Husband Having Affair! Help!!!

[Pui Pui]

My husband is having an affair. I feel very sad but i dun wan to end my marriage. Can any bros or sis advise me on wat to do?

[ol'coyote]

hmm...logical thing is talk to hubby...
illogical thing is...have your own affair...
if going for option 2...pls private message (pm) me...

[chengzc]

get a good lawyer? lol

[ah rat]

My husband is having an affair. I feel very sad but i dun wan to end my marriage. Can any bros or sis advise me on wat to do?

Sis,like that.U must try to have 1 eye open & 1 eye close :) :D

[chengzc]

im sure he dont mind u around.

but u mind being around him, closing two eyes?

[ah_heng81]

1) Talk to him . (Things may get out of hand)
2) Go for marriage counselling ( He may not want to go)
3) Let it go and find a good lawyer

[autoroam]

My husband is having an affair. I feel very sad but i dun wan to end my marriage. Can any bros or sis advise me on wat to do?

1) Gather information
2) Talk to him abt his affair
3) Divorce lor
If dun wan to divorce then pretend nothing happen lor

hmm...logical thing is talk to hubby...
illogical thing is...have your own affair...
if going for option 2...pls private message (pm) me...

Need to take Q nos????:p:p

[Pui Pui]

Wat is wrong? Is it i didnt give him enof sex tats y he do tat ? Or is it im not good in sex?

[newyorker88]

Sorry to hear that. But your account is 2005. You must be an old timer here too. 1st post also?

1) have a talk with him. Find out what happened.
2) Did you not treat him well enough?
3) usually, men stray with other woman( if not a one time affair, but long time), there is something wrong between both of your relationship that need to work out. Try to salvage. Is there something wrong between the 2 of u? Man go out to have fun at times. but does he comes home everyday n provide all?
4) If all fails, get a PI to gather evidence, if he continues. It will come in handy in court. Of cos, I don't suggest this as it will really mean the end.

[Wipedout]

So many replies, how about the most important initial question:

"How do you know?"

[Pui Pui]

As his job need him to drink most of the days but when he drink he very long then cum. So sometimes when he ask for it i jus say tired. Even if do i will say y so long haven cum. Is it wrong of me to say tat?

[a2014]

My husband is having an affair. I feel very sad but i dun wan to end my marriage. Can any bros or sis advise me on wat to do?
No details how to advise.

[Pui Pui]

Sorry its my 1st time posting so i dun really know wat to post.

[Pui Pui]

Sorry to hear that. But your account is 2005. You must be an old timer here too. 1st post also?

1) have a talk with him. Find out what happened.
2) Did you not treat him well enough?
3) usually, men stray with other woman( if not a one time affair, but long time), there is something wrong between both of your relationship that need to work out. Try to salvage. Is there something wrong between the 2 of u? Man go out to have fun at times. but does he comes home everyday n provide all?
4) If all fails, get a PI to gather evidence, if he continues. It will come in handy in court. Of cos, I don't suggest this as it will really mean the end.

As his job require him to drink most of the days n when he drink he very long then ejaculate. So sometimes when he ask for it i will say im tired. Or even if got do i also will say y so long? Is it wrong of me to say tat ?

[Pui Pui]

At days when he didnt drink he ask for a bj i also give it to him. Still not enof?

[IwantbustyKim]

OH dear.... cheer up babe....

Lots of good men in the forest (And this forum as well). My mother was very sad when my dad cheated on her...but she found a life outside...You need to see what is available to know how crappy he treated you.

[xyz321]

At days when he didnt drink he ask for a bj i also give it to him. Still not enof?

Its never enough. and yes. I don't think its nice to ask why he's taking such a long time because it just mean that you're not enjoying yourself. A jab at his ego.

[BiRd13]

It takes two hands to clap...
Will suggest to have a good talk with him...
Do you both have kids?
See if he will for the sake of kids, will not continue the affair, and still be with you...
If he doesn't, then probably you will really need to file for divorce...

I can feel your situation, as I'm in like you previously....

[urgg]

As his job require him to drink most of the days n when he drink he very long then ejaculate. So sometimes when he ask for it i will say im tired. Or even if got do i also will say y so long? Is it wrong of me to say tat ?

Hey PP, I think u mention the statement "Y so long".. To be frank, I hear liao oso sian... it is like u just do it for the sake of doing it.. i think every man wants their partner to enjoy sex together.. IMO, Y so long is the same as Y u cum so fast... Man dun like to hear tat..

I think ur genuine in asking for the advice.. sign up premium to get out of mod.. Best of luck to u! However, best thing is have a good talk with ur hubby.

[fictionman]

As his job require him to drink most of the days n when he drink he very long then ejaculate. So sometimes when he ask for it i will say im tired. Or even if got do i also will say y so long? Is it wrong of me to say tat ?

Oh dear....No wonder he jiak outside

[Pui Pui]

Oh dear....No wonder he jiak outside

What u mean?

[BiRd13]

What u mean?

Cause u mentioned 'Why so long..' after he took long time to shoot...
That y from a guy's pov, his principle is hurt...

Similar like your hb having sex with you... YOu won't like him to say 'Why so loose..'
Hurt mah...

[mseveninch]

As his job require him to drink most of the days n when he drink he very long then ejaculate. So sometimes when he ask for it i will say im tired. Or even if got do i also will say y so long? Is it wrong of me to say tat ?

Sis! it's wrong to mention the words - tired! or NOT today! when he need it!
Those words is a disaster in marriage! As a wife to prevented the husband from committing affair's - you need to fulfill his needs and well being!

Man are born to shoot and female are born as recipient's. That's make man goes to the others who could received his seeding!!!

All you could do now - talk to him and understand his needs and salvage from here. Make changes to accommodate him and as well to yourself! Once he comes around that he had someone close that resolving his needs - he is all yours!!! Goodluck!!

[Pui Pui]

Hey PP, I think u mention the statement "Y so long".. To be frank, I hear liao oso sian... it is like u just do it for the sake of doing it.. i think every man wants their partner to enjoy sex together.. IMO, Y so long is the same as Y u cum so fast... Man dun like to hear tat..

