Thai "holiday gf"? Anyone had something like this before?

[cbk69]

Bros, you guys suddenly scaring me man.
However she has been totally non-clingy since day 1 - we hardly text at all after we left each other at the airport. So I think she also treats me as a holiday bf and that's it.....?
It's quite amazing haha, we are super lovey dovey when together but it's like we don't know each other once apart. I guess maybe it's also not a bad thing?

[mario11soto22]

Originally Posted by BroRelax

Suddenly my kkj shrink sia! 🤣

since young my mother always warn me about thai wives. when they love you, they really love you. when u mess with them, u are finished..hahaha

[Ket54]

Originally Posted by cbk69

Bros, you guys suddenly scaring me man.
However she has been totally non-clingy since day 1 - we hardly text at all after we left each other at the airport. So I think she also treats me as a holiday bf and that's it.....?
It's quite amazing haha, we are super lovey dovey when together but it's like we don't know each other once apart. I guess maybe it's also not a bad thing?

Maybe she also don't want to tied down to a permanent thing (after how the first partner literally ended) and just wants to have your company (you must have met her need for someone she feels comfortable with), not all girls are clingy to their 'companion' all the time and they want their own alone-time too. I know Thai girls who are really comfortable and content just being by themselves and not looking. 'Have good, don't have also good' type. Enjoy your time with her when you can.. she's quite pretty and good thing the sex is enjoyable. Keep it light and don't overthink bro

[cbk69]

Thanks for the insights bro. Indeed after I think about it, I feel she may be exactly what you said - keeping it fun, non-committal.

I made another trip to BKK this week as I had some time on my hands and was bored.
The 2nd girl came to my room the first night and we had sex once before dinner, and once after.. Could tell she enjoys sex quite a lot as she gets turned on easily when I lick her nipples (actually this seems to be true for majority of the girls out there), and she came quite a few times. However it seems she is looking for something more serious in a relationship, and something I said during dinner made her feel that we couldn't continue this, so she cut it off after the first night and she said we could remain as good friends. Fine. Her massage techniques are next level though. I've done a ton of massages and she easily ranks among the best in terms of strength and technique, as she took her massage course at Wat Pho.

I then reached out to the 1st girl and told her I was in BKK for a last min work trip, and she bought it (well not really heh, she obviously had her suspicions but didn't push). I wasn't planning on meeting her this trip as it had only been about 10 days since our Phuket trip. We ended up spending the next 4 nights together and we had a really good time as usual. I think I have a much higher sex drive than her though as she only wants to have sex once at night when we get back to the hotel, and she is afraid of getting turned on at other times outside of that haha (licking her nipples and frenching her drives her crazy and really turns her on).. With the flooding and rain these few days I was really happy that she still braved the trouble to meet me. On the last day she even walked a very long way with me to get my luggage from a locker before I left for the airport, even though she doesn't like walking at all (seems to be true for many Thai girls at least those I've met, they'd rather take a grab bike even for relatively short distances hmm).

I learnt that her family has a small rubber plantation (about 1000 trees) and that she was trying to hire Laos workers but it has been proving difficult. And she was open with me that she does Botox every 3 months.. she's only 33. Anyway, with her large expenses spent on maintaining herself (and she's staying in a condo - albeit sharing a 2 or 3 BR apartment with a friend), I guess she must really be freelancing and/or she has some sponsor, but I try not to think about that too much...she is quite pretty in my eyes though, should not have issues getting a sponsor or having a steady stream of clients. But she is so polite, nice and everything, that I always have some sort of cognitive dissonance when I think about what she used to do (and is probably still doing it now as freelance). To date she still has not brought up money or her expenses at all with me though.

Sorry that this has sort of become a journal, I really have no one else to share this with as I'm sort of leading a double life..

