Very scared and repentant...

#1 12-10-2005, 10:04 AM

Hi guys,
I'm a first time poster here. I'm having a horrible feeling now, please help me out.

I just went to Malaysia for a business trip and visited the HC in Cititel MidValley last night. I had a girl called Eve there and we had protected FJ but unprotected BJ. This is my first time ever going to a sex worker and this is just because I was very curious and a bit lonely. So right after the deed, I immediately felt a huge regret and began to worry extremely about STDs and such. That night was one of the worst night of my life and it was definitely the most stupid act I've ever done in my whole life.

So I guess part of my question is does anyone themselves or know anyone who contracted STDs the first time they go to a sex worker? Does anyone know the safety rate of the girls at Cititel? Has anyone contracted any diseases there before?

I'm feeling physically ok right now but my mind is playing tricks on me and suggesting that I have a sore feeling in my genital areas. Every small itch I feel on my body makes me feel so terrified.

This is definitely the first and only last time I'd ever do this. I'm very repentant and sorry now.

Please help me ease my fears.

Thanks.

sammyboyfor · #2 12-10-2005, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by worriedandsorry

This is definitely the first and only last time I'd ever do this. I'm very repentant and sorry now.

Please help me ease my fears.

Thanks.

There's no point lying to you and telling you that your risk of catching something is zero.

However, you should be comforted by the fact that your risk of HIV from a single encounter involving unprotected oral sex is very low.

That's not the case for other STDs though. There is already loads of info on this subject in earlier threads. eg http://sbfonline.site/showthread.php?t=30129

Do a search for "BBBJ" in this section. I'm pretty sure there are quite a number of threads on this subject.

There is no way that anyone can rate the safety levels of each girl or each location. ALL the girls pose a risk as they have sex with hundreds of men each month. Some may be more careful than others but at the end of the day, it boils down to the luck of the draw. Nobody knows when a condom is going to break or a girl is about to have a herpes outbreak.

sammyboyfor · #3 12-10-2005, 03:16 PM

Here's another good thread on the subject of unprotected oral sex.

http://sbfonline.site/showthread.php?t=4310

#4 12-10-2005, 03:22 PM

Hi Sammy,
Thanks for the reply. I did more reading in the forums and I feel a bit better after reading some stories of other first timers who went through a severe guilt trip like me.

I guess I would also like to hear more from other other first-timers and whether or not *gulp* anyone caught anything on their first time.

Man, I was really really stupid. I don't have anyone else to talk to since I'm so damn guilty about all this, so thanks for lending your ears.

daneman · #5 12-10-2005, 04:10 PM

Hi bro,
I agree with what boss has said. The risk of you contracting HIV from a single unprotected oral sex encounter is very low. Besides info given on this website, may i also suggest you also go to these websites for more info:
(1) http://www.thebody.com
(2) http://www.medhelp.org

Do a search and i am sure you will get lots of info on the risk of oral sex. In addition, i would advise you to go to DSC for a checkup if you notice any discomfort when urinating, penil discharge or sores in the coming days / weeks. If you really are freaking out, you can go for a test at AfA in about a month time and another one in 3 month's time. Take care!

#6 13-10-2005, 06:29 AM

Thanks Daneman, I'm still trying very hard to not worry about it. Right now it is 6am in the morning and I can't sleep - I'm having a bout of panic attacks (white flashes, prickly fingers/toes and chest tightening) I realize now that I'm a weak person and also a big coward.

The thing is I also have a significant other that I actually really love dearly. So I've betrayed her trust and the guilt is very deep and real. I really can't imagine what I just did, man. The thought of me catching some STDs and even remotely passing it on to her makes me want to die. I dunno lah, like I said, I'm a coward and also paranoid.

Yes I know I so drama and chicken one, but this are real feelings that I'm having and for the first time in my life I'm looking at terror and fear in its face. The only thing I can do now to make myself feel better is to express myself in this forum cause I don't know where to turn to. So hopefully I can find support here...

Well one ironic thing is that it was a girl called Eve that finally tempted me into this. Kind of Biblical in a way right.... heh.

Cheers.

daneman · #7 13-10-2005, 04:40 PM

Bro,
You need to relax. I agree very low risk is not no risk. BUT it is unlikely that you contracted anything deadly from this episode. For now, to be 100% sure, you can go for a full STD screen at DSC in about a week's time. That will give you some assurance. The doctors and health advisors there have more medical knowledge and risk assessment ability than all of us here. You may get valuable advice. In about a month's time, go for AfA testing, results are ready in about 15 - 20 mins time, so less anxiety for you. In 3 months, go for a conclusive test and one test for VDRL and Hep B. Actually, i would be more worried about the STDs than HIV. However, for most of these STDs, fortunately, when you detect it early, the ability to cure it is higher. I sympatise with you and know that the next 3 months or so will be worrying and stressful, but you just have to engage yourself in other activities. Time will pass faster then. Wishing you all the best!

sammyboyfor · #8 13-10-2005, 04:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by worriedandsorry

The thing is I also have a significant other that I actually really love dearly. So I've betrayed her trust and the guilt is very deep and real. I really can't imagine what I just did, man. The thought of me catching some STDs and even remotely passing it on to her makes me want to die. I dunno lah, like I said, I'm a coward and also paranoid.