I think ur genuine in asking for the advice.. sign up premium to get out of mod.. Best of luck to u! However, best thing is have a good talk with ur hubby.

Sometimes when we do also jus a bit of foreplay only then jus do it. Isnt it like tat?

[urgg]

Sometimes when we do also jus a bit of foreplay only then jus do it. Isnt it like tat?

Well Mdm, every pple have different style and ways of having sex, some like to have a very long foreplay but some dun like to waste time just want to go straight into action..

How long have u been married with ur hubby? when he is sober, short foreplay also? by now u should noe his pattern liao..

[Pui Pui]

Sis! it's wrong to mention the words - tired! or NOT today! when he need it!
Those words is a disaster in marriage! As a wife to prevented the husband from committing affair's - you need to fulfill his needs and well being!

Man are born to shoot and female are born as recipient's. That's make man goes to the others who could received his seeding!!!

All you could do now - talk to him and understand his needs and salvage from here. Make changes to accommodate him and as well to yourself! Once he comes around that he had someone close that resolving his needs - he is all yours!!! Goodluck!!

I really dunno what shld i do. Im the passive type. If he didnt ask me so i tot he dun need it. I also seldom will initiated.

[Pui Pui]

Well Mdm, every pple have different style and ways of having sex, some like to have a very long foreplay but some dun like to waste time just want to go straight into action..

How long have u been married with ur hubby? when he is sober, short foreplay also? by now u should noe his pattern liao..
We r married for ard 10yrs. Sometimes when sober he didnt ask i also seldom will initiated.

[ah rat]

I really dunno what shld i do. Im the passive type. If he didnt ask me so i tot he dun need it. I also seldom will initiated.

Sis,next time U ask him,Do U want to piak piak me :D

[BiRd13]

We r married for ard 10yrs. Sometimes when sober he didnt ask i also seldom will initiated.

Probably that's the reason why he had affair...

Cause of boring sex...

You may want to try spice up your sex life right now...
Hoping he will turn back though...

[Pui Pui]

Probably that's the reason why he had affair...

Cause of boring sex...

You may want to try spice up your sex life right now...
Hoping he will turn back though...

So wat do i have to now? Im not really good at tis kind of thing. Isnt it jus a bit of bj then enter n jus ejaculate?

[ahseng00]

At days when he didnt drink he ask for a bj i also give it to him. Still not enof?

no offence, maybe the girl he had an affair with , does more than a BJ?

btw how did you get 20 apples?

[BiRd13]

So wat do i have to now? Im not really good at tis kind of thing. Isnt it jus a bit of bj then enter n jus ejaculate?

Spice up sex life...

Give him BJ in different way... Like putting an ice cube in your mouth, and BJ him...

The way you BJ also do makes a lot of different...

Or can wear sexy lingerie... and goes into roleplay etc...

[BiRd13]

no offence, maybe the girl he had an affair with , does more than a BJ?

btw how did you get 20 apples?

Bro... I think she's a Premium member... =D

[urgg]

So wat do i have to now? Im not really good at tis kind of thing. Isnt it jus a bit of bj then enter n jus ejaculate?

eh.. Mdm, u seems so innocent.. is that the reason y u sign up in SBF just a while after ur marriage? to come here to learn more?

[Yeo7988]

Do you love your husband ?

[urgg]

Do you love your husband ?

wah! 1 needle see blood.. :D

[Pui Pui]

eh.. Mdm, u seems so innocent.. is that the reason y u sign up in SBF just a while after ur marriage? to come here to learn more?

Im not really very active here. Sometimes can after months then log in once in a while. N i never post anything before.

[Pui Pui]

Do you love your husband ?

Of cox i love my husband! Or else i wont sign up n ask for some serious advise here.

[urgg]

Im not really very active here. Sometimes can after months then log in once in a while. N i never post anything before.

u log in here to..? sorry if i ask irrelevent qns.. cuz u seems to me like ur not interested in sex but somehow or rather u are interested in sex.. hehehe i think im freaking contradicting...

[Turtle]

Are you pui pui? Sometimes eat too much fats not healthy, so eat san san for a change. If he treats you good, close one eye lor. Keke..

[BiRd13]

Sis,

Like I suggest, spice up your sex life...

[newyorker88]

Have a talk with him. Sounds like you are very "distant" from him. Perhaps, it is time both of you talk and have a short holiday to understand each other more.

Hope all turns out well.

[Pui Pui]

u log in here to..? sorry if i ask irrelevent qns.. cuz u seems to me like ur not interested in sex but somehow or rather u are interested in sex.. hehehe i think im freaking contradicting...

Jus to get a 2nd opinion. Is it becox im not good in bed tats y he having affair outside? I didnt give him enof? Im really looking for some serious advice.

[ianlim]

As his job need him to drink most of the days but when he drink he very long then cum. So sometimes when he ask for it i jus say tired. Even if do i will say y so long haven cum. Is it wrong of me to say tat?

Frankly it is really a big turn off. Similar thing happen to me too, initially wife said tired, later stage she does not show interest and lastly show impatient face, now we have not spoken for past 8 months at all and I just have to satisfy my needs outside nowadays. I dislike looking for commercial sex outside it don't make sense why I have to pay for sex outside when I have a wife lol but what to do.

Try to be accommodating if not surely marriage will be affected in the long run.

[ah rat]

Jus to get a 2nd opinion. Is it becox im not good in bed tats y he having affair outside? I didnt give him enof? Im really looking for some serious advice.

Sis,U indeed didn't give him enough :)

[Pui Pui]

Sis,

Like I suggest, spice up your sex life...

But i dun like to watch porn. I find it disgusting. How to spice up? 😩

[urgg]

Of cox i love my husband! Or else i wont sign up n ask for some serious advise here.

U can come here to seek good and fun advice.. serious advice u better go to those marriage counsellor.. cheers.

[BiRd13]

Jus to get a 2nd opinion. Is it becox im not good in bed tats y he having affair outside? I didnt give him enof? Im really looking for some serious advice.

This may be part of the reason.

Like what many bro suggested, best to have a talk with him...

Base on what you said about some 'scenario' regarding your sex life with him, that why from guy's opinion, we feel that sex may be the causes for it...

