2014_12_04 The "Cool Guy" that was the one Fooled. (again) - Chapter 1 [I of III]

[Plaedes]

I

It was her reaction that gave her away.

If the guy's half naked picture I had chanced upon to see on her phone as I turned to hug her was a mere customer, she would simply have said so. But there was an awkward 10 seconds silence. Something hit me, and didn't, at the same time. I didn't want to face up to reality again. Soon, she's clearing the pictures from her phone of her dinner with her "customer" at Sentosa. And the guy's picture was in a folder below it. I know she always clears her pictures in her phone and I assumed it was arranged by date. Then she said if we are not doing anything, "I'm going to read". I been with her for the past month. She never had that habit. She skimmed through the pages on her phone like someone trained in speed reading. Again, I didn't want to think. But I did. She wasn't reading. She was thinking. She is not a dual task girl, that I know.

She was thinking of how to explain that picture to me. She was half drunk, guilt ridden. And I give her the benefit of the doubt that she did have some feelings for me after what we shared in this short amount of time.

In that 10 seconds, time froze and there was a dawn of realization. She had someone all along. That was why I couldn't get her most of the time. Why she replies to messages hours later, not picking up phone calls, claiming, it's not nice with a customer. That was why she was so awkward today. That was why she was so mad at me when I got drunk and called her a slut. Why I could message her the whole of Sunday, only to get a, I'm going to work reply at 730pm. And only a phone call the next day after, and a 20 second conversation of, customer had asked me for dinner. Now I'm thinking, they are in the hotel room all of Sunday, like we were.

Am I finding reasons to validate my own assumptions? It's often said I'm like a woman in a relationship. And the good news is, I am intuitive and sense things. I feel her not completely with me, I thought it was because she had to leave SG after 6 months, but something was wrong somewhere and I could not figure it out. It was drowned in alcohol and the type of passionate sex I never had for years. But. she could also be telling the truth.

How could she claim to love me, be so nice to me... and betray me... The one who picked me up after I couldn't let go of being betrayed, betrayed me. The one that could got ever get near my heart when I thought I had closed it up forever. How could she have trusted me to take her naked pictures and our naked shots, and still do this to me...