Guilty like hell...

[jdean81]

hi to all the bros here,

I'm a newbie to the bonking scene and had my first experience last night. Now i'm feeling guilty like hell and hope to get some listening ears here so i can feel a little better.

Last night my best friend broke up with his gf and he asked me out to drink beer. We then went down to Lip Disco in Geylang to have a drink. After some beer, we were a little light headed, went to 7-11 to buy Okamoto Ultra Light and went to walk around L8-L18 to look at ladies.

In a moment of lust and without using my brains, I walked into L18, H38 and saw this really hot Thai girl with big @@ (Girl no. 7 for those interested ) She was extremely friendly and even let me take a bite on snack she was eating. We showered together for hygiene purposes and she even offered Listerine to me to wash my mouth (i requested her to do it also).

Both of us went up the bed, we kissed a little bit and she lie there and ask me to lick her (she says she finds me good looking and wants me to lick her...say not everyone can do it, she only allow certain people she likes to lick) In a spur of moment (but still a little sane), I licked her a bit with the tip of my tongue (no latex protection on her) and fingered her at the same time. After that, she helped me put on my Okamoto Ultra Thin (now a little scared that she accidentally tore it when she use her nails to put on the condom for me) and gave me a blowjob. Later she put some lubricant on her pussy and i went on to bonk her a few times in a few different positions. Finally i came and I washed up and left to meet my friend at Shell.

Now that i woke up, i'm feeling guilty as hell. I'm worried i might contract some bloody STD from:

1. the little bit of licking that i gave her.
2. the Okamoto condom that might have a little hole (i'm not sure whether got tear with her nails when she put it on me)
3. the kissing and,
4. the snack that she was eating and she let me take a bite.

i have a gf that i love a lot whom i have a very healthy sex life with. Now, i feel guilty like hell because i know i cannot reverse time and undo what i have done. I already feel the strain of what i have done and it's causing me to keep thinking whether i might have contracted HIV from this one experience. I dare not have sex with my gf now 'cause i'm afraid that i will pass some virus to her. And this is going to be a serious problem because we both have sex very regularly. I'm feeling really, really upset and depressed right now

samster bros, what should i do? go for testing?

[daneman]

Bro,
I understand what you're going through. Just read through my experience:
http://forum.sammyboy.com/showthread.php?t=41176

I am also waiting for the window period to end to take a test. For your risk, as i have researched extensively for my case, i can try and give my take:
(1) Case 1: Sharing food
No risk at all. HIV is not spread by casual contact like what you mentioned. Unless, the WL was bleeding all over the food you were eating and you had open wounds on your mouth
(2) Case 2: Oral on her
Low risk...however the risk increases if there are open wounds in your mouth and her bodily fluid (blood or vaginal fluid) gets in touch with it
(3) Case 3: Broken / torn condom
If indeed, the condom was torn, then there may be a risk as it would be the same as unprotected sex. However, don't freak out as you do not know for certain if it was torn.
(4) Case 4: Kissing
If close mouth kissing, no risk. If french kissing, if there are open wounds in both of your mouth, then there is a risk.

For now, just keep your mind occupied and wait for the first month to pass, take a test and have a conclusive one taken at 3 months.

[jdean81]

Originally Posted by daneman

Bro,
I understand what you're going through. Just read through my experience:
http://forum.sammyboy.com/showthread.php?t=41176

Thanks so much daneman bro, your answer reassure me a lot more...today i totally couldn't concentrate on my work...i was so scared to even kiss my gf...this is too much for my emotional health...

I don't have any open cuts in my mouth and i only have close mouth kissing..the food should be safe based on what i read so far..as long as i have no cuts in my mouth i should be safe...

the most worrying part is the licking portion...i scared i might get some bloody disease from her vaginal fluids into my body...although i got no cuts in my mouth, what are the odds of getting any virus from the lick job?

Condom i think should not have broken (Okamoto Ultra Thin should be quite tough right?) I got take a visible look at the condom before i dispose it to make sure there's no big tear but i had alcohol before the bonk so i might have missed out the smaller holes...

For the senior bros out there, besides the DSC anonymous testing, do u take other tests to verify you are 100% clean? I want to make sure i am 100% clean...HIV test must wait 3 months but possible i take the other tests earlier to at least make myself feel better by 50%? daneman bro, are you taking other tests or u taken already? can give some guidance to me? really appreciate your help.