Again, it may be some other reason in which we don't know. As we are not your hubby, so won't know what is exactly on his mind.. which cause the affair.

Maybe sex?
Maybe love?
Maybe just an excitement?

[BiRd13]

But i dun like to watch porn. I find it disgusting. How to spice up? ��

Don't need watch porn to spice up sex life...

Like I said...

1) Dress sexily... In a Lingerie...
2) Roleplay...
3) Find way to spice up foreplay, like putting an ice cube in your mouth, and give him a BJ
4) Google for more way to spice up sex life

[urgg]

Don't need watch porn to spice up sex life...

Like I said...

1) Dress sexily... In a Lingerie...
2) Roleplay...
3) Find way to spice up foreplay, like putting an ice cube in your mouth, and give him a BJ
4) Google for more way to spice up sex life

Bro, number 3 seems difficult for PP to do... later drop the ice on the kkj.. no joke.. PP, dun try hot water oso..

[Jariel]

Jus to get a 2nd opinion. Is it becox im not good in bed tats y he having affair outside? I didnt give him enof? Im really looking for some serious advice.

Sis, it is not that you are not good in bed that is why he is having an affair. Us, men are very simple creature that needs to be loved and pamper too. Try doing something kinky ( outdoor sex maybe.. :D ) A blowjob to wake him up in the morning might be an option as well.

[Yeo7988]

Ok now I understand. Whatever u have done for him is consider as a good wife at least from my point of view.

By right he should treasure you.
But by left u make too many comment on that spur of moment n too insensitive to your husband.

Try to be more sensitive toward ur husband
Must not make any negative remark during ONS

Best is no talking more action.......:eek:
101 percent will improve trust me u r a replicate of my wife

[ianlim]

At days when he didnt drink he ask for a bj i also give it to him. Still not enof?

A mechanical bj is not going to do any good, without sense of being love or doing it for love it don't work.

[BiRd13]

Bro, number 3 seems difficult for PP to do... later drop the ice on the kkj.. no joke.. PP, dun try hot water oso..

Haha.. That y suggest ice cube, instead of hot water mah =D
Drop on kkj oso nvm... it mostly will slip and drop off de...

[Jariel]

Frankly it is really a big turn off. Similar thing happen to me too, initially wife said tired, later stage she does not show interest and lastly show impatient face, now we have not spoken for past 8 months at all and I just have to satisfy my needs outside nowadays. I dislike looking for commercial sex outside it don't make sense why I have to pay for sex outside when I have a wife lol but what to do.

Try to be accommodating if not surely marriage will be affected in the long run.

Bro i totally know how you feel :(....

[autoroam]

Do you love your husband ?

The more important question will be....

Do you think your husband still loves u?????:rolleyes:

[BiRd13]

The more important question will be....

Do you think your husband still loves u?????:rolleyes:

Wa..this lagi hurt... lol

[Michelle162]

Hi there fellow Sis,

I'm in the same predicament as you unfortunately and I'll share a couple of notes my friends have told me:

1) Have a sit-down with your husband to talk things over. Find out what's the cause of him straying. Is it something that the both of you can overcome? Hubby feeling bored and wanting to spice things up with someone new?
2) Go for a health checkup pronto, just in case and you can never be too safe.

[BobbyBoo]

I'm sorry to hear that you're in this predicament.

There are many reasons for why your husband has strayed and it may not be constructive to find the person to blame for this. It is best to focus on what's the next steps you should take.

First, you already know you don't want the marriage to end. So the best is to confront him on this issue. I'm guessing you've found some sort of evidence linking him in a romantic/sexual relationship with another woman. Show him the proof and if the proof was acquired through a method that can be considered a breach of trust, you will have to admit to that and not deflect.

Being defensive towards your actions will only steer the conversation/argument away from the main issue of his infidelity.

Next, is to ask/discuss with him if he wants this marriage to work. If he does not want it to work, you're fighting a losing battle and should consider a divorce.

If he wants the marriage to work, then you and him should find a marriage counselor. The trick here is that this has to be like Inception; He has to be the one to want to go to a marriage counselor. You can do this by asking him what can be done to save the marriage, let him give suggestions. If there are no ideas, suggest a marriage counselor because it might help.

The suggestion for a marriage counselor should not be a command. Remember, you have to manipulate him into thinking that it is a good idea because he suggested it, when it is you who actually suggested it.

Be patient at all time. This is something you are initiating so, in a way, you have more to gain that him. You have to be humble and be patient when trying to convince him of anything. He may not be in the right, but it doesn't automatically put you above him.

I hope this makes sense and helps you in some way.

[manega]

Jus to get a 2nd opinion. Is it becox im not good in bed tats y he having affair outside? I didnt give him enof? Im really looking for some serious advice.

May I ask how old are u currently? Man are ego creature. Instead of saying why so long nv come say fuck me harder, shiok ahhh. When u say seductive stuff u will make him feel even better and cum faster. Trying watching some jap porn to get some idea. Look at how the gal seduce the guy with the eyes, facial expression and mouth techniques. Look at yrself in the mirror, do u show excitement when u are doing it? Guy want gal to feel good too not just the sake for doing it. Try to hunger for it, it will spice up ur life, u probably shd get some new sexy undergarment. But before u put in the effort, it better to talk to him. If I not wrong u might have some issue communicating to him? Try to make a time when both of u are at home then call each other to sort thing out. Thing might be hard to talk about when u are face to face. Let him know u are willing to try new thing but u have to realise whether he is worth to spend the rest of ur life with.

It just my 2 cents, I might be wrong in certain aspects but I believe u know yrself the best since u guys have been thru so much. U just need some ideas to work thing out. I can see that u are searching for answer and I wish you all the best.

[manega]

But i dun like to watch porn. I find it disgusting. How to spice up? 😩

Try watching hentai then, some gals find it funny, just to get some idea of other way to bj :p

[MoJoe313]

Jus to get a 2nd opinion. Is it becox im not good in bed tats y he having affair outside? I didnt give him enof? Im really looking for some serious advice.

