Chasing the girl back after break-up

[bpafree]

Hello bros.. i guess i need some guidance from some experienced people here regarding this topic.

We have broken up for less than a month, and her replies were like from a different person.. I miss her, and was thinking that.. if i dun chase her back now, im afraid when 20 or 30 years later and someone asks me what is my greatest regret, i would reply that person that the greatest regret is not chasing her back and see her marry happily to another man. :(

Okay, back to topic.. I would like to ask her out for a movie, and probably a good talk regarding our relationship(we had a silent breakup). And i also dunno if she is willing to do that or not as she was like quite decisive about the breakup.

To those bros here who had done this, did u succeed or fail? any unexpected outcome? what are the backfires that could happen? :confused: would like to hear more about this before i make my next move..

[prccuntlover]

why chase?
go for another girl la...
breaking is always hard especially if you are not the one who initiate..
1) could i have done any better
2) if i have done that, would she have not leave me

my ex-gf can tell even tell me what past is past no point dwelling...

[oahpekahsom]

dun bother la....if not yours means not yours,......

[waiwaiz]

To those bros here who had done this, d

yes, get back together then broke off again. pointless doing it.might as well spend the time chasing other,,,tio bo?:o

[dyelook]

To those bros here who had done this, did u succeed or fail? any unexpected outcome? what are the backfires that could happen? :confused: would like to hear more about this before i make my next move..

think you are not really into this relationship loh... why must hear from others before you make your next move? :rolleyes:

[Ichigowaffles]

Romance her. Ask her out for dinner make sure u look dashing/ extremely groomed so she will have gd impression that u can take care of yourself.
Treat her to somewhere u two had a special moment or somewhere romantic n new.
Do not show u r desperate for her to come back.
Be confident and ooze charisma...
Let her fall/soften for u then hug / kiss her
Simply let passion occur not ask for a patch back.

[Stud00]

Hello bros.. i guess i need some guidance from some experienced people here regarding this topic.

We have broken up for less than a month, and her replies were like from a different person.. I miss her, and was thinking that.. if i dun chase her back now, im afraid when 20 or 30 years later and someone asks me what is my greatest regret, i would reply that person that the greatest regret is not chasing her back and see her marry happily to another man. :(

Okay, back to topic.. I would like to ask her out for a movie, and probably a good talk regarding our relationship(we had a silent breakup). And i also dunno if she is willing to do that or not as she was like quite decisive about the breakup.

To those bros here who had done this, did u succeed or fail? any unexpected outcome? what are the backfires that could happen? :confused: would like to hear more about this before i make my next move..


TS,

I have been in the same situation as you, mine ended up via sms. And up to this day, i regretted not meeting her up and talking about it like adults.
Silent break-ups do not exist, i think that it is bullshit. If both adults wanna end a relationship, sit down, and talk like adults (Unless both parties ended it in a hostile way, ie two-timing).

Some questions to ask yourself, and now is a good time for you to reflect on yourself, Do you really love her? what is it about her that you love? Do you see yourself marrying her, settling down, starting a family and stuff? Can you accept her? And most importantly, what led to the "break up". This is really important, no point getting back together just because you are feeling emo and a few months down the road, you guys break off and the entire emo cycle repeats itself. Find the problem, and solve it. But for starters, ask her out and have a heart to heart talk with her, at least if things doesnt work out, you still have her as friends. From what i see, i can tell that you still love her and you do love her, but don't confuse emotions with actual facts.. and never ever be led by emotions.

In closing, I would like to leave you with this:

Never live your life in regrets..

All the best.. :)

[sammyboyfor]

i would reply that person that the greatest regret is not chasing her back and see her marry happily to another man. :(



Never try to mend a broken relationship. You'll be much worse off in the long term and your greatest regret will invariably be that you wasted more of your time with the same girl instead of grabbing the opportunity to start afresh.

Let her go and you'll enjoy the satisfaction of seeing some other man having to put up with a fat, old, grumpy wife that you could have ended up with.

This "I want to grow old together with you" is the stuff of fairy tales. Reality is a lot different. :D

[voice]

Just let it go . :)

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Hello bros.. i guess i need some guidance from some experienced people here regarding this topic.