Hope the bros can help a very depressed fellow bro here...first time i feel so depressed...my A levels results fark up also not so depressed

[poison]

hi bro, i supposed u need to tolerate the whole month and if there is nothing wrong, put the whole issue behind and just be truly to your gf. both of u lead a healthy sex life, i think better be safe than sorry.

[daneman]

Originally Posted by jdean81

...the most worrying part is the licking portion...i scared i might get some bloody disease from her vaginal fluids into my body...although i got no cuts in my mouth, what are the odds of getting any virus from the lick job?... but i had alcohol before the bonk so i might have missed out the smaller holes...

Bro,
Cheer up....for the licking portion, as long as there are no cuts / ulcers on your tongue / lips, the risk is low. However, there are other STDs that may be contracted...so the next time you do want to lick the WL, use a gladwrap or oral dam. For the condom, don't worry i heard that the brand of condom is quite reliable so should not have any tears. but please a word of caution, please do not take any alcohol before bonking...it can impair your judgement. In addition, can i recommend a few sites to help you lower your stress levels. They offer quite good advice:

(1) http://www.thebody.com
A fav among bros here
(2) http://www.dsc-sexualhealth.com
A local DSC website...again a good source for info
(3) http://www.aidsmeds.com/fusetalk
A forum where counsellors give their advice

Trust me....i know how you feel. I am going through the same thing as you...i did not even dare to do my 1 month test for fear of the result. My word of advice to you is...if you experience some discomfort when urinating or experience discharge from your penis, go to DSC for a checkup. However, also noted that some STDs have so slight symptoms that you do not notice it. It is up to you as to which STDs to check for now. But at 3 months, HIV, syphllis and, Hep B are recommended. From what i researched and advice...my HJ does not warrant a test. But believe me...i know how you feel. Take care and don't neglect your GF...kissing, closed lips does not transmit the HIV virus...sex wise...its up to you. Cheer up. If you need further advice, PM me, ok. Relax or the stress will get you ill.

[weert]

relax... really. in the meantime, treat this experience as one which you realise how much you love your gf for.

another bro here for you to confide in if u need a listening ear. PM me.

[daneman]

Bro jdean81,
See...there are many bros here for you to get advice for. There are many of us whom have gone through the same situation as you...some worse. Keep visiting us at this forum, and share the fears, joys, FR, etc. On a serious note, if you really value your GF, may i suggest cutting down on the cheonging sessions. That way, you get less worried, and the anxiety level will decrease. Still, visit the SBF, but PCC when you read the FRs.

[superfreak]

bro jdane,

tip for u is to just PCC as often as u feel urge/necasary, its healthy, cheap, and feels qutie shiok..... sometimes i got urge to go HC damn bad... the urge is so strong.. but once i PCC, i always feel damn heng that i PCC instead of HC.

When u are super horny that time, u often think "wah so horny, shack the girl confirm super shiok, worth the risk of STD"


but then after u cum, u go home, if u the kiasee type, all te paranoi thing come out,u scared HIV, u scared condom tear, coz u remember she poke the condom a bit with nail...

then u scare coz u lick, maybe kena STD/HIV, etc...

then u everyday depress and dunno wat to do, think life no meaning liao, etc, and must also tahan 3 mths b4 go doctor for HIV test.

Some bros here dun care, they just chiong, and enjoy for the moment, for them it is thier choice, so they must accept concequences,

but for the more kiasee type, i suggest u total avoid, and just PCC..

pcc is not as shiok as with real woman, but in the end, u get the same relief of horni...

every single tiem i got super urge to HC, i think to myself how shiok if go HC and enjoy....

but i have start to train myself to see porno and PCC no matter wat. and every time after i cum from PCC, i feel damn relief that i luckily never go HC....

save money, save stress, save time.

then if ur GF is faithful to each other, u can sex with GF as much as u want no worry of HIV STD etc.

[jdean81]

Originally Posted by daneman

Bro jdean81,
See...there are many bros here for you to get advice for. There are many of us whom have gone through the same situation as you...some worse. Keep visiting us at this forum, and share the fears, joys, FR, etc. On a serious note, if you really value your GF, may i suggest cutting down on the cheonging sessions. That way, you get less worried, and the anxiety level will decrease. Still, visit the SBF, but PCC when you read the FRs.

Thanks daneman bro right now, i'm feeling slightly better but i will not be 100% relieved until i take all the STD and HIV tests.

btw, any idea how long should i wait before i go for STD tests such as syphillis, hep b etc.?