Not really. Sex may not be the only thing. Sometimes, need romance. But men can be very jian. See woman, want woman. Anyone offers, he takes. With reason or no reason. Its like a conquest thingy.

Do you have kids? If yes, you got him by the balls.

If no, your position abit shaky. Need more info to advise. How old is he, how is your relationship, what sort of man is he, is it just a fling etc

[Pui Pui]

A mechanical bj is not going to do any good, without sense of being love or doing it for love it don't work.

Sometimes when i bj him halfway he will try to stop me cox i think he is cumming but i jus keep go on n make him ejaculate. Is tat right?

[autoroam]

Wa..this lagi hurt... lol
The truth hurts.....

I dislike looking for commercial sex outside it don't make sense why I have to pay for sex outside when I have a wife lol but what to do.

He only look for commercial sex and not affair..... Which says, he still have feeling for his wife and responsibility to his family (wife & kids)

But TS husband is having affair....... he is looking for something more than SEX

[BiRd13]

Sometimes when i bj him halfway he will try to stop me cox i think he is cumming but i jus keep go on n make him ejaculate. Is tat right?

Instead of asking Is that right...
Why don't ask him? :confused:

He is the best person to tell you if you are doing right or not...

[Pui Pui]

The more important question will be....

Do you think your husband still loves u?????:rolleyes:

I can sense he still loves me. He is still supporting the family n bringing the bread bk. Is it becox i have not done enof ? Not enof as in sex or other things?

[sadsky18]

ts ,

seriously , by talking to us or asking advice here WONT do any good to u .

if u can ASK strangers ( this forum ) , why dont just ask yr husband face to face .

its will solve everything .

either carry on as husband and wife or just divorce ..

simple ..

whats the point of doing on your part but he just fling flirt outside .

u will feel more hurts in the end .

if this issue is true , faster sit down and talk to him .

if he wan to discuss , means still hve hope . if he reject you , means you can kiss him good bye .

[ragnaboard]

Jus to get a 2nd opinion. Is it becox im not good in bed tats y he having affair outside? I didnt give him enof? Im really looking for some serious advice.

is because TS u didnt make him feel enjoy. Or rather say, you make him feel you intentionally to deter him on bed. Frankly speaking, no man can accept this. I m an outsider and i can already feel the pain of hubby just from ur few lines of description and yet ur man can stand it for 10+ years.

in fact, u seriously think ur bed is ur only problem? what about ur attitude when u speak with him? How long have u not ended ur discussion with him on quarrel.

if TS u really wanna save ur marriage, maybe is time to change.

[Yoshi]

So wat do i have to now? Im not really good at tis kind of thing. Isnt it jus a bit of bj then enter n jus ejaculate?

Pui Pui,

U hv premium account and still say you dunno?

U hv access to all the tutorials on how to please your man and have a fantastic sex life.

BUt above all, talk and see what is the problem. I bet you havent spoken to him yet.

in 2015, take action! Talk then you initiate sex.

[6Friendly9]

Sometimes when i bj him halfway he will try to stop me cox i think he is cumming but i jus keep go on n make him ejaculate. Is tat right?

==> dun think, dun assume.... ask him if he wanna unload into your mouth or shoot deep into you down under.... wanna give bj, better do all the way... mai knn leaves him half hanging, die cock standing.... he sure go out look for help one.... and pls for your own sake, dun show those disgusting reaction when he explodes... just take it down if he unloads in your mouth.... and continue "keeping it warm" in your mouth till he puncture... get what I mean??

[Edios821]

I'm sad to hear that.
1)You can ask third party to talk to him.
2)Or confront him but thing might not work out happily.
Ask yourself do you still love him if yes, tried to talk with his siblings ard but must
be firm.
3) be brave n look forward life still moves on
dun be affected by him..

[Yeo7988]

One word of advice " Follow his direction n u will never go wrong "


Just simply be his taxi driver for tat journey.

U can be sure both of u reach the desination wif a big smile... :D

[Pui Pui]

Pui Pui,

U hv premium account and still say you dunno?

U hv access to all the tutorials on how to please your man and have a fantastic sex life.

BUt above all, talk and see what is the problem. I bet you havent spoken to him yet.

in 2015, take action! Talk then you initiate sex.

I particularly sign up today n post tis thing. Before tat im not a premium member.

[Pui Pui]

==> dun think, dun assume.... ask him if he wanna unload into your mouth or shoot deep into you down under.... wanna give bj, better do all the way... mai knn leaves him half hanging, die cock standing.... he sure go out look for help one.... and pls for your own sake, dun show those disgusting reaction when he explodes... just take it down if he unloads in your mouth.... and continue "keeping it warm" in your mouth till he puncture... get what I mean??

Oh shit i really show tat kind of reaction when he ejaculate.

[urgg]

==> dun think, dun assume.... ask him if he wanna unload into your mouth or shoot deep into you down under.... wanna give bj, better do all the way... mai knn leaves him half hanging, die cock standing.... he sure go out look for help one.... and pls for your own sake, dun show those disgusting reaction when he explodes... just take it down if he unloads in your mouth.... and continue "keeping it warm" in your mouth till he puncture... get what I mean??

Like a boss.. :D

[sadsky18]

seriously , is this ts making up story just to get attention ..

this kind of things no need to teach or guide .

why she is acting like a 16 yr old kids

[6Friendly9]

Oh shit i really show tat kind of reaction when he ejaculate.

==> nvm, its a learning experience.... next round, u better do the right thing lor.... but u dun suddenly overnight become or show expert skillset else he will wander.... if he ever press u for answer, jus say you're learning from those write up found in internet... NEVER EVER MENTION THIS FORUM!!!

[dopplerlex]

Sis, I think the crux is to enjoy love making. Its not just sex. It is a whole lot more when u make love to him.

It should be enjoyable to the both of you. Imagine u doing something you think your husband will like. But every time u do it, your husband give u the 'ok lor' look and sometimes give u the disgusted look. U sure bua song right?

I don't know your age but I suspect u haven't really enjoyed intimate sex before? Probably get a toy and enjoy yourself, let loose!

