To annul or divorce

[SeanTay]

Hi Guys,

I don't know if this is the right place to post but I need serious and objective help please.

So about 1 year and 10 months ago, I got married to my now-wife. Thinking back, I already didn't feel confident about how the marriage will go. I was very hesitant before the wedding-ROM date, I wished I had called it off but relatives from afar and friends have already been invited. My wife back then also told me that she had a lot of fear and anxiety before the wedding.

There was a point before the marriage that she ran off for an overseas trip with her friend while in the midst of wedding preparation and saying to call it off, leaving me alone to deal with the mess.

We were not doing well even before the marriage but I tell myself it is because of her wedding anxiety and that things will get better after we get married. So i bit the bullet and went ahead. However things did not get better, and continued to agitate easily and I often feel picked on.

Earlier this year in April, we already started to separate and sleep in different bedrooms. We have tried marital counselling for many sessions (10?) and have decided that our marriage isn't working and are going to end it.

My dilemma is this: we have 2 options, either to annul or to divorce.
But to annul, we will suffer about 50k loss to HDB as we will have to surrender it back to HDB, good thing is we will be singles again and also the whole thing comes to a closure earlier.
The other option is to wait another 3.5 years to meet the minimum occupancy period of 5 years and sell it to open market. If we do this, the next 3.5 years she gets to stay in the current 5-rm flat, she does not have a place to go back to because her parents were also divorced. I have no intentions of staying here anymore because I'd like to move on and start afresh. There will likely be no loss, but it is a drag of another 3.5 years and at the end a divorcee..

Other info: I have been paying for the monthly installments since we got the house. I have also been paying for all the instalments of the electrical appliances, bills etc. We still owe my parents close to 20k in debt for the reno loan. I am 32 this year.

I know in the end I will need to depend on myself to come to a decision, but appreciate perspectives/questions from more angles so that I can come to the best resolution.

Thank you brothers.

[fallen11]

Money lost can be earned back. U can easily see the money in your bank within 2-3 yrs as long as u got a career.
Time lost can never come back. Waste 3.5 yrs of both your time just because need HDB flat to hit MOP?

reno 20k, this is sunk cost. whatever your decision now, u still have to fork out this 20k reno loan. So this shouldnt even be factored into your decision making.
Sad to hear about your installments. I really dont see why would people buy appliances via installments? The installments piling up can kill u if something bad happens to u financially. These debts really limits your choice a lot.

Regarding your flat, have anyone u can tag name with and keep the flat? parent or parents? sibling?
U already got your flat and started paying, so hdb dont think there's deposit to lose. Either will be forced sale or hdb take back and pay u 90% of current valuation. This u need to check with hdb.

Well, wrong marriage is always damaging. be prepared to sacrifice something whether its divorce or annul. Sacrifice time? or sacrifice money?
The more u try to save everything, the more damaging to your life it will become.

[SeanTay]

Sad to hear about your installments. I really dont see why would people buy appliances via installments? The installments piling up can kill u if something bad happens to u financially. These debts really limits your choice a lot.

Because the installment is interest-free so it makes sense.


Regarding your flat, have anyone u can tag name with and keep the flat? parent or parents? sibling?
U already got your flat and started paying, so hdb dont think there's deposit to lose. Either will be forced sale or hdb take back and pay u 90% of current valuation. This u need to check with hdb.

Can't takeover the flat because <MOP and also <35 y/o. HDB will take back and I will incur 50k loss if annul. I have checked. but on the other hand, i waste another 3.5 years and sell to open market to minimise loss.



Well, wrong marriage is always damaging. be prepared to sacrifice something whether its divorce or annul. Sacrifice time? or sacrifice money?
The more u try to save everything, the more damaging to your life it will become.

thanks for your input bro

[I Love Boobs]

Annul.
Being single..... oh, how I long for those care-free days....

[kim-seng-heng]

Cut lost...no point hanging on a toxic relationship.

[Shadow_warrior]

most people annul

bitterness, hatred breeds when it drags on

[0541774]

To sum it up, lose $50k or 3.5yrs?

By the way, an annulment needs a valid reason. What will you come up with?