Originally Posted by Ket54

Maybe she also don't want to tied down to a permanent thing (after how the first partner literally ended) and just wants to have your company (you must have met her need for someone she feels comfortable with), not all girls are clingy to their 'companion' all the time and they want their own alone-time too. I know Thai girls who are really comfortable and content just being by themselves and not looking. 'Have good, don't have also good' type. Enjoy your time with her when you can.. she's quite pretty and good thing the sex is enjoyable. Keep it light and don't overthink bro

[jiandaofan]

Originally Posted by cbk69

Thanks for the insights bro. Indeed after I think about it, I feel she may be exactly what you said - keeping it fun, non-committal.

I made another trip to BKK this week as I had some time on my hands and was bored.
The 2nd girl came to my room the first night and we had sex once before dinner, and once after.. Could tell she enjoys sex quite a lot as she gets turned on easily when I lick her nipples (actually this seems to be true for majority of the girls out there), and she came quite a few times. However it seems she is looking for something more serious in a relationship, and something I said during dinner made her feel that we couldn't continue this, so she cut it off after the first night and she said we could remain as good friends. Fine. Her massage techniques are next level though. I've done a ton of massages and she easily ranks among the best in terms of strength and technique, as she took her massage course at Wat Pho.

I then reached out to the 1st girl and told her I was in BKK for a last min work trip, and she bought it (well not really heh, she obviously had her suspicions but didn't push). I wasn't planning on meeting her this trip as it had only been about 10 days since our Phuket trip. We ended up spending the next 4 nights together and we had a really good time as usual. I think I have a much higher sex drive than her though as she only wants to have sex once at night when we get back to the hotel, and she is afraid of getting turned on at other times outside of that haha (licking her nipples and frenching her drives her crazy and really turns her on).. With the flooding and rain these few days I was really happy that she still braved the trouble to meet me. On the last day she even walked a very long way with me to get my luggage from a locker before I left for the airport, even though she doesn't like walking at all (seems to be true for many Thai girls at least those I've met, they'd rather take a grab bike even for relatively short distances hmm).

I learnt that her family has a small rubber plantation (about 1000 trees) and that she was trying to hire Laos workers but it has been proving difficult. And she was open with me that she does Botox every 3 months.. she's only 33. Anyway, with her large expenses spent on maintaining herself (and she's staying in a condo - albeit sharing a 2 or 3 BR apartment with a friend), I guess she must really be freelancing and/or she has some sponsor, but I try not to think about that too much...she is quite pretty in my eyes though, should not have issues getting a sponsor or having a steady stream of clients. But she is so polite, nice and everything, that I always have some sort of cognitive dissonance when I think about what she used to do (and is probably still doing it now as freelance). To date she still has not brought up money or her expenses at all with me though.

Sorry that this has sort of become a journal, I really have no one else to share this with as I'm sort of leading a double life..

Thanks for sharing bro, keep on updating!

these are the small updates i look forward to reading at night before i sleep!

envious of your sex trip!

[cumranger69]

Chance into this thread and I will say Penguin gives great advice in this issue.

Be open with her when the time comes. U will see a shift in the relationship dynamics.

[Penguin23]

Originally Posted by cbk69

Thanks for the insights bro. Indeed after I think about it, I feel she may be exactly what you said - keeping it fun, non-committal.

I made another trip to BKK this week as I had some time on my hands and was bored.
The 2nd girl came to my room the first night and we had sex once before dinner, and once after.. Could tell she enjoys sex quite a lot as she gets turned on easily when I lick her nipples (actually this seems to be true for majority of the girls out there), and she came quite a few times. However it seems she is looking for something more serious in a relationship, and something I said during dinner made her feel that we couldn't continue this, so she cut it off after the first night and she said we could remain as good friends. Fine. Her massage techniques are next level though. I've done a ton of massages and she easily ranks among the best in terms of strength and technique, as she took her massage course at Wat Pho.

I then reached out to the 1st girl and told her I was in BKK for a last min work trip, and she bought it (well not really heh, she obviously had her suspicions but didn't push). I wasn't planning on meeting her this trip as it had only been about 10 days since our Phuket trip. We ended up spending the next 4 nights together and we had a really good time as usual. I think I have a much higher sex drive than her though as she only wants to have sex once at night when we get back to the hotel, and she is afraid of getting turned on at other times outside of that haha (licking her nipples and frenching her drives her crazy and really turns her on).. With the flooding and rain these few days I was really happy that she still braved the trouble to meet me. On the last day she even walked a very long way with me to get my luggage from a locker before I left for the airport, even though she doesn't like walking at all (seems to be true for many Thai girls at least those I've met, they'd rather take a grab bike even for relatively short distances hmm).

