Dilemma between sex and relationship

[DiSiaoMan]

Hi fellow bros, I’m not sure if I’m posting in the correct group so do enlighten me if I am not posting correctly.

I have this very close Viet girl-friend whom I have been friends with for close to 5 years. We used to date for a while 3-4 years back but things were complicated as she still had a husband but they were in the midst of a separation. Long story short, we broke up but then had a lot of raw sex and CIP during the period when she divorced her husband as she was upset and I knew I was just a rebound for her to vent her sadness.

Fast forward, she is currently working as a masseuse in those “stricter joints” where FJ is absolutely not allowed for close to 2 years. (Bros please do not pm me to share contact as I will not share to protect her identity sorry and thanks for understanding.) She switched over from a decent job as she was facing financial issues back at home.

When she just started out as a masseuse we still had our raw sex sessions, but slowly she started to turn me down, even when I offered to pay for her time as I knew that time is money to her. She said that she didn’t like the feeling of getting paid for sex and at the same time was being cautious during this sensitive period. I have been very supportive of her by consistently patrionising her even till today but it seems like my patience is running thin. I miss those raw sex sessions with her as she really knows how to press my buttons and trust her enough to raw and CIP but the repetitive turndowns for the past year have greatly disappointed me.

Can my fellow bros give me advice if I should just abandon this tree and search for another one instead? I believe with the amount of effort and loyalty I put into this friend of mine, I would have already bedded another ML and probably persuade her to CIP as well. On the other hand, I still have hopes of us getting together in the future as I still have some feelings for her and wouldn’t want the friendship/relationship to sour just because I stop patronising her and switch to another ML. She also mentioned that after this sensitive period is over, she will agree to our raw sex sessions again, but as men we all have our urges and I do not want to wait that long just to experience the same feeling again. How do I resolve this dilemma between sex and relationship?

[Frankenstein77]

Bro

The answer is quite clear. It’s just a matter of how much you love her and want this relationship. If you are serious about her, you will wait for her and move her again.

As for the urges part, there is nothing to stop you from getting your fixes with other girls. Right?

Like you said, separate the sex and the relationship.

One thing I don’t understand is, what do you mean by sensitive period? She working as ML?

[DiSiaoMan]

Bro

The answer is quite clear. It’s just a matter of how much you love her and want this relationship. If you are serious about her, you will wait for her and move her again.

As for the urges part, there is nothing to stop you from getting your fixes with other girls. Right?

Like you said, separate the sex and the relationship.

One thing I don’t understand is, what do you mean by sensitive period? She working as ML?

Yes bro, she is working as a ML and honestly, I cannot be 1000% sure that she does not provide FJ to her other customers in private.

Because of the recent KTV and MP raids, this period is especially sensitive for her in a sense that she has to be extra careful in everything she do to avoid getting caught red-handed, which to me doesn’t make any sense in our case because even if we go to a hotel and make love and the police raids the hotel, there is nothing they can do to us.

[loneyheart]

What she mean by " sensitive period " ?

[Banvan]

Bro, just tell her you wanna treat her to a holiday like a staycation or cruise as if you got no other ulterior motive. You will get your CIP and raw sex naturally.

[DiSiaoMan]

What she mean by " sensitive period " ?

It means during this period where police are cracking down hard on KTVs and MPs because of COVID-19 then she is quite afraid of getting into trouble with the law. In her thinking, if the police raid hotels also and they find us making love inside then she afraid she might get into trouble la, which is totally untrue since she is officially divorced now and is not considered adultery. But her MP boss got tell her la, if she go out with customer and kena COVID-19 they will ask her to leave, which can justify her fear la. But honestly what are the odds of going to a hotel once and getting COVID-19? Sigh

[DiSiaoMan]

Bro, just tell her you wanna treat her to a holiday like a staycation or cruise as if you got no other ulterior motive. You will get your CIP and raw sex naturally.

I tried already bro, i jio her go cruise, go staycation at MBS to relax and chill, the answer is always a disappointing no. Don't know where i doing wrong. :(

[FatSpider]

move on
1) never trust viet
2) money not enuff

[zeusfist]

plenty of fish in the ocean bro. and there is no one stopping you to go to other joints for your fix. u can still support your lady for clean massage (if u want) and get ur urge dealt with with other girls.