We have broken up for less than a month, and her replies were like from a different person.. I miss her, and was thinking that.. if i dun chase her back now, im afraid when 20 or 30 years later and someone asks me what is my greatest regret, i would reply that person that the greatest regret is not chasing her back and see her marry happily to another man.

To those bros here who had done this, did u succeed or fail? any unexpected outcome? what are the backfires that could happen? :confused: would like to hear more about this before i make my next move..

Why need to hear others stories? Every failed relationship has a story and a life of it's own, what works for others might not work for you. The more you hear from others, the more confuse you will become. Only you know why she left you! Let your heart be your guiding light :cool:

.....We have broken up for less than a month, and her replies were like from a different person.. I miss her, and was thinking that.. if i dun chase her back now, im afraid when 20 or 30 years later and someone asks me what is my greatest regret, i would reply that person that the greatest regret is not chasing her back and see her marry happily to another man......

Such endless love statement is understandable for a still-fresh break up cos you miss her. No need to wait for 20-30 years.

Anyway if you really want to do something for yourself: Just send her a box of cheese cake every 2-3 days and check your regret in 2-3months time.
It be regrets???? What regrets? :p

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

double post

[alan0338]

what are the backfires that could happen? :confused: ..

the backfire could be she cant tahan ur pestering and call 999, then she say , pls help me i believe i have a stalker here ..... :eek: :D

[RealEstateGuy]

I dont recommend it. If it happens let her initiate it. You need to make her miss you and that is done by beind absent from her until she reflects and tries to get you back. Still I don't recommend it unless you two really communicate on what happened to case the breakup. If that can't be done then its not going to work out in the long run and like the boss said you would be wasting your time. The opportunity cost being that you could be with someone else or at least get a chance to see if someone else is more compatible for you.

[arsenal_84]

hmm i ever try asking for a patch back with my ex before over sms (suffered a silent break as well)...no doubt i admit it was an insincere move on my part, she didn't give me any answers or was trying to play dumb.
so knowing that i won't get anything out of her, i was determined to move on without looking back.

[see see only]

Tell us the real reason behind the break up - first ... :)

Before more advice could be suggested ba, TS ;)


Maybe really pointless to try harder, or maybe ........... a few tips could given :rolleyes:

[bpafree]

Tell us the real reason behind the break up - first ... :)

Before more advice could be suggested ba, TS ;)


Maybe really pointless to try harder, or maybe ........... a few tips could given :rolleyes:

The reason is that we didn tell each other those things that we dun like about each other until the day where she decided to let go.. i then know we have been doing the wrong things for quite a while. Instead of speaking our minds with each other, we chose to bottled things up..

There are alot of bad things about me that i only realize after reading her 'final email' to me. I never cherish her i would say..

Now, during work is still okay as i am quite busy, so she wont come to my mind quite often. But when back at home, seeing our photos together and the stuffs she made for me, it really break my heart.. :(

[bernie]

move on bro........

[sammyboyfor]

Now, during work is still okay as i am quite busy, so she wont come to my mind quite often. But when back at home, seeing our photos together and the stuffs she made for me, it really break my heart.. :(

Just throw all that stupid stuff away. :D It's meaningless.

Your new girlfriend will soon fill your room with new stuff.

[see see only]

.......... where she decided to let go.. i then know we have been doing the wrong things for quite a while. Instead of speaking our minds with each other, we chose to bottled things up..

There are alot of bad things about me that i only realize after reading her 'final email' to me. I never cherish her i would say............(

Mate ...

I guess you should know by now in this r/s, who loves who more, right? .... if she loves you more than go to A2, if not go to A1

A1 - She is sick of you and giving you all the excuses to break up with you in a responsible way ..... Move on ba, there are more trees waiting for you to chop in the forest .... :o

A2 - If she loves you more than you do, the email is purely to express her unfavourable feeling against you, and is your job right now to draft a real sincere reply to propose your changes and apologise ... then wait for news :rolleyes:


Good luck mate :)

[arsenal_84]

Just throw all that stupid stuff away. :D It's meaningless.


agreed, clear all the useless stuff after the break up :D

[Stud00]

The reason is that we didn tell each other those things that we dun like about each other until the day where she decided to let go.. i then know we have been doing the wrong things for quite a while. Instead of speaking our minds with each other, we chose to bottled things up..