I learnt that her family has a small rubber plantation (about 1000 trees) and that she was trying to hire Laos workers but it has been proving difficult. And she was open with me that she does Botox every 3 months.. she's only 33. Anyway, with her large expenses spent on maintaining herself (and she's staying in a condo - albeit sharing a 2 or 3 BR apartment with a friend), I guess she must really be freelancing and/or she has some sponsor, but I try not to think about that too much...she is quite pretty in my eyes though, should not have issues getting a sponsor or having a steady stream of clients. But she is so polite, nice and everything, that I always have some sort of cognitive dissonance when I think about what she used to do (and is probably still doing it now as freelance). To date she still has not brought up money or her expenses at all with me though.

Sorry that this has sort of become a journal, I really have no one else to share this with as I'm sort of leading a double life..

The way we communicate are driven by our primary language (the language that we think in).

I used to have a Thai boss, and I have been involved with Thai ladies before in addition to Viet and obviously PRC ladies as well. Thai and VN languages are what you call high-context languages, in the sense that the context behind the message matters so much more than the content. English is a low-context language, communications thrive on precision and clear communication. To a Thai or a Viet, doing the same thing (in their native language) is a sign of rudeness or anger. This is the crux of a lot of misunderstandings between SG-Thai/VN couples, and also the reason why so much can be lost in translation (when messaging) leading to misunderstandings.

In bringing up the rubber plantation, she may be signaling her intention of letting you know her family background, and implicitly, if you are willing to share a little bit about your own. Telling you a bit about her background, may well be her cue in letting you know a bit about her finances. A Thai person can make an educated guess what a 1000-tree plantation brings in, depending on how old the trees are and consequently, how much this helps to provide for her family.

My guess is that your girl is actually not lacking in terms of finances, but probably wants a "safety cushion" hence she looks for FL opportunities. She may be quite selective in her client base, and given her age she probably isn't hungry for a lot of new business but rather looking for something longer term and hopefully, something semi-permanent.

I think it is a very positive sign that she responds to your last-minute invitation, better still that she stays with you all the way till you have to leave
If you miss this cue, watch how conversations with her in the future develop. As I have said before, enjoy the time you have, try not to think too much about what she does (and who she is fucking) when you are not with her. Since you are in no position to offer her a semi-permanent arrangement, it is best that you telll yourself, that this encounter will one day come to an end.

[cbk69]

Hey bro thanks for sharing, I always look forward to your insightful posts.

Interesting, I have read before about the context stuff, but it didn't occur to me until now.
However, she didn't bring up the rubber plantation thing herself, it was something that I asked about as a casual conversation topic. I don't know how big or small a 1000-tree plantation is (obviously lol - a clueless city guy), but it does seem small as what she said, so probably her family isn't making that much at the moment (though she did say rubber prices went up quite a bit recently so things are pretty OK).
But I know her family background is not that poor, because I've seen photos (and videos of her house as well, when she was doing video chat with her mom/relatives), and her family has a couple of pets too.
She was very entrepreneurial when she was in her early/mid 20s too, she had as many as 3 shops (a mookrata shop, a clothing shop and something else), but it folded due to Covid and her over-stretching. And I also learnt this time (quite surprised honestly) that she has a degree in accountancy from a uni in Udon Thani, though she only worked in a company for 3 months before calling it quits.

What she probably understands about me is, I fly around for work (and play) very frequently and I have a free and easy lifestyle, barely spending time in SG. Which is kind of true as my wife does not bother where I go, I lead a single's lifestyle essentially. Sometimes she pokes fun at me and slaps my arm playfully saying "I know.. you go massage blah blah", but TBH I doubt that was a real joke by her, I'm sure she knows I F around since after all I actually did find her in that F shop that I mentioned before. But of course I never tell her that. It feels like we're probably each just choosing to ignore certain "unpleasant" things that we both know deep down, must be happening.

