How to train your GF/wife to listen to you

[big_bear]

Do you feel your GF/wife is out of control? Here are some advice on how to train them to listen to you.

Training Your Girlfriend

When you first start dating a new girlfriend, you want to be on your best behavior. Sure, you want to make a good impression, but what you're really doing is catering to her to get sex.

The problem is, the power base shifts to her right from the outset and she knows it. She's in charge of access to the zipper and she counts on you bending over backward to gain entry. So she's got you.

But there's more to it than that.

You might not be aware of it, but what she's really up to is training you to be what she calls a "gentleman" -- acting nice and accommodating, paying for her meals and chauffeuring her around like a servant. And that's not all. She's also busy laying her traps to lock you into this pattern for the course of the relationship.

Before you know it, she'll have you on her leash, following her around like a puppy dog, eagerly awaiting her next command, and lapping up the few sexual kibbles she tosses at you to keep you at "heel."

Sounds despicable, doesn't it? Yet girlfriends do it to men all the time. Why? Because we let them. We allow them to treat us like obedient pets, with sex as our reward for the "correct" behavior.

But what if you don't want to wind up as your girlfriend's puppy dog? Is there any way out of this canine catastrophe? The answer is "yes."

The trick is to beat her to the punch -- act fast and treat her like one first. A girlfriend can make a best friend and ideal companion, but like any bitch (female dog, that is), she needs to be taught how to act around the house. So you have to set the ground rules early by enrolling her in your own private obedience school.

common obedience problems

Aggression
She's out of control and constantly acts up. Brainwashed by a steady diet of Oprah and "feminist" propaganda, she's now "empowered," meaning that her thoughts run somewhere along these lines: "Men have been holding me back, I want mine now, and I don't care what pair of testicles I have to step on to get it." Since a girlfriend's brain is unable to distinguish emotion from logic, this kind of fantasy thinking will prompt her to act in self-destructive patterns and will cause you undue stress around the house.

Whining
She doesn't like to be left alone. She pouts when you hook up for the weekly poker game with your buddies. She harps at you to buy her something, and when she gets it, she doesn't want it anymore (or demands something even more expensive). She nags that you watch too much ESPN. She's always whimpering that she's too fat, too old or not pretty enough. She craves constant attention.

Barking
Yap, yap, yap. She talks incessantly. But the problem is that she goes on and on and on about nothing. You're on the phone, trying to close a business deal, and there she is in the background, yipping about her new pair of shoes.

Disobedience
Like a dog, she is hard to train. No matter what you want, she always insists on getting her own way, then throws a tantrum or cuts off sex if you oppose her. She's always escaping from the yard to go shopping. And she won't respect your commands ("roll over," "lie down," "play dead").

Begging
She always "begs" with her hands on her hips -- never on all fours. All you hear from her is, "I want this," "Give me that" (on your credit card, of course) and "My girlfriend's boyfriend bought her a car -- why are you so cheap?" Not to mention that she expects to be regularly taken out for expensive dinners.

House destruction
You just can't leave her alone in your place. You go out for a few hours to play golf, and when you come back, your autographed Bears poster and leather couch have been replaced by flower prints and a shrimp-colored loveseat. And there are friggin' laces on the windows.

Not fetching
An improperly trained girlfriend doesn't know that she should always bring you a beer without having to be asked.

Chasing
Girlfriends are naturally attracted to bright, shiny objects (like jewelry) and fast-moving luxury cars. An untrained girlfriend will abandon you and run after any male who happens by with a few baubles and a Porsche.

Not being housetrained
Girlfriends are notorious for not knowing how to put the toilet seat back up.

training your girlfriend

You can see how much upset an untrained girlfriend can bring into your life. So how can you counteract these bad behaviors?

Act early and often
Girlfriends have to be taught obedience from day one, or they will soon think that their bad behavior will be tolerated. Once improper patterns have been imprinted on the female brain, they can be extremely difficult to alter -- you can't teach an old girlfriend new tricks. The idea is to set the ground rules at the beginning of the relationship so that she can understand what's expected of her. This means your regular night out with the guys, sharing dating expenses and sex on your terms.