Everyone cheats on their loved one. It's the most common thing in the whole wide world regardless of culture.

Don't sweat the small stuff.

spidey2278 · #9 13-10-2005, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sammyboyfor

Everyone cheats on their loved one. It's the most common thing in the whole wide world regardless of culture.

Don't sweat the small stuff.

Have to admit that your statement is almost right..guess that 95% of male ard the world will cheat on their love ones...the other 5%..either they are gay or monks lor..hmmmm...does that means we all most likely wun get to see heaven lidat!

JJjumper · #10 13-10-2005, 08:15 PM

hello worried and sorry,

dont worry, i gone thru this before more that 10 yrs back, same senario, with wl at plaza hotel, last time got one massage joint at the annexe bldg which have the wl bath you one. i had similar experience and worst, the bj i think was done on me after the wl had her dinner and malay girl so like to take chilli, wah pian after bj i could feel my dick, have burning sensation, after fj, i had this sorry feeling and was in a state of "depression" worried sick, with all the wild imagination of aids etc.

at night could not sleep also and had many night of cold sweat. I was also not prepared to go check up and had to suffer this fate for a few months or even years with this fear, and not cheong for some time. it was only a few years back that after i had one medical check up that they confirm i had no VD. If i can advise you I would tell you to stay away from these activities though i myseld have not been able to. each time such situation arise and fear set in, it is quite a depressing experience.

Anyway dont worry too much as you had said you had protected sex, unless you are so suay, you kenna jackpot. not likely lah, relax ok.

cheers

rudy · #11 13-10-2005, 10:36 PM

Hi worriedandsorry,
Most addictions begin with some feeling of guilt, and often unpleasantness. I remember my 1st smoke, my 1st drink of whisky and stout, my 1st time with a hooker etc.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and I'd be willing to bet good money that you'll probably be OK. The odds of you getting some STD from a one time BBBJ are pretty small.

Question is what you take away from the feelings you're experiencing now - you could internalise the lesson and never cheat on your significant other again, or you could go back to visiting FLs/Masseuses etc but be disciplined and take correct precautions everytime, or you could succumb to temptation and let your habit grow exponentially.

Over time, as you get into the habit, the basics start to feel dull and there's always the temptation to try more - what're other races like? What's it like with 2 gals at one time? What's anal like? It'd be nice to CIM, ride bareback, cum in a WL's pussy etc etc. Most heroin users start with gateway drugs like marijuana or ecstacy - rarely do people jump into heroin right away. And all of us know that sex is hell of an addiction. The human race would've been extinct by now if it wasn't, and we all wouldn't be here in this neat forum.

I've been through it myself, several cycles actually. Like with most addictions, its terribly hard to get out once you're in. I'd advise you to look elsewhere than this forum for solace. You shouldn't be seeking absolution from fellow sinners and addicts - especially when most here have done much much more than you. Continuing to surf and browse in here is like a former alcoholic hanging out at his favourite bar and trying to drink coke while everyone else is guzzling whiskey and gin. Not a good way to manage an addiction...

Sorin^^ · #12 13-10-2005, 10:52 PM

Hi Bro Rudy and other Bros here,

Yah true, the first time is always very painful and full of fears... It does make u stronger, and make u wana quit. Its a matter of self-discipline. I have indulged in commericial sex recently, after a 2 yr refraining from goin gl. Cos lonely n no gf. But nevertheless, i am now trying n hoping to stop from goin now. enuff is enuff. hope to stop once n for all...there are other things better to live for.

Dear Bro worriedandsad, dun be sad. last time we oso like tat, first time kancheong. If protected then shd be fine. Dun worry, ur chances of stds is low lah. But bbbj can be stds prone. so practise safe fj n bj next time. can tll the WL to cap first.

If u r worried, then can go dsc to check. i goin for afa check up soon.

Best Rgds
Sorin^^

[SOG] · #13 15-10-2005, 09:35 PM

hm, i agree that the probability of contracting HIV is relatively low from one encounter (bbbj). yes, its true.

the probability is low.

but it is very possible.

you dont know if shes positive or not, you dont know if she had ulcers or not, you dont know if she had cuts in her mouth or the last guy who might have been positive she sucked five mins ago came into her mouth.

the possibilities and endless. should have used a condom bro.

im not trying to scare you but if you have to i suggest you use a cap man

lukas · #14 21-10-2005, 11:21 PM

im scare to for STD and HIV but few day ago do a blood test on both of STD & HIV result come out few day and it Negative...quite happy but will do one more test to double confrim better...cos that time go GL got unprotection BJ

btw i do the blood test on my pte doc

#15 24-10-2005, 01:42 AM

Hi guys,
Thanks for the words of support. It's been about 12 days since the damn stupid incident and I think I feel ok.

I did have a lot of anxiety-related stuff like cold sweats, tingling sensations on my feet, hands and groin and slight itchiness in the groin. There's some reaaaly small and minor red dots on my penis but I could be imagining things too. They sort of come and go. Did anyone else feel like this when you feel guilty for the first time too? I'm scared of Herpes more than anything. Fuck! I'm going for a test about 20 days after the incident - do you think this is too early to detect Herpes?

I'm typing this as I'm looking at my spouse sleeping and I swear I will never do anything this stupid again.

Thanks