Yeah I was really thankful (and also a little amazed) that she spent 4 nights with me (and large chunks of certain days), and this was literally last minute (as in, I texted her when I was already in my hotel room, and lol this time I actually stay pretty far from where she's living (in Sukhumvit). TBH if she said she was busy I would have totally understood it, and I was actually expecting that too. Yet whenever I ask if she is busy, she always says she is "free for me" - sounds like just Thai niceties but surprisingly she has kept to her word most if not all the time.

The one thing I can't wrap my mind around is that (if I'm not wrong) she used to work in those F shops (for about 4 years in Korea before she got deported), and then in a BKK F shop for about a year - surely they can't choose their clients there. I don't know if they make much but there are so many F shops around there that I doubt they make much at all.
I always had the impression that these F shops are for girls who are more desperate for money, because honestly if say someone physically repulsive shows up and chooses her, they also can't say no (this is the part that is quite horrifying for me to be honest, if I'm a girl, how would I feel if I had to service someone that I find repulsive.... I know maybe they just shut their mind off but it's still something I can't wrap my head around.)

BTW, that part of her background (the 4 years in Korea) was something she shared when we were both lying in bed in the F shop a year ago - at that time I guess I saw her as a standard massage girl (with super high GFE lol) and she saw me as a standard client, so it felt fine to dig into that part of her background. However ever since she left that shop, we have never talked about it anymore and I actively try to avoid the topic too, because it just doesn't feel right to talk about it anymore.

And yeah. I know this must come to an end eventually. I am actually not a sentimental guy so if things come to an end, I might feel sad for a day and that's it (though I might go on a revenge spree and find a replacement - don't know).
And to be brutally frank, one of the main reasons I like having her is that the sex with her is by far the best I've ever had, it's so passionate and raw that I think it would be hard for me to find that anywhere else, and when we sleep together naked and hugging each other, the sense of warmth and comfort is just something out of this world. But because she's so polite to everyone and so considerate for me when we're out (always checking if I'm OK etc, never makes any food requests and leaves it 100% to me, walks with me for super long distances even though she definitely does NOT like walking), I feel like she's such a gem that's hard to come by. If we ever part ways, I sincerely hope she finds a good husband who can really treat her the way she deserves to be treated.

Originally Posted by Penguin23

The way we communicate are driven by our primary language (the language that we think in).

I used to have a Thai boss, and I have been involved with Thai ladies before in addition to Viet and obviously PRC ladies as well. Thai and VN languages are what you call high-context languages, in the sense that the context behind the message matters so much more than the content. English is a low-context language, communications thrive on precision and clear communication. To a Thai or a Viet, doing the same thing (in their native language) is a sign of rudeness or anger. This is the crux of a lot of misunderstandings between SG-Thai/VN couples, and also the reason why so much can be lost in translation (when messaging) leading to misunderstandings.

In bringing up the rubber plantation, she may be signaling her intention of letting you know her family background, and implicitly, if you are willing to share a little bit about your own. Telling you a bit about her background, may well be her cue in letting you know a bit about her finances. A Thai person can make an educated guess what a 1000-tree plantation brings in, depending on how old the trees are and consequently, how much this helps to provide for her family.

My guess is that your girl is actually not lacking in terms of finances, but probably wants a "safety cushion" hence she looks for FL opportunities. She may be quite selective in her client base, and given her age she probably isn't hungry for a lot of new business but rather looking for something longer term and hopefully, something semi-permanent.

I think it is a very positive sign that she responds to your last-minute invitation, better still that she stays with you all the way till you have to leave
If you miss this cue, watch how conversations with her in the future develop. As I have said before, enjoy the time you have, try not to think too much about what she does (and who she is fucking) when you are not with her. Since you are in no position to offer her a semi-permanent arrangement, it is best that you telll yourself, that this encounter will one day come to an end.

