reaching out to an ex

[Edyta]

what will make u reach out to an ex again?

cos u miss her/him
u wanted a favor?

For me i wont reach out even if I needed a favor cos i dont wana disturb their lives now.

have u done it before? get a warm or cold reception?

[Jevv]

Originally Posted by Edyta

what will make u reach out to an ex again?

cos u miss her/him
u wanted a favor?

For me i wont reach out even if I needed a favor cos i dont wana disturb their lives now.

have u done it before? get a warm or cold reception?

i think the reason is becoze one missed those good companionship or probably good sex frm their ex-es (??)

One of my guy fren 1st contacted his ex-gf (a month b4 getting married)...
Now tat he is alrdy married for 2 yrs+ wit a baby boy too, he & tat ex-gf is still in contact. Understand frm him, he & that ex-gf broke up due to a misunderstanding...He then married his oc (the gf after tat ex-gf)

His r/ship wit tat ex-gf is close but non-sexual basis...saying tat he missed those days together with her, he just wants to re-live those days & also looking for companionship...since theirs is non-sexual, so its not sex he is looking into. Coze that ex-gf did talked to him abt wanting to hv sex, but he did not proceed further as he knws where he stands.

[zan888]

Originally Posted by Edyta

what will make u reach out to an ex again?

cos u miss her/him
u wanted a favor?

For me i wont reach out even if I needed a favor cos i dont wana disturb their lives now.

have u done it before? get a warm or cold reception?

I guess I do that often, cos I dont have bad feelings about the breakup in first place? Maybe naive in that can still be friends, which I realize, is only possible when the initial feelings have died. If there is baggage it is hard, cos the romance will resurface and the same problems leading to the breakup will arise. If the sex is fantastic, then it is even more problematic haha

[Edyta]

Originally Posted by Jevv

i think the reason is becoze one missed those good companionship or probably good sex frm their ex-es (??)

One of my guy fren 1st contacted his ex-gf (a month b4 getting married)...
Now tat he is alrdy married for 2 yrs+ wit a baby boy too, he & tat ex-gf is still in contact. Understand frm him, he & that ex-gf broke up due to a misunderstanding...He then married his oc (the gf after tat ex-gf)

His r/ship wit tat ex-gf is close but non-sexual basis...saying tat he missed those days together with her, he just wants to re-live those days & also looking for companionship...since theirs is non-sexual, so its not sex he is looking into. Coze that ex-gf did talked to him abt wanting to hv sex, but he did not proceed further as he knws where he stands.

thats a nice outcome quite rare tho.

[Edyta]

Originally Posted by zan888

I guess I do that often, cos I dont have bad feelings about the breakup in first place? Maybe naive in that can still be friends, which I realize, is only possible when the initial feelings have died. If there is baggage it is hard, cos the romance will resurface and the same problems leading to the breakup will arise. If the sex is fantastic, then it is even more problematic haha

it would be nice if its just for friendship. i was hoping thts the reason why i hear fr him agn. but my gut feel tells me otherwise.

[Ladyrain]

Originally Posted by Edyta

it would be nice if its just for friendship. i was hoping thts the reason why i hear fr him agn. but my gut feel tells me otherwise.

The sex is good btw the 2 of you.. He missed the intimacy.. Hes lacking of something he couldnt get fr his current beau.
And so he came to you.

[ilwtmlabnn]

Originally Posted by Edyta

what will make u reach out to an ex again?

cos u miss her/him
u wanted a favor?

For me i wont reach out even if I needed a favor cos i dont wana disturb their lives now.

have u done it before? get a warm or cold reception?

I doubt I will reach out to my ex after breaking up. Although there could be a mutual agreement that the two of you can continue as friends, it most probably wont turn out that way. That could be misunderstanding that one still stand a chance in getting back with other, and worse still if she/he is misled. This probably will hurt the person deeply. Since having broken up, talking to one another will definitely be less intense as before. The feelings you get from this 'suddenly colder' conversation wont be good for both and can be quite torturous.

If one were to initiate a break up and still reach out to his/her ex for help, I feel that it shows that he/she a little thick skinned and should be ashamed of himself/herself. Of course, there are people who take advantage of the fact that their ex still have feelings for them and hence asking them for help is the easy way out. On the other hand, if one is dumped, I dont think he or she will ever reach out to the ex (unless he/she still have a lot of feelings and want to try to patch things up), let alone ask for help.

There are exceptions la. "当情人那么沉重，当朋友反而轻松”. Sometimes ex-es still are good friends, not as common though, but still possible.

[siri]

I truly believe if an ex reaches out to you but doesn't have the intention to patch back, only 2 scenario.

1) he wants another good time with you
2) he just feel guilty and wanna be friends again.

[JohnWiFi]

I never reach out to an ex.

There is a reason he is an EX.

[b0ji0]

Maybe one is not unable to move on so look for ex again.

[Westcoast]

support you

[Westcoast]

hope all is fine

[Westcoast]

Originally Posted by siri

I truly believe if an ex reaches out to you but doesn't have the intention to patch back, only 2 scenario.

1) he wants another good time with you
2) he just feel guilty and wanna be friends again.

agreed with u!

[Edyta]

Originally Posted by Ladyrain

The sex is good btw the 2 of you.. He missed the intimacy.. Hes lacking of something he couldnt get fr his current beau.
And so he came to you.

i think this is 1 of the reason he reach out. he could be lonely.

[Edyta]

Originally Posted by ilwtmlabnn

I doubt I will reach out to my ex after breaking up. Although there could be a mutual agreement that the two of you can continue as friends, it most probably wont turn out that way. That could be misunderstanding that one still stand a chance in getting back with other, and worse still if she/he is misled. This probably will hurt the person deeply. Since having broken up, talking to one another will definitely be less intense as before. The feelings you get from this 'suddenly colder' conversation wont be good for both and can be quite torturous.

If one were to initiate a break up and still reach out to his/her ex for help, I feel that it shows that he/she a little thick skinned and should be ashamed of himself/herself. Of course, there are people who take advantage of the fact that their ex still have feelings for them and hence asking them for help is the easy way out. On the other hand, if one is dumped, I dont think he or she will ever reach out to the ex (unless he/she still have a lot of feelings and want to try to patch things up), let alone ask for help.

There are exceptions la. "当情人那么沉重，当朋友反而轻松”. Sometimes ex-es still are good friends, not as common though, but still possible.

u said it very well.
i think enough time has to pass bef can be friends again n only if its worth it as in the person is fundamentally of sound character but due to other reasons the breakup happened.
in this case, I opted out of the relationship. i faded off as i fely he lacks sincerity n not someone i would want to be in long term. he wasnt chasing me back as well he sort of accepted my fade off. this time he reach out cos i heard he lost his job. my gut feel is he wants contacts in the industry (yup I suddenly become useful agn) n he is lonely n bored with no job. its really no respect of boundaries n quite thick skin if its really the 2 reasons above. i felt abit sad also if i was only gd when he thinks I am of use to him. not becos he miss me or hv any feelings.