Friendship not Sex
 

Hey guys,

I join sammyboy like very long ago liao reading forums and some threads really make sense :)

My whole life I've never cheated in my relationship before and I think maybe my divorce was just due to my own fault.

12 years ago I met a girl and we got married a year later and then got our own kids (a girl and a boy). I work and work so hard until I own my own retail outlet and going to start another shop at city square mall.

Suddenly! My ex wife told me we're just not suitable to be together... ...at first I thought she had found another guy (guys usually think like that I think) that's why she wanted to divorce with me. She just told me that she wants to go clubbing and have fun and that with me around it's hard for her to do that and she got married too early.

Now we've already divorced and I've given her all rights to both our child. Every month I'm paying her $1000 maintainance for her and 2 kids.

She could settle down 12 years ago and go take the wedding vows together with me but regret it later so how to believe people any more?

I don't think I'll fall in love anymore so I want to join you guys and to make more friends.

During these few years with her I practically only have 1 friend and nobody else. She always makes a fuss if a guy or girl talks to me so I stop contacting them (bad ideal) years ago :(

So sick of my life when all of a sudden want to talk to somebody also that difficult. But thanks all for reading it. It really takes the pressure I'm feeling right off my chest.

Re: Friendship not Sex
 

its sad to hear such a thing take care ya, its not the end of the world yet, you still have got people around in this forum to make friends with to have fun just cheer up

Re: Friendship not Sex
 

Hope u get better. :)

Re: Friendship not Sex
 

Things can only get better. Take care.

Re: Friendship not Sex
 

I think it's because we were young and had never really played around like clubbing, drinking and stuff like that that's why I don't really blame her for making such a decision.

The only thing that's bothering me is why am I not sad and still can go sammyboy talk cock... ...

weird huh

Re: Friendship not Sex
 

bro hope you can made some new friends and have a new life:)

Re: Friendship not Sex
 

TS look ahead !!! all the best!

Re: Friendship not Sex
 

Brother, there is still a long road for you in front. Enjoy life to the fullest. You must let go the past if you want to do that. Be happy everyday!:p

Re: Friendship not Sex
 

I am still single and have no GF, bro this is not end of the world, life still need to go on man. I am sure this forum can make friend aleast if make you feel better. :)

Re: Friendship not Sex
 

TS u have already delivered 2 kids which is good. Now u can anyhow use your sperm without worrying being wasted.........so many sections to make friends in SBF, e.g KTV, swinging, ....etc. :D

Re: Friendship not Sex
 

Bro, look forward, it is not the end of the world. I married early too n too with 2 kiddos. I am not experiencing what you went thru though.

Seems like you are taking it well and make more friends, I believe apart from getting a better life ahead, you might make friends here in the forum. The old timers here can give good advice when called upon.

All the best!

Re: Friendship not Sex
 

who knows better than u r?:D

Re: Friendship not Sex
 

time to spend $$$ liao .... :D

Re: Friendship not Sex
 

Ya I feel more lost then sad you see.

During these 12 years my life was like work & work. Go home play with kids. I go pug once a few years I realise. I meet my friends when fate brings us together on the streets. My ex use metal chain lock me sia.

I just felt wasted and finally awoke. It's dumb getting married at 19. It's stupid to believe a girl 17 telling me she love me and want to get married with me. I'm so gullible at the fact I believed her.

Divorce wasn't the worst thing. It's after divorce you don't have a friend to talk to. But after looking at all the encouragements I don't think I'll be lonely in here.

Just to ask any sites other then this adult friend finder I can get to know more girls?

Ken

Re: Friendship not Sex
 

Besides quantity of people to talk to, quality is also important. It's harder to find people who are sensible and talk sense in some places. Why not join an activity you like and make friends? Do you have things you always wish to do but could never find time or permission to do it while you are married?

Are the kids still living with you? Sounds like she has the custody of the kids and $1000 monthly. You aren't having sex with her anymore right? Why must a divorce happen before she can go clubbing and try to regain her lost youth?

You should have suggested that both of you stay married but allow each other to lead separate lives. She can have all the fun she want, bed all the men she want and you won't be bothered. If she eventually find a new man, you can backdate the divorce to help her marry her new man faster. In both scenarios, you aren't getting sex from her anyway but in the 2nd scenario, your kids will continue to live with you and you do not need to pay $1000 monthly for maintenance. Your kids will grow up in a more normal family than now.

Losing a marriage hurts but not being able to be there with your kids while they are growing up will hurt even more. Stay strong bro.

Re: Friendship not Sex
 

Bro I see your case where your ex wife controls who you talk to and stuff.

I see my friends once they got a girlfriend they start to lose communication with their friends. And mind you only girlfriend not even wife. But when things go downhill who they go to? Friends, buddies, bros.

Sorry to say this but your case serves as a reminder to all of us here. Never to lose friendship because surprisingly friendship tend to last longer than relationships.

You have a new life and as I see it a successful career. Seek out your old friends I'm sure have a few old ones before getting married and they will still welcome you. Make new ones also.

Friends will be friends.