There are alot of bad things about me that i only realize after reading her 'final email' to me. I never cherish her i would say..

Now, during work is still okay as i am quite busy, so she wont come to my mind quite often. But when back at home, seeing our photos together and the stuffs she made for me, it really break my heart.. :(


If you feel that you didn't cherish her, then i believe you should do some serious self reflection, and if you do still love her, do something about it now. DONT live your life in regret.

Btw, communication is the basics of life, u definitely need to communicate! :)

[dylanchow]

Emmm....got piak piak mah

Sometimes also must piak piak....beside communication.
Sometimes if she satisfied...can erase alot of things...like refresh for fresh start.

[FuckingPerfect]

A good horse will not turn back to crop the old grass.

This world is full of grass. It would be better for you to go find another better patch of grass :)

[erliquin]

My two cents:

In any broken relationship, there must be a story behind. And for a relationship to begin, there must be some pulling factors that is strong enough to make two persons decide getting together. All you need to do is to revive the pulling factors and be mindful that doing so require really positive emotions and open mind. Therefore, your first task is to rebuild yourself.

Now that she has initiated a break-up, which means, in other words, she is dissatisfied with you or the relationship to an unbearable extend. If you want to patch things up, you need to "remind" her of your attractiveness. Obviously right now, all that's left after a fresh break-up is negative feelings: her negative feelings on you, on the relationship and of course, you feel bad for yourself, you feel useless and you feel nothing is fine around you. If you are in love with her so much, I am sure you are experiencing some psychological downhill now.

What you need to do is to get yourself recovered from the negatives. Put her aside. Remember, when a girl say no, means no. Don't even plan to ask why or even try to be gentleman or try to be mature by wanting to solve things face to face. Leave it, not that knowing the reason will help. The more you are in contact with her, she will only get annoyed and will only think that she did a right choice in leaving you. Give yourself 25 days of no connection of her, ie, remove everything that reminds you of her. I've been through that, its gonna be really tough.

I would say, after 25 days, check your emotion. If you are darn sure you have chased away all the negative emotions, then you will have to think if you really want to look for reconciliation.

My personal experience is that it took me 4 months to recover. I was in the emotion roller coaster for 4 months. I am sure you can do better than me, give yourself 25 days. I am sure within a few days, she will "try to check" if you are doing alright. Don't be fooled by that, don't give it attention too soon. If it's a text, delay your reply and reply short and simple saying yes you are fine, if it is a phone call, give direct answer and then say you are busy and will talk soon.

Key here is to keep her appearance in your mind to the minimal, none is at best. Give it a try. If she is really the right one, you guys will have at least 20 years to go. Won't this 25 days be a good replacement for 7300 days in future?

Hope this helps.

[goodpartner]

Never try to mend a broken relationship. You'll be much worse off in the long term and your greatest regret will invariably be that you wasted more of your time with the same girl instead of grabbing the opportunity to start afresh.

Let her go and you'll enjoy the satisfaction of seeing some other man having to put up with a fat, old, grumpy wife that you could have ended up with.

This "I want to grow old together with you" is the stuff of fairy tales. Reality is a lot different. :D


Hmm.... been absent from SBF for a couple of months and discover that this place is more aunty-agony-friendly now :rolleyes::D

Peace ;)

[Nato17]

My two cents:

Key here is to keep her appearance in your mind to the minimal, none is at best. Give it a try. If she is really the right one, you guys will have at least 20 years to go. Won't this 25 days be a good replacement for 7300 days in future?

Hope this helps.

Woot! Great way of putting it. I would up you with my points when I get back my power. With this analogy: 25 DAYS vs 7300 days, it should be clear to our TS here what to do.

[wangchung001]

I understand how you feel,
I just went through the same thing.
Been with a girl for some time and recently broke up with her.
Turns out she been seeing someone behind my back.
Spoke to her like adults and we came to a resolution.
You can't force someone to love you. The best thing to do is to let it go.
Keep yourself occupied so you don't think of her.
Get rid of all the stuff that reminds you of her.
Go and enjoy yourself. Who knows? In a few months you might meet
someone better and this break-up could be the best thing to happen to you.

[bpafree]

My two cents:

In any broken relationship, there must be a story behind. And for a relationship to begin, there must be some pulling factors that is strong enough to make two persons decide getting together. All you need to do is to revive the pulling factors and be mindful that doing so require really positive emotions and open mind. Therefore, your first task is to rebuild yourself.

