Marriage that turns Sour

saint_1979 · #1 03-09-2011, 08:13 AM

Hi Bros & Sis,

Recently, I have found out that my sis-in-law has filed for separation with my bro. From my understanding, she was the one that initiated the separation.
She told us that she no longer loved him. They had no children.

My bro had treated her very nice; accommodating her to hv bathtube in the house, bringing her to short trips whenever she wants & share the car instalment even though she used the car for her own use.
My family has also treated her nicely even though afer marriage she never visited us (even during CNY).

I want to find out the reason why she wanted to initiate the separation.
I will like to seek your advices if you have any recommendation of PI and how much does it cost and how it works.

Appreciation your assistance.

sexrookie · #2 03-09-2011, 08:28 AM

I am sitting on the fence and don not take sides.

This is what I feel. I will addres them as "Male" and "Female"

Only both of then know the problem behind this separation.

It does not mean that the person regardless Male or Female initiating the separation is the cause to this whole saga.

You want to have a PI to check then do both not just one parties.

The feedback from you gives me a vision that you are taking the fact that female party is in the wrong.

How would you know if the male is not a sammyboy member and fool around outside and been discover.

THere a may Male in this forum are good Male at home but do some extra "ECA"

TS, R U married or have a GF ?

Always think out of the box not inside the box.

regards

saint_1979 · #3 03-09-2011, 08:44 AM

Nope, still single

sexrookie · #4 03-09-2011, 09:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by saint_1979

Nope, still single

Maybe that is why you have not reach to a level to see things at all different angle.

Joe987 · #5 03-09-2011, 09:20 AM

agree. we should not take judgemental assumption regarding things. you should take a step back and look at the whole picture bro

see see only · #6 03-09-2011, 10:50 AM

TS,

Can't comment much about your brother's r/s ....

However when you start your r/s with anyone else next time .... remember love is not just giving and expecting return

Nevertheless you have mentioned that your brother given this and that ... yet your going to be ex-sister in-law file a seperation ....

Seem like she married your brother for "reasons" and i strongly believe these "reasons" are no longer attractive to her anymore or maybe she met another man with a much better qualities on the similar "reasons" ....

So young man when you go into a r/s next time and the girl says she like you for your look, for your humour, for your car or this and that .... you better think twice .... However if a girl said she dont know why she likes you and she just likes you .... SHE IS GIRL who will like you for whatever you are

(but of course you must like her as well

)

Ichigo_Kurosaki · #7 03-09-2011, 04:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by saint_1979

........I want to find out the reason why she wanted to initiate the separation.

Hi Bro saint_1979,

As unlike during our parents or our grandparents days, when people got married, it was a lifetime commitment they made. Times were much harder then and despite how life thrown at them, no matter how rich or poor, how sick or healthy, divorce was almost unheard of, cos they worked their problems out together and they stayed together until death parted them. ….....Nowadays when people got married, I am sure they too, made a lifetime commitment to one another. (At least that was their attitude of heart at the time of the wedding) but in the course of their marriages, they drifted apart for millions of reasons known only to themselves.

The fact is that there are few marriages where one person is totally at fault when it fails. It's the same old story of “It takes 2 to tango” and when 2 people were involved in a bad situation, both must be responsible and should accept their own culpability. The sad truth is that we, humans often seem attracted to noticing the faults of others and like a blind horse, we only see the faults of others and are completely unable to see how we affected those faults by our own actions or inactions. Sometimes we are obsessed with noticing bad things of a bad relationship rather than remembering all the good things that we have done and the reason why we got involved in the 1st place!.

Given your case, it is absolutely out of anybody hands (especially a bystander) once the word “DIVORCE” entered her mind cos she is convinced that she couldn't possibly be happy with “your brother” anymore and using divorce as a way out of her marital problems and sometimes the truth hurts more than lies in a fail marriage.

Realistically end of day, what really means something is the bottom line - Is it going to be more financially advantageous or disastrous if getting divorce?

