Need opinions. Don't know what to do

[cockster12345]

specially created an account so that I can seek some advice from the bros here. although i might sound like a loser here. haha.

im in my late 20s and got married recently. i love my wife a lot and so does she. after all, she has spent almost a decade with me. everything is fine and we are in a loving relationship. However, the only thing that bothers me is that we dont make love as often as we used to.

even when we do, she'll be unenthusiastic, and will just lay there. it's ok if i have to do all the work, but it seems like she just does not want it, and i dont wish to to force myself on her. she seems to be uninterested in making love, and will always come up with different excuses (period, tired, etc.). ive gotten quite sian of asking already also.

it has gotten to a point where i've sought FL to fulfill my sexual urges, and im not sure if it's the appropriate thing to do.

bros, what should i do? should i tell my wife about it? or is it ok to continue what i am doing, or even finding a FWB?

[yuddle]

specially created an account so that I can seek some advice from the bros here. although i might sound like a loser here. haha.

im in my late 20s and got married recently. i love my wife a lot and so does she. after all, she has spent almost a decade with me. everything is fine and we are in a loving relationship. However, the only thing that bothers me is that we dont make love as often as we used to.

even when we do, she'll be unenthusiastic, and will just lay there. it's ok if i have to do all the work, but it seems like she just does not want it, and i dont wish to to force myself on her. she seems to be uninterested in making love, and will always come up with different excuses (period, tired, etc.). ive gotten quite sian of asking already also.

it has gotten to a point where i've sought FL to fulfill my sexual urges, and im not sure if it's the appropriate thing to do.

bros, what should i do? should i tell my wife about it? or is it ok to continue what i am doing, or even finding a FWB?

TS, maybe you are from a different era, where one man needs his four wives to be fulfilled

[Siriusam]

don't be a cockster lah, tell your wife means it's the end for the both of you. Continue to love and cherish her but continue to fuck around outside. Don't let her find out. Don't have to be upset the next time she show you attitude on bed cuz you can always get your desires fulfilled outside.

[Disillusioned99]

specially created an account so that I can seek some advice from the bros here. although i might sound like a loser here. haha.

im in my late 20s and got married recently. i love my wife a lot and so does she. after all, she has spent almost a decade with me. everything is fine and we are in a loving relationship. However, the only thing that bothers me is that we dont make love as often as we used to.

even when we do, she'll be unenthusiastic, and will just lay there. it's ok if i have to do all the work, but it seems like she just does not want it, and i dont wish to to force myself on her. she seems to be uninterested in making love, and will always come up with different excuses (period, tired, etc.). ive gotten quite sian of asking already also.

it has gotten to a point where i've sought FL to fulfill my sexual urges, and im not sure if it's the appropriate thing to do.

bros, what should i do? should i tell my wife about it? or is it ok to continue what i am doing, or even finding a FWB?

If you love her, then pls do not do anything to hurt her and the marriage. Once she finds out you are fooling around, it may mean the end of your marriage. Do you want that to happen?

As a woman, I will suggest you talk to her about your needs. Perhaps she doesn’t know you need sex that regularly, etc. it is not fair to “punish” her before you talk to her. For all you know, she may hv reasons which you can empathize with?

[sexylanjiao]

Perhaps you may want to find out what turns your wife on.

[acebookie88]

I think the best way is to go for a vacation, grab some drinks and see things turn out well or not. At times, it is really fatigue that's killing the fucking part.

If this does not turn out, I think It is time to talk to her about it. Let her know what is going on and she throws her temper then I think you need to calm down. Give her afew days to think it through. Upon which, if still no improvement. I think it is either the love has died out or she is with another person afterall you guys have been together for 10 years.

Then I think you can just go and fuck around with a clear conscience.

[ibanezjem555]

Sis,
Problem (or pleasure :rolleyes:) is man needs it everyday. Woman is very the happy with a hug hug n kiss kiss..

Just a fact of life.. Man Autobot ready 24/7 with rest in-between, woman give time n attention also may not be in the mood (for many reasons).. :confused:

Not saying who bad but that is just the genetic make-up n natural differences..

Empathize- yes but legs still closed..:(

If you love her, then pls do not do anything to hurt her and the marriage. Once she finds out you are fooling around, it may mean the end of your marriage. Do you want that to happen?

As a woman, I will suggest you talk to her about your needs. Perhaps she doesn’t know you need sex that regularly, etc. it is not fair to “punish” her before you talk to her. For all you know, she may hv reasons which you can empathize with?

[SnowLeopards]

Time to find a new wife, who loves sex. :D

Pierre.

[Disillusioned99]

Sis,
Problem (or pleasure :rolleyes:) is man needs it everyday. Woman is very the happy with a hug hug n kiss kiss..

Just a fact of life.. Man Autobot ready 24/7 with rest in-between, woman give time n attention also may not be in the mood (for many reasons).. :confused:

Not saying who bad but that is just the genetic make-up n natural differences..