[Pui Pui]

seriously , is this ts making up story just to get attention ..

this kind of things no need to teach or guide .

why she is acting like a 16 yr old kids

Im seriously not making up story. Maybe u r an expert but i can tell u im not. If u dun like wat u see in tis thread then dun click it. Btw no offence.

[BiRd13]

Im seriously not making up story. Maybe u r an expert but i can tell u im not. If u dun like wat u see in tis thread then dun click it. Btw no offence.

Cool down. This is a Free of Speech Forum... =)

When start a thread or post, have to get ready to receive such comment.


You want people to give you advice, yet, you don't say out the whole scenario, what we can give advice, is only base on what you say...

Like I said, there's many other possibility as well.

[Pui Pui]

Cool down. This is a Free of Speech Forum... =)

When start a thread or post, have to get ready to receive such comment.


You want people to give you advice, yet, you don't say out the whole scenario, what we can give advice, is only base on what you say...

Like I said, there's many other possibility as well.

Actually I'm quite a stubborn person. Sometimes when I noe I do wrong but I still won't say sorry. Sometimes when I noe he say one is right I also won't admit it.

[Xgenre]

Allow me to share my thoughts.

Question: Why did he cheat on you?
Answer: Go find out the root causes.

Question: How did he cheat on you?
Answer: With another girl, he visit prostitutes or whatever... The answer here is really just a symptom of the root causes.

Learning how to increase the frequency, quality and variety of sex does not answer why he cheated on you. What are the root causes? Learning how to increase the frequency, quality and variety of sex will just distract him for a while. Whatever you do, he will get bored of it eventually if you have not solve the issues that are the root causes. Answer the how questions often do not solve the problem.

Go talk to him and find out what is wrong. Answering the why questions will help you. Solving things are the root level will help build a long-lasting marriage.

[Pui Pui]

Sis, I think the crux is to enjoy love making. Its not just sex. It is a whole lot more when u make love to him.

It should be enjoyable to the both of you. Imagine u doing something you think your husband will like. But every time u do it, your husband give u the 'ok lor' look and sometimes give u the disgusted look. U sure bua song right?

I don't know your age but I suspect u haven't really enjoyed intimate sex before? Probably get a toy and enjoy yourself, let loose!

Maybe wat u r saying is right.

[Pui Pui]

==> nvm, its a learning experience.... next round, u better do the right thing lor.... but u dun suddenly overnight become or show expert skillset else he will wander.... if he ever press u for answer, jus say you're learning from those write up found in internet... NEVER EVER MENTION THIS FORUM!!!

Oh ok. But dun think I will so fast pick up the skill.

[sadsky18]

Im seriously not making up story. Maybe u r an expert but i can tell u im not. If u dun like wat u see in tis thread then dun click it. Btw no offence.

the way u reply the broz here is showing you are a small kids .


already married for 10 years and u still act like you are small kids mind set .

either u are attention seeker or you are out of your mind .

a simple face to face with yr hubby will solve all your doubtz .

yets you are trying to pick up skills from bros here to improve your sex life ?

omg ....

maybe you are a rare case but seijously i doubt it ..

fine 忠言逆耳 。。

u can carry on the searching for your answer here then ..

[whatdoido]

My 2 cents

1) talk to your hubby, communication is very important in any relationship
2) you say he have an affair, what did you find?
3) guys don't like to be rejected, after a few times of you are tired, he will give up.
4) he can lick you till u cum and taste your juice, why do u need to show him the face when he cum in your mouth

[Pui Pui]

My 2 cents

1) talk to your hubby, communication is very important in any relationship
2) you say he have an affair, what did you find?
3) guys don't like to be rejected, after a few times of you are tired, he will give up.
4) he can lick you till u cum and taste your juice, why do u need to show him the face when he cum in your mouth

Ya I also realized he never ask me for it liao.

[whatdoido]

Ya I also realized he never ask me for it liao.

So it's time u initiate

[firejalan]

Or even if got do i also will say y so long? Is it wrong of me to say tat ?

Super wrong!!
Totally anti climax...
Ever think coz u also not able to excite him just line initially,
I also think he is not able to excite u much too?
Bored n routine..

[firejalan]

So wat do i have to now? Im not really good at tis kind of thing. Isnt it jus a bit of bj then enter n jus ejaculate?

Ve u not read enough story to know what to do??

[firejalan]

Jus to get a 2nd opinion. Is it becox im not good in bed tats y he having affair outside? I didnt give him enof? Im really looking for some serious advice.

I tend to disagree...
Ya.... Great sex is great...
How much more great sex u can do ??
U c how matter guy w pretty wife also eat outside..
Do e same thing after 10 years... Also will sian..
I think both if u need to 've some common interests.. common goal...
Ve some intellectual communication..
Seriously y do u want to stay married... For what??

[firejalan]

But i dun like to watch porn. I find it disgusting. How to spice up? 😩

U willing to put a dick in ur mouth... U still think porn is disgusting ??

[StillLearning]

Wat is wrong? Is it i didnt give him enof sex tats y he do tat ? Or is it im not good in sex?

There may be more than one reason or factor.
1. he may not get enough of hugs and kisses, and sex at home, and therefore, chose to "eat out"
2. he may be going for "fling(s)"
3. he may have found a loving and caring woman
4. he is "bored" and decided to explore some "variety"
5. other

[maxim24]

As his job need him to drink most of the days but when he drink he very long then cum. So sometimes when he ask for it i jus say tired. Even if do i will say y so long haven cum. Is it wrong of me to say tat?

lol...guys want take it slow slow....wife want it fast settle maybe.....maybe need to enjoy the process

[firejalan]

Hi there fellow Sis,

I'm in the same predicament as you unfortunately and I'll share a couple of notes my friends have told me.

Convenient to share ur story..? eventually what happen..

[maxim24]

Sometimes when i bj him halfway he will try to stop me cox i think he is cumming but i jus keep go on n make him ejaculate. Is tat right?

maybe stop and go for real lo....he needs pussy....

[StillLearning]

Of cox i love my husband! Or else i wont sign up n ask for some serious advise here.

Do you intentionally write this way to "cover your identity"?

"Of cox" ,,,, "some serious advise"

[firejalan]

Actually I'm quite a stubborn person. Sometimes when I noe I do wrong but I still won't say sorry. Sometimes when I noe he say one is right I also won't admit it.

