Singapore guys are "softies"

[tenggiri]

Saw this article in yahoo and seems a bit familiear to me, dunno whether anyone reproduced it here before. Anyway the writer is lamenting about how S'pore guys suck cos she has been overseas and seen better!

She says we can't hold a coversation,,wahahaha. Probably been seduced by all the ang-mo mumbo jumbo i say. Tell you what ms Ong : We will listen and talk with you all u want just to get under yr skirt la....hehehe.


By Alexis Ong

Where are all the real Singapore men? Alexis Ong laments the rise of the 'manscaped,' handbag-carrying, conversation-less local male.



Sometimes a friend and I play a little game whose main objective requires us to guess whether androgynous-looking guys are gay or just your garden-variety metrosexual.

It's pretty hard to tell these days, what with tight jeans, "manscaping" and stores that specialize in making the average Singaporean dude look like a lubricated human glowstick.

The most recent objects of our attention were two guys in a restaurant booth next to ours, heads bent over the table, giggling over something on an iPhone, and basically acting like a pair of teenage girls. For healthy, straight girls, I'm going to go ahead and say this kind of sucks.

Sadly, guys like these aren't anomalies in Singapore -- they're the rule.

To be fair, survivors of the post-apocalyptic desert that is the local dating scene might think me unnecessarily harsh, but after a lifetime living overseas, a girl can get pretty accustomed to some good chat. This elusive creature is almost non-existent in Singapore, save for a specific demographic of guys who know how to make a conversation tick.

Even worse, guys here don't really like girls who can. Case in point: at a friend's birthday party, the debate-happy side of me got slightly carried away in a conversation about music, and a guy actually said: "Um ... are you just like this? All the time?"

Uh, yes. It's called talking, and besides being a very telling extension of your personality, the rest of the civilized world seems to think it's a great way of getting to know someone.

The reality of the situation is, guys here just aren't used to dealing with a little spunk. Whether this is because of society's more conservative inclinations or a very Singaporean aversion to healthy conflict, studies have shown that people here are content to marry someone they don't even like.

Retired professor and relationship expert David Olson explained that people here are "afraid to say what they think and are afraid to disagree." A 2005 survey revealed that only 14 percent of Singaporean couples claimed to be "very happy" in their relationships -- within the "unhappy" camp, reasons included disliking a partner's personality or communication problems.

Personally, I blame the men. There are plenty of traditional old Chinese men in my family who just can't compute when it comes to dealing with a modern career-minded woman, much less a woman who speaks her mind..

There are a few perks to shopping at the local guy market. There's still an archaic sense of chivalry here that involves a lot of hand-holding, constant accompaniment, and this weird phenomenon of couples collapsed on each other in public places, as if they're both asleep.

The latter is a particularly fascinating physical example of the tragicomically codependent dynamic that defines many local relationships.

Guys here are either alpha-male dominant and aggressive (hello, CBD business crowd) or totally whipped -- there's hardly a visible demographic in between.

Okay, fine, so it's not exactly easy to be a guy in Singapore. Women expect a lot of you these days ... having your own place, preferably with a car and a couple of credit cards thrown in.

I'm a little hesitant to bring up the 5Cs (condo, career, credit card, car, country club) because I feel like they're slightly outdated. These days, depending on the circles you travel in, there's a lot of cultural capital and fashion savvy required, too.

Not to mention it's tough trying to get the whole "true romance" mindset going here when people look to government agencies for dating initiatives.

Even after all my bitching, it's not actually hard for a guy to be a "man" in Singapore by current standards; if you're a girl who likes being in a committed relationship with someone safe, ready, willing and able to play house with you.

These are generally the sort of people who carry their girlfriends' purses and wear matchy-matchy clothes with their partner. But these aren't the droids I'm looking for, are you?

The sad fact is that many guys here still can't come to terms with gender equality. From experience, the hyper-masculine set still don't take a woman's view seriously. And for the submissive man-wife, the message here is: grow a pair. Don't wait for someone to grow them for you.

[Mathers]

Nah, she just need some good oral sex.

Hey, Miss Ong. Fuck You !

Ok now Miss Ong, your turn

[jacky43]

Ying and Yang.

This article is so text book, the more accurate reports or say, much accurate research would b to survey on overseas women. This are the few groups, first would be overseas spouse, the biggest group, i think it remains as MY ladies. PRC till now, not a force to reckon with.