Empathize- yes but legs still closed..:(

Don’t assume. Ask first. Talk first.

If after talking, leg still close, then I rest my case.

[jenoroth]

specially created an account so that I can seek some advice from the bros here. although i might sound like a loser here. haha.

im in my late 20s and got married recently. i love my wife a lot and so does she. after all, she has spent almost a decade with me. everything is fine and we are in a loving relationship. However, the only thing that bothers me is that we dont make love as often as we used to.

even when we do, she'll be unenthusiastic, and will just lay there. it's ok if i have to do all the work, but it seems like she just does not want it, and i dont wish to to force myself on her. she seems to be uninterested in making love, and will always come up with different excuses (period, tired, etc.). ive gotten quite sian of asking already also.

it has gotten to a point where i've sought FL to fulfill my sexual urges, and im not sure if it's the appropriate thing to do.

bros, what should i do? should i tell my wife about it? or is it ok to continue what i am doing, or even finding a FWB?

Your biggest mistake is signing that piece of contract. Woman want what they cant have. Giving her marriage is ending the game for her. She has everything now, backed by the government. Why would she even want to tend to your needs?

I bet you guys had sex a lot more before marriage, right?

The modern day woman right now has zero wife material in them. Entitled, self obsessed, materialistic monkey branching behaviors.

Now the only way you can escape this is to give away half of all your stuff, including ur emotional and mental well being. Good luck.

I hope all brothers who see this will realise this.

[inuzuka]

hi bro, your situation is very very very common... alot of guys face this prob after marriage. sex life is nil or almost non existent. Could be due to various reasons:

1) shift of priorities to kids.

2) after childbirth hormonal changes can lead to drop in sex libido.

3) before marriage you guys dont meet every day, so the passion is still alive and absence often make the heart fonder. But after marriage everyday see each other there is little or no passion anymore.

4) there is a saying.... "women give sex to obtain love, to obtain a family of her own while men give love to obtain sex"
so after obtaining marriage and kids, she might see no point in having passionate sexual acts with you other than for procreation.

of course not all women has zero interest in sex after marriage. But majority do and those bros whose wives are still very active are considered very very lucky.

you probably can have a talk with her but chances are it will not change things, maybe for the next couple weeks she will be proactive but after a while things will be back to same old pattern.
You cannot change your situation (unless you divorce which you probably wont want to do it) so the next best thing is to change your perspective. Your best bet is fwb or fl. Fl is better, less messy, fuck and go.

good luck bro

[MoeLanYong]

TS,
Where you get your advice is important. If you going to listen to a bunch of people in a sex forum on how to cheat in your marriage, you will end up like them - permanent residents of SBF. Its like swimming. Do you ask a non swimmer or Joseph Schooling for swimming tips?

I have succeeded with my marriage so I do not recommend you cheat on your wife. Yes, you get your needs satisfied when you cheat, then what? Another FL? Another fwb? Another round. Another night. Then what? You drift away from the woman you love and married. You lead a double life. If this is what you really want, you already have your answer. You do not need to come here to look for advice.

I agree with Disillusioned99 that you need to have a talk with your wife. Gone are the days where "she just does not want it, and i dont wish to to force myself on her". You two need to communicate better. Work out your challenges. Hello, this is just the beginning. There will be lots more challenges coming your way e.g. finance, children, in-laws etc. Marriage is hard work......with your spouse, not a FL.

The quality of your life will depend on your choices you make. Choose poorly or selfishly, you will find happiness elusive. Be a prima donna and uphold your "she dun wan, I dun wan to force her" attitude, and see your life go down the drain of commercial sex.

I have often thought the problem is always with the man in the mirror. Before you list out the 10 things your wife is not doing, did you list down the 10 things you did not do for your wife?

I reckon you forgot how to court your wife. When you first knew her, you sure you had the "if she does not want sex, I will not want it either" attitude? Didn't you chase it hard to get her panties off? Why the change now?

So you say she was more enthusiastic then. Did it ever occur to you that you did more charming things to her then too? When was the last time you whispered sweet nothings into her ears NOT expecting sex in return or listen to her problems without insisting on your solutions? Do you still giggle and laugh with her or do you now just talk about serious practical things with her?

You want your honey? Go work for it. She is your wife after all. Not your sex slave. You want easy sex. Go find a FL or fwb.

She is not incorrect to say she is tired. Are you providing full time for her like a husband or does she need to work for her income? If she has to work, isn't it normal to be tired? Look, you are a man. She is the weaker vessel. Unless you provide everything for her and give her an allowance, it is only fair for her to be tired after work, isn't it? Want to have your sex, make it easy for her then.

I reckon besides talking to your wife, you folks need to come up with workable solutions. I find that a weekly sex routine works better than a random request for sex. With a random request, sometimes she is not in the mood or you are not in the mood. Someone is going to be disappointed. With a weekly sex routine, the expectation is set. Nobody will be rejected. You guys can consider going on a weekly date. See a show, go clubbing or do whatever you folks used to do, then work it out on the bed after that.

