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-   -   what's in her mind? (https://sbfonline.site/showthread.php?t=231778)

makemecum 27-02-2011 10:47 AM

what's in her mind?
 
i met dis gal in china
we get along well minus one two occasion quarrel ...but den again who dun quarrel ...
the question she still keep contact with me
i sense that she still like me but keep on saying her family object to me being too far
she also say that her family tell her if married to sin city too far n if quarrel nowhere to run...some valid point

my puzzle is that she like me but not enough for her to make the decision to marry over
i just wondering if there is any potential / future in such a relationship?

Juicer 27-02-2011 11:03 AM

Re: what's in her mind?
 
IMHO , don't waste your time and youth ( her time and youth as well ). From your post , you are not head over heeds over her cos you still ask whether got potential or not . There are other fishes in the sea . PEACE

makemecum 27-02-2011 11:09 AM

Re: what's in her mind?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Juicer (Post 5716813)
IMHO , don't waste your time and youth ( her time and youth as well ). From your post , you are not head over heeds over her cos you still ask whether got potential or not . There are other fishes in the sea . PEACE

Hi Bro,
its not my hessitation, my asking of potential is that will she ever change her mind and marry over;
if i am not keen, i wont even bother post here...

agree there are may fishes and trees in the ocean n folest,
but den again we cannot kip on searching for the "special" one?
she is not exactly a beauty but being with her there is a sense of happiness and contentment...:)

JacDao 27-02-2011 11:22 AM

Re: what's in her mind?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by makemecum (Post 5716822)
Hi Bro,
its not my hessitation, my asking of potential is that will she ever change her mind and marry over;
if i am not keen, i wont even bother post here...

agree there are may fishes and trees in the ocean n folest,
but den again we cannot kip on searching for the "special" one?
she is not exactly a beauty but being with her there is a sense of happiness and contentment...:)

BRO , then you should try to change her mind . BEST way is to visit her in china and see her parents . Let them know you better , win them over with your sincerity . BTW if you want to get married with her , do it in CHINA not in singapore so you will not be binded by the marriage laws in singapore .

makemecum 27-02-2011 11:28 AM

Re: what's in her mind?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by JacDao (Post 5716849)
BRO , then you should try to change her mind . BEST way is to visit her in china and see her parents . Let them know you better , win them over with your sincerity . BTW if you want to get married with her , do it in CHINA not in singapore so you will not be binded by the marriage laws in singapore .

Bro
thanks for the suggest:)
but how about the china culture of meeting parents?
gifts, etc?

Ichigo_Kurosaki 27-02-2011 11:45 AM

Re: what's in her mind?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by makemecum (Post 5716771)
i met dis gal in china
we get along well minus one two occasion quarrel ...but den again who dun quarrel ...
the question she still keep contact with me
i sense that she still like me but keep on saying her family object to me being too far
she also say that her family tell her if married to sin city too far n if quarrel nowhere to run...some valid point

my puzzle is that she like me but not enough for her to make the decision to marry over
i just wondering if there is any potential / future in such a relationship?

Foreword: This post is only for Non-FL/WL PRC girls

My advice to you is that if you are planning to proceed further in your relationship with her, it is advisable to invite her to SG for a short stay (tour), let her has a feel of SG life. This would greatly help her in her decision. Do not jump into a marriage without local visitation on both sides! Don't rush things, take your time and it will take few visits to figure things out!! Also you might want to bring 1-2 of your close bros along cos they might be able to help you to see things from a 3rd party POV. Future hasn't been written yet. Your future is whatever you make it. So make it a good one, both of you. Good luck! IK

吸干我精子 27-02-2011 11:52 AM

Re: what's in her mind?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Ichigo_Kurosaki (Post 5716896)
Foreword: This post is only for Non-FL/WL PRC girls

My advice to you is that if you are planning to proceed further in your relationship with her, it is advisable to invite her to SG for a short stay (tour), let her has a feel of SG life. This would greatly help her in her decision. Do not jump into a marriage without local visitation on both sides! Don't rush things, take your time and it will take few visits to figure things out!!
Good luck! IK

agree fully ! marriage is easy to get into but messy to get out of .

ESebastian 27-02-2011 12:12 PM

Re: what's in her mind?
 
Totally agreed. If there is any commitment from you, I do not think visiting the parents should be the top priority, instead spend time understanding each other. As it is a reality that both are of different culture and family upbringing hence there will be differences in ideas and habits. One step at a time, no point rushing in marrying and at the end of the day, divorce. Good luck bro.:)

makemecum 27-02-2011 01:04 PM

Re: what's in her mind?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Cuntster (Post 5716884)
Do not give fruits or food on meeting parents . they take it as u visiting patients in hospital . FEW GOOD bottles of liquor ( DOM or bai jiu ) can already , do take the family out for lunch or dinner . flowers for the ladies in the family is okie too . Be prepared to spend ....
GOOD LUCK !