[peanodood1337]

To sum it up, lose $50k or 3.5yrs?

By the way, an annulment needs a valid reason. What will you come up with?

Its not difficult to get an annulment as long as both parties are in agreement and kept their stories straight. One common reason is to tell the court that the marriage was unconsummated.

To TS:

What does your wife want? A divorce or annulment? Her wishes matters a lot, as the local courts tend to favour the female party in judgments. So you better make sure you guys are on the same page.

Also, what's your wife's character like? Is she someone who will play you out? After all, she can hire a good lawyer to fight for the division of assets and a hefty alimony at the end of the 3.5 years wait. In which case you will lose way more than the 50k to HDB.

As a side note, while you may be having a sexless marriage at this point, it is not a good idea to have relationships with other girls until this matter is sorted out. She can seriously screw you over by accusing you of adultery. I'm not saying she is someone who would do something like that. You are the one who would know her best of all.

Anyway, I'm sorry to hear about your failing marriage. I was in a similar position about a year ago so I can empathise somewhat. Feel free to contact me if you need a bro at this juncture of your life.

Regardless, I wish you all the best. Good luck man.

[cleyeo]

just let it go.
in 3.5 years, when you manage to sell your HDB, do you think there will be no problem, obviously your spouse will fight for the $$$ of the selling of your hdb. So, another big issue is waiting to happen.

just let the matter close asap.

it is my opinion only.

[SeanTay]

Thank you bros.. so far the sentiments is to end it asap, no one has said to recoup financial losses. The only way is through annulment, but it is tricky as it will also require her agreement. She is currently sitting on the fence on this one, unless her friends encourage her in the opposite direction.
Somehow she has quite a few friends who have either annulled or going through divorce. *should have been a red flag but unfortunately i ignored logic.

I hope it is not the case that if she doesn't agree to annulment, I will have no choice but to give in to her wishes and wait for 3.5 years. If that is the case, it is quite a shit situation to be in. I will check with my lawyer on this.




Also, what's your wife's character like? Is she someone who will play you out? After all, she can hire a good lawyer to fight for the division of assets and a hefty alimony at the end of the 3.5 years wait. In which case you will lose way more than the 50k to HDB.



Cleyeo also mentioned the same concern.
3.5 years is not a short time, she might change her words when it comes nearer to the sale and want to fight for more share.
Thanks for pointing this out. Looks like I will have to bring this up with my lawyer when I meet him.

Thanks bros for contributing.

[Shadow_warrior]

flat is one part

the marriage came about because of emotions, and when it turns sour, emotions with reign

what happens when you want to date others and she does to?

can she bring them back and fuck in the house? or you?

it happened to my cousins and man it was hell on earth for the 5 years they had to hold their flat

[JacqueMerlin]

Hi Guys,

I don't know if this is the right place to post but I need serious and objective help please.

So about 1 year and 10 months ago, I got married to my now-wife. Thinking back, I already didn't feel confident about how the marriage will go. I was very hesitant before the wedding-ROM date, I wished I had called it off but relatives from afar and friends have already been invited. My wife back then also told me that she had a lot of fear and anxiety before the wedding.

There was a point before the marriage that she ran off for an overseas trip with her friend while in the midst of wedding preparation and saying to call it off, leaving me alone to deal with the mess.

We were not doing well even before the marriage but I tell myself it is because of her wedding anxiety and that things will get better after we get married. So i bit the bullet and went ahead. However things did not get better, and continued to agitate easily and I often feel picked on.

Earlier this year in April, we already started to separate and sleep in different bedrooms. We have tried marital counselling for many sessions (10?) and have decided that our marriage isn't working and are going to end it.

My dilemma is this: we have 2 options, either to annul or to divorce.
But to annul, we will suffer about 50k loss to HDB as we will have to surrender it back to HDB, good thing is we will be singles again and also the whole thing comes to a closure earlier.
The other option is to wait another 3.5 years to meet the minimum occupancy period of 5 years and sell it to open market. If we do this, the next 3.5 years she gets to stay in the current 5-rm flat, she does not have a place to go back to because her parents were also divorced. I have no intentions of staying here anymore because I'd like to move on and start afresh. There will likely be no loss, but it is a drag of another 3.5 years and at the end a divorcee..