Gone case !!!

[firejalan]

My 2 cents

1) talk to your hubby, communication is very important in any relationship
2) you say he have an affair, what did you find?
3) guys don't like to be rejected, after a few times of you are tired, he will give up.
4) he can lick you till u cum and taste your juice, why do u need to show him the face when he cum in your mouth

TS.. Ppl asking for infor...
U ask for advise yet, refuse to answer our query ...
No much head n tail...!!

[ianlim]

Sometimes when i bj him halfway he will try to stop me cox i think he is cumming but i jus keep go on n make him ejaculate. Is tat right?

he is pissed off and wanna stop or really cumming? don't make sense if going to cum then wanna stop, the connection between you 2 at that time may not be there, spend more time communicating/connecting with him and making him knows that you enjoy it as well may helps

[ianlim]

Actually I'm quite a stubborn person. Sometimes when I noe I do wrong but I still won't say sorry. Sometimes when I noe he say one is right I also won't admit it.

you should have hurt his ego during daily life and sex sessions with your stubborn attitude, if you can change your attitude and be a little more submissive it may helps, however if he have branch out for too long already then good luck

[ianlim]

Oh shit i really show tat kind of reaction when he ejaculate.

The disgusting reaction when he unloaded into your mouth will surely piss him off, he will surely get someone outside who accept his cum readily and seems to enjoy it. Will you enjoy it if your hubby keep washing his mouth mid way when he is painting you, I am sure you will be hurt too thinking that am I that dirty down there?

[sadfa]

Jus becos he's fucking around, doesn't mean he's nt gettin enough sex frm you.
You never mention is he fucking someone he knows, ons or pros which makes a difference
And when u fk him, you needn't smile like u r serving him Starbucks coffee.

Marriage isn't sex sex sex.
You married him so you should know his character well enough. N frm there, you shouod know why he stray

N If you got F cup breasts n gives him gd sex every nite, he can still stray. Simply becos t gal is not you.

[DemonicSS]

The very problem is that you are treating sex as a chore and a form of duty. Thinking in this way makes you no different from a statue in the eyes of your hubby. You do not seek out for his enjoyment and because of your mindset, you give excuses to avoid it. Doing it sometimes doesn't count. To solve your problem, you need to do some self exploration as to what you want in sex. If you still think most acts in bed disgusting and offensive, then the simplest way is to keep quiet and let your hubby have fun outside. The choice is yours.

[sicknasty]

Buy some roleplay costume it helps , shows that you're willing to give it to him I think that's the best thing a married man would be contented .

You're exactly like my gf.. The temper everything..

I kinda know why he stray.

I think he had enough. His ego and everything . Feeling horny for you but scare Kenna reject or scold by you .
I think sometimes wife should be happy their husband wanna make love with them. it's shows they want you.
If keep kenna reject I also dont want ask liao. Okay anyway after so many post from SBF.

Anything changes your mindset ? What you gonna do next . If don't know try ask more then share with us so I think the rest of senior here can advise you.. Lastly I wish you best for your marriage .

[ianlim]

btw what is your age and his? when we are younger the physical need is more important than emotional need

[shaolin_kid]

My husband is having an affair. I feel very sad but i dun wan to end my marriage. Can any bros or sis advise me on wat to do?


Marriage is not about sex only, its the mutual feeling and understanding, common interest, respect and many more. Even if you had a wonderful fantastically sex life, there is no guarantee that the marriage will last forever.

Hanging on to a unhappy marriage will only hurt you more, women should learn how to let go and start afresh if one party decides to initiate divorce.

We are all human, in a marriage, couple need mutual feeling in order to live happily forever and not just one party clinging on to a unhappy marriage.

You will come to your senses when your mind is clearer !!!

Namo Or Me Tao Fu :D

[shaolin_kid]

btw what is your age and his? when we are younger the physical need is more important than emotional need


Yes I'm also interested to know both their age gap ;)

[Heshame]

He keeping a mistress/gf/fubu or just go spa for WL/FL? If the former then you do have a problem, if the latter then you buy him condom and tell him to be safe lor, since you yourself don't enjoy sex.

[PoseidonSGP]

Don't need watch porn to spice up sex life...

Like I said...

1) Dress sexily... In a Lingerie...
2) Roleplay...
3) Find way to spice up foreplay, like putting an ice cube in your mouth, and give him a BJ
4) Google for more way to spice up sex life

Bro it seems like TS is not interested in sex at all.. shes doing it for the sake of her husband wanting it.. and to TS i think your husband would cum faster if he see's you enjoying having sex with him rather to ask him why it took him so long to cum. Just my 2cents.. sorry if i am rude or say anything wrong. im just like TS made an account but has been a silent reader up till now.. so HI SBF.

[Pui Pui]

lol...guys want take it slow slow....wife want it fast settle maybe.....maybe need to enjoy the process

Ya maybe. Maybe I find it too long to bj him tats y when he stop me from Gog on but I still go on to make it short n sharp n make him ejaculate.

[ianlim]

He keeping a mistress/gf/fubu or just go spa for WL/FL? If the former then you do have a problem, if the latter then you buy him condom and tell him to be safe lor, since you yourself don't enjoy sex.

this reminds me of a fren's wife who bought him condom for his overseas business trip lol

[MoJoe313]

this reminds me of a fren's wife who bought him condom for his overseas business trip lol

Wow. Got so open minded wife one ah?

[21MARTELL]

He done it once he is gona do it again, it's only the matter of time, my advice get all the evidence u have now, and just keep it to urself for the time being, if
Confront him about it and swallow ur pride to give him another chance, but if he do it again, gather all evidence and bring it to a lawyer. Woman are better of rich and a widow then no money no husband.

[Pui Pui]

Yes I'm also interested to know both their age gap ;)

We r both 30plus but I'm older than my hubby by 1 yr old.

[kevin123]

Sad to hear your story.
I do have almost the same story. But that is my wife which is same like you passive one. Need to press button then can work just like a machine.
You need to be more proactive on ur husband. Man go out work stress come back home want to destress wife say dun want u so long then cum. What will he think?

