Need help Marriage that turns Sour

[kenny88]

I need help from SBF bro & sis advice & help..

I'm helping my friend (W) for her married, she get married in end of year 2008.

Firstly, W is a very type of super glue, and her attitude is ferce (because her hubby able betray her a year after married)
her husband (H) did ask for forgiveness, and everything is find.. but after period of time.. when every they have argument, W will bring out her attitude again. H actually try to solve their issue, but W still act the same.

Currently W asking me for help as H wish to divorce with her, and i did come out for a drink and talk regarding their issue, but H still very firm with his decision as he say "i had try so many time to save their relationship but failed, now very tired and wish to give up le", and W currently no more super glue/attitude le.

As i find out from W, H join a new company beginning of year2011, H always go chiong pub, ktv, restaurant with this group of colleagues (2gal & 2 guy include H - i not sure did they involve in sex). H had overspend and in a deep debts currently, even his credit card / easy credit only manage to pay a min pym, and now still insist to divorce.

I'm going to meet H this friday night for a drink. SBF bro/sis... pls help/advice.. what can i do / say to bring H back in track and keep away from that group of colleagues.

Haiz....sorry for boring you guys/gals... but i really need help urgently, as H is not my friend, so it is really hard for me to have a chances to jio him out.

[vader8847]

I need help from SBF bro & sis advice & help..

I'm helping my friend (W) for her married, she get married in end of year 2008.

Firstly, W is a very type of super glue, and her attitude is ferce (because her hubby able betray her a year after married)
her husband (H) did ask for forgiveness, and everything is find.. but after period of time.. when every they have argument, W will bring out her attitude again. H actually try to solve their issue, but W still act the same.

Currently W asking me for help as H wish to divorce with her, and i did come out for a drink and talk regarding their issue, but H still very firm with his decision as he say "i had try so many time to save their relationship but failed, now very tired and wish to give up le", and W currently no more super glue/attitude le.

As i find out from W, H join a new company beginning of year2011, H always go chiong pub, ktv, restaurant with this group of colleagues (2gal & 2 guy include H - i not sure did they involve in sex). H had overspend and in a deep debts currently, even his credit card / easy credit only manage to pay a min pym, and now still insist to divorce.

I'm going to meet H this friday night for a drink. SBF bro/sis... pls help/advice.. what can i do / say to bring H back in track and keep away from that group of colleagues.

Haiz....sorry for boring you guys/gals... but i really need help urgently, as H is not my friend, so it is really hard for me to have a chances to jio him out.

My suggestion to you is please persuade your friend to consult marriage cousellor.

We are not expert may lead to even more disaster...

[jason30]

i agree with vader.

u only heard story from 1 side.Plus u he might not consider u as a neutral party.

[V|ernar]

i suggest you post on the matter of heart section

[mitsit]

Though I agreed with the bros that have made their suggestions, that marriage counseller is the best option, do keep in mind that they are not cheap as well..

Maybe can seek help from volunteer services...

But here is my take:

1. If he is already in debts, it will not be long before his friends will start to desert him also. It is no secret that he obviously cannot afford the lifestyle they are having, and soon, he will drift from the group well they go party on..

2. You can ask him, after the dust has settled, what is going to happen? When he finds out that these friends aren't there for the right reasons, who will he turn to?

3. Rekindle the marriage spirit. How they felt back when he was into her. Reignite that feeling... maybe something he did, or she did... Honeymoon... something along that line...

4. With the new colleagues, they chiong KTV, with the lady colleagues? hhhmmm....... dont know what to say about that...

These are the few things I can think of lah.. but I think seeking professional help is still the best option, but since Friday is tmr.. you may not have enough time to engage help, so maybe you would like to start with these..?

[kenny88]

Though I agreed with the bros that have made their suggestions, that marriage counseller is the best option, do keep in mind that they are not cheap as well..

Maybe can seek help from volunteer services...

"Me and W already advice H to go for counseller, but he insist not too"

But here is my take:

1. If he is already in debts, it will not be long before his friends will start to desert him also. It is no secret that he obviously cannot afford the lifestyle they are having, and soon, he will drift from the group well they go party on..

hmm.. he earn 4k+ pm, now still in debts, still go out daily, still insist to divorce, because he still have lot of bank can used ready credit.zzzz

2. You can ask him, after the dust has settled, what is going to happen? When he finds out that these friends aren't there for the right reasons, who will he turn to?

asked. he ruther used ready credit or maybe ah long in future.. he already know overspending, but still go out leh..

3. Rekindle the marriage spirit. How they felt back when he was into her. Reignite that feeling... maybe something he did, or she did... Honeymoon... something along that line...

he say that is past.. life is short.. prefer to enjoy as bachelor.. dont wish to commit..

4. With the new colleagues, they chiong KTV, with the lady colleagues? hhhmmm....... dont know what to say about that...

I not sure is sex involve??? but he say "NO".
(2male, 2 female, 3 of them are going to divorce <includeH> and one still attached, but they go out everynight) so i belive it was influence by his colleagues.