Other info: I have been paying for the monthly installments since we got the house. I have also been paying for all the instalments of the electrical appliances, bills etc. We still owe my parents close to 20k in debt for the reno loan. I am 32 this year.

I know in the end I will need to depend on myself to come to a decision, but appreciate perspectives/questions from more angles so that I can come to the best resolution.

Thank you brothers.

Sounds like you got an irresponsible wife. My ex wife was like this too. Took me several years to divorce because ex wife wanted maintenance for 'wasting' her youth. Annul since she is ok with it. Let go of that flat and move on. Poorer but wiser.

[peanodood1337]

Thank you bros.. so far the sentiments is to end it asap, no one has said to recoup financial losses. The only way is through annulment, but it is tricky as it will also require her agreement. She is currently sitting on the fence on this one, unless her friends encourage her in the opposite direction.
Somehow she has quite a few friends who have either annulled or going through divorce. *should have been a red flag but unfortunately i ignored logic.

I hope it is not the case that if she doesn't agree to annulment, I will have no choice but to give in to her wishes and wait for 3.5 years. If that is the case, it is quite a shit situation to be in. I will check with my lawyer on this.

Try having a heart-to-heart session with her. If you look at it objectively, an annulment can be a win-win situation for both parties. After all, it is the cleanest break you can ever get. In the eyes of the law, it would be as if you guys were never married before. Both of you can move on and find your respective partners without any baggage holding you back.

Let her know that 3.5 years of wait time is no problem for you. A guy at 35 is just as eligible as a guy at 32. At the end of the day, there is no skin off your knees by waiting it out. However, your wife will lose 3.5 child-bearing years. Ask her if this is what she wants. Her biological clock is ticking, while you can just as easily start a family later.

True, you guys would be missing out on a financial windfall at the end of a 3.5 year wait. But IMO, you can't put a price-tag on the lost time. This is something you both have to come to a mutual decision on. Time or money - which is more important to the both of you?

Of course, this is assuming that your wife would be self-sufficient without you. You did mention that she would be stranded without a place to stay if you guys gave up the flat now. Based on that alone, chances are she may not feel safe to go for the annulment route.

In that case, perhaps you can make a Gentleman's agreement with her? Offer to help her find a suitable place to stay, and maybe pay her rent for a suitable amount of time. If you can address her concerns, I believe she would be more amenable to what you have to say.

Cleyeo also mentioned the same concern.
3.5 years is not a short time, she might change her words when it comes nearer to the sale and want to fight for more share.
Thanks for pointing this out. Looks like I will have to bring this up with my lawyer when I meet him.

Thanks bros for contributing.

As she has "quite a few" friends who have gone through divorces, I wouldn't be surprised if they are strategizing on how to maximize her financial gains from this breakup. So let's take a step back and look at things objectively if you're going the divorce route.

If she is paying for the flat alongside you, then yea sure its only fair that she gets 50% as it is a shared asset. In that case, I wouldn't worry if she insists on the divorce route. In the worst case scenario, you'll still find yourself with some financial gain at the end of the ordeal.

However, if she isn't in fact helping out with the flat, you'll still have to be prepared to give up 50%. If you are ok with that, then again, it still isn't a problem.

The problem comes in if you're a Rich Man's Son. As the court's ruling will always take the Women's Charter into consideration, a gold-digger can easily justify that the divorce would substantially lower her standard of living. In which case you will be forced to pay a crapload of money to her in alimony. In that case, you better get a good divorce attorney to advise you on how to protect your wealth.

...

At the end of the day, if you are not an asshole husband, (and assuming she is not an asshole wife) I doubt she would make it too hard on you. Be patient and understanding here. It could have been very difficult for her to come to this decision as well.

So once again assuming neither of you are assholes, I wish the both of you all the best.

Good luck.

