Tired of cheonging
 

Had been reading a little on the net on r/s and stuff as was doing some research on matters and watching trash TV serials

Recently chatted with someone on her marriage and was quite touched at how she tried so hard to make the r/s with hubby grow stronger and better...had a long chat with LW ytd too and all these got me thinking ... AS USUAL

Been on the scene for a good 5-6 years liao and am feeling a bit tired loh, used to go KTV when I started before I got sick of the KC-ing and move on to HC etc...Now, after so many girls... starting to ask myself if I should still continue

Sure... in the past, wanted to F which ever pretty babe I saw and was quite literally butterflying between FLs with no KC and commitment... F and F off

Since meeting XP and my ex ZH GF... now, I get too concerned over some of them and this is why I tot of stopping.

It is getting more and more difficult for me to draw the line clearly as we get closer and closer together...And I am tired since I see no future of any of us being a item

As alluded b4, I admire some of the bros here for being able to keep things clear.. so I wonder if it could be b'coz some of them are married hence, both parties know from the beginning that it is not possible

Anyway, I juz got back with my GF of 7 years...(yes, the one whom I broke up with 'coz of my ZH GF)...she had been faithfully waiting for me since so we kinda rekindle recently.

These few weeks, I have been extremely cautious in making sure the few whom I visit regularly do not get too close for comfort..the most recent encounter however got me a little concerned..

也許……也許這就是命中注定，命中注定百分之一百要發生的事。大概……也許，也許是命中注定，我要對妳有感 覺

haiz.... waiting for a few more weeks b4 I clarify my thoughts..

Seeing bros, like Tailok, lightning quieting down and even hardly see Binbin and sianren online makes me feel like perhaps I should quiet down too

Bros, anyone feel tired of cheonging

Re: Tired of cheonging
 

Bro, i once had that tot too......
Changed my lifestyle from cheongster to down to earth man......
Nearly died.......
At least now, i know, since i'm already back to the scene for a while, i always remind myself what my sifu always reminds me.......
It's all entertainment it will pass and dun take it to heart & you'll be fine.

If you look at it from how my sifu advised me bro, you'll see, bcos you dun treat them as entertainment but more than that, look how it affected you.
Just sharing my tots bro.

Re: Tired of cheonging
 

I can't speak for everyone, but I feel that there comes a time when one will take a step back, review what had happened for the last few years, what you are feeling today, and what you are going to do for the next few years.

In your mind, you are at a crossroad. During the time when you are chionging, you just wanted to fulfill your immediate and short term objectives. For some people, that is just their only objectives (immediate/short term equates to their long term as well), and continue until the kingdom comes. No fuss, no muss.

However, in your case, you had already achieved your immediate and short term goals, and is going to evaluate your long term objectives. You want something more. Something that you can hang on, some emotional attachments. Your past has caught up with you, and you feel very tired about it. It is really eating you up.

Being clear minded and being married are 2 different things altogether, which is why we are still seeing people divorcing and re-marrying again. You still can have a clear mind even when you are single.

If you fade away just because you are tired, then perhaps you are trying to run away from all these. But if you wanna quit the chionging, do it with a clear mind, do it for yourself.

My humble opinion.

Re: Tired of cheonging
 

guess its kind of emotion swing period u going through..anyway for guys to stop completely is really harmful to oneself..likewise u cant immed quit alcohol but a step at a time..minimize the intake n slowly withdraw than maybe one day u will succeed..but maybe one day u will start again..it's all down to yourself n your mentality..anyway since u have already spend 7years of your life together with someone n now that person is still waiting n harbouring thoughts for u,than y not try to make it happen back again..sure u have gd n bad times during that period of time than can enable u to think better..perhaps go for a short holiday n clear up your thoughts..cheers

Re: Tired of cheonging
 

Actually for cheonging, its only a activity that happens whenever there are "Bros Gathering" or whenever you are bored.

Unless you can find something that have more meaningful to do, doubt you can really find time to cheong.

For me, time have alway been more than enough when i am single but whenever i starts relationship, time have mostly been spend on work>bros/gfs/rest and no more time to cheong.

Bro Aczeta, just sit back n relax, if you have something else to do, don't cheong, but if you are bored, maybe can just ask your bros to go out once in a while.

Re: Tired of cheonging
 

Hi Bro aczeta76
u know my recent history well . ..
i am in the deepest turmoil in my life . . .my personal . . professional ... and business life . . . i am trying to cure myself to take appropriate action to correct things, so i read this for perspective everyday now...