[Penguin23]

Originally Posted by cbk69

Hey bro thanks for sharing, I always look forward to your insightful posts.

Interesting, I have read before about the context stuff, but it didn't occur to me until now.
However, she didn't bring up the rubber plantation thing herself, it was something that I asked about as a casual conversation topic. I don't know how big or small a 1000-tree plantation is (obviously lol - a clueless city guy), but it does seem small as what she said, so probably her family isn't making that much at the moment (though she did say rubber prices went up quite a bit recently so things are pretty OK).
But I know her family background is not that poor, because I've seen photos (and videos of her house as well, when she was doing video chat with her mom/relatives), and her family has a couple of pets too.
She was very entrepreneurial when she was in her early/mid 20s too, she had as many as 3 shops (a mookrata shop, a clothing shop and something else), but it folded due to Covid and her over-stretching. And I also learnt this time (quite surprised honestly) that she has a degree in accountancy from a uni in Udon Thani, though she only worked in a company for 3 months before calling it quits.

What she probably understands about me is, I fly around for work (and play) very frequently and I have a free and easy lifestyle, barely spending time in SG. Which is kind of true as my wife does not bother where I go, I lead a single's lifestyle essentially. Sometimes she pokes fun at me and slaps my arm playfully saying "I know.. you go massage blah blah", but TBH I doubt that was a real joke by her, I'm sure she knows I F around since after all I actually did find her in that F shop that I mentioned before. But of course I never tell her that. It feels like we're probably each just choosing to ignore certain "unpleasant" things that we both know deep down, must be happening.

Yeah I was really thankful (and also a little amazed) that she spent 4 nights with me (and large chunks of certain days), and this was literally last minute (as in, I texted her when I was already in my hotel room, and lol this time I actually stay pretty far from where she's living (in Sukhumvit). TBH if she said she was busy I would have totally understood it, and I was actually expecting that too. Yet whenever I ask if she is busy, she always says she is "free for me" - sounds like just Thai niceties but surprisingly she has kept to her word most if not all the time.

The one thing I can't wrap my mind around is that (if I'm not wrong) she used to work in those F shops (for about 4 years in Korea before she got deported), and then in a BKK F shop for about a year - surely they can't choose their clients there. I don't know if they make much but there are so many F shops around there that I doubt they make much at all.
I always had the impression that these F shops are for girls who are more desperate for money, because honestly if say someone physically repulsive shows up and chooses her, they also can't say no (this is the part that is quite horrifying for me to be honest, if I'm a girl, how would I feel if I had to service someone that I find repulsive.... I know maybe they just shut their mind off but it's still something I can't wrap my head around.)

BTW, that part of her background (the 4 years in Korea) was something she shared when we were both lying in bed in the F shop a year ago - at that time I guess I saw her as a standard massage girl (with super high GFE lol) and she saw me as a standard client, so it felt fine to dig into that part of her background. However ever since she left that shop, we have never talked about it anymore and I actively try to avoid the topic too, because it just doesn't feel right to talk about it anymore.

And yeah. I know this must come to an end eventually. I am actually not a sentimental guy so if things come to an end, I might feel sad for a day and that's it (though I might go on a revenge spree and find a replacement - don't know).
And to be brutally frank, one of the main reasons I like having her is that the sex with her is by far the best I've ever had, it's so passionate and raw that I think it would be hard for me to find that anywhere else, and when we sleep together naked and hugging each other, the sense of warmth and comfort is just something out of this world. But because she's so polite to everyone and so considerate for me when we're out (always checking if I'm OK etc, never makes any food requests and leaves it 100% to me, walks with me for super long distances even though she definitely does NOT like walking), I feel like she's such a gem that's hard to come by. If we ever part ways, I sincerely hope she finds a good husband who can really treat her the way she deserves to be treated.

I can tell that your mind keeps circling back to the period where she works in F shops. You should ask her about it one day, see if she is open enough to tell you. She didn't bother to hide that part of her history, I don't think she would hide the reason(s) why she had to do it. If this is something that's on your mind, you should ask her about it the next time you see her.

