Stop thinking that she's punishing you for your "purely words and no action". This is not a punishment, this is a reaction. You did something wrong, she's reacting to being wronged, and the result of that reaction is you got dropped.

[LeeHsienLoong]

Almost everyone cheats, at point or another.
It is actual the situation which matters the most and can the individual live with it?
I'll give you an example. Eva Longoria and Tony Parker.
That guy was sending hundreds of texts to another woman while married to Eva.
She filed for divorce and moved on.
A betrayal is a betrayal.
There are no two ways about it.

[prettymannequin]

A betrayal is a betrayal.
There are no two ways about it.

Hi fellow PM! :p I like this line, reminds me of a quote in one of my favourite books,

“One thing I am certain of, I do not want to be betrayed, but that's quite hard to say casually, at the beginning of a relationship. It’s not a word people use very often, which confuses me, because there are different kinds of infidelity, but betrayal is betrayal wherever you find it. By betrayal, I mean promising to be on your side, and then being on somebody else’s.”

[lostlilvirg]

F serious?!
My points are even lower than yours?!
I must go one corner reflect why majority likes you more than me...
:eek:
:D

only cos i can't zap him back to back to back to back to back ;)

[lostlilvirg]

TS,

The issue here is that there is a difference in definitions.

To you, the definition of DOING something means you haven't actually physically performed any flirting with the bff, face-to-face.

To her, the definition of DOING something refers to you actually even texting the bff.

My question is, why did you have the need to send flirty texts to the bff in the first place? Perhaps you think it was harmless fun, but the issue here is two-fold to your gf:

One, that you would flirt with a girl behind her back. I don't know about your gf, but some girls are perfectly fine with their guys checking other girls out, or even to strike up conversation with the other girls. THe proviso is that the gf has to know about it. So the key words here would be "behind her back". That she had to find out by...wait how did she find out?

Two, that of ALL the people in the world you could've chosen to be having text-sex with, you had to choose her bff (though in all fairness, how is she a bff if she's flirting with the bf of her best friend? food for thought there). So it's the second slap in her face, that you didn't respect her enough to even have the decency of flirting with someone she didn't know, much less so close to as her own best friend. The only way you can worsen the situation is by flirting with her sister (or brother, but hey that's another story altogether).

5. Boy or Girl was ignored for almost a month due to some relationship misunderstanding and only the communications means is through the BFF

The two of you (I'm not going to blame just you on this) decided to push the boundaries of the friendship by devolving into flirting and text-sexing. Using the bff as a bridge to try to recover your relationship was OK, text-sexing with the bff WHILE trying to recover the relationship was, pardon me, idiocy.

It's not that people aren't supporting you, it's that there's really nothing to support. You've been caught with your hand in the cookie jar, it's time to face the music, mate. Maybe if you're persistent enough, the girl will forgive you. But be warned, the relationship will NEVER be the same.

[nakorn]

Either I am old and way past my time inducj forums or TS is simply too young to be here!!

I mean whatta f+%& is BFF !
Who uses these terms !
I rather see terms like FB as in FBuddy !!!!

BFF means Best Friend Forever. :)

[bbenjt]

Hi All Bros and Sisters, I'm really grateful for all your advice and explanations. You guys have covered almost all the doubts and points to think about and to understand further. Thank you so much and I got the answer now especially prettymannequin, thanks. :)

[prettymannequin]

Hi All Bros and Sisters, I'm really grateful for all your advice and explanations. You guys have covered almost all the doubts and points to think about and to understand further. Thank you so much and I got the answer now especially prettymannequin, thanks. :)

No worries. Do update us if she takes you back. :eek: :p

[hungryghost4]

TS, the truth is that you failed the test set up by your gf.
She probably got her bff to sextext u and you fell for it. 6 months relationship and the test was already in play for a while.
You failed! Now time to reflect and hope she takes u back....if not, move on and learn a lesson.
From the sound of it, you are still quite young, so take this episode as a lesson in life.

[bbenjt]

Thank you prettymannequin and hungryghost4 :) and all the other bros. I understand what you guys mean. :)

[Sidra183]

hey ts, just adding my 1 cents' worth. even if you got back tgt, it will take a lot of work to regain that trust in you. had a similar experience with my ex, and we did try to get back but it just didn't work once the trust is broken.

[mcyeoh]

No worries. Do update us if she takes you back. :eek: :p
puny ugly new generation sngaporean guy.hahahahaha

[bbenjt]

hey ts, just adding my 1 cents' worth. even if you got back tgt, it will take a lot of work to regain that trust in you. had a similar experience with my ex, and we did try to get back but it just didn't work once the trust is broken.

Hi Bro, I understand what you mean but this is my first relationship and I really appreciate prettymannequin and the rest of the bros explaining it to me.

[kev75]

Since your GF left you, go for the BFF...

[clapton]

Hi TS, from what you wrote, I feel you still aware how serious ur mistake is. And I believe ur GF decided to leave u bcz of ur attitude.

In your case, you already been caught black & white, and pls lar, being a male, in this situation, no point giving out excuses. All you need just is to acknowledge and wait for the judge.

[Traid14k]

Hi Bro, I understand what you mean but this is my first relationship and I really appreciate prettymannequin and the rest of the bros explaining it to me.

Bro just curious,

1. if your gf sex texting your buddy and you found out what will you do?

2. Why were you sex texting? Your gf not giving you enough sex or you Pcc and need some sexciting?

[ljdevil]

1. Boy and Girl in love for more than 6 months and has plans to get married(boy and girl have any kind of financial independence? stable job, etc...)
2. Very intimate with each other as in as far as making love
3. Boy or girl has a BFF (best friend forever) but never met before(Boy never see girl's BFF before, or girl/boy have BFF but never meet the BFF face to face before(kind of like a penpal or smth similar?))
4. BFF very open minded and wild type and loves to flirt
5. Boy or Girl was ignored for almost a month due to some relationship misunderstanding and only the communications means is through the BFF(This BFF is acting as a medium between the Boy/Girl...is there something more to this BFF?)
6. BFF was all along very interested with the Boy or Girl and started to flirt with all sorts of msgs as in having sex and making out but it was all purely txt and no meetups or whatsoever intended in the first place(Definitely smth is wrong here with the BFF's actions, be it intentional or not)
7. Boy or Girl found out about the flirting txt and BFF was spared the break up but not their partners(So is there a break up or is the couple just going through a cold war/cooling off period???)

Would any bros or sisters give up this relationship which have gone through so much just for a pure flirting txt?:confused:(If this is purely a innocent flirting text, then maybe it should not be happening very often, if not, at all in the first place. Probably the party that found out about this should go and talk to the BFF face to face to settle it, unless he/she have second thoughts regarding the relationship)

[lostlilvirg]

hey prettymannequin, did you see that. Someone called you a puny singaporean GUY wor ;)

hahaha

[sleepygordon]

ahh.. now i understand. i suggest you behave a little more manly and not turn into a little puppy just because your lady queen threaten to leave you. you see boy.... sooner or later you have to 'grow up' anyway, so i suggest you take it in full stride and let her go. Be cool about these BGR man. I repeate. Be Cool and walk away and stop calling or texting your gf. (whether you want to text that other lady is another thing). Just dont be so needy towards women in general, or you end up letting them shit on your head, repeatedly, in future.

This is the best advice any one can give you....