[fallen11]

Even not behaving like husband and wife, can still try to be friend friend a bit. No hatred for each other.
Whether its annul or divorce, important thing is to get both parties to come to mutual agreement on how it will be, before filing it to court. This will certainly save u lots of time, money and from stress.
Annulment will cost more than uncontested divorce. Uncontested divorce dont need appear in court. Annulment need, even though its just taking the stand for 5 min. So lawyer will charge u more for court appearance (cause lawyer also need appear in court with u).
Still, these costs are nowhere near to a contested divorce.

1 reason to lure her to go for annulment: After that her legal status will be "Single", not "divorcee". That would probably be more appealing for women :D

[Triple70]

TS, u mentioned that annul option is a 50k loss, but will u be im debt? Debts can haunt u longer than a failed marriage.

If u will end up in debt, i suggest speak to her abt a seperation from now till MOP. With a deed of seperation, u can carry on with your life, and 3.5yrs later get out of this with some profit. Your next phase in life will be financially stronger.

However, if wife is the mental type, u need to annul asap at any costs.

[loster]

Hi Guys,

I don't know if this is the right place to post but I need serious and objective help please.

So about 1 year and 10 months ago, I got married to my now-wife. Thinking back, I already didn't feel confident about how the marriage will go. I was very hesitant before the wedding-ROM date, I wished I had called it off but relatives from afar and friends have already been invited. My wife back then also told me that she had a lot of fear and anxiety before the wedding.

There was a point before the marriage that she ran off for an overseas trip with her friend while in the midst of wedding preparation and saying to call it off, leaving me alone to deal with the mess.

We were not doing well even before the marriage but I tell myself it is because of her wedding anxiety and that things will get better after we get married. So i bit the bullet and went ahead. However things did not get better, and continued to agitate easily and I often feel picked on.

Earlier this year in April, we already started to separate and sleep in different bedrooms. We have tried marital counselling for many sessions (10?) and have decided that our marriage isn't working and are going to end it.

My dilemma is this: we have 2 options, either to annul or to divorce.
But to annul, we will suffer about 50k loss to HDB as we will have to surrender it back to HDB, good thing is we will be singles again and also the whole thing comes to a closure earlier.
The other option is to wait another 3.5 years to meet the minimum occupancy period of 5 years and sell it to open market. If we do this, the next 3.5 years she gets to stay in the current 5-rm flat, she does not have a place to go back to because her parents were also divorced. I have no intentions of staying here anymore because I'd like to move on and start afresh. There will likely be no loss, but it is a drag of another 3.5 years and at the end a divorcee..

Other info: I have been paying for the monthly installments since we got the house. I have also been paying for all the instalments of the electrical appliances, bills etc. We still owe my parents close to 20k in debt for the reno loan. I am 32 this year.

I know in the end I will need to depend on myself to come to a decision, but appreciate perspectives/questions from more angles so that I can come to the best resolution.

Thank you brothers.

Bro, I was in your shoes before. Marriage counseling on works if both are willing to put in effort. 3.5 years is very draining for you, trust me. My work performance was affected. Most important is you need to think for yourself what you want. Once you decided, just go ahead and do it.


Feel free to PM me if you need advice.

Cheers

[SeanTay]

Thanks all brothers for replying to my plight. Really appreciate and help me to think through..

[SeanTay]

And I would also like to know what you guys think about the stigma of being a divorced man, is it going to be very bad for me in future finding a mate?

Because I know I can potentially "buy" my wife out of making the decision to drag.. what she wants is to i) recoup financial loss from returning the current flat to HDB and also ii) have a place to stay.

The question is how much is a 'single' status worth and how much I can afford for it...

Haiz.. sucks that I have to go through this because of a naive mistake I made.

[loster]

And I would also like to know what you guys think about the stigma of being a divorced man, is it going to be very bad for me in future finding a mate?

Because I know I can potentially "buy" my wife out of making the decision to drag.. what she wants is to i) recoup financial loss from returning the current flat to HDB and also ii) have a place to stay.

The question is how much is a 'single' status worth and how much I can afford for it...

Haiz.. sucks that I have to go through this because of a naive mistake I made.

I don't think so. Just that before you decide to go into rs, be honest with your gf what happened to you. Then let nature takes it course. After this episode, I think you will know what you really looking for in a girl if you decide to get married.