Girls which came here for study, next those who came seek employment, never ask sex workers. They are looking at Johns so not accurate, i would b suprised they found local men charming, different fr their homeboys who are so political minded. Over seas, if GF want her boy to help with handbag, probably he will loud at her face.

I wonder does ang mo countries assist their handicap? There is a local handicap man who claimed London is more facilities friendly, compare to here, but i watched OKTO being humans. It give me the impression ang mos treat handicap people like super beings.

Ang mo countries can spend tons of $ in making say, wider the roads for wheelchairs then, i don't see why should they assist the person in a wheelchair. He she should b able to take care, being free from normal people help. So? Is that what this local guy in wheelchair really want?

Different systems, wind and water u decide which u want. London or here?

[HumpBackOak]

Originally Posted by tenggiri

Saw this article in yahoo and seems a bit familiear to me, dunno whether anyone reproduced it here before. Anyway the writer is lamenting about how S'pore guys suck cos she has been overseas and seen better!

She says we can't hold a coversation,,wahahaha. Probably been seduced by all the ang-mo mumbo jumbo i say. Tell you what ms Ong : We will listen and talk with you all u want just to get under yr skirt la....hehehe.


By Alexis Ong

Where are all the real Singapore men? Alexis Ong laments the rise of the 'manscaped,' handbag-carrying, conversation-less local male.



Sometimes a friend and I play a little game whose main objective requires us to guess whether androgynous-looking guys are gay or just your garden-variety metrosexual.

It's pretty hard to tell these days, what with tight jeans, "manscaping" and stores that specialize in making the average Singaporean dude look like a lubricated human glowstick.

The most recent objects of our attention were two guys in a restaurant booth next to ours, heads bent over the table, giggling over something on an iPhone, and basically acting like a pair of teenage girls. For healthy, straight girls, I'm going to go ahead and say this kind of sucks.

Sadly, guys like these aren't anomalies in Singapore -- they're the rule.

To be fair, survivors of the post-apocalyptic desert that is the local dating scene might think me unnecessarily harsh, but after a lifetime living overseas, a girl can get pretty accustomed to some good chat. This elusive creature is almost non-existent in Singapore, save for a specific demographic of guys who know how to make a conversation tick.

Even worse, guys here don't really like girls who can. Case in point: at a friend's birthday party, the debate-happy side of me got slightly carried away in a conversation about music, and a guy actually said: "Um ... are you just like this? All the time?"

Uh, yes. It's called talking, and besides being a very telling extension of your personality, the rest of the civilized world seems to think it's a great way of getting to know someone.

The reality of the situation is, guys here just aren't used to dealing with a little spunk. Whether this is because of society's more conservative inclinations or a very Singaporean aversion to healthy conflict, studies have shown that people here are content to marry someone they don't even like.

Retired professor and relationship expert David Olson explained that people here are "afraid to say what they think and are afraid to disagree." A 2005 survey revealed that only 14 percent of Singaporean couples claimed to be "very happy" in their relationships -- within the "unhappy" camp, reasons included disliking a partner's personality or communication problems.

Personally, I blame the men. There are plenty of traditional old Chinese men in my family who just can't compute when it comes to dealing with a modern career-minded woman, much less a woman who speaks her mind..

There are a few perks to shopping at the local guy market. There's still an archaic sense of chivalry here that involves a lot of hand-holding, constant accompaniment, and this weird phenomenon of couples collapsed on each other in public places, as if they're both asleep.

The latter is a particularly fascinating physical example of the tragicomically codependent dynamic that defines many local relationships.

Guys here are either alpha-male dominant and aggressive (hello, CBD business crowd) or totally whipped -- there's hardly a visible demographic in between.

Okay, fine, so it's not exactly easy to be a guy in Singapore. Women expect a lot of you these days ... having your own place, preferably with a car and a couple of credit cards thrown in.

I'm a little hesitant to bring up the 5Cs (condo, career, credit card, car, country club) because I feel like they're slightly outdated. These days, depending on the circles you travel in, there's a lot of cultural capital and fashion savvy required, too.

Not to mention it's tough trying to get the whole "true romance" mindset going here when people look to government agencies for dating initiatives.