Don't be afraid to say "no"
As many would believe, girlfriends aren't usually as bright as men, so they typically have to be told more than once. And spank her if she continues to misbehave. If she likes it, spank her a lot.

Use operant(psychological) conditioning
Freely encourage her good behaviors (being in heat, excessive licking, humping, and especially obeying the command, "Down, girl!") with praise and rewards while ignoring the bad. The idea is not to punish her for doing something wrong (unless she's into that sort of thing), but to withhold attention from the behaviors you don't like. This way, she will slowly catch on and eliminate the unwanted patterns from her repertoire. As she starts to become dependent upon your approval or disapproval, she will act more agreeably and respectfully toward you.

practice makes perfect

All in all, obedience training is one of the best things you can do for your girlfriend and yourself, because a well-trained girlfriend makes for a happy relationship. It can enrich your dating life by eliminating unwanted behaviors and can make your time together much more enjoyable. The ultimate result is that you'll wind up with a girlfriend who will treat you well and work hard to please you... the perfect pet to have around the house.

[big_bear]

Note to all readers, please note that the advice given above is meant to be read with a sense of humour and not to be taken too seriously. If any girls are reading this, hope you don't get offended.

[Castrol]

Originally Posted by big_bear

Barking
Yap, yap, yap. She talks incessantly. But the problem is that she goes on and on and on about nothing. You're on the phone, trying to close a business deal, and there she is in the background, yipping about her new pair of shoes.

this is why women seldom fart, they cant shut the hell up long enough for the pressure to build up.

[no_faith]

Begging
She always "begs" with her hands on her hips -- never on all fours. All you hear from her is, "I want this," "Give me that" (on your credit card, of course) and "My girlfriend's boyfriend bought her a car -- why are you so cheap?" Not to mention that she expects to be regularly taken out for expensive dinners.

rong rong ago, bike can yaya, yrs go by, driving honda, can hook mei mei, now honda, got prob hook liao, mei mei will pop u question like wat kind of car u driving, if no sports car or posh euro car, she not even wan to get near u, shit man...
mei mei nowadays getting more street smart

[beck7777]

Originally Posted by no_faith

Begging

rong rong ago, bike can yaya, yrs go by, driving honda, can hook mei mei, now honda, got prob hook liao, mei mei will pop u question like wat kind of car u driving, if no sports car or posh euro car, she not even wan to get near u, shit man...
mei mei nowadays getting more street smart

It's like that one mah..

When the girl is 14-16, you yandao can liao..

When she is 17-18, You got bike is consider good..

When she 19-23, You got car is considered not bad...

When she is 24 and above, must ask what car you driving, how much you earning, how much you saving, what you think of marriage etc..

[best123]

for mine...i gave up.... she never listens!

[Bronco]

Originally Posted by best123

for mine...i gave up.... she never listens!

Bro, dun feel bad, same boat....

[primalhunter]

Recipe for divorce, this one.....

[best123]

Originally Posted by Bronco

Bro, dun feel bad, same boat....

at least u make me feel better bro!

[Shuang_Jie_Gun]

let me get back to this thread once i find my new girlfriend.

[Spud_Boy]

Originally Posted by best123

for mine...i gave up.... she never listens!

same.. she just wants me to listen..

spoilt her from the begining of the r/s..

[Spud_Boy]

Originally Posted by Shuang_Jie_Gun

let me get back to this thread once i find my new girlfriend.

all the best in finding the perfect half for urself, bro..

[BaoBei512]

... I thought some guys just like to spoilt gers? But still if some guys herem got the ger that is being descibe here,

eeeekkkkssss, i dunno what is that like.. its dont sound good to me

[colddoggie]

Originally Posted by Castrol

this is why women seldom fart, they cant shut the hell up long enough for the pressure to build up.

Mine comes out BOTH ways.. she farts a lot as well as talks alot.. worse... she loves to fart under the sheets..

[One Man]

Originally Posted by colddoggie

Mine comes out BOTH ways.. she farts a lot as well as talks alot.. worse... she loves to fart under the sheets..

Bro my condolences to you man. But I am sure she does have her good point as well right?