Cheers

[peanodood1337]

And I would also like to know what you guys think about the stigma of being a divorced man, is it going to be very bad for me in future finding a mate?

Because I know I can potentially "buy" my wife out of making the decision to drag.. what she wants is to i) recoup financial loss from returning the current flat to HDB and also ii) have a place to stay.

The question is how much is a 'single' status worth and how much I can afford for it...

Haiz.. sucks that I have to go through this because of a naive mistake I made.

I think loster is right on that one. I've been on some casual dates over the last few months from dating apps, and I don't really think my divorcee status has been a problem.

The real problem, I feel, is finding someone new that you are willing to give your 100% for - like you did in the past with your ex. For me, its kinda hard to trust someone to that extent again. After all, someone just broke her "till death do us part" vow to me lol

I dunno man. Maybe I'm just as lost as you and shouldn't be giving advice here :o

Anyway, at the end of the day, if its healthier for the both of you to walk separate paths, then it is what you have to do. No matter if you can find another suitable partner or not.

Good luck man.

[fallen11]

And I would also like to know what you guys think about the stigma of being a divorced man, is it going to be very bad for me in future finding a mate?

Because I know I can potentially "buy" my wife out of making the decision to drag.. what she wants is to i) recoup financial loss from returning the current flat to HDB and also ii) have a place to stay.

The question is how much is a 'single' status worth and how much I can afford for it...

Haiz.. sucks that I have to go through this because of a naive mistake I made.

Divorced man is common in sg nowadays.
Unless u're planning to go for girls < 25 or local girls < 30, it shldnt affect u much. SG girls hear u divorced before even without kid all siam far far, unless u drive conti car + ownself stay own condo.
Foreign girls are more open to divorcees except for syts who have not yet planned to be married.
Divorcee with kid is 100 times worse off than without kid.
So can consider your case on the fortunate side when compared to most other divorce cases.

Single status is worth more to your wife than to u.
If u both can work out agreeable terms, better annul asap.
Most women change their mind often. What they can agree to u now, doesnt mean she will honor it 3.5 yrs later.
Maybe now she ok with clean break, want her portion of cpf tied into housing back.
3.5 yrs later after hearing countless other similar cases and based on female friends' (or maybe even her new bf's) advice, she may change her mind and fight for everything u owned.
Can even claim u were violent to her (heard many cases already), took her cash to pay your hdb thru your bank account, etc. Even though her argument in court would be weak without evidence, u eventually need spend > 10k in lawyer fees + months more of court sessions, to fight off such accusations.

Get a sense of her thoughts first.
When its advantageous, strike given the opportunity.
Cut loss and move on.
Dont leave room for more regrets down the road.

[Taffy83]

And I would also like to know what you guys think about the stigma of being a divorced man, is it going to be very bad for me in future finding a mate?

Because I know I can potentially "buy" my wife out of making the decision to drag.. what she wants is to i) recoup financial loss from returning the current flat to HDB and also ii) have a place to stay.

The question is how much is a 'single' status worth and how much I can afford for it...

Haiz.. sucks that I have to go through this because of a naive mistake I made.

Quite common, not everyone is so lucky to get it right the first time.

Don't be discourage bro, there is someone out there who might be suitable for you, important is don't rush.

I didn't get it right the 1st time as I was trying to meet my parent's request for me to get married young and rush into a marriage after knowing the gal for a year, in the end didn't work out.

All the best!

[fion.18]

Quite common, not everyone is so lucky to get it right the first time.
!

this is so true! someone told me before marriage is like learning to drive. first time sure fail. second time will usually pass with flying colours :D

anyways sigma or not doesn’t matter. when you finally find someone special, whatever the social status is, it won’t be impt. what’s impt is the heart.

and besides, because you’ve already seen the worst, you will learn to appreciate blessings more right? that is also why broken ones are the most precious ones ;)

[larue]

this is so true! someone told me before marriage is like learning to drive. first time sure fail. second time will usually pass with flying colours :D

anyways sigma or not doesn’t matter. when you finally find someone special, whatever the social status is, it won’t be impt. what’s impt is the heart.

and besides, because you’ve already seen the worst, you will learn to appreciate blessings more right? that is also why broken ones are the most precious ones ;)

Yes, everything also need licence, even easy nonsense. Yet something as difficult as marriage only requires two consenting idiots to be above 18.