Now that she has initiated a break-up, which means, in other words, she is dissatisfied with you or the relationship to an unbearable extend. If you want to patch things up, you need to "remind" her of your attractiveness. Obviously right now, all that's left after a fresh break-up is negative feelings: her negative feelings on you, on the relationship and of course, you feel bad for yourself, you feel useless and you feel nothing is fine around you. If you are in love with her so much, I am sure you are experiencing some psychological downhill now.

What you need to do is to get yourself recovered from the negatives. Put her aside. Remember, when a girl say no, means no. Don't even plan to ask why or even try to be gentleman or try to be mature by wanting to solve things face to face. Leave it, not that knowing the reason will help. The more you are in contact with her, she will only get annoyed and will only think that she did a right choice in leaving you. Give yourself 25 days of no connection of her, ie, remove everything that reminds you of her. I've been through that, its gonna be really tough.

I would say, after 25 days, check your emotion. If you are darn sure you have chased away all the negative emotions, then you will have to think if you really want to look for reconciliation.

My personal experience is that it took me 4 months to recover. I was in the emotion roller coaster for 4 months. I am sure you can do better than me, give yourself 25 days. I am sure within a few days, she will "try to check" if you are doing alright. Don't be fooled by that, don't give it attention too soon. If it's a text, delay your reply and reply short and simple saying yes you are fine, if it is a phone call, give direct answer and then say you are busy and will talk soon.

Key here is to keep her appearance in your mind to the minimal, none is at best. Give it a try. If she is really the right one, you guys will have at least 20 years to go. Won't this 25 days be a good replacement for 7300 days in future?

Hope this helps.

if really want to count, it will be exactly one month since we left each other, unseen, unspoken.

During work is still okay, but when alone, e.g walking home, memories of her flashed into my mind. I admit i am in a very 'mao tun' state. Mainly because when we are still together for the last few months before break-up, i already predict we wont last for long and was planning how to initiate a break-up.. But who knows the break-up just happened as swiftly as the wind.

Only a few of my friends know that we have broken up, not even my parents know about it. i just dunno how to open my mouth to say it :(

You guys mentioned new girl will come ah, meet new girls and maybe i will find a new one soon ah.. but frankly speaking, im not in a mood for another relationship.. even if a very chio one offer herself to me, i would rather have her as FB instead of a steady gf.

After the break-up, i then knew what are the bad habit/personalities that she dislike. I guess i would have to change all those before i step into another relationship ba.

[bpafree]

Emmm....got piak piak mah

Sometimes also must piak piak....beside communication.
Sometimes if she satisfied...can erase alot of things...like refresh for fresh start.

i dunno if i should agree or not..

we haven piak piak for more than a yr, cos she isnt sexually attractively to me even though she is quite pretty.. there wasnt any spark there u see.. i should have guess there is something wrong in this relationship liao :rolleyes:

[bpafree]

I understand how you feel,
I just went through the same thing.
Been with a girl for some time and recently broke up with her.
Turns out she been seeing someone behind my back.
Spoke to her like adults and we came to a resolution.
You can't force someone to love you. The best thing to do is to let it go.
Keep yourself occupied so you don't think of her.
Get rid of all the stuff that reminds you of her.
Go and enjoy yourself. Who knows? In a few months you might meet
someone better and this break-up could be the best thing to happen to you.

I guess i still have one last thing to do.. a final, sincere and polite letter to her :)

[kwaychup]

I guess i still have one last thing to do.. a final, sincere and polite letter to her :)

hey ts
just meet her for a final chat, i trust that there will still be some stuffs that she has over your place/her place that you guys want back.
take this chance to speak your mind whatsoever.

i would just say that if you never speak to her about it, you would just regret it later.

a letter is just too insincere no matter how well you write it.

my 2 cents

[wangchung001]

Go for it bro, get the closure you need.
Speaking in person helps a huge deal.
Just remember approach it with an open mind.
Whatever the case don't allow yourself to get angry.

[K9696]

Hello bros.. i guess i need some guidance from some experienced people here regarding this topic.

We have broken up for less than a month, and her replies were like from a different person.. ..

if really want to count, it will be exactly one month since we left each other, unseen, unspoken.

