Am I toyed by her? Or Am i stupid to love her? Or Am I really loving her?

[Froggy1234]

To all bros and sis here in this forum, I am really very confused and do not know what to do next.

I am a married man with a virtue wife who really love me and believe in me in everything and anything that I do and give to the family. I have a lovely son who is 3.5years old now, he is so clever and smart and is always the apple in our both eyes. He is so smart he could speaks 15 different countries languages in their alphabets and simple single words. All these was my last 5 years of marriage that gave me since 2009 - 2013 May. All was good and all was well. But there is a problem in my marriage too, and it is because of no intimacy act and no communication since my boy was born in 2011. My wife starts to because of work and taking care of my new born, has not been talking to me. And because of my snoring issue, we have been sleeping in separate room after married for few months. So, we have actually not sleeping together since then till even now.

All hell changes and begin in May last year, I have fallen to a gal younger than my by 17years. We met each other and knew each other in School. I have found her very attractive and she has the elegant and confident side that attracted me. I get to be in the same class with her and we get to know each other more by doing group project. Slowly, I have found out that I fallen for her and because she is going through a breakup just recently, I did not express to her till she is totally given up her ex-boyfriend.

In the beginning, she still have doubt why I have fallen for her and I am a married man with a son. I have told her my marriage problem and she is really a good listener. And when we went to our first trip to Genting, initially is planned to go in a group till later two persons cannot go, and we go ahead as planned. When we drove up, we are just like friends and everything is just so enjoying. I really missed that moment. And when we reach the hotel and check-in, we went around and just enjoy the day, she has never really know how casino looks like and I am a regular, I show her around. I have been always very mind people sitting beside me when I gamble, but that day when she is with me, I really enjoy her presence. And also knowing she is unwell, I quickly stop and go back to the room and rest. And this is what happen next that we have intimacy. I have rejected her 5 times because I do not want her to regret since she knew I am married and we might lead to nowhere. But she say no regret, and we have our first intimacy that night. And it is also there and then, all my feelings really flows out to her. But I never show it out because I am so afraid, at that point of time, I could not give her anything. I am not looking for fling, if I want, I could just pay without any string attached. After that, I do really feel dirty and guilt because, I have cheated on my wife.

[happywoody]

what's done is done bro.

you will have to live with the guilt.
there's a good chance you may not have custody of your boy if you divorce.

however, your younger friend is really filling your void that u obviously miss from your wife.

bitter sweet - enjoy it or end it. good luck.

[demonhunter]

Becareful of her , firstly she said she is not feeling well .

Then both of you still can fuck in hotel room .

I think theres more than meets the eye (of the one eye snake)

You should pass her contacts to me , I check her out for you .

[ColdBlood99]

Originally Posted by Froggy1234

To all bros and sis here in this forum, I am really very confused and do not know what to do next.

I am a married man with a virtue wife who really love me and believe in me in everything and anything that I do and give to the family. I have a lovely son who is 3.5years old now, he is so clever and smart and is always the apple in our both eyes. He is so smart he could speaks 15 different countries languages in their alphabets and simple single words. All these was my last 5 years of marriage that gave me since 2009 - 2013 May. All was good and all was well. But there is a problem in my marriage too, and it is because of no intimacy act and no communication since my boy was born in 2011. My wife starts to because of work and taking care of my new born, has not been talking to me. And because of my snoring issue, we have been sleeping in separate room after married for few months. So, we have actually not sleeping together since then till even now.

All hell changes and begin in May last year, I have fallen to a gal younger than my by 17years. We met each other and knew each other in School. I have found her very attractive and she has the elegant and confident side that attracted me. I get to be in the same class with her and we get to know each other more by doing group project. Slowly, I have found out that I fallen for her and because she is going through a breakup just recently, I did not express to her till she is totally given up her ex-boyfriend.