These are the few things I can think of lah.. but I think seeking professional help is still the best option, but since Friday is tmr.. you may not have enough time to engage help, so maybe you would like to start with these..?

yes that the sad part... :'( , so i hope i can get a powerfull bullet from sbf bro & sis here..

[kenny88]

sad.... i just doing my part as the husband's parents call me up and keep asking me to help them bring their son out of hell..
and i was stuck, and wish sbf bro & sis to help..
but end up....
sad... pls stop zip me leh...

[no_skin]

Bro, this one FL thread la. I am sure all the married brothers reading will feel for you and your friend but this is not the right place to ask. Sure Kenna zap.

[kenny88]

Bro, this one FL thread la. I am sure all the married brothers reading will feel for you and your friend but this is not the right place to ask. Sure Kenna zap.

some bro did told me i post at the wrong place. and i do create a new thread in matters of the heart :cool:. it just that i unable to delete the thread that i created wrongly in FL :mad:. but till today, all the fl thread that i created had disappear :eek:, and the thread in matters of the heart is replace by this :(

[YNT123]

Please ask your friend to get professional help in marriage consultation.

[loster]

Well, i guess they need to resolve it within themselves. If they are nt willing, going to a counsellor wun help.

[kenny88]

well.. .. they both agreed to try for another 3 months. during this period, H will not commit or put any effort, and W need to find reference on how to move him & change his mind. what can she do to make him accept her / change his mind?

W faith to pray, and do talk to father, just that issue cant solve.
H dont even dare to step in, & do not wish to attend marriage consultation / counsellor.

As per their parent favorite.. I've put my big ear to hear both side of their story. here the summary...
The wife (c-cup, syt look) admit wrong, willing to change her attitude / do whatever as per her hubby wish.
The Husband (tall, handsome) prefer to be bachelor, enjoy the time with friend / colleague and does not wish to commit ( the friend he mixed around are either divorce or single, so he is very envy with that type of life).

should i step out of this couple which most of sbf bro & sis ask me to? & let them resolve it within themselves (which is abit imposible)? or should i be the busybody??

pls stop zip me, i've lost lot of point from this thread. i not asking bro/sis to up me from this, i just doing a favorites for their old folks, & i dont earn anything for helping them, instate i paying all the bill & time spend for jio them out.... sainz...

[arsenal_84]

The Husband (tall, handsome) prefer to be bachelor, enjoy the time with friend / colleague and does not wish to commit ( the friend he mixed around are either divorce or single, so he is very envy with that type of life).


the problem lies with the husband...he saddened with debts and still want to sink even deeper into the dark side, what an idiot.
since he is not interested in working things out, why even bother then ?

[TedDibiase]

since he is not interested in working things out, why even bother then ?

Bingo, you hit the nail on the head

[cookiemonsta]

i think the final ultimatum lies within the relationship
what does both parties want to achieve out of the current relationship
both husband and wife has to define what they intent to achieve being together
may be embarrassing, but both should make a list of each other
likes, dislikes, would like partner to change
then negotiate!
if everyone can compromise and come to a common ground then it may still work?!?
everyone will have to make sacrifices to achieve the goal

my 2c

[prccuntlover]

H is gone for gd
Ask w to let go....
Tell h parent jia jia you Ben nan nian Zi Jing
N jie ling hai xu xi ling ten
Qing guan bu pan jia wu shi

[eBrightSide]

The wife (c-cup, syt look) admit wrong...

Its really wierd that you have to mention this... What has it got to do with your questions and their problems?

Sad to say thou, i have no real solution for you too, you need to hands to clap, and if the other hand is reluctant, there is no point forcing. If he had already turn a deaf ear and blind eye on all advices given and you have done your part as a friend, then he deserve a hard hit, real hard hit before he can wake up from his dream. And maybe then, he will come crawling back..

[goodpartner]

Its really wierd that you have to mention this... What has it got to do with your questions and their problems?


LoL, I k-po k-po here just for this comment which I look back to TS's post.
Bro, you took it out of the context lah! Not wierd at all!
But it's wierd you focused on it :rolleyes:


The wife (c-cup, syt look) admit wrong, willing to change her attitude / do whatever as per her hubby wish.
The Husband (tall, handsome) prefer to be bachelor, enjoy the time with friend / colleague and does not wish to commit ( the friend he mixed around are either divorce or single, so he is very envy with that type of life).


TS also say similar thing about the husband, so it's relevant. Maybe he is trying to imply that they both are "good match" for each other. Not about the cup size and looks...LoL.

Unless he wrote: "The wife (big nipples with one inverted, shaven pussy) admit wrong"
:D

[eBrightSide]

Maybe he is trying to imply that they both are "good match" for each other. Not about the cup size and looks...LoL.


hahaha... my bad, did not get this point that he is implying...

anyway lets not get out of topic... i will be interested too if someone has a brilliant solution for him and/or them...