If she is the eldest in the family, she would have had some responsibility for family finances, so her work stint would have probably coincided with her business closures during Covid and needing to pay debts, recapitalize the family farm and also for her own financial obligations - she would have needed to financially support her kid for all this time.

You may have read about the Thai concept of Bun Khun - essentially she owes an unpayable debt to her parents, so working in an F shop to help her family is a very common thing. It is tragic when you see a girl in the sex trade, to "help" the parents out of a financial hole which they got into through gambling addiction, or to pay mind boggling sums to temple mediums for "blessings". If her family has neither, then she is really lucky.

You also mentioned that she doesn't go for luxury items, so she's not the kind who works in an F shop to buy the latest iPhone or to add to her collection of luxury handbags. That's another good sign. It is also good that she doesn't demand or hanker for a luxurious life - though her entrepreneurial past will mean that one day she will surely bring up the idea of starting another business.

Just my collection of random thoughts.

[cbk69]

She is indeed the eldest in the family. She has a brother who recently started working, and she always jokes that she hopes she doesn't get any message from the brother haha (because it's usually trouble). The interesting thing is, I don't know if her family knows what she does/did for a living, because everything else about her is so "normal" - and her mom even comes to BKK once in a while (maybe every 4-6 months or so) to visit her.

Yeah, like I mentioned before, she didn't hide that part of her history because she told it to me while we were in the F shop a year ago. I guess at that time, she probably saw me as a customer and I saw her as a WL. We have not talked about it anymore ever since our relationship changed after she left the shop. Actually, I remember that on the day that she told me she was leaving (quitting) the shop, I happened to be in BKK that day and we were supposed to meet, but she said she had to meet the day after instead because she had to sort things out with the shop. When we met, I asked her if everything was okay, and she said yes, and she said she would try selling clothes online instead.

And yes I did come across the concept of Bun Khun while reading reddit. It is tragic, no doubt. Something that us outsiders find very hard to understand, that a girl has to go through that just for the family. But in her case, as you had probably deduced correctly, her family probably doesn't need that much support from her.

I don't know when's the right time to bring up the subject of her past (working in F shops) again, but yes you're right that it is a nagging thing in my mind. I'll think on this one.

To be very honest, I'm also very conflicted myself as I shouldn't even be doing this while I'm married, but yeah that's something I hope I can sort out eventually. Bros like you who eventually settled and not F-ing around anymore, I really respect it as I don't know how or when I'll get there.

Originally Posted by Penguin23

I can tell that your mind keeps circling back to the period where she works in F shops. You should ask her about it one day, see if she is open enough to tell you. She didn't bother to hide that part of her history, I don't think she would hide the reason(s) why she had to do it. If this is something that's on your mind, you should ask her about it the next time you see her.

If she is the eldest in the family, she would have had some responsibility for family finances, so her work stint would have probably coincided with her business closures during Covid and needing to pay debts, recapitalize the family farm and also for her own financial obligations - she would have needed to financially support her kid for all this time.

You may have read about the Thai concept of Bun Khun - essentially she owes an unpayable debt to her parents, so working in an F shop to help her family is a very common thing. It is tragic when you see a girl in the sex trade, to "help" the parents out of a financial hole which they got into through gambling addiction, or to pay mind boggling sums to temple mediums for "blessings". If her family has neither, then she is really lucky.

You also mentioned that she doesn't go for luxury items, so she's not the kind who works in an F shop to buy the latest iPhone or to add to her collection of luxury handbags. That's another good sign. It is also good that she doesn't demand or hanker for a luxurious life - though her entrepreneurial past will mean that one day she will surely bring up the idea of starting another business.

Just my collection of random thoughts.

[Penguin23]

Originally Posted by cbk69

She is indeed the eldest in the family. She has a brother who recently started working, and she always jokes that she hopes she doesn't get any message from the brother haha (because it's usually trouble). The interesting thing is, I don't know if her family knows what she does/did for a living, because everything else about her is so "normal" - and her mom even comes to BKK once in a while (maybe every 4-6 months or so) to visit her.