In the beginning, she still have doubt why I have fallen for her and I am a married man with a son. I have told her my marriage problem and she is really a good listener. And when we went to our first trip to Genting, initially is planned to go in a group till later two persons cannot go, and we go ahead as planned. When we drove up, we are just like friends and everything is just so enjoying. I really missed that moment. And when we reach the hotel and check-in, we went around and just enjoy the day, she has never really know how casino looks like and I am a regular, I show her around. I have been always very mind people sitting beside me when I gamble, but that day when she is with me, I really enjoy her presence. And also knowing she is unwell, I quickly stop and go back to the room and rest. And this is what happen next that we have intimacy. I have rejected her 5 times because I do not want her to regret since she knew I am married and we might lead to nowhere. But she say no regret, and we have our first intimacy that night. And it is also there and then, all my feelings really flows out to her. But I never show it out because I am so afraid, at that point of time, I could not give her anything. I am not looking for fling, if I want, I could just pay without any string attached. After that, I do really feel dirty and guilt because, I have cheated on my wife.

you seem to be a good guy, stop contacting the young little gal before is too late. you can solve your snoring problem via using breath right. go Watson and buy it.

maybe sit down and talk to your wife, discuss about it and I believe she will understand.

[HappyOwl]

Originally Posted by Froggy1234

And when we went to our first trip to Genting, initially is planned to go in a group till later two persons cannot go, and we go ahead as planned. When we drove up, we are just like friends and everything is just so enjoying. I really missed that moment. And when we reach the hotel and check-in, we went around and just enjoy the day, she has never really know how casino looks like and I am a regular, I show her around. I have been always very mind people sitting beside me when I gamble, but that day when she is with me, I really enjoy her presence. And also knowing she is unwell, I quickly stop and go back to the room and rest. And this is what happen next that we have intimacy. I have rejected her 5 times because I do not want her to regret since she knew I am married and we might lead to nowhere. But she say no regret, and we have our first intimacy that night. And it is also there and then, all my feelings really flows out to her. But I never show it out because I am so afraid, at that point of time, I could not give her anything. I am not looking for fling, if I want, I could just pay without any string attached. After that, I do really feel dirty and guilt because, I have cheated on my wife.

Bro. Froggy1234, I can't believe this exact thing that happens to you almost happened to me 5 years ago.

It was initially planned to go in a group. Genting too! This tiny group knew what was between me & her at that time. When it was coming to the date, it was only left the two of us. She was married with kids & she knew what's in it for us. For me, I knew what was going to happen to us & I will lose myself in this adventure. I cancelled the trip. (no comparison here. we probably are looking at 2 different kind of women)

Originally Posted by Froggy1234

To all bros and sis here in this forum, I am really very confused and do not know what to do next.

I am a married man with a virtue wife who really love me and believe in me in everything and anything that I do and give to the family. I have a lovely son who is 3.5years old now, he is so clever and smart and is always the apple in our both eyes. He is so smart he could speaks 15 different countries languages in their alphabets and simple single words. All these was my last 5 years of marriage that gave me since 2009 - 2013 May. All was good and all was well. But there is a problem in my marriage too, and it is because of no intimacy act and no communication since my boy was born in 2011. My wife starts to because of work and taking care of my new born, has not been talking to me. And because of my snoring issue, we have been sleeping in separate room after married for few months. So, we have actually not sleeping together since then till even now.

All hell changes and begin in May last year, I have fallen to a gal younger than my by 17years. We met each other and knew each other in School. I have found her very attractive and she has the elegant and confident side that attracted me. I get to be in the same class with her and we get to know each other more by doing group project. Slowly, I have found out that I fallen for her and because she is going through a breakup just recently, I did not express to her till she is totally given up her ex-boyfriend.

Instead of 'Am I toyed by her? Or Am i stupid to love her? Or Am I really loving her?'
How about "Do you still love your family? Do you still love your wife? If you can only choose one, your wife or your freshly baked babe?"

Damage control 1) In your humble opinion, how do you see yourself if the whole same cycle happens to you once again but with a new babe in years to come? It is always never too late to go back to your wife.

Damage control 2) In my humble opinion, please do not do silly things like confessing to your wife for all that you have done to seek forgiveness. No married woman would love to even guess about their husband straying. & that is the least you could do for now.