Statistically though, people who have failed marriages tend to do even worse on their subsequent ones. The numbers are really not encouraging for divorced people.

Perhaps the real lesson to be learnt is indeed not to marry.

[SeanTay]

Thanks Peanodood, Taffy, Fion and Fallen.. your comments have been encouraging and supportive.

[kick_ass]

if you are talking abt cost, annul is defintely cheaper than divorce.

the longer you drag, the alimony might increase as based on what u mention, your wife didnt contribute much for the house as in she isnt working nw?

i have personally seen annul vs divorce and usually the latter, alimony will cost more but it might be coincidence as many factors do applies.

but one thing is certain, you waste alot of time waiting 3.5yrs.
do note, wthin the time frame, u cant date anyone else, as she might bite back saying you are having an affair and thats when woman's charter really hits u bad.

[chaoslord]

If you are within the timeframe and qualify for an annulment, that would most definitely be the route you should take. You need a good reason for an annulment and non-consummation of marriage is a strong one.

Stigma for being a divorced men is not really an issue, the same however cannot be said of women. They get the shorter end of the stick here. Try to find out what she wants and convince her on the merits of an annulment if need be. Make it easy for her as you need her cooperation as behind her facade lies the WC hammer.

With time you can earn money. Money cannot buy time lost. These 3.5 yrs is worth multitudes more than the $50k.

[sbfblack]

Hi Guys,

I don't know if this is the right place to post but I need serious and objective help please.

So about 1 year and 10 months ago, I got married to my now-wife. Thinking back, I already didn't feel confident about how the marriage will go. I was very hesitant before the wedding-ROM date, I wished I had called it off but relatives from afar and friends have already been invited. My wife back then also told me that she had a lot of fear and anxiety before the wedding.

There was a point before the marriage that she ran off for an overseas trip with her friend while in the midst of wedding preparation and saying to call it off, leaving me alone to deal with the mess.

We were not doing well even before the marriage but I tell myself it is because of her wedding anxiety and that things will get better after we get married. So i bit the bullet and went ahead. However things did not get better, and continued to agitate easily and I often feel picked on.

Earlier this year in April, we already started to separate and sleep in different bedrooms. We have tried marital counselling for many sessions (10?) and have decided that our marriage isn't working and are going to end it.

My dilemma is this: we have 2 options, either to annul or to divorce.
But to annul, we will suffer about 50k loss to HDB as we will have to surrender it back to HDB, good thing is we will be singles again and also the whole thing comes to a closure earlier.
The other option is to wait another 3.5 years to meet the minimum occupancy period of 5 years and sell it to open market. If we do this, the next 3.5 years she gets to stay in the current 5-rm flat, she does not have a place to go back to because her parents were also divorced. I have no intentions of staying here anymore because I'd like to move on and start afresh. There will likely be no loss, but it is a drag of another 3.5 years and at the end a divorcee..

Other info: I have been paying for the monthly installments since we got the house. I have also been paying for all the instalments of the electrical appliances, bills etc. We still owe my parents close to 20k in debt for the reno loan. I am 32 this year.

I know in the end I will need to depend on myself to come to a decision, but appreciate perspectives/questions from more angles so that I can come to the best resolution.

Thank you brothers.

You have to rethink about your life, not too late at 32.but owing 20k at 32 is kinda wtf.

I say you wait for next 3.5yr and sell the house after that.

Have a written agreement with your current wife on terms since you 2 not going to be family anymore.

Rethink about your life... 32 should not have debt even by parents..

[Summerhillt]

bro just jitao annul. annul is only valid within the first 2 years of marriage. after 2 years become divorce. if your future wife and her family go rom website use their singpass to do a check on you, your records would be stained with divorced before for life.

plus got woman charter to pawn your arse.

be a smart man do annulment. money can earn back, but a stain on your record forever cannot erase.

besides, annulement is damn easy, i had a friend who done it before.

hire a lawyer pay around less than 2k. you dont even need to attend court. the lawyer will represent you and tell the judge. most reasons are failure to consummate marriage.

in an instant, you are single again!

bro please, your case can only annulement. dont ai wan this ai wan that.

