Severe erectile dysfunction

[Polkadot8888]

Guys I need advice

I’m 39 this year and I think I have severe erectile dysfunction.

When I was younger (teens), I used to masturbate heavily to porn for many years. Over time, I needed more extreme content to feel aroused, and eventually even hardcore porn didn’t work well anymore. When I was younger, I could get strong erections easily, even just from thoughts. But from my early 20s, I started having erection issues and completely lost morning erections. I was also dealing with stress and anxiety about life.

I got married, but my ED caused a lot of problems. My wife didn’t understand and blamed me, and she was against me taking medication like Viagra or Cialis. The relationship became stressful and I eventually got depressed. We had almost no sex life for 3–4 years before divorcing.

Before the divorce, I went to a urology specialist at TTSH. I did brain scans and blood tests (testosterone, prolactin), all normal. The doctor also checked blood flow and said it was fine, concluding it was likely stress-related and prescribed Cialis and Viagra.

Initially, Cialis 20mg worked well for about a year, but over time the effect reduced. Now even taking higher doses doesn’t give me a strong erection. Viagra also no longer works as well.

I’ve tried escorts, and sometimes even with medication I feel mentally aroused but cannot get an erection, even with stimulation. Some bad experiences with escorts (being mocked or humiliated) affected my confidence badly.

Because of work stress and my failed marriage, my condition worsened. I still have no morning erections at all. I cannot get natural erections anymore. Even with medication, I need stimulation and I lose erection easily, especially when standing.

I noticed:

I can get erection when lying down
I lose erection quickly when standing
I struggle with missionary position
Doggy or cowgirl works better sometimes
Sometimes I feel numb and no sensation at all

I also have poor sleep and fatigue. Blood test shows borderline high cholesterol.

I tried:

Cialis / Viagra / other ED meds
TCM
Penis pump

None gave lasting improvement.

From my research, my symptoms seem like venous leak, but I’m not sure because pills still work sometimes. My previous doctor did not do a penile Doppler ultrasound.

Now I feel stuck and frustrated. I’ve been trying to “test” myself with escorts but performance is inconsistent. Anxiety makes it worse — I keep worrying I cannot perform.

I’m starting to consider penile implant, but I’m worried about risks and side effects. I heard SGH urology is more specialised in ED, so I’m thinking of going for a proper check-up to find the root cause.

Honestly, this has affected my confidence and quality of life a lot. I just want to have a normal sex life.

[owlette]

can't advise on the medical side.

personally went to see urologist as well as i felt my erection had issues as well. test results came back ok. was told its likely due to lifestyle/mental kind of issue. definitely good rest and exercise will help as well

my advice would be to find one person and try to work out your performance anxiety first. take things slow and focus on enjoying yourself instead of constantly thinking about your ED. of course your partner must be willing to work this through with you as well.

when i visited FLs, i always keep thinking about performing/making my money's worth. i ended up losing my erection/interest most of the time cause it felt like i was just forcing myself to cum to end things or "trying to stay hard" cause i have previous experiences of losing my erection.

im the kind of person that likes to see the lady enjoying herself during the act as well. so when i see them not enjoying themselves, i lose interest as well hence losing my erection.

so my best advise would be to get out of your own head

[fangy]

Bro, I remember reading a thread about some other bro who had a penile implant. Go look for that thread…

[Xgenre]

What's your height and weight? What's your fitness level like? Seems like you have no problem getting hard. The real problem is staying hard. Escorts are strangers who provide sex. Each time you meet a stranger, it comes with a certain level of performance anxiety. Like you need to perform within the next 10 minutes. Like waiting to run 2.4 km during NS IPPT. You don't know how the outcome will turn out later.

Given that you are single now, better find a regular FB. Many ladies out there need someone regular to cuddle up with. You find someone you can get comfortable with. Divorcees tend to click well with other divorcees. Go find yourself some single mums. Will remove the stranger performance anxiety.

