Stable Life vs Exciting Life

[lotsfits80]

Any bro has similar experience?

Turning 30 this year, has a considerably stable life, with own 2800 sqft new house, a car and a fiancee. Just 2 of us in the house. Parents stay elsewhere. Np close friends, and no friends to hang out with. Life's pretty much work, home, work, home, occasional shopping and maybe an overseas vacation a year. Stable I guess. Exciting? Almost non-existent.

On my younger brother, who is 5 years younger, earns less than me, still staying with parents. He seems to enjoy his life. Always can see he posts photos of hanging out with post-90s girls who wear sexy, hug and rub shoulders, have v-shaped faces... Basically girls you want to be hanging with and drooled by other men. He obviously faces 'empty' bank account near end of the month, but nevertheless he enjoys his life.

How about you? What do you think? Do you have this dilemma? Sometimes I feel life is not about riding a comfortable sedan and reach the graveyard safely, but to reach there in a rollercoaster and say "WHEW! What a ride!"

[makinglove]

yeah, its a choice, and a difficult choice.. i also seldom go club all these, but everytime see my fren with all the hot girls photos, damn tempted to go also..

[jazp]

Before I'm with my current gf, I clubbed and did ONS. It was crazy but it was fun. Thinking back, it's just another station in life.

Maybe it's time you have a kid, TS, so you can move to the next station. And then after having a kid, you probably may not have time to even think about the issue.

[*FiReWoRkS*]

That's why you have to know if you are those kind of person that yearns such exciting elements. If you are then try to fulfill these desires before you tie the knot and settle down. Unfortunately quite a few of us came to realise this only too late and are faced with this conflicting mind game everyday.

Ultimately most "players" or most guys will want to settle down. Not much meaning playing the game everyday. After you are done with girl A then to B, C, D etc... What's the purpose and where does it all end?

I am actually enjoying such placid life nowadays as most of my close friends and relatives are those family-oriented type and we do meet up quite often with gfs/wives/kids in tow for meals and chit-chat. I guess it helps to keep me grounded as i really enjoy such time with my loved ones. You may want to do the same.

However if you are not able to be a committed man then at least try to be a responsible man, if you know what i mean. Moreover Im sure your stable state of being is the envy of many people as well :)

Cheers~

[lotsfits80]

Yea I guess it's easy for me to become my bro, but it will take time and effort for him to become like me. So I should be grateful and appreciate what I have now.

It's just that I've never really clubbed and be crazy in my younger days so I wonder what it's like to try many girls...

I will not have kids anyway so I just look forward to travel around the world with my partner and enjoy all the other things in life.

[ansonsohna]

I have chosen a stable relationship i.e. married life over a volatile ... it does get routine and mundane (but it also shields you from pain, heartbreak, of a volatile relationship (a roller coaster ride).

Humdrum or ham sap? I am now in a humdrum mode, but I feel the hamsap genes within me stirring .......

Whatever your choice, the most important is to know how you cope with pain .. if you are that sort who let's pain eat you that it affects job, and other relationship and do damage to yourself type, go for humdrum!!

My ngoh chiam two loli worth of advice!

[jacky43]

This is only me. Singaporean parents are feeding rich boys, and dragons girls aka rich daughters not PRC pdmms. So Y gen punks cant take the pain and shits. Remember mine Y childrens this country is build on strengths and guts.

What we lost in the past 15 years, we should win it back. 11 days to a new year a better year for all. May god bless this country and all its people.

[lotsfits80]

This is only me. Singaporean parents are feeding rich boys, and dragons girls aka rich daughters not PRC pdmms. So Y gen punks cant take the pain and shits. Remember mine Y childrens this country is build on strengths and guts.

What we lost in the past 15 years, we should win it back. 11 days to a new year a better year for all. May god bless this country and all its people.

But undeniably nowadays gen y and gen z are also more 'open' in relationships. More promiscuous people who don't give a damn about marriage/children and just want to YOLO (you only live once).

[Metzloff]

Good question for all of us to consider. I've been working since graduation 27 years ago, got wife, kids, house, car and can be considered financially ok. But sometimes I wonder - is that all there is ? Maybe, should say "heck care" and enjoy life a bit. After all, you can't take it with you in the end.