Yeah, like I mentioned before, she didn't hide that part of her history because she told it to me while we were in the F shop a year ago. I guess at that time, she probably saw me as a customer and I saw her as a WL. We have not talked about it anymore ever since our relationship changed after she left the shop. Actually, I remember that on the day that she told me she was leaving (quitting) the shop, I happened to be in BKK that day and we were supposed to meet, but she said she had to meet the day after instead because she had to sort things out with the shop. When we met, I asked her if everything was okay, and she said yes, and she said she would try selling clothes online instead.

And yes I did come across the concept of Bun Khun while reading reddit. It is tragic, no doubt. Something that us outsiders find very hard to understand, that a girl has to go through that just for the family. But in her case, as you had probably deduced correctly, her family probably doesn't need that much support from her.

I don't know when's the right time to bring up the subject of her past (working in F shops) again, but yes you're right that it is a nagging thing in my mind. I'll think on this one.

To be very honest, I'm also very conflicted myself as I shouldn't even be doing this while I'm married, but yeah that's something I hope I can sort out eventually. Bros like you who eventually settled and not F-ing around anymore, I really respect it as I don't know how or when I'll get there.

Her family can probably guess what she did to earn so much money in a short time, but like most Thai families they will never bring up the subject.

I sort of guessed that your lady is the eldest in the family, judging by the way she so casually shoulders the burdens of the other family members.

A girl doing nightlife to fulfil her obligations under Bun Khun, feels nothing in terms of how "unclean" the work may seem to others. By entering the trade she has already made an explicit choice - those who can accept that part of her history, can stay. Those who cannot, can go. The past cannot be changed, the money she earned from F shops probably has already been spent and to her the sacrifice was well worth it so there is nothing really for her to account for. You may want to dwell on that a little, because the context (on how you bring up the subject with her) will mean a lot.

Something that may help you frame your thoughts - given the current situation, I think it is very likely that you will see her again. You can bring up the subject of her wishes for the future, to get some insight on how she thinks. She sounds quite sensible, so she would have given this matter some thought. As I said before, it is not often that a single mother from Isaan gets to meet a guy who she really enjoys being with, she probably wants to ask you so many questions but she's probably afraid to ask. I do not think that she is looking for a long-term commitment, but it will be really interesting to see what she is really thinking of.

As always, I think that she is also looking for some honesty so think about that as well. This is a difficult topic and full of cultural overtones, but Thais/Viets stretch the concept of a "white lie" in ways beyond what any SG guy would deem reasonable. My own realization, came only when my girl asked me to see a super box-office hit VN movie with her (it was showing in Singapore) - Bo Gia - literally, Old Father. The dynamics in that Viet movie made me appreciate the complexities of VN relationships a lot more, literally every family member was keeping secrets from the other family members. Thais are very culturally similar (they are a lot more friendly than Viets, in my opinion)

[cbk69]

Actually, I did ask her about her future and what she wants to do. She said she had no idea, no aim at the moment, but she will stay in Bangkok for the foreseeable future as she likes it here vs Udon.
Maybe her business failures in the past broke her in some way, I'm not sure. So I also didn't probe further. I don't think her online clothes business is going anywhere since she hasn't brought it up, and she also just says it is "okay" when I ask.

Once in a while I try to poke indirectly by asking what she is doing "the next day" on the previous night, or if she has "work", but I didn't really dare to ask what work she is doing. Sometimes she will say yes she has work, sometimes she will say she is free at 7pm or 8pm (for the recent trip, on 2 of the days (out of 3 days) she was free at 7pm onwards, and one of the days it was raining/flooding so she waited till the rain stopped at 6pm before meeting me). Feels like if she is freelancing, I'm probably taking away the most lucrative hours of her day)? Not sure.