Give him one gd hell of sex and see how he react.

Ps. My wife doesn't even bj me. Sad. Anyway going to end 13yr marriage because of my affair.

[benxiong]

Hello sister . Here are my thoughts . Things which you mentioned about what you think is enough makes me wonder does he or has he show you since the two of you start off any actions , feelings that make you feel he wants you to enjoy ? If he did , means he loves you alot and always want you to enjoy first before him . If since start , when making out , he just did like what you mentioned , do , ejaculate and done . Then I doubt he loves you . Or maybe marry you for the sake of marry . I believed when a guy treat or make a woman feel love , woman sure can feel it and will reciprocate by giving him what he likes . She will not feel or think whether is it enough of not . She would feel had she did her best to satisfy her man . From your writing , to me , it seems you don't know or understand what your man like . To me , when you wrote you think or your comments about him taking very long , seems like you don't really love him too . Therefore , if I am right , you have to ask yourself and him do you guys really love each other or not . In many cases , guys eat outside is because wifey don't satisfy them or can't give them enough . The remaining guys who cheat are mostly they are hum sup or see one , like one . But if got children, most men will stay on to the marriage . Unless , the female doesnt want and want to divorce . No offence to anyone .

[pussylicious12345]

As his job need him to drink most of the days but when he drink he very long then cum. So sometimes when he ask for it i jus say tired. Even if do i will say y so long haven cum. Is it wrong of me to say tat?

Ah pui, this is exactly what lousy WLs would say when their customers are taking longer than usual to cum. Such comments made the customers felt like the WL is just doing a job, wants to get the deed over and done with, and move on to the next customer....

[Greendevil]

TS, the way u have express your sex with your husband make it sound like a chore.

1) First, you say you are tired - your man who is working, trying to bring the bread on the table is also tired.

2) Second, Why take so long - Like many samster mention, it reallly a turn off. and as you mention, sometimes he has to entertain ppl. did you know sometimes the fustration he has to deal with and yet has to put up a smiling face when go entertain ppl. he goes home, want to have some sweet love with his wife, and you just 'put up a show' for him. back in his head, he will probably be thinking, do until so buay song, then don do liao la.

3)third, i bj him very long and i still let him release - if i was in his shoes, i look down see a buay song face or a expression that tell me "when the hell are you coming?" "Can you just shoot PLEASSSEEE", but u been his wife, he also don wanna hurt your feeling and tell you, sian la don want liao, so what his little brain think...."nabei, jus shoot and let get over it,sian".

it take two hand to clap. if the wife is good, why will he wanna go out and eat. even with the external pull factor, if you never have given the push as well, will he be so easily seduce by the flowers ard him?

Like many have mention, try initating sex. but remember, it can be a double edge sword. if the sex left him with a sour taste, he will jus feel it a chore like who you have been doing to him (ok let get this done and go to sleep).also, he may also think it a foolish attempt by you to try to squeeze him dry so he wont go out to eat.

My advice to you is, learn to enjoy the sex first. No point faking it. he is someone who you knows for many year, slept whom countless nite. he will know it when you are faking it. or at least your vagina wont lie; he will sense it if it dry like a desert or doesnt even contract.

[urgg]

Sad to hear your story.
I do have almost the same story. But that is my wife which is same like you passive one. Need to press button then can work just like a machine.
You need to be more proactive on ur husband. Man go out work stress come back home want to destress wife say dun want u so long then cum. What will he think?

Give him one gd hell of sex and see how he react.

Ps. My wife doesn't even bj me. Sad. Anyway going to end 13yr marriage because of my affair.

To be married for 13 years is not easy feat.. Bro hope u dun regret.

[divedeeper]

My husband is having an affair. I feel very sad but i dun wan to end my marriage. Can any bros or sis advise me on wat to do?Sis, do you know for certain he is having an affair or do you just think he is having an affair? There is a big difference.

If he stays out late, it's possible he is with someone else. If he is not interested in sex with you, it's possible that is because he is having sex with someone else.

You several choices.

You can do nothing except keep wondering and pretending nothing is happening.

You not saying anything, but try and spend more time with him and try to seduce him to see if that improves your marriage.

If you're not sure he's having an affair, you can ask him and see what he says.

If you're sure he's having an affair, you can ask him why.

There are consequences of each choice.

[divedeeper]

As his job need him to drink most of the days but when he drink he very long then cum. So sometimes when he ask for it i jus say tired. Even if do i will say y so long haven cum. Is it wrong of me to say tat?This could be true or false. If he's not interested in sec or doesn't cum, maybe he's getting it somewhere else.

[hotdick69]

To maintain a marriage life is never easy...... all humans will take for granted things that you have after many years..... before marriage couples would do things to please each other..... but as time goes by everyone will just slowly stop.... that's when problem comes..... 12 years of marriage like mine ended in just 2 months

Most women will blame the man.... saying if a man really loves u he will not eat outside..... have women ever thought of turning the table around and put yourself in the man shoes..... when your all so horny and ready to make love..... what u get is sorry I very tired..... or just strip naked then touch abit or BJ abit see hard just put in after women cum then ask hubby faster cum whole process only take 10mins...... :mad::mad:

I think nowadays both parties have stop enjoying the true meaning of making love.... now its more like its my duty as a spouse so just give.....its then call sex.... not making love

Men and women are the same we all like the process of it.... and not the end product of cumming and its over

just my 2 cents

[Night70]

Why man are having affair it`s abit of everything..Sex..Communication..bored with the Usual lifestyle or looking for something new ,like what most brothers says here find the root of the problem hint to him you know about the affair don`t confront him show more care and love maybe he will just end it and come back..I am married for 17 years but I still have affairs ,flings and eat outside but home is always my first Priority

[Pui Pui]

Thanks everyone here for the advices. Truely grateful for those who really give me sincere advices.

[chnhubby71]

If you really love him, ask him to sit down and have a good chat to understand what is the breakdown that cause him to stray outside. And do not blame him as problem occurs only when someone is lonely or lack of sex.

Each of us have different sex urge and drive. hope it can solve by communication rather than blaming each others on the problem that had just started. Hope you have a happy ending. cheer!!!

