Divorce

Count Dragula · #1 28-12-2005, 01:42 AM

Hi bros and sisters out there,

This is totally not sex related but really confused and losing my mind now.

I am married for 9 years and had a son with my wife. Financial problems had started to arise for the past 1.5 years since I lose my last job. We spent all our savings and currently we have problems settling many bills and loans that we have accumulated over the years. 2 days ago, my wife told me that she cannot take it and wanted to file a divorce if the situation do not improve next year. I was like totally saddened by this news as I was always proud of her for taking care of our son and for her endurance in going through this hard time in my life but situation turns sour recently and i am totally lost now....honestly I admit I am not the best husband but I try to be one but sometime we cannot control many things. The thought of ending my life also struck my mind as i was tying.....just feel very tired and demorlaised.......

Count Dragula · #2 28-12-2005, 01:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jamesboo

Hi Bro,

I sympatize with your situation and I'm a true believer that finance issue is one of the key factor to marriage or relationship break up.

Don't mean to teach you, just a word of advice.

We have not been talking for the past 2 days and just now...I tried to talk to her and ask her why next year? Does that means that money is so imprtant....my opnion of marriage is for both to go through thick or thin in life...irregradless of rich or poor.....and at this down turn in my life...someone I trusted so much said all these hurting things to me....

life sucks

Count Dragula · #3 28-12-2005, 02:01 AM

Can anyone tell me how to salvage my marriage????!!!!!

Count Dragula · #4 28-12-2005, 02:02 AM

this is how i felt too....knn....see so many movies and stories on tvs....but nvr expect it ot happen to me......

fuck man.....

tobi69 · #5 28-12-2005, 02:03 AM

The thought of ending my life also struck my mind as i was tying.....just feel very tired and demorlaised.......[/QUOTE]

Hey bro,all problems has it solution..why dont u sit down wif your wife and talk bout it..im against u ending ur life like tat!!suicide is for loser!!i dont think u are 1 bro!!think of ur son pls!!work things out, i believe u will be able to solve it..cheers bro...

Count Dragula · #6 28-12-2005, 02:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jamesboo

Hi Bro,

The best is to bring a 3rd party involve to mediate the situation, both party is not thinking properly right now, best is both of you go and see a counsellor together.

Try to stress to her the important of giving the kid a complete family, if this marriage is broken, end of the day the kid will suffer.

she will not go...cos i know her too well.....my only hopes its probably my in laws.....but what the heck......i was thinking to myself that if she harbours the thought of divorce then what is the point??? I am struggling to believe that it is the financial pressure that cause her to react this way......but just now i talk to her...she told me that she already nvr regards me as her husband already.......knn.....shit man...

Count Dragula · #7 28-12-2005, 02:11 AM

I think there is no way out for this marriage already......!!!!!

ahboonah · #8 28-12-2005, 02:15 AM

May i ask u something?

During these two years when u lose ur previous job, what have u been doing then?

hunter1222 · #9 28-12-2005, 02:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jamesboo

The best is to bring a 3rd party involve to mediate the situation, both party is not thinking properly right now, best is both of you go and see a counsellor together.

I agree with bro jamesboo here. I think both of you should go see a mariage and finacial counsellor.Tell your wife to give you more time. After all next year is just a few days away! For god's sake. Thing needs time to improve.

For money wise, my advice to you is that you cancel any credit cards that the both of you have. And NEVER EVER use one card to pay for the other. It just increases your debits.

Also sell your car if you have one. It's a goddam waste of money. (unless your job requires it)

hunter1222 · #10 28-12-2005, 02:29 AM

Oh and killing yourself solves nothing. It just transfers your problems to your family and friends and your grantors. Besides I don't think you want your kids to know that their dad killed himself because he does not dare to face his problems right?

Count Dragula · #11 28-12-2005, 02:36 AM

thanks for all the advices bro...gonna meet a good friend now for some advice......I will try my best to salvage the marriage cos I dun want a broken family in me.....

hunter1222 · #12 28-12-2005, 02:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Count Dragula

I think there is no way out for this marriage already......!!!!!

Where there's a will there's a way. Besides we survived Army by taking whatever shit they threw at us and conquering it...why can't you do it now?

Count Dragula · #13 28-12-2005, 02:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ahboonah

May i ask u something?

During these two years when u lose ur previous job, what have u been doing then?

odd jobs...bro....but i stay in a five rooms flat and my bills and housing installments
are like 2-3K a month.......what job can substanciate my burdens

I used to be eraning like 10k a month......even if i sell off my flatand downgrade....not feasible.....

KingEros · #14 28-12-2005, 02:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Count Dragula

Can anyone tell me how to salvage my marriage????!!!!!

You sure you wanna salvage this marriage??
'Coz I'm sure you could do better than come here to let off steam??
Comments like "life sucks" & "knn.... shit man...." won't make any difference to your situation, much less the accord of anybody here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Count Dragula

but just now i talk to her.... she told me that she already nvr regards me as her husband already....

Quote:

Originally Posted by Count Dragula

my opnion of marriage is for both to go through thick or thin in life.... regardless of rich or poor....

I would do the same, if I were her ...
What exactly have you done to "demand" your stance as the husband of choice still?? I mean, it took you 1.5 years & you still can't readjust financially enough to take care of your own family??
Everybody's gotta have expectations ... while yours are such that your wife should stay with you through thick & thin, hers are such that her husband is providing the family with mostly thins, without a hint of better days even in the foreseeable future. That's THE difference ... man, get a hold of this truth.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Count Dragula

The thought of ending my life also struck my mind.... just feel very tired and demoralised....

If you think you can only take the easy way out, then go ahead & kill yourself ... you'd not be missed - not by anyone here nor by your own son!!!
On the other hand, get a hold of yourself & get yourself back on track financially ... that's your only chance of working anything out with your wife - even if it takes more than a year to achieve that. If by then, she's already with a wealthier man, then you still didn't lose what you never got.
Get the pic now??

KingEros · #15 28-12-2005, 02:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Count Dragula

but i stay in a five rooms flat .... my bills & housing installments are like 2-3K a month....
I used to be earning like 10k a month.... even if i sell off my flat & downgrade.... not feasible....

With a brain like yours - plus an insistence to feast on past glories (you earning almost 10-20% of what you used to, remember??) & live like royalties (2 adults & a kid in a 5-room flat ... you better not tell us you have a maid too, ok??), I think you really deserve to die ...
Do you know there are a majority here who live in a smaller place than yours, in a simpler way than yours?? I'm sure they'd be most glad to help you pull the trigger.