DO NOT TAKE LIFE SERIOUSLY :p
YOU WILL NEVER GET OUT OF IT ALIVE -elbert hubbard

Re: Tired of cheonging
 

Thanks bros... I am not quitting totally lah... juz restricting to 2 special babes...

Thoughts are still muddled so let me mull over your words

Re: Tired of cheonging
 

bro aczeta, from your words I just got this feeling that letting go is really a hard thing to do. I dun mean letting go of the girls, or cheonging, or boozing or the feeling you get knowing these girls anonymously. I mean letting go the reason which causes you to seek such a (night)life.

I've been having this thought lately. In our lives, we struggle a lot with identities. What we are and what we want to be. We struggle a lot with the difference between these two. I guess to be satisfied, who we are is the person who we want to be. I say this becos I think you just want to be somebody else other than who you are now.

bro petetsang, that liner is quite negative. Take care in your recover, let me know if I can help.

cheers bros ;)

Re: Tired of cheonging
 

Bro, if u really thinking of settling down with that gal, my advice is to really cut away this life and retired. Or else u will end up hurting more and more ppl, starting with her and yrself. And than yr kids if u hv any with her.

Re: Tired of cheonging
 

Hello bro,

I have similar feeling as of yours, may be recently met up with a few and getting the numb sensation. Then another reason may be the recent acquisitions are not as exceptional compared to the previous ones. As most of them are pretty professional in service, everything is SOP and nothing to differentiate one from the other.

Therefore I will be keeping some of the ammo for my travelling to see anything exciting. I believe later part of the Feb some of the mei mei will be back to our shore, and new stocks may come in, hopefully the numb feeling will be away as well.

Re: Tired of cheonging
 

Are we really suffering from emotional deficiency syndrome? :o

Re: Tired of cheonging
 

Which 2 gals u tio stuck with? Keep them properly hor coz alot of colourwolves around... hehe :D

Re: Tired of cheonging
 

I think we suffered from Fxxking fatique...:p

Re: Tired of cheonging
 

Hi bro,

its has never been easy to draw the line when we start KC with gals. We are human with feelings. Even though from the start, we go with clear mind but sometimes as time goes, feelings become stronger, especially if she is a gal who do things that touched your heart like u will say to yrself "no gals have ever treated me like this before".

I have been cheonging for the past 5yrs+. Over the past 6mths (my tao hua very strong until my fds also scare for me), i am involved with 8 gals, all from china. I go in with a clear mind and never involve too deeply with any one of them. We enjoy each other company, emotionally and physically (they never ask me for $$ after sex).They are on short term here so when they left, i break off all contact with them and wish them well.

But things changed for the 8th gal: LL. I met her when i still involve with 7th gal (who is much more prettier). Like all other gals, she came from poor & broken family. at the age of 21, she has a daughter with medical prob. So she came spore to earn $ for her child operation. The things she do for me touches me: she don't go work to accompany me; she is willing to pay for our meal (she is a very stingy gal); she crys when i want to break up with her (when i know she do go H81 with others); she ask me to pick her up every nite after work (to assure me that she never go H81 with others); she reject all other guys invites to go out and wait for me at hme (she show me her hp); she crys when she is leaving back to china (she say nobody in china will dote on her like i do); she give me a buddha pendant when she left to bless me (and ask me to wait for her to return plus not to go ktv during tis period).

The day when she left, i suddenly feel loss when returning from airport. we have been so close for the past 3 wks (meet almost every day). I never have such feeling with any of the gals i have been. However, things changed when she reached china. The 2nd day, she call me to tell me she gg to another province to see her relatives and wont be able to ans my phone. I tell her not to worry and will contact her by email. Guess what: Her hubby reply my email not to contact her anymore!!!

Things have never been the same for me. This just happen last wk. For this wk, i have gone 2 rounds ktv with my buddies. The mood is not there anymore. I have the same feeling as u. Tired of cheonging.

After gathering advice from the forum here and buddies, i am trying very hard to forget the whole incident and move on. It will be hard for us to quit this totally cos we are too used enjoying to this life. We have to return back to our normal life and not to be too involved again with another ktv gal. Chances of working out with these gals is very low. Hope you can find your happiness with normal gals. Try spending your time & efforts on gf of 7yrs. Maybe u are too engrossed in ktv life that u miss out the special one that is beside you all along. Don't take her for granted. It is hard to find someone who is willing to stick with you for 7 yrs.

Re: Tired of cheonging
 

Dun change your lifestyle because of someone, change it because you wanted to. Anyway, We really dun know but if you feel she is the one, then better to retire completely. A hundred chio WL cannot compare to a love session with the one you long for. At least after the sex, you dun walk home alone.