[egresnow]

TS,
Where you get your advice is important. If you going to listen to a bunch of people in a sex forum on how to cheat in your marriage, you will end up like them - permanent residents of SBF. Its like swimming. Do you ask a non swimmer or Joseph Schooling for swimming tips?

I have succeeded with my marriage so I do not recommend you cheat on your wife. Yes, you get your needs satisfied when you cheat, then what? Another FL? Another fwb? Another round. Another night. Then what? You drift away from the woman you love and married. You lead a double life. If this is what you really want, you already have your answer. You do not need to come here to look for advice.

I agree with Disillusioned99 that you need to have a talk with your wife. Gone are the days where "she just does not want it, and i dont wish to to force myself on her". You two need to communicate better. Work out your challenges. Hello, this is just the beginning. There will be lots more challenges coming your way e.g. finance, children, in-laws etc. Marriage is hard work......with your spouse, not a FL.

The quality of your life will depend on your choices you make. Choose poorly or selfishly, you will find happiness elusive. Be a prima donna and uphold your "she dun wan, I dun wan to force her" attitude, and see your life go down the drain of commercial sex.

I have often thought the problem is always with the man in the mirror. Before you list out the 10 things your wife is not doing, did you list down the 10 things you did not do for your wife?

I reckon you forgot how to court your wife. When you first knew her, you sure you had the "if she does not want sex, I will not want it either" attitude? Didn't you chase it hard to get her panties off? Why the change now?

So you say she was more enthusiastic then. Did it ever occur to you that you did more charming things to her then too? When was the last time you whispered sweet nothings into her ears NOT expecting sex in return or listen to her problems without insisting on your solutions? Do you still giggle and laugh with her or do you now just talk about serious practical things with her?

You want your honey? Go work for it. She is your wife after all. Not your sex slave. You want easy sex. Go find a FL or fwb.

She is not incorrect to say she is tired. Are you providing full time for her like a husband or does she need to work for her income? If she has to work, isn't it normal to be tired? Look, you are a man. She is the weaker vessel. Unless you provide everything for her and give her an allowance, it is only fair for her to be tired after work, isn't it? Want to have your sex, make it easy for her then.

I reckon besides talking to your wife, you folks need to come up with workable solutions. I find that a weekly sex routine works better than a random request for sex. With a random request, sometimes she is not in the mood or you are not in the mood. Someone is going to be disappointed. With a weekly sex routine, the expectation is set. Nobody will be rejected. You guys can consider going on a weekly date. See a show, go clubbing or do whatever you folks used to do, then work it out on the bed after that.

well spoken, wanted to up your points but this post isnt recent enough lol

[squiggle]

Just maintain marriage with her but eat outside and don't get caught.

[lipe]

Bro if you think of divorce, better read the Woman’s Charter:


What are the Rights of a Singaporean Woman under the Women’s Charter?
Last updated on October 19, 2017




What are the rights of a Singaporean woman under the Women’s Charter?
The wife shall have the right to use her own surname and name separately.
The husband and the wife shall have equal rights in the running of the family home.
A married woman can own her own property. Her property is not necessarily her husband’s.
A wife is not liable for her husband’s debt.
Housekeeping allowance given by the husband to the wife shall be treated as belonging to both parties in equal shares, unless there are exceptional agreements proving otherwise.
In the event that the wife loans money to her husband for his business, and the husband becomes bankrupt, the wife can reclaim the loan as a creditor, but remains last in priority after other creditors.
Gifts given by the husband to the wife may be treated as attempts to defraud creditors, and may be claimed by creditors, if the husband becomes bankrupt.
Under section 68 of the Women’s Charter, parents have a duty to maintain their children.
Under section 69 of the Women’s Charter, any married woman whose husband fails to provide her reasonable maintenance may apply for her maintenance of either a monthly allowance or a lump sum to the Court.
Divorce cannot be filed within 3 years of a marriage and can only be for the sole reason that marriage has irretrievably broken down. The Court would accept the following as grounds for divorce:
One party has committed adultery;
One party has behaved in a way that the other cannot be reasonably expected to continue living with him or her;
One party has deserted the other for at least 2 years;
The parties have separated for at least 3 years, and the defendant consents to divorce
The parties have separated for at least 4 years, and whether the defendant has consented to the divorce is irrelevant
Judicial separation can also be filed, allowing both parties to stop cohabiting, for the above mentioned reasons.
The court can order for the division of matrimonial assets upon divorce.
The court can order a man to pay maintenance to his wife upon divorce, separation or annulment of marriage.
Pimping (living on the earnings of a prostitute), as well as the trafficking of women and girls, are all offences under the Women’s Charter, in addition to other acts.

[chaoturtle]

Whatever you do, just don’t get caught!!!

[porscheclub]

Be careful of eating out too often & you may fall in love with one.

As some have suggested to fix the root. Go for holidays as women need a lot of rest and takes a different route to be turned on. You didn't mention if there's kids, children suck up a lot of her energy.

Good luck