Btw I think she told me that she had a BF in Korea in the past, but it had to end after she got deported. We didn't go deep into this part, she (obviously) didn't wish to talk about it too much.
Oh there was once during a drinking session (but she doesn't drink much - I'm the one getting her to drink lol) in our room where she also said she sees a "doctor" (I'm guessing a psychiatrist?) once in a long while when she has insomnia or when she needs someone to talk about her problem. But she never went deep into it and we never talked about it since, and she's the one pointing out to me whenever I looked "sad" (actually I'm just thinking about my work schedule sometimes lol), she's always the more cheerful one haha.

All in all it feels like she actually isn't very keen to share about herself for some reason, yet she also doesn't want to dig too much about me as well. I don't know how long she would continue in this current mode in our "relationship" even if I'm personally happy with this arrangement for now.

[kitsura]

Just do a search on YouTube of all the farang getting scammed by Isan girls. You erect cock will quickly turn soft, trust me!

[kitsura]

Originally Posted by Penguin23

The way we communicate are driven by our primary language (the language that we think in).

I used to have a Thai boss, and I have been involved with Thai ladies before in addition to Viet and obviously PRC ladies as well. Thai and VN languages are what you call high-context languages, in the sense that the context behind the message matters so much more than the content. English is a low-context language, communications thrive on precision and clear communication. To a Thai or a Viet, doing the same thing (in their native language) is a sign of rudeness or anger. This is the crux of a lot of misunderstandings between SG-Thai/VN couples, and also the reason why so much can be lost in translation (when messaging) leading to misunderstandings.

In bringing up the rubber plantation, she may be signaling her intention of letting you know her family background, and implicitly, if you are willing to share a little bit about your own. Telling you a bit about her background, may well be her cue in letting you know a bit about her finances. A Thai person can make an educated guess what a 1000-tree plantation brings in, depending on how old the trees are and consequently, how much this helps to provide for her family.

My guess is that your girl is actually not lacking in terms of finances, but probably wants a "safety cushion" hence she looks for FL opportunities. She may be quite selective in her client base, and given her age she probably isn't hungry for a lot of new business but rather looking for something longer term and hopefully, something semi-permanent.

I think it is a very positive sign that she responds to your last-minute invitation, better still that she stays with you all the way till you have to leave
If you miss this cue, watch how conversations with her in the future develop. As I have said before, enjoy the time you have, try not to think too much about what she does (and who she is fucking) when you are not with her. Since you are in no position to offer her a semi-permanent arrangement, it is best that you telll yourself, that this encounter will one day come to an end.

TIL, I didn't know much about Thai/VN since I never studied those languages. However I am fluent in Japanese and learning Korean both of which are very high context languages which requires you to read the room or air! If I ever get a Thai gf I know how to respond now.

[dman19]

Originally Posted by cbk69

This is going to be long, so it's only for those who have the time to read

see if anyone had a similar experience to share, or comments and questions are welcome too.

Was a good read, and relatable. Mine was in China and I go there really frequently, she was mid-twenties (totally my type of looks) having a stable job and doing freelance companionship when I first met her. And it lasted for a few years until last year. This year she just turned 30.

The sex started actually only after a year knowing her, and about 6 months later it we did it raw and never looked back. Best sex of my life, we were doing it like 3-4 times every night when we spent the whole night together and like what bro Penguin said, these are the times you look back and felt that you have lived it. I never CIP her, didn't want to risk it. Ironically on one of our last few fucks, she actually requested I wear a CD and of course I shot inside, but it broke. She was so worried and kept saying like "Don't you know it broke when you were doing it?" like how would I know in the moment. And she rushed to get a morning after pill.

Anyways it went downhill from there, met and did a few times raw and the sex was good but the feeling kinda didn't felt the same anymore... I guess for both parties. A few occasions when I asked her out and she couldn't make time so I assumed she have a life and moved on and didn't meet henceforth. Honestly happy for her so nowadays we only text on special occasions like birthdays or major holidays.

I have regressed in the area of sexual activity quite a lot as I am by nature not a person who have a high sex drive and I do find it a bit hard to move on from her as it is almost impossible to find someone who can give me that kind of quality of sex. Not that I have given up but I have been sparingly trying to venture with different girls but so far not much joy. well.... it is what it is