[LauAdi]

Sounds like it’s more mental than physiological, but I’m no doctor.
Are you still enjoying all stages of sex? Foreplay etc
You sound like having sex is a test, but the essence of it is to enjoy it.
Don’t be so hard on yourself

[Polkadot8888]

Originally Posted by fangy

Bro, I remember reading a thread about some other bro who had a penile implant. Go look for that thread…

ya i saw that thread awhile ago and the amount of pain and risk of side effects thatneed to go through make me think twice. And need doctor to determine if im a candidate for it. Will see how and try make time for appt. Gov hosptial the costs should be cheaper.

[Polkadot8888]

Originally Posted by Xgenre

What's your height and weight? What's your fitness level like? Seems like you have no problem getting hard. The real problem is staying hard. Escorts are strangers who provide sex. Each time you meet a stranger, it comes with a certain level of performance anxiety. Like you need to perform within the next 10 minutes. Like waiting to run 2.4 km during NS IPPT. You don't know how the outcome will turn out later.

Given that you are single now, better find a regular FB. Many ladies out there need someone regular to cuddle up with. You find someone you can get comfortable with. Divorcees tend to click well with other divorcees. Go find yourself some single mums. Will remove the stranger performance anxiety.

My height around 172, weight 58kg only. Fitness level now sibei jialet even since i kena covid few times. Now even climing the stairs i will pant and my thigh n legs muscle tight as hell. its like chained with 100kg iron ball.

I have problem getting hard also. I couldnt get natural erection at all. Even with pills, a full naked chio lady infront me, i also wont get hard. Need stimulation to get hard and like you say i also got problem staying hard. Especially for 2nd shots, i usually worn out easily and get soft easily after that. Where to find regular FB and single mum?

[Polkadot8888]

Originally Posted by LauAdi

Sounds like it’s more mental than physiological, but I’m no doctor.
Are you still enjoying all stages of sex? Foreplay etc
You sound like having sex is a test, but the essence of it is to enjoy it.
Don’t be so hard on yourself

i think mine is a combination of physiological and physical erectile dysfunction.

Tbh, till date i dont enjoy sex as much as i want do. I only can let girls perform cowgirl or i doggy only. Wanted to try standing position etc but i couldn't. So devastating. And most of the ladies told me they never encountered clients like me before with such issue.

[LauAdi]

Originally Posted by Polkadot8888

i think mine is a combination of physiological and physical erectile dysfunction.

Tbh, till date i dont enjoy sex as much as i want do. I only can let girls perform cowgirl or i doggy only. Wanted to try standing position etc but i couldn't. So devastating. And most of the ladies told me they never encountered clients like me before with such issue.

Maybe try exercising? Fitness level may also help…all the best

[Polkadot8888]

Originally Posted by LauAdi

Maybe try exercising? Fitness level may also help…all the best

Tried before. No use at all.

[Steelchair]

Originally Posted by Polkadot8888

Tried before. No use at all.

Hi Bro,

Im 43 this year for context.

Not a health professional by any measure nor advocating for any specific treatments but sharing what has helped me these past years.

1. Been on TRT since 39. T levels titrated and stabilised to higher end of acceptable limits.

2. Has helped me tremendously with more consistent libido as well as mood. Started getting morning wood again. Mood wise, simplest way I would describe it is pre-TRT Id feel 5 days of poor and 2 days of average mood per week. Post-TRT is more like 1 day poor mood, 5 days of above average mood and 1 day great. Not a miracle by any means but certainly more than a subtle difference that people close to you will notice

To add, these things have also helped:

3. Better consistent sleep patterns and quality helps with recovery and mood.

4. Consider adding fitness into your lifestyle like some bros have encouraged. If on TRT, i would specifically suggest hitting the weights and lifting, HIIT, stuff like resistance training to build muscle mass since TRT will also promote muscle building. When your general fitness like cardio and muscle mass improves, you’ll also feel more confident in your appearance etc

Hope it helps!

[looney83]

tried juagen already?

exercise benefits.. and the thing is, by exercising once per week ain't going to help.

u need to be constant..

[kurtis]

bro, I replied your post in the penile implant, and gave you advice based on my experience.

now I see you saying you can perform in spoon position as compared to other position, then this issue is exactly the same as mine.