[SwordArt]

From what you said, I think you just miss the sex more than being with her.
imo just move on. If she allow in the future then is bonus.

[DiSiaoMan]

move on
1) never trust viet
2) money not enuff

Agreed bro hahaha

[DiSiaoMan]

plenty of fish in the ocean bro. and there is no one stopping you to go to other joints for your fix. u can still support your lady for clean massage (if u want) and get ur urge dealt with with other girls.

Having sex with her is unlike any experience that I ever had before. Insane chemistry between us. Perhaps when I find another who can give me the same experience then I can finally put her down ;)

[DiSiaoMan]

From what you said, I think you just miss the sex more than being with her.
imo just move on. If she allow in the future then is bonus.

Yeah bro that’s most probably what I’m going to do. I can’t possibly keep supporting her but getting nothing in return. Money is not infinite sadly.

[loneyheart]

Once woman want out n change attitude they nom don't give an ans :)
Maybe she just don't want to hook on to a small fish n give out the whole ocean
Move on bro u can sail thru the ocean too :p

[Shadow_warrior]

Hi fellow bros, I’m not sure if I’m posting in the correct group so do enlighten me if I am not posting correctly.

I have this very close Viet girl-friend whom I have been friends with for close to 5 years. We used to date for a while 3-4 years back but things were complicated as she still had a husband but they were in the midst of a separation. Long story short, we broke up but then had a lot of raw sex and CIP during the period when she divorced her husband as she was upset and I knew I was just a rebound for her to vent her sadness.

Can my fellow bros give me advice if I should just abandon this tree and search for another one instead? I believe with the amount of effort and loyalty I put into this friend of mine, I would have already bedded another ML and probably persuade her to CIP as well. On the other hand, I still have hopes of us getting together in the future as I still have some feelings for her and wouldn’t want the friendship/relationship to sour just because I stop patronising her and switch to another ML. She also mentioned that after this sensitive period is over, she will agree to our raw sex sessions again, but as men we all have our urges and I do not want to wait that long just to experience the same feeling again. How do I resolve this dilemma between sex and relationship?

I am reading all kinds of funny things and wrong labelling so let a older man help you out in sorting out the mess.

What is a Close GirlFriend? Have sex, and dated...so you have feelings for her, so she is no longer just a tree to you, like a ML/WL.

You confuse yourself with friendship. Having sex= no more friends.
What do you mean friendship sour? Lol...

And its clear you want the raw sex, which she rejects. And actually it is clear you want more than that, you already KC, and you are just in denial of your feelings.

Okay, advice, no matter who tell you what, if you have feelings for her, person wise or pussy wise, you are going to do what your heart says, no matter what anyone tells you.
I can see you feel upset in some things too, feel rejected= that means you kenna KC already.

Can you let go and find another ML? If you can, why think so much? Go do it now. But if you have feelings for her, and holding yourself back in hope of being with her, then back to my above point, you cannot let go, no matter what anyone tells you, so final word, can you settle your feelings and move on? If yes, go out and fuck someone else right now. If no, doesn't matter, you will do what your heart tells you

As some of the bros said, I think her holding back on you, is because she also doing with other people.

I dated a ML/WL, eventually she fell for me, and she quit, because she couldn't be physical with me(feelings) and with customers too.

[stoicism]

In her thinking, if the police raid hotels also and they find us making love inside then she afraid she might get into trouble la, which is totally untrue since she is officially divorced now and is not considered adultery.

Since when is adultery a crime?

[xxFTOxx]

Since when is adultery a crime?

I think she concerned with her visa status? If PR or citizen shire nothing to worry abt. But if S Pass or work pass then maybe got problem. If see at hotel could be deemed as prostitution? Had one girl like tat also. She worry if mata check then bring lotsa problems to the sponsor or employer. Correct me if I’m wrong
.
Or worst scenario is she already got another guy richer and bao her. She too paiseh tell u so maybe give u cold shoulder hoping U will give up? I think maybe as u said I were a rebound. So she got bored of u already la. If I were u I give up and move on already. Not hard to find another to raw and CIP.

