advice needed
 

hi bros...sorry and thank you for taking time to read this,I know more or less there will be scoldings or zappings for this...bascially it still boils down to divorce and money issue but cannot afford to let go what I have and what I need to fight for.

as per previous mentioned,I am currently facing with a divorce issue with a screwed up wife,needed a huge amount of money as by her to buy over the flat and get the rights for my daughter.Currently I am
working full time earning just enough to get by and repay my debts outside incurred during this period of marriage...hence there is no savings I have as I spent all trying to provide for them before all problems started,from wedding dinner,to house,to renovations and to my daughter.

earlier I came across some articles that if I am to go for a "kidney donation"...I should have enough to secure this divorce,clear the debts and provide a better future for my daughter.
so I started calling up local clinics I can find on Google and found some of them whom provides the procedures but I have to find my own patients.which I am not able to locate singaporeans in need via Google.Even the black market quoted the cost of more then 300k for each transplant but the amount I am asking for is less then that.

had the stupid idea of camping outside a local dialysis centre and approach anyone coming out.but I guess this has to be below the line.any kind advise will be appreciated

Re: advice needed
 

money can be made, not kidney.

dont do foolish things if the amount is not huge, and all problems can be solved.

Re: advice needed
 

Seriously selling your kidney is the last thing you want to do since it comes with health complications in the future....Negotiate on the divorce amount with your wife or court is more realistic....:D:D:D

Re: advice needed
 

Bro, your headache start with yourself. It is you who wanted to buy over your wife share. it is you who want custody. You have come to a stage in your life which i can say is probably the lowest point you evert have. So it time to let things go and learn to make do with what you can and cannot. Further more you are in debt. What the point of having custody of your daughter when YOU have to work and no time to spend on her, YOU have debt to clear so it is not that you can give her a better life than your wife - maybe she meet a rich man and remarry, and it is YOU want the buy her share, did she agree to sell you and on a agreed sum? YOU have assumed that by having the money to buy her share, you will have custody of your daughter. YOU again think your daughter want to be with you.

Also, YOU think the X sum of money is sufficient to buy her share. What if she last minute up her price, ask for more maintenance, do you have another kidney to sell?

It seen to me there is a lot of one sided thinking on your situation. My advice to you is:

1. sell the house and buy a much smaller unit since it only you and maybe your daughter. the profit can help you to repay or offset your debt.
2. Cross the bridge and worry what on the side. sort out your divorce and worry abt the custody later.
3. ask your daughter who she like to be with? her opnion count. even she may not be old enuf to make sound decision but at least she once has it
4. Be sincere and provide the facts on what you have, what you own, and what you can do. Have a plan on how you intend to take care of your daughter since you want her custody and present to the judge. End of the day, it not you or your wife decide, it is not who has the more money count, it is not who has the louder voice that matter. The decision by the Judge is Final. Remember. So don jump the gun and ended up with more regrets. Two mistakes doesnt make one right

Re: advice needed
 

thanks to all bros for the kind advice given...
well...it's true that I am already towards to end of the road with the
divorce....we have came to agree on the amount during the point when
we signed our separation letters...
but of course some might says that it's me that's holding on...and I might not be able to afford time for my daughter when I am trying to clear the debts and mess she created...now even her own family has kinda given up on her and worries abt my daughter...but at least I know that my daughter will not be abused in one way or another if I have her custody.

it's kinda like a no choice thing that I have to do this in the dark...hope ppl understands

Re: advice needed
 

All advise given, my thought is this do think hard. u won the custody to your daughter. U need that health to take care of her if u sell kidney year down. Not cursinf But touch wood something happen to the one left. Wont it be worse? It important now to stay strong and to stay healthy for your daughter. Or u rather risk it for a unknown future?

Take care....

Re: advice needed
 

If your daughter is below 21... Don't bother to fight for custody..99% u won't get it. Unless your wife is not in the right mental state to take care of your kid.

Even if your wife commit adultery, u may not get the custody. If u can proof she is a drug addict then u have a chance.

U sell kidney, u get $.. Fight in court, spend more $ on lawyer fees n court fees...Ended up u lose n will pay more mthly maintenance lor if u have the money in your bank account after selling your kidney.

Flat? Let her take it.. If not sell in open mkt n spilt 50/50 lah..

Re: advice needed
 

You would rather drive taxi part time to earn extra than sell your kidney! Coming from the medical filed myself, recommendation: is NO!