I strongly suggest you work on your tight pelvic floor muscle issue.

you can try going to any TCM and let them check whether you have any long/short leg (lateral pelvic tilt) and pelvic anterior tilt (forward tilt), and get some adjustment.

also if necessary and the TCM is skilled enough, you can get him to stick one needle to relax the muscle.

zhonghua has a pelvic floor unit, you can try seeking treatment from there. it's cheap, no harm trying.


https://www.zhonghuayiyuan.com/post_treatments/%E4%B8%AD%E5%8C%BB%E7%9B%86%E5%BA%95%E7%96%BE%E7%9 7%85%E9%97%A8%E8%AF%8A/

Originally Posted by Polkadot8888

Guys I need advice

I’m 39 this year and I think I have severe erectile dysfunction.

When I was younger (teens), I used to masturbate heavily to porn for many years. Over time, I needed more extreme content to feel aroused, and eventually even hardcore porn didn’t work well anymore. When I was younger, I could get strong erections easily, even just from thoughts. But from my early 20s, I started having erection issues and completely lost morning erections. I was also dealing with stress and anxiety about life.

I got married, but my ED caused a lot of problems. My wife didn’t understand and blamed me, and she was against me taking medication like Viagra or Cialis. The relationship became stressful and I eventually got depressed. We had almost no sex life for 3–4 years before divorcing.

Before the divorce, I went to a urology specialist at TTSH. I did brain scans and blood tests (testosterone, prolactin), all normal. The doctor also checked blood flow and said it was fine, concluding it was likely stress-related and prescribed Cialis and Viagra.

Initially, Cialis 20mg worked well for about a year, but over time the effect reduced. Now even taking higher doses doesn’t give me a strong erection. Viagra also no longer works as well.

I’ve tried escorts, and sometimes even with medication I feel mentally aroused but cannot get an erection, even with stimulation. Some bad experiences with escorts (being mocked or humiliated) affected my confidence badly.

Because of work stress and my failed marriage, my condition worsened. I still have no morning erections at all. I cannot get natural erections anymore. Even with medication, I need stimulation and I lose erection easily, especially when standing.

I noticed:

I can get erection when lying down
I lose erection quickly when standing
I struggle with missionary position
Doggy or cowgirl works better sometimes
Sometimes I feel numb and no sensation at all

I also have poor sleep and fatigue. Blood test shows borderline high cholesterol.

I tried:

Cialis / Viagra / other ED meds
TCM
Penis pump

None gave lasting improvement.

From my research, my symptoms seem like venous leak, but I’m not sure because pills still work sometimes. My previous doctor did not do a penile Doppler ultrasound.

Now I feel stuck and frustrated. I’ve been trying to “test” myself with escorts but performance is inconsistent. Anxiety makes it worse — I keep worrying I cannot perform.

I’m starting to consider penile implant, but I’m worried about risks and side effects. I heard SGH urology is more specialised in ED, so I’m thinking of going for a proper check-up to find the root cause.

Honestly, this has affected my confidence and quality of life a lot. I just want to have a normal sex life.

[Polkadot8888]

Originally Posted by kurtis

bro, I replied your post in the penile implant, and gave you advice based on my experience.

now I see you saying you can perform in spoon position as compared to other position, then this issue is exactly the same as mine.

I strongly suggest you work on your tight pelvic floor muscle issue.

you can try going to any TCM and let them check whether you have any long/short leg (lateral pelvic tilt) and pelvic anterior tilt (forward tilt), and get some adjustment.

also if necessary and the TCM is skilled enough, you can get him to stick one needle to relax the muscle.

zhonghua has a pelvic floor unit, you can try seeking treatment from there. it's cheap, no harm trying.


https://www.zhonghuayiyuan.com/post_...7%A8%E8%AF%8A/

Thank bro for the info. I will take a look. Hopefully it helps my issue.

[GorillazxSG]

Originally Posted by Polkadot8888

i think mine is a combination of physiological and physical erectile dysfunction.

Tbh, till date i dont enjoy sex as much as i want do. I only can let girls perform cowgirl or i doggy only. Wanted to try standing position etc but i couldn't. So devastating. And most of the ladies told me they never encountered clients like me before with such issue.

Dude. You need to take care of yourself first. Stop having thought of having sex. Improve your fitness, lifestyle, improve your sleep + stay away from stress . Stay away from sex or porn for a month. Take up a hobby. Relax yourself.

See if it works for you after a month.