[HeadOn]

It's really about wat kinda life you wanna lead. When one reach diff stage in life will look for diff things . Tats part of life n growing up

[BaronMunchausen]

It depends on what you want. I always dreamt of a wife, kids, house and car by the time I was 28. None of that happened as I slogged in my 20s and got rejected by countless ladies. Then I decided change was in order. I now live a not-so stable life of having an semi-stable job, cheonging, multiple dates (and endings), and living healthier in the meantime. Satisfied with what I have and developed, and having my health back after a scare at my former job ;)

[lotsfits80]

It depends on what you want. I always dreamt of a wife, kids, house and car by the time I was 28. None of that happened as I slogged in my 20s and got rejected by countless ladies. Then I decided change was in order. I now live a not-so stable life of having an semi-stable job, cheonging, multiple dates (and endings), and living healthier in the meantime. Satisfied with what I have and developed, and having my health back after a scare at my former job ;)

Bro at least you now still have multiple choice. I only have one so far in my life. Never really tried before also... What's the scary story btw? Can share?

[Treemon99]

Any bro has similar experience?

Turning 30 this year, has a considerably stable life, with own 2800 sqft new house, a car and a fiancee. Just 2 of us in the house. Parents stay elsewhere. Np close friends, and no friends to hang out with. Life's pretty much work, home, work, home, occasional shopping and maybe an overseas vacation a year. Stable I guess. Exciting? Almost non-existent.

On my younger brother, who is 5 years younger, earns less than me, still staying with parents. He seems to enjoy his life. Always can see he posts photos of hanging out with post-90s girls who wear sexy, hug and rub shoulders, have v-shaped faces... Basically girls you want to be hanging with and drooled by other men. He obviously faces 'empty' bank account near end of the month, but nevertheless he enjoys his life.

How about you? What do you think? Do you have this dilemma? Sometimes I feel life is not about riding a comfortable sedan and reach the graveyard safely, but to reach there in a rollercoaster and say "WHEW! What a ride!"

It's just stages in life. When I was in my early twenties, I partied my years away. Never lack of girls just money :p Until at a point in time when I hit 25 I start to think. I start to look at my spending pattern my bank account statements my credit cards bills and I realise I need a change. If I could save up all those money I could start a small business now.

Now still salaried employee, house still got 24 years to go before fully paid. Occasionally drinking beer at kopitiam and enjoy a plate of roast pork :) Only can afford to take "vacation" on company business trips :p

[BaronMunchausen]

Bro at least you now still have multiple choice. I only have one so far in my life. Never really tried before also... What's the scary story btw? Can share?

Pros and cons to single or multiple choice. I was forced by circumstance since I was a beta in my 20s. After 50 or more rejections decided to man up and try for variety ;)

I used to work nightly 12-14 hour shifts at my previous job. 7pm to 7am on most nights. Got obese from eating the limited selection available (Mac's, zhi char, prata, and bak chor mee). If I knew how to cook then as I know now, could have stayed in shape.

Anyway, one day, after an intense 14 hour shift, I was exiting the office when my visual range suddenly tilted 90 degrees. I was conscious but I could not move a muscle. Then my entire body cramped up, every sinew tightened up. I called for anyone to call an ambulance for me, but even my speech was slurred. Frightening moment for a then 28-year-old.

I was admitted to SGH on a suspicion that I had suffered a heart attack. Thank goodness it wasn't true. After a weeks' stay and a battery of tests, doctors guessed (they couldn't find anything wrong with me) that I overexerted myself. Quit the job I enjoyed a lot shortly after.

I now live a healthier and more active lifestyle (haha). Though still round, I go gym often, eat my own homecooked meals, and date more often. :D

[MoJoe313]

Any bro has similar experience?

Turning 30 this year, has a considerably stable life, with own 2800 sqft new house, a car and a fiancee. Just 2 of us in the house. Parents stay elsewhere. Np close friends, and no friends to hang out with. Life's pretty much work, home, work, home, occasional shopping and maybe an overseas vacation a year. Stable I guess. Exciting? Almost non-existent.

On my younger brother, who is 5 years younger, earns less than me, still staying with parents. He seems to enjoy his life. Always can see he posts photos of hanging out with post-90s girls who wear sexy, hug and rub shoulders, have v-shaped faces... Basically girls you want to be hanging with and drooled by other men. He obviously faces 'empty' bank account near end of the month, but nevertheless he enjoys his life.

How about you? What do you think? Do you have this dilemma? Sometimes I feel life is not about riding a comfortable sedan and reach the graveyard safely, but to reach there in a rollercoaster and say "WHEW! What a ride!"