I would love to hear your thoughts. Cheers!

[Froggy1234]

Thank you all for your words of encouragement and I really appreciate that. But there story did not end here as I first time posting. Didn't realize the posting was limited to 3000 words. I have actually wrote more than15 thousand words for the whole incident. I really want to hear all your thoughts and yes, I wanted to move on and leave her behind as past.

[Froggy1234]

This is where all started and this is when I started to miss her and wanting to see her everyday, every minute. We are just like new in relationship and enjoying our time. Just like newly wed too. Things has a sudden turn, my wife unable to take her job stress and pressure any longer, I have told her to quit. And send her away to my in-laws in Macau and Toronto together with my son. A planned trip for her to be away for at least 6 months. After they are away, I have let the lady to stay with me in my house. During the period of September - December after Christmas, we do have bit of up and down due to her asking me what I am planning to do and what I want this relationship to move on. I have told her before that I will divorce, that is why she will asked me such questions. We do spend real good time together like a couple travelling, enjoying daily life. Something I missed for a long long time. She has always put me first, scared I feel hurt, place me as priority. It is also because of her caring, she do hide some texting between her ex and also some guy friend. I have heard about her past and who she was from people who knew her ex. Although I knew and heard, I see it myself. I will not say she is materialistic, but sometime the way she put across things that are branded is like asking me to give it to her. I have my reserved. I paid for all travelling and has never let her spent any single cents. Unless she is buying something just for herself or even for her friends. She is the first to buy me a branded wallet before I bought her anything. But that was once only. Because of my guilt that I could not provide her anything for her future, I have tried to showered her with gifts and travel. It is during the trip to Korea that things changed, or maybe before that is already changing. I don't know. It is her birthday that I received an email from my wife that she has suspected I am in Korea with her because she saw her FB posting. My wife first suspect was a bitstrip posting in my FB having lunch with her. I am panicked and do not know what to do but lied to my wife that I am on business trip and she is not with me. Yet because of this, I have also neglected her and ignoring her because I am dealing with my internal own feeling. I know I handled it wrongly. I even suggested to shorten the trip and go back to Singapore without thinking that she might not have a place to stay. After back to Singapore, I have drifted myself away from her, reason being, I really cant give her anything not even a future. This has triggered her emotion very badly and she is almost in depression or rather already in depression.

[Froggy1234]

We do still meet but not talking anything else, she only hope I could just spend the rest of the time with her happily before I fly to Toronto to fetch my wife and son back. She has even want me to promise her to spend the night with her during my birthday before I fly two days later. I promised but broke it as well. I really scared that I will not be able to withhold my feeling and also might mislead her that I will do something. After I flew, I did not contact her for two weeks, I missed her a lot, but because I am sailing cruising, I could not contact her. When I am landed, I still do not contact her because my wife and son was with me. And also because I meant to go there for my full body check-up, later found out i have cancer, first stage. But during Valentine's day, i send her flowers from overseas. And started to get contact with her daily. During the period before coming back for about one week, our problem was what I am going to do. And what is my plan. I have voiced out divorce with my wife during the day before we fly back to Singapore. She is very upset and or journey back was with heavy heart. When i touched down, i went to see her the first thing and leave my wife and son behind. We talked and we get engaged again into intimacy.
Later, all things are still trying to figure out and knowing what to do next. But it is also during that time, i found out she is also seeing another guy. But she did not admit and keep saying it is just friend. She has already slept with this guy many times. Yet she still want me by her side. She posted in her FB to show her Valentine's flowers, but i could see mine and that guy could see his only. She asked me to help her in her study, yet she is seeing that guy.
Once, i have woke up at her place after a drank nite, and decided to end the relationship and wanting to walk out. She get so crazy that uses commit suicide to threaten me, saying if i leave her house now, she will jump down and if i don't divorce, she will jump down also. But at that time, she is already seeing this guy. Why would she still want me to be with her? i have tried to restrain her 3 times within an hour, until the very last restrain, i got so mad that i had abuse her. She is wounded. i know it is not right to lay hands on a woman, but because i could not control my temper and just want to stop her from doing so. then it turn out to be a fight between each other, she is brusied, i have scars physically through her bite and scratch. But what she did is to show around her friends and colleagues that she is being abused but did not tell the full story of how it started. Just let people think i am a monster.