. I admit i am in a very 'mao tun' state. Mainly because when we are still together for the last few months before break-up, i already predict we wont last for long and was planning how to initiate a break-up.. But who knows the break-up just happened as swiftly as the wind.
.

Hello TS...
I am confuse and find that your statement is contradicting..

Posting in SBF to get advise - maybe your close friend knows better
than us....

If it is your bad.. then .. let it go
不要欺骗自己
不要争如果不是你的

ALL THE BEST:p

[emorufio]

Hello TS...
I am confuse and find that your statement is contradicting..

Posting in SBF to get advise - maybe your close friend knows better
than us....

If it is your bad.. then .. let it go
不要欺骗自己
不要争如果不是你的

ALL THE BEST:p

Yes true your close friends or family might do better...
But our fellow bros here who have gone through this might even help better as in the outcome if to move on or to be patient and wait for her to come to a sense to talk things out.

I myself just got broken up last month 30th May 11....the day i will never forget. I feel alot worse as even though its only almost 4 years together and knowing her family members and cousins very closely like dinner/chalet/outing.

I feel lost but sometimes the words in this thread/forum helps.
All we need is time to figure it out and keep ourselves preoccupied with the things we have been doing daily. Concentrate on work,working out and so.
Yes i know it hurts alot as you have spent almost ever other day with her like talking to her and sharing your daily views.

Im still waiting to see things clearly and hoping she comes to a sense to calm down and talk things out.

Gl to everyone who has a broken heart to mend...time will only tell

[bloopz]

hello ts,

i cannot understand what is a silent break? does not contacting each other after a major quarrel = silent break? isn't it quite a waste if both sides r just waiting for the other to contact them?

from the things u mentioned, it seems to me that the gal cares quite alot about u? if yes, she might be waiting for u to apologize but the apology didnt happen?

communication is very important in a relationship. i think it will be good to have a good heart to heart talk to iron things out. if it still doesn't work then at least it will be a proper closure right?

ps: its good that u know what r the negative traits about urself that ur ex don't like. but do not promise to change urself just to get her back coz u will only set expectations for her which in the end cause more disappointment if u cant live up to what u have promised...

[knnb40]

Hello bros.. i guess i need some guidance from some experienced people here regarding this topic.

We have broken up for less than a month, and her replies were like from a different person.. I miss her, and was thinking that.. if i dun chase her back now, im afraid when 20 or 30 years later and someone asks me what is my greatest regret, i would reply that person that the greatest regret is not chasing her back and see her marry happily to another man. :(

Okay, back to topic.. I would like to ask her out for a movie, and probably a good talk regarding our relationship(we had a silent breakup). And i also dunno if she is willing to do that or not as she was like quite decisive about the breakup.

To those bros here who had done this, did u succeed or fail? any unexpected outcome? what are the backfires that could happen? :confused: would like to hear more about this before i make my next move..

1) You just have to be ready to take all the shaming if ever it end up she not give you face when you two meet.
2) Have a good understanding on what is the reason both of you end up to this stage, if the wrong is on your side, admit and bag her for forgiveness. If the wrong is on her side, well if you still want her back, sweet talk to her and gain her back.
3) Dress well, buy flower, bring her to a adverage rest. best if outside rest has a public park or sea side walkway. Discuss there after dinner at the public park. Do not discuss during dinning.
4) Be sincere and ready to let her go if ever things go south. Wish her well.
5) If feel like crying , cry lah, don't think about face matter.

Good Luck.

Win or lose, you have done your best.

lose - move on mate, I have my fair share of falling, you link your wound and get alone, I am still a happy man with many past......

[dylanchow]

i dunno if i should agree or not..

we haven piak piak for more than a yr, cos she isnt sexually attractively to me even though she is quite pretty.. there wasnt any spark there u see.. i should have guess there is something wrong in this relationship liao :rolleyes:

I guess you know the rootcause now. This frustration add up everything.
The problem start when no piak piak. She dont feel special anymore.
Now, all of a sudden want to piak also dont know or difficult to start

[Ken79]

When a gal has changed her love for you; she has made up her mind already and maybe for somebody else, so don't make yourself cheap and go crawling or begging.

The only way is to make yourself better through a happier life and career now and future than you did while you guys were together, make her regret that she had ever wanted to break up with you.

