How to deal with a discovered affair?

SilverWormz · #1 28-09-2008, 10:14 PM

Any bros out here had experiences with ordeals of your discovered affair?
I had my affair with a fellow co-worker discovered by my CO by means of engaging a PI. CO threatens to file a divorce suit against me and the 3rd party in court. I've seen the photos taken of me & my lover behaving intimately in public, but nothing sexual so far.

Does she have any case against me on adultery assuming no sexual evidence? Any advice will be appreciated.

ch18 · #2 29-09-2008, 01:21 AM

U screwed up the marriage yourself..........Just be a man n face it lah.........
THERE IS ALWAY A RISK WHEN YOU WANT TO HAVE FUN!!!!

DO_YOU_BJ · #3 29-09-2008, 01:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SilverWormz

Any bros out here had experiences with ordeals of your discovered affair?
I had my affair with a fellow co-worker discovered by my CO by means of engaging a PI. CO threatens to file a divorce suit against me and the 3rd party in court. I've seen the photos taken of me & my lover behaving intimately in public, but nothing sexual so far.

Does she have any case against me on adultery assuming no sexual evidence? Any advice will be appreciated.

Dun expect the PI to take voyeur pics of the gal giving you a BJ & you screwing her rite......
Those intimate pics in public are incriminating evidence liao.
If you love your wife, kneel & beg but be ready to live a life in prison and be a second class citizen in your own home.
Else onz her wif the divorce.

Either way, you are fucked bro.....good luck

colins · #4 29-09-2008, 02:38 AM

This one must ask for bro slider's comment. Personally I think its kinda difficult since your wife already has a good headstart and planned the discovery. She must have good legal advice already. Defending against such is always between lose more or lose less.

porscheclub · #5 29-09-2008, 05:46 PM

TS, find a lawyer & talk about this. Access your damage etc. feels like shit right? I ganna before too.

CO threatens means still can talk?

If not, bro BJ has said it.

If I'm not wrong, those photos are good grounds to file for a divorce. We don't need butt naked pics on bed to prove in court & since she's blown her top. That's it....

jojogigi · #6 29-09-2008, 06:07 PM

prepare to spend money for the divorce and the aftermath. Or u can beg and live like dog. Got pros and cons la. U willing to part with your money or your pride. You choose.

slider_72 · #7 29-09-2008, 06:08 PM

Yep. Photos of you behaving intimately in public will probably be sufficient to file for divorce on the ground of adultery. Like bro DYBJ said, it would be near impossible to obtain evidence of you on the receiving end of a bbbj or doing a 69.

You can of course defend the divorce proceedings and challenge the evidence. Technically unless there is direct evidence of you actually shagging your girl, all other evidence are at best circumstantial evidence. Now we do not know how intimate you were when you were caught. All circumstantial evidence will have different value in proving whether you committed adultery.

For instance, if the photos show you hugging your girl and walking into Hotel 81, it would be difficult for the judge to believe that you were there to take an afternoon nap and nothing else.

However, if the photos merely show you and your girl having a burger and coke at MacDonalds, even if you were looking at each other lovingly in the eyes, there can still be reasonable doubt whether you had in fact committed adultery.

Anyway, even if she cannot prove that you committed adultery, the fact that you have another girlfriend, neglected your wife, call out your girlfriend's name in your sleep, etc can still be relied upon for a divorce on the ground of unreasonable behaviour.

The difference between proceeding on adultery as a ground for divorce and proceeding on the ground of unreasonable behaviour is that for adultery, your wife will have to join in your girlfriend in the divorce proceedings as a co-defendant. For most people, the embarassment would be the major trauma.

Either way, since you were caught, if your wife really wants to divorce you, there is precious little you can do legally to stop the divorce proceedings. I suppose the only way out is to go down on your kneels and beg.

RJ2004 · #8 29-09-2008, 06:37 PM

actually, behaving intimately in public can still argue...
if the PI is good there will be pics and time records of any hotel trysts and that is a killer.

jojogigi · #9 29-09-2008, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RJ2004

actually, behaving intimately in public can still argue...
if the PI is good there will be pics and time records of any hotel trysts and that is a killer.

ya but the courts always favour the ladies if the lady file for divorce based on marriage infidelity. Little things like intimacy or hold hands is enough to kill the man.

colins · #10 29-09-2008, 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slider_72

Either way, since you were caught, if your wife really wants to divorce you, there is precious little you can do legally to stop the divorce proceedings. I suppose the only way out is to go down on your kneels and beg.

Well said bro.

Vectra · #11 29-09-2008, 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SilverWormz

Does she have any case against me on adultery assuming no sexual evidence? Any advice will be appreciated.

The evidence is definitely not going to do you good. You know the odds, why bother to ask.

isg3003 · #12 29-09-2008, 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SilverWormz

Any bros out here had experiences with ordeals of your discovered affair?
I had my affair with a fellow co-worker discovered by my CO by means of engaging a PI. CO threatens to file a divorce suit against me and the 3rd party in court. I've seen the photos taken of me & my lover behaving intimately in public, but nothing sexual so far.

Does she have any case against me on adultery assuming no sexual evidence? Any advice will be appreciated.

Well despite all the downside, u got one up side, u have your so -call gf in the event of a divorce. Perhaps now is the time to plan on how to limit financial damage.

peanut123 · #13 30-09-2008, 12:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by isg3003

Well despite all the downside, u got one up side, u have your so -call gf in the event of a divorce. Perhaps now is the time to plan on how to limit financial damage.

After his wife's laywers are through with him, he might not have enough money to support his gf :-(

As for TS, if you have any feelings at all left for your wife, I think a reconciliation is probably better for both of you and your kids. If she can forgive you, then she's got a big heart and probably still loves you.

Of course, if you don't love her at all, then the divorce is maybe the way to go. Matters of the heart is always complicated.

Wooden_Handle · #14 30-09-2008, 12:56 AM

Hi Bro,

Really bad luck and seems you must have something going on for quite awhile that your CO want to get the evidence.

My advise is what your CO is demanding, since she didnt proceed to file the divorce with evidence directly.

Your CO has the upper hand with the evidence, with 'Women Charter' she can get away with whole lots of things from you. (When will Men Charter be a reailty?)

So you may have to bite the bullet, see what is her demand, and whether you can accommodate.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SilverWormz

I had my affair with a fellow co-worker discovered by my CO by means of engaging a PI. CO threatens to file a divorce suit against me and the 3rd party in court.

Fun Guy · #15 30-09-2008, 03:43 AM

Why are you so careless? You should have been more careful.

Nothing is going to change the fact that you are caught red handed. My advise to you is try asking for forgiveness and she maybe go soft again. If she ever forgive you, stay or lie low for a long while first. Stay calm and be cool for the time being.