Quote:

Originally Posted by Ichigo_Kurosaki (Post 5716896)
Foreword: This post is only for Non-FL/WL PRC girls

My advice to you is ...a marriage without local visitation on both sides! Don't rush things, take your time and it will take few visits to figure things out!! Also you ...Future hasn't been written yet. Your future is whatever you make it. So make it a good one, both of you. Good luck! IK


Quote:

Originally Posted by ESebastian (Post 5716958)
Totally agreed. If .. One step at a time, no point rushing in marrying and at the end of the day, divorce. Good luck bro.:)

Hey Bros, thanks for the advice & wishes.....apppreciate:)

Buzzoff 27-02-2011 04:32 PM

Re: what's in her mind?
 
Makemecum, I noticed you have not mentioned how long you have known her for? If you have only known her for a short time, then dun rush. Still early. Take time to develop. Her concerns are natural. Get to know each other first and see if you are THE one for each other. No point thinking about other things if you yourself is not even sure if she is the one you wanna spend your life with.

Waha 27-02-2011 05:52 PM

Re: what's in her mind?
 
Hi TS,

Just to share my experience with you. I too dating my current PRC gf for 3years... There are alot of communication requires becaouse the culture back in China and Singapore there is a slight differences. In China, they emphazie alot on "Face". Very thing they do ( for my gf, her family is owns their own business) they talk about “大气, 气派, 排场".

Same like you, my gf parents object our r/s because I am too far away and they offer me to marry into their family (露酒:eek: - sorry if i type wrong)which I strong disagree let say about my parents. they mindset is that my gf is their only children they hope her to stay by their side forever and someone who can take over their business. This problem took me almost a year and because of this we almost ended our r/s. Luckily we are still together. Need alot of communications between you and her parents. For my case, my gf is a most important link between me and her parents...


For the past 2 years, is me alway visit my gf and alway before flying off to her place, her parents will alway ask my gf to bring alot of stuffs there... Say Singapore quality better... Burn huge hole for every visit:( end up alway quarrel before the flight. Recently CNY, I requested her to come over instead of me going over. During the 10 days stay in Singapore, she can at least better understand life in Singapore is truly different from life in China.


Not to say girlfriend from PRC, as long as its a long distant relationship, alway will requires alot of communications and understanding and most importantly compromising. I not sure for other Bros have long distant r/s, but at least for my case.~~~:)

In order to understand her, must really understand their culture and her family upbring. Mutual understanding...:)

ESebastian 27-02-2011 07:16 PM

Re: what's in her mind?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Waha (Post 5717853)
Hi TS,

Not to say girlfriend from PRC, as long as its a long distant relationship, alway will requires alot of communications and understanding and most importantly compromising. I not sure for other Bros have long distant r/s, but at least for my case.~~~:)

In order to understand her, must really understand their culture and her family upbring. Mutual understanding...:)

I understand you, my friend. How many callback cards have you invested?:D

Ichigo_Kurosaki 27-02-2011 07:36 PM

Re: what's in her mind?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by makemecum (Post 5717105)
Hey Bros, thanks for the advice & wishes.....apppreciate:)

Come back to your thread anytime if you needed help from bros here.
Good luck and all the best ! IK ;):)

Waha 27-02-2011 08:33 PM

Re: what's in her mind?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ESebastian (Post 5718080)
I understand you, my friend. How many callback cards have you invested?:D

haha ...
one month at 6 call back card. one cost $9.50
one year 72 cards...
three years 72 x 3...=:eek:??? haha.....

Forgotten about one more thing.... Long distant r/s involve alot of $$$ too...
Huge investment....:p

ESebastian 27-02-2011 10:36 PM

Re: what's in her mind?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Waha (Post 5718222)
haha ...
one month at 6 call back card. one cost $9.50
one year 72 cards...
three years 72 x 3...=:eek:??? haha.....

Forgotten about one more thing.... Long distant r/s involve alot of $$$ too...
Huge investment....:p

Bro, should source alternatives for call-back card. Yes, long distant involves lots of $$$ and time. For the first 2 years, I flew over regularly, for every 2 months, I flew over and stayed for 2weeks. Lucky for me, on the 5th trip, I didn't spend any $ on accommodation as her apartment was ready for move-in.

Just to share with TS and all;
Long-dist relationships requires alot of communication, understanding and mutual trust. Me wifey and I had alot of quarrels & misunderstandings as I do not have a general idea of the culture over there. She is with ICBC as a branch manager and when she is working, she doesn't have the time to answer my calls, which in turn led to me thinking too much. Until I had verified this myself by surprise trips to her work place and observing her. there is alot of emotions involved when it is long-dist and especially with PRCs as what the media and real-life stories here are of PRCs wanting only money. If anyone wants to jump into the ship be prepared for a journey of emotion turbulence.
It takes both parties to work out any differences. I would dare say that if in the event that she do not justify her actions or reciprocal my actions, I would retreat and give it up.

TS, be ready for alot of effort, money and time if you want to jump into the ship.


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