[Froggy1234]

There is another time, She asked me to sleep with her, i leave my wife and son at home to spend the night with her, have intimacy with her, and she took off the first flight out with that guy the next few hours after i left her place. i flew all the way in there to look for her and already knew this guy is with her, she accused me stalking her and not believing her. and she could refuse all the way to not come and see me. That period she went, i have my own friends also asked me to go, i told her and she blamed me for not letting her have her holiday peacefully. She keep saying and telling me she is going with her gfs. I have known all along and it is pre-planned with that guy. Yet when she confessed, she said is last minute.

When she need to study for exam and want me to study with her, it is also because that guy she is with is not in town. I booked a hotel room for her to study, so she could concentrate. And i also knew that guy will not be back till sunday. I spent the four days with her during that guy absence including celebrating her dog's birthday. And when is time she told me to go because her mum is coming home and she is having dinner with her mum. All i know she want is to go see that guy. Even though she be angry and said, i am not going anywhere ok, i will just stay at home. Yet, she still went out. And thinking i don't know.

when she is looking for gown just for her dinner and dance, i am the one who brought her around and through searching, fitting, tailoring, fitting again and again, including paying for all her cosmetics, bra and etc. All i asked for is just one picture with her since i have dolled her. her only excuse is cannot, i don't want, you know my colleagues obviously do not want to see you. yet that very night, she went back home and went out again with that guy and sleep again together. This day is also the day i have to go to hospital to have my appointment and to hear my result of my check-up. She did not even send any text or anything asking how i am. i have to sent her text instead. and telling her she don't even care about me, her reply is "no text you meaning not caring you?". I have beg her whole day just to take a picture with her, not wasting more than 10secs, she can outright and upfront says no. Even asked her dad and mum to call me to stop me from disturbing her or threatening her. She is so enjoying that the next day after sending back the gown, went for spa and massage with that guy in JB and yet still send me her picture to show me how beautiful she was last night. And because i keep texting her and calling her, she reported police and says i am harassing her and threaten her. All these happen in March 28-30, 2014.

[Froggy1234]

Due to the police reporting against me, i am not allow to call her or text her, or do anything to harm her. Which i never has that intention before in the very first place. After a few days, i saw her at our usual morning coffee place. and i approached her to talk. And that is also when we started talking again. until one day she is so sick that she could not leave her bed, i knew and went to her place immediately, bought her lunch and make sure she finish. after that she told me to leave because her mum is coming home, in actual fact, her mum is overseas. i knew it all along. i just acted blur and go along with her lies. all that i knew with proofs and evidence, i kept to myself and not exposing her. i knew she asked me to leave so early is because that guy is coming soon. i feel i don't want to carry on like this, it is not right. so i told her i will go and rebuild my family. she got so mad that she smashed our things away. and that night, she has asked that guy to spend the night with her. she has told me to fuck off and she wouldn't even think of being together is possible anymore. i really harden myself, not answering her text, calls the very next day. for two days, i did not reply to any of her calls or text. until Monday morning when i am in the office, she called during my meeting and i have no choice but to answer and say i will call her back. again, she is sick. my heart soften and went to her again, and left the place after finished.

late in the evening, she sent me a picture of her cutting her wrist, i got panicked and send it to the guy and asked him to go and see her because we are done. about 20mins later, she text again. i knew that guy did not go up. i asked a friend along with me so to also stop me from going back to her. on the way in the car, she started to confessed all her doing about cheating on me. Telling me things that i already knew and i told her i knew it all along and do not want to expose it. at that time, my heart soften and have her back to me. She promised to start everything afresh and anew and being transparent. And she will do all things right for us. I took her words and go ahead to proceed my divorce, which i have already done so even before she knew. But due to inheritance for my son, it need three years.