Re: advice needed
 

first of all organ trade is illegal in Sinkieland...dun even bother to talk about it here...AGC will prosecute...:)

http://statutes.agc.gov.sg/aol/searc...Ainforce;rec=0

story time -
I hv a friend who was on dialysis...a few years ago...he went PRC to get a kidney transplanted...paid S$50k...now he told me cannot afford anymore...the ops will cost S$150k...he is living well now and living day by day...he knew one day he will go back to dialysis...just dun know when...:)

so I am not sure why you willing to cut at least 20 years of your life to do that...also is illegal to trade organs...:)

Re: advice needed
 

thanks to all bros around for the sound advise,frankly speaking,I have already considered all possibilities before I made this hard decision even I knew it's not legal,to some it may sounds stupid,but I needed the money urgently and I am already holding on 2 jobs now...it's a chance to get into a once and for all issues resolution.

Re: advice needed
 

This doesn't make sense, can I ask you a few questions:

1. What do you see in your life after this ? (I guess nothing).

2. Do you love your daughter ? (I guess not no doubt you say YES).

3. Are you doing all these for your daughter ? (I guess NO, no doubt you insisted YES).

4. What do you want to achieve ? (Nothing, no doubt you say you want to get back what you have invested and your daughter).

Let me explain:
1. You want to sell you kidney in exchange for money to fight the court case and try to get your daughter back and give some money to your so call wife to settle the case. Don't forget you are not getting the money for your daughter and your so call wife, you are getting the money and hand it straight to the lawyer's hand and the Judge's hand. You think they will save your daughter and win your case. The answer is very obvious.

2. You say you want your daughter back and afraid that your so call wife will not treat her well. Do you think you will treat her well, I doubt so, you cannot even take care of yourself lets not talk about after the kidney operation, what happen if anything happen to you at the later stage, what your daughter going to do, who is going to look after her, ME, or the rest of the Bros here. We have our own family to feed, our own family problem to solve either.

3. You think you are doing this all for the sake of your daughter, you are dreaming, love is unconditional and love has got no boundary. Be it where she is, if she is yours she will come looking for you, even the court cannot stop her. You think you so call wife dare to treat her badly YES and NO, depends. This place you are on is not big she can always go find you. If you sell your kidney, do you think you still have the energy to go for two or three jobs to support your daughter, better to keep your kidney and work harder. Some Bros already say downgrade you house, can you stay in a smaller house or die die must stay int a castle. If you get into complication you are destroying your daughter, don't tell me you want her to go work in GL to support you eventually. Pardon me if I have said it wrongly.

4. In the end you achieve nothing instead you destroy one complete family nuclear and one young daughter totally due to your one sided thinking that you are a saint. Maybe by then you are happy, you manage to destroy everything except yourself.

You need to let nature take it's course, the judge will know what to do, you thing she ask for any amount, the judge will approve, no doubt in this piece of land woman always win. You have to present you financial status and fight the case. YES you need to pay but how much, what is the mode. You think she want money and the judge will straight away approve, well maybe YES but not necessary.

So long as you stay safe and healthy, the light is always be with you. Do not switch off all the lights and shut your ears.

This is just my personal opinion.

Re: advice needed
 

bro work hard and jiayou ba.

Re: advice needed
 

dear friends and fellow kakis...my apologies to revive this thread....pls do not worry as I have no intention of selling my kidneys anymore....
i have been working hard for extras but my debt issues are still stagnant....
recently I have lost my job henceforth without choice but to work for the illegal side...

As consciousness steps in....I surrendered myself and I know I will be facing the event of stepping into changi chalet soon...reason of the surrender is because of guilt causes and I wanted my background washed clean so my daughter can be proud of me....some may say I am dumb to do so...but honestly speaking...I know that sooner or later I will get caught as the related agencies are suspicious of me after a few calls from friends working there.

currently I am just out from my lockup...which I can only say it's really made me more determined not to step back into the wrong side of crimes.

hence need assistance from beloved fellow samsters if anyone of u happens to know if there is any proper daily paid jobs...have experience working in banquets as a waiter few years back also...currently at the age of 33....but I am more looking into a daily paid nightclub/ktv job for nights where I understand from some samsters that the pay is much better compared to normal waiter jobs as there are tips provided too....reason being is that at least with a night ktv job....I can spend my remainding days with my daughter during the daytime.

it's kinda tough to type this message asking for advice as most ppl does not wash their embarassing side to the public...especially it's my bday today.but at least I feel that for the sake of turning over a new leaf...I should put down my ego...

Appreciate kind assistance pls....

ps:pls do not offer me jobs which are against the law as I required at least a proper income

Re: advice needed
 

Happy birthday. ;)

Re: advice needed
 

Happy Birthday dude.

Sigh. You've destroyed yourself for a woman and daughter. We don't know what went on & I don't want to be judgemental but you're still young. Think about your life, what do you want to achieve and what makes you happy then work towards your goal.

I hope you daughter loves you for all that you've done.