[jdean81]

Originally Posted by weert

relax... really. in the meantime, treat this experience as one which you realise how much you love your gf for.

another bro here for you to confide in if u need a listening ear. PM me.

thanks weert bro! you're a good man...really glad to hear your words of support...thanks...

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by jdean81

Thanks daneman bro right now, i'm feeling slightly better but i will not be 100% relieved until i take all the STD and HIV tests.

btw, any idea how long should i wait before i go for STD tests such as syphillis, hep b etc.?

You can't test for ALL STDs... only the common ones.

Do a search on the net for more details.

[daneman]

Originally Posted by jdean81

btw, any idea how long should i wait before i go for STD tests such as syphillis, hep b etc.?

Bro...sometimes the tests are only taken based on appearance such as herpes and warts. Other STDs such as NGU if you are suffering symptoms such as discomfort when urinating and penil discharge...if you're KS, you can take the tests for NGU, chyliama (Spelling?) now. For HIV, syphllis, HEP B, need to wait for 3 months for conclusive testing. May i advice you to visit DSC, ask the dr, and see what he recommends...or if you prefer pte drs, also can...recently got one thread about GPs that bros recommend..go and have a look. Good luck!

[lurpsexx]

Originally Posted by jdean81

Thanks so much daneman bro, your answer reassure me a lot more...today i totally couldn't concentrate on my work...i was so scared to even kiss my gf...this is too much for my emotional health...

Ha haha Ha.... just get on with life la..!

I don't have any open cuts in my mouth and i only have close mouth kissing..the food should be safe based on what i read so far..as long as i have no cuts in my mouth i should be safe...

Lagi Ha ha ha... you mean her saliva can give u HIV, AIDS, STDs?? Very minimal risk la...hiaz...all the inconclusive stmts fr the med people just serves to drive people paranoid!

the most worrying part is the licking portion...i scared i might get some bloody disease from her vaginal fluids into my body...although i got no cuts in my mouth, what are the odds of getting any virus from the lick job?

Next time at 7-11 , ask if they sell tongue condoms too! hiak hiak hiak! Or u can use 1 of the 2 remaining CDs and cap your tongue next time lor!

Condom i think should not have broken (Okamoto Ultra Thin should be quite tough right?) I got take a visible look at the condom before i dispose it to make sure there's no big tear but i had alcohol before the bonk so i might have missed out the smaller holes...

Bro, if CD had holes, u also cannot see with sober eyes la... the STD and HIV virus so small they no need pin pricks also can enter the CD liao...

For the senior bros out there, besides the DSC anonymous testing, do u take other tests to verify you are 100% clean? I want to make sure i am 100% clean...HIV test must wait 3 months but possible i take the other tests earlier to at least make myself feel better by 50%? daneman bro, are you taking other tests or u taken already? can give some guidance to me? really appreciate your help.

If u really so worried, goto DSC and test urself for all lor!

Hope the bros can help a very depressed fellow bro here...first time i feel so depressed...my A levels results fark up also not so depressed

True, true,A levels fucked up n nowhere to go also damn stressed like this episode...

Bro, FYI, the pooyings in the licensed houses all under go med checks regularly... its part of their contracts with the SG govt... if they are tested positive for STD, HIV/AIDS, they r sent back immediately....furthermore, they are more scared to get these shit fr cust, than u are to get some thing fr them!

Relax la! If u are so scared shitless, I advise u next time dun even go near GL la... or else just play smart and u'll enjoy the ride... Pls hor, dun use 2 condoms simultaneously next time.. they will definitely tear and u'll be worse off!! if this time u are okie, just learn and get on with life lor...

[spermmann2003]

Amazing... but i am pretty sure you went for second and third time liao, since you last posted. Sounds exactly like the way i was when i had my first commercial bonk, guilty like fuck, but went back for more fuck.

Welcome to sammyboy, dude

[gyaradoz]

Originally Posted by lurpsexx

Bro, FYI, the pooyings in the licensed houses all under go med checks regularly... its part of their contracts with the SG govt... if they are tested positive for STD, HIV/AIDS, they r sent back immediately....furthermore, they are more scared to get these shit fr cust, than u are to get some thing fr them!

Relax la! If u are so scared shitless, I advise u next time dun even go near GL la... or else just play smart and u'll enjoy the ride... Pls hor, dun use 2 condoms simultaneously next time.. they will definitely tear and u'll be worse off!! if this time u are okie, just learn and get on with life lor...

huh?

Wear 2 condoms suppose to be safer right?

first time I see that wearing 2 condoms increase danger lehz....