During beginning of April - July, we tried to work things out and tried to be transparent. But i found out, she is not. there are still many things she is hiding and she thought i do not know. including still texting that guy. Including seeing her ex. She used to be a model and also taken nude pictures before. She do have a few FB before she knew me. She admit she love sex because it is adventurous to her. She has cheated on her ex before, both her ex-es. And she is repeating herself again on me.

[Froggy1234]

One day, she said she cant take it anymore, and she want out. After just trying for only few months, she said she want out. When i want out during these few months, she cried, scream, sitting at the ledge of her window, telling my friend if i dun reply to her, she will jump out from the building. keep texting and calling non-stop. Yet when she say she want out, i beg and beg. even including threaten her, she went to report police. (Just side note, i am an ex-convict, her first reporting is already bad in end March, her next reporting is in 13 July), this time she went to tell the police that i harass and threaten to expose her nude photo. When i talk to the IO, i told them the photos are already exposed in a forum long ago. She thought i don't know but i just acted blur. I still pinned hope with her and we do still text but she kept a distance, it is the same pattern i have seen. i knew she is seeing someone. true enough, during one Saturday, 12 July, i saw her kissing another guy in front of her office. When i asked her, she admit she kissed but saying it is just a good feeling, not into any relationship and not seeing anyone. She can start anytime she wants. That day i saw is because we both have planned to watch a musical in RWS and i have booked a room to spend a night together. From there when i saw, i know it is over. She reported police against me the next day because i keep calling her a whore and sleep with man easily. i am so angry because she says want to start anew. Yet, do not give me time to settle my divorce.

Up till today, i still cannot forget about her. i really need help from you guys. Tell me what i should do. I have given her back all things that she gave and belong to us. But all is smashed and broken pieces.

[HappyOwl]

After finished reading 15 thousand words of yours, I honestly can conclude you do not need any help. The reason why this whole game can lasted for so long is because of your pockets. They are very loaded.

I have given her back all things that she gave and belong to us. But all is smashed and broken pieces. She don't owe you any & you don't owe her any as of now. You are already half-way there to be free to roam. As for the rest, mind over actions. You can definitely continue to miss her for all you want, but cut off all contacts literally. Not even a single sms nor a single phone call. If you happen to bump into her, just walk away. The possibilities of her gaming you again & again is berry berry berry high. Just walk away please. The perseverance of yours will indefinitely lead you to somewhere happier (regardless of whoever you are & that includes your background).

End of the day, appreciate her for who she is. Because of people like her, she adds her personal touch into your life to make you stronger, managing yourself better, memorable & smarter in time to come. (Been there done that)

I wish you good health too. Cheers!

[stillgottheblue]

Why would you leave your wife and child for a slut like her which can be bought by money and money alone.

When you're in hospital one say, your family will be there for you. They are the closest in your life.

If your wife cannot fulfill your sexual life, get a good fuck outside, pay and go home to carry on with your life. There's absolutely no need to get attached to another woman.

[porscheclub]

Froggy, is this a fictional story? Quite a read but too much twists everywhere. You're suddenly an ex convict & she's turning out to be a schizophrenic or perhaps that is you?

3.5yrs old & understands alphabets+nos of 15 languages!? Either your wife is a very talented & patient mother or you hired an outstanding tutor. I have 4 kids & it's tough....

I can relate to your story very well having had a turbulent love before & spending a night in hospital with a scar while she tried to jump but restrained by flatmates. 色字头上一把刀, 爱与恨只一线之差, 觉悟醒悟在于你。牺牲是最伟大的爱,为你孩子牺牲吧!

[<<totally>>]

兄弟, 要断就断干净些。不要耦断又丝连。没完没了。你还有一个家,乖乖回去你的巢吧。对你, 对她, 对你的老婆和孩子都好。
So what if you get the answers to your questions. It does not make any differences. The real answer is in your heart and you have to face the issues bravely. Be a man and get over it before everything is too late.