[fallen11]

bro just jitao annul. annul is only valid within the first 2 years of marriage. after 2 years become divorce. if your future wife and her family go rom website use their singpass to do a check on you, your records would be stained with divorced before for life.

plus got woman charter to pawn your arse.

be a smart man do annulment. money can earn back, but a stain on your record forever cannot erase.

besides, annulement is damn easy, i had a friend who done it before.

hire a lawyer pay around less than 2k. you dont even need to attend court. the lawyer will represent you and tell the judge. most reasons are failure to consummate marriage.

in an instant, you are single again!

bro please, your case can only annulment. dont ai wan this ai wan that.

annul need attend court even though u'll probably only go up the stand for 5 min. the one filing the annulment attend can liao.
i done it before (3 yrs ago) so dont need argue with me on this:D
lawyer fee more costly cause of court attendance. Mine charged me 4.5k for everything. But its a small price to pay really. that day i come out from court the feeling so different. Like my life just got a new lease.
No need attend court and lawyer fees 2k is mutual divorce with both parties agreeing to all the divorce terms. Lawyer just file papers can liao so much cheaper.

[damong777]

Divorced status not much diff nowadays. Too common. Ask urself how many people u know are d

Can annul better faster over time frame become a d issue more troublesome.

Even then after 3.5 yrs u going to buy over the house as a single or sell it are more issues to face.

Short term pain better long term pain. And dun forget after time frame of annul over if u caught in disadvantageous situation then prepare to pay a lot of $$$. So even more issues for u.

Best have a talk with ur wife and come to a mutual decision

[sacs]

Thank you bros.. so far the sentiments is to end it asap, no one has said to recoup financial losses. The only way is through annulment, but it is tricky as it will also require her agreement. She is currently sitting on the fence on this one, unless her friends encourage her in the opposite direction.
Somehow she has quite a few friends who have either annulled or going through divorce. *should have been a red flag but unfortunately i ignored logic.

I hope it is not the case that if she doesn't agree to annulment, I will have no choice but to give in to her wishes and wait for 3.5 years. If that is the case, it is quite a shit situation to be in. I will check with my lawyer on this.




Cleyeo also mentioned the same concern.
3.5 years is not a short time, she might change her words when it comes nearer to the sale and want to fight for more share.
Thanks for pointing this out. Looks like I will have to bring this up with my lawyer when I meet him.

Thanks bros for contributing.

Have u ask lawyer if u can annul? Annulment from my knowledge if u r married less than 1yr. And since u have hdb it might not be possible but only for divorce.

If u r worried she back out on her words, thats where d seperation deed comes in. Thats y u need to do the deed now so 5yrs up, u can carry on d divorce as per d deed.
Once deed is done u can carry on ur life, she as well. No need to be anxious. Even u have another gf outside, u dont even need to worry.

[fallen11]

Have u ask lawyer if u can annul? Annulment from my knowledge if u r married less than 1yr. And since u have hdb it might not be possible but only for divorce.

If u r worried she back out on her words, thats where d seperation deed comes in. Thats y u need to do the deed now so 5yrs up, u can carry on d divorce as per d deed.
Once deed is done u can carry on ur life, she as well. No need to be anxious. Even u have another gf outside, u dont even need to worry.

Annulment is valid within 3 years of marriage.
Its quite complicated. Usually its either special case or both parties have to agree to the annulment. Special cases like spouse left sg for at least 2 yrs and uncontactable; spouse has been married in another country before your marriage; family violence; etc.
For special cases, annulment can even be done > 3 years of marriage. Example: spouse has been married in another country before your marriage. Because the marriage took place before your marriage, by right your marriage shouldn't even be valid because the law does not allow a person to maintain 2 valid marriages. So in this case even 50 years later also can annul.
Got hdb or not is not important in annulment case. Important is both parties agree what will happen to the flat after annulment, or if anyone party can even keep the flat.