Even after all my bitching, it's not actually hard for a guy to be a "man" in Singapore by current standards; if you're a girl who likes being in a committed relationship with someone safe, ready, willing and able to play house with you.

These are generally the sort of people who carry their girlfriends' purses and wear matchy-matchy clothes with their partner. But these aren't the droids I'm looking for, are you?

The sad fact is that many guys here still can't come to terms with gender equality. From experience, the hyper-masculine set still don't take a woman's view seriously. And for the submissive man-wife, the message here is: grow a pair. Don't wait for someone to grow them for you.

I don't disagree with the men being more kuniang nowadays. it happening to every country.

my problem with her is:

alex ong

if u want gender equality, go sign up for 2 years NS, leopard crawl thru mud, serve 10 years ICT cycle.

then come back and talk.

[abugga]

She probably forgot a big point about this issue - herself, personally i don't find singaporean women a turn on at all, yes i'm a true blue singaporean male but i'm just not attracted to local girls, sad to say, yeah you may be a pretty face but i feel not many women in singapore exude style, i've seen a few but not many and i really mean not many. If i'm not attracted to say the least, i wouldn't even bother making the conversation interesting or say, flirt with her. but that's just being me, my sole opinion anyway.

[Ardor]

This one says we're softies, another says we're perverts. I wish they make up their mind what they want us to be

[gilagila100]

Originally Posted by HumpBackOak

I don't disagree with the men being more kuniang nowadays. it happening to every country.

my problem with her is:

alex ong

if u want gender equality, go sign up for 2 years NS, leopard crawl thru mud, serve 10 years ICT cycle.

then come back and talk.

Agree agree ...

Talk like a bitch, u get treated like a bitch !!

[tenggiri]

Originally Posted by Mathers

Nah, she just need some good oral sex.

Hey, Miss Ong. Fuck You !

Ok now Miss Ong, your turn

Relax bro, if u saw how she looks , u might want to change yr mind bout screwing her!

[tenggiri]

Originally Posted by HumpBackOak

I don't disagree with the men being more kuniang nowadays. it happening to every country.

my problem with her is:

alex ong

if u want gender equality, go sign up for 2 years NS, leopard crawl thru mud, serve 10 years ICT cycle.

then come back and talk.

Men will always be 'kuniang' and women bitches. I believe no amount of NS or ICT can change their DNA. Its a well known fact that women from Viet, Thai, and even Phil bitch about their men and prefer to marry outside their country. Now we have our own SPGs. WTF!

[qw2op]

Originally Posted by tenggiri

Relax bro, if u saw how she looks , u might want to change yr mind bout screwing her!

totally agree wif u! ...

[MoralEpitome]

She just hasn't met the alpha men in sbf forum yet! go screw her!

[Lionrod32]

One she has tasted my lionrod ... She will say SG male ... Hard hard long long ... Not soft at all .......

[shitrules]

Singaporean men are not "softies". We are just too nice, and not sure how to package that attractively to a women

[owl888]

Ms. Ong maybe still old "virgin" coz Sg guys she met never get "erected " for her so she called them "softies". May b those Sg guys shd cover her face & bomb her base

[peanut123]

Interesting read, and she has some good points, until she said "Personally, I blame the men", and then her credibility and point about equality went out the window.

If she's serious about equality, then she should also examine herself and other women and see if they share equal blame ( the fact is that they do share the blame : it takes 2 hands to clap ).

Many girls in Singapore prefer to be pampered and chauffeured around, and whose range of conversations is limited to shopping, food, cooking, and fashion. Rarely would you find an independent, knowledgeable girl who can hold a proper conversation. Often enough, you just need to bring up a major current affairs topic ( eg, the situation in the middle east, or earthquake in NZ ), and you'll get a bank stare from a pair of womanly eyes. Why just blame men when Sg women are equally hopeless ?

As a side note, I do agree that most Singaporean men ( and women ) are hopeless conversationalists. Guys tend to talk about property, work, football, and other really boring stuff. Girls talk about fashion, family, kids, maids, shopping, and other really boring stuff too. It's hard to find a Singaporean, guy or girl, who can hold a conversation about current affairs, general knowledge, politics, etc.

But she's right about Singaporean men being pushovers. That's why they get bullied by their wives, foreign talent colleagues and even FLs.