While at it, fuck some whores or FBs or get another gf.

[天山童老]

Hello bros.. i guess i need some guidance from some experienced people here regarding this topic.

We have broken up for less than a month, and her replies were like from a different person.. I miss her, and was thinking that.. if i dun chase her back now, im afraid when 20 or 30 years later and someone asks me what is my greatest regret, i would reply that person that the greatest regret is not chasing her back and see her marry happily to another man. :(

Okay, back to topic.. I would like to ask her out for a movie, and probably a good talk regarding our relationship(we had a silent breakup). And i also dunno if she is willing to do that or not as she was like quite decisive about the breakup.

To those bros here who had done this, did u succeed or fail? any unexpected outcome? what are the backfires that could happen? :confused: would like to hear more about this before i make my next move..






No move. Just lead your own life and treat her as a casual friend. Text her only once in a while. If she's stucking up, then probably due to your retreat, she'll test water to come near you again initiatively. But if she has no response than probably she lost interest in you and will not be back with you no matter what you do!


She will not be your greatest regret down the road unless is you want to make her one! The best way to treat a broken heart is time and a new r/s. So as time goes by, the feeling of need for her will only lessen and not increase. If you are wild, go out and bonk a few girls and you can easily regain your confidence level back. If you are softer type, than just be normal.
Always, we heard female say seducing and luring a man. But actually same thing for them too... If you are too easy to them, they dun give a damn. Play hard to catch they will find you very MAN LOL

[天山童老]

When a gal has changed her love for you; she has made up her mind already and maybe for somebody else, so don't make yourself cheap and go crawling or begging.

The only way is to make yourself better through a happier life and career now and future than you did while you guys were together, make her regret that she had ever wanted to break up with you.

While at it, fuck some whores or FBs or get another gf.



Haha great mind thinks alike!

Take the advise of this bro and get ahead with you life.... beside proving her decision wrong, it's also beneficial to your own. Should be more concern to how to make yourself the winner instead, why bother to make yourself a loser when they are so many babes walking on the street, you won't be afraid that you cannot find one better than her.

Also, take into considerations IF you happened to fail after attempts, your self-confidence is most likely going to drop tremendously! The time, effort and money will all be going down the drain (might missed out better opportunities too). Than at the end 20-30yrs down the road, become YOUR GREATEST REGRET to try to chase back somebody that is not worth it instead. LOL

[r0cksteady]

TS, if you don't want to regret then go for it. It's true. You rather go for it and then fail then to wonder what if....... .

And time cannot be turned back.

That said, there is always a reason why people break up.

And if you broke up once... there is always an underlying reason which can make the break up happen again.

If you really want to try again, you need to do one thing. And that is to ERASE all the bad things she ever said or did to you, completely from your mind.

No more dwelling on the past. Remember you don't have the past. You don't have the future. You only have NOW. And what you do NOW will determine your future. So, the past is dead. Leave it there.

Even if you get together, DO NOT talk about the past. Create the new NOW.

And even if you get angry or quarrel, NEVER bring up the past.

This is only possible if you have a highly trained mind and she is the one you want forever. Is she worth it? You will know when you try.

If you can do it and she too and wants to, then of course you can be together.

Otherwise, one day, out of anger.... all the frustrations you tolerated will just fly out and all the past hurts, all the things she did or said, will come back to haunt you and you will lose control of your mouth, bring back the past misdeeds and just throw everything back to her. Then you will realise nothing can be repaired anymore once they go past the stage of no return, and she is not worth your tolerance at all.

If you can ERASE ALL PAST pains and focus on the NOW every moment, then go for it. Otherwise, you could be just looking for pain.

[PuTonRen]

A good horse would never turn its head back for the herbes.

Move on! Brother!

[lalakers]

find yourself first before you look for others.

if she really is the one you want, I'd say go for it, but I should also say get out there and see the world first before you decide what you really want, or who you really want to spend all your time with.

[scaredycat]

we haven piak piak for more than a yr, cos she isnt sexually attractively to me even though she is quite pretty.. there wasnt any spark there u see.. i should have guess there is something wrong in this relationship liao :rolleyes:

the answer is obvious... u should move on... :)
and this isnt the reason why u didnt make love with her right...