[BiRd13]

Overall one word of advice...

COMMUNICATION!!

Have a talk with your hubby, and find out the reason WHY. Instead of being here, guessing or asking for advice...

[firejalan]

Thanks everyone here for the advices. Truely grateful for those who really give me sincere advices.

All e best to u....
Do update us if u can..

[Pui Pui]

All e best to u....
Do update us if u can..

Ok. I definitely will. Thks.

[Pui Pui]

Overall one word of advice...

COMMUNICATION!!

Have a talk with your hubby, and find out the reason WHY. Instead of being here, guessing or asking for advice...

Ya. Tats wat i think also. Communication is very important.

[BiRd13]

Ya. Tats wat i think also. Communication is very important.

Yes. Talk to him, and find out the reason why...

[ianlim]

Sad to hear your story.
I do have almost the same story. But that is my wife which is same like you passive one. Need to press button then can work just like a machine.
You need to be more proactive on ur husband. Man go out work stress come back home want to destress wife say dun want u so long then cum. What will he think?

Give him one gd hell of sex and see how he react.

Ps. My wife doesn't even bj me. Sad. Anyway going to end 13yr marriage because of my affair.

sad thing that this seems the norm - bad sex, rejected/no sex, outside sex then have affair and lastly marriage end

[valkyrierune]

To maintain a marriage life is never easy...... all humans will take for granted things that you have after many years..... before marriage couples would do things to please each other..... but as time goes by everyone will just slowly stop.... that's when problem comes..... 12 years of marriage like mine ended in just 2 months

Most women will blame the man.... saying if a man really loves u he will not eat outside..... have women ever thought of turning the table around and put yourself in the man shoes..... when your all so horny and ready to make love..... what u get is sorry I very tired..... or just strip naked then touch abit or BJ abit see hard just put in after women cum then ask hubby faster cum whole process only take 10mins...... :mad::mad:

I think nowadays both parties have stop enjoying the true meaning of making love.... now its more like its my duty as a spouse so just give.....its then call sex.... not making love

Men and women are the same we all like the process of it.... and not the end product of cumming and its over

just my 2 cents


agree !!! mine ended too.. but 4 yrs of no sex...

it takes 2 hands to clap but alot people just take things for granted and blame the man or the child.

[Angela1993]

you don't deserve such a guy. there are a lot of guys out there!

[Botakhead]

Ya I also realized he never ask me for it liao.

He already found outside makan better than home cooked food.

[Botakhead]

Ya. Tats wat i think also. Communication is very important.

Your stubborn attitude got to change, use a soft approach, be more gentle and submissive.

If nothing changes, talk so much also no use, later end up hot-headed and quarrelling, never ending story.

But if you're open for sexual advice, try our samsters' services, sure to improve gau gau one.

[Botakhead]

sad thing that this seems the norm - bad sex, rejected/no sex, outside sex then have affair and lastly marriage end

Not true, my friend still stayed married, she already see through life, only her children keeping her company, but she still enjoys her occassional sexual encounter with her hubby, with condom, because he, like me, also fucks outside.

[iluvbreast]

Ya. Tats wat i think also. Communication is very important.

Chanced upon this thread, so I be kaypo a bit, sis pui pui, don't share with us some background info into the problem. We know you are married for more than a dacade, both of you are in your 30s, that's about it. Maybe you can let us know like:
-do both of you work?
-long hours/stressful work enviroment?
-any kids?
-how do you rate both your looks?
-how was sex like before marriage?

I gather from your postings that you don't seems to enjoy the sex with your husband very much? Is that always the case?

I think you made a right move to come here to ask for sexual advice, men know men better than women knowing men, just like many of my lady friends always tell me the man don't get it.

Let us know ya so that we can offer better suggestions after knowing more insights:D

[Pui Pui]

Actually the problem abt our sex thing have been gog on for abt a few years liao. I think i also didnt give him enof sex cox everytime when he is drunk i dun do it wif him. Cox i find him very long then cum. N i seldom will initiated 1st.

[BiRd13]

Actually the problem abt our sex thing have been gog on for abt a few years liao. I think i also didnt give him enof sex cox everytime when he is drunk i dun do it wif him. Cox i find him very long then cum. N i seldom will initiated 1st.

Have you talk to your hubby?

This may not be the exact reason my dear...

[Pui Pui]

Your stubborn attitude got to change, use a soft approach, be more gentle and submissive.

If nothing changes, talk so much also no use, later end up hot-headed and quarrelling, never ending story.

But if you're open for sexual advice, try our samsters' services, sure to improve gau gau one.

Ya i admit i a bit stubborn. Maybe i have to change a bit also.

[Botakhead]

If you need to practise, let us know, many of us here will be willing to teach you how to becum a better sex lover.

[iluvbreast]

Actually the problem abt our sex thing have been gog on for abt a few years liao. I think i also didnt give him enof sex cox everytime when he is drunk i dun do it wif him. Cox i find him very long then cum. N i seldom will initiated 1st.

Have you talk to your hubby?

This may not be the exact reason my dear...

Agreed with Bro BiRd13, actually this is not my business but I do beg your pardon sis Pui Pui, what I'm about to say may be bit harsh.

The problem may not be not enough sex, consider the problem of non-satisfying sex. Although you often heard that men can seperate sex and love; the special one which we cannot seperate, is when we have sex with our wife.

So don't do it while the man is drunk, or don't initiate? For me I will get turn off so even next when making love, I will also feel sian, why so many restrictions one? she still love me or not? Sex will not be good.

I don't know about your hubby; when I entertain, I get surrounded by so many pretty WLs, granted you can hug, can teh nehneh etc. but I don't f*** the WL, when I go back afterwards, I need to release. My gal also don't like to make love with me when I drunk (although she never say but can tell), she will hug me to sleep but not before give a few kisses to my d*** and rubbing it, in fact more often than not, I would fell asleep with her holding on to it, and next morning....:p

Like I said I can't offer suggestions since I don't know anything (you are not answering my questions); sis Pui Pui, maybe you should seek professional help. My only suggestion, like what BiRd13 is saying, may or may not be a sex problem after all. Cheers