[kenny88]

Thanks for bro & sis for the advice..

Yes, they are a very match either look, interest, hobby, education or family background.. it just that the huby just dont wake up..
let me explain, as for the "C cup, syt look" & "tall, handsome" yes, they really are, i just simply descript as this is a sex forum, dont offend me. hehe..

it was really hard for a outsider to help them up.. as im not a professional or marriage consultation.
if u ask me for my point view. yes, h is gone for gd, and w should wake up and start a new life, or best be my fb hahahaa... how i wish i can dont even bother.
BUT as a friend, i know them since they pak tor.. till marriage, and im their bro during their customary marriage, and till now they are on this stage..
i just got to ke po and do one last favourites for their old folks and two of them.

Any suggestion or advice are all welcome...

Thanks...

[TheHornyDevilz]

The most impt thing, thr wife still loves the hubby, and the hubby loves cheonging. He doesn't love the wufe. Dies he have another target somewhere out there he is eyeing? I asking because it seemed strange.

One way to change him is ti first take away his too free ways. Cut the credit card. That's the furst step.

[Reoxy]

Thanks for bro & sis for the advice..

w should wake up and start a new life, or best be my fb hahahaa...
Thanks...

Put your thoughts into actions then...

Pls post juicy real-life "I fucked my buddy's wife" story thereafter.

[kenny88]

Put your thoughts into actions then...

Pls post juicy real-life "I fucked my buddy's wife" story thereafter.

wahaha.... maybe i will.. maybe very soon, maybe will not...
currently i getting her for makeover, i did bring her buy bra, g-string, bikini, nightgown, dress, and she do test wear and ask me to go into the fitting room and ask for advice... shit.. i almost out of control...


The most impt thing, thr wife still loves the hubby, and the hubby loves cheonging. He doesn't love the wufe. Dies he have another target somewhere out there he is eyeing? I asking because it seemed strange.

One way to change him is ti first take away his too free ways. Cut the credit card. That's the furst step.

yes.. i do feel strange as well.. i do ask H's buddy as well... all claim the he dont have any target currently.
Cut his Credit card.. i dont have the right to do that, as H is type of showoff... even in debts, will not told his friend.. i get to know this from W.

[Reoxy]

wahaha.... maybe i will.. maybe very soon, maybe will not...
currently i getting her for makeover, i did bring her buy bra, g-string, bikini, nightgown, dress, and she do test wear and ask me to go into the fitting room and ask for advice... shit.. i almost out of control...

.

Hi Kenny, if you and H are indeed buddies, then you are an asshole by doing the things you did and I think you better get your agenda right: are you helping or are you creating more problems instead.

However, if you and H are not buddies, then pls go ahead and put in more effort to up W because if you continue to go shopping with her, you will end up being her gay friend and you will not get to suck on those C cups.

[kenny88]

Hi Kenny, if you and H are indeed buddies, then you are an asshole by doing the things you did and I think you better get your agenda right: are you helping or are you creating more problems instead.

However, if you and H are not buddies, then pls go ahead and put in more effort to up W because if you continue to go shopping with her, you will end up being her gay friend and you will not get to suck on those C cups.

I not buddies with H, but i was buddies with W. i get to know H from W. all this year, i only meet H when we have outing together, so simple to say not even a closed friend with H yet..
Frankly speaking, it will not be hard for me if i wish to up her..
unless i really failed my mission that they still endup with divorce.. then maybe will become a asshole..
currently, i still stick to my point and very firm that im there to rebuild their r/s.

[Reoxy]

I not buddies with H, but i was buddies with W. i get to know H from W. all this year, i only meet H when we have outing together, so simple to say not even a closed friend with H yet..
Frankly speaking, it will not be hard for me if i wish to up her..
unless i really failed my mission that they still endup with divorce.. then maybe will become a asshole..
currently, i still stick to my point and very firm that im there to rebuild their r/s.

Some relationships are not worth rebuilding because they lack certain foundations to stand on their own.

So what if you succeed in rebuilding it now? Can you be sure that it will not break down again? Then everybody is wasting their time.

So it is better to leave them alone. If they can salvage it themselves then they may have a future together. Else, things will still go wrong in future.

[kenny88]

Some relationships are not worth rebuilding because they lack certain foundations to stand on their own.

So what if you succeed in rebuilding it now? Can you be sure that it will not break down again? Then everybody is wasting their time.

So it is better to leave them alone. If they can salvage it themselves then they may have a future together. Else, things will still go wrong in future.

Yes.. i totally agreed.. no one can ansure r/s break down again..
but i turelly belive that, if there can rebuide their r/s, with this incident.. there r/s may become stronger ever after.. after that, what will be happen to their future again... i bo chup liao...
As there agreed to give each other another 3 mth period, and also agreed for me to slot in between for helping them.. so either divorce or rebuild.. i just try my best for this 3 months and that it...