[Penguin23]

Since when is adultery a crime?

Some context may help - in Singapore this is indeed not a crime, in Vietnam it is

Vietnamese typically do not understand Singapore laws, they simply assume what they know back home, also applies here.

https://e.vnexpress.net/news/life/adulterers-face-jail-time-in-vietnam-3418591.html#:~:text=Article%20182%20of%20Vietnam% E2%80%99s%202015%20Penal%20Code%20stipulates,relat ionship%20that%20is%20deemed%20illegal%20by%20a%20 court.

[DiSiaoMan]

Since when is adultery a crime?

I guess it’s just an excuse to turn me down. Agreeing with what bro FTO mentioned, if you are already a PR there is really nothing to be worried about. Getting caught in bed with another man should be the least of your concerns.

[DiSiaoMan]

Anyway thanks to all bros who gave me your inputs and wisdom. After questioning myself repeatedly for so long, I acknowledge the fact that I’m indeed in self-denial and clinging onto the hope that someday I can bed her again, or even rekindle our past relationship. For all I know, she may have found another carrot head to chop and don’t need this small fish anymore. I will cut down my trips to her significantly and test her response. Will update all bros here on the outcome. 🙏🏻

[damong777]

Ignore her for a period.

Been in similiar situation before. U may be just the life buoy when she was down. Now she is ok, she may be looking for better or richer options.

Then u may see true color.

[unsung80]

You should just pass us the contact. Eat the same food everyday also sian, less having the same length and width in her pussy for so long. If i was you, i moved on for other cai, why hang around when there are plenty more out there, learn to let go is good for everyone.

[DiSiaoMan]

Ignore her for a period.

Been in similiar situation before. U may be just the life buoy when she was down. Now she is ok, she may be looking for better or richer options.

Then u may see true color.

Yes bro I’ve decided to stop patronising her for the time being and observe if she has any response. But not keeping my hopes too high, maybe to her I’m just a passing customer now. :D

[DiSiaoMan]

You should just pass us the contact. Eat the same food everyday also sian, less having the same length and width in her pussy for so long. If i was you, i moved on for other cai, why hang around when there are plenty more out there, learn to let go is good for everyone.

Hahaha bro unsung if you have any contacts that allow CIP maybe can consider exchanging. :D

[Nicktamer99]

I agree with what Bro Shadow Warrior said. The question you need to ask yourself is what you really want. Once u know GO DO IT! Pain or heartache, only the end result can determine what you’ll get and as far as I’m concerned. If you want something. Best is to attempt and do it. If it doesn’t work out too bad. If it does work out. You get a new set of questions to settle and hopefully you’re happy.

[Shadow_warrior]

Yes bro I’ve decided to stop patronising her for the time being and observe if she has any response. But not keeping my hopes too high, maybe to her I’m just a passing customer now. :D

actually the fact that you are observing for her response= you are the one hung up on her. And when she gives you response, you are a moth to the flame. If not, you wonder when she will. You can't let go, so you will go back.
As I said, the heart wants what the heart wants.

Bro, the fact is that you care about her, much more than she cares about you

So let me leave you with words, that I learnt through the years of dating, marrying and being involved with this woman species

The power of ANY relationship, lies in the hands of the one who cares less.

[Shadow_warrior]

If I were you, I would go out and bang lots of other ML/FL or whatever you can get.

Another tagline I used all these years, the way to get over someone is in the arms of another. - See BELOW for the entire tagline

Used it so many times, it works like a charm.

[Pineapplexpress]

move on
1) never trust viet
2) money not enuff

Yes, she got bored and looking for a new adventure, move on, there's many viets out there that are hungry :D:D

[Nicktamer99]

Well said! Caring lesser is d power. Most guys don’t figure that out

[georgie1994]

this two is different things, not necessary to have relationship to have sex. If i date fwb in sbook, we do not have much relationship but we can have sex

[georgie1994]

Hahaha bro unsung if you have any contacts that allow CIP maybe can consider exchanging. :D

yey we can exchange the contact too

[georgie1994]

if you love her, just be with her, become a long term partner