Cheers, IK

drekman · #8 03-09-2011, 04:11 PM

For me i will not give her a single cents. Blame the man for spoiling woman or girls.

seowlang · #9 03-09-2011, 10:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by saint_1979

Hi Bros & Sis,
My bro had treated her very nice; accommodating her to hv bathtube in the house, bringing her to short trips whenever she wants & share the car instalment even though she used the car for her own use.
My family has also treated her nicely even though afer marriage she never visited us (even during CNY).

bro, its way to hard for anyone in the forum to help u.. like what an earlier bro said, only the 2 of them can answer for it. what you have listed above are all material needs.

smartke · #10 03-09-2011, 11:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by saint_1979

..........

I will like to seek your advices if you have any recommendation of PI and how much does it cost and how it works.

Appreciation your assistance.

bro, me also interested to know how the PI thingy works & the costs & thot since u asked, can get some ans here.

anyway, me will try to find out. if managed to get the info, will try to share wif u ok?

cheers...

Golden question · #11 04-09-2011, 12:14 AM

nowadys,divorce is a norm thing for sg couple.for the past 2 year,i know of 2 friend cases already

Greatking · #12 04-09-2011, 07:54 AM

you only hear from your bro's side story. You haven't even went to stage two which is confronting your sis in law yet. Don't judge to the the stage three (PI) and as the forum suggest, this is a matter of hearts. So, let them solve it.. Sometime in love, you know it is foolish, but you still go into it. So, third party better not step in ar

applerice · #13 04-09-2011, 02:24 PM

Hi, why do u need to find out the reasons of the separation?? Why can't you just leave it to the couple to handle themselves?

As a 3rd party what can u do if you found out the real reason behind the divorce? To prove yourself that your brother is a great guy???

If both of them agreed to the divorce arrangement and things can settle amicably between two of them, there is no need to publish or letting anyone know why or what make them to end the marriage..

As you said their marriage already turned sour.. Why is there a need for you a brother / brother in law to prove who is at fault?

Sometimes two individuals do not need to be husband and wife to be the soulmate of each another..

Why not just leave it to the couple to handle themselves??

Quote:

Originally Posted by saint_1979

Hi Bros & Sis,

Recently, I have found out that my sis-in-law has filed for separation with my bro. From my understanding, she was the one that initiated the separation.
She told us that she no longer loved him. They had no children.

My bro had treated her very nice; accommodating her to hv bathtube in the house, bringing her to short trips whenever she wants & share the car instalment even though she used the car for her own use.
My family has also treated her nicely even though afer marriage she never visited us (even during CNY).

I want to find out the reason why she wanted to initiate the separation.
I will like to seek your advices if you have any recommendation of PI and how much does it cost and how it works.

Appreciation your assistance.

swakoo1409 · #14 04-09-2011, 03:47 PM

I don't know any lobangs for PI personally.

But I see advertisements on the taxis before. It was a website address with cheating spouse or something.

If I remember correctly.

As what other bros have shared. Do look at the issue with different angles. Maybe something wrong with your brother in the relationship.

Better to let the couple settle their own problems. Stay out of it.

I suggest you talk to your brother first if you really so interested in knowing.

see see only · #15 04-09-2011, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ichigo_Kurosaki

Hi Bro saint_1979,

As unlike during our parents or our grandparents days, when people got married, ............

Realistically end of day, what really means something is the bottom line - Is it going to be more financially advantageous or disastrous if getting divorce?

Cheers, IK

Bro IK,

Almost have to agree with you 100% but some more to add on ...

Long long time ago, there is only one decision maker who is the man

so women listen and LL, can't & no one to complain to after all ....

Partly gonna blame it to those who fought hard for the equality for women as well ... now in the modern days as 2 parties started to made decision for 1 household, differences, increase in expectation and disagreement will naturally results in more cases of divorce ..... of course not forgeting, there is more means of meeting the other gender that provided the another channel to compare and stray .... etc

But TS, we human will get used to this and eventually rules may be changed again to accommodate this as well .... as for ourselves now, just live our life to the fullest ... and wish your brother well, no need to get PI or whatever