Re: Friendship not Sex
 

TS.. I also same situation as u.. I known my wife for 6 years before I marry her 3 years ago n divoce 1 year later.. After divorce I m been make to pay 3k maintenance for her n my child .. That time I think I tio gong Tao Liao go n agreed to that 3k maintenance plus ownership of the house..now sibei regret trying to fight that case again..

During that period of time together with her, I basically go home after work no clubbing no happening... No friends cos I can't go cheong without her.. Cant even bio char bo when we go out.. After divoce life change for me..l was intro to sbf by my cousin, I was so amaze that I can make friends here.. Tcss n share share information, read stories wrote by the samsters here, look see look see pictures post by our brothers here.. All the happening kang Taos which I missed out for the past 9 years when with her..

Brother remember that once u r in this forum u r not alone.. Now basically I cheong whenever my friends Jio.. Only Sunday I will stop cos is the day when I see my baby...

TS , life is short play hard, enjoy ...

Gotta to warn unmarried bros that married can be prison...
Gotta pay monthly penalty for freedom..
*sighs* never imagine this kind of *no-life*

Re: Friendship not Sex
 

3 words for TS. Choice, Priority and Balance.

Get them right and you will find a better tomorrow. :)

Re: Friendship not Sex
 

take care bro TS
just remember Raw is War

chiong with your armour

Re: Friendship not Sex
 

Surely you must be bothered by it to even share about it in the first place. To day that you are not sad over it I'd just comforting yourself

Re: Friendship not Sex
 

Aiya.. think u too busy to keep your wife company so that she dun feel loved..

Nowadays who can believe in anyone?

Most of my ex bf cheated also..

Realised that man just can't reject any girls along the way, can't b satisfied with one gal at all.

Dun waste your youth, should find more gf now bah.

Re: Friendship not Sex
 

You are right to realise that men have the tendency to seek out more than one sex partner.

The interesting question is whether women have this tendency too. Most people may not think so, but they may be wrong.There is evidence to show that in the right circumstances, women are as likely as men to want more than one sex partner.

Re: Friendship not Sex
 

If the women is sexually deprived. Maybe..

Re: Friendship not Sex
 

36F-23-36
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Join Date: Mar 2010
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Re: Friendship not Sex
Aiya.. think u too busy to keep your wife company so that she dun feel loved..

Nowadays who can believe in anyone?

Most of my ex bf cheated also..

Realised that man just can't reject any girls along the way, can't b satisfied with one gal at all.

Dun waste your youth, should find more gf now bah.
__________________
Universe rule: All men cheat!


Yeah I think my post is getting through to many guys.

A - Treasure you friends don't let your wife/GF take over, it's not their right!

B - I felt angry more then sad wasting so much of my time and effort when I could have bang so many more women. Speaking of witch my score is damn pathetic sia

C - If you're whole life is about your wife you lose communication skills. Hard for me to make friends or even talk to people now....

Re: Friendship not Sex
 

After our 2nd baby we stop having sex already lol! I think like 6 - 7 years I stop touching her.

I did suggest fun stuff but didn't end well.

I wonder if it's still working....

Re: Friendship not Sex
 

It's sad to hear this after 12 years of marriage. Not easy to be together for 12 years. Be positive and u two may get together later.

Anyway, enjoy ur new life live to the max. Do have bro who had similar condition like u, work days and nights for family and found out this was not the girl looking for. Life just about balance, maybe i should say.:cool:

Re: Friendship not Sex
 

i'm still single and by reading this thread, i'm really worried whether my future wife will be like this (if i ever get married)

Bros that having such problem, you guys managed to solve the problem by making her have interest again or you guys just decided to cheong outside?

Btw, my sincere sorry to hear those....hope you guys able to solve the issue soon...:(

Re: Friendship not Sex
 

thanks for sharing your experience with us

definitely you will feel angry,or hurt,or maybe sad
this is normal, but don't let these unhappy feelings stick to you

I'm a divorcee also, but I was the one who initiated the break

Problem with most Singaporean guys is we're so easily been controlled by women that even Goh Chok Tong said Singaporean men kia si (scare died), kia bo (scare wife),kia cheng hu (scared government)

tell you what, one particular thing I hate most, is a woman, who likes to check on you with frequent phone calls (when you're not with her), pretending to chit chat with you, but actually try to know what you're doing,if she is not calling you,she will get the kids to call you

many guys make the mistake of cutting off contacts with guy friends, out of the so-called 'respect' for the wife/gf

we should not do that, this world is not just you and your woman

as guys, we really must keep in touch with others, so maybe one fine day, the guy friends may have good lobangs for you (good money-making ideas)

if you break contact, you will miss out the lobangs

glue to each other day-and-night like chewing gum is not going to make you better, if you stay the same, women may eventually look down on you and say you're a loser

sometimes also must not be too nice or obedient to women, they won't appreciate this,they will say you have no ideas of your own, you're indecisive

sometimes must be 'bad' , disobey them, stand your ground and they will say you look manly

that's why you hear this saying - if men is not 'bad', women will not marry you

most Singaporean men can't hold the ground, give way to the women easily and end up being jeered by them

just the harsh fact I learn from life with women

Re: Friendship not Sex
 

Aiya sister.. Man(Me) no cheat leh... Only time I cheat is during exam time... :)