Depends on what you really want in life. I had a 3,100 sq ft house. Then I realized I have to work my entire life for it so I sold it and and stayed in an apartment instead. It is now fully paid. I can tell my boss to go fuck himself any time I not happy. Used the spare cash to buy me some happiness - car, handbags for wife, have many kids, build a happy family. Work became less stressful. I will not be as rich as you many years down the road. I just hope to be happier.

If women is your thing, go for it. For me, one correct one is enough. Like you wisely wrote, at the end of my journey, I just want to say "Whew! What a ride! Glad I did not spend all my time working, working, working".

[naturegreen]

It's a phase in life. Some people get rich but may not be happy. Some are easily contented. Ah! contented is the word. Probably I am not as rich as TS to own a 2800 sqft house. Sooner or later, your bro will get tired of that type of life. We have all been through that, one or another. :)

[scorpionnn]

TS... I guess its just human nature to be envious of others. I was the envy of many before, for having slept with many women in the trade, up till the extent of hate, but am broke and not happy... I thought having $ was more practical, so I technically slowed my life with more stable relationships. Few years later, financially more stable, but yet, kuku jiao itchy again and start getting envy of ppl bedding women :S

Such is the dilemma i guess bro. But since you're not married yet, you still got a choice. Even you're married, you still got a choice man! But ultimately, play smart and be responsible. Never bring a fling or fb home to bonk or when a fling or fb gets to clingy, you need to drop her, unless you wish to drop your wife/fiancee.

[garyMoh]

TS... I guess its just human nature to be envious of others. I was the envy of many before, for having slept with many women in the trade, up till the extent of hate, but am broke and not happy... I thought having $ was more practical, so I technically slowed my life with more stable relationships. Few years later, financially more stable, but yet, kuku jiao itchy again and start getting envy of ppl bedding women :S

Such is the dilemma i guess bro. But since you're not married yet, you still got a choice. Even you're married, you still got a choice man! But ultimately, play smart and be responsible. Never bring a fling or fb home to bonk or when a fling or fb gets to clingy, you need to drop her, unless you wish to drop your wife/fiancee.

great advice scorpionnn

[dgsk]

TS,

I was like you many many years ago.

Since you sound like you've got your head screwed on correctly, I say you should plan a period of time, maybe this holiday season?, and go live the life your brother is.

Do it, get it out of your system, know yourself better, and move on. You can include your fiancee in some of your expeditions as well. It maybe good for both of you. Living a 1 sided life in our complex and fast moving society with this doubt hanging over you may bite you in the future.

I see many studious and reserved people go out of control with whatever they refrained themselves from earlier in life when they hit a magic trigger later in life. Whether its mid-life or a pedestal or whatever, it happens all too often. Just read those sex for favor civil servant cases. They are just the few unlucky to be exposed.

1 successful medical professional who suddenly bought the high life when he hit 40 and started to camp out in Zouk every Weds and weekends. Buckets and buckets of Dom each night with not much to show for it. Guess what happened to his practice?

Another guai guai friend suddenly went berserk on KTVs during the boom years of the stock market. Bao'd 2 girls from there, each with $8,000/month allowance, nice condo unit fully furnished, and a BMW. And yet, he still roamed KTVs every night.

These are just 2 examples involving girls and the entertainment scene. There are also those who go crazy over other "luxuries" they deprived themselves of in their early years. 1 bought 10 cars in 1 year. Another walks out of watch shops with a few bags every few months. And I am not talking about run of the mill cars and watches.

So, TS, go experience that side of life you are depriving yourself of now. Get it out of your system in a controlled pace. Then move on, knowing that you have been there, done that, with no regrets nor remorse, nor wanting. You'll appreciate it later in life. And remember to reward your little wants along the way so no bottled up desires blow up in your face much later.

Cheers!

[freezetheDB]

the crux is to understand what you want. Some things may be exciting for others and for us to see on a superficial level but may not be what we really want.

If life is getting stale/sterile, it may be better to try to take up a new hobby, learn a new craft or a skill. It will be a more productive effect on one's life.

[Metzloff]

@dgsk

Very interesting post. In my younger days, I was very obedient and eager to please my parents/teachers etc. Now, I want to enjoy myself a little before my time is up on this Earth.

Expensive cars and watches are fine but after a while, the pleasure you get from them is outweighed by the expense and hassle of maintaining them. But the pretty ladies.....that's something I never get tired of